[ENG] - DBSK - Hey Girl! (everything's so fucking insane)
Hey Girl! (everything's so fucking insane)
DBSK/TVXQ!
PG-15 (language)
Yoosu, Minsu, YooMinSu
Junsu!girl, wtf, a lot of awkwardness
Beta: silent_twin
Hey girl! (everything’s so fucking insane)
By Eleawin
Yoochun knew something was wrong when Junsu locked himself in the bathroom. He had seen him sneaking out his room, sheets wrapped tightly around him like some security blanket.
“Junsu?” he asked throughout the door.
“Go away!”
Junsu’s voice sounded strange and restrained, as if he was sick or crying. Yoochun couldn’t help but worried.
“Please… what’s wrong, Su-yah?”
“I SAID: GO AWAY.”
“Wow,” Jaejoong, who was passing by, commented. “Did the two of you fight?”
Two hours later and with the help of a not-so-amused Yunho, Junsu was forced to step out of the bathroom. He had been crying.
“What - are you ok? Are you hurt?” Yoochun asked.
Junsu looked at him, somewhat haggard. There was something strange because Junsu looked softer, his features more delicate and refined than the Junsu Yoochun knew. And he looked smaller, too. Yoochun didn’t remember Junsu being
this small. Yunho was staring, mouth half opened as he pointed an area somewhere near Junsu’s chest.
“Junsu. You…”
“I have boobs,” Junsu whined. Yoochun blinked.
“We have a problem.”
Somehow, Yunho managed to remain calm when… well, when Yoochun was not, and Junsu even less. Jaejoong dropped his chops when Junsu entered the kitchen and Changmin… looked disturbed. Like, very very disturbed. Poor guy.
“I’m going to… um, I’m going to call our manager,” Jaejoong said.
“Don’t,” Junsu softly whispered.
He - she? - sounded desperate. “We can… pretend that never happened? We can hide it from the management?”
They just stared. Hard.
“I’m going to call our manager,” Jaejoong repeated and left.
Yoochun patted Junsu awkwardly on his (her?) head. “Don’t worry,” he said, “They’ll find a solution.”
It was uncomfortable, to have a girl in their flat. Even if it was
Junsu, and he lived here, and… Yoochun couldn’t help but think of how strange he felt when he saw him - her - in Junsu’s clothes -
her clothes - and looked so petite in them. He - she - could sing like Junsu, could talk like Junsu, do everything like Junsu, and even tease Yoochun like she was Junsu and -
“I think I’m going nuts,” he said to Jaejoong one night.
Jaejoong looked unfazed. “You’re not the only one,” he said.
He pointed at Changmin, who was doing a very bad job at pretending to read a Japanese manual in a corner of the room, when in fact he was goggling at her - Junsu - like he - she - was some kind of deity fallen from the sky he couldn’t take his eyes off.
“Hormones,” Jaejoong sighed.
Junsu refused to go out and wear the ‘fucking girly stuff’ Jaejoong borrowed from his sisters, much to the elder’s outrage.
“Fine! Go naked then!” Jaejoong shrieked, storming out of Junsu’s room.
“It’s kind of sad, but I don’t know which one of them is menstruating,” Yunho muttered.
Yoochun snorted.
“I’m not even pretty,” Junsu complained.
He - she - was facing the mirror and was burrowing his - her - brows in concentration as he - she - examined…
“I can’t take it anymore!” Yoochun shouted, smacking his fists on the table.
Junsu stared at him, with a look that clearly showed that he thought Yoochun was losing his mind - and he was. Seriously, he was.
“What?”
“I don’t know what to consider you as; as a girl or as a boy,” Yoochun groaned. He felt like banging his head against a wall or something even less dignified. Pathetic.
“You’re so petty,” Junsu said, full of miffed disbelief. “You should show some compassion! It’s really hard for me, you know? And so fucking embarrassing!”
“Whatever,” Yoochun said. He needed a smoke.
“She has a great body, like Junsu-hyung,” Changmin said.
He was excited, and drunk. Particularly drunk. Yoochun arched an eyebrow and took the bottle from the boy’s hands. He was getting animated, and Yoochun wasn’t sure he wanted a smashed Changmin fooling around. It would be messy. Not to mention that Jaejoong would kill him.
