Slut
My husband and I found this documentary while surfing through our free movies on On Demand (I believe it was via the Sundance Channel, for the curious). It was very interesting.
It explored the history and the connotations and effects of the word on women. Near the beginning, the makers asked several people to define it. Several people gave different personal definitions of it, and it became clear that while it's a word that's used primarily to hurt, there isn't really a universally accepted definition. I was thinking about how I would define it, when my husband spoke up and said exactly what I was thinking before I could say it. "A woman who has sex the way men are expected to have sex gets labeled a slut."
I think this is exactly it. What's considered "normal" behavior for men is unacceptable in women. They also tried to find a male equivalent, and they couldn't. The closest they could come up with was "stud," which tends to be considered a compliment.
I think about the way I've felt when I've been called a slut, and I'm quite certain it's nothing the way a man would feel if he were called a stud. No, I felt the need to excuse and minimize my sexual behavior. I became ashamed of myself. But that was in years past, and now, my thought is, screw that. I've had and enjoyed sex, and I've done so at every opportunity that presented itself with someone I was interested in, and there's no reason to be ashamed of that.
And for the record, I hate the word. It may be my least favorite word in the english language. At the very least it's in my top ten. It is a word that is used to judge and to hurt, and it's unacceptable. When I see any woman called a slut, I flinch as if I've been slapped. It was a factor in my walking away from one friendship.
I just wanted to share my thoughts, and to recommend the documentary.
Edit: 'Slut' is in fact the title of the documentary.
It explored the history and the connotations and effects of the word on women. Near the beginning, the makers asked several people to define it. Several people gave different personal definitions of it, and it became clear that while it's a word that's used primarily to hurt, there isn't really a universally accepted definition. I was thinking about how I would define it, when my husband spoke up and said exactly what I was thinking before I could say it. "A woman who has sex the way men are expected to have sex gets labeled a slut."
I think this is exactly it. What's considered "normal" behavior for men is unacceptable in women. They also tried to find a male equivalent, and they couldn't. The closest they could come up with was "stud," which tends to be considered a compliment.
I think about the way I've felt when I've been called a slut, and I'm quite certain it's nothing the way a man would feel if he were called a stud. No, I felt the need to excuse and minimize my sexual behavior. I became ashamed of myself. But that was in years past, and now, my thought is, screw that. I've had and enjoyed sex, and I've done so at every opportunity that presented itself with someone I was interested in, and there's no reason to be ashamed of that.
And for the record, I hate the word. It may be my least favorite word in the english language. At the very least it's in my top ten. It is a word that is used to judge and to hurt, and it's unacceptable. When I see any woman called a slut, I flinch as if I've been slapped. It was a factor in my walking away from one friendship.
I just wanted to share my thoughts, and to recommend the documentary.
Edit: 'Slut' is in fact the title of the documentary.