Chapter 03 - Crisis of Confession, Part 1
Fandom: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII (FFVII, Advent Children, Crisis Core, Before Crisis, Dirge of Cerberus)
Pairing: Established Zack/Aerith, Eventual Sephiroth/Cloud (Subject to possible additions)
Rating: Teen (Subject to change)
Warnings: Violence, Language, Pretty much what you'd expect from FFVII. (Subject to additions)
Genre: Time Travel, AU, Action/Adventure, Drama, Friendship, Romance.
Words: 17,613
Summary: At first it was about preventing tragedy. For Cloud it soon becomes a fight to protect new bonds, tread untrod paths and find happy endings. Second chances aren't always easy in a time where ghosts live and heroes are human.
Special Thanks To: Our darling, amazing beta/guinea pig reader leasspell_dael for all of your help, nightpounce for helping inspire the summary, and the rest of the peanut gallery.
Chapter 02 - Crisis of Confusion
Masterlist
Chapter 03 - Crisis of Confession
[ μ ] - εуλ 0001 (December 11th)
Junon, Zack thought, was all burnished bronze and golden brown, unlike Midgar. The warm colors of the city could make you forget it was essentially a giant weapon and fortress. ShinRa's Junon Branch office wasn't much different from the main headquarters in Midgar, though. Smaller, of course, much smaller, but not exactly different. There was still a lot of pretension. Zack eyeballed the huge desk at the far end of the room, before letting his attention wander to the large space's sole occupant, the very man he'd come looking for. In a space of warm tones that not even industrial steel could destroy, Sephiroth stood out like a bandersnatch among a group of jumpings. He was leaning against one of the rectangular steel desks, his back to the large screens taking up the left wall. The glow reflected off his hair, dyeing it patchy colors of pink and gold as information flickered across them.
Zack headed toward him, stopping only to grab a chair from another desk and drag it across the floor so he could position it near Sephiroth. He spun it around, then straddled it and crossed his arms over the back. Sephiroth didn't even look up from the sheet of paper his attention was apparently devoted to. Zack wondered if Sephiroth did that to look busy so people would leave him alone. The silence held, accented only by the occasional grinding of a computer, or the hiss of its cooling fans as Zack waited for Sephiroth to acknowledge him. When it became clear he wasn't going to, he locked his boots around the legs of his chair and said, “Soooo....” Sephiroth didn't even glance up. “We haven't spoken in awhile so I thought I'd come and see how you were doing, maybe have a chat....”
Sephiroth looked up at last, and Zack put on a hopeful smile. Maybe his lead in had worked. His smile turned wry when Sephiroth glanced back to the paper, though he did speak. “Don't you have things to do?”
Zack wilted slightly under the faint reprimand and ran his hand over his hair. He paused and brought it back around to look at his bare palm. He hadn't even replaced his gloves yet. “Nah, I already took care of everything that I can.” To demonstrate he held his hand up and began to tick points off on his fingers. “Got the injured men into the hands of the medical staff, made sure everyone else was assigned rooms for the night, called Lazard to give him a preliminary report and was ordered to report to him as soon as I get back to Midgar, tried to get one stubborn idiot to go with the medics and failed spectacularly, gave up, and came to find you.”
Sephiroth was actually watching him over the top of that paper he was holding now. “The one who attacked me?”
Zack did a double take at the question, and dragged his attention away from the rather nice view of the ocean out the massive windows. The sun reflecting off of it was rather dazzling. “Oh, yeah, that's the one. I'm not sure why, but he adamantly refused to get seen. I figure it might be the mako still making him jittery, so I laid off. Hopefully he'll calm down and I can get him to get a check up.” Sephiroth's intense scrutiny was weird, and Zack held his hands up as if to ward off further reprimand. “I made sure the guys who bunked down with him will keep an eye on him. A couple of them are SOLDIERs so they'll know what to watch for.”
Their conversation, if you could call it that, was interrupted by the quiet tap-tap of shoes on the floor. Zack glanced over at the same time Sephiroth did to see Tseng walking toward them. The Turk looked as impassive as ever, his suit not even the least bit rumpled. Zack kind of envied him that for a moment, until his phone beeped. When it was obvious that Tseng was there to talk to Sephiroth, he fished his phone out, one ear tuned in to the conversation beside him. It wasn't eavesdropping if they were talking right in front of him and knew he was there, after all.
“You'll be able to return to Midgar soon.” Tseng's conversational tone made Zack glance up from his phone in curiosity. Sephiroth, it seemed, had gone back to studying that paper in his hands. Zack took a moment to wonder where it had come from, and what it was even about.
“Is that so?” Sephiroth's voice startled Zack out of his contemplations, and he looked back down at his phone. The time caught his attention, and only made him feel more tired. Zack barely contained a groan.
(Only around fifteen hundred hours Midgar Standard and Junon's an hour behind....) To distract himself, he opened his inbox to check out the message he had received. Zack wasn't surprised to find it was from Kunsel.
“Yes, the arrival of the scientists is imminent,” Tseng said. His shoes scuffed ever so slightly against the floor as he turned to go, then he paused. Zack looked up again at the uncharacteristic hesitation. “I hear that this account has caught a great deal of attention.”
“Hmm, I see,” Sephiroth murmured. Zack turned his attention back to him just as Sephiroth turned and set the paper he'd been holding down on the desk. As Sephiroth swept past Tseng, he added, “Inform Director Lazard that I'll take some of the men to deal with the infestation at the Mythril Mines. It will do them good after such a...demoralizing affair. Zack, come with me.” Startled at the order, Zack knocked the chair over in his hurry to follow Sephiroth.
“What? Why?” Zack asked. He hurriedly set the chair back up, scrambled after the man, and left behind a very bemused Tseng. “What's going on, Sephiroth?” Sephiroth didn't respond, merely cut across the room and out the door onto the landing beyond. Zack followed after him, feeling a bit sulky, and turned his attention to the phone still in his hand. Sephiroth would probably tell him in due time. His boots clanged heavily on the metal stairwell as he followed Sephiroth down it, and Zack was mildly envious of the way Sephiroth's steps didn't seem quite as heavy. Then again, Sephiroth wasn't carrying a sword that probably weighed as much, if not more than he did. In fact, he didn't appear to have the Masamune on him at all. Zack finally opened the mail as they hit the landing on the first floor.
A bunch of scientists just left in several helicopters.
I heard that Hojo was among them.
I wonder what's so interesting to get that guy out of his lab?
Zack frowned at the news, then thought back on the conversation he'd just heard. Tseng had mentioned scientists arriving, and then Sephiroth had flown into motion. He paused on the last stair of the second staircase to stick his phone back into his pocket. Sephiroth didn't pause to wait for him as he cut across the room, and past the statue at its center. Zack jogged after him even as he made a mental note to tell Kunsel he needed to get a date. His friend was really too involved in his gossip collecting.
There were people loitering down here, unlike the branch office's second floor, and several of them were stopping to gawk at Sephiroth as he prowled past them in a swirl of silver hair and black leather. Zack dodged them until he fell into step with the man. “Sephiroth? Where are we going?” He wanted to ask if this had anything to do with Hojo. Angeal had said that Sephiroth didn't like the man when Genesis had attacked the ShinRa building earlier in the year. But wasn't this a bit much?
“To collect our team,” Sephiroth replied. Zack just felt more bewildered, but decided to follow along regardless. Obviously the man was up to something, even if Zack couldn't tell what.
-
Lying on the stiff, military issue bunk in the dark, Cloud listened to the rustle of cloth as someone rolled over on their own bed. The soldiers from the aborted mission had all been instructed to retire and recover, despite the relatively early hour. Not that Cloud was sleeping. He stared sightlessly at the ceiling as he let his mind wander and his body recover. It was odd; despite being dumped summarily into the past, Cloud didn't feel much different. He'd seen his face in a passing mirror; younger, his hair a wild frizz on his head from the grime and slime it had been subjected to, but still with the familiar mako glow to his eyes. Surreptitious observation led him to believe that he was depressingly even shorter now than he'd been in the future, though only by an inch or two. Other than that, he felt perfectly normal.
Even his strength was the same as before, and he knew that, logically, that shouldn't be so. Either he should have looked older, which would have brought a wealth of questions Cloud did not want to answer, or he should have been as he was years ago, a normal trooper. His body still twinged occasionally, leading him to believe the aching and muscle pains he'd experienced were connected to the amalgam of his younger and older self.
Cloud pulled his mind away from those disorientating thoughts and considered what had happened after he'd realized that Zack was real and not some sort of mako-dream. While he hadn't quite blacked out on the battlefield, he had been pretty much useless after he'd managed to stop his hysterical laughter. The adrenaline that had kept him upright up until then had run out, and his body had paid the toll. He'd been a shaky mess, unable to even walk on his own, but at least his head had finally cleared from the confusion it had suffered from his impromptu mako bath.
The helicopter ride back to Junon had been torture, however. Zack had insisted he ride with him in the smaller chopper, while the rest of the surviving troops had bundled into the larger vehicles designed to transport them and their equipment. The worst part was that Cloud was stuck in close confinement with not only a hyperactively worried Zack, but also Sephiroth, Tseng, and a much younger Reno as pilot. Cloud wondered if his ghosts had to haunt him, if they couldn't find better company next time.
As they left the area, they had passed an incoming helicopter, which Tseng had informed them-or Zack and Sephiroth, presumably, and him just by circumstance-that it was full of SOLDIER 2nds, who would take care of the cleanup of the battlefield. Cloud spent the next few hours bemusedly responding to Zack's queries about his health, mostly with a monosyllabic 'Fine'. It was slightly amusing how many times Zack had asked him if he was feeling airsick, though. The badgering had stopped when Reno lost his temper and threatened to crash the helicopter if Zack didn't shut up for five minutes. Tseng hadn't reprimanded the outburst, leading Cloud to believe that he was also tired of Zack's unending energy. It was surreal for Cloud to observe the patience Sephiroth had, and he'd been sure he saw just the hint of an amused smile at one point.
The nerve-wracking flight had finally ended when they'd landed in Junon, and Sephiroth and Tseng had taken off almost immediately. Zack stuck with Cloud, seeming to be intent on dragging him to the nearest medical facility. Cloud had resisted, not wanting to have anything to do with doctors ever again. He'd won the argument, mostly because he did seem to be fine on his feet now, having had time to recover on the trip over. Zack had trailed after him when he rejoined the troops, swiftly taking command and ordering the lot of them into the local barracks to rest and recover.
Cloud had been bunked with five others, three regular troopers and two of the SOLDIERs, who he learned were rookie Thirds. In all the confusion no one was worried about rank or division, just at finding a place to crash for a few hours as the higher-ups regrouped. It had been a surprise when the five had immediately volunteered to watch over him in response to Zack's query. He recognized a couple of the faces from the last fight among the monsters, so it was odd that they were so eager to be in his presence still. Cloud would have thought they'd have been scared off.
"Uh…. Hey Cloud, you awake?" a quiet voice drifted through the dim room from the bunk above him, and interrupted his musings abruptly. Cloud raised an eyebrow in the darkness as, around him, a sudden concentration of attention focused in his direction. Obviously his bunk mate wasn't the only one still awake.
"…Yeah," he finally answered, equally quiet. It had been a long time since strangers had attempted to talk to him. The only human contact he really had was his friends, and sometimes the orphans. Other people were just incidentals who were forgotten the moment they were out of sight.
