The Last Night (fic)/A Long Way Yet (fanmix)
Technically, tonight is Gwen’s last night as a commoner.
Sure, the royal engagement has been the stuff of legend, but none of it can mask her roots.
She prefers to dress herself in the morning, she has kept her father’s house and goes there sometimes to read or sew in peace, she makes sure to think the servants for everything from a glass of wine to finding the necklace Arthur gave her the night he told his father that he would make her his queen. And no matter how much training she gets she still feels terribly out of place sitting on her throne next to Arthur.
So she’s hiding.
She can hear the instruments through the open window of her rooms.
She knows every inch of this chamber like the back of her hand. It wasn’t so long ago that she was cleaning them for Morgana. No wonder she’s never felt at home in them, but they’re the closest to home she can come in the palace.
She suddenly feels cold and wraps her shawl tighter around her shoulders. She’s staring out onto the streets of Camelot, the streets she used to be able to wander on her own without fear. Now, as the future Queen that is absolutely out of the question, as are many of the things she loved to do.
It worries her that the strongest emotion she can muster on the eve of her wedding to the man she loves is fear.
***
She doesn’t hear the door open or Arthur’s steps on the cold stone as he approaches.
She doesn’t realize that she is no longer alone until she hears the familiar sound of his body shifting uncomfortably under his chainmail, a sure sign that he is tired.
“Guinevere,” he says in his most regal voice. “Did you think no one would notice that you’d disappeared?”
She swiped at her face and hoped that he couldn’t see her tears in the dim candlelight. “I hoped.”
“Are you crying?”
“No I… there was something in my eye,” she says, with a weak smile.
“Does anyone ever believe you when you say that,” he asks, his eyebrows furrowed.
She laughs, but doesn’t answer.
Arthur looks around, lost, not sure what to say or do. A feeling he is used to with Gwen. It bewilders and excites him at the same time, the way she makes him feel weak.
“It’s cold in here,” he says after a while.
“I’ll start a fire soon, don’t worry.”
“No, you won’t. You have servants for that now Gwen.”
“And I’ve always had two hands for that, sire.”
This is a recurring argument. They’ve had it so many times that each has resigned themself to the fact that they will have it again. She will never be as comfortable with being taken care of and he will never understand her reluctance in the face of those comforts.
“I don’t want to fight tonight Gwen,” he says in a small voice that sends shivers down her spine.
She looks him in the eye finally. “I don’t want to fight either Arthur.”
He grasps her hands and pulls her to her knees. She inches towards the edge of the bed until they are eye to eye and so close he can feel her breath tickling the tip of his nose.
She places her hands on the sides of his face and leans into his mouth. When she pulls back his eyes are still closed for a second longer and her lips quirk in a small grin.
“Your hands are freezing.” He grasps her hands in his and raises them to his mouth, blowing warm breaths over them.
After a while, he pecks her on the lips again. “I want to show you something.”
“What,” she says, a small smile playing at her lips.
“You ask too many questions.”
***
When they walk into his chambers she tries to hide her disappointment.
“Arthur,” she says tentatively, “am I missing something. I’ve seen your room plenty of times.”
“Ah, but tomorrow this will become our room.” He gestures to the room, hoping that she will see it anew. She does not.
“Really? This is what you wanted to show me?”
He exhales loudly. “No. It’s just warmer in here.”
“Arthur,” she says swatting at his arm. “I told you I’d start a fire.”
He swallows a reply and pushes her to the seat by the fireplace instead.
They sit beside one another in silence. He would never admit it but he much preferred their maturing relationship to the stolen kisses and secret embraces of early romance. To sit beside her, their arms clasped, with the freedom to speak, listen, or neither was much more comforting. And it was these moments that he missed when he had to be away from the castle longer than one night.
That and the softness of her skin and the way her face and neck flushed each time they’d given themselves over to passionate kisses into the wee hours of the morning.
“What are you thinking,” she asks, rubbing her knuckles along his cheek.
He brushes his lips across them. “I’m thinking of how much better your hands feel now.”
She hits him again but laughs along with him, obviously not too upset.
“I’m serious. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
He looks her in the eyes and feels a pit in his stomach. His eyes trail down her neck and the way her hair covers the swell of her breast. His hands follow his eyes and trace the embroidery of her bodice over her stomach. His hand settles in her lap and he rubs the fabric of her skirt between his thumb and forefinger.
“I was thinking how happy I will be when you are my wife.”
***
“Are you sure about this Arthur,” she whispers into his mouth.
His hand trails up her calf to her inner thigh and he swallows loudly. “Yes. Are you?”
