Fic: Just Watching, chapter 25. AU Human. Angel/Spike. NC-17
Well... *deep breath*
It's been almost two years since I posted this story last. I never meant for it to be so long, both the hiatus and the story to tell the truth. I hope I haven't lost all of you. And to those of you who have never read this and have no idea what it is... I suggest you read the warnings first. This is a very dark ride.
This is the last chapter. This is the end. Well, there is an epilogue which will be posted tomorrow so technically that will be the end. I don't suppose you'll all be happy with this but really, there was no other way. So... enjoy. Or not.
Title: Just Watching, Chapter 25
Author: felisblanco
Pairings/characters: Spike/Angel, Spike/Danny, OFCs
Rating: NC-17++
Summary: Spike is Angel's teenaged stepson. Sex happens. And that is the worst summary ever.
Warnings: AU Human. Underage sex, step!incest, non-con, daddy!kink, spanking, angstangstangstx100
Author's Note: Thanks to evilmaniclaugh for looking it over when I was feeling unsure and telling me it was in fact not that bad. *smooch* I'm going to write a proper author's note after the epilogue, in case anyone is interested.
Previous chapters are here.
Slowly he breaks out of the depths of sleep and opens his eyes, blinking at first in confusion. His mum is watching him, a happy smile on her face. He smiles back and reaches out to stroke her check. The glass feels cold under his fingertips. We made it. We made it, mum. You don’t have to worry about us because we’re happy and together and everything is good.
An arm slides around his waist and he turns over, snuggling into his dad’s warm embrace. The movement brings a sharp sting to his backside and he can’t help wincing.
“Will?” Angel looks at him groggily.
“Hey, dad.” He gives him a big smile to show him how happy he is, how insignificant a little pain is on this glorious day. They kiss, tongues still dry and sticky with sleep. Then Angel pulls away and looks at him, affectionately brushing stray curls away from his face.
“Hey. How are you feeling?”
“Happy. So happy, daddy.”
His wide smile makes Angel laugh and they kiss again, snuggling up even closer.
“Does it hurt… anywhere? Don’t hesitate to tell me.”
His eyes flicker away. He doesn’t want anything to spoil this but he doesn’t want to lie either. “Just a little. It’s ok, I don’t mind. Honestly.”
“Let me have a look.”
He closes his eyes as his dad slides down the bed, hands shooting electric charges through his skin as they run down his body. Moving his limbs like an action figure into the positions he’s put. Knees up, legs apart, bum up.
“I’m all right. Dad, I’m a… nngh!”
The soothing tongue licks away all traces of hurt, replacing them with only memories of last night’s bliss. He shivers, eyes rolling up in his head. Small gasps escape from his lips and without really noticing what he’s doing he starts pushing down, silently begging for deeper, harder, moremoremore! But the tongue is evil, too soft, too kind. It laps at his entrance, turning it into a pool of infuriating pleasure. Finally he can’t take it anymore.
“Dad! Please!”
The licking stops and he want to scream.
“Want more, baby? Want me to suck you?”
“Ye-yes! Please!”
His dad starts licking his way up his cock that’s bouncing against his belly, making it glisten with sticky precum. “You’re so beautiful, baby. So beautiful. Love the way you taste.”
“Love you. Love you, daddy.”
His fingers tighten, twisting the sheet in his fists. He’s on the brink of begging his dad to stop, yelling that it’s too much but then a finger slides gently inside him and he’s coming hard, his arse lifting up from the bed, thrusting his cock deeper and deeper down his dad’s throat as the crooked finger teases that special spot.
Afterwards he lies limp like a rag doll, just expanding his chest to breathe is too much of an effort. The only muscles that seem to work are the ones tugging his lips into a smile. His dad is in the bathroom, showering. The sound of the running water is lulling Spike into a half-slumber, loving words and happy images floating through his mind.
Angel told him to just relax. He’ll call him in sick at school, he has the day off himself. They can spend the rest of the day in bed or snuggling in front of the telly. And tomorrow is the weekend. So three days with nothing to do but kiss and cuddle. And have lots of sex. The small smile turns into a huge grin. Yeah, lots and lots of sex.
Now they’ve done it he just wants to do it again and again. God, it was incredible! He doesn’t even remember that small pain anymore. Just the stars and the feeling of dying just a little from the intense pleasure. Who knew it could be like that? Wait till he tells Danny or better yet shows him…
Suddenly he doesn’t feel so great anymore. Here he is, still covered in his father’s kisses, and he’s thinking of doing it all over again but with Danny? How can he be so bad, so evil? He suddenly feels cold, the sweat on his skin turning to ice. Daddy. All he needs is his daddy. No more kissing Danny in the restrooms between classes, no more touching under the desks, no more jerking each other off in the dark corner under the stairs.
“Want me to run you a bath?”
He jumps, certain that the guilt is written upon his face. “Sorry. I think I dozed off.”
His daddy only smiles and walks over to kiss him. “You just sleep, baby.” He runs a finger down Spike’s chest. “Need to keep your strength for later.”
Spike’s eyes widen, and his dad laughs, ruffling his hair before he walks out. He’s humming some pop song out of tune and Spike smiles to himself. Yes, this is all he wants, all he needs. This is happiness. He’s sure Danny will understand.
The weekend goes by much too fast. They spend most of it in bed, cuddling or talking and then making love again and again. Spike’s tender the first few times but his daddy always goes slowly at first, waiting until Spike’s so far beyond feeling anything but intense pleasure before picking up the speed. Spike likes the slow and gentle lovemaking but he’s beginning to love the hard fast fucking even more. It leaves him euphoric, so high with adrenalin and lust that he can hardly breathe. After each time he’s left shaking and gasping for breath, clinging to his dad’s broad frame like letting go will make him shatter. He’s said, “I love you,” more times than he can remember and still it never means less than the first time, in fact it means more, those simple three words containing his whole world.
They eat pancakes in bed, licking syrup of each other’s skin. They share a shower to get rid off the sticky sugar, Spike falling down on his knees as soon as his father’s heavy hand falls on his shoulder. He stares up at his dad as he swallows him down, watching his eyes close and his head fall back and this, this is his place. Forever and ever and fuck the whole world for disagreeing.
Sunday evening he’s exhausted and sore all over. His jaw aches to the point that he’s having trouble eating, his throat’s swollen and bruised as he swallows. There are bruises on his knees, teeth marks on his shoulder and it hurts every time he goes to the bathroom.
It doesn’t matter. It’s worth it. All of it.
His dad is frying burgers when he walks into the kitchen, the smell of onions and meat making his mouth water. When he slips his arms around his daddy’s waist the bare back is warm and smooth against his cheek.
“Hey there. Have a nice nap?”
“Yeah.” He tightens his hold, closing his eyes. “Thank you.”
His dad stills, spatula hovering over the frying pan. They both know he’s not talking about the food or that his daddy let him sleep the better part of the day.
“You’re welcome, son.”
“I love you so much.”
Putting the spatula aside Angel turns around and puts his arms around Spike’s thin shoulders, pulling him close. “Love you too, baby. Love you so very much.”
They stand like that until the smell of burning makes his daddy jerk awake and curse as he pulls the pan off the stove.
“Shit.”
