[eng] dbsk - and then, i fly
And then, I fly
fandom:dbsk, pg, ~350w
junho-centric
beta: silent_twin, as usual ♥
And then, I fly
There’s nothing you can grasp and keep in your hands when the whole world is working against you. You can yell, you can cry, you can do everything in your power to protest but in the end… you’re just powerless, useless, thrown away in a corner of his heart, of his memories, of his life.
“It’s not fair,” you used to say.
Now you don’t say anything anymore - he’s not even here to listen to you. He’s gone, with them. You used to hate them, all four of them, but now the anger has turned into apathy, then indifference. Now you’re shaking their hands and saying, Thanks for taking care of my brother, even though you’re thinking I’ll never forgive you for having him taken away. You can’t compete against them - and even if you try, you know you’ll just end up breaking him, and… the very idea of him being hurt is enough to keep you from doing it. You so hate it, the way you care even though he doesn’t. Has he ever thought of you when he signed for SM, when he went to Japan, when he became a star, shining so high in the sky you can’t reach for it anymore? Has he ever thought of the sacrifices you made, when your mother was so focused on him, his career, his voice, that she had never time for you?
“It’s not fair,” you used to say.
The words are still on the tip of your tongue but you swallow them, seal them, and make sure to smile instead. He’s in front of you beaming, because they reached whatever chart in Japan and - oh, it is so fabulous. You want to shout I don’t care, and you say It’s great, Junsu. You’re thinking don’t go, and whispered I hope you’ll stay healthy in Japan. He’s clueless, this baby brother of yours, innocence radiating of his being. You’d rather die than steal it from him.
So you look at him going away and - it’s not fair, you think. Then you die a little inside.
fandom:dbsk, pg, ~350w
junho-centric
beta: silent_twin, as usual ♥
And then, I fly
There’s nothing you can grasp and keep in your hands when the whole world is working against you. You can yell, you can cry, you can do everything in your power to protest but in the end… you’re just powerless, useless, thrown away in a corner of his heart, of his memories, of his life.
“It’s not fair,” you used to say.
Now you don’t say anything anymore - he’s not even here to listen to you. He’s gone, with them. You used to hate them, all four of them, but now the anger has turned into apathy, then indifference. Now you’re shaking their hands and saying, Thanks for taking care of my brother, even though you’re thinking I’ll never forgive you for having him taken away. You can’t compete against them - and even if you try, you know you’ll just end up breaking him, and… the very idea of him being hurt is enough to keep you from doing it. You so hate it, the way you care even though he doesn’t. Has he ever thought of you when he signed for SM, when he went to Japan, when he became a star, shining so high in the sky you can’t reach for it anymore? Has he ever thought of the sacrifices you made, when your mother was so focused on him, his career, his voice, that she had never time for you?
“It’s not fair,” you used to say.
The words are still on the tip of your tongue but you swallow them, seal them, and make sure to smile instead. He’s in front of you beaming, because they reached whatever chart in Japan and - oh, it is so fabulous. You want to shout I don’t care, and you say It’s great, Junsu. You’re thinking don’t go, and whispered I hope you’ll stay healthy in Japan. He’s clueless, this baby brother of yours, innocence radiating of his being. You’d rather die than steal it from him.
So you look at him going away and - it’s not fair, you think. Then you die a little inside.