"You, uh, doing okay?" his bunkmate asked tremulously. He sounded unsure of what to say, and Cloud didn’t blame him. To their view, Cloud must have seemed to have gone completely insane; not an uncommon occurrence due to mako poisoning. Cloud pondered for a moment if he should even bother answering the question. The opportunity was lost when another voice piped up from across the room.
"You must have been insane!" came a low, excited voice. "You went toe to toe with the General! I mean, has anyone ever seen him up close like that before?"
"I have," came a third voice. "He was there during our advancement. Damned impressive to look at, but hell if anyone can tell what he's thinking."
"I think he looked bored," came yet another voice. Cloud absently ticked off numbers in his head, trying to match the voices to the half-remembered faces of his companions. "All he had to do was stand around looking official. It was Director Lazard that did all the talking. The guy could inspire rocks to get up and march, I swear."
"Is SOLDIER all that different?" the second voice asked, eagerness lacing his tone. "It's hard enough to get into, but...um, is it worth all the hype it gets?"
"If you survive the mako, you mean?" the first SOLDIER asked, bitingly. Cloud noted the hostility there, wondering if maybe the man had had to deal with Hojo up close and personal. He wouldn't blame anyone for hating that poor excuse of a human being.
"Stop scaring the grunts, Edge," the other SOLDIER reprimanded. "SOLDIER isn't too much different. You get sent out on the harder assignments, have more responsibility, and are expected to bring back perfect results. The rumor is that if you don't fulfill your missions to the exact order, you get sent to the General to explain exactly what went wrong."
"Now who's scaring the grunts?" the first SOLDIER muttered.
"I think I'd rather stick with the regular army," Cloud's bunkmate said wistfully. "I mean, you have everything you need, and if things go wrong, it's the officer's problem to take care of it. Well, except when things like today happen, I guess."
"Do you think you're going to come back to our squad, Cloud? Or do you think the scientists are going to want to check you out, make sure the mako didn't do any damage?" Cloud started when he realized the comment was directed at him. He frowned in the dark.
"I won't go to the scientists," he said, voice quiet and firm. That, at least, he was sure of. He didn't answer the question completely, unsure at the moment what he planned to do. If he stayed in the regular army, he would eventually be assigned to the Nibelheim mission, and from there he could attempt to destroy Jenova before she had a chance to get her claws into Sephiroth's mind.
On the other hand, there was no guarantee that such a plan would work. Cloud couldn't say for sure when Sephiroth had stepped over the edge of madness, and waiting that long would be a dangerous move. If he left now, deserted the army and returned to Nibelheim first, there was a chance he could get to her before Sephiroth even came near. That was assuming that Sephiroth wouldn’t go mad anyway. And Cloud would have to leave Zack behind, unaware of the danger he was in.
The uncomfortable silence his statement had left was broken when the room was suddenly flooded with light, spilling in from the open door way. Two figures were silhouetted, but Cloud didn't even have to look to recognize that at least one of them was Sephiroth. The Jenova cells in him resonated still. He climbed out of the bed a bit more slowly than the others, who had scrambled madly to attention the second they realized an officer was present.
Cloud tried not to crack a smile at how they tried to look dignified and at attention in their undershirts, faces tight when they realized exactly who had come to call. He turned his own gaze on his long time enemy, and current enigma in his life. It was times like this that he missed First Tsurugi the most.
Sephiroth paced into the room, leaving a rather bewildered looking Zack lurking in the doorway. “The six of you are going to accompany SOLDIER Fair and I to deal with an infestation in the Mythril Mines,” he said shortly, voice precise and to the point. “Be ready and at the airport's lift in twenty minutes.”
“What?” Zack yelped. “But, Sephiroth, you just...shouldn't we at least wait until morning and-”
“Make sure they have all their gear,” Sephiroth said, cutting him off, then swept out as quickly as he'd come. The barrack was frozen, no one willing to even breathe after the whirlwind of chaos that had just swept through. Cloud certainly felt unbalanced. It was beyond disturbing, but he found he was missing Sephiroth's attention, too thrown when the man all but ignored him. Too many years had passed where Cloud was the sole focus of that insane, cat-like green gaze, and now there was nothing. He didn't even think Sephiroth had said a single word to him directly.
The Thirds were the first to move, efficiently collecting their gear and beginning to dress. That sent the troopers to scrambling around as well. When the General gave an order, you don't question it, after all. Cloud felt more out of place than ever, standing there half dressed and alone. He probably should pull on the over-sized uniform he'd tossed in a corner of the bed, but Zack was still standing there in the doorway, gaze fixed on the empty hallway Sephiroth had disappeared down.
He took a hesitant step toward his friend, just in time to hear Zack mutter, “What's up with that guy?" Then Zack snorted, and laughed. “Maybe he's running away?” Cloud wasn't sure how it was supposed to be funny. Running away and Sephiroth didn't mesh in his mind. Maybe it was irony? Cloud's atrophied sense of humor couldn't keep up with Zack's mind.
Cloud hadn't voluntarily talked to someone in quite a while, but he was determined to spend every moment he could talking with his friend, or at least listening. It was too good, too unbelievable still, that he could speak to Zack, that he was alive and well. So instead of turning around and joining the others, most of whom were already nearly ready in their military efficiency, Cloud took another step toward Zack, unsure how to even begin…chatting.
"Er…hi Zack?" He felt his face heat up a bit at the awkwardness, and hoped that the flush wasn't obvious on his face. Forget being inconspicuous; Cloud already knew he'd never be able to blend in with the troopers anymore. He couldn't remember a fraction of military rules and regulations, and didn't think he'd be able to show proper military deference to Zack, let alone other superior ranked officers. He doubted he could even recognize a superior officer. If he hadn't already, Zack was sure to catch on to Cloud's odd behavior. Now all Cloud had to do was decide how to handle that.
Zack turned, crooked grin in place, and raised a hand in a strange, aborted motion toward his hair. Instead he rubbed at the back of his neck. “Hey, Cloud,” he greeted. “You still feeling okay this morning?” Zack leaned in toward him, eyes roaming his face as if to see if he was looking at all ill. Before Cloud could say a word, he breezed on, “Well, no matter. You look alright, I guess. You better get dressed so we can get over to the equipment lockers and get you a uniform that's closer to your size, and find you some gear. If we don't get to the lift right on time, Sephiroth will probably leave us here and hoof it to Midgar on his own.” He clapped Cloud on the shoulder, gave a little wave and quit the room.
Once again Cloud was struck by the disjointed sensation that the entire world had gone insane. Zack had breezed out of the room without so much as a seconds pause, leaving Cloud feeling slightly snubbed again. He mentally kicked himself for the selfish thought. No matter how much he wished it, Zack had other things to worry about than one messed up trooper, and he wasn't acting unkind, just pre-occupied. Cloud had to remember that he was a nobody at this point, just an ordinary, low-class military grunt.
“Can you believe this? A mission. With the General," one of the troopers breathed in an awestruck tone. Cloud absently made a mental note to learn their names at least, since he was stuck with them for the unforeseeable future. He did finally turn around and stride back to his bunk, where he dressed mechanically and listened with one ear to the gossiping troopers. They seemed content to wait for him to finish.
"Fucking hell," one of the Thirds said, running a nervous hand through his hair. "I don't know if we're just lucky, or if we should start writing out our wills now. The General. Fuck."
"Just think of it as a promotion opportunity, Gibbs," the other Third said, grinning as he lounged against the bed post. Cloud thought he recalled the man's name was Edge.
"But then why were we picked?" Cloud's bunkmate asked worriedly. "I mean, we're not even SOLDIERs."
"Don't be stupid, why do you think we were picked?" one of the troopers said scathingly, giving Cloud a pointed look. "I bet the General is just as curious as everyone else about the trooper who had the balls to go sword to sword with him." Cloud raised a non-committal eyebrow, not apologetic in the least for his actions. While they probably would turn into trouble further along the line, Cloud would rather attack a completely innocent-a thought his mind choked on-Sephiroth by mistake then let the insane one have a moment to wreak havoc on the world again.
"That was just the mako," another trooper said. "Cloud's been in my team for a several months, and we'd have noticed something odd before now. Right Cloud?"
"Uh…yeah," he responded, uncomfortably aware that his younger self would have known the other man's name, and that he had no clue how he was supposed to act. Was he friends with the guy? More likely they rarely talked. Cloud didn't remember much of his ShinRa grunt days, but he remembered he'd been focused single-mindedly on getting into SOLDIER, or his failure to. "Shouldn't we get going? Se-the, uh, General gave us twenty minutes?" he said, hoping the distraction would get their attention off of him and any oddities he was exuding.
"Ah shit, yeah. Move it, Jac!" the third trooper said, shoving the nearest man in the shoulder toward the door. "I'm not going to miss out on this opportunity because you wanted to gossip like an old washer woman!"
"So what does that make us?" Edge asked caustically, mako eyes narrowing at the trooper. There seemed to be no menace behind the action, something the trooper also picked up on.
"That makes you head washer woman, sir!" the trooper said, saluting with a cocky grin. The poor joke was met with more laughter than it probably deserved, nerves running tight through everyone and making them giddy and reckless. Cloud fell in silently behind Edge and the trooper Jac, the other three marching out the door behind him.
To everyone’s surprise, judging by the cut off exclamation from Jac, Zack was leaning against the wall right outside the door. Cloud's attention was immediately captured again by his old friend. Zack's expression was serious and thoughtful as if he were deep in thought. The company pulled together in a salute, and Cloud hastily copied the action.
"Sir!" Edge said, standing at attention. "We were just on our way to the rendezvous point."
The serious look that had been on Zack's face moments ago disappeared as he cracked a grin and pushed away from the wall. “At ease, men,” he quipped, in what sounded to Cloud as a poor, joking imitation of Sephiroth's sharper tones. Zack looked them over in a brief inspection, pacing back and forth before them and clearly not too concerned. When he stopped in the middle of the hall he propped his hands on his hips. “Well, everything looks good to me. If you need anything, go get it, if not go rendezvous and you can gossip to your heart's content. For example, I heard that the scientists are arriving already. Apparently the rookies this year made a big first impression.” Then his attention was on Cloud. Cloud felt oddly breathless as he met Zack's eyes, somehow worried it would all fade away. The moment, no longer than a second, was broken as Zack said, “Cloud, you're with me.”
There were a few flushes of embarrassment among the men, even as they saluted and headed off. Zack reached out and grabbed hold of Cloud's upper arm and began to tug him after them, down the short flight of stairs in the multistory building, until they emerged out onto Junon's streets. The other men were already well ahead of them in their rush, a few scattering off in other directions; most likely in search of things they were missing from their gear. Zack was a whirlwind of energy, not giving Cloud time to gather his thoughts as he was swept up in his wake. Zack didn't let him go even as they turned a corner, leaving the other men to proceed to the airport themselves. Not that Cloud wanted to go anywhere else.
“It was a good thing Sephiroth reminded me that you didn't have any equipment, or it might've gotten lost in the shuffle. By the way, I've been wondering....” Zack cut off as an officer rounded the corner, and Cloud could only watch in bemusement as he shifted closer to him until the man was gone. Was there a reason he was mistrustful of ShinRa? Cloud knew there was every reason for that, but what had set Zack off? Cloud had no desire to stand out anyway. At least, once he decided what he was supposed to do with this second chance. 'Stop Sephiroth and don't let Zack and Aerith die' was all well and good, but not much of a plan, he had to admit. “Anyway, I was wondering...where did you learn to use a sword like that? That wasn't regular infantry skills.”