Spike freezes, his heart picking up in his chest. He waits for his daddy to continue, to tell him that it’s his fault for distracting him. When the words don’t come he blinks and takes a step back. His throat contracts and he’s not sure where to look. Thankfully his dad doesn’t notice anything and just flips the burgers, pouting slightly as he scratches at the blackened surface with the edge of the spatula.
“Don’t think I’ll win this year’s cooking award either.” He glances over at Spike with a smile, which falters slightly as he takes in the look on Spike’s face. “What? What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, daddy. Are they ruined? Did I ruin them?”
His dad blinks, a frown forming between his eyebrows. “Will, it wasn’t your fault. They’re just burgers. A little burn doesn’t ruin them.” He shakes his head in bemusement and turns back to the stove. “Get the plates, will you?”
Spike sighs in relief and goes to fetch the plates and utensils. There are no clean glasses so he washes two and dries them before placing them on the table. His dad starts whistling as he warms the buns and Spike feels the euphoria return. He feels giddy, now the danger has passed, and giggles when one of the buns falls off the plate and onto the floor.
“Laughing at your old man, are you?” His dad is smiling and he grins back, quirking his eyebrow and wiggling his tongue. They both laugh and his dad slaps his arse playfully.
They eat, talking about everything from books to music, about the new video games and the football game they watched together last night. Spike wonders if it’s possible to burst with happiness. If it is he’s sure he’s going to blow up any minute now.
“Have you done your homework?"
"Daaad!" Spike's whining voice only gets him a stern look and he scowls. "No." Then a sly smile crooks his lips. "You wanna give me a lesson?"
"Spike!" But Angel can't help laughing. "Go get your books and do your homework while I clean up." Running his fingers through Spike's soft hair he tugs him closer and gives him a kiss. "And then we'll see about that lesson."
Spike sucks in his breath, his cock hardening instantly.
------------------
It takes Angel three tries to wake the boy up Monday morning. He frowns when he sees how tired Will is. They probably shouldn’t have been at it until so late last night. He thinks he can still feel the tingle in his hand, the heat of Spike’s red cheeks burning his palm. He probably spanked him a bit harder than he should but the boy squirmed so deliciously on his lap and just thinking about the way Spike begged him is making him hard as a rock. He glances at his watch and scowls. They’re gonna be late and even if he’s aching he’ll have to wait until after school.
Spike finally opens his eyes when Angel kisses him hard, blinking against the light before stretching his arms up and pulling Angel down for another kiss. When Angel finally pulls back they’re both panting, the boy smiling up at him with flushed cheeks and shining eyes. His hair is mussed, his lips swollen and he looks so damn fuckable it’s a sign of his strength that Angel doesn’t just blow off work and school and take him right there and then.
“Morning.”
“Morning, daddy.” Spike yawns and slowly sits up, wincing slightly when his arse makes contact with the bed. Angel feels a sting at guilt and reaches out, stroking Spike’s hair. It’s incredibly soft and slightly damp with sweat. He bets that if he leaned over and inhaled it would smell like his fingers. Like sex.
“You sore, son?”
“It’s okay.” Spike looks up at him and smiles. “It’s a good kind of sore.”
He smiles at that. The boy is so eager to please, so eager to show that it’s no more than he can handle. All of it.
“We’re gonna be late. Hurry up.” Angel turns back at the doorway. “Take a quick shower. It will make you feel better.”
The boy actually pouts, his lower lip jutting forward, pink and swollen, and it’s so adorable and fucking hot that Angel can’t decide whether he wants to cuddle him or push him to his knees.
“But I like smelling like you.”
Angel checks his watch. “Well, if you’re real quick we might have time for a blowjob in the car before I drop you off.”
He has to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud when the kid stumbles out of bed and practically runs to the bathroom. Oh yeah, so eager. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so damn hot.
They make it to school with two minutes to spare. The boy looks almost feverish, his pupils impossibly wide and his cheeks flushed dark pink. He’s still hard - they only really had time for Angel to get his so Spike’s little problem will have to wait - and his clothes are rumbled from where Angel fisted the back of his t-shirt when he came. He gives Angel a pained look and he laughs before reaching out to wipe a spot of come from the corner of Spike’s mouth.
“You keep that hard on until you get home and I’ll reward you real good.”
Spike squirms, shivers running through him as he kneads his erection in an attempt to suppress it. “Dad!”
The bell rings and Angel winks at the boy. “Better run or you’ll be late.”
Spike scowls but reaches back for his school bag. Danny stands waiting for him by the entrance and Spike waves and smiles at him before leaning in through the car window, eyes dark as he licks his lips. “You better fuck me good, daddy, to make it worth it.”
Angel can’t help it, he sucks in his breath, already hard again, and now it’s the boy’s time to smirk.
“Bye, daddy.”
He blows Angel a kiss before turning and jogging across the schoolyard to where Danny is waiting for him. The small boy greets him with a smile but as soon as Spike turns away he shoots Angel a glare. Angel just leers at him and waves before putting the car in gear and driving away. The boy may scowl all he like, Spike will never be his. Not now. Everything’s changed now they’ve finally fucked. Spike is his now, in all possible ways, and that snotty little kid has nothing, nothing, to fight it with.
As he drives to work Angel thinks of all the things they haven’t yet tried. Like toys. Maybe he should do some shopping during his lunch time?
Yeah, life is good.
---------------------------------
From the moment Danny sees him he just knows. Spike is practically bubbling with glee, smiling and laughing at every stupid little thing, his eyes shining more brightly than he can ever remember seeing before. During recess he pulls Danny into the restroom, looking under the stall doors to make sure they’re alone before turning to him, big Cheshire grin on his face, daring him to ask.
Danny tilts his head. “Something you wanna tell me, Spike?”
He feels sudden nausea burn in his throat when his friend starts to giggle and roll his eyes. “Do I really have to?”
“Let me guess…” Your dad fucked your fourteen-year-old virgin ass. “...he gave in?”
“God, Danny! You won’t believe… It was so good! Just… totally amazing. Nothing like…” Spike stops and blushes. “Nothing like I thought it would be.”
“Yeah? That’s why you’re walking funny?”
Spike blushes even deeper at that, averting his eyes briefly before looking back up with a mischievous grin. “Not after the first time. But by the fifth…”
Danny swallows. “Five times? Wow.”
“No, that was when I started to get a little sore. All in all…” Spike frowns in thought. “…oh, probably ten-twelve times. I kinda lost count.” He giggles again, blushing a deep red.
Danny isn’t sure whether he wants to punch Spike or pull him in for a hug and never let him go. “You got to be careful though. To not over do it.” He imagines Spike’s entrance, red and swollen, and his hands clench into fists but Spike just laughs, head thrown back in delight.
“Don’t be silly. You can’t have too much sex. The more you do it, the better it gets.”
“Whatever you say, duck boy.”
Spike frowns at him. “What?”
“You walk like a duck, Spike. You sure he remembered to pull out? Maybe he’s still in there.”
He’s not sure where that comes from, it’s not his style to be cruel. But Spike’s happiness is grating on his nerves, making him want to scream and punch the toilet stalls. He’s not sure if it’s jealousy or anger at Angel for doing this to someone who’s practically his son, not to mention underage, or if he’s more angry with Spike for not seeing how wrong it all is.
