(no subject)
You know the first important thing I've ever done in my life turns out to be a mistake.
I thought by not telling them, I was making things easier and I wasn't making them choose. I thought that I was doing the right thing, my life for theirs--for Spira's. I didn't think it was an unfair trade but the way Yuna was talking, it sounds like it was. I can't believe I messed up the first big decision of my life, I tried to do the right thing and I felt good, I was okay with going because she was safe--they were all safe.
I don't understand, I thought...I thought it was the right thing to do. I helped to defeat Sin and in doing so, I condemned myself to death but I didn't care. I knew I had to vanish in order to save her and countless others. The first big selfless thing I do and it winds up being this big mistake that made Yuna miserable for years afterwards. I never met to do that, I never wanted her to feel like that. I just wanted her alive and well, I just wanted to be the person she believed I was. The man worthy of her love but when I look back at this post--I guess my dad was right, once a crybaby always a crybaby..he always said I would fail at everything and I guess he was right.
I thought coming back was supposed to be a good thing? I thought that people would be happy to see me but....I see her and there's all this pain all stored up inside and it just comes out and hits me in the face. I mean, I probably deserve it but I just wish I hadn't caused it in the first place. I was brought to Spira for a point--Auron brought me because he knew...he always knew but now, what point do I have?
Why did the Fayth bring me back? Why am I here?
I'm really beginning to hate this place........I can't be in Spira, it brings back too many memories and I almost feel like I'm drowning in them.
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Again, I hate thinking
It leads to thoughts I'd rather not have and I'm beginning to wonder why I even bother with it at all.
If anyone wants me, I'll be in the Stadium.
I thought by not telling them, I was making things easier and I wasn't making them choose. I thought that I was doing the right thing, my life for theirs--for Spira's. I didn't think it was an unfair trade but the way Yuna was talking, it sounds like it was. I can't believe I messed up the first big decision of my life, I tried to do the right thing and I felt good, I was okay with going because she was safe--they were all safe.
I don't understand, I thought...I thought it was the right thing to do. I helped to defeat Sin and in doing so, I condemned myself to death but I didn't care. I knew I had to vanish in order to save her and countless others. The first big selfless thing I do and it winds up being this big mistake that made Yuna miserable for years afterwards. I never met to do that, I never wanted her to feel like that. I just wanted her alive and well, I just wanted to be the person she believed I was. The man worthy of her love but when I look back at this post--I guess my dad was right, once a crybaby always a crybaby..he always said I would fail at everything and I guess he was right.
I thought coming back was supposed to be a good thing? I thought that people would be happy to see me but....I see her and there's all this pain all stored up inside and it just comes out and hits me in the face. I mean, I probably deserve it but I just wish I hadn't caused it in the first place. I was brought to Spira for a point--Auron brought me because he knew...he always knew but now, what point do I have?
Why did the Fayth bring me back? Why am I here?
I'm really beginning to hate this place........I can't be in Spira, it brings back too many memories and I almost feel like I'm drowning in them.
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Again, I hate thinking
It leads to thoughts I'd rather not have and I'm beginning to wonder why I even bother with it at all.
If anyone wants me, I'll be in the Stadium.