Chapter 05 - Crisis of Churches, Part 1
Fandom: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII (FFVII, Advent Children, Crisis Core, Before Crisis, Dirge of Cerberus)
Pairing: Established Zack/Aerith, Eventual Sephiroth/Cloud (Subject to possible additions)
Rating: Teen (Subject to change)
Warnings: Violence, Language, Pretty much what you'd expect from FFVII. (Subject to additions)
Genre: Time Travel, AU, Action/Adventure, Drama, Friendship, Romance.
Words: 19,185
Summary: At first it was about preventing tragedy. For Cloud it soon becomes a fight to protect new bonds, tread untrod paths and find happy endings. Second chances aren't always easy in a time where ghosts live and heroes are human.
Special Thanks To: Our darling, amazing beta/guinea pig readers leasspell_dael & croix_souillees for all of your help. As well as nightpounce for helping inspire the summary, and the rest of the peanut gallery.
Chapter 04 - Crisis of Chocobos
Masterlist
Counter Crisis
by White Mage Koorii & Dragoon-Sama
Chapter 05 - Crisis of Churches
[ μ ] - εуλ 0001 (December 16th)
Midgar looked both the same and different from how Cloud remembered it. It was neither the destroyed ruins he'd left behind so recently, nor was it quite the same as the bustling metropolis he'd seen during his brief days as an eco-terrorist. This Midgar was an unfinished monolith with scaffolding everywhere, and entire sections of the plates still missing. Even the very heart of the city, the ShinRa building itself, didn't seem as if it were quite finished, quite as refined, as he recalled it. He stared up at it now and was struck again by a sense of déjà vu. He could only remember being here once, ready to storm the heavily guarded building to rescue Aerith. Now Cloud was going to march in like he belonged, and in a way he did.
Cloud let out a minute sigh as he glanced sideways at Zack who was a few feet away, and tried not to think that he was nearly within arm's distance of a certain silver-haired man. What were they going to do now? Cloud certainly couldn't return to his squadron with Connally; it would be obvious that he had no clue where to go, who his teammates were, or what needed to be done. On the other hand, he couldn't exactly go with Zack anymore. He wasn't a SOLDIER, and they had separate duties from the regular troopers.
All he could do at this point was trust that Zack had things in hand. At least now he could wash his hands of the whole chocobo fiasco.
The last few days had been some of the most stress filled ones in Cloud's life, bar the seven days he and the rest of AVALANCHE had waited for the world to end. Thanks to the chick's near frantic desire to remain close to Sephiroth, Cloud had been forced to keep the chocobo he was riding close behind Sephiroth's during the trip. There had been no real question about Sephiroth carrying the chick himself. Cloud hadn't minded keeping the chick on hand, but he had minded the forced close proximity to the one man he wanted to be as far away from as possible.
At least Sephiroth had seemed as uncomfortable with the whole affair as Cloud had been, though Cloud didn't know if that was more from being forced to ride a chocobo than anything. Despite Sephiroth's generally unruffled appearance, Cloud had seen a faint crease in his brow more than once, and each day when they'd mounted up he'd become engendered in a stare down with his bird. It had only served to heighten the absurdity of the entire trip.
And then there was Zack. Zack who was never more than a few chocobo lengths away, riding beside Sephiroth and who Cloud couldn't even bring himself to talk to over his own discomfort. He'd watched Zack though, through most of the ride. He'd been a helpful distraction of the buzzing, heavy presence of Sephiroth.
If Cloud weren't so attuned to the birds, hadn't known how to work with them so well, he might have been jealous of Zack's quick and easy adaptation to their mode of transport. Zack seemed to take to it like a natural, though he certainly wouldn't have made a good jockey. He was too heavily built, too tall. But Zack rode the bird, one hand on the reigns, the other loose and ready to grab his sword if he needed to, and his legs bent to absorb the jouncing shock of the bird's stride. His head had generally been tilted toward Sephiroth, and Cloud had a feeling they'd been conversing, or Zack had been nattering. He'd never quite gotten close enough to hear if he could help it.
Whenever Viri had fallen asleep in Cloud's arms, he'd dropped back as much as he dared to put some much needed distance between himself and Sephiroth. He hadn't fallen back onto the crutch of Zack's personality again, though he dearly wished he could. It was too risky with Sephiroth now obviously aware of him, and the entire team being on edge from all the stress.
They'd been forced to camp at night, and though it had been mostly uneventful, Cloud had been subjected once again to the surreal picture of Sephiroth interacting with the baby chocobo. During their first night, as soon as Cloud had released him Viri had immediately taken off across the camp to where Sephiroth was sitting, separate from the rest of them and talking with Zack. Zack had been alerted by Cloud's surprised cry and had nearly burst a lung laughing at the sight of the little grubby ball of fluff chirping happily in Sephiroth's lap. For his part Sephiroth looked downright startled and unsure what to do with his new companion.
There had been an awkward interlude as Cloud tried to retrieve the errant chick. Viri had stubbornly refused to be separated from Sephiroth again. Sephiroth had finally waved Cloud off when the chick had used his beak and claws to scale his coat where he had taken to sitting proprietorially on Sephiroth's shoulder, partially hidden under the man’s silver hair. Cloud had dearly wanted to kick Zack as he stalked past the recumbent man. Wasn't his friend supposed to help him in situations like this?
The rest of the soldiers had watched their antics mostly silently, and with varying degrees of humor and disbelief. Connally had looked like he'd been smacked upside the head, actually, though Sparo and Edge appeared to have bonded in their mutual amusement at the ridiculousness of the situation. Cloud had waved off any further conversation from them, too exhausted mentally to do more than curl up with his head pillowed on his pack and try to block out the sounds from the camp. After that he hadn't bothered to try and keep the bird from an increasingly bemused Sephiroth when they stopped for the evening, though each day Cloud had been forced to use the Chocobo Lure materia to get Viri to leave Sephiroth's side.
They'd made good time over the next few days, and finally arrived tired, extremely filthy, but triumphantly at Midgar's southern gate, where they'd released the tired chocobos to return to the ranch. Viri had been happy enough to be carried by Cloud again. So long as he'd stayed within a few feet of Sephiroth, at least.
The train up to the top of the plate had brought back a slew of memories that Cloud had nearly forgotten; of his time with AVALANCHE, and the close calls they'd had. After Meteor had destroyed most of ShinRa tower the trains had never run again between what was left of the plates and the slums below. It was a slice of nostalgia that Cloud was surprised to have missed.
The thought made him look again to the building looming over them. Few people were about now, though the glow of Midgar was exceedingly bright after the darker stretches of uninhabited countryside they had traversed. Cloud suspected that meant it was late. It was hard to tell in Midgar given the omnipresent gloom and the glow of the mako reactors.
Cloud glanced at Sephiroth and Zack's backs once more. Though Sephiroth wasn't anywhere as dirty as the rest of them, even he hadn't managed to make the entire trip without getting rumpled. His silver hair was disordered and Cloud could make out small, claw shaped muddy prints on the silver of his shoulder guards and the black of his coat. Next to Zack who looked like some sort of rescued wild man, Sephiroth still looked impeccable.
Zack clapped his hands, turned to face the troops with a little shower of dry mud falling loose from his clothes, and said, “I'm sure you’re all glad to be home, so off you go. Oh, but Cloud? You're with us.” Cloud could only feel relief at his words, though it was chased away when Sephiroth turned to regard them, and more importantly him.
A slightly stunned silence had descended over the bedraggled crew until Gibbs reached forward and slapped Cloud on the shoulder as he headed off. Edge dropped his hand on Cloud’s helmet and gave him a little shake as he followed. As the troopers filed past Jac patted his shoulder, saying, “Uh, Good luck, Cloud....”
Connally stopped just before walking out of sight and called, “I guess I'll see you soon, Cloud?” and then he was gone.
Cloud stared after them, all of his tension and relief subsumed by the shock he felt at the encouraging farewell. He would have thought they'd have been glad to be out of his presence and the weirdness that had attached itself to him. Cloud didn't have much time to dwell on their strange behavior as Zack moved toward him. Ahead of them Sephiroth strode away toward the glassy front doors of the ShinRa building.
Zack hovered for a moment, then smiled crookedly at Cloud. “Come on, we're taking you to meet Director Lazard.” Leaning in closer he whispered, “He's the head of SOLDIER right now.” A head of SOLDIER? Somehow Cloud had always felt it was either the President or Heidegger, or maybe even Sephiroth, who'd been in charge. It made sense, though, to have a dedicated position for it. He couldn't quite wrap his mind around anyone giving Sephiroth orders, however.
Viri wriggled in his arms, anxious to keep up with his desired human, so Cloud quickly started forward and brought his other hand up to prevent the chick from flipping out of his grasp. "What…what do I need to do?" he asked lowly to Zack. It was more of a question of if he might miss something due to his missing memories than what would be expected of the meeting. If all Cloud had to do was play the clueless trooper, he could manage that much. Anything more and Zack would see just how poor Cloud's acting skills were.