Spike’s smile dampens a moment but then it turns soft and he moves forward, making Danny back up until he’s pressed against the door.
“I still like you, Danny. It’s okay.”
“That’s not-“
His protests drown in Spike’s mouth and he can’t help it, he opens up, allowing Spike to slip his tongue inside. Spike tastes strange, a hint of salt behind the usual taste of toast and orange juice and it hits Danny like a fist in his gut when he realises what it is. He tries to pull back but Spike’s hand is curled behind his neck, pressing him close and…
God help him, he just loves him so much.
Spike’s thigh slips in between Danny’s knees, pressing hard up against his groin and he gasps out loud. They can’t do this. Not here, not now when everything’s changed. Not when he knows he’s lost, that the only way he’ll ever be able to get Spike away from his dad is to report him and however much he wants to he just can’t. It would break Spike’s heart and even more importantly it will surely break their friendship. And despite the ache in his heart and the guilt tearing at him for letting this all happen without doing anything about it, he just can’t lose him completely. It hurts, so damn much, but something is better than nothing, and he’ll take what he can. Even if it kills him.
He’s gasping for air, hands clutching Spike’s shoulder as Spike sucks at his neck and grinds harder and faster against his straining erection. Then suddenly he steps slightly back and Danny almost falls forward.
“Wha…?”
The hand slipping inside his loose khaki pants is so warm , the slender fingers wrapping themselves around his cock with more certainty than ever before and knowing the reason why makes him want to cry.
“That good?” Spike is breathing hard against his neck, jerking him off with sure and steady strokes. “Do you like it hard, like this? That’s what daddy likes. Hard and fast.”
Danny closes his eyes. It shouldn’t have this effect on him. He should be disgusted but Spike’s hoarse voice and his filthy words only make him harder and he suddenly has a flash image from that day, Angel’s dark eyes watching him, his monster paws cupping Spike’s cheeks underneath his jeans.
“Just the way he likes fucking. We begin all slow, and then, when I’m going insane from his teasing, he speeds up until he’s slamming into me, fucking me so hard I think I’ll split open. It’s almost too much but it’s sooo good.”
Oh God. I don’t want to hear. I don’t want to want to hear. Please, God, stop.
“He says my name, over and over again. ‘WillWillWill… Yeah, baby, you’re so tight. So tight.’ And then, when he comes? He. Yells. So. Loud.”
Danny comes with a strangled cry, his fist in his mouth as he spills over Spike’s hand and onto the floor. Spike keeps jerking him until Danny sobs and grabs his wrist. “Please, Spike, stop.”
They stand panting for the longest time, Danny’s eyes still closed where he leans his head against the door, Spike resting his forehead on Danny’s shoulder. Recess is surely over a long time ago and anyone could walk in on them any minute but he just can’t seem to care. This is so fucked up. So totally fucked up.
He tries to fight it, pulling in a deep breath to try and gain control but it just hiccups out of him in a sob and his shoulders start shaking. He hasn’t cried in years, not since his mom told him about the cancer two years ago, but something inside him is breaking and he just can’t fight it. Everything is so wrong and Spike just doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand what he’s doing.
“Danny?”
Spike is pulling back, hand falling from Danny’s limp dick. All cockiness is gone from his voice and he sounds young and scared.
“Danny, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Did I…?”
He shakes his head but he can’t speak and he can’t open his eyes. He wishes he was at home, smoking his mother’s weed and listening to The Moody Blues with nothing more on his mind than how to play that guitar riff or catch that note. Anything but being right here, right now, having his heart broken into a million little pieces, feeling disgusted with himself for what he’s done.
“Danny, please. I’m sorry. I don’t know… Say something.”
Danny shoves his dick back into his pants, still not opening his eyes. “I gotta go.” He fumbles for the door handle behind him and turns the knob, finally opening his eyes but not able to look at Spike. “I need to go home. Now.”
“Danny! Don’t… don’t go. Please! I’m sorry. I thought you wanted it. That you wanted me.”
He stops in his tracks, breathing hard. “Spike… I do want you. I just… I need to go home.”
He’s halfway through the woods when he realises he forgot his jacket and backpack. He doesn’t stop though, just keeps on running until he gets home, slipping quietly inside and up the stairs. His mother is sleeping and if he’s lucky she won’t even notice he’s back until it’s time for him to be back from school.
He crawls into bed and cries until his body finally gives into exhaustion and he falls asleep.
------------------------
“Hey. How was-?” His dad stops mid-sentence and narrows his eyes at him. “What’s wrong?”
Everything. Everything’s wrong. He’d been adamant to tell Danny they couldn’t do stuff like that anymore but as soon he saw him all he wanted to do was kiss him. His blood had been buzzing from his dad’s teasing that morning and then, when they’d started talking about sex… There had been something in Danny’s eyes, something he’d thought was hunger but now he’s not so sure anymore, but it screamed at him, making it impossible not to touch him. And it had been so good, so hot. But then everything went bad, so bad, and now he doesn’t know what to do. What if Danny hates him? What if he’s ruined everything?
“Nothing. I had a… a fight with Danny.”
God, he’d been crying. He didn’t even know Danny could cry. He always seemed so calm, so totally relaxed and laid back but… He’d just looked so broken. Why? What had he done?
“Fight? What about?”
His head snaps up at his dad’s sharp voice and he panics. His dad doesn’t know Danny knows. He has to think of something, anything. “Homework.”
Angel frowns. “You had a fight about homework?”
“He wanted to copy my work and I didn’t want him to. I could get into trouble.”
God, he feels like a total jerk for lying like that, for smearing Danny like that. Like he even gives a shit about homework. Like he wouldn’t let Danny copy whatever he wanted.
His dad sighs and lays a hand on his thigh. “Spike, he shouldn’t copy your homework but I’m sure it’s not worth fighting over, right? You should call him when we get home.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I should.” He swallows. “Or maybe I should… Maybe I should just go see him? I said some pretty bad things.”
Angel gives him a puzzled look. “That doesn’t sound like you.”
“I just got mad, dad. I didn’t mean any of it. But…” He looks away. “He’s my only friend. And now maybe he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.”
His dad sits silent for a while and then he rubs Spike’s thigh soothingly. “I’m sure he’ll forgive you. But you’re right, it’s better to do it in person. I’ll drop you off at his house but I want you home by nine.” He glances over at Spike as his hand moves further up, thumb flicking over Spike’s cock. “I have something I want to show you.”
He manages a small smile, the warmth of his daddy’s hand sending shivers up his spine. “Okay.” He bites his lip and lifts his hips slightly to meet his dad’s strokes. “I did as you told me. Been hard for you all day.”
It’s not true but the lie is worth seeing Angel smile at him like that.
“Good boy.”
The words go straight to his cock and the twitch in his pants makes his dad smile widen even further.
“I could… I could suck you off before we get there. If you want.”
Angel looks over at him, his cheeks mildly flushed. Then he reaches out and cups Spike’s neck, nodding slightly before pushing him down into his lap.
For some reason it isn’t nearly as fun as it was this morning.
---------------------
Danny’s mum throws him a smile that makes his heart ache. “William! How nice to see you. Danny’s upstairs.” She opens the door wider, stepping aside to let him in.
