{rehab} In which Dean visits Sam.
Sam: [walks into the visiting room. He's clean shaven, his hair growing back in a bit, and looks healthy. They are taking good care of him. He even has been exersizing with a few of the other guys in the gym and learning how to lift weights. He looks around for his brother in the room with all the other patients and their guests]
Dean: [is sitting at one of the tables, absently drumming against the table]
Sam: [sees him and walks over] Hey, miss me? [cheeky grin]
Dean: [looks up and grins] Just wanted to see how you were doing in Kumbaya land.
Sam: [flops down into a chair across from him] Actually doing pretty good. People here actually care about us.
Dean: That's good, Sammy. [finger drumming before reaching to the side] Brought you something.
Sam: [curious look] Did you now?
Dean: [nods and hands over a paper back with a couple copies of "Busty Asian Beauties" in it] Figured it might be helpful.
Sam: [eyes widen and hushed voice] Dude, you can't bring stuff like that in here. There are people in her recovering from sex addictions...
Dean: [smirk] So don't share with them.
Sam: [sighs and looks both ways before sliding it across the table into his lap] So you come all this way just to bring me porn?
Dean: Nah, just wanted to see how you were doing. The porn was a late birthday gift.
Sam: [chuckles] Still looking after my virtue after all these years. Thanks, big brother. But no, I'm actually doing really well. I really wish I could have had this kind of treatment last time
Dean: Good. I'm glad.
Sam: The doctor is even looking into my old college and seeing what I can do to perhaps go back after this is done and maybe at least get a liberal arts degree, or take night classes in a different major.
Dean: Yeah? How much did you have left to finish anyway?
Sam: A year, maybe. And it was mostly my requirements for pre-law. But we both know I won't be able to get into law school with a record, so I'd have to change if I want it to actually be worth something.
Dean: Maybe there's something similar you could do with the same reqs.
Sam: I'm going to look into it. I'm still not sure I want to go back yet, but it's an option. Right now it's nice to be able to see what options I'm going to have after here.
Dean: [nods] That's good Sammy.
Sam: How are things going on the outside?
Dean: Things're good. Cas and Pam are as annoying as ever, things have been pretty quiet as of late. Jo's doin' well with her PT and stuff.
Sam: [nods, smiling a bit] Cas and Pam annoying you with wedding stuff, or just the normal stuff?
Dean: Everything in general.
Sam: Yeah, well that's them. You have to get used to it, or join them.
Dean: [chuckles] You make it sound like a cult.
Sam: Well, it is Cas. [laughs] And Pam has amazing drawing potential.
Dean: The cult of Cas and Pam. [a beat] That is an incredibly scary thought.
Sam: Yeah, but the cookies are amazing. She can just slip some mind altering substance in it and you'll never leave.
Dean: ... That's an even scarier thought.
Sam: [laughs] Yeah. [after a moment] What about you? Cassie still hanging around?
Dean: [soft smile] Yeah, she is. Things are goin' good.
Sam: [sees that smile and it makes him happy] Good. No matter what you think, you deserve it. It's nice seeing you happy like that again.
Dean: [snorts] I don't think Cassie and I were ever all that happy back then.
Sam: No, but you still loved her. Maybe 'back then' just wasn't the right time.
Dean: [shrugs] Maybe.
Sam: [steels himself a bit] And you said Jo's doing well with her therapy?
Dean: Yeah. Really well. She's stubborn, though. It's tough, but she'll pull through.
Sam: Good. That stubbornness is good for something, right?
Dean: Other than being a pain in my ass, yup.
Sam: She still in the hospital or has her mom taken her back home?
Dean: Nah, she's home with Ellen. I still go by every once in a while to help her with the dog.
Sam: Has Ford grown into his paws yet? He was just starting to grow again last time I saw him.
Dean: Little bit, yeah. He misses you, I think. He always seems a little disappointed when I show up.
Sam: [sighs] I miss him too. But eventually he'll forget about me.
Dean: [isn't sure how to respond to that, so he just nods a bit]
Sam: [time for a subject change] Any word on how my recorded testimony worked in the courts?
Dean: Went well. Looks like all of 'em are going away.
Sam: Good. Now I can say I helped clean up the streets of Chicago in one neighborhood. But I can't ever step foot into it again.
Dean: Good plan.
Sam: I'm going to have to invest in a bulletproof vest if I stay in Chicago after this.
Dean: I think you'll be fine.
Sam: You know, I was thinking that maybe if I really want a fresh start, it might be smart to look into moving after my probation is over. You know, start somewhere new where no one knows my name?
Dean: [is not entirely fond of this plan] Like where?
Sam: I dunno. Maybe California.
Dean: [eyebrows go up at that] California's far.
Sam: And you've always wanted an excuse to take long car trips across the country.
Dean: Yeah, but still -- I got a job, Sam. It's not like I can just up and drive out whenever I want to see you.
Sam: [bites his lower lip] Well, if you really want me sticking around, I just thought you might want to have a life without me constantly around all the time.
Dean: Sam. I had the past decade or so without you around all the time. That was enough.
Sam: You missed me that much? [eyebrow raised]
Dean: You're my brother, Sam. Course I did.