“Just be polite and let Sephiroth and me handle it,” Zack said in an undertone, even as he sent a cheeky wave at the receptionist stuck working the night shift before they followed Sephiroth up the nearby stairs. Zack had only gotten a shocked, distracted raise of a hand in return, Cloud noted. “Don't worry about it too much. Just keep your head down and Sephiroth will take care of everything. Lazard might be the head of SOLDIER, but, well.... This is Sephiroth we're talking about, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news-though most people consider this good news-but he's taken an interest in you.” He gave Cloud an incredulous look, and laughed lightly as if to lighten the impact of the news. “I can't say I blame him considering you introduced yourself with a sword.”
Cloud wondered if Zack knew how unhelpful he was being. Cloud himself didn't have much practice in the art of politeness, tending toward blunt speech that many would regard as insensitive. He really didn't need the reminder of his enormous blunder with attracting Sephiroth's attention, either. It was a normal reaction to seeing your worst enemy, surely. Cloud wasn't quite sure what that sentiment said about him, and dismissed it with a mental shake.
Around them a few people sitting at the streamlined glass and metal tables gawked at Sephiroth as he prowled by to stand near the bay of elevators, obviously waiting for them. They arrived just as the door pinged open. A woman stepped out only to immediately gasp in shock and drop the armful of folders she was carrying as she was met with Sephiroth's cat-slit green stare. Sephiroth dismissed her as quickly as he'd noticed her, head tilted just enough that he appeared to be contemplating whether or not he should wait for her to move or make use of the other elevator instead. Cloud watched the effect the Sephiroth had on the employees with sympathy. Sardonically, he couldn’t help but think they should be more used to his presence.
Zack hurried forward and scooped up the woman's scattered papers. “Sorry about that, miss,” he said smoothly. “We're in a bit of a hurry. Is this everything?”
“Y-y-y....” She couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from the intimidating man looming over the proceedings with an air of detached indifference even as she accepted the pile of folders back from Zack. With a faint grin, Zack gently pushed her to the side. As if he'd been waiting for that to happen, Sephiroth walked forward and into the elevator. Cloud found himself once again struck at the ease with which Zack integrated himself with people, even in just the few seconds he interacted with them. The woman's complete disregard of him didn't faze Zack for a moment. The contrast to Sephiroth's standoffishness was nearly tangible.
Cloud hesitated for just a moment before stepping into the elevator in front of Zack. He definitely did not like this at all. A feeling of claustrophobia struck him, making him wish he could at least take off his helmet so he could breathe easier. Sephiroth's presence was almost overwhelming in the tight quarters, and Cloud pressed himself against the wall. He had to fight against the urge to clutch his head at the over-loud buzz of reaction from the Jenova cells.
The combination of stresses and discomfort was making Cloud nauseous. He fought down the anxiety as best he could, and brought his free hand up to caress the chocobo chick's head in his nervousness. Viri chirped happily at the attention. When the elevator finally dinged, Cloud looked up with relief. It was short-lived, as apparently they were not to their desired destination.
Cloud tried very hard not to react as Rude stepped into the elevator. He nearly had the full set now, he mused. All he really needed was to run into a bright-eyed and loose-tongued Elena.
If Rude was at all perturbed at sharing an elevator with Sephiroth, he hid his reaction completely. The man had a killer poker face, and the fact he wore sunglasses even inside the building did not help. He merely nodded to both Sephiroth and Zack, raised an eyebrow at Cloud-or possibly the happy chocobo in his arms, it was hard to tell-then turned to silently wait for his floor.
It really wasn't fair that the Turks could still set his teeth on edge. Next to the crisp black suit, Cloud felt especially filthy, and his skin crawled with the desire to get clean. Not only that, but Rude's implacable silence made the absence of the boisterous Reno all the more dramatic. Cloud rarely saw the two Turks separately, so he felt as if the red-head was about to pop up with his damn electric sticks at any moment.
The next time the elevator stopped, Sephiroth moved forward, and Cloud wanted to sag with relief. He followed hot on the man's heels, telling himself it was just so Viri wouldn't complain. Why had he thought it was a good idea to follow one of Zack's plans? He was going to die before the day was out.
Zack and Sephiroth led the way down a short hall to an office they entered via an open, wide doorway between glassy walls covered in etched writing Cloud didn't bother to read. To their left a small, angular desk covered with a few neat stacks of documents took up space, while on the right the wall was filled with shelves of books. The Director of SOLDIER sat behind his large desk, head bent and blond hair spilling around his face, but upon their entrance he looked up. Cloud didn't know what he'd been expecting, but the man sitting uneasily in the pristine office was certainly not someone he'd envision as the head of SOLDIER.
Lazard adjusted his glasses and swept a look over the three of them. His gaze came to rest on Sephiroth. “Sephiroth.”
“Lazard,” Sephiroth said calmly. “I need to speak with you on an important matter.” Cloud was immediately on guard, aware that the air was full of a tension and silent conversation he was not privy to. Politics had never been his strong point; blowing up a reactor with AVALANCHE had been about the pinnacle of his political career.
“I see...” Lazard said slowly, and clasped his hands before him. “How can I be of assistance?”
“There was an incident during SOLDIER 1st Class Zack Fair's mission to Mideel,” Sephiroth intoned flatly, “Involving one of the troopers.” Lazard glanced immediately at Cloud and frowned. “He was exposed to mako.” It was, Cloud had to admit, baffling when Sephiroth's curt words actually seemed to lessen the tension in Lazard. An accident with a trooper on a simple mission was obviously not the first thing on the man's mind, and Cloud wondered what sort of trouble ShinRa was in now. A coverup? Or more accurately, another one? He shook himself mentally. It wasn't his problem. Cloud needed to focus on what he knew was coming and what he could change.
Lazard's frown was even more pronounced. Before he could say anything, Zack did what he did best and bowled into the conversation. “We discovered the reported mako pool, and Cloud was knocked into it,” he said earnestly, eyes wide and guileless. “Luckily it seems to have been heavily diluted by water so there weren't many ill effects. It probably wasn’t anything worse than what new recruits get, if that.”
Zack's fervent explanation was to be expected, and it both explained the situation and made it seem less of a disaster than it really was. It hadn't occurred to Cloud until now, but he did wonder about the Mideel mission. He obviously had no real recollection of it. Surely there was no way he'd fallen into a mako pool and survived. Despite what Zack said, the mako had been barely diluted by the small stream, burning into Cloud's skin like fire. He gave a small shudder at the memory. He really hated mako.
Lazard sat back, and it was easy to see that he was holding himself cautiously. There was also a calculating, thoughtful look to him that Cloud didn't like at all. “You want to make an exception and induct him into the SOLDIER program?” Lazard's query cut through Cloud's mental fog of thoughts. Had he just heard….
"You want to what?" he asked sharply, unable to contain himself. In his agitation, Cloud let the chick drop out of his arms. Zack hadn't said anything about this. If it was the last thing Cloud wanted, it was to be even more closely affiliated into ShinRa. He turned a stunned expression on Zack- though it was mostly lost thanks to the helmet-silently pleading for his friend to refute the statement.
SOLDIER had once been his greatest desire. It had meant he succeeded, that he was a somebody, and that people would look up to him. Cloud had found all of that and more with his group of rag-tag friends, without having to pay ShinRa's heavy price. Somehow he felt that if he were forced to wear the SOLDIER name, he would once again be hiding behind Zack's life, not living as himself but as a marionette of what other people expected. He didn't want to be a puppet again….
Out of the corner of his eye, Cloud became aware of something black moving across the floor. He turned his head just slightly, and saw Viri sitting with his legs curled under him, happily cooing from atop Sephiroth's boot. Cloud had to try very hard not to turn and march out of the room to get away from both kinds of madness.
Zack held his hands up, smiled disarmingly at Cloud, and gestured at him to be quiet and wait. Sephiroth had in the same space pulled his attention away from Lazard long enough to frown down at the chocobo chick. He did not, however, make any move to dislodge it. Cloud saw him look back at Lazard and narrow his eyes. Lazard looked a little more strained than he had before.
“No,” Sephiroth said. “While he has displayed an aptitude for the sword, I have not seen any other SOLDIER appropriate qualities in him.” Sephiroth's words were still full of honey and poison, even if he wasn't a psychotic madman. Backhanded compliments, underlying threats, and an infuriatingly superior attitude that Cloud longed to wipe off his face. He figured he was allowed to at least have less-than-friendly thoughts about the man. Though his agitation was obviously getting to him, because Cloud had a clear mental image of Lazard slumped dead over his desk, blood pooling on the smooth surface. Lazard gave Sephiroth a puzzled look, and the man continued, “The fact remains that he will require specialized training in his new abilities. There is a very real possibility that he could injure someone, or himself, if he's allowed to flounder.”
“He has displayed enhanced abilities?” Lazard asked. At Sephiroth's nod, he sigh faintly. “I see. And this, of course, falls only under the area of the SOLDIER program.”
