[ENG] - JaeSu - A step forward
Title: A step forward
Fandom: DBSK/TVXQ
Pairing: Jaejoong/Junsu
Genre: Fluffy angst
Beta: silent_twin
1.
Jaejoong was fond of cute things. Sometimes, he wondered if it had something to do with the fact that he had grown up with eight sisters, exposed since his earliest days to an insane amount of cuteness - fluffy teddy bears and big-eyes dolls could have affect him to a degree he’d never imagined. He likes pretty things, entertaining and fascinating enough to enthral him for a while.
Kim Junsu was one of them. Jaejoong was surprised to find himself laughing at his bad jokes, his childish faces, and his way to do things, very Junsu-like and just adorable. Junsu was pretty and his hips could move in a manner Jaejoong had never believed to be possible. But nothing seemed impossible for Junsu, Jaejoong mused.
2.
He knew he was badly screwed when the world decided that there was JaeHo on one side and YooSu on the other (and MinSu/JaeMin in between, but nothing seemed strong enough to weaken the two stars pairings). It meant he wouldn’t be allowed to use the pretext of fanservice to touch Junsu anymore, and from now on it involved Yunho and only him.
3.
He succeeded for a while. Junsu didn't like being touched. He tolerated when people took his hand or passed an arm around his waist, but nothing more. Otherwise he tensed up to show his uneasiness, and it wasn’t something Jaejoong wanted. Junsu was also very independent, he learned. He was fine by his own. And somehow, Jaejoong felt hurt knowing that.
4.
He dreamed of stolen kisses, soft touches, of forbidden things he felt ashamed to imagine and would probably never have. He fantasized about being Yunho, or Yoochun, or even Changmin. Yunho was like a brother for Junsu, Yoochun was the half of YooSu, and Changmin was the youngest, the one who could do everything and be forgiven. As for him, he couldn’t go near, couldn’t touch. He did like that he didn’t care and watched them from behind.
5.
“Do you hate me, Junsu?”
Jaejoong asked him this question after being ignored for the third time this morning. Junsu tilted his head on the side and gave him a questioning look. Jaejoong had a hard time keeping a straight face.
“No. Why?”
The answer was simple and without flourish, but Jaejoong was under the impression of being submerged by a wave of relief. Shyly, he allowed himself to give him a little hug and never felt this happy when Junsu relaxed in his arms.
6.
“Junsu doesn’t need anybody,” Yunho told him one night. “But it doesn’t mean he will push people away who are willing to be here for him.”
7.
He was trying to get closer. He hid his uneasiness and his clumsiness by being a fool, giggling and hopping around. Yoochun and Changmin were throwing him curious stares.
“You’re in good shape today,” Yoochun said, very amused, when he saw Jaejoong giving a tap on Junsu’s butt.
“It’s not funny,” Junsu whined.
8.
Junsu was on the phone with his mother, or his twin, or his best friend. And it seemed as if nothing around him existed. Jaejoong had the urge to steal the phone and wrack it against a wall.
9.
“You get all worked up over nothing, Hyung,” Changmin said. “Junsu has as much concentration as a goldfish in its good days. If you don’t force him to see you, he won’t.”
10.
He had gathered all his determination. Junsu was on the sofa playing video games. Jaejoong came and sat beside him, thighs against thighs and shoulders against shoulders. Junsu just shrugged and moved on the side. Jaejoong froze.
“Junsu,” he whispered. He took the joystick from his hands. “Junsu,” he repeated forcefully.
Look at me. “Junsu.”
When their eyes met, Jaejoong couldn’t help but worry. It was as if his breath was being taken away, forcing his heart to beat louder.
Junsu gave him a wonderful grin. “Yes?”
And everything seemed so much easier; Jaejoong ignored the pinch of fear in his stomach and leaned forward to put on his lips a chaste kiss.
“Let me stay with you, ok, ‘Su?”
Junsu didn’t answer but didn’t push back neither. And this, Jaejoong decided, was a great step forward.