“I think I’m in love,” Changmin said.
Yoochun arched an eyebrow. It would be messy, indeed.
He slept and dreamed about hot chicks in noisy nightclubs, where he went sometimes with Jaejoong - private clubs where nobody gave a damn about who they were and with whom they flirted, where they could just be themselves and release their frustration growing through their packed schedule. The girls are all anonymous; faces without names, full red lips pouting prettily in the dark, soft curves and teasing smiles - Yoochun knew them, knew how to make them swoon, make them cry his name under his touches. And then Junsu said “Fuck me, Yoochun,” and everything swirled and swirled and they weren’t in a club anymore. Junsu’s voice was hoarse and full of desire - and
male, desperately male, nothing like the high pitch Junsu!girl had, and fuck, he was making out with his bandmate and it was Junsu and…
“Wake up!” Jaejoong sing-songed. “You’re going to be late, again.”
“Jaejoong, I’m crazy,” Yoochun choked, half awaked, half-panicked. “I dreamed of Junsu.”
“Well, at least you have good tastes,” Jaejoong commented.
“But I didn’t dream of the girl,” Yoochun said.
“Oh?” Realization dawned. “Oh.”
Jaejoong blinked. “So… Are you gay or something?”
Yunho was over-protective with Junsu. They introduced her as Junsu’s long lost cousin who was here for vacation, while Junsu was in check-up in hospital because of a very contagious disease. Yunho self-proclaimed himself as her bodyguard, throwing nasty glares to the male staffs that were swooping around.
“You should have said I was in a trip around Europe,” Junsu whined, not pleased with the commotion the news had created. “It’s more glamorous. What kind of disease am I supposed to have, anyway?”
“The kind with boobs,” Jaejoong said. He looked smug. “Do you think I can touch them?”
Changmin smacked him on the head. Hard.
Junsu kept clinging onto Yoochun and Yoochun kept fleeing. He was not sure if he preferred Junsu!girl or Junsu!boy, but anyway - both Junsu made him want to do stupid things, like say lame pick-up lines he usually reserved to pretty girls alone in nightclubs. Junsu wasn’t even that
pretty. She had small breasts and short-cut hair, boyish looks and an
amazing, amazing ass, shining eyes and - god. He felt so screwed.
“You’re ugly,” he told her on the spot.
Junsu!boy usually ignored him. Junsu!girl kicked him viciously in the stomach. Ow.
Changmin was surprisingly good at flirting, Yoochun mused. Too bad Junsu was oblivious to his efforts. It was entertaining to watch, to see both of them blushing and sputtering words which made no-sense like teenagers with their first-time crush. It was amusing, until Yoochun found them making out in the living room. He stayed in the shadow of the doorframe, unable to leave, watching them kiss, touch, and stroke each other, slow and clumsy on the couch. And then it broke. Junsu was crying, saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry Changmin,” and Changmin looked hurt, so young but still strong - “It’s ok. Don’t worry, Su-yah. Don’t worry…”
Yoochun fled again, because he didn’t think he could stand understanding what was going on.
“He likes me just because I’m a girl,” Junsu said. ”But I’m not. Not really, anyway.”
They were in Yoochun’s workroom and Junsu talked, talked because she needed it and Yoochun was her friend, so he had to lend her a shoulder to lie on. He was on his computer typing answers to fans, something he did when he didn’t want to think too hard. Junsu was sitting on the floor, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees. She looked small and cute - like Junsu!boy would look if he was here instead of
her, and - Yoochun missed him dearly.
“I’m the same,” Junsu snapped, as if she could read his mind. “I’m the same, the fucking same, Yoochun. Don’t take me for what I am not.”
She - he - looked hurt and angry. Yoochun couldn’t tell if she - he - was on the verge of crying or shouting or kicking him in the arm like he did when he was pissed with someone. So Junsu-ish.
“I love you,” he blurted without thinking.
“Great,” she snarled. “Sorry, I don’t think my boobs will last forever.”
Yoochun cringed.
