I just want to hear
that at some point
there is a possibility
that I could mean something
to you and that
my time is not being
inevitably wasted on
false pretenses
and falling into a love
that has me so elated
all I can do is
just glow in the dark
and hope that you
notice that it's for you.

Finally, I can say
I've emptied all my boxes,
posted all my pictures,
and am increasingly less surprised by a new surrounding
when I wake up every morning.

Today,
I re-arranged the furniture
for the 14th time
before I realized
none of this is replacing what I'm missing.

Results 1 - 10 of about 31,100 for "what the fuck am i doing". (0.19 seconds)

Mostly, I just want to make a line graph.

X is time, measuring my life.
Y is measured in units of how much I think "what the fuck am I doing."

I'd spike it up and down, but up the past few weeks.

You know how you can be feeling so slow inside, your blood feels viscous pumping so slowly in that endless circuit, your own body is hot and tired and suffocating? You may be drowning but you can’t get yourself to react; but then something can happen - some boy - maybe he looks like Robert Smith from The Cure; he’ll smile at you in just the right ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wonder if anyone realizes it's possible to have a strong belief about something without putting it all over a blog, car or t-shirt.

When I look at you,
I sometimes forget how I looked at anybody else -
all of their characteristics opaque mist and blurring colors,
where all of you is focused.

The irony of it is how I simply cannot think of the irony of it ( Read more... )

What with the onset of chillier weather, some of my more prominent summertime playmates heading back to school, and my impending PhD application deadlines, I've been spending more of my evenings lounging about the house getting work done or just snoozing on the couch while episodes of The X-Files play on tv ( Read more... )

What is my problem lately? I am so fragile. So quick to temper and easily bruised.

Conversation with tree in the middle of the road during a thunderstorm ( Read more... )