He just nods, blushing when she gives him a scrutinising look.
“You boys fight? He’s been listening to The Moody Blues ever since he got home. To Danny that’s like therapy.”
Spike swallows, unable to look at her. “Is he mad?”
“Oh honey, he’ll be okay. Whatever it is, my Danny’s never been able to hold a grudge. I’m sure as soon as he sees you’re here he’ll forget all about whatever it was you fought about.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” He toes off his sneakers and hangs up his jacket, noticing that Danny’s jacket is missing and his stomach twists when he remembers why. He didn’t even bring it to him. Some friend he is.
“Sweetie, you okay? Everything fine with your dad?”
He stares at her, his heart hammering in his chest, but there’s nothing but concern in her eyes and he blinks away his fear. “Yeah. Everything’s great. I’m just tired, I guess.”
“Okay. You know, you can talk to me, Spike. If there’s anything on your mind…”
“There’s nothing. I’m fine. Thank you.” He practically runs up the stairs, fleeing her shrewd eyes.
The door to Danny’s room is closed but he can hear soft music playing from the other side. He hesitates for a minute, hand hovering at the door. Then he knocks and pushes it open.
Danny’s halfway out of bed when he sees who it is and he slumps back, eyes cast down.
“Hey.” Spike shifts awkwardly, then steps inside and closes the door behind him. “You okay?”
“What are you doing here?” Danny still isn’t looking at him, fingers fiddling with a loose thread in the bedspread.
“I wanted … I came to say I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He steps closer, the lump in his throat so big he can hardly talk. “I shouldn’t have-“
“Why did you? Why did…?” Danny finally looks up at him. His eyes are glittering, his lips tight. “What do you want from me? What am I to you?”
“Danny… I…” He swallows. He has no idea how to answer that. “You said… You said you didn’t mind sharing.”
Danny shakes his head. “I was wrong. I can’t… I can’t do this, Spike.”
“Can’t do what?” Don’t do this. Please. His heart is beating fast, thumping inside his chest like a jackhammer.
“Can’t watch you throw your life away for something so…” Danny throws his hands up in sudden anger. “He’s your dad, Spike!”
Spike feels his face flush, his whole body going rigid. “He’s just my stepdad. We’re not even related.”
“It doesn’t matter. He’s still… You’re just fourteen!”
“I’ll be fifteen in a few weeks. And that didn’t seem to bother you when it was you with your hands down my pants!” He’s yelling, fear and anger making him tremble and his hands closed into fists.
Danny stares at him, the flush draining from his face until he looks as pale as a corpse. He slumps back, one hand fumbling at his chest as if he’s trying to shelter his heart.
“I’m sorry. Danny, I didn’t mean it.” Spike blinks as his eyes fill with water.
“You’re right.” Danny’s voice is hoarse, his eyes unfocused. “I shouldn’t have. Maybe you should go. Maybe you should stay away from me.”
“No! I’m sorry. Please, Danny, no. You’re my only friend. My only friend.”
“No. This… this won’t work.” Danny shakes his head absently, voice distant. “I can’t… No.”
Spike stares at him. Everything is gone wrong. He’s ruined everything and now Danny hates him. Danny… Danny hates him. “Danny?” Please. Please, don’t.
“No. Go. Go, Spike. Go!”
Spike finally breaks through the invisible barrier separating them as he rushes across the room, throwing himself at Danny in desperation. “Don’t push me away. Don’t leave me. Please, Danny. Pleasepleaseplease.”
“I can’t do this, Spike. I can’t! You need to go. Please. Just go. Go.”
“No! Don’t! Danny, please!”
This can’t be happening. Nonono. He’s crying, his breath turning into shallow gasps and he clutches at Danny’s shirt, clinging to him as if his life depended on it. “Pleasepleaseplease...” Each word lessens the air in his lungs, his efforts of replacing it becoming a desperate struggle but he can’t stop, it’s all he has left. He can feel his head starting to spin, pain spreading through his chest. “Pleasepleaseplease…”
“Spike… Spike?” The distant tone disappears from Danny’s voice, replaced by fear. “Hey, no. No no. Don’t… Sshh, calm down. Come on, Spike. Breathe.”
“I can’t… I can’t…” His eyes widen in panic. He really can’t breathe. He can’t… The room is turning dark, everything hurts, and still all he wants is to hear that Danny forgives him. “Please…” he whispers as Danny’s terrified face starts to blur. He’s saying something but Spike can’t hear him, the blood whooshing too loudly in his ears.
“I won’t leave you. I’m sorry. God, Spike, I’m so sorry. Don’t get sick. Don’t… Spike? Spike!”
The lights turn off just as he hears Danny scream, “MOM!”
-------------------------
Fuck. Angel throws the cell on the seat beside him, fumbling in the glove apartment for the charger. He forgot to charge it all weekend, forgot to check it this morning, and it’s been lying dead in his jacket pocket all day without him noticing. He’d gone to the mall after dropping Spike off at Danny’s, browsing the shops for some small gift to give Martha for her birthday next Thursday. She always tells him he doesn’t have to buy her anything but the one time he hadn’t she’d hardly spoken to him in days. Women. Finally he’d settled on a box of assorted Godiva chocolates. She’ll scold him for trying to fatten her and then she’ll eat every one of them with a blissful look on his face.
While walking to the car, he’d realised how late it was and checked his phone for missed calls, since Spike should have called him up by then. Except his phone was dead. Fuck.
He plugs it into the lighter slot and turns it on. Pushing in the PIN code and waiting impatiently for it to register and give him a signal. It takes forever and he’s growling with irritation when it finally connects but before he can look up the number for Danny’s house the phone is bleeping, lights flashing. Five missed calls, messages waiting on his voicemail. What the hell?
“Hello? This is Danny’s mother. William had another episode. It looks bad and I’m not sure what to do. Please call me.”
Beep.
“It’s Danny’s mom again. I’ve tried reaching you at home and the police station. William isn’t getting better. I’m going to take him to the ER. I’m sure it’s nothing serious but I’d hate to risk it. Please call me or meet me there.”
Beep.
“Mr. O’Connor? This is at St. John’s Hospital. We have your son here at the ER and really need you to come in as soon as possible. He’s not in danger but we need to talk to you.”
Beep.
“Angel? It’s Martha. They just called me about Spike. What’s going on? Call me.”
Beep.
“Dad? Danny’s mum loaned me her-her phone. I- I didn’t tell them anything, I swear. I didn’t mean to get sick, daddy. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad. Please, daddy. They keep asking me questions but-but I’m not telling. I’m not saying anything. I love you. I love you so much. Please, dad. I wanna go home. Can you please come? Please da- I gotta go.”
Beeeeep.
Silence.
His heart beats. Baboom. Baboom. Baboom.
Slowly he undoes his seatbelt, opens the car door and leans out. Vomits. A woman walking by stops, watching him with concern. He looks up. She has blond hair and blue eyes. His head drops and he throws up again, brownish thick liquid running across the asphalt and disappearing under the car.
“You all right? Sir? You need any help?”
He doesn’t answer, just waves her away with a lame gesture.
“You sure?”
He nods. Then waits until the sound of her heels clicking on the pavement fades away before sitting slowly up, blank eyes staring out the window.