Cloud barely controlled a flinch. (I stole your memories and copied your sword technique.) "I…learned the basics from a friend," he managed to mumble out.
Before he could get too mired in bitter thoughts, Zack drew him out again. “Ah, here we are!” Cloud allowed himself to be manhandled into the supply room where Zack immediately began banging around the lockers and lobbing equipment at him. He frowned, unhappy that he was once again forced to work for ShinRa, even in a minor capacity. He changed quickly, knowing their time here was limited and not wanting to do anything to get Zack in trouble with Sephiroth.
“That work?” Zack asked after a brief moment. Cloud gave a noncommittal grunt of acknowledgment. The clothes did fit, so much as regulation clothes could. Movement made him glance up to see Zack step to the wall that bore a rack of rifles. Once Zack had selected one, he turned and straddled one of the benches set in the middle of the room and began checking it over. Cloud went back to staring distastefully at the helmet in his hands. He very nearly stopped breathing when Zack spoke again, “Hey, Cloud? I know we haven't known each other very long but.... You know if you need help you can talk to me. We're friends, right?” The helmet slipped from Cloud's suddenly numb fingers. The hollow 'thunk' of it hitting the floor rang loudly in the empty room.
We're friends, right?
Of all the things Cloud wished he could both remember and forget, that line cut straight into his heart. Zack, who had sacrificed so much for him, yet still was able to call him 'friend'. Now he was right there, staring with earnest blue eyes at Cloud, as if the statement was a simple fact. Cloud ducked his head, unable to speak past the lump in his throat. He quickly scooped up his fallen helmet, using the motion to compose himself. He had a terrible urge to run away, just take off into the wilderness where he could be alone and not have to worry about disappointing his loved ones. Cloud gave himself a mental shake and slipped the helmet on over his head to hide his expression. If he kept this up nothing would change.
"I like to think so," he said, voice muffled by his scarf. "If it's a bother, I can…stop." He didn't think that was what Zack had meant, but with his non-existent social skills he didn't want to miss a cue that was obvious to everyone else.
Zack looked down at the rifle he held and switched the safety on before standing and holding it out to Cloud. The look Zack was giving him was serious, until he cracked an easy smile. “Good. That means we watch each other's backs, alright? You had mine in Modeoheim with Hollander, and I've got yours now.” Cloud took the rifle absently, more focused on Zack's words and the emotions plainly displayed on his face. There was no doubt that Zack knew something was up. Cloud just had no idea what to say to reassure him, or alternatively if he should just tell Zack everything now and get it over with. Logically, there was no reason not to tell him. Except that he might brand Cloud as clinically insane, that is.
He was relieved that Zack had dismissed Cloud's hesitancy without comment, instead reassuring him that despite it all, Zack was Zack and still considered him a friend. Cloud wasn't exactly sure what Modeoheim had to do with anything, but he did vaguely remember an old town of that name. The holes in his memories were becoming worrisome; he'd always known they were there, but until now hadn't realized just how prolific they were. Zack's words dispelled some of the doubt and worry, and Cloud knew that even if he did screw something up, he would still be there to support him. It was a nice feeling, familiar in that it was what Tifa had been trying to pound through his skull for years.
Cloud started slightly as Zack's hand plunked down on top of his helmeted head, and his friend leaned in closer. “And do me a favor and keep that on unless you're sure of your privacy, and who you're with.” The blatant worry Zack expressed set Cloud’s nerves on end. There was some reason his friend didn't want Cloud's face to be seen, or possibly recognized. Perhaps his inadvertent fight with Sephiroth was already causing shock waves throughout ShinRa. The man had been untouchable before his fall, and Cloud doubted Hojo would take kindly to anyone challenging that pedestal. A chill ran down his back at the thought of being subject to Hojo's curiosity. (Never again.)
Zack stepped back, and clenched one hand into a fist. “Alright, so, you ready to go face Sephiroth? Excited? Nervous?” Zack's laugh was bright and easy. “I don't think you'll have to worry too much so long as you don't attack him again. I was so surprised when I saw that! I mean, Cloud, you were handling yourself really well out there!” Zack's sudden switch from seriousness to humor was jarring, and Cloud welcomed the change of pace. Not so much the subject he chose, though Cloud was willing to tell Zack anything he wanted to know. Even if it got him in trouble later. There was no way he could bring himself to lie to his friend, when he knew Zack could and would sacrifice anything for Cloud.
"Kind of…nervous, I guess," he said hesitantly. "I…didn't realize Se-uh, the General was there to help. Sorry for the trouble…" he trailed off. How to address his sudden ability to take on Sephiroth one on one, though? Maybe if he didn't say anything, Zack would fill in his own explanation. That would have to do for now.
Zack waved a hand absently through the air as he led Cloud out of the room with an amused look. “I wouldn't worry about it too much. You were in the middle of a pretty nasty fight and had just had a close encounter with some mako. That's enough to make anyone lose their head.” Cloud blinked at the reminder. It was odd, but with everything else running through his head clamoring for attention, he had nearly forgotten his recent mako bath. With some luck, that would explain away many of the oddities he'd 'acquired', at least long enough for Cloud to figure out how to fit in better. Trust Zack to come up with a solution to Cloud's problems, even if he wasn't aware he was doing so.
“On the bright side,” Zack carried on blithely, “It got Sephiroth out of the ShinRa building. I haven't seen him since before Modeoheim.... Nearly a year, come to think of it.” That sent a foreboding chill down went Cloud's spine. It was quickly becoming a familiar sensation, and one he didn't like at all. If Sephiroth was already withdrawing into himself, that was dangerous. It had only taken a few days in Nibelheim for Sephiroth to completely lose it. Who knew what he was reading, whether Hojo was planting false or adjusted information, and what sort of conclusions Sephiroth was coming to. Perhaps preventing his collapse into madness was as simple as removing Hojo from the equation. It was a pleasant thought. Cloud vowed to test the validity of that hypothesis.
Zack didn't seem to require any input from Cloud as they strode down the hallways, and sent him a crooked grin, his head tilted in vague self mockery. “Apparently I'm just not good enough company.” The comment did make Cloud give the barest grin; he couldn't see anyone not appreciating Zack's company, when put like that. As Zack fell silent, Cloud didn’t bother trying to start up another conversation. He had no idea where to start, and there wasn't anything to say right now. They were short on time anyway, having already missed the twenty minute deadline, and hurrying through ShinRa-infested halls was hardly the place for any heartfelt talks.
They soon emerged into the bright afternoon sunlight of Junon's airport. Sephiroth was waiting with the other soldiers beside the large lift, a sheathed Masamune held in one hand. Cloud couldn't help a nervous jerk as his hand reached for a sword that wasn't there. Or rather, was strapped to Zack's back at the moment. He tightened his grip on the strap of the gun hanging over his shoulder, wishing that he'd been allowed any sort of blade instead.
Beside him, Zack piped up, “Sorry we're late, Sephiroth, but I did as you told me to and made sure Cloud here was fully outfitted.” He held a hand out as if to present him to Sephiroth, a thought that made Cloud feel faintly ill. “I'm sure you're eager to get at those monsters. Me? I’d rather just get back to Midgar as soon as possible.”
Sephiroth turned away from them, his long silver hair swishing with the motion and strode onto the lift. His voice floated back to them, “Be careful or someone might get the idea that you botched the mission on purpose.” Cloud nearly dropped his rifle entirely, eyes wide behind the concealing visor, when he realized that Sephiroth, the great General and planetary nemesis, was teasing Zack. Cloud knew that Sephiroth couldn't have been a monster from birth, and he didn't go around skewering random people on the Masamune...much. It didn't stop the shock of seeing it in person.
Strangely, Cloud felt ashamed for his thoughts. Despite the psychological and physical torture he'd suffered from the man in the past, Sephiroth had not yet done anything to deserve his ire. Wasn't the whole point of a second chance that everyone could be saved? Was it possible that even the Sephiroth had a future other than madness?
A hand tugged at his sleeve, and he jerked his arm loose before common sense reasserted itself. It was just one of the troopers, the one who had supposedly been on Cloud's team before. He didn't seem offended by Cloud's brush off, just jerking his head for Cloud to fall in with the rest of the troops. Shaken, Cloud did so, sliding into place between Gibbs and another still nameless trooper in line where a gap had been left for him. Cloud nearly crawled right out of his skin when Sephiroth's feral green gaze swept over them.
Sephiroth's words weren't anymore calming than his gaze. “If you're all prepared.” It was obvious that it was not a question so much as a demand, an order, that they had better be prepared, or they'd live to regret it.
“Some little monsters in the mines aren't going to overwhelm us,” Zack said cheerfully. “Let's go get them!”
The nameless trooper beside him muttered, “Speak for yourself, sir.”
Under Zack's hands on the lift controls they were born upward to get a glimpse of the helicopter idling nearby. Afternoon sunlight glittered off its sleek, dark metal curves, and the heavy belly. The side door already stood open showing the interior, though the pilot and co-pilot were already ensconced behind the controls. Cloud suspected that this was where Sephiroth had disappeared to. There was no way they'd have been ready and waiting otherwise.
“I hate flying,” he heard an acidic voice mutter. A glance over showed that one of the Thirds, Edge, was looking a little pale under his helmet. The other Third, Gibbs, clapped him roughly on the shoulder and made for the helicopter, ducking low to pass under the slowly spinning rotors.
A heavy feeling of trepidation settled in Cloud's stomach as he trotted over with the other troopers. He wasn't looking forward to being cramped inside of another helicopter with Sephiroth so close by, and it was cramped. The helicopter might have been one of ShinRa's models made specifically for transporting squadrons, but with the addition of Masamune and Buster Sword it was a near thing. No one complained, though. In fact no one said a word. Even Zack was quiet as they left Junon behind. Cloud wondered if Zack had gotten any sleep last night, though he looked fresh enough. That could just be the mako talking, as Cloud well knew. The other troopers looked like they wanted to nod off, but appeared to be too hyped up and uneasy to fall asleep in Sephiroth's presence.
Cloud kept his gaze on his knees, aware that Sephiroth would probably feel it if he looked directly at him. It was hard to contain his curiosity at the enigma the man presented. There was still Cloud's knee-jerk reaction of reaching for a weapon every time Sephiroth made a more sudden than usual movement. Other than that, it was as if Cloud's presence was of no consequence at all to the man. Sephiroth acted quite normally, as far as Cloud could tell. If he was abrasive when he spoke, it was because he was giving orders to his subordinates. When he spoke to Zack, Cloud could hear something in his voice, not exactly humor, but a vibrancy that Cloud had no memory of. The sheer absurdity of it all made Cloud want to stare.
He had to wonder what Sephiroth was thinking. Now that there were no other distractions, Cloud could feel the hum and buzz of the Jenova cells in him reacting to the presence of the man. Cloud had been designed to serve Sephiroth, and take his place if ever something happened to the original. Hojo called him a failure, but there was still a connection that Cloud loathed every time he came face to face with his nemesis. The connection still hummed under his skin, yet wasn't the overwhelming sensation he was used to. Despite his racing thoughts, the silence and his fatigue slowly lulled Cloud's mind into a blissful state of blankness. The only noise seemed to be the white noise buzz of the Jenova cells in the back of his mind.
