Moar Gundam 00 Crackfic!
Oh boy. My brain, it is cracked.
MASKS
Setsuna F Seiei frowned at the offending strip of fabric. He wasn't quite sure if he remembered Lockon's instructions on how to tie the proper knot. After a few failed attempts, the scarf was finally bunched (rather uncomfortably) around his throat. He compared his image in the mirror to the picture his fellow Meister had provided. Good enough.
Stepping out into the hallway, he found Lockon ready and waiting. The taller man had abandoned his usual vest and gloves and exchanged his blue jeans for brown, but otherwise his appearance was relatively unchanged.
"Typical. Yours requires the least amount of effort and embarrassment." Lockon merely grinned in reply.
Setsuna glanced at Haro. The little robot had been draped in fake brown fur and sported a rather silly rubber nose. "How did you get dragged into this, Haro?"
"Scooby snack! Scooby snack!"
Lockon glanced at his watch. "Tieria, Allelujah, hurry up! The party's going to start without us!"
"Ruh-roh! Ruh-roh!"
"I’ve changed my mind!" Even muffled by the door, Tieria’s voice was sharp. There was no response whatsoever from Allelujah.
"Come on, Tieria. Crippling embarrassment doesn't befit a Gundam Meister."
There was a long pause before Tieria's door finally opened. "Neither do knee socks," the boy snarled as he slipped into the hall.
"Nonsense, you look great," said Lockon in his most reassuring voice. Setsuna's mouth twitched. In truth, the orange sweater clashed spectacularly with Tieria's purple hair. The skirt wasn't too bad, though. Tieria certainly had the legs for-
Remembering what had happened at last year's Halloween party, Setsuna quickly and deliberately averted his gaze.
"I only agreed to this because as horrible as this costume is, it still represents a minor improvement over last year's." Tieria struggled to cross his arms, the movement hampered by his sweater's voluminous sleeves. "And because Allelujah Haptism's costume is much more humiliating. If he's not going, I'm not going."
"He's going." There was iron in Lockon's voice. "Allelujah?"
*****
Barricaded in his quarters, Allelujah sat on his cot and fumed. Every inch of him, from his lovely lavender headband to the pert little bows on his shoes, looked absolutely ridiculous.
“Come on, Allelujah. Time to go.” Lockon’s voice was infuriatingly smug.
"Why the hell do I have to be Daphne!?" he yelled through the door, his normally mild voice almost painfully shrill.
"We've been over this. Setsuna is our resident scarf-wearer and Tieria has the glasses and haircut for Velma. Besides, Daphne's the one most likely to have PMS."
In his head, Hallelujah snorted with laughter.
Alle rolled his eyes at his alter ego. "You do know he's talking about you, right?"
The laughter ceased abruptly. "Bastard," Halle muttered. "I liked our costume much better last year."
"We did make a great Two-Face," agreed Alle, "but Lockon's ego would crush us all if he got to be Batman two years running. Besides, do you really want to see Setsuna in those tights and fairy boots again?"
"No." Halle shuddered. "Although as I recall, you seemed particularly fond of Tieria's Catwoman costume..."
"Don't start." A few too many drinks had led to some rather... inappropriate comments aimed at his fellow Meister. Tieria had been less than amused. The whip welts had taken weeks to heal. And Alle and Halle were still arguing over which one was responsible for starting the long string of pussy jokes.
“Allelujah Haptism, if you don’t get your pretty purple-skirted ass out here, I’m telling Sumeragi who’s been swiping her double malt.”
Alle knew Lockon wasn’t bluffing. This annual costume contest was one of the few things he took as seriously as his sniping. “There isn’t a fate painful enough for that man,” he muttered as he stood and smoothed his skirt.
“You could beat him to death with the costume contest trophy,” Halle suggested. “Or steal Dynames, paint orange flowers and ‘The Celestial Being Mystery Machine’ across the front, and step on him with it. Or find out if Tieria still has that whip around and...”
