Fic: On The Road To Somewhere. Liam/Spike. NC-17. 1/3
Title: On The Road To Somewhere 1/3
Author: felisblanco
Fandom: BtVS/AtS
Pairing: Liam/Spike, Liam/Lindsey
Word count: This part a little over 10.000 words
Summary: Au Human. A promising young artist named Liam is on his way to New York to open his first big exhibition when he comes upon Spike, a runaway teen that's stranded with a busted motorbike by the side of the road.
Author's Note: This was written for spring_spangel. The rest will be posted very soon, probably over the weekend or at Monday/Tuesday the latest. The idea for this came to me when reading The Music of Chance by Paul Auster, about a man on a roadtrip who picks up a young hitchhiker.(That's pretty much all these stories have in common) That was two years ago, and the first 7 pages of this have been sitting in my notebook until I finally typed them up last month. And then decided to finish it for spring_spangel. It's now 38 pages and counting. *headdesk* Unbeta'd because I'm late.
[ETA. Forgot to say because I'm tired and a tiny bit drunk and haven't eaten anything since noon and it's now 1 am: Dedicated to hellziggy for being an awesome friend who I keep promising to write stories for and I never deliver. So this one is for you, baby. Hope you like. (Even if it's not Spander. *g*)]
Liam never picked up hitchhikers. Never, ever. He'd heard enough stories of slit throats and traumatized rape victims to take stupid chances like that. Ever.
So why the hell did he find himself slowing down until he came to a stop only a few yards away from the stranded biker?
Maybe because he looked so harmless, like a lost little boy where he stood by his bike, helmet kicked to the side. Maybe because it was obviously not a setup, just an unlucky rider needing help. Maybe because he'd been driving for two days straight and the loneliness was killing him.
Or just maybe it was because, even with just the quick glance he threw the boy as he drove by, he was struck by his looks, the blond hair, his tanned bare arms and his big - and later he discovered, blue - eyes looking up at him with tired hopelessness.
The boy was still standing in the same place, staring after him. Shifting in reverse Liam backed the truck until it was lined up beside the biker. Still wondering what the hell he was doing he rolled down the window and leaned across the passenger seat, raising his eyebrows at the kid.
“Need help?”
Hope sparkled in the boy's eyes and he walked over, smiling. “Yeah. Busted my front tire on a broken bottle. Lucky I didn't smack into a bloody tree or something,” he said, voice sporting a lovely English accent. He glanced over at the bike then inclined his head toward the back of the truck. “Think you can give us a ride to the nearest garage?”
“Can't see why not.”
Liam jumped out and together they hoisted the bike up on the back of the truck. Liam threw the tarp over it since it looked like it might start to rain any moment.
“Thanks, mate. Just gotta get my...” The kid hesitated, shooting a worried glance at the helmet lying at the edge of the woods and then back at the truck, seeming to judge the distance.
Liam chuckled. “Relax. I'm not gonna drive away and leave you stranded.”
The kid gave him an apologetic smile but the suspicious look didn't leave his eyes and he dashed to retrieve the helmet, returning before Liam even had the time to open the car door. Liam couldn't help laughing. Here he was, worrying that the boy might slit his throat and at the same time the kid thought he might steal his bike. Nice world they lived in.
“What?” the kid said, eyeing him with a frown. “What’s so funny?”
Liam chuckled. “Nothing. Get in.”
The boy suddenly hesitated, maybe he'd just remembered some ugly hitchhiker stories of his own. Liam just gave him a friendly smile and slid in behind the wheel, again giving the kid a comforting smile when he climbed in and closed the door warily behind him. Liam pulled out and they drove in silence for a while, the boy nervously fingering the hem of his jacket that he'd lain over his lap.
“So, what's your name?”
The boy had obviously been deep in thought because he jerked into alert and looked up at him, that same wary look back in his eyes, hesitating for a moment before he said, “Spike. You can call me Spike.”
Okay. “Well, Spike, I'm Liam. Nice to meet you. You from England?”
The boy relaxed slightly. “Yeah. Been here a few years though.”
Liam grinned. “Just as well my mother’s not here. She used to tell me you're all arrogant bastards.”
At the blank look on Spike's face he added, “Irish. My mom that is. According to her all my ancestors starved to death because of your ancestors.” Still only getting slow blinks as a response, Liam sighed. “Never mind. She loved Paul McCartney so you can't all be bad.”
Spike snorted. “One thing I can thank The Beatles for then. That and inventing heavy metal.”
Liam frowned. “The Beatles didn't invent heavy metal.”
“Helter Skelter? The world's first heavy metal song?”
Now it was Spike's time to sigh as Liam only continued to frown at him in confusion. “Guess it's true what my mum said about you lot then. Thick as a Mick.”
Liam tried to look indignant but the grin on Spike's face was infectious and he gave up, laughing and shaking his head.
“So where are you headed?” He glanced over and saw the hesitation was back in Spike's eyes so he quickly added, “Not that it's any of my business.”
“No, it's all right. It's just... I'm not sure. Just wanted to get away, you know?”
Liam nodded. That was something he did very well know. “Yeah, been there, done that.” He glanced at the boy again. “Didn't help though.”
Spike started to pluck at the hem of his jacket again, avoiding Liam's curious eyes. “No?”
“Not really. I may have left the problem behind for a while, but it never left me. Stuck in my head no matter how far I drove. Eating at my soul like cancer,” he added, more to himself than at Spike, then cringed when he realised what he’d said. Always with the melodrama, he was, like a teenage emo girl.
“That bad?” Spike eyed him curiously then blushed and looked away. “Sorry, mate. None of my business.”
Liam shook his head. “Nah, it's alright. It's just... I don't usually talk about myself this much. Or at all really” He laughed softly. “Watch out or you'll have me lying in your lap, telling you my life story.”
Spike’s eyes widened slightly and Liam mentally kicked himself. “I think I'll shut up now.”
Spike shifted, biting his lip as he seemed to contemplate the situation. Finally he lifted his head and looked straight at Liam. “If you want to talk, it’s all right. Mum always said I was a good listener.”
He smiled but it was a sad and pained smile and it made Liam wonder what really had happened to leave the boy stranded in the middle of nowhere with nothing but the bike and the clothes he wore.
“Besides it'd be a relief focusing on someone else’s problems for a while. But if you don’t want to...” Spike shrugged. “Just thought I’d offer. Makes the time go by faster.”
It surprised Liam how tempted he was by the offer. It was true what he'd told Spike. He never talked about himself. Never talked really much at all. Growing up his silent nature had earned him the nickname Broodypants, which had changed gradually to Mr. Broody as he got older. It stuck to him well enough that by the time he got to college most of his fellow students had taken it for his real name since he never really bothered to correct them.
But being alone for so long was having its effect on him and suddenly the need to talk, to just put it all out there, whether to be judged or accepted... it was overwhelming. Liam pursed his lips and flexed his fingers slightly on the steering wheel. He’d been tightening his hold without noticing it and his knuckles creaked in relief as they were made to relax.
“Are you sure? I mean, any time you get bored just tell me to shut up. I promise I won't mind.”
Spike chuckled. “Mate, if I get bored I'm more likely to fall asleep. Comfy car you've got.”
Liam looked over at him. The boy did look tired. His face was pale under the tan, his eyes rimmed red, from exhaustion or crying he couldn't tell. This was getting more and more intriguing. Most of all he wanted to hear Spike's life story but he had a feeling that would proof hard to get. Funny thing was, the kid reminded him of himself in some ways. Not his broody self, the kid didn't look the type, although his pouty lips had probably expressed their share of sulking. It was more that lost look in his eyes that spoke of hopelessness and sorrow, something he knew only too well himself.
The kid was watching him now, smiling reassuringly and he seemed to be genuinely interested. Liam hesitated, the prospect of finally talking about all the things that had happened to him almost frightening. But not nearly as frightening as it would have been talking to someone he knew. He guessed it was true what they say, that talking to strangers was easier because even if they judge you it doesn’t hurt as much as being judged by your friends or family.
He flexed his fingers again, watching them tighten and his knuckles whiten as they instantly resumed their tight grip on the wheel. Maybe he was making a mistake. Maybe he should just laugh it off, say he was only joking. Maybe he should…
“You said you wanted to get away,” he started, surprising himself. “Four years ago that was all I wanted to do. I felt stuck in a life I didn't want, a job I hated, a relationship that was suffocating me and a body that kept betraying me.”
He felt Spike's eyes resting on him but he stared straight ahead, at the road winding endlessly before them.
“After I got my degree in corporate law, graduating top of my class just like my father had wanted me to, I joined his firm. I quickly worked my way up, snatching more and more important cases. Not by connections, my father would never grant me special favours. In fact he did his best to keep me down, but his partners overruled him. So there I was, taking from the poor and giving more to the rich. Which is more or less what corporate lawyers do, at least at my father's firm.” He twisted his lips into a frown of distaste. “Anyway, wanting to strengthen the bonds with one of the potential partners a pact was made and I was ordered to date Mr. Summers’ daughter. Just like that. Modern prostitution in its finest form.” Again he felt Spike's eyes on him but he couldn't meet them.
“I should have said no. This is after all not the 19th century, people don't do these things anymore, or so I thought. But instead I asked her out and within a year we were engaged. She was a lovely girl. Beautiful, blond, vibrant and witty. Only problem was...” He paused then turned his gaze on Spike. “... she was a girl.”
He waited for the look of shock or the frown of disgust but neither came. Spike just nodded and waited for him to continue. Liam let lose a breath he hadn't realised he was holding, his shoulders and arms relaxing, and he allowed himself a small smile before continuing.
“So yes, I felt stuck. I hated my job even if I was good at it. I wanted to be a painter, you know. At school I was considered quite the prodigy, but my father wouldn't hear of it. That wasn't a career, he said, it was a hobby for queers. Mind you, at that time I of course hadn't told him I was one. But I knew, had always known ever since my classmates started talking about girls and boobs and trying to catch a sight of them naked and I realised I'd much rather the guys would take off their own clothes.” He chuckled. “Could be quite embarrassing, I tell you, showering with a bunch of high school jocks and trying to hide the effect they were having on me. Don't think anyone noticed but I was terrified they might find out. Comparing sizes was much more fun for me though, I guess.”
Spike snorted beside him and Liam looked over in surprise. The grin on the boy's face was not what he'd expected but it filled him with a sweet warmth that had him smiling back. Then his face sobered when he remembered the next part of the story.
“But I was a coward. I was 21 and I had yet to come out. Every now and then I went to gay bars, more to be able to be myself than to pick up guys. Even if that did happen on a few occasions it was never anything serious, just a way to relief tension and… well, have some decent sex.”
Spike snorted again and Liam wanted to hug him.
“After I started dating Buffy...” The choked laughter had him rolling his eyes. “Yeah, I know. How do people come up with these names?” He smirked and added, “Spike.”
Spike laughed, an open and happy laugh that made Liam's heart jump. Then the kid stuck out his tongue at him in such a childish way that for a second Liam wondered how old he really was. And what a lovely tongue he had but that thought he suppressed quickly, turning to stare at the road ahead instead. After a few moments he continued his story, hoping it would kill whatever was starting to stir within him.
“Anyway, Buffy. I kept faithful while dating her even if I knew being with her was wrong on so many levels. But I’m not a cheater. Or I thought I wasn’t. Until Lindsey came along.”
His knuckles whitened again on the wheel and he felt Spike shift beside him, as if he was preparing himself for whatever was to come.
“Lindsey MacDonald was this hot young lawyer from LA. Dad brought him over to help out with a criminal case that came up with one of our clients. I won’t go into details but it involved some young girls and some very sick old men.” His face turned grim as he remembered the report. “I wanted us to stay out of it, let some other firm dirty their hands with it, but of course my father wouldn’t listen. We just needed someone competent to handle it, he said. Someone who could keep this important client out of jail and his money with our firm. Didn’t matter that the man was clearly guilty, that he was responsible for destroying these girls’ lives in the most horrible way. All that mattered was his money.”