Sam: Nice to know. And with me, even under all the drugs, I did miss you. I was just afraid you would hate me.
Dean: Hate what you did to yourself? Yeah. But I don't hate you, Sam. There's a distinct difference.
Sam: I wouldn't have been able to see that. At least then.
Dean: But now?
Sam: It's amazing how much clearer things are when you aren't high and have a little therapy in you.
Dean: [laughs] Tell me about it.
Sam: [chuckles] I still got a long way to go, but I do need this. You were right in that.
Dean: Psh. I'm always right.
Sam: Except when you're not.
Dean: And when has that been?
Sam: Well, most of your off-duty clothing choices for starters [smirk]
Dean: Hey! I have great taste.
Sam: [laughs] you have owned the same three pairs of jeans for almost ten years, Dean.
Dean: And they all look damn good on me. Your point?
Sam: you ever think about trying a pair of khakis on?
Dean: [makes a face]
Sam: I'm surprised you never took up golf.
Dean: Golf is boring.
Sam: But you'd have so much fun with the funny looking pants.
Dean: Shut up.
Sam: You know, you could probably pull argyle off really well.
Dean: Dude.
Sam: [innocent smile]
Dean: Stop.
Sam: Still miss me?
Dean: Barely.
Sam: Just like old times.
Dean: Yeah, just like old times.
Sam: Oh, some of the guys are teaching me how to lift weights. They said it'll help me get rid of the beanpole look.
Dean: [nods] That's good. You need to beef up a bit.
Sam: Apparently exercise like that helps the blood flow better which lessens addiction cravings too.
Dean: Sounds good.
Sam: Though I'm not aiming to look like a steroid freak that you see on those competitions.
Dean: [laughs] I wasn't worried about that.
Sam: Could you imagine me like that with how tall I am? I don't think I'd fit through doors [laughs]
Dean: [grins] Yeah, that would be a little freaky.
Sam: And I don't think the parole officer would take well to me getting a job in a freak show that would take me out of the city.
Dean: No, that wouldn't go over well at all.
Sam: Maybe it'll make me look older than twelve too.
Dean: That'd be a step up.
Sam: Of course, I'll still always act older than you.
Dean: [a look]
Sam: [cheeky grin]
Dean: [shakes his head]
Sam: So they, uh, have this thing about halfway through a patient's stay here in which family members are supposed to come in and have a guided conversation with the user.
Dean: ... Guided conversation? Is this something where we're going to have to talk with "I feel" statements?
Sam: Yeah. You're supposed to confront me on how my addiction has affected you and my therapist will take that and give us constructive steps on how to fix our relationship in a positive way.
Dean: ... Does our relationship need to be fixed?
Sam: I think we have a solid foundation, but obviously i have trust issues I need to work on. [being honest. Therapy is working] And we have communication issues.
Dean: [nods. he sucks at these kinds of conversations, but ... ] If you want me there, I'll be there, Sammy. I can't promise anything else, but I'll be there.
Sam: I do want you there. And I want to make sure that when i get out of here, I'm a better brother. I'm the kind of brother you deserve to have.
Dean: [thinks that Sam was doing just fine, despite everything, but if he needs this, Dean'll play along] Just let me know when.
Sam: I will. My therapist will probably end up giving you the call though. He's a good guy. Not one of those lie on the couch and tell me what you're thinking, but actually just letting you talk and listening
Dean: Okay. I'll keep an eye out for the call.
Sam: Thanks. [slumps a bit in the chair]
Dean: [eyebrow raise at that]
Sam: Just... sometimes I wish I didn't have to be here. I know I need it, but I'm mad at myself for letting you all down.
Dean: Sam, you didn't let us down, alright? And it's better that this happened now, rather than later down the road when it would have hurt more.
Sam: I just wish I had been stronger.
Dean: Well, next time you will be.
Sam: That's what I'm hoping.
Dean: Good.
Sam: So what else is going on?
Dean: *shrugs* Work is work. Nothing really big in the works right now.
Sam: see any good movies?
Dean: Not really.
Sam: Well, I know you haven't read any good books.
Dean: [shrugs] Just been business as usual.
Sam: You need to get a life outside of work.
Dean: Thought that was what Cassie was for.
Sam: Then take the girl out to a damn movie.
Dean: [smirk] We go out to dinner. And movies are always more fun at home.
Sam: And I'm sure there's stuff after that I don't need to know about.
Dean: Ex-actly.
Sam: You're adorable when you're in love.
Dean: Shut up.
Sam: [just laughs]
Dean: [sighs as he looks at his watch] Alright, I gotta go. You good?
Sam: I've got porn. How could I not be?
Dean: Atta boy. [gets up and readjusts his jacket] I'll see you later, Sammy.
Sam: I'm not going anywhere. And let Pam know that she's on the safe list if she wants to bake me more cookies. [yeah, he's a kid. but those cookies are damn good]
Dean: [grin] Will do.
Sam: and... if Jo asks... just tell her I'm doing fine. Not that I expect her to ask, but if she does....
Dean: I will.
Sam: Take care of yourself.
Dean: You too.