By the time he roused himself from his mind-numbed state to try and stretch the kinks out of his stiff arms, a few hours had gone by. A sudden lurch made his stomach flip uncomfortably in what might have been a residual effect of motion sickness that he hadn't really dealt with in years, or could have been a reaction to Sephiroth's sudden movement. Cloud couldn't help but focus on him, and was relieved and baffled when the man yanked the helicopter’s door open even as it bumped down on the ground. A second later, Sephiroth had vanished out the open door in a swirl of silver hair. Zack was out next, followed closely by Edge who shoved his way to the front of the scramble to exit. Cloud followed more slowly, his muscles more stiff and sore than he expected.
The other three troopers had stopped once they were out from under the rotors to stretch tired and cramped muscles. Sephiroth and Zack weren't much farther off. In fact, they were close enough for the wind from the rotor blades to buffet Sephiroth's hair and long coat. Cloud jerked his attention elsewhere as Sephiroth's gaze traveled briefly in his direction. A surreptitious glance back a second later showed that the man had been distracted by something Zack was saying.
Relieved, though he knew it had nothing to do with him, Cloud took in their surroundings. They were situated at a relatively flat expanse of grass near where the rough incline up to the mines began. Not too far off a fairly disused looking dirt road was visible. Behind him, the helicopter's engine whined as it lifted off again to head back to Junon.
“You're looking a little peaky,” a coy voice crooned. Cloud glanced over to see one of the troopers flashing one of the Thirds a toothy grin that was stark and bright against the dark color of his skin.
“I think you've got your helmet on backward, grunt,” Edge growled. “It's not covering that gaping noise maker you call a mouth.”
Before the trooper could respond, Zack's voice cut clearly through the air, “Hey, it could be worse. We could have made you jump out of the chopper.” Edge immediately paled a shade further, one that looked an ashen, sickly hue. Zack thumped his back as he walked past him. “Better get used to it, man, it's one of the things you'll be expected to do as a SOLDIER. Without a parachute.” Cloud didn’t know if that was true or not, though judging by Edge’s expression it probably was. A second later Zack's eyes were on Cloud, and his friend was walking right toward him. Before he knew it, Zack was right in his face again as he attempted to peer through Cloud's visor. “How you holding up, Cloud? You're looking a little shaky.... I should have insisted you stay behind.”
The clear worry made something warm in his chest, though the cold feeling of fear that came with the thought of being left behind quickly snuffed it out. In his mind all he could see was the green tinged memory of Zack walking away and never coming back. “No it's.... I'm fine. I'd rather be here.” He'd have driven himself insane with worry knowing Zack was out here with Sephiroth anyway, though a part of him wondered if it would have been better if he stayed. It was a part of him that was wondering what he should do now, what he should do about being in the past.
“If you're sure,” Zack said after a long pause.
“I...” Was he sure of anything anymore? He had no idea. Zack seemed to be asking all the hard questions today, he noted wryly. Even though he had no idea he was doing so.
“That's just Cloud for you,” a voice piped up from nearby. Cloud shot a glance at the slouched figure of one of the troopers he had no name for yet. “He's always like that about missions. Well, the one's I've been on with him anyway.” Cloud was struck once again by the uneasy feeling of not knowing someone who so obviously knew him.
Zack held his hands up in surrender with a lazy grin. “Alright then, just don't push yourself too hard.” Before he could say more, or Cloud could come up with another fumbled attempt to reassure him, Sephiroth called Zack's name. “Ah, well, it appears duty calls. Just remember, Cloud. Speak up if you're starting to feel tired or something.”
Cloud watched him trot back to Sephiroth's side numbly, wanted nothing more than to hurry after him, or call out for him to stay. The confusing mix of emotions brought up from last night was still choking him. Instead he could only watch as Sephiroth turned on his heel and set off up the path behind him and Zack fell into step with him. Zack turned back around, walking backwards, and motioned for them to follow.
The fingers he hadn't even realized he'd clenched on his rifle were beginning to ache. Cloud was half worried he'd damaged the weapon. He forced himself to relax his grip and check it over. Thankfully, it wasn't damaged. He might not have cared for the weapon, but it was better than having nothing. Cloud's head jerked up as someone called his name, and despite his unease he forced his anxiety stiff legs forward to fall into step beside another of the troopers. It seemed they already had a marching order: a rookie Third at the front of their line and the other taking up the rear, with the four troopers paired in between, and Sephiroth and Zack in the lead.
Cloud looked ahead of him to where Sephiroth had crested a rise, Zack at his side. The sun was descending toward the horizon behind them at just the right angle to glance off the man's silver hair and leave him in a disconcerting halo of light before he moved on. Cloud turned his attention back to where his feet were being placed and tried to keep his worries and fears from overwhelming him.
He soon lost himself in the physical exertion of scrambling up the odd rock falls, and steep slopes. He stopped for a moment to readjust his grip on his rifle, and looked back over his shoulder. The clouds in the distance were edged with yellow-gold sunlight from the slowly setting sun. The Third who had been traveling behind him had stopped as well, and a look forward showed that the other troopers were staggered out along the rocky path. There still wasn't much, if any, chatter going on, the only sound the trooper's harsh breathing as they paced themselves. The SOLDIER 3rds were having less problems, but still looked red-faced. Ahead of them, Zack appeared to be lost in thought again, and Cloud had no idea at all what Sephiroth was thinking.
He hadn't really been paying enough attention to have a clear idea of how long they'd been on the move. It was obvious, though, that the regulars were in need of a break. Cloud gathered himself and said hesitantly, "Uh…sirs? How long are we going to be marching?" He wasn't sure what the military protocol for the situation was, but Zack wouldn't let Sephiroth run the troopers into the ground if there were monsters at the end of the march. At least, he hoped Zack could do something about it. He had said if he was feeling tired.... He couldn't help but feel guiltily like he was using his friend, though he knew that wasn't the case. But like with the orphans, Cloud was surprised to find a certain fondness for the group around him. Maybe it was just because he'd already defended them against monsters, or because they were the people he'd had the most contact with aside from Zack.
"Cloud's right," Gibbs said brusquely, voice rough from the exercise. He turned his head around to give Cloud a brief nod of acknowledgment. "Sorry sirs, but the troopers won't be able to keep this pace up for too much longer."
Zack came to a halt, perched on top of a boulder, and waved his arms briefly to regain his balance before he turned around to look at them. Even from this distance, Cloud could make out the sheepish look on his face as Zack ruffled his hair. “Whoa. Sorry about that guys, I guess we're all a little off today, aren't we?” Zack asked. He swung around to look toward Sephiroth who had stopped a few paces further on. “We should probably stop for awhile, Sephiroth.”
Cloud tensed as Sephiroth turned and swept his gaze over them. The fact that he did not linger on Cloud was both aggravating and a relief. It was more baffling still when Sephiroth merely inclined his head in agreement, then turned and walked further away where he stood, his back to them.
Zack gave a faint snort, drawing Cloud's attention back to him as he hopped down from his perch. “Go ahead sit down, try not to let your legs cramp up, because that really hurts. I hope some of you thought to grab some rations for the rest of us poor souls.”
As the men threw themselves down in the dirt or plopped down on various rocks, Cloud couldn't help but think it startling how quickly his hesitant comment brought about this result. Jac was spread on his back, chest heaving as he gulped in air, his pack discarded carelessly at his side. Even Zack had made himself comfortable on the ground. Cloud felt foolish standing there.
"Take a load off your feet, Cloud," one of the troopers Cloud still didn’t have a name for piped up, gesturing with one hand for Cloud to sit down. "That pack must be killing you." It had been part of the equipment Zack had shoved at him, though it had been such an insignificant weight that Cloud had barely noticed. He hastily swung it off his shoulder and let it hit the dirt with a dusty thud. He wasn't sure of its contents, but neither he nor Zack had added anything to it, so he doubted there was anything edible in the general equipment. "Geeze, take off that helmet, too," the trooper continued with a laugh, knocking his hand against his own helmet at his side. "You're making me hot just watching. You always do tend to wear that thing when you don't have to." He was obviously the one Cloud should know, but the dark hair and tan skin didn't jog anything in his memory no matter how hard he tried.
"I hate these things," the other nameless trooper said disgustedly, kicking his until it rolled into Jac's side. The prone trooper gave a grunt at the contact, but seemed content to leave it where it lay. "They're uncomfortable, hot, itchy, block your vision, and are a nuisance to keep track of. Plus they make you look like a twit."
"They also keep your head in one piece, if a monster decides to chow down on your ass," Edge said, tossing a ration bar across to Zack who caught it with a cheerful word of thanks.
"That only happens if it mistakes your ass for your face, which is possible with you, eh Sparo?" Jac taunted, sitting up and grinning at the disgruntled trooper. Cloud made a mental note of the name, nearly up to date on his current companions.
Zack paused in tearing open his food to remark, "My buddy Kunsel would swear by his helmet. I don't think he's ever taken the thing off."
"At least the SOLDIER helmets look cool," the still nameless trooper said wistfully. "Do they allow you to burn your old uniform when you join?" He passed a canteen to Gibbs with an expectant look.
"Don't get your hopes up, Connally," Gibbs replied, taking a swig from the bottle and passing it to Cloud. He blinked at it, taking a hesitant sip before passing it on to Jac. He didn't feel dehydrated at all, nor even remotely tired, though it was probably best to seem as normal as possible. Even though the grunts had apparently forgotten or were disregarding Sephiroth's presence, Cloud had not been able to relax with the man so near. It was getting frustrating, being so on edge yet being almost completely ignored.
As the company settled in, Cloud listened with mild interest to their interactions. His rag-tag group of friends weren't the most functional of teams, Cloud among the worst of them with Vincent taking the prize, but even the more talkative of them never spent too much time teasing or chatting. Their mission had been too dire, their pasts too dark. The only time it had been really light hearted was when Aerith had been alive. After her death, the spirit of the team had been sucked out.
Shaking his head at the gloomy thoughts, Cloud glanced over at Zack to distract himself just in time to see him crane around to look toward Sephiroth. “Hey, Sephiroth? Are you just going to stand there or what?” When Sephiroth failed to acknowledge him, Zack muttered, “I take that as a yes.” Cloud thought he heard Zack say something about Sephiroth being very good at holding up walls under his breath, and decided his friend's sense of humor was something he'd never quite understand.
It wasn't long after that that the troopers were rested enough to get moving again. Cloud had just finished shouldering his pack when he heard Zack calling Sephiroth's name again. For several seconds it didn't seem as if Sephiroth was going to acknowledge Zack at all, and then he turned and swept his gaze over them again. Cloud tensed, every nerve standing on end while the others seemed torn between jumping to attention and remaining as they were. Then Sephiroth turned that heavy gaze on him. It was piercing, even through Cloud's helmet, which he had failed to remove. It was a symbolic barrier between him and the silver-haired man, one he was loath to give up. Much like his time in Nibelheim, it was easier to hide behind the feature-concealing gear, to watch the world through the tinted shade of the visor.
After several breathless seconds, Zack's voice broke through the rising cacophony of emotion and the pounding of blood in Cloud's ears. “We're ready to go when you are, Sephiroth.” Sephiroth inclined his head slightly, and turned away without further word or acknowledgment. Cloud felt like he'd been struck in the chest by a behemoth, and he tried to hide his unease as they set off.