It had been almost two weeks and Junsu!girl was still here, multiplying rumours about her and her supposed cousin, who was now somewhere in Europe in a trip with his twin to take some rest - Junsu liked this excuse better. Yoochun kept avoiding her, she kept avoiding Changmin, and Changmin stuck with Yoochun.
“You know, it’s like I’m in love with someone who doesn’t really exist,” Changmin said softly, his voice muffled against the pillow he was hugging.
Yoochun’s heart clenched.
“But maybe,” Changmin muttered. “Maybe I can love
him.”
“You don’t like guys,” Yoochun pointed out.
Changmin was smirking when he raised his head to have a better view of his bandmate.
“Neither do you, Hyung.”
Yoochun still dreamed of Junsu’s soft hands on his skin, his full lips on his own, his almost inaudible whispers of ‘I love you’, ‘I want you’, ‘Please…’ He woke up in the middle of the night with a major erection, and it was so fucking embarrassing. He sneaked in the bathroom to take a cold shower, but - Junsu’s hips moving against him, his silent gasps, his kisses tracing down his spine... Yoochun came, and hissed, “Fuck, fuck,” his hands clenching into fists he slammed hard against the wall. The door of the bathroom opened and he turned around, eyes wide from shock.
“Yoochun?” Junsu asked.
They were making out when Changmin barged in, eyes half opened and hair strangely mussed on the top of his head.
“Could you be less noisy?” he asked, not giving a damn about the horrified expression his elders wore. “People are trying to sleep there.”
“It won’t work at all,” Yoochun said. “He likes girls.”
He was on the balcony smoking - his second pack of cigarettes of the day - and Jaejoong was here, taking a drag whenever Yunho had his back turned.
“He kissed you,” Jaejoong pointed. “So he has to like guys too… Well, you, at least.”
“It’s just because right now, he’s a girl,” Yoochun muttered. The sentence was strange in his mouth. But what wasn’t strange, what wasn’t crazy, as if some deities in the sky were laughing their asses off while screwing up their lives. If Yoochun didn’t know better, he would think it was a conspiracy.
“No,” Jaejoong said. “It may look like this, but it’s still Junsu. Our Junsu. The one who crushed me at Gran Turismo yesterday, and made Yunho die when he was stupid enough to agree to play soccer with him this morning. Don’t ever forget it, Chunnie. He’s not a girl. Not even in your dreams.”
Maybe talking with Jaejoong had conjured their good fortune. Junsu came back to his original self, after a night of mad drinking and partying in the relative intimacy of their flat. Changmin got drunk again and - Yoochun didn’t want to think about it.
“Is everything in place?” Jaejoong asked. “Little Xiah is here?”
“Present!” Junsu chirped. “I missed him a lot!”
“Good.”
Yunho had this expression of pure relief on his face, and Yoochun was glad he dropped the protectiveness towards Junsu. His encounter with Yunho!bodyguard was still a painful memory.
“Now, Yoochun has things he wants to settle with you,” Jaejoong announced, pushing Yunho and Changmin out of the living-room. “Please finish before lunch, and! No making out on the table.”
Junsu kissed like he meant it, like he didn’t live a real nightmare these past two weeks, like he was in love with Yoochun, even if Yoochun didn’t have breasts or whatever that could make him more feminine and less awkward. Maybe Jaejoong was right, after all; maybe it could work.
“I feel bad for Changmin,” Yoochun couldn’t help but mention.
He couldn’t forget what the youngest confessed to him last night. It was kind of romantic, how a love could bloom from nothing - from the most awful mistake nature could produce, so unimaginable that Yoochun wasn’t sure it really happened, that it was real.
“He only liked the girl in me,” Junsu said.
He was upset, Yoochun could tell - and he knew, he knew everything because Yoochun was conscious of the fact that Junsu would never let someone kiss him, unless he’s the one who wanted it, and Changmin had gained the privilege, somehow. Even if Junsu didn’t want to say it out loud.
“He told me last night that he could try,” Yoochun whispered.
He didn’t know what made him to talk to the behalf of Changmin, but… hell, he was seriously insane. Junsu stayed silent for a while.
“Then,” he grinned, cocking an eyebrow. They were all so freaking insane. “Should we do a threesome?”
