woxin crack
I have no excuse and no regrets!
I Am The Very Model Of A Milit'ry Prime Minister (to the tune of The Major-General's Song)
I am the very model of a milit’ry prime minister,
I am brave, wise and kind but I must sometimes be quite sinister,
I know the kings of Wu and Yue, past, present and in future too
But who I like best is Fu Chai and his boy, dear sweet Crown Prince You.
I'm very well-acquainted with all matters politifical,
I understand the ins and outs of field and court; though cynical
About king-making and such stuff, I do it well, it’s plain to see,
And even my old benefactor seldom gets the best of me.
I'm very good at saying what can be construed in many ways
I’m perfect at equivocating with a straight and honest face
In short, I am my king’s right hand (though sometimes slightly sinister)
I am the very model of a milit’ry prime minister.
I know relations with our southern neighbour have been strained at best
I’d much prefer that both our countries should be peaceful and at rest,
It makes for better trade and keeps our people and our coffers fat,
But kings will do what they must do and my job is to see to that!
The satisfaction of my king is my best renumeration
But I will always graciously accept some small consid’ration
For favours done which harm no one (though really, who won’t pity such
A proud man brought so low), and in the long run they won’t matter much.
Then I can draft a treaty which will please both sides, except for he
Whose small suspicious mind is always set, and set at odds with me;
I’ll show I can be generous (but not a little sinister)
I am the very model of a milit’ry prime minister.
In fact, these twenty years were mostly kind as far as I’m concerned
Although there are those who will say our High King should have been forewarned
Of small men like myself (who fought for him a lifetime at his side)
Of flattery and trickery they can’t do and hence can’t abide.
So up to now I have but one regret that I must here record
For history may not be kind to me, who forced him to the sword:
My old friend-enemy, you were right about Gou Jian from the start.
And we have paid the price for underestimating his black heart
For all my planning and my toil eventually has come to nought
And Wu has been brought down without a battle even being fought.
So when I see him I will be contrite, and never sinister;
This last day of my life, still I'm a milit’ry prime minister.
Youtube video of the original, complete with dancing
Optional ending couplet: shave and a hair-cut, two bits (of Bo Pi).
(I'd accompany myself on the piano, but it is all too likely that will be unable to do justice to the music, and will crack up before the end of the first stanza >_<)
it was either this, or today's 31_days prompt, for which all I could think of was Gou Jian and co.'s time in Yue, or young!Helu and younger!WZX plotting murder and mayhem.
I Am The Very Model Of A Milit'ry Prime Minister (to the tune of The Major-General's Song)
I am the very model of a milit’ry prime minister,
I am brave, wise and kind but I must sometimes be quite sinister,
I know the kings of Wu and Yue, past, present and in future too
But who I like best is Fu Chai and his boy, dear sweet Crown Prince You.
I'm very well-acquainted with all matters politifical,
I understand the ins and outs of field and court; though cynical
About king-making and such stuff, I do it well, it’s plain to see,
And even my old benefactor seldom gets the best of me.
I'm very good at saying what can be construed in many ways
I’m perfect at equivocating with a straight and honest face
In short, I am my king’s right hand (though sometimes slightly sinister)
I am the very model of a milit’ry prime minister.
I know relations with our southern neighbour have been strained at best
I’d much prefer that both our countries should be peaceful and at rest,
It makes for better trade and keeps our people and our coffers fat,
But kings will do what they must do and my job is to see to that!
The satisfaction of my king is my best renumeration
But I will always graciously accept some small consid’ration
For favours done which harm no one (though really, who won’t pity such
A proud man brought so low), and in the long run they won’t matter much.
Then I can draft a treaty which will please both sides, except for he
Whose small suspicious mind is always set, and set at odds with me;
I’ll show I can be generous (but not a little sinister)
I am the very model of a milit’ry prime minister.
In fact, these twenty years were mostly kind as far as I’m concerned
Although there are those who will say our High King should have been forewarned
Of small men like myself (who fought for him a lifetime at his side)
Of flattery and trickery they can’t do and hence can’t abide.
So up to now I have but one regret that I must here record
For history may not be kind to me, who forced him to the sword:
My old friend-enemy, you were right about Gou Jian from the start.
And we have paid the price for underestimating his black heart
For all my planning and my toil eventually has come to nought
And Wu has been brought down without a battle even being fought.
So when I see him I will be contrite, and never sinister;
This last day of my life, still I'm a milit’ry prime minister.
Youtube video of the original, complete with dancing
Optional ending couplet: shave and a hair-cut, two bits (of Bo Pi).
(I'd accompany myself on the piano, but it is all too likely that will be unable to do justice to the music, and will crack up before the end of the first stanza >_<)
it was either this, or today's 31_days prompt, for which all I could think of was Gou Jian and co.'s time in Yue, or young!Helu and younger!WZX plotting murder and mayhem.