Err..
Title: Playing to your Advantage ( 13. Masterstroke)
Genre: Humor
Characters: Rabastan Lestrange, Rosalind Bungs, Amycus Carrow, Rodolphus Lestrange, Regulus Black, Lucius Malfoy, Evan Rosier, Myrtle; Gryffindor Quidditch Team, rest of the Slytherin Quidditch Team, assorted professors and staff mentioned.
Rating: PG, coz Amycus couldn't be bothered to put clothes on.
Word Count: 1244 words
Summary: Detentions are being served in the Slytherin Common Rooms. Professor Slughorn seems to have an interesting opinion of what a detention should be.
Author's Notes: Originally written for something else, declared stupid, then rewritten for this prompt. Evan Rosier is significantly missing because I decided he was too busy laughing his arse off at the spectacle to join in. Evan's apparently in there and I just read over him. Sorry, Evan.
"Aaaannndd...this is it, ladies and gentlemen!" Myrtle's voice boomed over the Quidditch Pitch. "It's the first match of the year! The weather is great, the leaves of autumn are falling. It's time to start things off with a bang as this match is expected to be rather explosive! Gryffindorrrrrr versus Slytheriiiiiiiin!" Myrtle announced to the sounds of loud cheers from both ends of the Pitch. "Your Gryffindor Lions: Captain Potter, Black, Weasley, Weasley, Weasley, what is with all the Weasleys? and Potter!!! From the other side of the Pitch, please welcome your Slytherin Snakes: Captain Malfoy, Black, Lestrange, Black, Lestrange, Carrow aaand Malfoy!!!"
The players walked out onto the field. Madam Hooch stood between them. "Captains, shake hands. Now, I want a good, clean match, both of you. No funny business. All right, mount your brooms..." Madam Hooch's whistle sounded and the Quaffle was tossed in the air.
"And they're off! Malfoy with an early possesssion...ow! That had to hurt, but excellent aim from Fred Weasley. Black's in possession of the Quaffle now...I mean Sirius, that is...James Potter, Sirius Black, James Potter, Sirius Black aaaaand goal! First points of the match go to Gryffindor!" There was a loud cheer from the Gryffindor side of the Pitch.
The Slytherin team retaliated quickly with two successive goals, one by Lucius and the other by Rabastan. The game progressed with neither team gaining much leverage over the other. It seemed that whoever caught the Snitch first would be the most likely victor.
"OUCH! Both Captains have called a time-out! Regulus Black is out with a broken nose after colliding head-on with Ginny Weasley. Neither of them look too good. Alecto Carrow is now assuming Chaser for the Slytherin Team and Victoire Weasley is stepping up for the Gryffindor team. Game continues with 70-50 in favor of the Gryffindors," Myrtle announced, looking at the situation on the ground with a pair of omnioculars.
"FOUL!" Myrtle called out. "Bellatrix Black has just hit Fred Weasley's head with her Beater's Bat. She seems to claim she thought his head was a Bludger due to unnatural size and color. Madam Hooch is not buying it. Bellatrix Black is out and will be replaced by Gregory Goyle. Fred Weasley doesn't seem to be able to stay on his broom. Who's coming...ah, it's Gideon Prewett, whose brother Fabian would've been starting today had he not also been recovering from a Slytherin-related injury, but Professor McGonagall is giving me the look so that story will have to be for another time. Wait...Captain Malfoy seems to be angry with something. He's yelling at Captain Potter. Sirius Black has now joined the fray...the Carrow twins - what? oh, they're not twins - huh, I thought they were - the Carrows, at any rate, have landed and there's Amycus's fist colliding with Sirius's face. It's an all out fistfight now!" Myrtle announced. "Victoire Weasley has just joined them, she's tapping into her inner veela, that one. Try not to look, boys, this isn't going to be pretty. And down goes Gideon Prewett, courtesy of Rabastan Lestrange. Ah, but George has just pulled his wand out...no, that's blocked. Will someone please help Madam Hoo---oh, Merlin, DUCK!!!"