It’s over.
On to the epilogue.
It's been almost two years since I posted this story last. I never meant for it to be so long, both the hiatus and the story to tell the truth. I hope I haven't lost all of you. And to those of you who have never read this and have no idea what it is... I suggest you read the warnings first. This is a very dark ride.
This is the last chapter. This is the end. Well, there is an epilogue which will be posted tomorrow so technically that will be the end. I don't suppose you'll all be happy with this but really, there was no other way. So... enjoy. Or not.
Title: Just Watching, Chapter 25
Author: felisblanco
Pairings/characters: Spike/Angel, Spike/Danny, OFCs
Rating: NC-17++
Summary: Spike is Angel's teenaged stepson. Sex happens. And that is the worst summary ever.
Warnings: AU Human. Underage sex, step!incest, non-con, daddy!kink, spanking, angstangstangstx100
Author's Note: Thanks to evilmaniclaugh for looking it over when I was feeling unsure and telling me it was in fact not that bad. *smooch* I'm going to write a proper author's note after the epilogue, in case anyone is interested.
Previous chapters are here.
Slowly he breaks out of the depths of sleep and opens his eyes, blinking at first in confusion. His mum is watching him, a happy smile on her face. He smiles back and reaches out to stroke her check. The glass feels cold under his fingertips. We made it. We made it, mum. You don’t have to worry about us because we’re happy and together and everything is good.
An arm slides around his waist and he turns over, snuggling into his dad’s warm embrace. The movement brings a sharp sting to his backside and he can’t help wincing.
“Will?” Angel looks at him groggily.
“Hey, dad.” He gives him a big smile to show him how happy he is, how insignificant a little pain is on this glorious day. They kiss, tongues still dry and sticky with sleep. Then Angel pulls away and looks at him, affectionately brushing stray curls away from his face.
“Hey. How are you feeling?”
“Happy. So happy, daddy.”
His wide smile makes Angel laugh and they kiss again, snuggling up even closer.
“Does it hurt… anywhere? Don’t hesitate to tell me.”
His eyes flicker away. He doesn’t want anything to spoil this but he doesn’t want to lie either. “Just a little. It’s ok, I don’t mind. Honestly.”
“Let me have a look.”
He closes his eyes as his dad slides down the bed, hands shooting electric charges through his skin as they run down his body. Moving his limbs like an action figure into the positions he’s put. Knees up, legs apart, bum up.
“I’m all right. Dad, I’m a… nngh!”
The soothing tongue licks away all traces of hurt, replacing them with only memories of last night’s bliss. He shivers, eyes rolling up in his head. Small gasps escape from his lips and without really noticing what he’s doing he starts pushing down, silently begging for deeper, harder, moremoremore! But the tongue is evil, too soft, too kind. It laps at his entrance, turning it into a pool of infuriating pleasure. Finally he can’t take it anymore.
“Dad! Please!”
The licking stops and he want to scream.
“Want more, baby? Want me to suck you?”
“Ye-yes! Please!”
His dad starts licking his way up his cock that’s bouncing against his belly, making it glisten with sticky precum. “You’re so beautiful, baby. So beautiful. Love the way you taste.”
“Love you. Love you, daddy.”
His fingers tighten, twisting the sheet in his fists. He’s on the brink of begging his dad to stop, yelling that it’s too much but then a finger slides gently inside him and he’s coming hard, his arse lifting up from the bed, thrusting his cock deeper and deeper down his dad’s throat as the crooked finger teases that special spot.
Afterwards he lies limp like a rag doll, just expanding his chest to breathe is too much of an effort. The only muscles that seem to work are the ones tugging his lips into a smile. His dad is in the bathroom, showering. The sound of the running water is lulling Spike into a half-slumber, loving words and happy images floating through his mind.
Angel told him to just relax. He’ll call him in sick at school, he has the day off himself. They can spend the rest of the day in bed or snuggling in front of the telly. And tomorrow is the weekend. So three days with nothing to do but kiss and cuddle. And have lots of sex. The small smile turns into a huge grin. Yeah, lots and lots of sex.
Now they’ve done it he just wants to do it again and again. God, it was incredible! He doesn’t even remember that small pain anymore. Just the stars and the feeling of dying just a little from the intense pleasure. Who knew it could be like that? Wait till he tells Danny or better yet shows him…
Suddenly he doesn’t feel so great anymore. Here he is, still covered in his father’s kisses, and he’s thinking of doing it all over again but with Danny? How can he be so bad, so evil? He suddenly feels cold, the sweat on his skin turning to ice. Daddy. All he needs is his daddy. No more kissing Danny in the restrooms between classes, no more touching under the desks, no more jerking each other off in the dark corner under the stairs.
“Want me to run you a bath?”
He jumps, certain that the guilt is written upon his face. “Sorry. I think I dozed off.”
His daddy only smiles and walks over to kiss him. “You just sleep, baby.” He runs a finger down Spike’s chest. “Need to keep your strength for later.”
Spike’s eyes widen, and his dad laughs, ruffling his hair before he walks out. He’s humming some pop song out of tune and Spike smiles to himself. Yes, this is all he wants, all he needs. This is happiness. He’s sure Danny will understand.
The weekend goes by much too fast. They spend most of it in bed, cuddling or talking and then making love again and again. Spike’s tender the first few times but his daddy always goes slowly at first, waiting until Spike’s so far beyond feeling anything but intense pleasure before picking up the speed. Spike likes the slow and gentle lovemaking but he’s beginning to love the hard fast fucking even more. It leaves him euphoric, so high with adrenalin and lust that he can hardly breathe. After each time he’s left shaking and gasping for breath, clinging to his dad’s broad frame like letting go will make him shatter. He’s said, “I love you,” more times than he can remember and still it never means less than the first time, in fact it means more, those simple three words containing his whole world.
They eat pancakes in bed, licking syrup of each other’s skin. They share a shower to get rid off the sticky sugar, Spike falling down on his knees as soon as his father’s heavy hand falls on his shoulder. He stares up at his dad as he swallows him down, watching his eyes close and his head fall back and this, this is his place. Forever and ever and fuck the whole world for disagreeing.
Sunday evening he’s exhausted and sore all over. His jaw aches to the point that he’s having trouble eating, his throat’s swollen and bruised as he swallows. There are bruises on his knees, teeth marks on his shoulder and it hurts every time he goes to the bathroom.
It doesn’t matter. It’s worth it. All of it.
His dad is frying burgers when he walks into the kitchen, the smell of onions and meat making his mouth water. When he slips his arms around his daddy’s waist the bare back is warm and smooth against his cheek.
“Hey there. Have a nice nap?”
“Yeah.” He tightens his hold, closing his eyes. “Thank you.”
His dad stills, spatula hovering over the frying pan. They both know he’s not talking about the food or that his daddy let him sleep the better part of the day.
“You’re welcome, son.”
“I love you so much.”
Putting the spatula aside Angel turns around and puts his arms around Spike’s thin shoulders, pulling him close. “Love you too, baby. Love you so very much.”
They stand like that until the smell of burning makes his daddy jerk awake and curse as he pulls the pan off the stove.
“Shit.”
