WLIIA (UK) :: A Series of Firsts :: Rated PG-13
Title: A Series of Firsts
Chapter: 1/1
Fandom: Whose Line is it Anyway UK
Pairings: Tony Slattery/Ryan Stiles
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Life is a series of firsts
Disclaimer: This fic is in no way intended to portray a true representation of the people involved. As far as I know, this never happened.
Notes: Written for of_gardenias, as part of wl_fanfiction's April Secret Santa.
Cross-posted to wl_fanfiction; submitted to fanfic100 for prompt 001 - Beginnings
A Series of Firsts
Life is a series of firsts.
Ryan couldn’t remember where he had heard that line - if he had; there was every chance he had thought of that on his own. But it summed up perfectly the relationship he and Tony had. It was a series of firsts that had brought him here now, lying in someone else’s bed and wondering where things were supposed to go from here.
First meeting
The first time he had met Tony, Ryan had taken an instant dislike to him. There had been something about the Brit, so cocky and arrogant that Ryan wasn’t sure he wouldn’t give in to the overwhelming urge to punch him. So he did what he always did when faced with such people - he blanked him. For the longest while, during the run of the show, Ryan only spoke to Tony when he had to, and never with any inflection of tone. It was an act, a game, and afterwards Ryan returned to absolute non-contact. He was the only one, and he couldn’t understand how everyone else was so taken in. Perhaps what he should have been asking was why he was so stubbornly refuting what everyone else accepted.
First speaking
The silence ended one drunken night at the annual Christmas party. Ryan was the only non-Brit to have stayed so long - in fact, he had decided it was pointless even leaving. He, of all the regular performers, was most regular of the American contestants and so it made much more sense for him to stay around. So the night of the party he had done what he could to stay away from Tony. He made sure to avoid anyone that Tony sought out for company unless he was certain Tony was otherwise occupied - as a result he had barely managed to speak to Paul, who Tony seemed drawn to more than anyone else on the show. Ryan liked Paul, but couldn’t understand how he could be so tolerant of Tony’s constant demands for attention.
In the end, Ryan ended up talking to Clive, Josie and Richard. Though he knew Richard was another of Tony’s ’targets’, he felt sure that the presence of Clive in the group would be enough to deter him. Clive seemed to be one of the few, like Ryan, who wasn’t drawn in and would often make comments that seemed to knock down the arrogance just enough for Tony to be tolerable for five minutes. Ryan almost wished he could do the same, but it wasn’t his place - besides which, it wasn’t worth the risk of losing what was fast becoming a stable job.
He was so deep in conversation - he and Josie had gotten into a debate over whether singing games were a good thing or a bad thing - that he didn’t notice the addition to their group until he spoke. “Well personally, I’d love the chance to do more singing.”
Ryan had been forced not to show his immediate reaction to Tony’s interjection. Josie hadn’t seemed to notice, and was happily feeding Tony’s ego by agreeing that he should sing more. Spitefully, Ryan couldn’t help but wonder what Josie was getting out of this flattery - were they sleeping together? They’d certainly seemed cosy enough on plenty of occasions. With a mumbled “Excuse me,” Ryan walked away from the group before his irritation spilt over.
Later that night, he was stood by the bar when he heard someone call his name. Looking up from his drink, he saw Tony watching him with a rare hesitance. “Well I suppose I’ve got five seconds to work out if this was a good idea.”
Ryan didn’t smile. “What do you want?”
Tony frowned. “Well, a little civility would be a good start. I don’t know what I’ve done to offend you, Ryan, but I’m sure it can’t have been bad enough to warrant you making Josie feel guilty.”
Ryan let out a short laugh. “That’s big of you, Tony, making this about someone else. So are you sleeping with her?”
Tony glared at him. “For what it’s worth, no I’m not. Not that it would be any of your business if I was. I just don’t take it too kindly when someone I care about is made to feel she’s done something wrong just because you can’t take the stick out of your arse wherever I’m concerned.”
Ryan shook his head, moving to walk away. “We’re not having this conversation. If Josie’s really that concerned, then I’ll apologise.”