“I suggest,” Sephiroth offered at a purr, “that to minimize fuss we assign him to Zack.” Cloud had to clench his fists to keep himself under control as his fate was decided over his head. It was logical, and it made sense just to stay quiet and let Zack and…Sephiroth take care of the politics and regulations. That didn't stop the feeling of impetuous helplessness. Cloud was too used to doing things on his own, being forced to handle his problems himself. Yes, he had his friends to back him up, but he was still the leader.
Lazard smiled a polite, political smile. “Yes, I can see why that would be necessary. And you are willing to take on this assignment, correct?” There was something familiar about the head of SOLDIER. Cloud couldn't put his finger on, but the man reminded him of someone else. Perhaps it was the blond hair, which wasn't a common hair color anywhere really. Possibly it was that his attitude reminded Cloud a bit of Reeve. Neither a greedy, corrupt politician like Heidegger or Palmer, nor a ruthless power-grubber like Scarlet.
Zack straightened from his slight slouch. “Yes, sir.”
“Hmm.” Lazard steepled his fingers together and regarded Zack for a moment. “You are aware that we can't allow this to interfere with the rest of your work. Perhaps it would be best if a 2nd Class SOLDIER was assigned to him? Surely it doesn't require the attention of a First.”
“He has shown some signs of aggression,” Sephiroth said, his gaze lifted aloft toward a point above Lazard's head rather than at the man himself. “And Zack is on friendly terms with him. It would be best to allow someone who is an acquaintance with him to watch him in case there are deviations from his normal personality. These are things someone who has never met him would not notice.”
Sharply, Lazard shot back, “You said he was mostly unaffected by the mako?”
Sephiroth didn't deign to answer and after a few seconds of silence Zack spoke up again, “He had a minor case of mako poisoning that lasted for bordering on forty-eight hours, but was otherwise healthy. He was able to endure the march here from Junon just fine.”
“Has his state of health been cleared by one of the scientists or medical staff?”
“He was allowed to leave Junon,” Sephiroth said shortly, tone clipped.
Lazard frowned at him, obviously unmoved by the non-answer, but seemed to realize he'd get nothing more. “I will speak with Heidegger on the matter tomorrow. Be aware that this could take a while.... We've never had a situation such as this, but I can see the necessity of it. I will let you know when the paperwork is done. It should be assumed that he falls under our jurisdiction starting now, however.” He paused a moment, his gaze sliding over the three of them from behind his glasses before he nodded. “I'll let the matter of his health slide for the moment, but once he’s officially a part of the SOLDIER program I will require a full work up.” The mention of the possibility of having to get checked out made Cloud's blood run cold. He wouldn't get any nearer to the science division than he had to, unless he was armed with his sword and allowed to take whatever precautions he found necessary. Beheading Hojo was his favorite.
“Sure thing!” Zack said cheerfully. Sephiroth merely inclined his head and turned to leave without waiting for a dismissal which disrupted the chocobo chick on his boot. It warked in indignation and began to scuttle after him, causing Sephiroth to stop and frown down at it.
Lazard turned a faint smile on Cloud. “I expect we'll be seeing more of each other in the future. Even though you are not a SOLDIER, you will be a proxy of the program until such time you are released back to the regular army. However, if you do well I expect it to be put forward as reason to recruit you into the SOLDIER program proper. Think of this as an...opportunity.” Lazard turned his attention to Zack. “Report in tomorrow morning so we can discuss your last mission in more detail.”
Cloud gave a belated salute as he realized they were dismissed, before turning on his heel to follow Sephiroth out the door, Zack behind him. He crouched down abruptly and sensed Zack nearly trip over him. Cloud ignored that as he activated the Chocobo Lure materia he still had on him to the most powerful lure the sphere had available. The little black chick zipped over to him instantly, warking with delight. He scooped it up peremptorily, rising again in the same movement. He just wanted to get out of this den of wolves, and knew he was sentenced to spend the unforeseeable future trapped among ghosts and demons.
A sideways glance at Zack made him amend the horror of that thought; not all ghosts were bad, at least.
Sephiroth halted before the elevator and pressed the button to call it. When the doors pinged open, he merely looked at Zack for a moment, flicked a glance at Cloud, then stepped inside a second before they closed. Zack sighed and pushed the call button on the other elevator as a strange sort of silence descended on them. When the doors opened he ushered Cloud inside and hit the button for the ground floor. Inside the elevator Cloud shifted the chick to a more secure position. He felt a little bad since the chick was so singularly focused on the materia it looked nearly drugged, but he didn't want to handle its despondence at Sephiroth's absence. Cloud felt a lot better now the that immediate cause of most of his stress was gone.
“I'm not sure what all Sephiroth is planning, but I trust him,” Zack said, pressing a hand over his eyes tiredly. His words made him wonder what Zack did know Sephiroth was planning. Zack had been speaking to Sephiroth privately quite often on their way back to Midgar, though Cloud hadn’t thought much of it. The idea that Sephiroth had plans relating to him was vaguely disturbing. Zack’s continued musings drew him from the thought, for which Cloud was glad. “We have a few more things to do before we can bed down and get some sleep. Like finding your stuff.” He didn't bother answering Zack; within ShinRa walls, Cloud didn't feel safe enough to even hint at his discomfort. Zack didn't seem to mind, almost as if he were thinking aloud. A moment later Zack brought his hand down from his eyes and seemed to have some sort of epiphany. “That's it! Connally, the guy who was with us said he'd been in your squad for awhile. All we have to do is ask after Connally and we should be able to find out where you were bunked.” Cloud was glad someone had a plan.
The elevator opened again, spilling them out into ShinRa's massive entrance hall. There were even fewer people than before. As they hurried through the main floor, Cloud noted people were still staring in their direction. Seeing two filthy people and a chocobo in the pristine walls of the ShinRa building probably wasn't a common occurrence, and Zack was a SOLDIER. He shook his head slightly, glad again for the concealing helmet. All Cloud needed would be for the wrong executive to remember what he looked like, and then not even Sephiroth would be able to save him from Hojo's curiosity. Cloud would put that moment off for as long as he could.
There was a metallic tang to the breeze as they stepped out of the building. Even on top of the plate, nothing would make a dent in the heavy, polluted air that surrounded Midgar in a smog. Cloud wrinkled his nose slightly, and resigned himself to the smell. He was struck by a sudden thought that if Meteor never destroyed Midgar, then maybe this polluted city would continue to spread. Was he really doing the right thing? Hadn't some good come of the future?
It was a moot point now. Cloud was here, and he'd already changed so much with his mere presence. Even if he could go back, did he want to give up what he'd lost all over again? Staring at Zack’s profile as they walked along, Cloud already knew the answer. He had to try. He'd promised himself he'd try to make things better, and if he failed, well, he knew how to end things again. Cloud would never let Sephiroth destroy the world.
"I know you trust him," Cloud said softly, picking up the thread of conversation that he'd let drop earlier. Zack lead them out of the area directly around the ShinRa building and into the brown and gray shadows of Midgar. Cloud kept his gaze on the ground in front of him. He wasn't sure how to express his unease, since Zack's unending optimism couldn't seem to understand that it wasn't easy for Cloud to give Sephiroth another chance. "I…He's your friend, and I can't ask you to just…throw that away because I said it might happen." That was the last thing in the world Cloud wanted. Zack's loyalty to his friends was…it probably meant more to Cloud than it did even to Zack. It was the single reason Cloud was alive, and in the end had probably been Zack’s downfall.
"It's just…I…" Cloud shook his head in frustration, unable to express his reluctance to Zack. "I've had to fight him more times than I can remember. It was…it was only a couple months ago that I had to face him. He's…he never stops, and I’m always afraid of the next time he'll come back. What if I can't stop him again? What if I…fail again?" He shut his mouth, teeth clicking together uncomfortably. Cloud hadn't wanted to turn this into another emotionally charged sob story.
Zack shoved his hands deep into his pockets, features serious, but still wearing a slight smile. “I know Cloud,” he said, “I don't expect you to trust him. I don't even expect you to like him. And don't get me wrong, when I say I trust him I mean I trust him to handle things here and now and take care of all the paper shuffling. I also trust him to act like Sephiroth. I'm not trusting him blindly anymore. The thing is, if I start treating him like a pariah that's only going to push him out of reach. I'm wary, Cloud, I admit that and.... But I'm not going to let that stop me. Whatever may happen he isn't the Sephiroth you knew, and he might never be. He isn't your enemy.
“I don't expect you to get over what you've been through, possibly not ever.” Zack had stopped walking now. They were tucked out of sight in the gray brown, faintly green tinged shadows of the street. The golden orange glow of a street light pooled at the end of the barren causeway they were following. He reached out and placed a hand on Cloud's head, leaned down toward him and grinned. “All I want is for you to remember that he isn't the same man you fought, killed, and from what I'm getting, killed again-which, by the way, you're going to explain to me someday soon. Just like,” here he paused, and seemed to debate with himself for a moment, looking oddly uncomfortable, “I'm not the person you remember.”