Spike freezes, his heart picking up in his chest. He waits for his daddy to continue, to tell him that it’s his fault for distracting him. When the words don’t come he blinks and takes a step back. His throat contracts and he’s not sure where to look. Thankfully his dad doesn’t notice anything and just flips the burgers, pouting slightly as he scratches at the blackened surface with the edge of the spatula.
“Don’t think I’ll win this year’s cooking award either.” He glances over at Spike with a smile, which falters slightly as he takes in the look on Spike’s face. “What? What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, daddy. Are they ruined? Did I ruin them?”
His dad blinks, a frown forming between his eyebrows. “Will, it wasn’t your fault. They’re just burgers. A little burn doesn’t ruin them.” He shakes his head in bemusement and turns back to the stove. “Get the plates, will you?”
Spike sighs in relief and goes to fetch the plates and utensils. There are no clean glasses so he washes two and dries them before placing them on the table. His dad starts whistling as he warms the buns and Spike feels the euphoria return. He feels giddy, now the danger has passed, and giggles when one of the buns falls off the plate and onto the floor.
“Laughing at your old man, are you?” His dad is smiling and he grins back, quirking his eyebrow and wiggling his tongue. They both laugh and his dad slaps his arse playfully.
They eat, talking about everything from books to music, about the new video games and the football game they watched together last night. Spike wonders if it’s possible to burst with happiness. If it is he’s sure he’s going to blow up any minute now.
“Have you done your homework?"
"Daaad!" Spike's whining voice only gets him a stern look and he scowls. "No." Then a sly smile crooks his lips. "You wanna give me a lesson?"
"Spike!" But Angel can't help laughing. "Go get your books and do your homework while I clean up." Running his fingers through Spike's soft hair he tugs him closer and gives him a kiss. "And then we'll see about that lesson."
Spike sucks in his breath, his cock hardening instantly.
------------------
It takes Angel three tries to wake the boy up Monday morning. He frowns when he sees how tired Will is. They probably shouldn’t have been at it until so late last night. He thinks he can still feel the tingle in his hand, the heat of Spike’s red cheeks burning his palm. He probably spanked him a bit harder than he should but the boy squirmed so deliciously on his lap and just thinking about the way Spike begged him is making him hard as a rock. He glances at his watch and scowls. They’re gonna be late and even if he’s aching he’ll have to wait until after school.
Spike finally opens his eyes when Angel kisses him hard, blinking against the light before stretching his arms up and pulling Angel down for another kiss. When Angel finally pulls back they’re both panting, the boy smiling up at him with flushed cheeks and shining eyes. His hair is mussed, his lips swollen and he looks so damn fuckable it’s a sign of his strength that Angel doesn’t just blow off work and school and take him right there and then.
“Morning.”
“Morning, daddy.” Spike yawns and slowly sits up, wincing slightly when his arse makes contact with the bed. Angel feels a sting at guilt and reaches out, stroking Spike’s hair. It’s incredibly soft and slightly damp with sweat. He bets that if he leaned over and inhaled it would smell like his fingers. Like sex.
“You sore, son?”
“It’s okay.” Spike looks up at him and smiles. “It’s a good kind of sore.”
He smiles at that. The boy is so eager to please, so eager to show that it’s no more than he can handle. All of it.
“We’re gonna be late. Hurry up.” Angel turns back at the doorway. “Take a quick shower. It will make you feel better.”
The boy actually pouts, his lower lip jutting forward, pink and swollen, and it’s so adorable and fucking hot that Angel can’t decide whether he wants to cuddle him or push him to his knees.
“But I like smelling like you.”
Angel checks his watch. “Well, if you’re real quick we might have time for a blowjob in the car before I drop you off.”
He has to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud when the kid stumbles out of bed and practically runs to the bathroom. Oh yeah, so eager. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so damn hot.
They make it to school with two minutes to spare. The boy looks almost feverish, his pupils impossibly wide and his cheeks flushed dark pink. He’s still hard - they only really had time for Angel to get his so Spike’s little problem will have to wait - and his clothes are rumbled from where Angel fisted the back of his t-shirt when he came. He gives Angel a pained look and he laughs before reaching out to wipe a spot of come from the corner of Spike’s mouth.
“You keep that hard on until you get home and I’ll reward you real good.”
Spike squirms, shivers running through him as he kneads his erection in an attempt to suppress it. “Dad!”
The bell rings and Angel winks at the boy. “Better run or you’ll be late.”
Spike scowls but reaches back for his school bag. Danny stands waiting for him by the entrance and Spike waves and smiles at him before leaning in through the car window, eyes dark as he licks his lips. “You better fuck me good, daddy, to make it worth it.”
Angel can’t help it, he sucks in his breath, already hard again, and now it’s the boy’s time to smirk.
“Bye, daddy.”
He blows Angel a kiss before turning and jogging across the schoolyard to where Danny is waiting for him. The small boy greets him with a smile but as soon as Spike turns away he shoots Angel a glare. Angel just leers at him and waves before putting the car in gear and driving away. The boy may scowl all he like, Spike will never be his. Not now. Everything’s changed now they’ve finally fucked. Spike is his now, in all possible ways, and that snotty little kid has nothing, nothing, to fight it with.
As he drives to work Angel thinks of all the things they haven’t yet tried. Like toys. Maybe he should do some shopping during his lunch time?
Yeah, life is good.
---------------------------------
From the moment Danny sees him he just knows. Spike is practically bubbling with glee, smiling and laughing at every stupid little thing, his eyes shining more brightly than he can ever remember seeing before. During recess he pulls Danny into the restroom, looking under the stall doors to make sure they’re alone before turning to him, big Cheshire grin on his face, daring him to ask.
Danny tilts his head. “Something you wanna tell me, Spike?”
He feels sudden nausea burn in his throat when his friend starts to giggle and roll his eyes. “Do I really have to?”
“Let me guess…” Your dad fucked your fourteen-year-old virgin ass. “...he gave in?”
“God, Danny! You won’t believe… It was so good! Just… totally amazing. Nothing like…” Spike stops and blushes. “Nothing like I thought it would be.”
“Yeah? That’s why you’re walking funny?”
Spike blushes even deeper at that, averting his eyes briefly before looking back up with a mischievous grin. “Not after the first time. But by the fifth…”
Danny swallows. “Five times? Wow.”
“No, that was when I started to get a little sore. All in all…” Spike frowns in thought. “…oh, probably ten-twelve times. I kinda lost count.” He giggles again, blushing a deep red.
Danny isn’t sure whether he wants to punch Spike or pull him in for a hug and never let him go. “You got to be careful though. To not over do it.” He imagines Spike’s entrance, red and swollen, and his hands clench into fists but Spike just laughs, head thrown back in delight.
“Don’t be silly. You can’t have too much sex. The more you do it, the better it gets.”
“Whatever you say, duck boy.”
Spike frowns at him. “What?”
“You walk like a duck, Spike. You sure he remembered to pull out? Maybe he’s still in there.”
He’s not sure where that comes from, it’s not his style to be cruel. But Spike’s happiness is grating on his nerves, making him want to scream and punch the toilet stalls. He’s not sure if it’s jealousy or anger at Angel for doing this to someone who’s practically his son, not to mention underage, or if he’s more angry with Spike for not seeing how wrong it all is.