“Damnit, Ryan, what is it going to take for you to stop treating me like I’m something you dragged in on the bottom of your shoe?”
That had stopped Ryan in his tracks. There was a rare tone of insecurity in Tony’s voice, as if Ryan had as much of a unique effect on him as he had on Ryan. Different effects, of course, but unique all the same. Still, Ryan wasn’t about to make this easy - Tony was a good actor, after all, and he didn’t want to be suckered in.
Not turning round, he replied with a question of his own. “Why do you care so much what I think of you? Everyone else adores you; isn’t that enough?”
“I’m not expecting you to bow at my feet.” Tony moved to stand just behind Ryan. “You won’t believe me, but I don’t ask to be centre of so much attention. I just can’t keep working with a colleague who seems to hate me for no reason.”
Ryan finally turned round at this, the hurt in Tony’s eyes causing his icy anger to melt just a little. “So what are you saying? You want me to quit?”
“No, I don’t want you to quit.” Tony risked a step closer. “You’re a bloody good performer; I just want us to be able to have fun together like we both do with everyone else. After all, isn‘t fun what this show‘s all about?”
Ryan frowned. He wasn’t about to admit it just then, but Tony had a point. Forcing a non-committal tone, he replied, “I guess so.”
First kiss
After Christmas, there was a definite change of atmosphere on set. Those who were new to performing took the relaxed mood between Ryan and Tony as read, but those who had been there before were intrigued by Ryan’s apparent change of heart. Ryan was happy to let them keep on guessing; even if he’d wanted to go into further detail, he had sworn to Tony that he wouldn’t.
The Christmas break had been an education for Ryan. Tony had invited him to spend the holiday with him, an offer which Ryan accepted to begin with only because it meant he wasn’t spending it alone. The more time he spent with Tony, however, the more he began to understand. There was reasoning behind Tony’s constant need for attention and acceptance; a reason for Clive’s barbs to cause deeper hurt than they did for anyone else. For someone seemingly so sure of himself, Tony had a lot of demons he was battling against.
Ryan still didn’t understand a lot of things. He didn’t get, for example, why Tony had chosen to tell him everything, when there were so many other people who seemed to hold Tony’s best interests at heart. If Tony hadn’t told him, Ryan would have doubted he was the only one to know; having been told that he was, Ryan began to wonder what Tony was trying to achieve.
Still, the dissolution of tension between the two men was a welcomed relief on set and filming became more of a joy now that no-one was worrying about offending one by spending time with the other. Socialising as a group became a more common event as the guest list became less of a concern and there was an overall more close-knit feel to the show that newcomers commented on as if it had always been so.
Before long, Valentine’s was fast approaching. The singletons of the cast and crew arranged a night out; Ryan was surprised to see Tony was included in that group. Though he knew Tony hadn’t had many relationships, it did surprise him that the Brit had no other plans for the day. Still, he had to admit he was glad - any night with Tony tended to be an interesting one to say the least. This night proved to be no different as Tony and Josie had taken charge of the group and ensured that much alcohol was consumed before hitting a club where those who wanted to pull would have the opportunity while the rest of the group could ensure nothing disastrous happened.
Tony had spent most of the night hovering close to Ryan’s side. Ryan wasn’t sure why, but the notion both intrigued and concerned him - if Tony was having a crisis of confidence, Ryan would of course do what he could, but he found himself hoping it was something more than that. Which in itself confused him - he was straight and Tony was just a friend. Or was that the case? Ryan had to wonder how much he had drunk - how else would he have been brought to the conclusion he had been?
As the night drew to a close, neither side had made their move. Ryan was just on the verge of considering that this was probably a good thing when he felt an insistent tug at his hand. As he looked up desperate lips closed on his, begging answer to a question that, until now, Ryan hadn’t even thought needed answering. Driven by instinct, Ryan brought a hand to the back of the other man’s head, stopping Tony from trying to pull back as he responded to the kiss.