She opens her legs just a little bit wider and slips her tongue into his mouth. A clear invitation.
Title: A Long Way Yet
author: femmenoire
Fandom: Merlin
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Gwen
Note: holiday fanmix for blackmamba_esq
Sometimes [Noisettes]
I am an island underneath the setting sun
In an ocean that is churning
For all I know there might be nobody nearby
Still, the world, it keeps on turning
***
Sometimes we start over
And go solo
We’re looking for
That summer home
Beside the sea
And for the future
Other Side of the World [KT Tunstall]
And the fire fades away
Most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it’s too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You’re close enough to see that
You’re on the other side of the world to me
***
Can you help me
Can you let me go
And can you still love me
When you can’t see me anymore
Teenage Dream [The Rescues]
I think you’re pretty
Without any make up on
I think you’re funny
When I tell the punchline wrong
You know I get you
So I’ll let my walls come down
Before you met me
I was a wreck but things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Unthinkable (I’m Ready) [Alicia Keys]
You give me a feeling that I never felt before
And I deserve it, I think I deserve it
It’s becoming something that’s impossible to ignore
And I can’t take it
***
Why give up before we try
Feel the lows before the highs
Clip our wings before we fly away
Heartbeats [Jose Gonzalez]
One night of magic rush
The start of simple touch
***
We had a promise made
We were in love
***
Sharing different heartbeats
In one night
Just a Feeling [Maroon 5]
I watched you cry
Bathed in sunlight by the bathroom door
You said you wish you did not love me anymore
***
I’m a light in the dark, no sunshine
***
So much to say
It’s not the way she does her hair
It’s the way she seems to stare right through my eyes
And in that darkest day
When she refused to run away
From a love she tried so hard to save
The Way I Feel [Asa]
I feel like we’re all following shadows
And shadows that don’t know where to go
I feel like I’m waiting for tomorrow
While today wastes away
It’s nothing I don’t know
It’s nothing I can’t see
It’s not like I haven’t noticed
It’s driving me insane
***
I feel like I’m not the only one who’s frustrated
I feel like something’s going wrong I can’t escape it
Until We Bleed [Kleerup f. Lykke Li]
You wasted your times
On my heart
You’re burned…
And if bridges gotta fall, then you’ll fall too
Doors slam
Lights black
You’re gone
Come back
Stay gone…
I need you to need me
Time After Time [Eva Cassidy]
Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you
Turning in circles confusion is nothing new
Flashbacks to warm nights
Almost left behind
A suitcase of memories
***
After your picture fades and darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows I’m wondering if you’re ok
Everywhere I Go [Lisse]
Danger will follow me now everywhere I go
Angels will call on me and take me to my home
Well these tired eyes just want to remain closed
***
I don’t see clearly
Can’t feel nothing, no
Can you hear me?
You Please Me [Dragonette]
At night time when it’s dark outside
I go to where I know you’re hiding
Look up at your window from the street
You’re up there, where some believe
Finally getting over me
You got something up there that I need
***
Maybe I want one more kiss
Shouldn’t I get one more wish?
***
It’s easy, believe me
It’s easy, you please me
Still [Matt Nathanson]
I remember hearts that beat, yeah yeah
I remember you and me, yeah oh yeah
Tangled in hotel sheets
You wore me out
You wore me out
***
Still can feel you kiss me love
Still can see your brown skin shining, shining
Still can feel you kiss me love
Find a Way [Safetysuit]
Hold on, what’s the rush, what’s the rush
We’re not done are we
Cause I don’t need to change this atmosphere we’ve made if
You can stay one more hour
Can you stay one more hour?
***
And if I was running
You’d be the one who I would be running to
And if I was crying
You would be lining the cloud that would pull me through
And if I was scared
Then I would be glad to tell you and walk away
But I am not lying
I am just trying to find my way in to you
Tonight [Hard-Fi]
Tonight, tonight I’m gonna take what’s mine,
Tonight, tonight under that bright neon light
And if I ever find a way right out of here,
Tonight, tonight I’m gonna disappear
***
Tonight, tonight oh sweetheart you and I,
Tonight, tonight we’ve gotta feel alive
Cos if we ever find a way right out of here,
Tonight, tonight we’ve gotta disappear
***
But it aint easy, not it aint easy
Darling darling please
We aint got long
So I need you,
To believe in me,
Tonight, tonight
I can’t lose you
So come with me
We’ll break free
Tonight, tonight, we’ll burn so bright
Tonight , tonight out on the Great West Road
I’m scared like you but we can’t let it show
Cos if we ever find a way right out of here
Tonight, tonight…