By the time he opened the door, Allelujah was laughing too hard to hear the catcalls.
MASKS
Setsuna F Seiei frowned at the offending strip of fabric. He wasn't quite sure if he remembered Lockon's instructions on how to tie the proper knot. After a few failed attempts, the scarf was finally bunched (rather uncomfortably) around his throat. He compared his image in the mirror to the picture his fellow Meister had provided. Good enough.
Stepping out into the hallway, he found Lockon ready and waiting. The taller man had abandoned his usual vest and gloves and exchanged his blue jeans for brown, but otherwise his appearance was relatively unchanged.
"Typical. Yours requires the least amount of effort and embarrassment." Lockon merely grinned in reply.
Setsuna glanced at Haro. The little robot had been draped in fake brown fur and sported a rather silly rubber nose. "How did you get dragged into this, Haro?"
"Scooby snack! Scooby snack!"
Lockon glanced at his watch. "Tieria, Allelujah, hurry up! The party's going to start without us!"
"Ruh-roh! Ruh-roh!"
"I’ve changed my mind!" Even muffled by the door, Tieria’s voice was sharp. There was no response whatsoever from Allelujah.
"Come on, Tieria. Crippling embarrassment doesn't befit a Gundam Meister."
There was a long pause before Tieria's door finally opened. "Neither do knee socks," the boy snarled as he slipped into the hall.
"Nonsense, you look great," said Lockon in his most reassuring voice. Setsuna's mouth twitched. In truth, the orange sweater clashed spectacularly with Tieria's purple hair. The skirt wasn't too bad, though. Tieria certainly had the legs for-
Remembering what had happened at last year's Halloween party, Setsuna quickly and deliberately averted his gaze.
"I only agreed to this because as horrible as this costume is, it still represents a minor improvement over last year's." Tieria struggled to cross his arms, the movement hampered by his sweater's voluminous sleeves. "And because Allelujah Haptism's costume is much more humiliating. If he's not going, I'm not going."
"He's going." There was iron in Lockon's voice. "Allelujah?"
*****
Barricaded in his quarters, Allelujah sat on his cot and fumed. Every inch of him, from his lovely lavender headband to the pert little bows on his shoes, looked absolutely ridiculous.
“Come on, Allelujah. Time to go.” Lockon’s voice was infuriatingly smug.
"Why the hell do I have to be Daphne!?" he yelled through the door, his normally mild voice almost painfully shrill.
"We've been over this. Setsuna is our resident scarf-wearer and Tieria has the glasses and haircut for Velma. Besides, Daphne's the one most likely to have PMS."
In his head, Hallelujah snorted with laughter.
Alle rolled his eyes at his alter ego. "You do know he's talking about you, right?"
The laughter ceased abruptly. "Bastard," Halle muttered. "I liked our costume much better last year."
"We did make a great Two-Face," agreed Alle, "but Lockon's ego would crush us all if he got to be Batman two years running. Besides, do you really want to see Setsuna in those tights and fairy boots again?"
"No." Halle shuddered. "Although as I recall, you seemed particularly fond of Tieria's Catwoman costume..."
"Don't start." A few too many drinks had led to some rather... inappropriate comments aimed at his fellow Meister. Tieria had been less than amused. The whip welts had taken weeks to heal. And Alle and Halle were still arguing over which one was responsible for starting the long string of pussy jokes.
“Allelujah Haptism, if you don’t get your pretty purple-skirted ass out here, I’m telling Sumeragi who’s been swiping her double malt.”
Alle knew Lockon wasn’t bluffing. This annual costume contest was one of the few things he took as seriously as his sniping. “There isn’t a fate painful enough for that man,” he muttered as he stood and smoothed his skirt.
“You could beat him to death with the costume contest trophy,” Halle suggested. “Or steal Dynames, paint orange flowers and ‘The Celestial Being Mystery Machine’ across the front, and step on him with it. Or find out if Tieria still has that whip around and...”
By the time he opened the door, Allelujah was laughing too hard to hear the catcalls.