He paused, the disgust once again overwhelming him. He knew every man had a right to the best possible defence, no matter how guilty he was. But men like that brought out the worst in him, making him long for a shotgun and a shovel and a drive into the desert in the dark, bodybag in the trunk. Finally he shook it off, and gave Spike a tired smile before continuing. Nothing he could do about it anyway.
“So there I was, working late at the office, basically using any excuse not to be with Buffy, and in walks this Texan. Shoulder length hair, killer smile, accent smooth as silk. Wearing jeans and a plaid shirt, cowboy boots and a Stetson hat planted far back on his head. Just got in from the airport, he said, and did I know where he was supposed to be staying? I stared at him, blushing like a teenager and my heart started racing. The guy practically oozed sex, like he was a walking hard-on.”
Liam laughed, embarrassed. “You know that old gaydar myth? Well, I’ve never really had that so I had no idea if he was gay or straight but the way he talked and moved, the way he kept looking up at me through his long eyelashes, how his fingers lingered just a little too long as we shook hands... All those tiny things that probably meant nothing and still they made me weak in the knees and I knew I was falling. Hard.”
Liam glanced over at Spike, again looking for that awkward and uncomfortable squirm that would tell him he was going too far. But Spike sat relaxed, tilting his head a little as he observed Liam with interest. Relieved Liam turned his eyes back on the road.
“Anyway, I took him to his hotel and when he asked me if I knew of a good place to get a drink I jumped at the opportunity. We ended up at this quiet bar, soft blues playing through a cloud of smoke. We talked about music and from there we went on to art and I told him all about my dreams of becoming a painter. It felt incredible, like I’d finally found my soulmate. It got later and we got drunker and before I knew what was happening I was on my knees in the restroom.”
He stopped short, his face heating up. Despite the boy’s tolerance so far, that was probably way more than he wanted to hear.
“It’s alright. I really don’t mind.”
Spike’s voice startled him after only hearing his own for so long and Liam glanced over at him, surprised. The blue eyes looking back at him were open and honest, if a little mischievous, as if he knew Liam had gotten carried away with his own story and thus revealed things he probably never intended, and it amused him.
“You won’t shock me, mate. I know I’m young but I’m hardly a virgin.” Spike chuckled, as Liam blushed even further. “Don’t be shy. Hey, maybe I can even learn a thing or two,” he added with a wink.
Liam blinked as wild and highly inappropriate images flashed through his head. He wasn’t sure what to think. His gaydar really did suck and he had no idea if the kid meant it or if he was just trying to be supportive in his own odd and, possibly unaware, suggestive way. In the end he decided to shrug it off. He knew nothing about this kid, not even if he was of legal age, and any kind of approach could scare him off, and possibly land his own ass in jail. And he wasn’t looking for a hook-up, not now, not really. The kid was pretty though, that couldn’t be denied. Positively beautiful. And there was something about him that made Liam feel… But no. Better not go there.
“Still, to spare you the details, that night I became a cheater. And every single night after that for the next month.”
Liam bit his lip, the guilt still as strong. Buffy hadn’t deserved being treated like that. It wasn’t her fault, any of it. She just got caught in their parents’ ploy, unaware of its purpose, just happy and blindingly in love with a guy that felt nothing for her. He wondered if she had ever been told the truth. Somehow he doubted it.
Spike was watching him but when Liam glanced his way there was no contempt in his eyes, just curiosity, and Liam breathed out.
“Lindsey was like a drug, like crack or cocaine, and I was totally addicted. I just couldn’t get enough. During office hours we stole kisses and touches, every chance we got. Blowjobs in the staircase, once even fucked in the underground carpark.” Liam shivered, lost in the memory. “I burned for him, literally feeling fire in my veins just by looking at him. And he… He was like the Devil. Constantly tempting me, teasing me. Driving me completely insane with lust. He would sit at meetings, looking my father straight in the eye while his hand was in my lap under the table, stroking me.”
Spike shifted beside him but Liam kept his eyes on the road, his voice unsteady. “We were playing with fire and I didn’t care because he didn’t care and I would have done anything for him. Every elevator ride was like a trip to Heaven, every moment in other’s company like Hell. He’d smile and laugh with Buffy, then as soon as she turned her back he’d pinch me hard in the ass or squeeze my constant erection. I had to wear the tightest underwear, so everyone in the office wouldn’t see my hard-on. God, I had never been so happy and at the same time never felt so scared in my whole life. I never wanted it to end and at the same time I felt that one more second of this torture would kill me.”
He stopped and for a few minutes they drove in silence. It had started to rain and the wind was lashing against the rooftop, running in rivers down the windows. It seemed fitting, like God was providing him with a soundtrack to match his story. He wouldn’t be the least surprised if any minute now, lightning crossed the sky, rolling ominous thunder their way.
Just then it did and Spike jumped beside him, fingers grabbing for the door handle as he stared startled up at the sky. How Hollywood, Liam thought wryly and threw the kid a reassuring smile. Spike swallowed but smiled back, his fingers slowly unclenching and he let his hands rest in his lap, unconsciously turning a silver ring on his thumb.
“And then?” he finally asked and Liam recognised it for the plea it was. If the kid needed a distraction Liam would happily provide him with one. Even if what was coming up next still made him hurt more than he’d imagined possible.
“And then we got caught.” He gave a short laugh. “Of course we did. You can’t be that reckless and get away with it. Not for long anyway. It was one of the security guys at the firm. Handed my father a video tape and everything.”
He felt Spike flinch in sympathy but again he kept his eyes on the road.
“The old man was furious. Called me to his office and raged over me like a madman. Told me what a disgusting pervert I was, how much he despised me and that I was not worthy of his precious name. Told me I was to stop immediately or he would beat the crap out of me. Then he sat down, cold and business like, and told me that the only thing to do now was to hurry up with the wedding. And if I ever mentioned any of this to Buffy or her father he would disown me. I could forget any money I thought was coming my way if I didn’t do as he said.”
Liam shook his head. It still baffled him, that particular part of the whole thing. “I just stared at him. I knew he would be furious but I never expected him to say the wedding was still on. His arrogance struck that tiny cord of courage I had deep inside me and I told him there would be no wedding. I was gay, had always been gay and I’d finally found love.” He swallowed. “My father laughed at me and then he spat in my face.”
Again Spike flinched and Liam could feel his face pale in remembrance of the blatant hatred he’d never expected to see in his own father’s eyes. “I stared at him in shock as his spittle ran down my cheek. He told me to leave and never ever contact him again. I was still staring at him when the security guards came to throw me out. He ignored me, shuffling pages on his desk as they dragged me out of his office, yelling for him to please don’t do this, please hear me out. I was his son, his only son, didn’t that mean anything to him?”
His voice broke briefly and when he continued it was hoarse and shaky. “Once out in the street I panicked as what had happened finally sunk in and I called Lindsey, absolutely frantic. He didn’t answer. I kept trying to call him for the next two days but he never picked up. He had checked out of his hotel room and no one seemed to know where he was. I was going insane with worry, to the point that I was convinced that my father had done something horrible, maybe even had him killed.” He laughed bitterly. “And that’s when I saw the news in the local paper. My father had given Lindsey my job and what’s more, he was the new junior partner of the firm. There was a picture of the two of them shaking hands, smiling like best buds.”
Liam took a deep breath, trying his best to steady his voice. “I don’t know how or why. I don’t know if he blackmailed his way in somehow or if this was my father’s way of humiliating me even further. I didn’t really care, I just… I wanted to die. Instead I got drunk and cried myself to sleep. The next day I got in my car and drove away.”
They sat in silence for a long time, Liam lost in his memories, Spike staring out of the window.
Finally Liam coughed and cleared his throat. “So that’s my life story, more or less. I went back two years later when my father died. I couldn’t grief for him but I mourned the father I wished he’d been. Lindsey was at the funeral, a pregnant Buffy on his arm. Neither of them even looked at me. The will left me nothing but I already knew that. The next day I left again and I never looked back.”
He drummed his fingers on the wheel and glanced at the boy. He seemed deep in thought, biting his lower lip and running his fingers along the dashboard.
“So, did I bore you yet?”
“No.” Spike shifted in his seat, blinking with a furrow brow before looking up at him, anxious. “Then what? I mean, what the hell happened? What did you do?”
“Do?”
“Yeah. Like… Are you still a lawyer?”
Liam nodded. “By degree, yes. But I don’t practice anymore. In fact I paint.” He smiled at Spike’s shocked look. “Yep, I went from wealthy lawyer to dirt poor artist in no time. It was a struggle but I’m finally doing what I wanted and I love it. And in the end it paid off. I have an exhibition in New York next week. That’s where I’m headed, to set it up. Who’d had thought, huh?”
“I would,” said Spike quietly after a moment’s silence. “I think you look like the kind of man who could do anything he set his mind to.”
Liam blushed. “I wouldn’t say that. Haven’t had a single relationship in those four years.” He shrugged. “Sometimes I think he might have ruined me for life.”
“No! Don’t bloody well say that!”
Liam looked startled over at Spike’s flushed face.
“I mean, that’s not how a story should end. You meet obstacles, you overcome them. You have your heart broken only to find something better. There’s supposed to be a happy ever after.”
“You know life doesn’t work that way.”
“Well, it bloody well should!” Spike slammed his fist angrily down on the dashboard. “What the fuck is the point otherwise?”
Liam frowned. The kid was trembling, his lips twitching with suppressed emotions.
“Hey, calm down. Are you alright?”
Spike didn’t answer, just turned his head and stared out into the dark and rainy night. He looked impossibly young and again Liam wondered what had driven this kid out on the road, what he was running from. He had thought that maybe it was an abusive home but Spike’s reaction to his story had him wondering if maybe it was something else altogether.
He allowed the kid his space for a while, driving steadily along the highway. They would need to stop soon. He’d been driving for two days, only stopping for food and gas, and a short night’s sleep in a motel. It was starting to take its toll, he felt exhausted. Trouble was he didn’t know what to do about the kid. He was running low on cash himself but from the look of things the kid was even worse off. Question was how he would take Liam offering to pay for a room for him, especially considering the mood he was in now. He didn’t want the kid running off into the night in a huff, especially in this weather, but if they drove on much longer he was in danger of falling asleep at the wheel. After a moment’s hesitation he cleared his throat and glanced over at Spike who was still sitting eerily still, staring out into the dark.
“Listen, I don’t know about you but I’m beat. What do you say we find a motel?”
He could practically feel the air in the car sizzle with electricity. Looking over at Spike again he saw the kid had gone rigid, pulse beating frantically at his throat, and too late Liam realised what he’d said. Crap.
“I’ll spring for a single for you,” he added as if it was an afterthought, voice calm and casual. “If you’re short on cash, I mean. It’s okay. Least I can do for making you listen to my life story without yawning even once.”
Spike looked over at him warily, blinking as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard right. Then he visibly relaxed and even offered a small smile, seeming slightly embarrassed. “Thank you. I’ll pay you back, I promise. Somehow. I mean…”
“Don’t worry about it.” He gave Spike a quick smile and then turned back to the road, gazing through the dark in search of a motel sign. It came about fifteen minutes later and he turned off the highway, coming to a stop in front of the reception.
“You can wait in the car if you like. No use both of us getting wet,” he said and looked over at Spike.
The kid was fast asleep, face mashed up against the window. The green neon light of the vacancy sign cast an almost ghoulish colour over his skin, making his closed eyes look hollow and dark. Liam gazed at him for a long time, taking in what he’d only allowed himself to glance at until now.
There was no denying it, the boy was eerily pretty. Even pale and worn out he had features that bore the definition of beauty. High cheekbones, full lips and those startling blue eyes that were now hiding behind the thin eyelids. He could see them moving rapidly underneath, caught in a dream he hoped was pleasant but somehow he doubted it. The boy’s soft whimper seemed to confirm this and Liam reached out to shake him awake. Instead he found his fingers slipping across the boy’s neck, soothingly stroking him calm. His hair was slicked back, slightly flat from the helmet, but the natural curls had proven too strong at the neck where they swirled, soft like silk. Liam had a sudden vision of how the boy would look, just fucked and sleepy, hair mussed and tangled. He shivered and drew his hand back, closing his eyes for a brief moment before quietly getting out of the car.