When the need to breathe intervened, Ryan pulled back and tilted Tony’s head up, forcing the Brit to look at him. “If any word that even suggests at sorry leaves your lips, I will be forced to slap you.”
First time
The relationship progressed slowly and in secret. Tony didn’t trust people not to turn on him; Ryan, even knowing what he knew, didn’t quite trust that Tony would stick around for long. Still, as months passed the two men grew closer still, and it became apparent to both that this was something serious.
They spent hours debating how they were going to break the news. They eventually decided that the night of Ryan’s birthday would serve as an easy way to let people know without having to come out and say anything. There would be need for explanations however things were done, of course, but it somehow seemed so much easier to not have to find the right words. Show, not tell, isn’t that what all the great storywriters say? Well that was what they would do, and deal with the consequences later.
As his birthday drew nearer, however, Ryan grew concerned that Tony was having doubts. The Brit seemed to become more and more distant, to the point that on the night before his birthday Ryan snapped and demanded to know what was going on.
Tony hadn’t answered immediately. He had sat chewing the base of his thumbnail, though Ryan couldn’t tell if it was in thought or an attempt to avoid the question. Eventually, Tony gave his answer and suddenly Ryan understood.
“It’s not that I want to be distant from you. I just don’t want to end up pushing you into something you’re not ready for.”
Thus opened yet another discussion for Ryan and Tony. Ryan had never done it with a man; learning that Tony had was no real surprise to him. Tony had been trying to think of a way that would make everything perfect; Ryan had wondered why Tony hadn’t just asked. As they spoke, both men edged closer to one another and when their eyes finally met, the unspoken signal was given.
It would be tonight. It would be now. And even if it wasn’t perfect, it would be theirs.
First what?
And so it was that Ryan had found himself in Tony’s bed, on the morning of his birthday, wondering what came next. Obviously, tonight would be the first time they made their relationship public, but did anything come before that? What if they didn’t make it that far - was there scope for a first fight when they’d argued before? What if last night’s first had simply been the first man Ryan would do that with?
It took him some time to realise he was being watched. Looking up, he saw Tony standing in the doorway with two mugs in his hands and an amused smirk on his lips. Tony walked further into the room as he asked, “Nice where you were?”
Ryan chuckled as he took one of the mugs from Tony. The aroma of coffee had hit him as soon as Tony had drawn close enough and this was one first that was never negotiable - first caffeine of the day. As he lifted the mug to his lips, he heard a contented sigh as Tony sat on the edge of the bed closest to him.
He knew he was being watched some more as he drank his coffee, but Ryan was happy not to question. Tony, however, didn’t seem happy for him not to answer. “Tell me you weren’t thinking in negatives.”
Ryan placed the mug on the bedside table before reaching for one of Tony’s hands. “Not in negatives. Just in firsts.”
“Oh?” Tony took a sip of his own coffee. “Funny, I was thinking the opposite of that while I was downstairs.”
Ryan frowned a little. “How do you mean? Was last night…”
“Last night was perfect,” Tony quickly cut in. “Last night was what made me think of other lasts. Such as how - if you’ll allow it of course - you’re the last person I’ll ever do that with.”
Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Is that a good thing?”
“I think so.” Tony shifted closer. “Look, Ryan, I know we had a shaky start. But I want this to be it. The real thing. I want you to be the last person I call mine, because I can’t see myself wanting anyone that isn’t you.”
As Tony spoke, Ryan thought back to his previous musings. While he had been tempted to dismiss thoughts of ‘last’ as negative, in truth Tony’s train of thought was more positive than the trail of firsts Ryan had been charting their relationship in.
His silence seemed to stir concern in Tony. “Did I say something wrong?”
“What? No, not at all. The opposite, in fact.” Ryan grinned. “It’s just maybe I need to start changing my thought processes. Maybe I need to stop seeing everything in terms of firsts.”
“How about you don’t, and balance out my lasts?” Tony leant in to kiss Ryan. “You know one can’t exist without the other.”
“You trying to drop hints?” Ryan pulled Tony closer, nipping at Tony’s bottom lip. “’Cause that’s a pretty good analogy.”