Spike’s smile dampens a moment but then it turns soft and he moves forward, making Danny back up until he’s pressed against the door.
“I still like you, Danny. It’s okay.”
“That’s not-“
His protests drown in Spike’s mouth and he can’t help it, he opens up, allowing Spike to slip his tongue inside. Spike tastes strange, a hint of salt behind the usual taste of toast and orange juice and it hits Danny like a fist in his gut when he realises what it is. He tries to pull back but Spike’s hand is curled behind his neck, pressing him close and…
God help him, he just loves him so much.
Spike’s thigh slips in between Danny’s knees, pressing hard up against his groin and he gasps out loud. They can’t do this. Not here, not now when everything’s changed. Not when he knows he’s lost, that the only way he’ll ever be able to get Spike away from his dad is to report him and however much he wants to he just can’t. It would break Spike’s heart and even more importantly it will surely break their friendship. And despite the ache in his heart and the guilt tearing at him for letting this all happen without doing anything about it, he just can’t lose him completely. It hurts, so damn much, but something is better than nothing, and he’ll take what he can. Even if it kills him.
He’s gasping for air, hands clutching Spike’s shoulder as Spike sucks at his neck and grinds harder and faster against his straining erection. Then suddenly he steps slightly back and Danny almost falls forward.
“Wha…?”
The hand slipping inside his loose khaki pants is so warm , the slender fingers wrapping themselves around his cock with more certainty than ever before and knowing the reason why makes him want to cry.
“That good?” Spike is breathing hard against his neck, jerking him off with sure and steady strokes. “Do you like it hard, like this? That’s what daddy likes. Hard and fast.”
Danny closes his eyes. It shouldn’t have this effect on him. He should be disgusted but Spike’s hoarse voice and his filthy words only make him harder and he suddenly has a flash image from that day, Angel’s dark eyes watching him, his monster paws cupping Spike’s cheeks underneath his jeans.
“Just the way he likes fucking. We begin all slow, and then, when I’m going insane from his teasing, he speeds up until he’s slamming into me, fucking me so hard I think I’ll split open. It’s almost too much but it’s sooo good.”
Oh God. I don’t want to hear. I don’t want to want to hear. Please, God, stop.
“He says my name, over and over again. ‘WillWillWill… Yeah, baby, you’re so tight. So tight.’ And then, when he comes? He. Yells. So. Loud.”
Danny comes with a strangled cry, his fist in his mouth as he spills over Spike’s hand and onto the floor. Spike keeps jerking him until Danny sobs and grabs his wrist. “Please, Spike, stop.”
They stand panting for the longest time, Danny’s eyes still closed where he leans his head against the door, Spike resting his forehead on Danny’s shoulder. Recess is surely over a long time ago and anyone could walk in on them any minute but he just can’t seem to care. This is so fucked up. So totally fucked up.
He tries to fight it, pulling in a deep breath to try and gain control but it just hiccups out of him in a sob and his shoulders start shaking. He hasn’t cried in years, not since his mom told him about the cancer two years ago, but something inside him is breaking and he just can’t fight it. Everything is so wrong and Spike just doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand what he’s doing.
“Danny?”
Spike is pulling back, hand falling from Danny’s limp dick. All cockiness is gone from his voice and he sounds young and scared.
“Danny, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Did I…?”
He shakes his head but he can’t speak and he can’t open his eyes. He wishes he was at home, smoking his mother’s weed and listening to The Moody Blues with nothing more on his mind than how to play that guitar riff or catch that note. Anything but being right here, right now, having his heart broken into a million little pieces, feeling disgusted with himself for what he’s done.
“Danny, please. I’m sorry. I don’t know… Say something.”
Danny shoves his dick back into his pants, still not opening his eyes. “I gotta go.” He fumbles for the door handle behind him and turns the knob, finally opening his eyes but not able to look at Spike. “I need to go home. Now.”
“Danny! Don’t… don’t go. Please! I’m sorry. I thought you wanted it. That you wanted me.”
He stops in his tracks, breathing hard. “Spike… I do want you. I just… I need to go home.”
He’s halfway through the woods when he realises he forgot his jacket and backpack. He doesn’t stop though, just keeps on running until he gets home, slipping quietly inside and up the stairs. His mother is sleeping and if he’s lucky she won’t even notice he’s back until it’s time for him to be back from school.
He crawls into bed and cries until his body finally gives into exhaustion and he falls asleep.
------------------------
“Hey. How was-?” His dad stops mid-sentence and narrows his eyes at him. “What’s wrong?”
Everything. Everything’s wrong. He’d been adamant to tell Danny they couldn’t do stuff like that anymore but as soon he saw him all he wanted to do was kiss him. His blood had been buzzing from his dad’s teasing that morning and then, when they’d started talking about sex… There had been something in Danny’s eyes, something he’d thought was hunger but now he’s not so sure anymore, but it screamed at him, making it impossible not to touch him. And it had been so good, so hot. But then everything went bad, so bad, and now he doesn’t know what to do. What if Danny hates him? What if he’s ruined everything?
“Nothing. I had a… a fight with Danny.”
God, he’d been crying. He didn’t even know Danny could cry. He always seemed so calm, so totally relaxed and laid back but… He’d just looked so broken. Why? What had he done?
“Fight? What about?”
His head snaps up at his dad’s sharp voice and he panics. His dad doesn’t know Danny knows. He has to think of something, anything. “Homework.”
Angel frowns. “You had a fight about homework?”
“He wanted to copy my work and I didn’t want him to. I could get into trouble.”
God, he feels like a total jerk for lying like that, for smearing Danny like that. Like he even gives a shit about homework. Like he wouldn’t let Danny copy whatever he wanted.
His dad sighs and lays a hand on his thigh. “Spike, he shouldn’t copy your homework but I’m sure it’s not worth fighting over, right? You should call him when we get home.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I should.” He swallows. “Or maybe I should… Maybe I should just go see him? I said some pretty bad things.”
Angel gives him a puzzled look. “That doesn’t sound like you.”
“I just got mad, dad. I didn’t mean any of it. But…” He looks away. “He’s my only friend. And now maybe he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.”
His dad sits silent for a while and then he rubs Spike’s thigh soothingly. “I’m sure he’ll forgive you. But you’re right, it’s better to do it in person. I’ll drop you off at his house but I want you home by nine.” He glances over at Spike as his hand moves further up, thumb flicking over Spike’s cock. “I have something I want to show you.”
He manages a small smile, the warmth of his daddy’s hand sending shivers up his spine. “Okay.” He bites his lip and lifts his hips slightly to meet his dad’s strokes. “I did as you told me. Been hard for you all day.”
It’s not true but the lie is worth seeing Angel smile at him like that.
“Good boy.”
The words go straight to his cock and the twitch in his pants makes his dad smile widen even further.
“I could… I could suck you off before we get there. If you want.”
Angel looks over at him, his cheeks mildly flushed. Then he reaches out and cups Spike’s neck, nodding slightly before pushing him down into his lap.
For some reason it isn’t nearly as fun as it was this morning.
---------------------
Danny’s mum throws him a smile that makes his heart ache. “William! How nice to see you. Danny’s upstairs.” She opens the door wider, stepping aside to let him in.
He just nods, blushing when she gives him a scrutinising look.
