Challenge #75 - Cigarettes - BSG, Kara/Laura
Title: Smoke Dissipates
Fandom: BSG
Pairing: Kara/Laura
Rating: PG-13
Smoke Dissipates
You hate Kara’s cigars. Vile things.
They remind you too much of Cottle and his cigarettes and the check-ups that bring the spectre of death into stark relief. You look at them and are reminded of how you too are slowly flickering away into nothingness. Kara and Cottle know what they’re doing is bad for them but they do it anyway. Just like you do. You know full well you’re dying but you keep pushing yourself to the brink of collapse.
You know they’re an integral part of the Starbuck persona to which Kara desperately tries to match up. You hate that others have made her think she’s worth so little. You know she hates that you can see right through her, whilst she finds you so opaque. You want to tell her it’s just how you cope but you’re afraid to see the disappointment in her eyes.
But you can forgive Kara for them. After all, she makes up for it in the way she kisses you without respect or apology, lifts you up against the wall and holds you there until you’re shuddering around her fingers.
And perversely, the smoke and the stench and the taste make you feel alive. Sometimes the feeling of detachment is too sharp, the numbness so complete that even the claustrophobic haze of Kara’s cigars and the grimace it draws upon your face feel better than nothing.
So there you both are, wanting to be and wanting to feel something before the smoke dissipates.
Fandom: BSG
Pairing: Kara/Laura
Rating: PG-13
Smoke Dissipates
You hate Kara’s cigars. Vile things.
They remind you too much of Cottle and his cigarettes and the check-ups that bring the spectre of death into stark relief. You look at them and are reminded of how you too are slowly flickering away into nothingness. Kara and Cottle know what they’re doing is bad for them but they do it anyway. Just like you do. You know full well you’re dying but you keep pushing yourself to the brink of collapse.
You know they’re an integral part of the Starbuck persona to which Kara desperately tries to match up. You hate that others have made her think she’s worth so little. You know she hates that you can see right through her, whilst she finds you so opaque. You want to tell her it’s just how you cope but you’re afraid to see the disappointment in her eyes.
But you can forgive Kara for them. After all, she makes up for it in the way she kisses you without respect or apology, lifts you up against the wall and holds you there until you’re shuddering around her fingers.
And perversely, the smoke and the stench and the taste make you feel alive. Sometimes the feeling of detachment is too sharp, the numbness so complete that even the claustrophobic haze of Kara’s cigars and the grimace it draws upon your face feel better than nothing.
So there you both are, wanting to be and wanting to feel something before the smoke dissipates.