For every first there is a last, and one cannot be called better than the other in every situation.
Chapter: 1/1
Fandom: Whose Line is it Anyway UK
Pairings: Tony Slattery/Ryan Stiles
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Life is a series of firsts
Disclaimer: This fic is in no way intended to portray a true representation of the people involved. As far as I know, this never happened.
Notes: Written for of_gardenias, as part of wl_fanfiction's April Secret Santa.
Cross-posted to wl_fanfiction; submitted to fanfic100 for prompt 001 - Beginnings
A Series of Firsts
Life is a series of firsts.
Ryan couldn’t remember where he had heard that line - if he had; there was every chance he had thought of that on his own. But it summed up perfectly the relationship he and Tony had. It was a series of firsts that had brought him here now, lying in someone else’s bed and wondering where things were supposed to go from here.
First meeting
The first time he had met Tony, Ryan had taken an instant dislike to him. There had been something about the Brit, so cocky and arrogant that Ryan wasn’t sure he wouldn’t give in to the overwhelming urge to punch him. So he did what he always did when faced with such people - he blanked him. For the longest while, during the run of the show, Ryan only spoke to Tony when he had to, and never with any inflection of tone. It was an act, a game, and afterwards Ryan returned to absolute non-contact. He was the only one, and he couldn’t understand how everyone else was so taken in. Perhaps what he should have been asking was why he was so stubbornly refuting what everyone else accepted.
First speaking
The silence ended one drunken night at the annual Christmas party. Ryan was the only non-Brit to have stayed so long - in fact, he had decided it was pointless even leaving. He, of all the regular performers, was most regular of the American contestants and so it made much more sense for him to stay around. So the night of the party he had done what he could to stay away from Tony. He made sure to avoid anyone that Tony sought out for company unless he was certain Tony was otherwise occupied - as a result he had barely managed to speak to Paul, who Tony seemed drawn to more than anyone else on the show. Ryan liked Paul, but couldn’t understand how he could be so tolerant of Tony’s constant demands for attention.
In the end, Ryan ended up talking to Clive, Josie and Richard. Though he knew Richard was another of Tony’s ’targets’, he felt sure that the presence of Clive in the group would be enough to deter him. Clive seemed to be one of the few, like Ryan, who wasn’t drawn in and would often make comments that seemed to knock down the arrogance just enough for Tony to be tolerable for five minutes. Ryan almost wished he could do the same, but it wasn’t his place - besides which, it wasn’t worth the risk of losing what was fast becoming a stable job.
He was so deep in conversation - he and Josie had gotten into a debate over whether singing games were a good thing or a bad thing - that he didn’t notice the addition to their group until he spoke. “Well personally, I’d love the chance to do more singing.”
Ryan had been forced not to show his immediate reaction to Tony’s interjection. Josie hadn’t seemed to notice, and was happily feeding Tony’s ego by agreeing that he should sing more. Spitefully, Ryan couldn’t help but wonder what Josie was getting out of this flattery - were they sleeping together? They’d certainly seemed cosy enough on plenty of occasions. With a mumbled “Excuse me,” Ryan walked away from the group before his irritation spilt over.
Later that night, he was stood by the bar when he heard someone call his name. Looking up from his drink, he saw Tony watching him with a rare hesitance. “Well I suppose I’ve got five seconds to work out if this was a good idea.”
Ryan didn’t smile. “What do you want?”
Tony frowned. “Well, a little civility would be a good start. I don’t know what I’ve done to offend you, Ryan, but I’m sure it can’t have been bad enough to warrant you making Josie feel guilty.”
Ryan let out a short laugh. “That’s big of you, Tony, making this about someone else. So are you sleeping with her?”
Tony glared at him. “For what it’s worth, no I’m not. Not that it would be any of your business if I was. I just don’t take it too kindly when someone I care about is made to feel she’s done something wrong just because you can’t take the stick out of your arse wherever I’m concerned.”
Ryan shook his head, moving to walk away. “We’re not having this conversation. If Josie’s really that concerned, then I’ll apologise.”