“You boys fight? He’s been listening to The Moody Blues ever since he got home. To Danny that’s like therapy.”
Spike swallows, unable to look at her. “Is he mad?”
“Oh honey, he’ll be okay. Whatever it is, my Danny’s never been able to hold a grudge. I’m sure as soon as he sees you’re here he’ll forget all about whatever it was you fought about.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” He toes off his sneakers and hangs up his jacket, noticing that Danny’s jacket is missing and his stomach twists when he remembers why. He didn’t even bring it to him. Some friend he is.
“Sweetie, you okay? Everything fine with your dad?”
He stares at her, his heart hammering in his chest, but there’s nothing but concern in her eyes and he blinks away his fear. “Yeah. Everything’s great. I’m just tired, I guess.”
“Okay. You know, you can talk to me, Spike. If there’s anything on your mind…”
“There’s nothing. I’m fine. Thank you.” He practically runs up the stairs, fleeing her shrewd eyes.
The door to Danny’s room is closed but he can hear soft music playing from the other side. He hesitates for a minute, hand hovering at the door. Then he knocks and pushes it open.
Danny’s halfway out of bed when he sees who it is and he slumps back, eyes cast down.
“Hey.” Spike shifts awkwardly, then steps inside and closes the door behind him. “You okay?”
“What are you doing here?” Danny still isn’t looking at him, fingers fiddling with a loose thread in the bedspread.
“I wanted … I came to say I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He steps closer, the lump in his throat so big he can hardly talk. “I shouldn’t have-“
“Why did you? Why did…?” Danny finally looks up at him. His eyes are glittering, his lips tight. “What do you want from me? What am I to you?”
“Danny… I…” He swallows. He has no idea how to answer that. “You said… You said you didn’t mind sharing.”
Danny shakes his head. “I was wrong. I can’t… I can’t do this, Spike.”
“Can’t do what?” Don’t do this. Please. His heart is beating fast, thumping inside his chest like a jackhammer.
“Can’t watch you throw your life away for something so…” Danny throws his hands up in sudden anger. “He’s your dad, Spike!”
Spike feels his face flush, his whole body going rigid. “He’s just my stepdad. We’re not even related.”
“It doesn’t matter. He’s still… You’re just fourteen!”
“I’ll be fifteen in a few weeks. And that didn’t seem to bother you when it was you with your hands down my pants!” He’s yelling, fear and anger making him tremble and his hands closed into fists.
Danny stares at him, the flush draining from his face until he looks as pale as a corpse. He slumps back, one hand fumbling at his chest as if he’s trying to shelter his heart.
“I’m sorry. Danny, I didn’t mean it.” Spike blinks as his eyes fill with water.
“You’re right.” Danny’s voice is hoarse, his eyes unfocused. “I shouldn’t have. Maybe you should go. Maybe you should stay away from me.”
“No! I’m sorry. Please, Danny, no. You’re my only friend. My only friend.”
“No. This… this won’t work.” Danny shakes his head absently, voice distant. “I can’t… No.”
Spike stares at him. Everything is gone wrong. He’s ruined everything and now Danny hates him. Danny… Danny hates him. “Danny?” Please. Please, don’t.
“No. Go. Go, Spike. Go!”
Spike finally breaks through the invisible barrier separating them as he rushes across the room, throwing himself at Danny in desperation. “Don’t push me away. Don’t leave me. Please, Danny. Pleasepleaseplease.”
“I can’t do this, Spike. I can’t! You need to go. Please. Just go. Go.”
“No! Don’t! Danny, please!”
This can’t be happening. Nonono. He’s crying, his breath turning into shallow gasps and he clutches at Danny’s shirt, clinging to him as if his life depended on it. “Pleasepleaseplease...” Each word lessens the air in his lungs, his efforts of replacing it becoming a desperate struggle but he can’t stop, it’s all he has left. He can feel his head starting to spin, pain spreading through his chest. “Pleasepleaseplease…”
“Spike… Spike?” The distant tone disappears from Danny’s voice, replaced by fear. “Hey, no. No no. Don’t… Sshh, calm down. Come on, Spike. Breathe.”
“I can’t… I can’t…” His eyes widen in panic. He really can’t breathe. He can’t… The room is turning dark, everything hurts, and still all he wants is to hear that Danny forgives him. “Please…” he whispers as Danny’s terrified face starts to blur. He’s saying something but Spike can’t hear him, the blood whooshing too loudly in his ears.
“I won’t leave you. I’m sorry. God, Spike, I’m so sorry. Don’t get sick. Don’t… Spike? Spike!”
The lights turn off just as he hears Danny scream, “MOM!”
-------------------------
Fuck. Angel throws the cell on the seat beside him, fumbling in the glove apartment for the charger. He forgot to charge it all weekend, forgot to check it this morning, and it’s been lying dead in his jacket pocket all day without him noticing. He’d gone to the mall after dropping Spike off at Danny’s, browsing the shops for some small gift to give Martha for her birthday next Thursday. She always tells him he doesn’t have to buy her anything but the one time he hadn’t she’d hardly spoken to him in days. Women. Finally he’d settled on a box of assorted Godiva chocolates. She’ll scold him for trying to fatten her and then she’ll eat every one of them with a blissful look on his face.
While walking to the car, he’d realised how late it was and checked his phone for missed calls, since Spike should have called him up by then. Except his phone was dead. Fuck.
He plugs it into the lighter slot and turns it on. Pushing in the PIN code and waiting impatiently for it to register and give him a signal. It takes forever and he’s growling with irritation when it finally connects but before he can look up the number for Danny’s house the phone is bleeping, lights flashing. Five missed calls, messages waiting on his voicemail. What the hell?
“Hello? This is Danny’s mother. William had another episode. It looks bad and I’m not sure what to do. Please call me.”
Beep.
“It’s Danny’s mom again. I’ve tried reaching you at home and the police station. William isn’t getting better. I’m going to take him to the ER. I’m sure it’s nothing serious but I’d hate to risk it. Please call me or meet me there.”
Beep.
“Mr. O’Connor? This is at St. John’s Hospital. We have your son here at the ER and really need you to come in as soon as possible. He’s not in danger but we need to talk to you.”
Beep.
“Angel? It’s Martha. They just called me about Spike. What’s going on? Call me.”
Beep.
“Dad? Danny’s mum loaned me her-her phone. I- I didn’t tell them anything, I swear. I didn’t mean to get sick, daddy. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad. Please, daddy. They keep asking me questions but-but I’m not telling. I’m not saying anything. I love you. I love you so much. Please, dad. I wanna go home. Can you please come? Please da- I gotta go.”
Beeeeep.
Silence.
His heart beats. Baboom. Baboom. Baboom.
Slowly he undoes his seatbelt, opens the car door and leans out. Vomits. A woman walking by stops, watching him with concern. He looks up. She has blond hair and blue eyes. His head drops and he throws up again, brownish thick liquid running across the asphalt and disappearing under the car.
“You all right? Sir? You need any help?”
He doesn’t answer, just waves her away with a lame gesture.
“You sure?”
He nods. Then waits until the sound of her heels clicking on the pavement fades away before sitting slowly up, blank eyes staring out the window.
It’s over.
On to the epilogue.