Zack fumbled for a moment, brows furrowed with worry above the vibrant blue of his eyes. He pulled his hand back and ran it over his forehead before smoothing over the wild spikes of his hair. He turned away, gesturing expressively with his hands as he went, and said, “Anyway, if nothing else you can trust Sephiroth to stick to the patterns you've already set him to. Until something sets him off there's nothing to worry about. We just have to keep an eye on him.” There was something sardonic in Zack's voice there, as if he were thinking of something particular that Cloud had no notion of. “Besides, it's hard to be intimidated by a man who has a tiny black fuzzball laying claim to his boots.”
Cloud let out a strangled laugh comprised of mingled relief and disbelief. "How can you just…you make everything sound so easy, Zack." He shook his head, Zack's words reverberating in his mind. It was as if Zack had no demands of him, no expectations that Cloud sacrifice himself for the good of the world. The concept was almost too alien to Cloud. For so long, his existence had been tangled up in his sacrifices. To be told it was okay to be selfish was liberating, but didn't stop the welling of guilt at the thought. "I can see that…there's more to him than is apparent." He glanced down at the enraptured bird in his arms, smiling softly. "If I spend more time near him…. I can't guarantee it will get easier. There's…a reaction when I'm near him, that's hard to block out. Part of how he…. But I suppose I should get used to it, right?"
A frown stole the smile off Cloud's face, but it was a frown of thoughtfulness. "I don't know what to do now, though. Now that we have an excuse for me not to attend normal duties…. What will I be expected to do?" He reached his free hand up to tap at his helmet. "I can't continue wearing this, and you know people will begin to recognize me. But I don't want to hide out anywhere, either. There's...there's got to be something I can do now."
“I don't know what we're going to do,” Zack said. “I'm not the tactical genius Sephiroth is, and we can't exactly bring him in on this. Though I'm sure if we did tell him all of our problems with a certain scientist, he would be terminated immediately. He dislikes the man about as much as we do at this point.”
"I took out Hojo once," Cloud mumbled, ducking his chin behind his scarf, "but I'd be happy to do so again." It was a surprise that Sephiroth had such a high antagonism for the scientist, though perhaps it shouldn't have been.
Zack started walking again, hands eventually finding their way back into his pockets. The thud of his boots echoed in the silence around them. “And, you know Cloud...I realize you're worried about all this and want to get moving straight out, but have you ever considered just taking some time to get used to all of this? Letting yourself relax a bit, take it all in.... You know, like a grace period? You're free to do that now, and I'm sure opportunities will present themselves. Until then we can plan until we've got headaches through the mako, and it could all shatter in a few seconds. I'll take you to the SOLDIER floor eventually. I've got some friends there who are good about information. I'm sure if there's anything we can use they'll have heard it long before us.”
Cloud glanced up at Zack's face to be met by a reassuring smile. It had never occurred to him to just…let things happen. He always seemed to be racing two steps behind everything, and now that he was ahead of the proverbial game, Cloud couldn't remember what it was like to just…relax.
The fact that there were other SOLDIERs was another thing that came as a surprise to Cloud. By the time Sephiroth had risen again, they were already almost completely wiped out, only the people's memories of mako-glowing eyes and terror being their legacy. Cloud wasn't sure how much they could be trusted considering that fact, but if Zack thought it was a good idea to use them as resources, then it was probably safe enough.
"I…guess," he said, still unsure that waiting for any time at all was a good plan. "It's…. How long do we have? Nibelheim…it happens at the start of October...." The air currently had a winter chill, but it was possible that the Nibelheim mission was sooner rather than later. Cloud grit his teeth. If it was soon, perhaps the ripples he'd caused would change things so Zack and he wouldn't even be sent along. The thought that Sephiroth wouldn't still be deployed was laughable. Hojo had planned too well for it to fall apart, even when something unexpected came up.
Ahead of them a fence divided one set of this particular sector from another. A gated off entryway stood over the road, with both a foot entrance and one through which vehicles could be driven. Beyond the fence, long, dark, and identical buildings stood in neat, orderly rows, their entrances lit from above by solitary lamps. Closer to them a light glowed from the small, glass booth in which a figure was hunched. From this distance Cloud could hear the faint sound of a static filled radio station reporting something he couldn't make out.
As they came upon the booth, Zack raised his hand to rap on the glass. The guard behind it jerked, and nearly overbalanced from the chair he was settled in and proceeded to gawk at the SOLDIER on the other side. “Hey,” Zack said amiably. “Night shift, I feel for you man. I can't wait to get to bed.” The guard muttered something unintelligible in response. Zack didn't seem to care, and merely carried on, “Look we need to get in, my buddy here has to get his stuff. He's moving to new quarters.” Then, as if he'd only just remembered something. “Oh, yeah, and I need to find a guy named Connally. You think you can point me in the right direction?”
The startled guard fumbled among the mess of glossy magazines on his desk, before turning to the console built nearby. The clack of keys filled the half-darkness and a moment later he muttered, “He, er, appears to be in building 7-B, sir. Room 1-5.”
“Thanks, you're a real help,” Zack said cheerfully. The guard saluted sloppily and nearly fell over again before he managed to hit the button that opened the gate to let them in. Zack strode through and kept walking a ways, his head tilted up to take in the large, blocky numbers and letters painted on the front of the buildings. Once they were out of earshot he waved Cloud closer. “It was December 10th when we shipped out for Mideel, and it's been several days since then. So if things go down next year, and we've got about.... What? Ten, eleven months?”
Cloud gave a soft hum of agreement. There was still time, at least. He almost wasn't sure what he was going to do with that time. Throughout all the time spent battling Sephiroth, Jenova, or just to save the Planet, he and his friends had merely reacted to events. Never had they spent the time to really plan things out, at least not without their plans falling apart to outside forces.
Now he had months to fill up, waiting for the inevitable to happen. It was grating, since Cloud was worried that if he did nothing now, nothing would change then either. Thinking about it, about failing again, sent a chill down his spine. Physically, he'd be able to do it, stop Sephiroth before the madman could begin his schemes again, but mentally…. Cloud would break. Worse than he had from the mako, worse than after Zack's first death, there would be nothing left but a puppet, a body whose only purpose was to follow where the strings pulled. If he wasn’t able to make things right, to save the people he loved, when he had this much advantage...then he was worse than a failure. He wasn’t sure he could survive the guilt a second time.
Cloud blinked as he realized they were no longer walking, and were instead standing in front of a door. Cloud glanced over to find Zack waiting patiently with a bemused smile on his face. He hadn't realized he'd been so distracted. Cloud hoped, belatedly, that Zack hadn't been trying to talk to him. He was too used to being on his own with only his thoughts as company.
Zack would have to take the lead here. Cloud had no idea what sort of things he even owned in this time, so it was better if someone who was honestly ignorant of it asked Connally about it. The inside of the building was just as utilitarian as the outside, though it was slightly brighter; a more gray metallic shade than the gray-brown of the outside. The lights were low runner lights at the base of the walls, giving it an odd greenish glow in the gloom. Each door had block-like numbers on them, large and pale against the dark metal. It wasn't hard to find the fifth door on the first floor.
Zack thumped his fist against the metal. They didn't have to wait long as there was a thump and some curses from beyond the door before it opened and the beleaguered features of the very man they were looking for appeared before them. Whatever Connally had been meaning to say froze on his tongue as he gaped at them. “Cloud? ...S-SOLDIER Fair!”
“Hey, take it easy,” Zack said glibly. “You weren't sleeping yet were you?”
“I'd just started to doze off, but it's alright. Is something the matter, sir?” Connally asked, looking like he would genuinely give up his much wanted sleep if he was needed again.
“Well, Cloud's got to move to new quarters so we came to collect his stuff. If you could just direct me toward it, I'll grab it since he has his hands full,” Zack said with a wave toward the chocobo chick in Cloud's arms, “and get out of your hair so you can sleep.”
Before Connally could say anything else, a gruff voice in the darkness said, “I'll help you, sir,” as a large form jumped down out of one of the bunks. Zack followed the beckoning shadow into the room, leaving Cloud and Connally by the door.
Connally turned to Cloud, wide eyed, and asked in hushed whisper, “D-did they promote you or something?”
Cloud considered the question silently, internally scrambling for what he should say. What would Zack do? …No, that was a dangerous line of thought. Still, Connally was looking at him with genuine worry, and Zack would be back in a minute, so it was up to Cloud what sort of rumors began at this point. The military was the worst gossip he knew of.
"I…am not being promoted, exactly," he said lowly, keeping his voice from carrying any farther than the other trooper. Zack might be able to hear, but there was no problem there. "It's just…my reaction to the mako. They want to make sure I can handle the changes." Hopefully that would be enough to assuage the general curiosity about Cloud's sudden absence. Connally nodded slowly, but still looked worried.
Zack came back out, a duffel bag over one shoulder. Cloud nodded awkwardly to Connally, preparing to follow Zack down the hall again.
"Um…" Connally blurted out, causing Cloud to stop and stare in surprise. "You…take care Cloud. If you need a break, or…yeah. Just…" The trooper shuffled his feet in embarrassment. "We've got your back, alright?"