He got them two singles. Even if Spike hadn’t shown such obvious discomfort at the prospect of sharing a room with him, Liam would have gotten him a separate room anyway. Truth was he didn’t trust himself around this boy. This boy, who for all he knew was a runaway teenager, under-aged and fragile as hell. Who knew what he’d been through to make him leave his home with no belongings except his bike? Liam wasn’t going to take advantage of that, no matter how tempted he was. He laughed quietly to himself, the absurdity of his thoughts suddenly hitting him. He didn’t even know if the kid was gay, for Christ’s sake! Way to jump the gun, Liam. Keep your thoughts to yourself and your dick in your pants.
He ran through the rain and jumped into the car, accidentally waking Spike up as he slammed the door shut a little too hard. The kid jumped up, blinking nervously as he looked around, taking in his surroundings.
“Our rooms are just over there,” Liam said and started the car, driving it over to the far end of the parking lot. He handed Spike one key and then grabbed his duffle bag from the back seat. “I think we better run.”
They dashed through the pouring rain, already drenched through when they reached the patio and ducked under the overhanging roof.
“Bloody hell!” Spike gasped and shook his head, drops flying everywhere.
“You can say that again,” Liam panted as he wiped the rain from his face.
“Bloody hell!” Spike repeated even louder, and then started laughing, looking down at his soaking clothes. “I look like a drowned rat!” He glanced up at Liam and laughed even harder. “And you’re even worse. I hope you’ve got some dry clothes in that bag of yours or you’re gonna be cranky as hell tomorrow.”
“Actually I do.” Liam gave him a thoughtful look. “You don’t though, right? Want to borrow something?”
“What, of yours?” Spike gave him an incredulous look. “No offence, mate, but you’re a bloody giant. I can’t really see anything fitting me.”
“I’m not a giant,” Liam said with a frown. “You’re the short one.”
“I’m not short!” Spike punched him lightly on the arm and huffed indignantly but his eyes were still smiling. “Just for that I’m not gonna share any of my gum with you.” He drew a soggy packet of Wrigley’s from his pants and shoved a plate into his mouth. “It’s good gum too,” he added with a smirk, his jaws working furiously.
With a growl in his stomach Liam realised they hadn’t eaten anything… well, him since noon and Spike since God knew when. There was a diner on the far side of the parking lot and he eyed it hungrily. Running over there meant getting even more wet but he figured it was better doing it now before they changed into dry clothes. Who knew if and when it would stop raining?
“What do you say we get something to eat? You hungry?”
The smile slipped from Spike’s face. “I don’t really have any…”
“My treat,” Liam quickly said.
Spike seemed to withdraw as he eyed Liam suspiciously. “Why?”
Liam frowned. “Why what?”
“Why are you being so nice?” Spike took a step back, glancing quickly around as if he was making sure he had an escape. “What’s in it for you?”
“Nothing! I’m just… What are you talking about?”
“This.” Spike swept his arm across the patio as if to indicate some invisible line-up of offences. “You paying for my room, buying me food. Offering me your bloody clothes.” He took another step back, his voice wary. “I don’t… I’m not for sale, if that’s what you thought. I know I look the part. Been told so many times. But I don’t do that. No. Not even for nice blokes like you.”
Liam blinked. “You thought… No! I’m not… I don’t expect… Jesus! No!” He ran one hand tiredly through his wet hair. “Listen, just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I jump every guy I meet, ok? And I never, never, expected you to pay me back. Especially not like that.”
Spike gazed at him for a moment then nodded. “Alright. Sorry.”
“I’d say it’s okay but seriously, what the hell?”
The kid blushed and ducked his head. “It’s just… Wouldn’t be the first time, you know? It happens that men…” He shrugged, his face looking suddenly pale in the moonlight. “I just wanted to make sure we were clear.”
“Crystal.”
He hadn’t meant to make his voice so icy but he was shaken and the way the boy flinched at his tone only upset him further. He knew it was partly because he felt guilty for his fleeting thoughts earlier, about how it would feel to taste this kid, to feel his skin under his fingers. It had been wrong and maybe the boy had picked up on some of it, maybe that was why he thought…
Liam took a deep breath and gave the boy an apologetic smile. “Listen, Spike. I don’t know… I mean…” He sighed and tried again. “I’m sorry if I gave you any reason to think that. It never even crossed my mind that you might....” He blushed and hoped it wasn’t too obvious in the pale moonlight. “I mean, you’re a good looking kid and I like you, but that’s it. I never meant to make you feel that you had to… You’re just a kid for Christ sake!”
Spike shook his head in irritation. “Stop saying that. I’m not a bloody kid! I’m nineteen, mate. How ancient are you?”
“I’m not ancient! I’m twenty five…” He paused, frowning. “Twenty six. I’m twenty six.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Which is it?”
“Twenty six.” Liam laughed softly to himself. “Guess the days caught up with me. I turned twenty six yesterday, I just forgot.”
Spike stared at him and then his face broke into the most glorious smile Liam could remember ever seeing. “Well, then. Guess we better celebrate!” He punched Liam lightly on the arm, his earlier mood seeming completely vanished and Liam felt slightly dazed at the change of atmosphere. “I’ll even let you buy me beer.”
“Yeah, right. You’re not twenty one, in fact you look closer to fifteen. I’m not gonna get arrested for providing alcohol to a minor.”
“So then you’ll just buy some and we take it back to the motel.” Spike grinned and quirked his eyebrow at him. “It’s your birthday, mate. Don’t be a party pooper.”
Liam glared at him but he could feel his resolve wavering. Hadn’t he been drinking himself by the age of seventeen? He never had any trouble with his mates in college drinking, or even high school, as long as they didn’t throw up on him or set his books on fire. A couple of beers wouldn’t hurt. And Spike was right, they should celebrate. He hadn’t had anyone to celebrate his birthday with for years. It would be nice.
“Ok, how about I go see if they can fix us something to take with us so we don’t have to sit there in our wet clothes? You go have a shower and change…” He opened his bag and ruffled through it, finally coming up with a pair of sweats and a more or less clean t-shirt. “Here. I’ll knock on your door when I’m ready.”
“Excellent. Oh, you’re not a health freak, right? Burger and chips, that’s the thing, yeah?”
He’d been hoping for something a little lighter but what the hell. “What do you take me for? Burger and… chips coming right up.”
Spike grinned and tugged the clothes under his arm. As he was about to unlock his door he glanced over his shoulder and said, “That’s French fries, you know? Not crisps. Although I wouldn’t mind some of those either.”
Liam blinked. Huh. “Of course.” What the hell were crisps?
Spike gave him another smile as he disappeared through the door and Liam smiled back before opening his own door, shoving the duffel bag inside. Bracing himself against the weather he squared his shoulders and then ran as fast as he could across the parking lot.
By the time he was back and had changed his clothes and towel dried his hair, the food was getting cold and he hurried over to the next room, knocking on the door. There was no answer but the door was unlocked so he let himself in. He could hear the water running in the bathroom and for a moment he contemplated turning around and waiting in his own room until he was sure Spike was done. Just then the water was turned off and the rustle of the shower curtain being pushed aside had him pinned to the spot.
“Erm… it’s just me,” he called out after knocking again on the door. “I can come back if you want?”
“Nah, I’ll be out in a minute.”
Liam nodded then realised Spike couldn’t see him and called an “Ok!” before placing the food on the small table and looking around. Spike’s wet clothes were laid out on the small chair, the dry clothes Liam had lent him lying on the bed. Which meant…
“Sorry. Been a while since I’ve had a good shower. Forgot the time.”
Liam looked up, his eyes glazing slightly over as he took in the sight before him.
The kid might be young but there was nothing juvenile about the body standing in front of him, clad in nothing but a thin white towel. The chest was pale in comparison to his tanned arms, youth-soft skin stretched over taunt muscles. Whatever suspicions he had had about Spike’s home situation there seemed to be no evidence of abuse, in fact he couldn’t recall ever seeing more perfect skin. There were still drops of water clinging to Spike’s hair, which was all wildly curled now, and as Liam watched a couple of drops fell to Spike’s shoulders, sliding down his chest and disappearing under his towel. Liam slowly raised his eyes again just in time to catch the wary look in Spike’s eyes as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared back in defiance.
“What?”
Liam blushed and quickly looked away. “Nothing.”
“Right.” Spike snatched up his clothes and disappeared back into the bathroom, shutting the door hard behind him.
Crap.
Liam busied himself laying out the food while he waited for Spike to return from the bathroom. He was just popping the caps of two of the bottles of beer when the door opened cautiously again and Spike stepped out. The sweats hang low on his hips, too long trouser legs pooling over his feet. The t-shirt was blue and brought out the colour of his eyes more clearly, efficiently taking the focus away from how big it was on him. His hair was once again slicked back and Liam fought the urge to walk over and ruffle it with his fingers. Because that would surely make Spike relax and not bolt out of here like a scared rabbit, he thought wryly. He better get himself under control. Wouldn’t do to scare the kid even further.
“Hey. Not too bad.” At Spike’s wary look he indicated the clothes and gave what he hoped looked like a relaxed grin. “Told you I wasn’t a giant.”
Spike glanced down at his attire and then looked up, chuckling. “Yeah, right. I look like a little kid, mate. Which I’m not,” he emphasized, eyeing the beer. “That one for me?”
“Help yourself.” Liam purposefully kept his eyes on the food and away from Spike as he lifted the bottle to his lips and gulped down half of its content. “Food’s getting cold. Dig in.”
Spike pushed the wet clothes off the chair and sat down opposite Liam by the table, picking up his burger and biting into it with a moan. “’S good,” he mumbled with bits of bread and meat between his teeth, and took another gulp from the bottle. “’M starving.”
Liam was on the verge of telling him not to talk with his mouth full and slow down with the drinking but Spike was right. He wasn’t a kid and more importantly, Liam wasn’t his parent.
“Good.” He picked up the plastic utensils and was just about to start working on his own burger when he caught Spike rolling his eyes. “What?”
“Nothing.” Spike smirked and popped a couple of fries into his mouth, then licked his fingers.
Liam frowned, first at him and then down at the knife and fork in his hands. He put them aside and grabbed the burger, taking a big bite. Lettuce and a slice of tomato fell down into the container and he felt something wet splatter on his t-shirt. Ketchup. Oh, that’s just…He growled and grabbed a bunch of napkins, ignoring the muffled giggling coming from the other side of the table. When he looked up Spike was chewing enthusiastically, blinking at him with an innocent look in his eyes that wouldn’t have fooled anyone.
“Need some help?”
“Shut up.”
Spike laughed and then he took a paper napkin and reached across the table, wiping at the corner of Liam’s mouth. “Such elegance. Did any of that go where it was supposed to?”
Liam was caught between swiping at his hand and leaning into the touch. “You’re one to talk.” He tapped his chin and nodded toward Spike. “Got a little something there.”
Spike frowned and licked around his mouth, stretching his tongue obscenely far in order to reach the right spot. “Gone?”
“Uhuh,” Liam managed with a nod and grabbed his beer, gulping half of it down. What the hell was wrong with him? They were just eating, for God’s sake. This was not 9 ½ weeks and Spike was definitely not Kim Basinger.
The rest of the meal went by in silence and by the time Liam wiped the last trace of ketchup and salt from his lips they were both finishing their second beer. He felt full and relaxed and would have been satisfied to head back to his room and climb into bed for a good night’s sleep. But the moment he sat back in his chair and was about to thank Spike for a nice day, Spike jumped up and finished his beer before grabbing another.
“Let’s see what’s on telly, eh?” He walked over to the bed and grabbed the remote before throwing himself down, turning on the television.
“Er… sure.”
Liam got up slowly and walked over. Spike scooted over to give him room but they would still have to sit practically glued together, and Liam shifted his eyes to the chair by the table and then back again. “Maybe I should..”
“Don’t be daft. Oh look, Snatch. Yeah. Love that bloke.”