Rabastan and Regulus ran their bloodied faces under the heat of the spray from the shower. Rodolphus sat on one of the benches, one towel around his waist and one dabbing at the cut above his left eye. Lucius leaned against the wall, a bag of ice against an eye that was going to bruise. Evan was lying on his belly in boxers on top of a table. "Where is Madam Pomfrey?" Amycus croaked from his lying position on another of the benches. He hadn't bothered to put anything on from sheer exhaustion.
"She went to take care of the girls first," Regulus answered, pressing his swollen lip gently.
"I don't think it was a good idea she took both sets of girls up at the same time," Rodolphus chuckled, wondering what Bella was doing. "Crap, remind me to punch that Potter in the face the next time we see him."
"Potter's mine," Lucius growled, shifting the position of the ice.
The door to the Locker Room opened. They turned towards it, fully expecting Madam Pomfrey. "Well, it's about time," Rod said crossly, standing up. "Merlin, you're not Madam Pomfrey."
"Glad to know," Rosalind said, stepping into the boys' locker room.
"Merlin's pants!" Amycus cursed as he jumped off the bench and scrambled about, looking for a towel.
Lucius sat up. "What're you doing here?" he muttered.
Regulus inched away from the showers, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible as he reached for his towel.
"I'm here to deliver your detentions," Rosalind said.
"Why you?" Lucius said.
"Why not me?" Rosalind replied, looking at Rabastan, who was the only boy who did not seem concerned at his apparent lack of clothes. Rosalind pouted as she walked towards him. "Aww, what did they do to you, Bunny?" she said as she cupped his face in her hands.
"Pfft. Bunny," Amycus snorted.
"Hey! I thought I was the only one who could call you that!" Rodolphus declared.
"Tsh," Rabastan muttered and let Rosalind smooth back his wet hair. "And our detentions...?"
"Oh, right," Rosalind pressed a finger against her lips, her habit when thinking. "Detentions shall happen at six in the evening from Friday through Sunday, due to the severity of your actions. Amycus shall be serving detention with James Potter, Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley and Bellatrix under Professor McGonagall."
"Merlin, why did I get her?" Amycus groaned, leaning his head on top of the bench he had vacated.
"She likes you. Regulus will be cleaning Greenhouse One with his brother, Gideon Prewett and Goyle - if they manage to revive him, that is - under Filch's supervision. Lucius will be working in Greenhouse Two with Alecto aaand the Weasley Twins under Professor Sprout."
"You've got to be kidding me," Lucius muttered.
"At least you don't have to contend with the Squib," Regulus groaned.
"I'm not kidding," Rosalind shrugged. "Rodolphus and Evan are to report to Professor Flitwick. I'm not entirely sure what you are going to be doing, but Victoire and Ron Weasley will be there with you."
"I guess if the Veela's around, it can't be half bad," Rod grinned. "Hey, what does Rabastan get?"
"Oh, Rabastan will be helping Professor Slughorn's remedial Potions student," she said.
"Pffft!" Rodolphus grinned. "Well, good luck there, mate!" he looked at Rabastan, who was watching Rosalind with a curious expression.
"Do we know who it is?" Regulus asked.
"Who cares who it is, can't be anyone interesting, Professor Bunny," Rod teased.
"Don't be stupid, Slughorn doesn't have a remedial potions class," Rabastan said.
"He makes allocations for favored students," Rosalind replied with a smile.
"No..." Amycus glared at Rosalind. Regulus' and Rodolphus' mouths hung open as they glared at Rosalind. Even Lucius fixed his one good eye on the dark-haired Gryffindor.
"Oh, come on, all you boys are looking at me like I couldn't perform something as simple as a...Confundus Charm, for example."
"Merlin, that's cheating!" Rod declared.
"No, it's called playing to your advantage," Rosalind retorted as she turned around and headed for the door. "I'll see you Friday, Professor," she winked at Rabastan before skipping out the door.