Fandom: DBSK/TVXQ
Pairing: Jaejoong/Junsu
Genre: Fluffy angst
Beta: silent_twin
1.
Jaejoong was fond of cute things. Sometimes, he wondered if it had something to do with the fact that he had grown up with eight sisters, exposed since his earliest days to an insane amount of cuteness - fluffy teddy bears and big-eyes dolls could have affect him to a degree he’d never imagined. He likes pretty things, entertaining and fascinating enough to enthral him for a while.
Kim Junsu was one of them. Jaejoong was surprised to find himself laughing at his bad jokes, his childish faces, and his way to do things, very Junsu-like and just adorable. Junsu was pretty and his hips could move in a manner Jaejoong had never believed to be possible. But nothing seemed impossible for Junsu, Jaejoong mused.
2.
He knew he was badly screwed when the world decided that there was JaeHo on one side and YooSu on the other (and MinSu/JaeMin in between, but nothing seemed strong enough to weaken the two stars pairings). It meant he wouldn’t be allowed to use the pretext of fanservice to touch Junsu anymore, and from now on it involved Yunho and only him.
3.
He succeeded for a while. Junsu didn't like being touched. He tolerated when people took his hand or passed an arm around his waist, but nothing more. Otherwise he tensed up to show his uneasiness, and it wasn’t something Jaejoong wanted. Junsu was also very independent, he learned. He was fine by his own. And somehow, Jaejoong felt hurt knowing that.
4.
He dreamed of stolen kisses, soft touches, of forbidden things he felt ashamed to imagine and would probably never have. He fantasized about being Yunho, or Yoochun, or even Changmin. Yunho was like a brother for Junsu, Yoochun was the half of YooSu, and Changmin was the youngest, the one who could do everything and be forgiven. As for him, he couldn’t go near, couldn’t touch. He did like that he didn’t care and watched them from behind.
5.
“Do you hate me, Junsu?”
Jaejoong asked him this question after being ignored for the third time this morning. Junsu tilted his head on the side and gave him a questioning look. Jaejoong had a hard time keeping a straight face.
“No. Why?”
The answer was simple and without flourish, but Jaejoong was under the impression of being submerged by a wave of relief. Shyly, he allowed himself to give him a little hug and never felt this happy when Junsu relaxed in his arms.
6.
“Junsu doesn’t need anybody,” Yunho told him one night. “But it doesn’t mean he will push people away who are willing to be here for him.”
7.
He was trying to get closer. He hid his uneasiness and his clumsiness by being a fool, giggling and hopping around. Yoochun and Changmin were throwing him curious stares.
“You’re in good shape today,” Yoochun said, very amused, when he saw Jaejoong giving a tap on Junsu’s butt.
“It’s not funny,” Junsu whined.
8.
Junsu was on the phone with his mother, or his twin, or his best friend. And it seemed as if nothing around him existed. Jaejoong had the urge to steal the phone and wrack it against a wall.
9.
“You get all worked up over nothing, Hyung,” Changmin said. “Junsu has as much concentration as a goldfish in its good days. If you don’t force him to see you, he won’t.”
10.
He had gathered all his determination. Junsu was on the sofa playing video games. Jaejoong came and sat beside him, thighs against thighs and shoulders against shoulders. Junsu just shrugged and moved on the side. Jaejoong froze.
“Junsu,” he whispered. He took the joystick from his hands. “Junsu,” he repeated forcefully.
Look at me. “Junsu.”
When their eyes met, Jaejoong couldn’t help but worry. It was as if his breath was being taken away, forcing his heart to beat louder.
Junsu gave him a wonderful grin. “Yes?”
And everything seemed so much easier; Jaejoong ignored the pinch of fear in his stomach and leaned forward to put on his lips a chaste kiss.
“Let me stay with you, ok, ‘Su?”
Junsu didn’t answer but didn’t push back neither. And this, Jaejoong decided, was a great step forward.