"…Yeah," Cloud said, unsure where the display of camaraderie stemmed from. He couldn't imagine that loyalty among grunts was all that common, though maybe he was just too biased against ShinRa to realize that it was composed of real people. "Thanks," he added after another moment's pause. It somehow felt inadequate a word, but Cloud had nothing more to offer.
The walk back through the military compound was mostly silent, punctuated only by the muffled sounds of sleepless Midgar and the odd coo from Viri. Zack lead the way, detouring back toward the ShinRa building before heading back into the weave of city streets and around to the entrance to another compound. They passed through a more highly, secured entrance where a 3rd Class SOLDIER on guard duty eagerly greeted Zack-calling him 'Boss'-and let them through. The buildings here looked more like apartment buildings. There were three of them situated at the corners of a vaguely triangular square at the center of which was a monument of the same SOLDIER symbol that was stamped on the front of Zack's harness. They were made of the same dull brown-gray stonework as the rest of the buildings on the plate.
Zack headed straight across the square for the building sitting at the pinnacle of the triangle, and opened the pristine glass door. He ushered Cloud ahead of him, through another set of glass doors which required a key card to open, then lead him to the single elevator waiting beyond. “With all these security measures you'd think we couldn't take care of ourselves,” he muttered to Cloud as he jammed one of the buttons with his thumb. “I mean it's not like the entire building is half full of SOLDIERs or anything.” After he said it, Zack yawned widely and stretched. He nearly dropped the bag of Cloud's things when he waved cheekily at the security camera pointedly watching them from a corner.
Cloud agreed silently with Zack; for a building full of the most enhanced human beings on the Planet, the SOLDIER barracks were far too heavily guarded. He supposed that it was partially that ShinRa valued its lucrative projects more than the gil-a-dozen regular troopers, and also because they did not want the secrets associated with SOLDIER to be accessible to just anyone. SOLDIERs had access to sensitive documents, and not all of them stayed in ShinRa's main building.
The elevator stopped, and Zack lead Cloud out into a hallway that was just about as drab as the one in the rank and file's barracks, though the doors were spaced further along it. The door Zack made his way to looked the same as the rest in the hall, though it didn't have a number on it like the doors in the trooper barracks. Instead it had a small name plate next to it which announced that 1st Class Zack Fair was in residence. There was space beneath Zack's name for another, which was currently empty.
With another swipe of his key card, Zack opened the door to reveal a spartan little room. There were obvious signs of Zack's personality; a television tucked into one corner, a rather comfortable looking couch with a blanket draped haphazardly across it which suggested Zack had a tendency to sleep out here rather than in his room. The low table between the two was covered in a scattering of magazines-a dated copy of Famous Gardens Monthly side by side with a dog eared Craftsman Monthly-loose papers, and a copy of LOVELESS, the cover still bright and glossy and obviously unread. On the far wall a rack for weapons was present, a standard issue SOLDIER long sword taking up one of the spaces. Three doors lead off the tiny room, all three in various states of standing open as if just waiting for the owner of the space to return and take up his daily routine.
The apartment came as a surprise to Cloud. He'd never really sat down and imagined where Zack had lived back in Midgar. Even if he had, he doubted he would have imagined the rather cramped, militaristic accommodations. There were touches of his friend's personality scattered everywhere, though, leaving what normally would have been a cold, plain room that much brighter and lived in.
"Make yourself at home," Zack said as he breezed in. He dropped the duffel bag on the sofa, and proceeded to drop the key card and the contents of his pockets, his cell phone and a few softly glowing materia, onto the surface of the table. Then he turned to face Cloud with a grin somewhere between challenging and teasing. “So, who gets the shower first?”
Zack's injunction for Cloud to 'make himself at home' made him squirm uncomfortably. Tifa had said that, about her 7th Heaven bar. She'd set aside a room just for him, assuring him that it was his home, that he was always welcome. Cloud had tried to make the room his own. Photos from his travels, souvenirs, mechanical junk for Fenrir or his sword used to litter the area, but eventually he hadn't been able to feel comfortable there. The guilt that ate at him made things far too tense, until it became too much. Eventually he'd stripped the room bare, and gone to live in Aerith's church. He'd been unable to find his redemption there, either.
Zack's flippant question was another matter, however. Cloud didn't think he'd ever felt quite so filthy in his life even after dropping into the sewers under Don Corneo's mansion. He glanced around the room again, and spotted an open door that lead to a tiled room, obviously the bathing area. Cloud turned his attention back to his friend, and gave a small smile.
"Flip you for it?" he offered, gesturing to a couple coins Zack had spilled from his pockets onto the table. Zack's grin only widened as he turned to collect one of the coins. Cloud took the opportunity to cross the room swiftly, closing the door to the bathroom just as he heard an outraged cry from Zack. Oh well.
He glanced down at the chick that was still snuggled happily in his arms. The Chocobo Lure was still glowing softly, and Cloud figured this was probably the best place to end the spell. Viri wouldn't be able to escape the room, and the little chick was also covered in grime from the journey over. Marsh mud caked the fluffy down, and it couldn't be comfortable.
With a lick of thought the materia went dark, and Viri shook his head in confusion. Cloud set the chick down, taking a moment to strip off his filthy uniform, anxious to get clean of the road and other unidentifiable grime. Sensing another's gaze on him, Cloud paused in the act of pulling a boot off to look down again at Viri. He found himself caught in the saddest gaze he'd yet experienced; everything about the chick was drooping and pathetic. The chocobo's eyes fixed pleadingly on his own.
"…You have to get clean first. You'll feel better," he mumbled, turning back to his task. He knew that the baby probably didn't understand much human speech, but chocobos were highly intelligent. Both Tifa and Cid had talked to the chocobos as if they understood, and Cloud hadn't seen any indication that they didn't.
A few moments study allowed Cloud to get the shower going, and the immediate relief of warm water made him sigh. Another glance at the bundle of misery still standing disconsolately by the door had him sighing for a different reason, and he padded back over to scoop the chick up. Viri squabbled at the sudden movement, but his irritation subsided as Cloud set him under the running water. The chirps took on a delighted quality, and soon the little bird was splashing happily at his feet.
Over the sound of the running water, Cloud heard the door open and Zack's voice floated to him, “Hey Cloud, I'm putting your bag in here. I figured you might like to have some clothes.” He ignored it all for now, and focused on getting blessedly clean.
Using one hand to towel off his hair, Cloud stepped out of the shower, significantly cleaner and much more relaxed. He felt a splattering of water on his legs, and looked down to see Viri fluffed up as he shook out the water from himself. The little bird's black fluff settled down, but still stood out and made the chick look rounder than normal. Cloud grinned slightly at the sight, nudging the chick out of the way as he strode to the bag by the door.
He'd half expected Zack to withhold his clothes completely, but apparently his friend was more mature than to retaliate to Cloud's trick. Cloud let the towel drape over his shoulder as he rummaged through the duffel bag for something to wear. Eventually he pulled out some cotton pants and a t-shirt. Once dressed, he hefted the bag to his shoulder, checked to be sure his feet were clear of the hyperactive fluffball, then exited the bathroom.
Zack had sprawled out on the couch, Buster Sword across his lap and cleaning equipment in hand. Cloud hesitated, feeling suddenly extremely childish for his actions. His friend had covered for him, gave him a safe place to stay, and Cloud was being ungrateful for that.
"Sorry," he said, glancing down and away from the couch. "The…I'm finished, if you want to go in." He felt foolish for stating the obvious, but he didn't know how to handle Zack in such a normal situation. There was no one to fight, no one to hide from. For a moment he feared that Zack too would see Cloud for the failure he was, now that there was nothing else to hide behind. He shoved the feeling aside, but worry settled in his stomach like a lead ball.
Zack gave a last swipe of the cloth he was using to clean the enormous sword, a look of satisfaction on his face before he looked up at Cloud and beamed. “Don't worry about it. I would have done the same thing to you if I'd thought about it,” he teased.
He stood up and walked over to the wall where the longsword hung. Almost reverently, Zack settled Buster Sword onto the hooks obviously meant for it, then stepped back. For a moment he merely stood there, looking at the sword with an odd, wistful, half smile on his face and a shadow in his expression. His fingers lingered, just barely touching the blade while his gaze flickered over it, examining it. When Zack stepped away his expression immediately shifted to one of reflecting his usual boundless energy, though tinged by the dark smudges of exhaustion.
“You'd think that water would make your hair less crazy,” Zack noted, amusement underlying his tone thickly. Zack glanced down at the puffed up chick that leaned dourly against Cloud's legs. “Well, anyway, I got that room,” he gestured toward the open door, “ready for you while you were showering.” Zack disappeared into his own room for a moment. When he reappeared he made a bee-line for the bathroom. He paused just at the door, and looked back at Cloud with an easy, friendly smile. “I'll see you in the morning. Night, Cloud.”