"I've been looking in the wrong house," Amycus declared before sliding down on the floor.
Genre: Humor
Characters: Rabastan Lestrange, Rosalind Bungs, Amycus Carrow, Rodolphus Lestrange, Regulus Black, Lucius Malfoy, Evan Rosier, Myrtle; Gryffindor Quidditch Team, rest of the Slytherin Quidditch Team, assorted professors and staff mentioned.
Rating: PG, coz Amycus couldn't be bothered to put clothes on.
Word Count: 1244 words
Summary: Detentions are being served in the Slytherin Common Rooms. Professor Slughorn seems to have an interesting opinion of what a detention should be.
Author's Notes: Originally written for something else, declared stupid, then rewritten for this prompt. Evan Rosier is significantly missing because I decided he was too busy laughing his arse off at the spectacle to join in. Evan's apparently in there and I just read over him. Sorry, Evan.
"Aaaannndd...this is it, ladies and gentlemen!" Myrtle's voice boomed over the Quidditch Pitch. "It's the first match of the year! The weather is great, the leaves of autumn are falling. It's time to start things off with a bang as this match is expected to be rather explosive! Gryffindorrrrrr versus Slytheriiiiiiiin!" Myrtle announced to the sounds of loud cheers from both ends of the Pitch. "Your Gryffindor Lions: Captain Potter, Black, Weasley, Weasley, Weasley, what is with all the Weasleys? and Potter!!! From the other side of the Pitch, please welcome your Slytherin Snakes: Captain Malfoy, Black, Lestrange, Black, Lestrange, Carrow aaand Malfoy!!!"
The players walked out onto the field. Madam Hooch stood between them. "Captains, shake hands. Now, I want a good, clean match, both of you. No funny business. All right, mount your brooms..." Madam Hooch's whistle sounded and the Quaffle was tossed in the air.
"And they're off! Malfoy with an early possesssion...ow! That had to hurt, but excellent aim from Fred Weasley. Black's in possession of the Quaffle now...I mean Sirius, that is...James Potter, Sirius Black, James Potter, Sirius Black aaaaand goal! First points of the match go to Gryffindor!" There was a loud cheer from the Gryffindor side of the Pitch.
The Slytherin team retaliated quickly with two successive goals, one by Lucius and the other by Rabastan. The game progressed with neither team gaining much leverage over the other. It seemed that whoever caught the Snitch first would be the most likely victor.
"OUCH! Both Captains have called a time-out! Regulus Black is out with a broken nose after colliding head-on with Ginny Weasley. Neither of them look too good. Alecto Carrow is now assuming Chaser for the Slytherin Team and Victoire Weasley is stepping up for the Gryffindor team. Game continues with 70-50 in favor of the Gryffindors," Myrtle announced, looking at the situation on the ground with a pair of omnioculars.
"FOUL!" Myrtle called out. "Bellatrix Black has just hit Fred Weasley's head with her Beater's Bat. She seems to claim she thought his head was a Bludger due to unnatural size and color. Madam Hooch is not buying it. Bellatrix Black is out and will be replaced by Gregory Goyle. Fred Weasley doesn't seem to be able to stay on his broom. Who's coming...ah, it's Gideon Prewett, whose brother Fabian would've been starting today had he not also been recovering from a Slytherin-related injury, but Professor McGonagall is giving me the look so that story will have to be for another time. Wait...Captain Malfoy seems to be angry with something. He's yelling at Captain Potter. Sirius Black has now joined the fray...the Carrow twins - what? oh, they're not twins - huh, I thought they were - the Carrows, at any rate, have landed and there's Amycus's fist colliding with Sirius's face. It's an all out fistfight now!" Myrtle announced. "Victoire Weasley has just joined them, she's tapping into her inner veela, that one. Try not to look, boys, this isn't going to be pretty. And down goes Gideon Prewett, courtesy of Rabastan Lestrange. Ah, but George has just pulled his wand out...no, that's blocked. Will someone please help Madam Hoo---oh, Merlin, DUCK!!!"
