tg butches

[fey_seraph]

the universe is not a big, epic story of dismay or disappointment or success, and that most of the stories we tell ourselves about our pasts are just that- stories. That situations are real, with real causes, involving real human beings, with real limitations.That can be very freeing

Comments

[suenoverde]

I really find this enlightening. I have a lot of respect and sympathy for transpeople because it took me so long to feel comfortable in my body and in the world (this is an ongoing process though I think for everyone). I often feel alien for my thoughts and desires and having a male body took me a long time to acknowledge and enjoy. The only thing I know for sure about this universe is that change/entropy is the only constant. Therefore if I was in your position I would decline anything invasive as well. But then again I am very cerebral and minds mean more to me than bodies. Sounds like you are getting close to solutions to some of your problems and close to new and exciting problems.

[fey_seraph]

Thanks for your response. I appreciate knowing more about you and your trouble accepting your body. I agree that change is a constant. I too sometimes feel that minds are more important than bodies, and that's why testosterone feels more invasive to me than surgery ; testosterone changes the brain and way of being, and surgery changes the body. I think sometimes I can be TOO cerebral; everything points to chest surgery being much, much better for me than living with my current chest situation, but I hang back because permanent change scares me, feels sacrilegious?

I agree with your last sentence, too; I've been feeling that powerfully.

[iwanaberussian]

i admire that you continue to evolve and learn yourself, your quest is so beautiful. it erks me when people have just decided things about themselves and give up completely on self realization because they are so addicted to a certain persona that their identity becomes their crutch.

im also glad you have discontinued testosterone treatments, ive been learning a lot about synthetic hormones and HRT (mainly in menopausal woman) with my herb studies and the effects in the body are HORRENDOUS and are the source for many dis-eases and can definitely be the culprit for you blood sugar issues.

[fey_seraph]

Thanks for your support- I feel supported by a lot of people on line. I've talked to one of my roommates I live with currently, and he was not unsupportive, but not really supportive either. It's very important to him that I be a man, and whenever I try to talk to him about the complexities, he usually wants me to verify that I am still a man and will work on becoming more the man that I am, etc. I haven't talked with my boyfriend about this either. I don't even want to try to delineate the whole experience; how can I explain that I am really, constantly unhappy and confused by my female body, and yet I don't really identify as a man? Psychology has no place for me and I don't really care; Fuck them and their "science" of western patriarchial bullshit

[fey_seraph]

thank you!! :)

I would definitely try a natural testosterone-type supplement if I could get it.

If you come up with anything blood/gender related let me know, this has always been the hardest thing for me to figure out.