“Damnit, Ryan, what is it going to take for you to stop treating me like I’m something you dragged in on the bottom of your shoe?”
That had stopped Ryan in his tracks. There was a rare tone of insecurity in Tony’s voice, as if Ryan had as much of a unique effect on him as he had on Ryan. Different effects, of course, but unique all the same. Still, Ryan wasn’t about to make this easy - Tony was a good actor, after all, and he didn’t want to be suckered in.
Not turning round, he replied with a question of his own. “Why do you care so much what I think of you? Everyone else adores you; isn’t that enough?”
“I’m not expecting you to bow at my feet.” Tony moved to stand just behind Ryan. “You won’t believe me, but I don’t ask to be centre of so much attention. I just can’t keep working with a colleague who seems to hate me for no reason.”
Ryan finally turned round at this, the hurt in Tony’s eyes causing his icy anger to melt just a little. “So what are you saying? You want me to quit?”
“No, I don’t want you to quit.” Tony risked a step closer. “You’re a bloody good performer; I just want us to be able to have fun together like we both do with everyone else. After all, isn‘t fun what this show‘s all about?”
Ryan frowned. He wasn’t about to admit it just then, but Tony had a point. Forcing a non-committal tone, he replied, “I guess so.”
First kiss
After Christmas, there was a definite change of atmosphere on set. Those who were new to performing took the relaxed mood between Ryan and Tony as read, but those who had been there before were intrigued by Ryan’s apparent change of heart. Ryan was happy to let them keep on guessing; even if he’d wanted to go into further detail, he had sworn to Tony that he wouldn’t.
The Christmas break had been an education for Ryan. Tony had invited him to spend the holiday with him, an offer which Ryan accepted to begin with only because it meant he wasn’t spending it alone. The more time he spent with Tony, however, the more he began to understand. There was reasoning behind Tony’s constant need for attention and acceptance; a reason for Clive’s barbs to cause deeper hurt than they did for anyone else. For someone seemingly so sure of himself, Tony had a lot of demons he was battling against.
Ryan still didn’t understand a lot of things. He didn’t get, for example, why Tony had chosen to tell him everything, when there were so many other people who seemed to hold Tony’s best interests at heart. If Tony hadn’t told him, Ryan would have doubted he was the only one to know; having been told that he was, Ryan began to wonder what Tony was trying to achieve.
Still, the dissolution of tension between the two men was a welcomed relief on set and filming became more of a joy now that no-one was worrying about offending one by spending time with the other. Socialising as a group became a more common event as the guest list became less of a concern and there was an overall more close-knit feel to the show that newcomers commented on as if it had always been so.
Before long, Valentine’s was fast approaching. The singletons of the cast and crew arranged a night out; Ryan was surprised to see Tony was included in that group. Though he knew Tony hadn’t had many relationships, it did surprise him that the Brit had no other plans for the day. Still, he had to admit he was glad - any night with Tony tended to be an interesting one to say the least. This night proved to be no different as Tony and Josie had taken charge of the group and ensured that much alcohol was consumed before hitting a club where those who wanted to pull would have the opportunity while the rest of the group could ensure nothing disastrous happened.
Tony had spent most of the night hovering close to Ryan’s side. Ryan wasn’t sure why, but the notion both intrigued and concerned him - if Tony was having a crisis of confidence, Ryan would of course do what he could, but he found himself hoping it was something more than that. Which in itself confused him - he was straight and Tony was just a friend. Or was that the case? Ryan had to wonder how much he had drunk - how else would he have been brought to the conclusion he had been?
As the night drew to a close, neither side had made their move. Ryan was just on the verge of considering that this was probably a good thing when he felt an insistent tug at his hand. As he looked up desperate lips closed on his, begging answer to a question that, until now, Ryan hadn’t even thought needed answering. Driven by instinct, Ryan brought a hand to the back of the other man’s head, stopping Tony from trying to pull back as he responded to the kiss.
When the need to breathe intervened, Ryan pulled back and tilted Tony’s head up, forcing the Brit to look at him. “If any word that even suggests at sorry leaves your lips, I will be forced to slap you.”