Part 2
Pairing: Established Zack/Aerith, Eventual Sephiroth/Cloud (Subject to possible additions)
Rating: Teen (Subject to change)
Warnings: Violence, Language, Pretty much what you'd expect from FFVII. (Subject to additions)
Genre: Time Travel, AU, Action/Adventure, Drama, Friendship, Romance.
Words: 17,613
Summary: At first it was about preventing tragedy. For Cloud it soon becomes a fight to protect new bonds, tread untrod paths and find happy endings. Second chances aren't always easy in a time where ghosts live and heroes are human.
Special Thanks To: Our darling, amazing beta/guinea pig reader leasspell_dael for all of your help, nightpounce for helping inspire the summary, and the rest of the peanut gallery.
Chapter 02 - Crisis of Confusion
Masterlist
Chapter 03 - Crisis of Confession
[ μ ] - εуλ 0001 (December 11th)
Junon, Zack thought, was all burnished bronze and golden brown, unlike Midgar. The warm colors of the city could make you forget it was essentially a giant weapon and fortress. ShinRa's Junon Branch office wasn't much different from the main headquarters in Midgar, though. Smaller, of course, much smaller, but not exactly different. There was still a lot of pretension. Zack eyeballed the huge desk at the far end of the room, before letting his attention wander to the large space's sole occupant, the very man he'd come looking for. In a space of warm tones that not even industrial steel could destroy, Sephiroth stood out like a bandersnatch among a group of jumpings. He was leaning against one of the rectangular steel desks, his back to the large screens taking up the left wall. The glow reflected off his hair, dyeing it patchy colors of pink and gold as information flickered across them.
Zack headed toward him, stopping only to grab a chair from another desk and drag it across the floor so he could position it near Sephiroth. He spun it around, then straddled it and crossed his arms over the back. Sephiroth didn't even look up from the sheet of paper his attention was apparently devoted to. Zack wondered if Sephiroth did that to look busy so people would leave him alone. The silence held, accented only by the occasional grinding of a computer, or the hiss of its cooling fans as Zack waited for Sephiroth to acknowledge him. When it became clear he wasn't going to, he locked his boots around the legs of his chair and said, “Soooo....” Sephiroth didn't even glance up. “We haven't spoken in awhile so I thought I'd come and see how you were doing, maybe have a chat....”
Sephiroth looked up at last, and Zack put on a hopeful smile. Maybe his lead in had worked. His smile turned wry when Sephiroth glanced back to the paper, though he did speak. “Don't you have things to do?”
Zack wilted slightly under the faint reprimand and ran his hand over his hair. He paused and brought it back around to look at his bare palm. He hadn't even replaced his gloves yet. “Nah, I already took care of everything that I can.” To demonstrate he held his hand up and began to tick points off on his fingers. “Got the injured men into the hands of the medical staff, made sure everyone else was assigned rooms for the night, called Lazard to give him a preliminary report and was ordered to report to him as soon as I get back to Midgar, tried to get one stubborn idiot to go with the medics and failed spectacularly, gave up, and came to find you.”
Sephiroth was actually watching him over the top of that paper he was holding now. “The one who attacked me?”
Zack did a double take at the question, and dragged his attention away from the rather nice view of the ocean out the massive windows. The sun reflecting off of it was rather dazzling. “Oh, yeah, that's the one. I'm not sure why, but he adamantly refused to get seen. I figure it might be the mako still making him jittery, so I laid off. Hopefully he'll calm down and I can get him to get a check up.” Sephiroth's intense scrutiny was weird, and Zack held his hands up as if to ward off further reprimand. “I made sure the guys who bunked down with him will keep an eye on him. A couple of them are SOLDIERs so they'll know what to watch for.”
Their conversation, if you could call it that, was interrupted by the quiet tap-tap of shoes on the floor. Zack glanced over at the same time Sephiroth did to see Tseng walking toward them. The Turk looked as impassive as ever, his suit not even the least bit rumpled. Zack kind of envied him that for a moment, until his phone beeped. When it was obvious that Tseng was there to talk to Sephiroth, he fished his phone out, one ear tuned in to the conversation beside him. It wasn't eavesdropping if they were talking right in front of him and knew he was there, after all.
“You'll be able to return to Midgar soon.” Tseng's conversational tone made Zack glance up from his phone in curiosity. Sephiroth, it seemed, had gone back to studying that paper in his hands. Zack took a moment to wonder where it had come from, and what it was even about.
“Is that so?” Sephiroth's voice startled Zack out of his contemplations, and he looked back down at his phone. The time caught his attention, and only made him feel more tired. Zack barely contained a groan.
(Only around fifteen hundred hours Midgar Standard and Junon's an hour behind....) To distract himself, he opened his inbox to check out the message he had received. Zack wasn't surprised to find it was from Kunsel.
“Yes, the arrival of the scientists is imminent,” Tseng said. His shoes scuffed ever so slightly against the floor as he turned to go, then he paused. Zack looked up again at the uncharacteristic hesitation. “I hear that this account has caught a great deal of attention.”
“Hmm, I see,” Sephiroth murmured. Zack turned his attention back to him just as Sephiroth turned and set the paper he'd been holding down on the desk. As Sephiroth swept past Tseng, he added, “Inform Director Lazard that I'll take some of the men to deal with the infestation at the Mythril Mines. It will do them good after such a...demoralizing affair. Zack, come with me.” Startled at the order, Zack knocked the chair over in his hurry to follow Sephiroth.
“What? Why?” Zack asked. He hurriedly set the chair back up, scrambled after the man, and left behind a very bemused Tseng. “What's going on, Sephiroth?” Sephiroth didn't respond, merely cut across the room and out the door onto the landing beyond. Zack followed after him, feeling a bit sulky, and turned his attention to the phone still in his hand. Sephiroth would probably tell him in due time. His boots clanged heavily on the metal stairwell as he followed Sephiroth down it, and Zack was mildly envious of the way Sephiroth's steps didn't seem quite as heavy. Then again, Sephiroth wasn't carrying a sword that probably weighed as much, if not more than he did. In fact, he didn't appear to have the Masamune on him at all. Zack finally opened the mail as they hit the landing on the first floor.
A bunch of scientists just left in several helicopters.
I heard that Hojo was among them.
I wonder what's so interesting to get that guy out of his lab?
Zack frowned at the news, then thought back on the conversation he'd just heard. Tseng had mentioned scientists arriving, and then Sephiroth had flown into motion. He paused on the last stair of the second staircase to stick his phone back into his pocket. Sephiroth didn't pause to wait for him as he cut across the room, and past the statue at its center. Zack jogged after him even as he made a mental note to tell Kunsel he needed to get a date. His friend was really too involved in his gossip collecting.
There were people loitering down here, unlike the branch office's second floor, and several of them were stopping to gawk at Sephiroth as he prowled past them in a swirl of silver hair and black leather. Zack dodged them until he fell into step with the man. “Sephiroth? Where are we going?” He wanted to ask if this had anything to do with Hojo. Angeal had said that Sephiroth didn't like the man when Genesis had attacked the ShinRa building earlier in the year. But wasn't this a bit much?
“To collect our team,” Sephiroth replied. Zack just felt more bewildered, but decided to follow along regardless. Obviously the man was up to something, even if Zack couldn't tell what.
-
Lying on the stiff, military issue bunk in the dark, Cloud listened to the rustle of cloth as someone rolled over on their own bed. The soldiers from the aborted mission had all been instructed to retire and recover, despite the relatively early hour. Not that Cloud was sleeping. He stared sightlessly at the ceiling as he let his mind wander and his body recover. It was odd; despite being dumped summarily into the past, Cloud didn't feel much different. He'd seen his face in a passing mirror; younger, his hair a wild frizz on his head from the grime and slime it had been subjected to, but still with the familiar mako glow to his eyes. Surreptitious observation led him to believe that he was depressingly even shorter now than he'd been in the future, though only by an inch or two. Other than that, he felt perfectly normal.
Even his strength was the same as before, and he knew that, logically, that shouldn't be so. Either he should have looked older, which would have brought a wealth of questions Cloud did not want to answer, or he should have been as he was years ago, a normal trooper. His body still twinged occasionally, leading him to believe the aching and muscle pains he'd experienced were connected to the amalgam of his younger and older self.
Cloud pulled his mind away from those disorientating thoughts and considered what had happened after he'd realized that Zack was real and not some sort of mako-dream. While he hadn't quite blacked out on the battlefield, he had been pretty much useless after he'd managed to stop his hysterical laughter. The adrenaline that had kept him upright up until then had run out, and his body had paid the toll. He'd been a shaky mess, unable to even walk on his own, but at least his head had finally cleared from the confusion it had suffered from his impromptu mako bath.
The helicopter ride back to Junon had been torture, however. Zack had insisted he ride with him in the smaller chopper, while the rest of the surviving troops had bundled into the larger vehicles designed to transport them and their equipment. The worst part was that Cloud was stuck in close confinement with not only a hyperactively worried Zack, but also Sephiroth, Tseng, and a much younger Reno as pilot. Cloud wondered if his ghosts had to haunt him, if they couldn't find better company next time.
As they left the area, they had passed an incoming helicopter, which Tseng had informed them-or Zack and Sephiroth, presumably, and him just by circumstance-that it was full of SOLDIER 2nds, who would take care of the cleanup of the battlefield. Cloud spent the next few hours bemusedly responding to Zack's queries about his health, mostly with a monosyllabic 'Fine'. It was slightly amusing how many times Zack had asked him if he was feeling airsick, though. The badgering had stopped when Reno lost his temper and threatened to crash the helicopter if Zack didn't shut up for five minutes. Tseng hadn't reprimanded the outburst, leading Cloud to believe that he was also tired of Zack's unending energy. It was surreal for Cloud to observe the patience Sephiroth had, and he'd been sure he saw just the hint of an amused smile at one point.
The nerve-wracking flight had finally ended when they'd landed in Junon, and Sephiroth and Tseng had taken off almost immediately. Zack stuck with Cloud, seeming to be intent on dragging him to the nearest medical facility. Cloud had resisted, not wanting to have anything to do with doctors ever again. He'd won the argument, mostly because he did seem to be fine on his feet now, having had time to recover on the trip over. Zack had trailed after him when he rejoined the troops, swiftly taking command and ordering the lot of them into the local barracks to rest and recover.
Cloud had been bunked with five others, three regular troopers and two of the SOLDIERs, who he learned were rookie Thirds. In all the confusion no one was worried about rank or division, just at finding a place to crash for a few hours as the higher-ups regrouped. It had been a surprise when the five had immediately volunteered to watch over him in response to Zack's query. He recognized a couple of the faces from the last fight among the monsters, so it was odd that they were so eager to be in his presence still. Cloud would have thought they'd have been scared off.
"Uh…. Hey Cloud, you awake?" a quiet voice drifted through the dim room from the bunk above him, and interrupted his musings abruptly. Cloud raised an eyebrow in the darkness as, around him, a sudden concentration of attention focused in his direction. Obviously his bunk mate wasn't the only one still awake.
"…Yeah," he finally answered, equally quiet. It had been a long time since strangers had attempted to talk to him. The only human contact he really had was his friends, and sometimes the orphans. Other people were just incidentals who were forgotten the moment they were out of sight.