Liam balanced awkwardly on the edge of the bed, trying to keep some distance between them. He peered at the screen. “Who? Brad Pitt? Well, I guess he’s…”
“Vinnie Jones, mate! Don’t you know Vinnie Jones?” Spike elbowed him playfully and Liam managed a brief flail before promptly sliding off the bed and falling less than gracefully on his ass. Ow!
“Whoa, you alright?”
Spike peered at him over the edge of the bed, seeming more startled than amused, his face tense until Liam groaned and shot him a scowl. “You threw me off the bed!” he huffed and got slowly to his feet, rubbing his backside.
“No, I didn’t.” Spike grinned and scooted back to his side, leaving even more space for Liam this time. “Your own bloody fault for sitting on the edge like that.”
“Maybe I should just get the chair…”
“You know, I’m not contagious.” The boy looked actually hurt for a moment before covering it up with a smirk. “Of course you’ve got a big bum so I guess you need your space.”
“I do not have a big…!” Liam gritted his teeth. “Fine.” He sat down again, close enough to the middle that Spike was now the one in danger of falling off, and crossed his arms on his chest. “What’s this we’re watching again?”
“Snatch. Not as good as Lock, Stock but it’s alright.” Spike scooted closer and took another sip off his beer before pointing it at the TV. “And that one’s Vinnie Jones. Great football player.”
“Huh. What is he? Quarterback?”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Not American football, you twit. Real football, which you actually play with your feet.”
Liam blinked and then he got it. “Ah. Soccer.”
That earned him another roll of eyes and an indignant huff. “Football!”
“Soccer.” Liam smirked when Spike shot him a glare.
“Shut up and watch the bloody thing, will you?” He shifted and then muttered under his breath, “Football. It’s bloody football, you stupid Americans fucking up our language.”
“I can hear you, you know.”
“Hmph.”
They watched in silence for a while, Spike sipping his beer with an air of irritation and Liam trying his hardest not to laugh as he gulped his own down. Finally he stretched out to retrieve the bag of chips from the floor, opened it and offered to Spike. “Want some ‘crisps’?”
Spike glared at him but then his face softened and he smiled. “Yeah, alright. Thanks.” He grabbed a handful from the bag and proceeded to stuff them into his mouth. Then laughed at something on the screen, spreading bits of chips all over himself without even noticing.
Liam grinned and ate a couple himself, having more fun watching Spike than paying any real attention to the movie. He was starting to feel pleasantly buzzed, like something furry was sitting on his forehead, numbing his nose. He put the empty bottle on the floor and rubbed at his face absently, sighing in content. Spike threw him a smile and emptied his bottle as well before sliding lower on the bed, one hand propped under his head.
“This is life, yeah?”
“Mmmm…” Liam agreed with a nod. “’S not bad.”
Spike was warm and so damn tantalising by his side that Liam closed his eyes, forcing himself to breathe slowly. It worked, to the point that he could feel himself drifting off, his body going slack and he shifted further down on the bed, trying to get more comfortable.
“Thanks. You know, for everything.”
He could feel Spike turning his head, breathing into his neck and grunted something that could be construed as ‘You’re welcome’.
“And for not asking,” Spike continued, the sound of him swallowing making Liam’s stomach tighten. “I mean, I know you must have been wondering what I was doing there, all by myself, with no money or anything.”
Liam opened one eye. “None of my business.”
He turned his head and stared straight into Spike’s blue eyes that were watching him warily. Oh wow, he had really pretty eyes.
“Uh, unless you want to talk?” Liam offered hesitantly. Truth was he really did want to know, and he’d only been able to keep his curiosity to himself because he was afraid of scaring the kid off.
Spike blinked slowly, his pupils widening, making his eyes darken and Liam could feel his heart speeding up, the urge to lick his lips overwhelming. Were they going to…?
Spike flopped back down on his back and stared up at the ceiling. He sucked his lower lip in between his teeth and then let it go with a snap, puckering his lips thoughtfully. Liam swallowed and forced himself to close his eyes again. So no kissing this time. Damn. Despite the hard-on growing in his pants he started to drift off again as the silence stretched out, so when Spike finally spoke he jumped slightly in surprise.
“It’s not what you probably think. My dad doesn’t smack me around, my mum’s not a drunk. Nothing like that. In fact, they’re not even here.”
Spike shifted, pulling one knee up then laying his leg flat down again on the bed before crossing his feet at the ankles, fidgeting as if he wasn’t sure how to be. “My mum died some years ago,” he said. “Breast cancer. My dad… He didn’t handle it very well. Didn’t know how to handle me either. I wasn’t the easiest to be around. Not after…” He sighed. “Guess I was a bloody nuisance. Got into fights, even arrested a couple of times. Did… did drugs.”
Liam stayed silent, eyes still closed since every time he tried to open them the room started spinning. In the background the TV was blaring. It had changed into a rerun of some old sitcom and the tincan laughter made him cringe.
“Just weed at first and some e but then someone offered me a snort of cocaine and…” Spike shifted again and Liam was surprised when a sweaty hand slipped into his, fumbling in a way that almost made it seem like Spike was unaware of what he was doing. “I woke up in the hospital. Seems they found me just in the nick of time. My dad was sitting by my bed, crying.” The fingers tightened around Liam’s and he instinctively squeezed them back. “He said he couldn’t do this anymore. That either I got myself sorted out or…” There was a low hitch in the boy’s breath and Liam squeezed his fingers again, urging him on. “Then he left. I haven’t seen him since. That was three years ago.”
When he was sixteen.
“What did you do?” Liam asked quietly, wishing he wasn’t so damn drunk. Oddly enough Spike sounded completely sober.
“Got myself clean but I was too angry at him to go back home. Stayed at my granny’s house. She had an extra room and we got along alright. Then she died and left me some money and I came over here, bought the bike and just…” Spike shrugged. “Rode from state to state. Never stopping long enough to think where I was headed.”
Liam nodded. He could understand that. He glanced over at Spike, squinting his eyes to focus on the now carefully closed off face. He could tell there were other stories hiding there, just waiting to be told. Two years alone on the road, a kid that young… From what Spike had hinted at it hadn’t all been a bed of roses. Liam felt an overwhelming need to pull the kid into a hug, something he tried to blame on being too drunk. It had nothing to do with Spike smelling so damn good. Liam inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. Christ, he better pull himself together before he lost his mind completely and started molesting the boy in his vulnerable state. He turned his head again, staring up at the ceiling.
“And today?” His voice was hoarse and he awkwardly cleared his throat before continuing. “I mean, no way you’ve been travelling with no luggage and no money all this time.”
Spike shifted, pulling his hand away to rub it over his face and when Liam glanced over he saw the boy was blushing.
“Yeah, that.” He laughed, a soft embarrassed sound. “Would you believe I got robbed? Not even in the heroic bumped-over-the-head or at-gunpoint way. Just went to bed with someone who seemed decent enough and next thing I know I’m waking up alone with nothing but the clothes I wore left lying on a chair. Only reason he didn’t take my bike was I had it chained to an iron fence, and he had his own anyway.”
Liam blinked. He? Did that mean…? Huh. Out loud he said, “Bummer,” and shook his head in sympathy. “That blows.”
“Bummer?” Spike rose up on one elbow and grinned down at him. “Are… are you drunk?”
“No!” Liam huffed indignantly and tried to push Spike away, somehow ending up with one hand palming his cheek instead. “I’m not…” He frowned. “Maybe a little.”
Spike laughed but he didn’t pull away. His face was slightly flushed, the skin warm under Liam’s palm, and his eyes flashed in sync with the TV. “I’d say more than a little.”
“How come you’re not?” Liam asked with a pout.
“More stamina. That’s what being a junkie does to you.” Spike was still smiling but it didn’t reach his eyes anymore.
Liam sighed and slid his thumb over Spike’s cheekbone, gazing at him softly. “You were a kid, Spike. So you flipped when your mom died. So what? Doesn’t make you a bad person. Cut yourself some slack.”
Spike’s smile fell and he swallowed, licking his lips uncertainly. “You really think so? Because dad said…”
Liam shook his head. “Your dad was grieving for your mother while trying to take care of you. It became too much and he screwed up. He’s only human. Cut him some slack.”
“But…” Spike paused, looking unsure as if that hadn’t even occurred to him and Liam was once again reminded of how damn young he was.
“You haven’t spoken in three years? Maybe it’s time you did.” Liam ran his fingers down Spike’s neck. He could feel the rapid heartbeat under the warm skin and wondered what it would feel like against his lips. “I’m sure he’s worried.”
“I don’t know if he would even want to talk to me,” Spike said sullenly.
“Don’t be stupid. He cried, man. You don’t cry over someone unless you love them.” Liam let his hand fall away. “Are you telling me that in those three years he never tried to contact you?”
“Well… no. While I was living with my granny he called a few times but I wasn’t… I refused to talk to him.” Spike blushed. “I guess I was still too angry.”
“And let me guess. Then you left the country without even telling him?” Liam sighed and sat up, gazing down at the kid who looked aptly chagrined. “Spike, I know it’s none of my business but… Call your dad! I bet he’s frantic with worry.”
“I can’t! I can’t just call him now. It would be like I was only calling because I ran out of money or something.”
Liam rolled his eyes. “You really think he’s gonna care about that? Let me say it again: He cried! For you! Now I don’t know if he’s the kind of man who weeps buckets at the drop of a hat but it would have taken more than that to make my old man break down. Like, losing his company or something. Losing his son certainly didn’t wring out a single tear.”
He cringed at the bitterness in his own voice and got slowly up off the bed. The room had stopped spinning but he felt dead tired.
“I’m going to bed. We’ll talk it over tomorrow. If you don’t want to ask him for money then don’t ask him. We’ll figure something out about the money.” He waved his hand dismissively. “The money is not important. Ok?”
“Figure out? Like how?” Spike sat up. “The little I had left on my account has probably been drawn already,” he said bitterly. “I’ve got no job, nothing worth selling except my bike and…”
“I can get you a job. If you come with me to New York. Ok?”
“But…”
“Tomorrow.” Liam rubbed his face tiredly. “Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m beat.”
Spike opened his mouth but closed it again and nodded. “Ok.” He caught Liam’s wrist as he turned to walk away. “Hey. Thanks.”
Liam looked down at the fingers circling his wrist, wondering if Spike could feel his heartbeat speeding up, then raised his head. The boy was gazing at him, eyes steady even if his smile was hesitant and almost shy.
“You’re welcome.”
Spike stood slowly up, still not letting go of Liam’s wrist, his body radiating heat as it straightened up along his. “You really want me to come with you to New York?”
“Yeah. I mean, if you want to.” Liam swallowed and tried without success to pry his eyes away from Spike’s heated gaze. “I could use the company while driving and…I have a small apartment waiting for me there. I’m staying for the summer.”
Spike watched him speculatively. “You offering me a place to stay?”
“I guess.” Liam frowned. “But if you start with the whole I’m-not-for-sale crap again I’m taking it back. I’m not offering to be your sugar daddy or anything,” he said with a snort. “You’re not that pretty.”
Spike quickly let go of his wrist and stepped back, blushing. “I wasn’t going to! I just…” He looked away. “Sorry.”
“I’m kidding. Relax.” Liam shook his head and smiled. “And you’re plenty pretty, by the way,” he added with a wink.
Spike blinked, then a smirk tugged at his lips and he quirked one eyebrow. “Are you flirting with me?”
“I don’t know.” Liam grinned back. “Would you like me too?” he asked teasingly.
“Maybe.” It was quiet, almost mischievous in its shyness.
Liam’s heart jumped in his chest. “Then maybe I am.”
They held each other’s gaze for a while and then Liam looked away. “Tomorrow.” When we’re not stupidly drunk.
Spike nodded after a moment’s hesitation. “Ok.”
Liam walked to the door, pausing with his hand on the knob. “I’m not misunderstanding anything, am I? You are gay?”
Spike laughed. “More or less. Enough to want to snog the hell out of you.”
Liam could feel his face grow warm as he fought the urge to grin stupidly. “That’s gay enough for me,” he said instead and walked out, closing the door behind him. He had a feeling he was going to have some very interesting dreams tonight.