Cloud lingered for another minute, staring blankly at the door Zack had disappeared behind. Then he shook his head slightly, shaking further sullen thoughts out of his mind, and padded over to the door Zack had indicated as where he'd be staying. The room was bare, and he wondered for a moment why no one else had been assigned here since the facility was obviously intended for two. The bed was built right into the wall, a couple of drawers for storage in the space underneath it. Another set of drawers lined the head board area, a storage locker above them, and a niche with a bare desk had been built across from the bed, a chair sitting tucked up against it.
The bag made a dull thump against the floor as Cloud set it down next to the bed. Possibly he should unpack it to the drawers intended for that purpose, but suddenly he was struck by the fatigue of the last few days. He ran a hand tiredly through his hair before giving up and flopping face down into the pillow on the bed. It was a hard, mass-produced fare, but Cloud had slept on much worse over the years.
An imperious wark from the floor made him stir, and he propped himself on an elbow to peer over the edge of the bed. Viri warked again at him, flapping his tiny wings in a demand for attention. Cloud gave the chick a small frown even as he reached over to scoop it onto the bed with him. He dropped onto his side again, watching Viri stumble on the yielding surface of the mattress.
"What am I supposed to do with you, anyway?" he asked the bird quietly. Viri ignored him, traipsing to Cloud's side before sitting down, tucking his legs under himself and snuggling against Cloud's ribs. Cloud ignored the ticklish feeling on his stomach, bringing a hand over to pet at the soft down, still damp from the shower, again. He never even felt himself fall asleep.
Part 2
Pairing: Established Zack/Aerith, Eventual Sephiroth/Cloud (Subject to possible additions)
Rating: Teen (Subject to change)
Warnings: Violence, Language, Pretty much what you'd expect from FFVII. (Subject to additions)
Genre: Time Travel, AU, Action/Adventure, Drama, Friendship, Romance.
Words: 19,185
Summary: At first it was about preventing tragedy. For Cloud it soon becomes a fight to protect new bonds, tread untrod paths and find happy endings. Second chances aren't always easy in a time where ghosts live and heroes are human.
Special Thanks To: Our darling, amazing beta/guinea pig readers leasspell_dael & croix_souillees for all of your help. As well as nightpounce for helping inspire the summary, and the rest of the peanut gallery.
Chapter 04 - Crisis of Chocobos
Masterlist
Counter Crisis
by White Mage Koorii & Dragoon-Sama
Chapter 05 - Crisis of Churches
[ μ ] - εуλ 0001 (December 16th)
Midgar looked both the same and different from how Cloud remembered it. It was neither the destroyed ruins he'd left behind so recently, nor was it quite the same as the bustling metropolis he'd seen during his brief days as an eco-terrorist. This Midgar was an unfinished monolith with scaffolding everywhere, and entire sections of the plates still missing. Even the very heart of the city, the ShinRa building itself, didn't seem as if it were quite finished, quite as refined, as he recalled it. He stared up at it now and was struck again by a sense of déjà vu. He could only remember being here once, ready to storm the heavily guarded building to rescue Aerith. Now Cloud was going to march in like he belonged, and in a way he did.
Cloud let out a minute sigh as he glanced sideways at Zack who was a few feet away, and tried not to think that he was nearly within arm's distance of a certain silver-haired man. What were they going to do now? Cloud certainly couldn't return to his squadron with Connally; it would be obvious that he had no clue where to go, who his teammates were, or what needed to be done. On the other hand, he couldn't exactly go with Zack anymore. He wasn't a SOLDIER, and they had separate duties from the regular troopers.
All he could do at this point was trust that Zack had things in hand. At least now he could wash his hands of the whole chocobo fiasco.
The last few days had been some of the most stress filled ones in Cloud's life, bar the seven days he and the rest of AVALANCHE had waited for the world to end. Thanks to the chick's near frantic desire to remain close to Sephiroth, Cloud had been forced to keep the chocobo he was riding close behind Sephiroth's during the trip. There had been no real question about Sephiroth carrying the chick himself. Cloud hadn't minded keeping the chick on hand, but he had minded the forced close proximity to the one man he wanted to be as far away from as possible.
At least Sephiroth had seemed as uncomfortable with the whole affair as Cloud had been, though Cloud didn't know if that was more from being forced to ride a chocobo than anything. Despite Sephiroth's generally unruffled appearance, Cloud had seen a faint crease in his brow more than once, and each day when they'd mounted up he'd become engendered in a stare down with his bird. It had only served to heighten the absurdity of the entire trip.
And then there was Zack. Zack who was never more than a few chocobo lengths away, riding beside Sephiroth and who Cloud couldn't even bring himself to talk to over his own discomfort. He'd watched Zack though, through most of the ride. He'd been a helpful distraction of the buzzing, heavy presence of Sephiroth.
If Cloud weren't so attuned to the birds, hadn't known how to work with them so well, he might have been jealous of Zack's quick and easy adaptation to their mode of transport. Zack seemed to take to it like a natural, though he certainly wouldn't have made a good jockey. He was too heavily built, too tall. But Zack rode the bird, one hand on the reigns, the other loose and ready to grab his sword if he needed to, and his legs bent to absorb the jouncing shock of the bird's stride. His head had generally been tilted toward Sephiroth, and Cloud had a feeling they'd been conversing, or Zack had been nattering. He'd never quite gotten close enough to hear if he could help it.
Whenever Viri had fallen asleep in Cloud's arms, he'd dropped back as much as he dared to put some much needed distance between himself and Sephiroth. He hadn't fallen back onto the crutch of Zack's personality again, though he dearly wished he could. It was too risky with Sephiroth now obviously aware of him, and the entire team being on edge from all the stress.
They'd been forced to camp at night, and though it had been mostly uneventful, Cloud had been subjected once again to the surreal picture of Sephiroth interacting with the baby chocobo. During their first night, as soon as Cloud had released him Viri had immediately taken off across the camp to where Sephiroth was sitting, separate from the rest of them and talking with Zack. Zack had been alerted by Cloud's surprised cry and had nearly burst a lung laughing at the sight of the little grubby ball of fluff chirping happily in Sephiroth's lap. For his part Sephiroth looked downright startled and unsure what to do with his new companion.
There had been an awkward interlude as Cloud tried to retrieve the errant chick. Viri had stubbornly refused to be separated from Sephiroth again. Sephiroth had finally waved Cloud off when the chick had used his beak and claws to scale his coat where he had taken to sitting proprietorially on Sephiroth's shoulder, partially hidden under the man’s silver hair. Cloud had dearly wanted to kick Zack as he stalked past the recumbent man. Wasn't his friend supposed to help him in situations like this?
The rest of the soldiers had watched their antics mostly silently, and with varying degrees of humor and disbelief. Connally had looked like he'd been smacked upside the head, actually, though Sparo and Edge appeared to have bonded in their mutual amusement at the ridiculousness of the situation. Cloud had waved off any further conversation from them, too exhausted mentally to do more than curl up with his head pillowed on his pack and try to block out the sounds from the camp. After that he hadn't bothered to try and keep the bird from an increasingly bemused Sephiroth when they stopped for the evening, though each day Cloud had been forced to use the Chocobo Lure materia to get Viri to leave Sephiroth's side.
They'd made good time over the next few days, and finally arrived tired, extremely filthy, but triumphantly at Midgar's southern gate, where they'd released the tired chocobos to return to the ranch. Viri had been happy enough to be carried by Cloud again. So long as he'd stayed within a few feet of Sephiroth, at least.
The train up to the top of the plate had brought back a slew of memories that Cloud had nearly forgotten; of his time with AVALANCHE, and the close calls they'd had. After Meteor had destroyed most of ShinRa tower the trains had never run again between what was left of the plates and the slums below. It was a slice of nostalgia that Cloud was surprised to have missed.
The thought made him look again to the building looming over them. Few people were about now, though the glow of Midgar was exceedingly bright after the darker stretches of uninhabited countryside they had traversed. Cloud suspected that meant it was late. It was hard to tell in Midgar given the omnipresent gloom and the glow of the mako reactors.
Cloud glanced at Sephiroth and Zack's backs once more. Though Sephiroth wasn't anywhere as dirty as the rest of them, even he hadn't managed to make the entire trip without getting rumpled. His silver hair was disordered and Cloud could make out small, claw shaped muddy prints on the silver of his shoulder guards and the black of his coat. Next to Zack who looked like some sort of rescued wild man, Sephiroth still looked impeccable.
Zack clapped his hands, turned to face the troops with a little shower of dry mud falling loose from his clothes, and said, “I'm sure you’re all glad to be home, so off you go. Oh, but Cloud? You're with us.” Cloud could only feel relief at his words, though it was chased away when Sephiroth turned to regard them, and more importantly him.
A slightly stunned silence had descended over the bedraggled crew until Gibbs reached forward and slapped Cloud on the shoulder as he headed off. Edge dropped his hand on Cloud’s helmet and gave him a little shake as he followed. As the troopers filed past Jac patted his shoulder, saying, “Uh, Good luck, Cloud....”
Connally stopped just before walking out of sight and called, “I guess I'll see you soon, Cloud?” and then he was gone.