"You, uh, doing okay?" his bunkmate asked tremulously. He sounded unsure of what to say, and Cloud didn’t blame him. To their view, Cloud must have seemed to have gone completely insane; not an uncommon occurrence due to mako poisoning. Cloud pondered for a moment if he should even bother answering the question. The opportunity was lost when another voice piped up from across the room.
"You must have been insane!" came a low, excited voice. "You went toe to toe with the General! I mean, has anyone ever seen him up close like that before?"
"I have," came a third voice. "He was there during our advancement. Damned impressive to look at, but hell if anyone can tell what he's thinking."
"I think he looked bored," came yet another voice. Cloud absently ticked off numbers in his head, trying to match the voices to the half-remembered faces of his companions. "All he had to do was stand around looking official. It was Director Lazard that did all the talking. The guy could inspire rocks to get up and march, I swear."
"Is SOLDIER all that different?" the second voice asked, eagerness lacing his tone. "It's hard enough to get into, but...um, is it worth all the hype it gets?"
"If you survive the mako, you mean?" the first SOLDIER asked, bitingly. Cloud noted the hostility there, wondering if maybe the man had had to deal with Hojo up close and personal. He wouldn't blame anyone for hating that poor excuse of a human being.
"Stop scaring the grunts, Edge," the other SOLDIER reprimanded. "SOLDIER isn't too much different. You get sent out on the harder assignments, have more responsibility, and are expected to bring back perfect results. The rumor is that if you don't fulfill your missions to the exact order, you get sent to the General to explain exactly what went wrong."
"Now who's scaring the grunts?" the first SOLDIER muttered.
"I think I'd rather stick with the regular army," Cloud's bunkmate said wistfully. "I mean, you have everything you need, and if things go wrong, it's the officer's problem to take care of it. Well, except when things like today happen, I guess."
"Do you think you're going to come back to our squad, Cloud? Or do you think the scientists are going to want to check you out, make sure the mako didn't do any damage?" Cloud started when he realized the comment was directed at him. He frowned in the dark.
"I won't go to the scientists," he said, voice quiet and firm. That, at least, he was sure of. He didn't answer the question completely, unsure at the moment what he planned to do. If he stayed in the regular army, he would eventually be assigned to the Nibelheim mission, and from there he could attempt to destroy Jenova before she had a chance to get her claws into Sephiroth's mind.
On the other hand, there was no guarantee that such a plan would work. Cloud couldn't say for sure when Sephiroth had stepped over the edge of madness, and waiting that long would be a dangerous move. If he left now, deserted the army and returned to Nibelheim first, there was a chance he could get to her before Sephiroth even came near. That was assuming that Sephiroth wouldn’t go mad anyway. And Cloud would have to leave Zack behind, unaware of the danger he was in.
The uncomfortable silence his statement had left was broken when the room was suddenly flooded with light, spilling in from the open door way. Two figures were silhouetted, but Cloud didn't even have to look to recognize that at least one of them was Sephiroth. The Jenova cells in him resonated still. He climbed out of the bed a bit more slowly than the others, who had scrambled madly to attention the second they realized an officer was present.
Cloud tried not to crack a smile at how they tried to look dignified and at attention in their undershirts, faces tight when they realized exactly who had come to call. He turned his own gaze on his long time enemy, and current enigma in his life. It was times like this that he missed First Tsurugi the most.
Sephiroth paced into the room, leaving a rather bewildered looking Zack lurking in the doorway. “The six of you are going to accompany SOLDIER Fair and I to deal with an infestation in the Mythril Mines,” he said shortly, voice precise and to the point. “Be ready and at the airport's lift in twenty minutes.”
“What?” Zack yelped. “But, Sephiroth, you just...shouldn't we at least wait until morning and-”
“Make sure they have all their gear,” Sephiroth said, cutting him off, then swept out as quickly as he'd come. The barrack was frozen, no one willing to even breathe after the whirlwind of chaos that had just swept through. Cloud certainly felt unbalanced. It was beyond disturbing, but he found he was missing Sephiroth's attention, too thrown when the man all but ignored him. Too many years had passed where Cloud was the sole focus of that insane, cat-like green gaze, and now there was nothing. He didn't even think Sephiroth had said a single word to him directly.
The Thirds were the first to move, efficiently collecting their gear and beginning to dress. That sent the troopers to scrambling around as well. When the General gave an order, you don't question it, after all. Cloud felt more out of place than ever, standing there half dressed and alone. He probably should pull on the over-sized uniform he'd tossed in a corner of the bed, but Zack was still standing there in the doorway, gaze fixed on the empty hallway Sephiroth had disappeared down.
He took a hesitant step toward his friend, just in time to hear Zack mutter, “What's up with that guy?" Then Zack snorted, and laughed. “Maybe he's running away?” Cloud wasn't sure how it was supposed to be funny. Running away and Sephiroth didn't mesh in his mind. Maybe it was irony? Cloud's atrophied sense of humor couldn't keep up with Zack's mind.
Cloud hadn't voluntarily talked to someone in quite a while, but he was determined to spend every moment he could talking with his friend, or at least listening. It was too good, too unbelievable still, that he could speak to Zack, that he was alive and well. So instead of turning around and joining the others, most of whom were already nearly ready in their military efficiency, Cloud took another step toward Zack, unsure how to even begin…chatting.
"Er…hi Zack?" He felt his face heat up a bit at the awkwardness, and hoped that the flush wasn't obvious on his face. Forget being inconspicuous; Cloud already knew he'd never be able to blend in with the troopers anymore. He couldn't remember a fraction of military rules and regulations, and didn't think he'd be able to show proper military deference to Zack, let alone other superior ranked officers. He doubted he could even recognize a superior officer. If he hadn't already, Zack was sure to catch on to Cloud's odd behavior. Now all Cloud had to do was decide how to handle that.
Zack turned, crooked grin in place, and raised a hand in a strange, aborted motion toward his hair. Instead he rubbed at the back of his neck. “Hey, Cloud,” he greeted. “You still feeling okay this morning?” Zack leaned in toward him, eyes roaming his face as if to see if he was looking at all ill. Before Cloud could say a word, he breezed on, “Well, no matter. You look alright, I guess. You better get dressed so we can get over to the equipment lockers and get you a uniform that's closer to your size, and find you some gear. If we don't get to the lift right on time, Sephiroth will probably leave us here and hoof it to Midgar on his own.” He clapped Cloud on the shoulder, gave a little wave and quit the room.
Once again Cloud was struck by the disjointed sensation that the entire world had gone insane. Zack had breezed out of the room without so much as a seconds pause, leaving Cloud feeling slightly snubbed again. He mentally kicked himself for the selfish thought. No matter how much he wished it, Zack had other things to worry about than one messed up trooper, and he wasn't acting unkind, just pre-occupied. Cloud had to remember that he was a nobody at this point, just an ordinary, low-class military grunt.
“Can you believe this? A mission. With the General," one of the troopers breathed in an awestruck tone. Cloud absently made a mental note to learn their names at least, since he was stuck with them for the unforeseeable future. He did finally turn around and stride back to his bunk, where he dressed mechanically and listened with one ear to the gossiping troopers. They seemed content to wait for him to finish.
"Fucking hell," one of the Thirds said, running a nervous hand through his hair. "I don't know if we're just lucky, or if we should start writing out our wills now. The General. Fuck."
"Just think of it as a promotion opportunity, Gibbs," the other Third said, grinning as he lounged against the bed post. Cloud thought he recalled the man's name was Edge.
"But then why were we picked?" Cloud's bunkmate asked worriedly. "I mean, we're not even SOLDIERs."
"Don't be stupid, why do you think we were picked?" one of the troopers said scathingly, giving Cloud a pointed look. "I bet the General is just as curious as everyone else about the trooper who had the balls to go sword to sword with him." Cloud raised a non-committal eyebrow, not apologetic in the least for his actions. While they probably would turn into trouble further along the line, Cloud would rather attack a completely innocent-a thought his mind choked on-Sephiroth by mistake then let the insane one have a moment to wreak havoc on the world again.
"That was just the mako," another trooper said. "Cloud's been in my team for a several months, and we'd have noticed something odd before now. Right Cloud?"
"Uh…yeah," he responded, uncomfortably aware that his younger self would have known the other man's name, and that he had no clue how he was supposed to act. Was he friends with the guy? More likely they rarely talked. Cloud didn't remember much of his ShinRa grunt days, but he remembered he'd been focused single-mindedly on getting into SOLDIER, or his failure to. "Shouldn't we get going? Se-the, uh, General gave us twenty minutes?" he said, hoping the distraction would get their attention off of him and any oddities he was exuding.
"Ah shit, yeah. Move it, Jac!" the third trooper said, shoving the nearest man in the shoulder toward the door. "I'm not going to miss out on this opportunity because you wanted to gossip like an old washer woman!"
"So what does that make us?" Edge asked caustically, mako eyes narrowing at the trooper. There seemed to be no menace behind the action, something the trooper also picked up on.
"That makes you head washer woman, sir!" the trooper said, saluting with a cocky grin. The poor joke was met with more laughter than it probably deserved, nerves running tight through everyone and making them giddy and reckless. Cloud fell in silently behind Edge and the trooper Jac, the other three marching out the door behind him.
To everyone’s surprise, judging by the cut off exclamation from Jac, Zack was leaning against the wall right outside the door. Cloud's attention was immediately captured again by his old friend. Zack's expression was serious and thoughtful as if he were deep in thought. The company pulled together in a salute, and Cloud hastily copied the action.
"Sir!" Edge said, standing at attention. "We were just on our way to the rendezvous point."
The serious look that had been on Zack's face moments ago disappeared as he cracked a grin and pushed away from the wall. “At ease, men,” he quipped, in what sounded to Cloud as a poor, joking imitation of Sephiroth's sharper tones. Zack looked them over in a brief inspection, pacing back and forth before them and clearly not too concerned. When he stopped in the middle of the hall he propped his hands on his hips. “Well, everything looks good to me. If you need anything, go get it, if not go rendezvous and you can gossip to your heart's content. For example, I heard that the scientists are arriving already. Apparently the rookies this year made a big first impression.” Then his attention was on Cloud. Cloud felt oddly breathless as he met Zack's eyes, somehow worried it would all fade away. The moment, no longer than a second, was broken as Zack said, “Cloud, you're with me.”
There were a few flushes of embarrassment among the men, even as they saluted and headed off. Zack reached out and grabbed hold of Cloud's upper arm and began to tug him after them, down the short flight of stairs in the multistory building, until they emerged out onto Junon's streets. The other men were already well ahead of them in their rush, a few scattering off in other directions; most likely in search of things they were missing from their gear. Zack was a whirlwind of energy, not giving Cloud time to gather his thoughts as he was swept up in his wake. Zack didn't let him go even as they turned a corner, leaving the other men to proceed to the airport themselves. Not that Cloud wanted to go anywhere else.
“It was a good thing Sephiroth reminded me that you didn't have any equipment, or it might've gotten lost in the shuffle. By the way, I've been wondering....” Zack cut off as an officer rounded the corner, and Cloud could only watch in bemusement as he shifted closer to him until the man was gone. Was there a reason he was mistrustful of ShinRa? Cloud knew there was every reason for that, but what had set Zack off? Cloud had no desire to stand out anyway. At least, once he decided what he was supposed to do with this second chance. 'Stop Sephiroth and don't let Zack and Aerith die' was all well and good, but not much of a plan, he had to admit. “Anyway, I was wondering...where did you learn to use a sword like that? That wasn't regular infantry skills.”