Comments are love.
Early Merry Christmas!
DBSK/TVXQ!
PG-15 (language)
Yoosu, Minsu, YooMinSu
Junsu!girl, wtf, a lot of awkwardness
Beta: silent_twin
Hey girl! (everything’s so fucking insane)
By Eleawin
Yoochun knew something was wrong when Junsu locked himself in the bathroom. He had seen him sneaking out his room, sheets wrapped tightly around him like some security blanket.
“Junsu?” he asked throughout the door.
“Go away!”
Junsu’s voice sounded strange and restrained, as if he was sick or crying. Yoochun couldn’t help but worried.
“Please… what’s wrong, Su-yah?”
“I SAID: GO AWAY.”
“Wow,” Jaejoong, who was passing by, commented. “Did the two of you fight?”
Two hours later and with the help of a not-so-amused Yunho, Junsu was forced to step out of the bathroom. He had been crying.
“What - are you ok? Are you hurt?” Yoochun asked.
Junsu looked at him, somewhat haggard. There was something strange because Junsu looked softer, his features more delicate and refined than the Junsu Yoochun knew. And he looked smaller, too. Yoochun didn’t remember Junsu being
this small. Yunho was staring, mouth half opened as he pointed an area somewhere near Junsu’s chest.
“Junsu. You…”
“I have boobs,” Junsu whined. Yoochun blinked.
“We have a problem.”
Somehow, Yunho managed to remain calm when… well, when Yoochun was not, and Junsu even less. Jaejoong dropped his chops when Junsu entered the kitchen and Changmin… looked disturbed. Like, very very disturbed. Poor guy.
“I’m going to… um, I’m going to call our manager,” Jaejoong said.
“Don’t,” Junsu softly whispered.
He - she? - sounded desperate. “We can… pretend that never happened? We can hide it from the management?”
They just stared. Hard.
“I’m going to call our manager,” Jaejoong repeated and left.
Yoochun patted Junsu awkwardly on his (her?) head. “Don’t worry,” he said, “They’ll find a solution.”
It was uncomfortable, to have a girl in their flat. Even if it was
Junsu, and he lived here, and… Yoochun couldn’t help but think of how strange he felt when he saw him - her - in Junsu’s clothes -
her clothes - and looked so petite in them. He - she - could sing like Junsu, could talk like Junsu, do everything like Junsu, and even tease Yoochun like she was Junsu and -
“I think I’m going nuts,” he said to Jaejoong one night.
Jaejoong looked unfazed. “You’re not the only one,” he said.
He pointed at Changmin, who was doing a very bad job at pretending to read a Japanese manual in a corner of the room, when in fact he was goggling at her - Junsu - like he - she - was some kind of deity fallen from the sky he couldn’t take his eyes off.
“Hormones,” Jaejoong sighed.
Junsu refused to go out and wear the ‘fucking girly stuff’ Jaejoong borrowed from his sisters, much to the elder’s outrage.
“Fine! Go naked then!” Jaejoong shrieked, storming out of Junsu’s room.
“It’s kind of sad, but I don’t know which one of them is menstruating,” Yunho muttered.
Yoochun snorted.
“I’m not even pretty,” Junsu complained.
He - she - was facing the mirror and was burrowing his - her - brows in concentration as he - she - examined…
“I can’t take it anymore!” Yoochun shouted, smacking his fists on the table.
Junsu stared at him, with a look that clearly showed that he thought Yoochun was losing his mind - and he was. Seriously, he was.
“What?”
“I don’t know what to consider you as; as a girl or as a boy,” Yoochun groaned. He felt like banging his head against a wall or something even less dignified. Pathetic.
“You’re so petty,” Junsu said, full of miffed disbelief. “You should show some compassion! It’s really hard for me, you know? And so fucking embarrassing!”
“Whatever,” Yoochun said. He needed a smoke.
“She has a great body, like Junsu-hyung,” Changmin said.
He was excited, and drunk. Particularly drunk. Yoochun arched an eyebrow and took the bottle from the boy’s hands. He was getting animated, and Yoochun wasn’t sure he wanted a smashed Changmin fooling around. It would be messy. Not to mention that Jaejoong would kill him.