Cloud stared after them, all of his tension and relief subsumed by the shock he felt at the encouraging farewell. He would have thought they'd have been glad to be out of his presence and the weirdness that had attached itself to him. Cloud didn't have much time to dwell on their strange behavior as Zack moved toward him. Ahead of them Sephiroth strode away toward the glassy front doors of the ShinRa building.
Zack hovered for a moment, then smiled crookedly at Cloud. “Come on, we're taking you to meet Director Lazard.” Leaning in closer he whispered, “He's the head of SOLDIER right now.” A head of SOLDIER? Somehow Cloud had always felt it was either the President or Heidegger, or maybe even Sephiroth, who'd been in charge. It made sense, though, to have a dedicated position for it. He couldn't quite wrap his mind around anyone giving Sephiroth orders, however.
Viri wriggled in his arms, anxious to keep up with his desired human, so Cloud quickly started forward and brought his other hand up to prevent the chick from flipping out of his grasp. "What…what do I need to do?" he asked lowly to Zack. It was more of a question of if he might miss something due to his missing memories than what would be expected of the meeting. If all Cloud had to do was play the clueless trooper, he could manage that much. Anything more and Zack would see just how poor Cloud's acting skills were.
“Just be polite and let Sephiroth and me handle it,” Zack said in an undertone, even as he sent a cheeky wave at the receptionist stuck working the night shift before they followed Sephiroth up the nearby stairs. Zack had only gotten a shocked, distracted raise of a hand in return, Cloud noted. “Don't worry about it too much. Just keep your head down and Sephiroth will take care of everything. Lazard might be the head of SOLDIER, but, well.... This is Sephiroth we're talking about, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news-though most people consider this good news-but he's taken an interest in you.” He gave Cloud an incredulous look, and laughed lightly as if to lighten the impact of the news. “I can't say I blame him considering you introduced yourself with a sword.”
Cloud wondered if Zack knew how unhelpful he was being. Cloud himself didn't have much practice in the art of politeness, tending toward blunt speech that many would regard as insensitive. He really didn't need the reminder of his enormous blunder with attracting Sephiroth's attention, either. It was a normal reaction to seeing your worst enemy, surely. Cloud wasn't quite sure what that sentiment said about him, and dismissed it with a mental shake.
Around them a few people sitting at the streamlined glass and metal tables gawked at Sephiroth as he prowled by to stand near the bay of elevators, obviously waiting for them. They arrived just as the door pinged open. A woman stepped out only to immediately gasp in shock and drop the armful of folders she was carrying as she was met with Sephiroth's cat-slit green stare. Sephiroth dismissed her as quickly as he'd noticed her, head tilted just enough that he appeared to be contemplating whether or not he should wait for her to move or make use of the other elevator instead. Cloud watched the effect the Sephiroth had on the employees with sympathy. Sardonically, he couldn’t help but think they should be more used to his presence.
Zack hurried forward and scooped up the woman's scattered papers. “Sorry about that, miss,” he said smoothly. “We're in a bit of a hurry. Is this everything?”
“Y-y-y....” She couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from the intimidating man looming over the proceedings with an air of detached indifference even as she accepted the pile of folders back from Zack. With a faint grin, Zack gently pushed her to the side. As if he'd been waiting for that to happen, Sephiroth walked forward and into the elevator. Cloud found himself once again struck at the ease with which Zack integrated himself with people, even in just the few seconds he interacted with them. The woman's complete disregard of him didn't faze Zack for a moment. The contrast to Sephiroth's standoffishness was nearly tangible.
Cloud hesitated for just a moment before stepping into the elevator in front of Zack. He definitely did not like this at all. A feeling of claustrophobia struck him, making him wish he could at least take off his helmet so he could breathe easier. Sephiroth's presence was almost overwhelming in the tight quarters, and Cloud pressed himself against the wall. He had to fight against the urge to clutch his head at the over-loud buzz of reaction from the Jenova cells.
The combination of stresses and discomfort was making Cloud nauseous. He fought down the anxiety as best he could, and brought his free hand up to caress the chocobo chick's head in his nervousness. Viri chirped happily at the attention. When the elevator finally dinged, Cloud looked up with relief. It was short-lived, as apparently they were not to their desired destination.
Cloud tried very hard not to react as Rude stepped into the elevator. He nearly had the full set now, he mused. All he really needed was to run into a bright-eyed and loose-tongued Elena.
If Rude was at all perturbed at sharing an elevator with Sephiroth, he hid his reaction completely. The man had a killer poker face, and the fact he wore sunglasses even inside the building did not help. He merely nodded to both Sephiroth and Zack, raised an eyebrow at Cloud-or possibly the happy chocobo in his arms, it was hard to tell-then turned to silently wait for his floor.
It really wasn't fair that the Turks could still set his teeth on edge. Next to the crisp black suit, Cloud felt especially filthy, and his skin crawled with the desire to get clean. Not only that, but Rude's implacable silence made the absence of the boisterous Reno all the more dramatic. Cloud rarely saw the two Turks separately, so he felt as if the red-head was about to pop up with his damn electric sticks at any moment.
The next time the elevator stopped, Sephiroth moved forward, and Cloud wanted to sag with relief. He followed hot on the man's heels, telling himself it was just so Viri wouldn't complain. Why had he thought it was a good idea to follow one of Zack's plans? He was going to die before the day was out.
Zack and Sephiroth led the way down a short hall to an office they entered via an open, wide doorway between glassy walls covered in etched writing Cloud didn't bother to read. To their left a small, angular desk covered with a few neat stacks of documents took up space, while on the right the wall was filled with shelves of books. The Director of SOLDIER sat behind his large desk, head bent and blond hair spilling around his face, but upon their entrance he looked up. Cloud didn't know what he'd been expecting, but the man sitting uneasily in the pristine office was certainly not someone he'd envision as the head of SOLDIER.
Lazard adjusted his glasses and swept a look over the three of them. His gaze came to rest on Sephiroth. “Sephiroth.”
“Lazard,” Sephiroth said calmly. “I need to speak with you on an important matter.” Cloud was immediately on guard, aware that the air was full of a tension and silent conversation he was not privy to. Politics had never been his strong point; blowing up a reactor with AVALANCHE had been about the pinnacle of his political career.
“I see...” Lazard said slowly, and clasped his hands before him. “How can I be of assistance?”
“There was an incident during SOLDIER 1st Class Zack Fair's mission to Mideel,” Sephiroth intoned flatly, “Involving one of the troopers.” Lazard glanced immediately at Cloud and frowned. “He was exposed to mako.” It was, Cloud had to admit, baffling when Sephiroth's curt words actually seemed to lessen the tension in Lazard. An accident with a trooper on a simple mission was obviously not the first thing on the man's mind, and Cloud wondered what sort of trouble ShinRa was in now. A coverup? Or more accurately, another one? He shook himself mentally. It wasn't his problem. Cloud needed to focus on what he knew was coming and what he could change.
Lazard's frown was even more pronounced. Before he could say anything, Zack did what he did best and bowled into the conversation. “We discovered the reported mako pool, and Cloud was knocked into it,” he said earnestly, eyes wide and guileless. “Luckily it seems to have been heavily diluted by water so there weren't many ill effects. It probably wasn’t anything worse than what new recruits get, if that.”
Zack's fervent explanation was to be expected, and it both explained the situation and made it seem less of a disaster than it really was. It hadn't occurred to Cloud until now, but he did wonder about the Mideel mission. He obviously had no real recollection of it. Surely there was no way he'd fallen into a mako pool and survived. Despite what Zack said, the mako had been barely diluted by the small stream, burning into Cloud's skin like fire. He gave a small shudder at the memory. He really hated mako.
Lazard sat back, and it was easy to see that he was holding himself cautiously. There was also a calculating, thoughtful look to him that Cloud didn't like at all. “You want to make an exception and induct him into the SOLDIER program?” Lazard's query cut through Cloud's mental fog of thoughts. Had he just heard….
"You want to what?" he asked sharply, unable to contain himself. In his agitation, Cloud let the chick drop out of his arms. Zack hadn't said anything about this. If it was the last thing Cloud wanted, it was to be even more closely affiliated into ShinRa. He turned a stunned expression on Zack- though it was mostly lost thanks to the helmet-silently pleading for his friend to refute the statement.
SOLDIER had once been his greatest desire. It had meant he succeeded, that he was a somebody, and that people would look up to him. Cloud had found all of that and more with his group of rag-tag friends, without having to pay ShinRa's heavy price. Somehow he felt that if he were forced to wear the SOLDIER name, he would once again be hiding behind Zack's life, not living as himself but as a marionette of what other people expected. He didn't want to be a puppet again….
Out of the corner of his eye, Cloud became aware of something black moving across the floor. He turned his head just slightly, and saw Viri sitting with his legs curled under him, happily cooing from atop Sephiroth's boot. Cloud had to try very hard not to turn and march out of the room to get away from both kinds of madness.
