i'd just like to thank you for letting me know where you stand on things in your other post. i don't know if i can take anything you say seriously right now because of how much some of that shit you said hurt. from the looks of it, who knows if anything you've said to me has been true and our engagement means next to nothing if not nothing to you. along with the laundry list of gripes about me that you voiced not so long ago who knows where i stand with you now. if everything up until now really has come to mean nothing then thank you for allowing me to live a fantasy i would have preferred to be reality and thank you for wrenching my heart out the other day. i appreciate the wake-up call. and here i thought i was on a much better track to help secure a better future for us together, guess i was wrong... about a lot of things. i don't know what other ideas and opinions your mother planted in your head, but what does it matter. you're your own person and an adult so you can make your own decisions i would hope. it's high time
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I was never leading you on with anything I said. At the time I said it I beleived it. But things change I geuss. I just don't know if I love you as much as you love me. Its easy to say you want to marry someone that afterwards you realize that your only 19. Its especially easy when your drunk the first time and someone takes it to heart so much that you can't bear to say anything diffrent afterwards. My level of loving you seems to change everyday. I'm sorry I don't know where I stand on everything and that it isn't always the same when it comes to you. I don't want to pull you around like this but I don't know what else to do when my feelings about you are constantly changing.
and i happen to like being loved that much. you used to display that kind of emotion and lately it felt like that was coming back just in the way you kissed me more passionately more often. i guess i was wrong though. just let me know what you want to do with me as in keep me or throw me away so i don't wind up hanging onto threads that aren't there.
Some people say that life is the best thing to ever happin to us! our whole humanity! hmmm i say no! i say life iz gud when your happy! but when your family friends and so called wife brings you down!...you are stuck! your stuck between life and death the reason i say this is because life isnt what you think it iz! life iz a joke! when you are born! its only you! not a mother or a father or a friend or a soulmate! its you and 4ever will be you! and when you go down u think! everysingle dai u think! how will u survive! how will u succeed to the level of greatness that you should be! if u have no idea! then whats the point in life! well im from buffalo! And buffalo has the most terrible people in it! 25% gud 50% racist 85% bad and 100% pointless! now i hate this pittiful town! i have a mind that could get me to the top of the world! But from being in this town and growing up here! my mine is now blank! and since my mind is blank! i should just die right? i wounder what would happen to a guy like me tho! will i r.i.p or just rest! who
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