Continued here
Author: felisblanco
Fandom: BtVS/AtS
Pairing: Liam/Spike, Liam/Lindsey
Word count: This part a little over 10.000 words
Summary: Au Human. A promising young artist named Liam is on his way to New York to open his first big exhibition when he comes upon Spike, a runaway teen that's stranded with a busted motorbike by the side of the road.
Author's Note: This was written for spring_spangel. The rest will be posted very soon, probably over the weekend or at Monday/Tuesday the latest. The idea for this came to me when reading The Music of Chance by Paul Auster, about a man on a roadtrip who picks up a young hitchhiker.(That's pretty much all these stories have in common) That was two years ago, and the first 7 pages of this have been sitting in my notebook until I finally typed them up last month. And then decided to finish it for spring_spangel. It's now 38 pages and counting. *headdesk* Unbeta'd because I'm late.
[ETA. Forgot to say because I'm tired and a tiny bit drunk and haven't eaten anything since noon and it's now 1 am: Dedicated to hellziggy for being an awesome friend who I keep promising to write stories for and I never deliver. So this one is for you, baby. Hope you like. (Even if it's not Spander. *g*)]
Liam never picked up hitchhikers. Never, ever. He'd heard enough stories of slit throats and traumatized rape victims to take stupid chances like that. Ever.
So why the hell did he find himself slowing down until he came to a stop only a few yards away from the stranded biker?
Maybe because he looked so harmless, like a lost little boy where he stood by his bike, helmet kicked to the side. Maybe because it was obviously not a setup, just an unlucky rider needing help. Maybe because he'd been driving for two days straight and the loneliness was killing him.
Or just maybe it was because, even with just the quick glance he threw the boy as he drove by, he was struck by his looks, the blond hair, his tanned bare arms and his big - and later he discovered, blue - eyes looking up at him with tired hopelessness.
The boy was still standing in the same place, staring after him. Shifting in reverse Liam backed the truck until it was lined up beside the biker. Still wondering what the hell he was doing he rolled down the window and leaned across the passenger seat, raising his eyebrows at the kid.
“Need help?”
Hope sparkled in the boy's eyes and he walked over, smiling. “Yeah. Busted my front tire on a broken bottle. Lucky I didn't smack into a bloody tree or something,” he said, voice sporting a lovely English accent. He glanced over at the bike then inclined his head toward the back of the truck. “Think you can give us a ride to the nearest garage?”
“Can't see why not.”
Liam jumped out and together they hoisted the bike up on the back of the truck. Liam threw the tarp over it since it looked like it might start to rain any moment.
“Thanks, mate. Just gotta get my...” The kid hesitated, shooting a worried glance at the helmet lying at the edge of the woods and then back at the truck, seeming to judge the distance.
Liam chuckled. “Relax. I'm not gonna drive away and leave you stranded.”
The kid gave him an apologetic smile but the suspicious look didn't leave his eyes and he dashed to retrieve the helmet, returning before Liam even had the time to open the car door. Liam couldn't help laughing. Here he was, worrying that the boy might slit his throat and at the same time the kid thought he might steal his bike. Nice world they lived in.
“What?” the kid said, eyeing him with a frown. “What’s so funny?”
Liam chuckled. “Nothing. Get in.”
The boy suddenly hesitated, maybe he'd just remembered some ugly hitchhiker stories of his own. Liam just gave him a friendly smile and slid in behind the wheel, again giving the kid a comforting smile when he climbed in and closed the door warily behind him. Liam pulled out and they drove in silence for a while, the boy nervously fingering the hem of his jacket that he'd lain over his lap.
“So, what's your name?”
The boy had obviously been deep in thought because he jerked into alert and looked up at him, that same wary look back in his eyes, hesitating for a moment before he said, “Spike. You can call me Spike.”
Okay. “Well, Spike, I'm Liam. Nice to meet you. You from England?”
The boy relaxed slightly. “Yeah. Been here a few years though.”
Liam grinned. “Just as well my mother’s not here. She used to tell me you're all arrogant bastards.”
At the blank look on Spike's face he added, “Irish. My mom that is. According to her all my ancestors starved to death because of your ancestors.” Still only getting slow blinks as a response, Liam sighed. “Never mind. She loved Paul McCartney so you can't all be bad.”
Spike snorted. “One thing I can thank The Beatles for then. That and inventing heavy metal.”
Liam frowned. “The Beatles didn't invent heavy metal.”
“Helter Skelter? The world's first heavy metal song?”
Now it was Spike's time to sigh as Liam only continued to frown at him in confusion. “Guess it's true what my mum said about you lot then. Thick as a Mick.”
Liam tried to look indignant but the grin on Spike's face was infectious and he gave up, laughing and shaking his head.
“So where are you headed?” He glanced over and saw the hesitation was back in Spike's eyes so he quickly added, “Not that it's any of my business.”
“No, it's all right. It's just... I'm not sure. Just wanted to get away, you know?”
Liam nodded. That was something he did very well know. “Yeah, been there, done that.” He glanced at the boy again. “Didn't help though.”
Spike started to pluck at the hem of his jacket again, avoiding Liam's curious eyes. “No?”
“Not really. I may have left the problem behind for a while, but it never left me. Stuck in my head no matter how far I drove. Eating at my soul like cancer,” he added, more to himself than at Spike, then cringed when he realised what he’d said. Always with the melodrama, he was, like a teenage emo girl.
“That bad?” Spike eyed him curiously then blushed and looked away. “Sorry, mate. None of my business.”
Liam shook his head. “Nah, it's alright. It's just... I don't usually talk about myself this much. Or at all really” He laughed softly. “Watch out or you'll have me lying in your lap, telling you my life story.”
Spike’s eyes widened slightly and Liam mentally kicked himself. “I think I'll shut up now.”
Spike shifted, biting his lip as he seemed to contemplate the situation. Finally he lifted his head and looked straight at Liam. “If you want to talk, it’s all right. Mum always said I was a good listener.”
He smiled but it was a sad and pained smile and it made Liam wonder what really had happened to leave the boy stranded in the middle of nowhere with nothing but the bike and the clothes he wore.
“Besides it'd be a relief focusing on someone else’s problems for a while. But if you don’t want to...” Spike shrugged. “Just thought I’d offer. Makes the time go by faster.”
It surprised Liam how tempted he was by the offer. It was true what he'd told Spike. He never talked about himself. Never talked really much at all. Growing up his silent nature had earned him the nickname Broodypants, which had changed gradually to Mr. Broody as he got older. It stuck to him well enough that by the time he got to college most of his fellow students had taken it for his real name since he never really bothered to correct them.
But being alone for so long was having its effect on him and suddenly the need to talk, to just put it all out there, whether to be judged or accepted... it was overwhelming. Liam pursed his lips and flexed his fingers slightly on the steering wheel. He’d been tightening his hold without noticing it and his knuckles creaked in relief as they were made to relax.
“Are you sure? I mean, any time you get bored just tell me to shut up. I promise I won't mind.”
Spike chuckled. “Mate, if I get bored I'm more likely to fall asleep. Comfy car you've got.”
Liam looked over at him. The boy did look tired. His face was pale under the tan, his eyes rimmed red, from exhaustion or crying he couldn't tell. This was getting more and more intriguing. Most of all he wanted to hear Spike's life story but he had a feeling that would proof hard to get. Funny thing was, the kid reminded him of himself in some ways. Not his broody self, the kid didn't look the type, although his pouty lips had probably expressed their share of sulking. It was more that lost look in his eyes that spoke of hopelessness and sorrow, something he knew only too well himself.
The kid was watching him now, smiling reassuringly and he seemed to be genuinely interested. Liam hesitated, the prospect of finally talking about all the things that had happened to him almost frightening. But not nearly as frightening as it would have been talking to someone he knew. He guessed it was true what they say, that talking to strangers was easier because even if they judge you it doesn’t hurt as much as being judged by your friends or family.
He flexed his fingers again, watching them tighten and his knuckles whiten as they instantly resumed their tight grip on the wheel. Maybe he was making a mistake. Maybe he should just laugh it off, say he was only joking. Maybe he should…
“You said you wanted to get away,” he started, surprising himself. “Four years ago that was all I wanted to do. I felt stuck in a life I didn't want, a job I hated, a relationship that was suffocating me and a body that kept betraying me.”
He felt Spike's eyes resting on him but he stared straight ahead, at the road winding endlessly before them.
“After I got my degree in corporate law, graduating top of my class just like my father had wanted me to, I joined his firm. I quickly worked my way up, snatching more and more important cases. Not by connections, my father would never grant me special favours. In fact he did his best to keep me down, but his partners overruled him. So there I was, taking from the poor and giving more to the rich. Which is more or less what corporate lawyers do, at least at my father's firm.” He twisted his lips into a frown of distaste. “Anyway, wanting to strengthen the bonds with one of the potential partners a pact was made and I was ordered to date Mr. Summers’ daughter. Just like that. Modern prostitution in its finest form.” Again he felt Spike's eyes on him but he couldn't meet them.
“I should have said no. This is after all not the 19th century, people don't do these things anymore, or so I thought. But instead I asked her out and within a year we were engaged. She was a lovely girl. Beautiful, blond, vibrant and witty. Only problem was...” He paused then turned his gaze on Spike. “... she was a girl.”
He waited for the look of shock or the frown of disgust but neither came. Spike just nodded and waited for him to continue. Liam let lose a breath he hadn't realised he was holding, his shoulders and arms relaxing, and he allowed himself a small smile before continuing.
“So yes, I felt stuck. I hated my job even if I was good at it. I wanted to be a painter, you know. At school I was considered quite the prodigy, but my father wouldn't hear of it. That wasn't a career, he said, it was a hobby for queers. Mind you, at that time I of course hadn't told him I was one. But I knew, had always known ever since my classmates started talking about girls and boobs and trying to catch a sight of them naked and I realised I'd much rather the guys would take off their own clothes.” He chuckled. “Could be quite embarrassing, I tell you, showering with a bunch of high school jocks and trying to hide the effect they were having on me. Don't think anyone noticed but I was terrified they might find out. Comparing sizes was much more fun for me though, I guess.”
Spike snorted beside him and Liam looked over in surprise. The grin on the boy's face was not what he'd expected but it filled him with a sweet warmth that had him smiling back. Then his face sobered when he remembered the next part of the story.
“But I was a coward. I was 21 and I had yet to come out. Every now and then I went to gay bars, more to be able to be myself than to pick up guys. Even if that did happen on a few occasions it was never anything serious, just a way to relief tension and… well, have some decent sex.”
Spike snorted again and Liam wanted to hug him.
“After I started dating Buffy...” The choked laughter had him rolling his eyes. “Yeah, I know. How do people come up with these names?” He smirked and added, “Spike.”
Spike laughed, an open and happy laugh that made Liam's heart jump. Then the kid stuck out his tongue at him in such a childish way that for a second Liam wondered how old he really was. And what a lovely tongue he had but that thought he suppressed quickly, turning to stare at the road ahead instead. After a few moments he continued his story, hoping it would kill whatever was starting to stir within him.
“Anyway, Buffy. I kept faithful while dating her even if I knew being with her was wrong on so many levels. But I’m not a cheater. Or I thought I wasn’t. Until Lindsey came along.”
His knuckles whitened again on the wheel and he felt Spike shift beside him, as if he was preparing himself for whatever was to come.
“Lindsey MacDonald was this hot young lawyer from LA. Dad brought him over to help out with a criminal case that came up with one of our clients. I won’t go into details but it involved some young girls and some very sick old men.” His face turned grim as he remembered the report. “I wanted us to stay out of it, let some other firm dirty their hands with it, but of course my father wouldn’t listen. We just needed someone competent to handle it, he said. Someone who could keep this important client out of jail and his money with our firm. Didn’t matter that the man was clearly guilty, that he was responsible for destroying these girls’ lives in the most horrible way. All that mattered was his money.”
