Comments | fenrischained: Morituri Te Salutant

fenrischained

Morituri Te Salutant - for brigits_flame

Jun 19, 2009 18:26

Title: Morituri Te Salutant
Genre: Romantic
Warnings: MxM romance, gratuitious Latin.

Summary: Ave Caesar, morituri te salutant. They're just words droned in a Latin lesson, but he takes them to heart.

A/N: This was written for the brigits_flameweek 3 prompt, Caesar. I hurried to write it, because we were going away, didn't manage, and borrowed a computer off ( Read more... )

love story, brigits_flame, original fiction

Comments 7

ephemeralbreath June 21 2009, 21:47:03 UTC

Aw aw, that was cute.

I'm one of your editors this week, so I'll be back with that as soon as I do it!

fenrischained June 21 2009, 21:57:15 UTC

^-^ Thanks! I'm glad you liked it, and I look forwards to the edit.

ephemeralbreath June 23 2009, 02:12:10 UTC

Hello again! Like I said earlier, I'm one of your editors this week.

I thought your story was adorable. Here are a few grammatical suggestions:

... the teacher is still droning on about the gladiators and the origins of the phrase word.

"Appropriate film, wouldn't you say?" he quips, nodding at the pictures of the Coliseum...
Capitalize "he."

The Latin boy laughs...
I'm not really sure about this, but I wouldn't describe someone as being "Latin," seeing as Latin is a language, and a dead one at that. Perhaps Hispanic would work better (if Hispanic's what you're going for)?

... and a sense of huge contentment in the air.The phrase "huge contentment" doesn't really make sense. I would just get rid of "huge ( ... )

fenrischained June 23 2009, 02:19:35 UTC

"Appropriate film, wouldn't you say?" he quips, nodding at the pictures of the Coliseum...
Capitalize "he."
Are you sure? 0.o

Anyway, thanks for the edit! It's helpful, it really is. ^-^

ephemeralbreath June 23 2009, 03:10:08 UTC

You know what? I was debating that, so I just looked it up and you're right! -looks ashamed-

Yay! I'm glad to hear that.

ROAR bluebirds_sing June 27 2009, 13:59:34 UTC

Hi! I’m your roar reader once more :-)
Sorry it has taken me long to read, anyway I really enjoyed this. I’m a big fan of Brokeback Mountain (as you can see if you look at my journal), so go Cesar’s friend, go! ;-)
Well… now, alea iacta est *grins*
*“I saw you just now. He could have been talking about green elephants dancing on the moon and you wouldn’t have noticed.” “Was he?” “I don’t know. I wouldn’t have noticed, either.”* Eh, eh… it seems like Cesar is in for some more kissing after all. :-)
Ciao!
Tina

Re: ROAR fenrischained June 27 2009, 14:07:48 UTC

XD
Glad you liked it! ^-^