Rabastan and Regulus ran their bloodied faces under the heat of the spray from the shower. Rodolphus sat on one of the benches, one towel around his waist and one dabbing at the cut above his left eye. Lucius leaned against the wall, a bag of ice against an eye that was going to bruise. Evan was lying on his belly in boxers on top of a table. "Where is Madam Pomfrey?" Amycus croaked from his lying position on another of the benches. He hadn't bothered to put anything on from sheer exhaustion.
"She went to take care of the girls first," Regulus answered, pressing his swollen lip gently.
"I don't think it was a good idea she took both sets of girls up at the same time," Rodolphus chuckled, wondering what Bella was doing. "Crap, remind me to punch that Potter in the face the next time we see him."
"Potter's mine," Lucius growled, shifting the position of the ice.
The door to the Locker Room opened. They turned towards it, fully expecting Madam Pomfrey. "Well, it's about time," Rod said crossly, standing up. "Merlin, you're not Madam Pomfrey."
"Glad to know," Rosalind said, stepping into the boys' locker room.
"Merlin's pants!" Amycus cursed as he jumped off the bench and scrambled about, looking for a towel.
Lucius sat up. "What're you doing here?" he muttered.
Regulus inched away from the showers, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible as he reached for his towel.
"I'm here to deliver your detentions," Rosalind said.
"Why you?" Lucius said.
"Why not me?" Rosalind replied, looking at Rabastan, who was the only boy who did not seem concerned at his apparent lack of clothes. Rosalind pouted as she walked towards him. "Aww, what did they do to you, Bunny?" she said as she cupped his face in her hands.
"Pfft. Bunny," Amycus snorted.
"Hey! I thought I was the only one who could call you that!" Rodolphus declared.
"Tsh," Rabastan muttered and let Rosalind smooth back his wet hair. "And our detentions...?"
"Oh, right," Rosalind pressed a finger against her lips, her habit when thinking. "Detentions shall happen at six in the evening from Friday through Sunday, due to the severity of your actions. Amycus shall be serving detention with James Potter, Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley and Bellatrix under Professor McGonagall."
"Merlin, why did I get her?" Amycus groaned, leaning his head on top of the bench he had vacated.
"She likes you. Regulus will be cleaning Greenhouse One with his brother, Gideon Prewett and Goyle - if they manage to revive him, that is - under Filch's supervision. Lucius will be working in Greenhouse Two with Alecto aaand the Weasley Twins under Professor Sprout."
"You've got to be kidding me," Lucius muttered.
"At least you don't have to contend with the Squib," Regulus groaned.
"I'm not kidding," Rosalind shrugged. "Rodolphus and Evan are to report to Professor Flitwick. I'm not entirely sure what you are going to be doing, but Victoire and Ron Weasley will be there with you."
"I guess if the Veela's around, it can't be half bad," Rod grinned. "Hey, what does Rabastan get?"
"Oh, Rabastan will be helping Professor Slughorn's remedial Potions student," she said.
"Pffft!" Rodolphus grinned. "Well, good luck there, mate!" he looked at Rabastan, who was watching Rosalind with a curious expression.
"Do we know who it is?" Regulus asked.
"Who cares who it is, can't be anyone interesting, Professor Bunny," Rod teased.
"Don't be stupid, Slughorn doesn't have a remedial potions class," Rabastan said.
"He makes allocations for favored students," Rosalind replied with a smile.
"No..." Amycus glared at Rosalind. Regulus' and Rodolphus' mouths hung open as they glared at Rosalind. Even Lucius fixed his one good eye on the dark-haired Gryffindor.
"Oh, come on, all you boys are looking at me like I couldn't perform something as simple as a...Confundus Charm, for example."
"Merlin, that's cheating!" Rod declared.
"No, it's called playing to your advantage," Rosalind retorted as she turned around and headed for the door. "I'll see you Friday, Professor," she winked at Rabastan before skipping out the door.
"I've been looking in the wrong house," Amycus declared before sliding down on the floor.