He paused, the disgust once again overwhelming him. He knew every man had a right to the best possible defence, no matter how guilty he was. But men like that brought out the worst in him, making him long for a shotgun and a shovel and a drive into the desert in the dark, bodybag in the trunk. Finally he shook it off, and gave Spike a tired smile before continuing. Nothing he could do about it anyway.
“So there I was, working late at the office, basically using any excuse not to be with Buffy, and in walks this Texan. Shoulder length hair, killer smile, accent smooth as silk. Wearing jeans and a plaid shirt, cowboy boots and a Stetson hat planted far back on his head. Just got in from the airport, he said, and did I know where he was supposed to be staying? I stared at him, blushing like a teenager and my heart started racing. The guy practically oozed sex, like he was a walking hard-on.”
Liam laughed, embarrassed. “You know that old gaydar myth? Well, I’ve never really had that so I had no idea if he was gay or straight but the way he talked and moved, the way he kept looking up at me through his long eyelashes, how his fingers lingered just a little too long as we shook hands... All those tiny things that probably meant nothing and still they made me weak in the knees and I knew I was falling. Hard.”
Liam glanced over at Spike, again looking for that awkward and uncomfortable squirm that would tell him he was going too far. But Spike sat relaxed, tilting his head a little as he observed Liam with interest. Relieved Liam turned his eyes back on the road.
“Anyway, I took him to his hotel and when he asked me if I knew of a good place to get a drink I jumped at the opportunity. We ended up at this quiet bar, soft blues playing through a cloud of smoke. We talked about music and from there we went on to art and I told him all about my dreams of becoming a painter. It felt incredible, like I’d finally found my soulmate. It got later and we got drunker and before I knew what was happening I was on my knees in the restroom.”
He stopped short, his face heating up. Despite the boy’s tolerance so far, that was probably way more than he wanted to hear.
“It’s alright. I really don’t mind.”
Spike’s voice startled him after only hearing his own for so long and Liam glanced over at him, surprised. The blue eyes looking back at him were open and honest, if a little mischievous, as if he knew Liam had gotten carried away with his own story and thus revealed things he probably never intended, and it amused him.
“You won’t shock me, mate. I know I’m young but I’m hardly a virgin.” Spike chuckled, as Liam blushed even further. “Don’t be shy. Hey, maybe I can even learn a thing or two,” he added with a wink.
Liam blinked as wild and highly inappropriate images flashed through his head. He wasn’t sure what to think. His gaydar really did suck and he had no idea if the kid meant it or if he was just trying to be supportive in his own odd and, possibly unaware, suggestive way. In the end he decided to shrug it off. He knew nothing about this kid, not even if he was of legal age, and any kind of approach could scare him off, and possibly land his own ass in jail. And he wasn’t looking for a hook-up, not now, not really. The kid was pretty though, that couldn’t be denied. Positively beautiful. And there was something about him that made Liam feel… But no. Better not go there.
“Still, to spare you the details, that night I became a cheater. And every single night after that for the next month.”
Liam bit his lip, the guilt still as strong. Buffy hadn’t deserved being treated like that. It wasn’t her fault, any of it. She just got caught in their parents’ ploy, unaware of its purpose, just happy and blindingly in love with a guy that felt nothing for her. He wondered if she had ever been told the truth. Somehow he doubted it.
Spike was watching him but when Liam glanced his way there was no contempt in his eyes, just curiosity, and Liam breathed out.
“Lindsey was like a drug, like crack or cocaine, and I was totally addicted. I just couldn’t get enough. During office hours we stole kisses and touches, every chance we got. Blowjobs in the staircase, once even fucked in the underground carpark.” Liam shivered, lost in the memory. “I burned for him, literally feeling fire in my veins just by looking at him. And he… He was like the Devil. Constantly tempting me, teasing me. Driving me completely insane with lust. He would sit at meetings, looking my father straight in the eye while his hand was in my lap under the table, stroking me.”
Spike shifted beside him but Liam kept his eyes on the road, his voice unsteady. “We were playing with fire and I didn’t care because he didn’t care and I would have done anything for him. Every elevator ride was like a trip to Heaven, every moment in other’s company like Hell. He’d smile and laugh with Buffy, then as soon as she turned her back he’d pinch me hard in the ass or squeeze my constant erection. I had to wear the tightest underwear, so everyone in the office wouldn’t see my hard-on. God, I had never been so happy and at the same time never felt so scared in my whole life. I never wanted it to end and at the same time I felt that one more second of this torture would kill me.”
He stopped and for a few minutes they drove in silence. It had started to rain and the wind was lashing against the rooftop, running in rivers down the windows. It seemed fitting, like God was providing him with a soundtrack to match his story. He wouldn’t be the least surprised if any minute now, lightning crossed the sky, rolling ominous thunder their way.
Just then it did and Spike jumped beside him, fingers grabbing for the door handle as he stared startled up at the sky. How Hollywood, Liam thought wryly and threw the kid a reassuring smile. Spike swallowed but smiled back, his fingers slowly unclenching and he let his hands rest in his lap, unconsciously turning a silver ring on his thumb.
“And then?” he finally asked and Liam recognised it for the plea it was. If the kid needed a distraction Liam would happily provide him with one. Even if what was coming up next still made him hurt more than he’d imagined possible.
“And then we got caught.” He gave a short laugh. “Of course we did. You can’t be that reckless and get away with it. Not for long anyway. It was one of the security guys at the firm. Handed my father a video tape and everything.”
He felt Spike flinch in sympathy but again he kept his eyes on the road.
“The old man was furious. Called me to his office and raged over me like a madman. Told me what a disgusting pervert I was, how much he despised me and that I was not worthy of his precious name. Told me I was to stop immediately or he would beat the crap out of me. Then he sat down, cold and business like, and told me that the only thing to do now was to hurry up with the wedding. And if I ever mentioned any of this to Buffy or her father he would disown me. I could forget any money I thought was coming my way if I didn’t do as he said.”
Liam shook his head. It still baffled him, that particular part of the whole thing. “I just stared at him. I knew he would be furious but I never expected him to say the wedding was still on. His arrogance struck that tiny cord of courage I had deep inside me and I told him there would be no wedding. I was gay, had always been gay and I’d finally found love.” He swallowed. “My father laughed at me and then he spat in my face.”
Again Spike flinched and Liam could feel his face pale in remembrance of the blatant hatred he’d never expected to see in his own father’s eyes. “I stared at him in shock as his spittle ran down my cheek. He told me to leave and never ever contact him again. I was still staring at him when the security guards came to throw me out. He ignored me, shuffling pages on his desk as they dragged me out of his office, yelling for him to please don’t do this, please hear me out. I was his son, his only son, didn’t that mean anything to him?”
His voice broke briefly and when he continued it was hoarse and shaky. “Once out in the street I panicked as what had happened finally sunk in and I called Lindsey, absolutely frantic. He didn’t answer. I kept trying to call him for the next two days but he never picked up. He had checked out of his hotel room and no one seemed to know where he was. I was going insane with worry, to the point that I was convinced that my father had done something horrible, maybe even had him killed.” He laughed bitterly. “And that’s when I saw the news in the local paper. My father had given Lindsey my job and what’s more, he was the new junior partner of the firm. There was a picture of the two of them shaking hands, smiling like best buds.”
Liam took a deep breath, trying his best to steady his voice. “I don’t know how or why. I don’t know if he blackmailed his way in somehow or if this was my father’s way of humiliating me even further. I didn’t really care, I just… I wanted to die. Instead I got drunk and cried myself to sleep. The next day I got in my car and drove away.”
They sat in silence for a long time, Liam lost in his memories, Spike staring out of the window.
Finally Liam coughed and cleared his throat. “So that’s my life story, more or less. I went back two years later when my father died. I couldn’t grief for him but I mourned the father I wished he’d been. Lindsey was at the funeral, a pregnant Buffy on his arm. Neither of them even looked at me. The will left me nothing but I already knew that. The next day I left again and I never looked back.”
He drummed his fingers on the wheel and glanced at the boy. He seemed deep in thought, biting his lower lip and running his fingers along the dashboard.
“So, did I bore you yet?”
“No.” Spike shifted in his seat, blinking with a furrow brow before looking up at him, anxious. “Then what? I mean, what the hell happened? What did you do?”
“Do?”
“Yeah. Like… Are you still a lawyer?”
Liam nodded. “By degree, yes. But I don’t practice anymore. In fact I paint.” He smiled at Spike’s shocked look. “Yep, I went from wealthy lawyer to dirt poor artist in no time. It was a struggle but I’m finally doing what I wanted and I love it. And in the end it paid off. I have an exhibition in New York next week. That’s where I’m headed, to set it up. Who’d had thought, huh?”
“I would,” said Spike quietly after a moment’s silence. “I think you look like the kind of man who could do anything he set his mind to.”
Liam blushed. “I wouldn’t say that. Haven’t had a single relationship in those four years.” He shrugged. “Sometimes I think he might have ruined me for life.”
“No! Don’t bloody well say that!”
Liam looked startled over at Spike’s flushed face.
“I mean, that’s not how a story should end. You meet obstacles, you overcome them. You have your heart broken only to find something better. There’s supposed to be a happy ever after.”
“You know life doesn’t work that way.”
“Well, it bloody well should!” Spike slammed his fist angrily down on the dashboard. “What the fuck is the point otherwise?”
Liam frowned. The kid was trembling, his lips twitching with suppressed emotions.
“Hey, calm down. Are you alright?”
Spike didn’t answer, just turned his head and stared out into the dark and rainy night. He looked impossibly young and again Liam wondered what had driven this kid out on the road, what he was running from. He had thought that maybe it was an abusive home but Spike’s reaction to his story had him wondering if maybe it was something else altogether.
He allowed the kid his space for a while, driving steadily along the highway. They would need to stop soon. He’d been driving for two days, only stopping for food and gas, and a short night’s sleep in a motel. It was starting to take its toll, he felt exhausted. Trouble was he didn’t know what to do about the kid. He was running low on cash himself but from the look of things the kid was even worse off. Question was how he would take Liam offering to pay for a room for him, especially considering the mood he was in now. He didn’t want the kid running off into the night in a huff, especially in this weather, but if they drove on much longer he was in danger of falling asleep at the wheel. After a moment’s hesitation he cleared his throat and glanced over at Spike who was still sitting eerily still, staring out into the dark.
“Listen, I don’t know about you but I’m beat. What do you say we find a motel?”
He could practically feel the air in the car sizzle with electricity. Looking over at Spike again he saw the kid had gone rigid, pulse beating frantically at his throat, and too late Liam realised what he’d said. Crap.
“I’ll spring for a single for you,” he added as if it was an afterthought, voice calm and casual. “If you’re short on cash, I mean. It’s okay. Least I can do for making you listen to my life story without yawning even once.”
Spike looked over at him warily, blinking as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard right. Then he visibly relaxed and even offered a small smile, seeming slightly embarrassed. “Thank you. I’ll pay you back, I promise. Somehow. I mean…”
“Don’t worry about it.” He gave Spike a quick smile and then turned back to the road, gazing through the dark in search of a motel sign. It came about fifteen minutes later and he turned off the highway, coming to a stop in front of the reception.
“You can wait in the car if you like. No use both of us getting wet,” he said and looked over at Spike.
The kid was fast asleep, face mashed up against the window. The green neon light of the vacancy sign cast an almost ghoulish colour over his skin, making his closed eyes look hollow and dark. Liam gazed at him for a long time, taking in what he’d only allowed himself to glance at until now.
There was no denying it, the boy was eerily pretty. Even pale and worn out he had features that bore the definition of beauty. High cheekbones, full lips and those startling blue eyes that were now hiding behind the thin eyelids. He could see them moving rapidly underneath, caught in a dream he hoped was pleasant but somehow he doubted it. The boy’s soft whimper seemed to confirm this and Liam reached out to shake him awake. Instead he found his fingers slipping across the boy’s neck, soothingly stroking him calm. His hair was slicked back, slightly flat from the helmet, but the natural curls had proven too strong at the neck where they swirled, soft like silk. Liam had a sudden vision of how the boy would look, just fucked and sleepy, hair mussed and tangled. He shivered and drew his hand back, closing his eyes for a brief moment before quietly getting out of the car.