First time
The relationship progressed slowly and in secret. Tony didn’t trust people not to turn on him; Ryan, even knowing what he knew, didn’t quite trust that Tony would stick around for long. Still, as months passed the two men grew closer still, and it became apparent to both that this was something serious.
They spent hours debating how they were going to break the news. They eventually decided that the night of Ryan’s birthday would serve as an easy way to let people know without having to come out and say anything. There would be need for explanations however things were done, of course, but it somehow seemed so much easier to not have to find the right words. Show, not tell, isn’t that what all the great storywriters say? Well that was what they would do, and deal with the consequences later.
As his birthday drew nearer, however, Ryan grew concerned that Tony was having doubts. The Brit seemed to become more and more distant, to the point that on the night before his birthday Ryan snapped and demanded to know what was going on.
Tony hadn’t answered immediately. He had sat chewing the base of his thumbnail, though Ryan couldn’t tell if it was in thought or an attempt to avoid the question. Eventually, Tony gave his answer and suddenly Ryan understood.
“It’s not that I want to be distant from you. I just don’t want to end up pushing you into something you’re not ready for.”
Thus opened yet another discussion for Ryan and Tony. Ryan had never done it with a man; learning that Tony had was no real surprise to him. Tony had been trying to think of a way that would make everything perfect; Ryan had wondered why Tony hadn’t just asked. As they spoke, both men edged closer to one another and when their eyes finally met, the unspoken signal was given.
It would be tonight. It would be now. And even if it wasn’t perfect, it would be theirs.
First what?
And so it was that Ryan had found himself in Tony’s bed, on the morning of his birthday, wondering what came next. Obviously, tonight would be the first time they made their relationship public, but did anything come before that? What if they didn’t make it that far - was there scope for a first fight when they’d argued before? What if last night’s first had simply been the first man Ryan would do that with?
It took him some time to realise he was being watched. Looking up, he saw Tony standing in the doorway with two mugs in his hands and an amused smirk on his lips. Tony walked further into the room as he asked, “Nice where you were?”
Ryan chuckled as he took one of the mugs from Tony. The aroma of coffee had hit him as soon as Tony had drawn close enough and this was one first that was never negotiable - first caffeine of the day. As he lifted the mug to his lips, he heard a contented sigh as Tony sat on the edge of the bed closest to him.
He knew he was being watched some more as he drank his coffee, but Ryan was happy not to question. Tony, however, didn’t seem happy for him not to answer. “Tell me you weren’t thinking in negatives.”
Ryan placed the mug on the bedside table before reaching for one of Tony’s hands. “Not in negatives. Just in firsts.”
“Oh?” Tony took a sip of his own coffee. “Funny, I was thinking the opposite of that while I was downstairs.”
Ryan frowned a little. “How do you mean? Was last night…”
“Last night was perfect,” Tony quickly cut in. “Last night was what made me think of other lasts. Such as how - if you’ll allow it of course - you’re the last person I’ll ever do that with.”
Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Is that a good thing?”
“I think so.” Tony shifted closer. “Look, Ryan, I know we had a shaky start. But I want this to be it. The real thing. I want you to be the last person I call mine, because I can’t see myself wanting anyone that isn’t you.”
As Tony spoke, Ryan thought back to his previous musings. While he had been tempted to dismiss thoughts of ‘last’ as negative, in truth Tony’s train of thought was more positive than the trail of firsts Ryan had been charting their relationship in.
His silence seemed to stir concern in Tony. “Did I say something wrong?”
“What? No, not at all. The opposite, in fact.” Ryan grinned. “It’s just maybe I need to start changing my thought processes. Maybe I need to stop seeing everything in terms of firsts.”
“How about you don’t, and balance out my lasts?” Tony leant in to kiss Ryan. “You know one can’t exist without the other.”
“You trying to drop hints?” Ryan pulled Tony closer, nipping at Tony’s bottom lip. “’Cause that’s a pretty good analogy.”
For every first there is a last, and one cannot be called better than the other in every situation.