(no subject)
Something has been missing through the course of the entire NFL regular season. What's more, that thing was promised to be delivered before the end and yet it's still missing. How 32 teams completed 16 games without it is nothing short of amazing. The missing piece, of course, was my never-before-and-still-not Annual NFL Post-Season Predictions. You'd think that after coming within one Rex Grossman of correctly picking the outcome of the Super Bowl, I'd have been eager to duplicate that success. Well, hubris and business got in the way and I never got around to it. As I mentioned earlier this year, I thought before the season started that the Patriots would defeat the Saints in the endgame.
Then, after watching Week 2, I learned two things:
(1) No one would be beating the Saints in the Super Bowl,
and (2) No one would be beating the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
It was here that I devised an ambitious plan for the predictions. It would be this grand, epic story, about how the only entity capable of stopping New England (the team) would be themselves. Not exactly original in subject, but I was hoping to inject some much-needed gravity to the trope by arranging it as a whimsically written sestina. Sadly, this plan was hatched around the eve of the Baseball playoffs, and then I had a month of 70 hour work weeks to deal with, and then it was December already, with the sestina still in an unsatisfactory state on the drawing board. Why didn't anyone tell me writing a sestina would be so difficult? Wait, someone did tell me, and probably many times too. Well you were right. They're hard. Damn you Arnaut Daniel!!
Well here we are, on the eve of the football playoffs and my prediction, un-recorded or -sestina'd, will just have to be taken on its word. It was to have been a long and winding tale of a man named Pat, who had vanquished raptors and big cats and wild horses, blacksmiths and outlaws and lawmen, and would even have been visited by the spectre of Ace Frehley for some reason, all while he was trying simply to return home. He accomplished all of these things, not so much because of his own strength and character, but just because he never got in his own way. Eh, it was probably a bad idea from the get-go.
But I never had any doubt after watching the Patriots thoroughly demolish the Chargers that this team would just crush everything in their path. I don't know that I would necessarily have predicted a 16-0 season, because shit happens sometimes, and almost did a few times this season, but I figured they'd have their berth in the playoffs figured out by Election Day. I don't really take any pride in saying I knew this so early because I think it was pretty apparent to everyone else too.
But can they still do it? Shit can still happen in the playoffs after all. The Bills are obviously not participating, so that's the only drama I'll get for the next month. Unless I make a full prediction of what's to come for my own self to track. It won't be as poetic as what I had envisioned but then again, neither would whatever I actually have written have been either.
Wild Card Weekend
Seahawks d. Redskins
Steelers d. Jaguars
Giants d. Buccaneers
Chargers d. Titans
Divisional Weekend
Patriots d. Steelers
Chargers d. Colts
Cowboys d. Giants
Packers d. Seahawks
Conference Sunday
Patriots d. Chargers
Cowboys d. Packers
Super Bowl Sunday
Patriots d. Cowboys
As always, I'll evaluate and grade my failure after everything's been decided.
Then, after watching Week 2, I learned two things:
(1) No one would be beating the Saints in the Super Bowl,
and (2) No one would be beating the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
It was here that I devised an ambitious plan for the predictions. It would be this grand, epic story, about how the only entity capable of stopping New England (the team) would be themselves. Not exactly original in subject, but I was hoping to inject some much-needed gravity to the trope by arranging it as a whimsically written sestina. Sadly, this plan was hatched around the eve of the Baseball playoffs, and then I had a month of 70 hour work weeks to deal with, and then it was December already, with the sestina still in an unsatisfactory state on the drawing board. Why didn't anyone tell me writing a sestina would be so difficult? Wait, someone did tell me, and probably many times too. Well you were right. They're hard. Damn you Arnaut Daniel!!
Well here we are, on the eve of the football playoffs and my prediction, un-recorded or -sestina'd, will just have to be taken on its word. It was to have been a long and winding tale of a man named Pat, who had vanquished raptors and big cats and wild horses, blacksmiths and outlaws and lawmen, and would even have been visited by the spectre of Ace Frehley for some reason, all while he was trying simply to return home. He accomplished all of these things, not so much because of his own strength and character, but just because he never got in his own way. Eh, it was probably a bad idea from the get-go.
But I never had any doubt after watching the Patriots thoroughly demolish the Chargers that this team would just crush everything in their path. I don't know that I would necessarily have predicted a 16-0 season, because shit happens sometimes, and almost did a few times this season, but I figured they'd have their berth in the playoffs figured out by Election Day. I don't really take any pride in saying I knew this so early because I think it was pretty apparent to everyone else too.
But can they still do it? Shit can still happen in the playoffs after all. The Bills are obviously not participating, so that's the only drama I'll get for the next month. Unless I make a full prediction of what's to come for my own self to track. It won't be as poetic as what I had envisioned but then again, neither would whatever I actually have written have been either.
Wild Card Weekend
Seahawks d. Redskins
Steelers d. Jaguars
Giants d. Buccaneers
Chargers d. Titans
Divisional Weekend
Patriots d. Steelers
Chargers d. Colts
Cowboys d. Giants
Packers d. Seahawks
Conference Sunday
Patriots d. Chargers
Cowboys d. Packers
Super Bowl Sunday
Patriots d. Cowboys
As always, I'll evaluate and grade my failure after everything's been decided.