He got them two singles. Even if Spike hadn’t shown such obvious discomfort at the prospect of sharing a room with him, Liam would have gotten him a separate room anyway. Truth was he didn’t trust himself around this boy. This boy, who for all he knew was a runaway teenager, under-aged and fragile as hell. Who knew what he’d been through to make him leave his home with no belongings except his bike? Liam wasn’t going to take advantage of that, no matter how tempted he was. He laughed quietly to himself, the absurdity of his thoughts suddenly hitting him. He didn’t even know if the kid was gay, for Christ’s sake! Way to jump the gun, Liam. Keep your thoughts to yourself and your dick in your pants.
He ran through the rain and jumped into the car, accidentally waking Spike up as he slammed the door shut a little too hard. The kid jumped up, blinking nervously as he looked around, taking in his surroundings.
“Our rooms are just over there,” Liam said and started the car, driving it over to the far end of the parking lot. He handed Spike one key and then grabbed his duffle bag from the back seat. “I think we better run.”
They dashed through the pouring rain, already drenched through when they reached the patio and ducked under the overhanging roof.
“Bloody hell!” Spike gasped and shook his head, drops flying everywhere.
“You can say that again,” Liam panted as he wiped the rain from his face.
“Bloody hell!” Spike repeated even louder, and then started laughing, looking down at his soaking clothes. “I look like a drowned rat!” He glanced up at Liam and laughed even harder. “And you’re even worse. I hope you’ve got some dry clothes in that bag of yours or you’re gonna be cranky as hell tomorrow.”
“Actually I do.” Liam gave him a thoughtful look. “You don’t though, right? Want to borrow something?”
“What, of yours?” Spike gave him an incredulous look. “No offence, mate, but you’re a bloody giant. I can’t really see anything fitting me.”
“I’m not a giant,” Liam said with a frown. “You’re the short one.”
“I’m not short!” Spike punched him lightly on the arm and huffed indignantly but his eyes were still smiling. “Just for that I’m not gonna share any of my gum with you.” He drew a soggy packet of Wrigley’s from his pants and shoved a plate into his mouth. “It’s good gum too,” he added with a smirk, his jaws working furiously.
With a growl in his stomach Liam realised they hadn’t eaten anything… well, him since noon and Spike since God knew when. There was a diner on the far side of the parking lot and he eyed it hungrily. Running over there meant getting even more wet but he figured it was better doing it now before they changed into dry clothes. Who knew if and when it would stop raining?
“What do you say we get something to eat? You hungry?”
The smile slipped from Spike’s face. “I don’t really have any…”
“My treat,” Liam quickly said.
Spike seemed to withdraw as he eyed Liam suspiciously. “Why?”
Liam frowned. “Why what?”
“Why are you being so nice?” Spike took a step back, glancing quickly around as if he was making sure he had an escape. “What’s in it for you?”
“Nothing! I’m just… What are you talking about?”
“This.” Spike swept his arm across the patio as if to indicate some invisible line-up of offences. “You paying for my room, buying me food. Offering me your bloody clothes.” He took another step back, his voice wary. “I don’t… I’m not for sale, if that’s what you thought. I know I look the part. Been told so many times. But I don’t do that. No. Not even for nice blokes like you.”
Liam blinked. “You thought… No! I’m not… I don’t expect… Jesus! No!” He ran one hand tiredly through his wet hair. “Listen, just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I jump every guy I meet, ok? And I never, never, expected you to pay me back. Especially not like that.”
Spike gazed at him for a moment then nodded. “Alright. Sorry.”
“I’d say it’s okay but seriously, what the hell?”
The kid blushed and ducked his head. “It’s just… Wouldn’t be the first time, you know? It happens that men…” He shrugged, his face looking suddenly pale in the moonlight. “I just wanted to make sure we were clear.”
“Crystal.”
He hadn’t meant to make his voice so icy but he was shaken and the way the boy flinched at his tone only upset him further. He knew it was partly because he felt guilty for his fleeting thoughts earlier, about how it would feel to taste this kid, to feel his skin under his fingers. It had been wrong and maybe the boy had picked up on some of it, maybe that was why he thought…
Liam took a deep breath and gave the boy an apologetic smile. “Listen, Spike. I don’t know… I mean…” He sighed and tried again. “I’m sorry if I gave you any reason to think that. It never even crossed my mind that you might....” He blushed and hoped it wasn’t too obvious in the pale moonlight. “I mean, you’re a good looking kid and I like you, but that’s it. I never meant to make you feel that you had to… You’re just a kid for Christ sake!”
Spike shook his head in irritation. “Stop saying that. I’m not a bloody kid! I’m nineteen, mate. How ancient are you?”
“I’m not ancient! I’m twenty five…” He paused, frowning. “Twenty six. I’m twenty six.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Which is it?”
“Twenty six.” Liam laughed softly to himself. “Guess the days caught up with me. I turned twenty six yesterday, I just forgot.”
Spike stared at him and then his face broke into the most glorious smile Liam could remember ever seeing. “Well, then. Guess we better celebrate!” He punched Liam lightly on the arm, his earlier mood seeming completely vanished and Liam felt slightly dazed at the change of atmosphere. “I’ll even let you buy me beer.”
“Yeah, right. You’re not twenty one, in fact you look closer to fifteen. I’m not gonna get arrested for providing alcohol to a minor.”
“So then you’ll just buy some and we take it back to the motel.” Spike grinned and quirked his eyebrow at him. “It’s your birthday, mate. Don’t be a party pooper.”
Liam glared at him but he could feel his resolve wavering. Hadn’t he been drinking himself by the age of seventeen? He never had any trouble with his mates in college drinking, or even high school, as long as they didn’t throw up on him or set his books on fire. A couple of beers wouldn’t hurt. And Spike was right, they should celebrate. He hadn’t had anyone to celebrate his birthday with for years. It would be nice.
“Ok, how about I go see if they can fix us something to take with us so we don’t have to sit there in our wet clothes? You go have a shower and change…” He opened his bag and ruffled through it, finally coming up with a pair of sweats and a more or less clean t-shirt. “Here. I’ll knock on your door when I’m ready.”
“Excellent. Oh, you’re not a health freak, right? Burger and chips, that’s the thing, yeah?”
He’d been hoping for something a little lighter but what the hell. “What do you take me for? Burger and… chips coming right up.”
Spike grinned and tugged the clothes under his arm. As he was about to unlock his door he glanced over his shoulder and said, “That’s French fries, you know? Not crisps. Although I wouldn’t mind some of those either.”
Liam blinked. Huh. “Of course.” What the hell were crisps?
Spike gave him another smile as he disappeared through the door and Liam smiled back before opening his own door, shoving the duffel bag inside. Bracing himself against the weather he squared his shoulders and then ran as fast as he could across the parking lot.
By the time he was back and had changed his clothes and towel dried his hair, the food was getting cold and he hurried over to the next room, knocking on the door. There was no answer but the door was unlocked so he let himself in. He could hear the water running in the bathroom and for a moment he contemplated turning around and waiting in his own room until he was sure Spike was done. Just then the water was turned off and the rustle of the shower curtain being pushed aside had him pinned to the spot.
“Erm… it’s just me,” he called out after knocking again on the door. “I can come back if you want?”
“Nah, I’ll be out in a minute.”
Liam nodded then realised Spike couldn’t see him and called an “Ok!” before placing the food on the small table and looking around. Spike’s wet clothes were laid out on the small chair, the dry clothes Liam had lent him lying on the bed. Which meant…
“Sorry. Been a while since I’ve had a good shower. Forgot the time.”
Liam looked up, his eyes glazing slightly over as he took in the sight before him.
The kid might be young but there was nothing juvenile about the body standing in front of him, clad in nothing but a thin white towel. The chest was pale in comparison to his tanned arms, youth-soft skin stretched over taunt muscles. Whatever suspicions he had had about Spike’s home situation there seemed to be no evidence of abuse, in fact he couldn’t recall ever seeing more perfect skin. There were still drops of water clinging to Spike’s hair, which was all wildly curled now, and as Liam watched a couple of drops fell to Spike’s shoulders, sliding down his chest and disappearing under his towel. Liam slowly raised his eyes again just in time to catch the wary look in Spike’s eyes as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared back in defiance.
“What?”
Liam blushed and quickly looked away. “Nothing.”
“Right.” Spike snatched up his clothes and disappeared back into the bathroom, shutting the door hard behind him.
Crap.
Liam busied himself laying out the food while he waited for Spike to return from the bathroom. He was just popping the caps of two of the bottles of beer when the door opened cautiously again and Spike stepped out. The sweats hang low on his hips, too long trouser legs pooling over his feet. The t-shirt was blue and brought out the colour of his eyes more clearly, efficiently taking the focus away from how big it was on him. His hair was once again slicked back and Liam fought the urge to walk over and ruffle it with his fingers. Because that would surely make Spike relax and not bolt out of here like a scared rabbit, he thought wryly. He better get himself under control. Wouldn’t do to scare the kid even further.
“Hey. Not too bad.” At Spike’s wary look he indicated the clothes and gave what he hoped looked like a relaxed grin. “Told you I wasn’t a giant.”
Spike glanced down at his attire and then looked up, chuckling. “Yeah, right. I look like a little kid, mate. Which I’m not,” he emphasized, eyeing the beer. “That one for me?”
“Help yourself.” Liam purposefully kept his eyes on the food and away from Spike as he lifted the bottle to his lips and gulped down half of its content. “Food’s getting cold. Dig in.”
Spike pushed the wet clothes off the chair and sat down opposite Liam by the table, picking up his burger and biting into it with a moan. “’S good,” he mumbled with bits of bread and meat between his teeth, and took another gulp from the bottle. “’M starving.”
Liam was on the verge of telling him not to talk with his mouth full and slow down with the drinking but Spike was right. He wasn’t a kid and more importantly, Liam wasn’t his parent.
“Good.” He picked up the plastic utensils and was just about to start working on his own burger when he caught Spike rolling his eyes. “What?”
“Nothing.” Spike smirked and popped a couple of fries into his mouth, then licked his fingers.
Liam frowned, first at him and then down at the knife and fork in his hands. He put them aside and grabbed the burger, taking a big bite. Lettuce and a slice of tomato fell down into the container and he felt something wet splatter on his t-shirt. Ketchup. Oh, that’s just…He growled and grabbed a bunch of napkins, ignoring the muffled giggling coming from the other side of the table. When he looked up Spike was chewing enthusiastically, blinking at him with an innocent look in his eyes that wouldn’t have fooled anyone.
“Need some help?”
“Shut up.”
Spike laughed and then he took a paper napkin and reached across the table, wiping at the corner of Liam’s mouth. “Such elegance. Did any of that go where it was supposed to?”
Liam was caught between swiping at his hand and leaning into the touch. “You’re one to talk.” He tapped his chin and nodded toward Spike. “Got a little something there.”
Spike frowned and licked around his mouth, stretching his tongue obscenely far in order to reach the right spot. “Gone?”
“Uhuh,” Liam managed with a nod and grabbed his beer, gulping half of it down. What the hell was wrong with him? They were just eating, for God’s sake. This was not 9 ½ weeks and Spike was definitely not Kim Basinger.
The rest of the meal went by in silence and by the time Liam wiped the last trace of ketchup and salt from his lips they were both finishing their second beer. He felt full and relaxed and would have been satisfied to head back to his room and climb into bed for a good night’s sleep. But the moment he sat back in his chair and was about to thank Spike for a nice day, Spike jumped up and finished his beer before grabbing another.
“Let’s see what’s on telly, eh?” He walked over to the bed and grabbed the remote before throwing himself down, turning on the television.
“Er… sure.”
Liam got up slowly and walked over. Spike scooted over to give him room but they would still have to sit practically glued together, and Liam shifted his eyes to the chair by the table and then back again. “Maybe I should..”
“Don’t be daft. Oh look, Snatch. Yeah. Love that bloke.”