Cloud barely controlled a flinch. (I stole your memories and copied your sword technique.) "I…learned the basics from a friend," he managed to mumble out.
Before he could get too mired in bitter thoughts, Zack drew him out again. “Ah, here we are!” Cloud allowed himself to be manhandled into the supply room where Zack immediately began banging around the lockers and lobbing equipment at him. He frowned, unhappy that he was once again forced to work for ShinRa, even in a minor capacity. He changed quickly, knowing their time here was limited and not wanting to do anything to get Zack in trouble with Sephiroth.
“That work?” Zack asked after a brief moment. Cloud gave a noncommittal grunt of acknowledgment. The clothes did fit, so much as regulation clothes could. Movement made him glance up to see Zack step to the wall that bore a rack of rifles. Once Zack had selected one, he turned and straddled one of the benches set in the middle of the room and began checking it over. Cloud went back to staring distastefully at the helmet in his hands. He very nearly stopped breathing when Zack spoke again, “Hey, Cloud? I know we haven't known each other very long but.... You know if you need help you can talk to me. We're friends, right?” The helmet slipped from Cloud's suddenly numb fingers. The hollow 'thunk' of it hitting the floor rang loudly in the empty room.
We're friends, right?
Of all the things Cloud wished he could both remember and forget, that line cut straight into his heart. Zack, who had sacrificed so much for him, yet still was able to call him 'friend'. Now he was right there, staring with earnest blue eyes at Cloud, as if the statement was a simple fact. Cloud ducked his head, unable to speak past the lump in his throat. He quickly scooped up his fallen helmet, using the motion to compose himself. He had a terrible urge to run away, just take off into the wilderness where he could be alone and not have to worry about disappointing his loved ones. Cloud gave himself a mental shake and slipped the helmet on over his head to hide his expression. If he kept this up nothing would change.
"I like to think so," he said, voice muffled by his scarf. "If it's a bother, I can…stop." He didn't think that was what Zack had meant, but with his non-existent social skills he didn't want to miss a cue that was obvious to everyone else.
Zack looked down at the rifle he held and switched the safety on before standing and holding it out to Cloud. The look Zack was giving him was serious, until he cracked an easy smile. “Good. That means we watch each other's backs, alright? You had mine in Modeoheim with Hollander, and I've got yours now.” Cloud took the rifle absently, more focused on Zack's words and the emotions plainly displayed on his face. There was no doubt that Zack knew something was up. Cloud just had no idea what to say to reassure him, or alternatively if he should just tell Zack everything now and get it over with. Logically, there was no reason not to tell him. Except that he might brand Cloud as clinically insane, that is.
He was relieved that Zack had dismissed Cloud's hesitancy without comment, instead reassuring him that despite it all, Zack was Zack and still considered him a friend. Cloud wasn't exactly sure what Modeoheim had to do with anything, but he did vaguely remember an old town of that name. The holes in his memories were becoming worrisome; he'd always known they were there, but until now hadn't realized just how prolific they were. Zack's words dispelled some of the doubt and worry, and Cloud knew that even if he did screw something up, he would still be there to support him. It was a nice feeling, familiar in that it was what Tifa had been trying to pound through his skull for years.
Cloud started slightly as Zack's hand plunked down on top of his helmeted head, and his friend leaned in closer. “And do me a favor and keep that on unless you're sure of your privacy, and who you're with.” The blatant worry Zack expressed set Cloud’s nerves on end. There was some reason his friend didn't want Cloud's face to be seen, or possibly recognized. Perhaps his inadvertent fight with Sephiroth was already causing shock waves throughout ShinRa. The man had been untouchable before his fall, and Cloud doubted Hojo would take kindly to anyone challenging that pedestal. A chill ran down his back at the thought of being subject to Hojo's curiosity. (Never again.)
Zack stepped back, and clenched one hand into a fist. “Alright, so, you ready to go face Sephiroth? Excited? Nervous?” Zack's laugh was bright and easy. “I don't think you'll have to worry too much so long as you don't attack him again. I was so surprised when I saw that! I mean, Cloud, you were handling yourself really well out there!” Zack's sudden switch from seriousness to humor was jarring, and Cloud welcomed the change of pace. Not so much the subject he chose, though Cloud was willing to tell Zack anything he wanted to know. Even if it got him in trouble later. There was no way he could bring himself to lie to his friend, when he knew Zack could and would sacrifice anything for Cloud.
"Kind of…nervous, I guess," he said hesitantly. "I…didn't realize Se-uh, the General was there to help. Sorry for the trouble…" he trailed off. How to address his sudden ability to take on Sephiroth one on one, though? Maybe if he didn't say anything, Zack would fill in his own explanation. That would have to do for now.
Zack waved a hand absently through the air as he led Cloud out of the room with an amused look. “I wouldn't worry about it too much. You were in the middle of a pretty nasty fight and had just had a close encounter with some mako. That's enough to make anyone lose their head.” Cloud blinked at the reminder. It was odd, but with everything else running through his head clamoring for attention, he had nearly forgotten his recent mako bath. With some luck, that would explain away many of the oddities he'd 'acquired', at least long enough for Cloud to figure out how to fit in better. Trust Zack to come up with a solution to Cloud's problems, even if he wasn't aware he was doing so.
“On the bright side,” Zack carried on blithely, “It got Sephiroth out of the ShinRa building. I haven't seen him since before Modeoheim.... Nearly a year, come to think of it.” That sent a foreboding chill down went Cloud's spine. It was quickly becoming a familiar sensation, and one he didn't like at all. If Sephiroth was already withdrawing into himself, that was dangerous. It had only taken a few days in Nibelheim for Sephiroth to completely lose it. Who knew what he was reading, whether Hojo was planting false or adjusted information, and what sort of conclusions Sephiroth was coming to. Perhaps preventing his collapse into madness was as simple as removing Hojo from the equation. It was a pleasant thought. Cloud vowed to test the validity of that hypothesis.
Zack didn't seem to require any input from Cloud as they strode down the hallways, and sent him a crooked grin, his head tilted in vague self mockery. “Apparently I'm just not good enough company.” The comment did make Cloud give the barest grin; he couldn't see anyone not appreciating Zack's company, when put like that. As Zack fell silent, Cloud didn’t bother trying to start up another conversation. He had no idea where to start, and there wasn't anything to say right now. They were short on time anyway, having already missed the twenty minute deadline, and hurrying through ShinRa-infested halls was hardly the place for any heartfelt talks.
They soon emerged into the bright afternoon sunlight of Junon's airport. Sephiroth was waiting with the other soldiers beside the large lift, a sheathed Masamune held in one hand. Cloud couldn't help a nervous jerk as his hand reached for a sword that wasn't there. Or rather, was strapped to Zack's back at the moment. He tightened his grip on the strap of the gun hanging over his shoulder, wishing that he'd been allowed any sort of blade instead.
Beside him, Zack piped up, “Sorry we're late, Sephiroth, but I did as you told me to and made sure Cloud here was fully outfitted.” He held a hand out as if to present him to Sephiroth, a thought that made Cloud feel faintly ill. “I'm sure you're eager to get at those monsters. Me? I’d rather just get back to Midgar as soon as possible.”
Sephiroth turned away from them, his long silver hair swishing with the motion and strode onto the lift. His voice floated back to them, “Be careful or someone might get the idea that you botched the mission on purpose.” Cloud nearly dropped his rifle entirely, eyes wide behind the concealing visor, when he realized that Sephiroth, the great General and planetary nemesis, was teasing Zack. Cloud knew that Sephiroth couldn't have been a monster from birth, and he didn't go around skewering random people on the Masamune...much. It didn't stop the shock of seeing it in person.
Strangely, Cloud felt ashamed for his thoughts. Despite the psychological and physical torture he'd suffered from the man in the past, Sephiroth had not yet done anything to deserve his ire. Wasn't the whole point of a second chance that everyone could be saved? Was it possible that even the Sephiroth had a future other than madness?
A hand tugged at his sleeve, and he jerked his arm loose before common sense reasserted itself. It was just one of the troopers, the one who had supposedly been on Cloud's team before. He didn't seem offended by Cloud's brush off, just jerking his head for Cloud to fall in with the rest of the troops. Shaken, Cloud did so, sliding into place between Gibbs and another still nameless trooper in line where a gap had been left for him. Cloud nearly crawled right out of his skin when Sephiroth's feral green gaze swept over them.
Sephiroth's words weren't anymore calming than his gaze. “If you're all prepared.” It was obvious that it was not a question so much as a demand, an order, that they had better be prepared, or they'd live to regret it.
“Some little monsters in the mines aren't going to overwhelm us,” Zack said cheerfully. “Let's go get them!”
The nameless trooper beside him muttered, “Speak for yourself, sir.”
Under Zack's hands on the lift controls they were born upward to get a glimpse of the helicopter idling nearby. Afternoon sunlight glittered off its sleek, dark metal curves, and the heavy belly. The side door already stood open showing the interior, though the pilot and co-pilot were already ensconced behind the controls. Cloud suspected that this was where Sephiroth had disappeared to. There was no way they'd have been ready and waiting otherwise.
“I hate flying,” he heard an acidic voice mutter. A glance over showed that one of the Thirds, Edge, was looking a little pale under his helmet. The other Third, Gibbs, clapped him roughly on the shoulder and made for the helicopter, ducking low to pass under the slowly spinning rotors.
A heavy feeling of trepidation settled in Cloud's stomach as he trotted over with the other troopers. He wasn't looking forward to being cramped inside of another helicopter with Sephiroth so close by, and it was cramped. The helicopter might have been one of ShinRa's models made specifically for transporting squadrons, but with the addition of Masamune and Buster Sword it was a near thing. No one complained, though. In fact no one said a word. Even Zack was quiet as they left Junon behind. Cloud wondered if Zack had gotten any sleep last night, though he looked fresh enough. That could just be the mako talking, as Cloud well knew. The other troopers looked like they wanted to nod off, but appeared to be too hyped up and uneasy to fall asleep in Sephiroth's presence.
Cloud kept his gaze on his knees, aware that Sephiroth would probably feel it if he looked directly at him. It was hard to contain his curiosity at the enigma the man presented. There was still Cloud's knee-jerk reaction of reaching for a weapon every time Sephiroth made a more sudden than usual movement. Other than that, it was as if Cloud's presence was of no consequence at all to the man. Sephiroth acted quite normally, as far as Cloud could tell. If he was abrasive when he spoke, it was because he was giving orders to his subordinates. When he spoke to Zack, Cloud could hear something in his voice, not exactly humor, but a vibrancy that Cloud had no memory of. The sheer absurdity of it all made Cloud want to stare.
He had to wonder what Sephiroth was thinking. Now that there were no other distractions, Cloud could feel the hum and buzz of the Jenova cells in him reacting to the presence of the man. Cloud had been designed to serve Sephiroth, and take his place if ever something happened to the original. Hojo called him a failure, but there was still a connection that Cloud loathed every time he came face to face with his nemesis. The connection still hummed under his skin, yet wasn't the overwhelming sensation he was used to. Despite his racing thoughts, the silence and his fatigue slowly lulled Cloud's mind into a blissful state of blankness. The only noise seemed to be the white noise buzz of the Jenova cells in the back of his mind.
