Grampy Boston's wake
took the train to Maine yesterday. This was the first time my brother had ever been on the train and it ended up being late by stopping for like 20 minutes because there was a CRACK in the rail. awesome.
In retrospect, I really felt so unaffected by my grandfather passing away. I was in a good mood and I was excited to see my mother for a couple hours.
I remember when Papa passed away. It's been years but I still cry sometimes when I think of him because he really was like a father figure to me. I was very much closer to Papa and a lot of much time with him. I used to look forward to family events because I could just chill and hang out with Papa. We didn't even have to talk. Sometimes we would just lounge around outside in the sun. That's what I loved most about him- the fact that he was so easygoing, so relaxed and he had such a soft voice. He was a great storyteller. He always told me so save my pennies for college and I did, even when I was a little kid! He made me read for at least an hour every night. I ended up becoming obsessed with books when I was in junior high. (It was usually my escape for when I had to go visit my father and the evil bitch Crystal. meh) When Papa had passed away, I was so torn and my body felt gross for about a week. At his funeral, I just couldn't believe that he was gone forever. It was actually very disturbing to look at his body because it didn't look like him at all. He always used to be so dapper and healthy looking. I couldn't help but keep looking over at his coffin and my eyes would well up with tears. It was really difficult to carry on a conversation with anyone. I have so many memories of Papa but Grampy Boston was never really there during my childhood years. He never made an effort to be in my life.
When we arrived at the wake, it was open casket for an hour. I thought it was great that my grandfather was dressed in one of his old plaid green flannel shirts. In his hands was one of his baseball caps. There were pictures all over the place of him hunting and fishing. Pictures of him with his family members. My dad said "Heather, we looked through the photo albums for hours and we could find one single picture with you and him. I mean, there were plenty of you but none of the two of you together."
I didn't really say anything but I honestly wasn't shocked or anything. I don't have a single memory of Grampy and I spending time together. So of course there wouldn't be any pictures of us. The rest of the night went by pretty fast. I talked with Michael and Zack the entire time and we sat with Grammy Boston and listened to her chat for a while. I didn't talk to my dad very much. When it was time to say goodbye, he held out his hand for a handshake but I gave him a hug instead and he was a little taken back at first. But I could tell that he was really happy to be able to give me a hug. I really don't understand that family.
If you love someone, wouldn't you want to share it and express it to them in any way possible? When I think of how my mom's side of the family is- it's so different!! I am expected to greet my relatives with a hug and kiss on the cheek. I always held my grandparents hands. We always seem to express our love by rubbing their backs, or simply by just placing a hand on their arm or back. Lauren and I (even though we aren't blood related) always cuddle together and I would play with her hair or comb it. So it's just odd to know that some families aren't like that.
I feel kind of bitter that I'm not close with the Bostons. I barely know my older brother Dustin at all. I was so relieved when my mom came by to talk with everyone. I know that she was nervous about what people would think, being the "Ex-Wife" and all...but I think she did the right thing, by expressing her condolences talking with Dustin, Dad, my uncle and Grammy and even Crystal. I always do a super long post whenever someone dies. It's only natural. The more funerals I go to, the more I realize that someday Bill and my mom are not going to be around forever. How do people deal with this?
I highly doubt anyone has even read the entirety of this post. If anyone does, I know that it will be Aimee. haha. Hi?
When someone dies after living a long, healthy eventful life, it is almost like a blessing. Funerals are so different when it is a child or someone young that shouldn't have died so early. A year ago yesterday, Liz Cutting killed herself. I thought about her the entire train ride home. I wrote about her on here immediately after I found out the news. But I might end up writing more about her soon.
In retrospect, I really felt so unaffected by my grandfather passing away. I was in a good mood and I was excited to see my mother for a couple hours.
I remember when Papa passed away. It's been years but I still cry sometimes when I think of him because he really was like a father figure to me. I was very much closer to Papa and a lot of much time with him. I used to look forward to family events because I could just chill and hang out with Papa. We didn't even have to talk. Sometimes we would just lounge around outside in the sun. That's what I loved most about him- the fact that he was so easygoing, so relaxed and he had such a soft voice. He was a great storyteller. He always told me so save my pennies for college and I did, even when I was a little kid! He made me read for at least an hour every night. I ended up becoming obsessed with books when I was in junior high. (It was usually my escape for when I had to go visit my father and the evil bitch Crystal. meh) When Papa had passed away, I was so torn and my body felt gross for about a week. At his funeral, I just couldn't believe that he was gone forever. It was actually very disturbing to look at his body because it didn't look like him at all. He always used to be so dapper and healthy looking. I couldn't help but keep looking over at his coffin and my eyes would well up with tears. It was really difficult to carry on a conversation with anyone. I have so many memories of Papa but Grampy Boston was never really there during my childhood years. He never made an effort to be in my life.
When we arrived at the wake, it was open casket for an hour. I thought it was great that my grandfather was dressed in one of his old plaid green flannel shirts. In his hands was one of his baseball caps. There were pictures all over the place of him hunting and fishing. Pictures of him with his family members. My dad said "Heather, we looked through the photo albums for hours and we could find one single picture with you and him. I mean, there were plenty of you but none of the two of you together."
I didn't really say anything but I honestly wasn't shocked or anything. I don't have a single memory of Grampy and I spending time together. So of course there wouldn't be any pictures of us. The rest of the night went by pretty fast. I talked with Michael and Zack the entire time and we sat with Grammy Boston and listened to her chat for a while. I didn't talk to my dad very much. When it was time to say goodbye, he held out his hand for a handshake but I gave him a hug instead and he was a little taken back at first. But I could tell that he was really happy to be able to give me a hug. I really don't understand that family.
If you love someone, wouldn't you want to share it and express it to them in any way possible? When I think of how my mom's side of the family is- it's so different!! I am expected to greet my relatives with a hug and kiss on the cheek. I always held my grandparents hands. We always seem to express our love by rubbing their backs, or simply by just placing a hand on their arm or back. Lauren and I (even though we aren't blood related) always cuddle together and I would play with her hair or comb it. So it's just odd to know that some families aren't like that.
I feel kind of bitter that I'm not close with the Bostons. I barely know my older brother Dustin at all. I was so relieved when my mom came by to talk with everyone. I know that she was nervous about what people would think, being the "Ex-Wife" and all...but I think she did the right thing, by expressing her condolences talking with Dustin, Dad, my uncle and Grammy and even Crystal. I always do a super long post whenever someone dies. It's only natural. The more funerals I go to, the more I realize that someday Bill and my mom are not going to be around forever. How do people deal with this?
I highly doubt anyone has even read the entirety of this post. If anyone does, I know that it will be Aimee. haha. Hi?
When someone dies after living a long, healthy eventful life, it is almost like a blessing. Funerals are so different when it is a child or someone young that shouldn't have died so early. A year ago yesterday, Liz Cutting killed herself. I thought about her the entire train ride home. I wrote about her on here immediately after I found out the news. But I might end up writing more about her soon.