Friends are strangers in love.
I've got a friend.
I haven known her for long. Not those since primary school kinda friendship.. I got to know her in PJC. We could talked about anything under the sky. I could just sit with her in the canteen, talking about my family, sitting in our folded legs position after school-hours. I have no idea why we would just sit there and gaze at the open field and sky then. Maybe that's when sparks started between us..I didn't know much about her then, or even till now. The connection was there and I can say it out loud now, that this connection is STILL present. Though years have passed, I dun really know her likes and favourites (but but I know her fav colour is GREEN! :D), dun really know who occupies her heart until recently, I do know that she's the glue in many friendships. I've come clean with her in many many issues cuz she's someone I couldn't lie to..and I have no need to. She always have a heart to make an effort, to try to bring happiness to her close friends with her many smses and kind words. She's never giving up, never complained about anyone who declines her offers for outings, was never the girl who would cry due to shit, and is one of the rare few who random sms me to tell me how much she miss and loves me.
Through the years, we might have talked alot about friendships and people and changes, she still hang on to that passion of being a glue. She might grumble at times but her number never fail to appear in our phones. But, things aren't the same anymore. But she have changed. She's no longer the one who's filled with joy, happily doing things she usually does.There's a limit to how much she can give.
I'm terribly sorry for my deeds. I'm sorry for my procrastination. I dunno how I can make things easier for her. I think she needs personal space now..She dun have to reply to my messages, dun have to entertain others, and just do whatever that really makes her feel better. Stay at home, sing K, go clarke quay and human-watch etc. If I can, I'll accompany her but I've got some restraints which I cant afford to be by her side when she do need a shoulder to rest on.
She might feel that some people she loved failed her terribly.
She might say she dun wanna care anymore.
She might not believe in BGR anymore, might not get over the emotional baggage she's carrying.
She might be really despondent now. ( I know, dun ask me how. If someone expresses all her rants, all her troubles altogether, she's not her usual self anymore and I know she needs friends by her side, in this crucial period.)
But I firmly believe, at the end of the day, she'll be back on her feet and loving people who have failed her again and again, even though it's not worth it.
Just cuz she's someone like that, we'll have a lifetime together.
_________________________________________________________________________
We are always caught up with things, things like school, play, work, sleep, other people in our lives.
We are never able to catch up with the speed of time.
And when we get busy and forget about time, some important things and people are already getting further and further away from us. When we realised, it's already too late to retrieve. By saying all these, I'm not being emotional. Actually, I haven been this clear-minded (and not crying cuz of my low tolerance) ever since my father got hospitalised. I've always had alot of thoughts as I go along this heavy year, or this whole growing process. It's mostly about love. Love among friends and family, and definitely romantic love.
As I get older, it hits harder on me. That promises are fake. They are for people who have no faith in themselves and people they "trust". They need promises to make them stay on track and not stray, for them to feel more secure and safe. Promises, like friends, they make you crazy with the things they do sometimes. They make you feel so frustrated with minor changes but they are there to keep you alive, to keep you in their hearts so you'll feel protected and safe form harm.
I really hope 1st three months didnt end so quickly. I really hope the compeitition in Sdyney didn't ended in a flash. I really hope arts camp, soci camp, oweek wont come hot on my heels.
Because for others, I wont be able to decide what they do. For myself, no matter how much i yearn, I know things are just gonna change for sure.
HAHAHA and what to do? We meet so many strangers everyday, right? There are many who are just passerbys in our lives and aren't many whom we have the fate to know and treasure :))
P.S.Thank you czg. I've always appreciated it. Though we've lost contact for years in between our school & NS times, we have caught up, finally! Don't feel bad cuz i know you are busy with church camp and work. Just promise me an ice-cream the next date <3 Take care czg.
Friends are strangers in love.
I haven known her for long. Not those since primary school kinda friendship.. I got to know her in PJC. We could talked about anything under the sky. I could just sit with her in the canteen, talking about my family, sitting in our folded legs position after school-hours. I have no idea why we would just sit there and gaze at the open field and sky then. Maybe that's when sparks started between us..I didn't know much about her then, or even till now. The connection was there and I can say it out loud now, that this connection is STILL present. Though years have passed, I dun really know her likes and favourites (but but I know her fav colour is GREEN! :D), dun really know who occupies her heart until recently, I do know that she's the glue in many friendships. I've come clean with her in many many issues cuz she's someone I couldn't lie to..and I have no need to. She always have a heart to make an effort, to try to bring happiness to her close friends with her many smses and kind words. She's never giving up, never complained about anyone who declines her offers for outings, was never the girl who would cry due to shit, and is one of the rare few who random sms me to tell me how much she miss and loves me.
Through the years, we might have talked alot about friendships and people and changes, she still hang on to that passion of being a glue. She might grumble at times but her number never fail to appear in our phones. But, things aren't the same anymore. But she have changed. She's no longer the one who's filled with joy, happily doing things she usually does.There's a limit to how much she can give.
I'm terribly sorry for my deeds. I'm sorry for my procrastination. I dunno how I can make things easier for her. I think she needs personal space now..She dun have to reply to my messages, dun have to entertain others, and just do whatever that really makes her feel better. Stay at home, sing K, go clarke quay and human-watch etc. If I can, I'll accompany her but I've got some restraints which I cant afford to be by her side when she do need a shoulder to rest on.
She might feel that some people she loved failed her terribly.
She might say she dun wanna care anymore.
She might not believe in BGR anymore, might not get over the emotional baggage she's carrying.
She might be really despondent now. ( I know, dun ask me how. If someone expresses all her rants, all her troubles altogether, she's not her usual self anymore and I know she needs friends by her side, in this crucial period.)
But I firmly believe, at the end of the day, she'll be back on her feet and loving people who have failed her again and again, even though it's not worth it.
Just cuz she's someone like that, we'll have a lifetime together.
_________________________________________________________________________
We are always caught up with things, things like school, play, work, sleep, other people in our lives.
We are never able to catch up with the speed of time.
And when we get busy and forget about time, some important things and people are already getting further and further away from us. When we realised, it's already too late to retrieve. By saying all these, I'm not being emotional. Actually, I haven been this clear-minded (and not crying cuz of my low tolerance) ever since my father got hospitalised. I've always had alot of thoughts as I go along this heavy year, or this whole growing process. It's mostly about love. Love among friends and family, and definitely romantic love.
As I get older, it hits harder on me. That promises are fake. They are for people who have no faith in themselves and people they "trust". They need promises to make them stay on track and not stray, for them to feel more secure and safe. Promises, like friends, they make you crazy with the things they do sometimes. They make you feel so frustrated with minor changes but they are there to keep you alive, to keep you in their hearts so you'll feel protected and safe form harm.
I really hope 1st three months didnt end so quickly. I really hope the compeitition in Sdyney didn't ended in a flash. I really hope arts camp, soci camp, oweek wont come hot on my heels.
Because for others, I wont be able to decide what they do. For myself, no matter how much i yearn, I know things are just gonna change for sure.
HAHAHA and what to do? We meet so many strangers everyday, right? There are many who are just passerbys in our lives and aren't many whom we have the fate to know and treasure :))
P.S.Thank you czg. I've always appreciated it. Though we've lost contact for years in between our school & NS times, we have caught up, finally! Don't feel bad cuz i know you are busy with church camp and work. Just promise me an ice-cream the next date <3 Take care czg.
Friends are strangers in love.