By the time he roused himself from his mind-numbed state to try and stretch the kinks out of his stiff arms, a few hours had gone by. A sudden lurch made his stomach flip uncomfortably in what might have been a residual effect of motion sickness that he hadn't really dealt with in years, or could have been a reaction to Sephiroth's sudden movement. Cloud couldn't help but focus on him, and was relieved and baffled when the man yanked the helicopter’s door open even as it bumped down on the ground. A second later, Sephiroth had vanished out the open door in a swirl of silver hair. Zack was out next, followed closely by Edge who shoved his way to the front of the scramble to exit. Cloud followed more slowly, his muscles more stiff and sore than he expected.
The other three troopers had stopped once they were out from under the rotors to stretch tired and cramped muscles. Sephiroth and Zack weren't much farther off. In fact, they were close enough for the wind from the rotor blades to buffet Sephiroth's hair and long coat. Cloud jerked his attention elsewhere as Sephiroth's gaze traveled briefly in his direction. A surreptitious glance back a second later showed that the man had been distracted by something Zack was saying.
Relieved, though he knew it had nothing to do with him, Cloud took in their surroundings. They were situated at a relatively flat expanse of grass near where the rough incline up to the mines began. Not too far off a fairly disused looking dirt road was visible. Behind him, the helicopter's engine whined as it lifted off again to head back to Junon.
“You're looking a little peaky,” a coy voice crooned. Cloud glanced over to see one of the troopers flashing one of the Thirds a toothy grin that was stark and bright against the dark color of his skin.
“I think you've got your helmet on backward, grunt,” Edge growled. “It's not covering that gaping noise maker you call a mouth.”
Before the trooper could respond, Zack's voice cut clearly through the air, “Hey, it could be worse. We could have made you jump out of the chopper.” Edge immediately paled a shade further, one that looked an ashen, sickly hue. Zack thumped his back as he walked past him. “Better get used to it, man, it's one of the things you'll be expected to do as a SOLDIER. Without a parachute.” Cloud didn’t know if that was true or not, though judging by Edge’s expression it probably was. A second later Zack's eyes were on Cloud, and his friend was walking right toward him. Before he knew it, Zack was right in his face again as he attempted to peer through Cloud's visor. “How you holding up, Cloud? You're looking a little shaky.... I should have insisted you stay behind.”
The clear worry made something warm in his chest, though the cold feeling of fear that came with the thought of being left behind quickly snuffed it out. In his mind all he could see was the green tinged memory of Zack walking away and never coming back. “No it's.... I'm fine. I'd rather be here.” He'd have driven himself insane with worry knowing Zack was out here with Sephiroth anyway, though a part of him wondered if it would have been better if he stayed. It was a part of him that was wondering what he should do now, what he should do about being in the past.
“If you're sure,” Zack said after a long pause.
“I...” Was he sure of anything anymore? He had no idea. Zack seemed to be asking all the hard questions today, he noted wryly. Even though he had no idea he was doing so.
“That's just Cloud for you,” a voice piped up from nearby. Cloud shot a glance at the slouched figure of one of the troopers he had no name for yet. “He's always like that about missions. Well, the one's I've been on with him anyway.” Cloud was struck once again by the uneasy feeling of not knowing someone who so obviously knew him.
Zack held his hands up in surrender with a lazy grin. “Alright then, just don't push yourself too hard.” Before he could say more, or Cloud could come up with another fumbled attempt to reassure him, Sephiroth called Zack's name. “Ah, well, it appears duty calls. Just remember, Cloud. Speak up if you're starting to feel tired or something.”
Cloud watched him trot back to Sephiroth's side numbly, wanted nothing more than to hurry after him, or call out for him to stay. The confusing mix of emotions brought up from last night was still choking him. Instead he could only watch as Sephiroth turned on his heel and set off up the path behind him and Zack fell into step with him. Zack turned back around, walking backwards, and motioned for them to follow.
The fingers he hadn't even realized he'd clenched on his rifle were beginning to ache. Cloud was half worried he'd damaged the weapon. He forced himself to relax his grip and check it over. Thankfully, it wasn't damaged. He might not have cared for the weapon, but it was better than having nothing. Cloud's head jerked up as someone called his name, and despite his unease he forced his anxiety stiff legs forward to fall into step beside another of the troopers. It seemed they already had a marching order: a rookie Third at the front of their line and the other taking up the rear, with the four troopers paired in between, and Sephiroth and Zack in the lead.
Cloud looked ahead of him to where Sephiroth had crested a rise, Zack at his side. The sun was descending toward the horizon behind them at just the right angle to glance off the man's silver hair and leave him in a disconcerting halo of light before he moved on. Cloud turned his attention back to where his feet were being placed and tried to keep his worries and fears from overwhelming him.
He soon lost himself in the physical exertion of scrambling up the odd rock falls, and steep slopes. He stopped for a moment to readjust his grip on his rifle, and looked back over his shoulder. The clouds in the distance were edged with yellow-gold sunlight from the slowly setting sun. The Third who had been traveling behind him had stopped as well, and a look forward showed that the other troopers were staggered out along the rocky path. There still wasn't much, if any, chatter going on, the only sound the trooper's harsh breathing as they paced themselves. The SOLDIER 3rds were having less problems, but still looked red-faced. Ahead of them, Zack appeared to be lost in thought again, and Cloud had no idea at all what Sephiroth was thinking.
He hadn't really been paying enough attention to have a clear idea of how long they'd been on the move. It was obvious, though, that the regulars were in need of a break. Cloud gathered himself and said hesitantly, "Uh…sirs? How long are we going to be marching?" He wasn't sure what the military protocol for the situation was, but Zack wouldn't let Sephiroth run the troopers into the ground if there were monsters at the end of the march. At least, he hoped Zack could do something about it. He had said if he was feeling tired.... He couldn't help but feel guiltily like he was using his friend, though he knew that wasn't the case. But like with the orphans, Cloud was surprised to find a certain fondness for the group around him. Maybe it was just because he'd already defended them against monsters, or because they were the people he'd had the most contact with aside from Zack.
"Cloud's right," Gibbs said brusquely, voice rough from the exercise. He turned his head around to give Cloud a brief nod of acknowledgment. "Sorry sirs, but the troopers won't be able to keep this pace up for too much longer."
Zack came to a halt, perched on top of a boulder, and waved his arms briefly to regain his balance before he turned around to look at them. Even from this distance, Cloud could make out the sheepish look on his face as Zack ruffled his hair. “Whoa. Sorry about that guys, I guess we're all a little off today, aren't we?” Zack asked. He swung around to look toward Sephiroth who had stopped a few paces further on. “We should probably stop for awhile, Sephiroth.”
Cloud tensed as Sephiroth turned and swept his gaze over them. The fact that he did not linger on Cloud was both aggravating and a relief. It was more baffling still when Sephiroth merely inclined his head in agreement, then turned and walked further away where he stood, his back to them.
Zack gave a faint snort, drawing Cloud's attention back to him as he hopped down from his perch. “Go ahead sit down, try not to let your legs cramp up, because that really hurts. I hope some of you thought to grab some rations for the rest of us poor souls.”
As the men threw themselves down in the dirt or plopped down on various rocks, Cloud couldn't help but think it startling how quickly his hesitant comment brought about this result. Jac was spread on his back, chest heaving as he gulped in air, his pack discarded carelessly at his side. Even Zack had made himself comfortable on the ground. Cloud felt foolish standing there.
"Take a load off your feet, Cloud," one of the troopers Cloud still didn’t have a name for piped up, gesturing with one hand for Cloud to sit down. "That pack must be killing you." It had been part of the equipment Zack had shoved at him, though it had been such an insignificant weight that Cloud had barely noticed. He hastily swung it off his shoulder and let it hit the dirt with a dusty thud. He wasn't sure of its contents, but neither he nor Zack had added anything to it, so he doubted there was anything edible in the general equipment. "Geeze, take off that helmet, too," the trooper continued with a laugh, knocking his hand against his own helmet at his side. "You're making me hot just watching. You always do tend to wear that thing when you don't have to." He was obviously the one Cloud should know, but the dark hair and tan skin didn't jog anything in his memory no matter how hard he tried.
"I hate these things," the other nameless trooper said disgustedly, kicking his until it rolled into Jac's side. The prone trooper gave a grunt at the contact, but seemed content to leave it where it lay. "They're uncomfortable, hot, itchy, block your vision, and are a nuisance to keep track of. Plus they make you look like a twit."
"They also keep your head in one piece, if a monster decides to chow down on your ass," Edge said, tossing a ration bar across to Zack who caught it with a cheerful word of thanks.
"That only happens if it mistakes your ass for your face, which is possible with you, eh Sparo?" Jac taunted, sitting up and grinning at the disgruntled trooper. Cloud made a mental note of the name, nearly up to date on his current companions.
Zack paused in tearing open his food to remark, "My buddy Kunsel would swear by his helmet. I don't think he's ever taken the thing off."
"At least the SOLDIER helmets look cool," the still nameless trooper said wistfully. "Do they allow you to burn your old uniform when you join?" He passed a canteen to Gibbs with an expectant look.
"Don't get your hopes up, Connally," Gibbs replied, taking a swig from the bottle and passing it to Cloud. He blinked at it, taking a hesitant sip before passing it on to Jac. He didn't feel dehydrated at all, nor even remotely tired, though it was probably best to seem as normal as possible. Even though the grunts had apparently forgotten or were disregarding Sephiroth's presence, Cloud had not been able to relax with the man so near. It was getting frustrating, being so on edge yet being almost completely ignored.
As the company settled in, Cloud listened with mild interest to their interactions. His rag-tag group of friends weren't the most functional of teams, Cloud among the worst of them with Vincent taking the prize, but even the more talkative of them never spent too much time teasing or chatting. Their mission had been too dire, their pasts too dark. The only time it had been really light hearted was when Aerith had been alive. After her death, the spirit of the team had been sucked out.
Shaking his head at the gloomy thoughts, Cloud glanced over at Zack to distract himself just in time to see him crane around to look toward Sephiroth. “Hey, Sephiroth? Are you just going to stand there or what?” When Sephiroth failed to acknowledge him, Zack muttered, “I take that as a yes.” Cloud thought he heard Zack say something about Sephiroth being very good at holding up walls under his breath, and decided his friend's sense of humor was something he'd never quite understand.
It wasn't long after that that the troopers were rested enough to get moving again. Cloud had just finished shouldering his pack when he heard Zack calling Sephiroth's name again. For several seconds it didn't seem as if Sephiroth was going to acknowledge Zack at all, and then he turned and swept his gaze over them again. Cloud tensed, every nerve standing on end while the others seemed torn between jumping to attention and remaining as they were. Then Sephiroth turned that heavy gaze on him. It was piercing, even through Cloud's helmet, which he had failed to remove. It was a symbolic barrier between him and the silver-haired man, one he was loath to give up. Much like his time in Nibelheim, it was easier to hide behind the feature-concealing gear, to watch the world through the tinted shade of the visor.
After several breathless seconds, Zack's voice broke through the rising cacophony of emotion and the pounding of blood in Cloud's ears. “We're ready to go when you are, Sephiroth.” Sephiroth inclined his head slightly, and turned away without further word or acknowledgment. Cloud felt like he'd been struck in the chest by a behemoth, and he tried to hide his unease as they set off.
Part 2