Liam balanced awkwardly on the edge of the bed, trying to keep some distance between them. He peered at the screen. “Who? Brad Pitt? Well, I guess he’s…”
“Vinnie Jones, mate! Don’t you know Vinnie Jones?” Spike elbowed him playfully and Liam managed a brief flail before promptly sliding off the bed and falling less than gracefully on his ass. Ow!
“Whoa, you alright?”
Spike peered at him over the edge of the bed, seeming more startled than amused, his face tense until Liam groaned and shot him a scowl. “You threw me off the bed!” he huffed and got slowly to his feet, rubbing his backside.
“No, I didn’t.” Spike grinned and scooted back to his side, leaving even more space for Liam this time. “Your own bloody fault for sitting on the edge like that.”
“Maybe I should just get the chair…”
“You know, I’m not contagious.” The boy looked actually hurt for a moment before covering it up with a smirk. “Of course you’ve got a big bum so I guess you need your space.”
“I do not have a big…!” Liam gritted his teeth. “Fine.” He sat down again, close enough to the middle that Spike was now the one in danger of falling off, and crossed his arms on his chest. “What’s this we’re watching again?”
“Snatch. Not as good as Lock, Stock but it’s alright.” Spike scooted closer and took another sip off his beer before pointing it at the TV. “And that one’s Vinnie Jones. Great football player.”
“Huh. What is he? Quarterback?”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Not American football, you twit. Real football, which you actually play with your feet.”
Liam blinked and then he got it. “Ah. Soccer.”
That earned him another roll of eyes and an indignant huff. “Football!”
“Soccer.” Liam smirked when Spike shot him a glare.
“Shut up and watch the bloody thing, will you?” He shifted and then muttered under his breath, “Football. It’s bloody football, you stupid Americans fucking up our language.”
“I can hear you, you know.”
“Hmph.”
They watched in silence for a while, Spike sipping his beer with an air of irritation and Liam trying his hardest not to laugh as he gulped his own down. Finally he stretched out to retrieve the bag of chips from the floor, opened it and offered to Spike. “Want some ‘crisps’?”
Spike glared at him but then his face softened and he smiled. “Yeah, alright. Thanks.” He grabbed a handful from the bag and proceeded to stuff them into his mouth. Then laughed at something on the screen, spreading bits of chips all over himself without even noticing.
Liam grinned and ate a couple himself, having more fun watching Spike than paying any real attention to the movie. He was starting to feel pleasantly buzzed, like something furry was sitting on his forehead, numbing his nose. He put the empty bottle on the floor and rubbed at his face absently, sighing in content. Spike threw him a smile and emptied his bottle as well before sliding lower on the bed, one hand propped under his head.
“This is life, yeah?”
“Mmmm…” Liam agreed with a nod. “’S not bad.”
Spike was warm and so damn tantalising by his side that Liam closed his eyes, forcing himself to breathe slowly. It worked, to the point that he could feel himself drifting off, his body going slack and he shifted further down on the bed, trying to get more comfortable.
“Thanks. You know, for everything.”
He could feel Spike turning his head, breathing into his neck and grunted something that could be construed as ‘You’re welcome’.
“And for not asking,” Spike continued, the sound of him swallowing making Liam’s stomach tighten. “I mean, I know you must have been wondering what I was doing there, all by myself, with no money or anything.”
Liam opened one eye. “None of my business.”
He turned his head and stared straight into Spike’s blue eyes that were watching him warily. Oh wow, he had really pretty eyes.
“Uh, unless you want to talk?” Liam offered hesitantly. Truth was he really did want to know, and he’d only been able to keep his curiosity to himself because he was afraid of scaring the kid off.
Spike blinked slowly, his pupils widening, making his eyes darken and Liam could feel his heart speeding up, the urge to lick his lips overwhelming. Were they going to…?
Spike flopped back down on his back and stared up at the ceiling. He sucked his lower lip in between his teeth and then let it go with a snap, puckering his lips thoughtfully. Liam swallowed and forced himself to close his eyes again. So no kissing this time. Damn. Despite the hard-on growing in his pants he started to drift off again as the silence stretched out, so when Spike finally spoke he jumped slightly in surprise.
“It’s not what you probably think. My dad doesn’t smack me around, my mum’s not a drunk. Nothing like that. In fact, they’re not even here.”
Spike shifted, pulling one knee up then laying his leg flat down again on the bed before crossing his feet at the ankles, fidgeting as if he wasn’t sure how to be. “My mum died some years ago,” he said. “Breast cancer. My dad… He didn’t handle it very well. Didn’t know how to handle me either. I wasn’t the easiest to be around. Not after…” He sighed. “Guess I was a bloody nuisance. Got into fights, even arrested a couple of times. Did… did drugs.”
Liam stayed silent, eyes still closed since every time he tried to open them the room started spinning. In the background the TV was blaring. It had changed into a rerun of some old sitcom and the tincan laughter made him cringe.
“Just weed at first and some e but then someone offered me a snort of cocaine and…” Spike shifted again and Liam was surprised when a sweaty hand slipped into his, fumbling in a way that almost made it seem like Spike was unaware of what he was doing. “I woke up in the hospital. Seems they found me just in the nick of time. My dad was sitting by my bed, crying.” The fingers tightened around Liam’s and he instinctively squeezed them back. “He said he couldn’t do this anymore. That either I got myself sorted out or…” There was a low hitch in the boy’s breath and Liam squeezed his fingers again, urging him on. “Then he left. I haven’t seen him since. That was three years ago.”
When he was sixteen.
“What did you do?” Liam asked quietly, wishing he wasn’t so damn drunk. Oddly enough Spike sounded completely sober.
“Got myself clean but I was too angry at him to go back home. Stayed at my granny’s house. She had an extra room and we got along alright. Then she died and left me some money and I came over here, bought the bike and just…” Spike shrugged. “Rode from state to state. Never stopping long enough to think where I was headed.”
Liam nodded. He could understand that. He glanced over at Spike, squinting his eyes to focus on the now carefully closed off face. He could tell there were other stories hiding there, just waiting to be told. Two years alone on the road, a kid that young… From what Spike had hinted at it hadn’t all been a bed of roses. Liam felt an overwhelming need to pull the kid into a hug, something he tried to blame on being too drunk. It had nothing to do with Spike smelling so damn good. Liam inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. Christ, he better pull himself together before he lost his mind completely and started molesting the boy in his vulnerable state. He turned his head again, staring up at the ceiling.
“And today?” His voice was hoarse and he awkwardly cleared his throat before continuing. “I mean, no way you’ve been travelling with no luggage and no money all this time.”
Spike shifted, pulling his hand away to rub it over his face and when Liam glanced over he saw the boy was blushing.
“Yeah, that.” He laughed, a soft embarrassed sound. “Would you believe I got robbed? Not even in the heroic bumped-over-the-head or at-gunpoint way. Just went to bed with someone who seemed decent enough and next thing I know I’m waking up alone with nothing but the clothes I wore left lying on a chair. Only reason he didn’t take my bike was I had it chained to an iron fence, and he had his own anyway.”
Liam blinked. He? Did that mean…? Huh. Out loud he said, “Bummer,” and shook his head in sympathy. “That blows.”
“Bummer?” Spike rose up on one elbow and grinned down at him. “Are… are you drunk?”
“No!” Liam huffed indignantly and tried to push Spike away, somehow ending up with one hand palming his cheek instead. “I’m not…” He frowned. “Maybe a little.”
Spike laughed but he didn’t pull away. His face was slightly flushed, the skin warm under Liam’s palm, and his eyes flashed in sync with the TV. “I’d say more than a little.”
“How come you’re not?” Liam asked with a pout.
“More stamina. That’s what being a junkie does to you.” Spike was still smiling but it didn’t reach his eyes anymore.
Liam sighed and slid his thumb over Spike’s cheekbone, gazing at him softly. “You were a kid, Spike. So you flipped when your mom died. So what? Doesn’t make you a bad person. Cut yourself some slack.”
Spike’s smile fell and he swallowed, licking his lips uncertainly. “You really think so? Because dad said…”
Liam shook his head. “Your dad was grieving for your mother while trying to take care of you. It became too much and he screwed up. He’s only human. Cut him some slack.”
“But…” Spike paused, looking unsure as if that hadn’t even occurred to him and Liam was once again reminded of how damn young he was.
“You haven’t spoken in three years? Maybe it’s time you did.” Liam ran his fingers down Spike’s neck. He could feel the rapid heartbeat under the warm skin and wondered what it would feel like against his lips. “I’m sure he’s worried.”
“I don’t know if he would even want to talk to me,” Spike said sullenly.
“Don’t be stupid. He cried, man. You don’t cry over someone unless you love them.” Liam let his hand fall away. “Are you telling me that in those three years he never tried to contact you?”
“Well… no. While I was living with my granny he called a few times but I wasn’t… I refused to talk to him.” Spike blushed. “I guess I was still too angry.”
“And let me guess. Then you left the country without even telling him?” Liam sighed and sat up, gazing down at the kid who looked aptly chagrined. “Spike, I know it’s none of my business but… Call your dad! I bet he’s frantic with worry.”
“I can’t! I can’t just call him now. It would be like I was only calling because I ran out of money or something.”
Liam rolled his eyes. “You really think he’s gonna care about that? Let me say it again: He cried! For you! Now I don’t know if he’s the kind of man who weeps buckets at the drop of a hat but it would have taken more than that to make my old man break down. Like, losing his company or something. Losing his son certainly didn’t wring out a single tear.”
He cringed at the bitterness in his own voice and got slowly up off the bed. The room had stopped spinning but he felt dead tired.
“I’m going to bed. We’ll talk it over tomorrow. If you don’t want to ask him for money then don’t ask him. We’ll figure something out about the money.” He waved his hand dismissively. “The money is not important. Ok?”
“Figure out? Like how?” Spike sat up. “The little I had left on my account has probably been drawn already,” he said bitterly. “I’ve got no job, nothing worth selling except my bike and…”
“I can get you a job. If you come with me to New York. Ok?”
“But…”
“Tomorrow.” Liam rubbed his face tiredly. “Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m beat.”
Spike opened his mouth but closed it again and nodded. “Ok.” He caught Liam’s wrist as he turned to walk away. “Hey. Thanks.”
Liam looked down at the fingers circling his wrist, wondering if Spike could feel his heartbeat speeding up, then raised his head. The boy was gazing at him, eyes steady even if his smile was hesitant and almost shy.
“You’re welcome.”
Spike stood slowly up, still not letting go of Liam’s wrist, his body radiating heat as it straightened up along his. “You really want me to come with you to New York?”
“Yeah. I mean, if you want to.” Liam swallowed and tried without success to pry his eyes away from Spike’s heated gaze. “I could use the company while driving and…I have a small apartment waiting for me there. I’m staying for the summer.”
Spike watched him speculatively. “You offering me a place to stay?”
“I guess.” Liam frowned. “But if you start with the whole I’m-not-for-sale crap again I’m taking it back. I’m not offering to be your sugar daddy or anything,” he said with a snort. “You’re not that pretty.”
Spike quickly let go of his wrist and stepped back, blushing. “I wasn’t going to! I just…” He looked away. “Sorry.”
“I’m kidding. Relax.” Liam shook his head and smiled. “And you’re plenty pretty, by the way,” he added with a wink.
Spike blinked, then a smirk tugged at his lips and he quirked one eyebrow. “Are you flirting with me?”
“I don’t know.” Liam grinned back. “Would you like me too?” he asked teasingly.
“Maybe.” It was quiet, almost mischievous in its shyness.
Liam’s heart jumped in his chest. “Then maybe I am.”
They held each other’s gaze for a while and then Liam looked away. “Tomorrow.” When we’re not stupidly drunk.
Spike nodded after a moment’s hesitation. “Ok.”
Liam walked to the door, pausing with his hand on the knob. “I’m not misunderstanding anything, am I? You are gay?”
Spike laughed. “More or less. Enough to want to snog the hell out of you.”
Liam could feel his face grow warm as he fought the urge to grin stupidly. “That’s gay enough for me,” he said instead and walked out, closing the door behind him. He had a feeling he was going to have some very interesting dreams tonight.
Continued here