“I think I’m in love,” Changmin said.
Yoochun arched an eyebrow. It would be messy, indeed.
He slept and dreamed about hot chicks in noisy nightclubs, where he went sometimes with Jaejoong - private clubs where nobody gave a damn about who they were and with whom they flirted, where they could just be themselves and release their frustration growing through their packed schedule. The girls are all anonymous; faces without names, full red lips pouting prettily in the dark, soft curves and teasing smiles - Yoochun knew them, knew how to make them swoon, make them cry his name under his touches. And then Junsu said “Fuck me, Yoochun,” and everything swirled and swirled and they weren’t in a club anymore. Junsu’s voice was hoarse and full of desire - and
male, desperately male, nothing like the high pitch Junsu!girl had, and fuck, he was making out with his bandmate and it was Junsu and…
“Wake up!” Jaejoong sing-songed. “You’re going to be late, again.”
“Jaejoong, I’m crazy,” Yoochun choked, half awaked, half-panicked. “I dreamed of Junsu.”
“Well, at least you have good tastes,” Jaejoong commented.
“But I didn’t dream of the girl,” Yoochun said.
“Oh?” Realization dawned. “Oh.”
Jaejoong blinked. “So… Are you gay or something?”
Yunho was over-protective with Junsu. They introduced her as Junsu’s long lost cousin who was here for vacation, while Junsu was in check-up in hospital because of a very contagious disease. Yunho self-proclaimed himself as her bodyguard, throwing nasty glares to the male staffs that were swooping around.
“You should have said I was in a trip around Europe,” Junsu whined, not pleased with the commotion the news had created. “It’s more glamorous. What kind of disease am I supposed to have, anyway?”
“The kind with boobs,” Jaejoong said. He looked smug. “Do you think I can touch them?”
Changmin smacked him on the head. Hard.
Junsu kept clinging onto Yoochun and Yoochun kept fleeing. He was not sure if he preferred Junsu!girl or Junsu!boy, but anyway - both Junsu made him want to do stupid things, like say lame pick-up lines he usually reserved to pretty girls alone in nightclubs. Junsu wasn’t even that
pretty. She had small breasts and short-cut hair, boyish looks and an
amazing, amazing ass, shining eyes and - god. He felt so screwed.
“You’re ugly,” he told her on the spot.
Junsu!boy usually ignored him. Junsu!girl kicked him viciously in the stomach. Ow.
Changmin was surprisingly good at flirting, Yoochun mused. Too bad Junsu was oblivious to his efforts. It was entertaining to watch, to see both of them blushing and sputtering words which made no-sense like teenagers with their first-time crush. It was amusing, until Yoochun found them making out in the living room. He stayed in the shadow of the doorframe, unable to leave, watching them kiss, touch, and stroke each other, slow and clumsy on the couch. And then it broke. Junsu was crying, saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry Changmin,” and Changmin looked hurt, so young but still strong - “It’s ok. Don’t worry, Su-yah. Don’t worry…”
Yoochun fled again, because he didn’t think he could stand understanding what was going on.
“He likes me just because I’m a girl,” Junsu said. ”But I’m not. Not really, anyway.”
They were in Yoochun’s workroom and Junsu talked, talked because she needed it and Yoochun was her friend, so he had to lend her a shoulder to lie on. He was on his computer typing answers to fans, something he did when he didn’t want to think too hard. Junsu was sitting on the floor, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees. She looked small and cute - like Junsu!boy would look if he was here instead of
her, and - Yoochun missed him dearly.
“I’m the same,” Junsu snapped, as if she could read his mind. “I’m the same, the fucking same, Yoochun. Don’t take me for what I am not.”
She - he - looked hurt and angry. Yoochun couldn’t tell if she - he - was on the verge of crying or shouting or kicking him in the arm like he did when he was pissed with someone. So Junsu-ish.
“I love you,” he blurted without thinking.
“Great,” she snarled. “Sorry, I don’t think my boobs will last forever.”
Yoochun cringed.
It had been almost two weeks and Junsu!girl was still here, multiplying rumours about her and her supposed cousin, who was now somewhere in Europe in a trip with his twin to take some rest - Junsu liked this excuse better. Yoochun kept avoiding her, she kept avoiding Changmin, and Changmin stuck with Yoochun.
“You know, it’s like I’m in love with someone who doesn’t really exist,” Changmin said softly, his voice muffled against the pillow he was hugging.
Yoochun’s heart clenched.
“But maybe,” Changmin muttered. “Maybe I can love
him.”
“You don’t like guys,” Yoochun pointed out.
Changmin was smirking when he raised his head to have a better view of his bandmate.
“Neither do you, Hyung.”
Yoochun still dreamed of Junsu’s soft hands on his skin, his full lips on his own, his almost inaudible whispers of ‘I love you’, ‘I want you’, ‘Please…’ He woke up in the middle of the night with a major erection, and it was so fucking embarrassing. He sneaked in the bathroom to take a cold shower, but - Junsu’s hips moving against him, his silent gasps, his kisses tracing down his spine... Yoochun came, and hissed, “Fuck, fuck,” his hands clenching into fists he slammed hard against the wall. The door of the bathroom opened and he turned around, eyes wide from shock.
“Yoochun?” Junsu asked.
They were making out when Changmin barged in, eyes half opened and hair strangely mussed on the top of his head.
“Could you be less noisy?” he asked, not giving a damn about the horrified expression his elders wore. “People are trying to sleep there.”
“It won’t work at all,” Yoochun said. “He likes girls.”
He was on the balcony smoking - his second pack of cigarettes of the day - and Jaejoong was here, taking a drag whenever Yunho had his back turned.
“He kissed you,” Jaejoong pointed. “So he has to like guys too… Well, you, at least.”
“It’s just because right now, he’s a girl,” Yoochun muttered. The sentence was strange in his mouth. But what wasn’t strange, what wasn’t crazy, as if some deities in the sky were laughing their asses off while screwing up their lives. If Yoochun didn’t know better, he would think it was a conspiracy.
“No,” Jaejoong said. “It may look like this, but it’s still Junsu. Our Junsu. The one who crushed me at Gran Turismo yesterday, and made Yunho die when he was stupid enough to agree to play soccer with him this morning. Don’t ever forget it, Chunnie. He’s not a girl. Not even in your dreams.”
Maybe talking with Jaejoong had conjured their good fortune. Junsu came back to his original self, after a night of mad drinking and partying in the relative intimacy of their flat. Changmin got drunk again and - Yoochun didn’t want to think about it.
“Is everything in place?” Jaejoong asked. “Little Xiah is here?”
“Present!” Junsu chirped. “I missed him a lot!”
“Good.”
Yunho had this expression of pure relief on his face, and Yoochun was glad he dropped the protectiveness towards Junsu. His encounter with Yunho!bodyguard was still a painful memory.
“Now, Yoochun has things he wants to settle with you,” Jaejoong announced, pushing Yunho and Changmin out of the living-room. “Please finish before lunch, and! No making out on the table.”
Junsu kissed like he meant it, like he didn’t live a real nightmare these past two weeks, like he was in love with Yoochun, even if Yoochun didn’t have breasts or whatever that could make him more feminine and less awkward. Maybe Jaejoong was right, after all; maybe it could work.
“I feel bad for Changmin,” Yoochun couldn’t help but mention.
He couldn’t forget what the youngest confessed to him last night. It was kind of romantic, how a love could bloom from nothing - from the most awful mistake nature could produce, so unimaginable that Yoochun wasn’t sure it really happened, that it was real.
“He only liked the girl in me,” Junsu said.
He was upset, Yoochun could tell - and he knew, he knew everything because Yoochun was conscious of the fact that Junsu would never let someone kiss him, unless he’s the one who wanted it, and Changmin had gained the privilege, somehow. Even if Junsu didn’t want to say it out loud.
“He told me last night that he could try,” Yoochun whispered.
He didn’t know what made him to talk to the behalf of Changmin, but… hell, he was seriously insane. Junsu stayed silent for a while.
“Then,” he grinned, cocking an eyebrow. They were all so freaking insane. “Should we do a threesome?”
Comments are love.
Early Merry Christmas!