Zack held his hands up, smiled disarmingly at Cloud, and gestured at him to be quiet and wait. Sephiroth had in the same space pulled his attention away from Lazard long enough to frown down at the chocobo chick. He did not, however, make any move to dislodge it. Cloud saw him look back at Lazard and narrow his eyes. Lazard looked a little more strained than he had before.
“No,” Sephiroth said. “While he has displayed an aptitude for the sword, I have not seen any other SOLDIER appropriate qualities in him.” Sephiroth's words were still full of honey and poison, even if he wasn't a psychotic madman. Backhanded compliments, underlying threats, and an infuriatingly superior attitude that Cloud longed to wipe off his face. He figured he was allowed to at least have less-than-friendly thoughts about the man. Though his agitation was obviously getting to him, because Cloud had a clear mental image of Lazard slumped dead over his desk, blood pooling on the smooth surface. Lazard gave Sephiroth a puzzled look, and the man continued, “The fact remains that he will require specialized training in his new abilities. There is a very real possibility that he could injure someone, or himself, if he's allowed to flounder.”
“He has displayed enhanced abilities?” Lazard asked. At Sephiroth's nod, he sigh faintly. “I see. And this, of course, falls only under the area of the SOLDIER program.”
“I suggest,” Sephiroth offered at a purr, “that to minimize fuss we assign him to Zack.” Cloud had to clench his fists to keep himself under control as his fate was decided over his head. It was logical, and it made sense just to stay quiet and let Zack and…Sephiroth take care of the politics and regulations. That didn't stop the feeling of impetuous helplessness. Cloud was too used to doing things on his own, being forced to handle his problems himself. Yes, he had his friends to back him up, but he was still the leader.
Lazard smiled a polite, political smile. “Yes, I can see why that would be necessary. And you are willing to take on this assignment, correct?” There was something familiar about the head of SOLDIER. Cloud couldn't put his finger on, but the man reminded him of someone else. Perhaps it was the blond hair, which wasn't a common hair color anywhere really. Possibly it was that his attitude reminded Cloud a bit of Reeve. Neither a greedy, corrupt politician like Heidegger or Palmer, nor a ruthless power-grubber like Scarlet.
Zack straightened from his slight slouch. “Yes, sir.”
“Hmm.” Lazard steepled his fingers together and regarded Zack for a moment. “You are aware that we can't allow this to interfere with the rest of your work. Perhaps it would be best if a 2nd Class SOLDIER was assigned to him? Surely it doesn't require the attention of a First.”
“He has shown some signs of aggression,” Sephiroth said, his gaze lifted aloft toward a point above Lazard's head rather than at the man himself. “And Zack is on friendly terms with him. It would be best to allow someone who is an acquaintance with him to watch him in case there are deviations from his normal personality. These are things someone who has never met him would not notice.”
Sharply, Lazard shot back, “You said he was mostly unaffected by the mako?”
Sephiroth didn't deign to answer and after a few seconds of silence Zack spoke up again, “He had a minor case of mako poisoning that lasted for bordering on forty-eight hours, but was otherwise healthy. He was able to endure the march here from Junon just fine.”
“Has his state of health been cleared by one of the scientists or medical staff?”
“He was allowed to leave Junon,” Sephiroth said shortly, tone clipped.
Lazard frowned at him, obviously unmoved by the non-answer, but seemed to realize he'd get nothing more. “I will speak with Heidegger on the matter tomorrow. Be aware that this could take a while.... We've never had a situation such as this, but I can see the necessity of it. I will let you know when the paperwork is done. It should be assumed that he falls under our jurisdiction starting now, however.” He paused a moment, his gaze sliding over the three of them from behind his glasses before he nodded. “I'll let the matter of his health slide for the moment, but once he’s officially a part of the SOLDIER program I will require a full work up.” The mention of the possibility of having to get checked out made Cloud's blood run cold. He wouldn't get any nearer to the science division than he had to, unless he was armed with his sword and allowed to take whatever precautions he found necessary. Beheading Hojo was his favorite.
“Sure thing!” Zack said cheerfully. Sephiroth merely inclined his head and turned to leave without waiting for a dismissal which disrupted the chocobo chick on his boot. It warked in indignation and began to scuttle after him, causing Sephiroth to stop and frown down at it.
Lazard turned a faint smile on Cloud. “I expect we'll be seeing more of each other in the future. Even though you are not a SOLDIER, you will be a proxy of the program until such time you are released back to the regular army. However, if you do well I expect it to be put forward as reason to recruit you into the SOLDIER program proper. Think of this as an...opportunity.” Lazard turned his attention to Zack. “Report in tomorrow morning so we can discuss your last mission in more detail.”
Cloud gave a belated salute as he realized they were dismissed, before turning on his heel to follow Sephiroth out the door, Zack behind him. He crouched down abruptly and sensed Zack nearly trip over him. Cloud ignored that as he activated the Chocobo Lure materia he still had on him to the most powerful lure the sphere had available. The little black chick zipped over to him instantly, warking with delight. He scooped it up peremptorily, rising again in the same movement. He just wanted to get out of this den of wolves, and knew he was sentenced to spend the unforeseeable future trapped among ghosts and demons.
A sideways glance at Zack made him amend the horror of that thought; not all ghosts were bad, at least.
Sephiroth halted before the elevator and pressed the button to call it. When the doors pinged open, he merely looked at Zack for a moment, flicked a glance at Cloud, then stepped inside a second before they closed. Zack sighed and pushed the call button on the other elevator as a strange sort of silence descended on them. When the doors opened he ushered Cloud inside and hit the button for the ground floor. Inside the elevator Cloud shifted the chick to a more secure position. He felt a little bad since the chick was so singularly focused on the materia it looked nearly drugged, but he didn't want to handle its despondence at Sephiroth's absence. Cloud felt a lot better now the that immediate cause of most of his stress was gone.
“I'm not sure what all Sephiroth is planning, but I trust him,” Zack said, pressing a hand over his eyes tiredly. His words made him wonder what Zack did know Sephiroth was planning. Zack had been speaking to Sephiroth privately quite often on their way back to Midgar, though Cloud hadn’t thought much of it. The idea that Sephiroth had plans relating to him was vaguely disturbing. Zack’s continued musings drew him from the thought, for which Cloud was glad. “We have a few more things to do before we can bed down and get some sleep. Like finding your stuff.” He didn't bother answering Zack; within ShinRa walls, Cloud didn't feel safe enough to even hint at his discomfort. Zack didn't seem to mind, almost as if he were thinking aloud. A moment later Zack brought his hand down from his eyes and seemed to have some sort of epiphany. “That's it! Connally, the guy who was with us said he'd been in your squad for awhile. All we have to do is ask after Connally and we should be able to find out where you were bunked.” Cloud was glad someone had a plan.
The elevator opened again, spilling them out into ShinRa's massive entrance hall. There were even fewer people than before. As they hurried through the main floor, Cloud noted people were still staring in their direction. Seeing two filthy people and a chocobo in the pristine walls of the ShinRa building probably wasn't a common occurrence, and Zack was a SOLDIER. He shook his head slightly, glad again for the concealing helmet. All Cloud needed would be for the wrong executive to remember what he looked like, and then not even Sephiroth would be able to save him from Hojo's curiosity. Cloud would put that moment off for as long as he could.
There was a metallic tang to the breeze as they stepped out of the building. Even on top of the plate, nothing would make a dent in the heavy, polluted air that surrounded Midgar in a smog. Cloud wrinkled his nose slightly, and resigned himself to the smell. He was struck by a sudden thought that if Meteor never destroyed Midgar, then maybe this polluted city would continue to spread. Was he really doing the right thing? Hadn't some good come of the future?
It was a moot point now. Cloud was here, and he'd already changed so much with his mere presence. Even if he could go back, did he want to give up what he'd lost all over again? Staring at Zack’s profile as they walked along, Cloud already knew the answer. He had to try. He'd promised himself he'd try to make things better, and if he failed, well, he knew how to end things again. Cloud would never let Sephiroth destroy the world.
"I know you trust him," Cloud said softly, picking up the thread of conversation that he'd let drop earlier. Zack lead them out of the area directly around the ShinRa building and into the brown and gray shadows of Midgar. Cloud kept his gaze on the ground in front of him. He wasn't sure how to express his unease, since Zack's unending optimism couldn't seem to understand that it wasn't easy for Cloud to give Sephiroth another chance. "I…He's your friend, and I can't ask you to just…throw that away because I said it might happen." That was the last thing in the world Cloud wanted. Zack's loyalty to his friends was…it probably meant more to Cloud than it did even to Zack. It was the single reason Cloud was alive, and in the end had probably been Zack’s downfall.
"It's just…I…" Cloud shook his head in frustration, unable to express his reluctance to Zack. "I've had to fight him more times than I can remember. It was…it was only a couple months ago that I had to face him. He's…he never stops, and I’m always afraid of the next time he'll come back. What if I can't stop him again? What if I…fail again?" He shut his mouth, teeth clicking together uncomfortably. Cloud hadn't wanted to turn this into another emotionally charged sob story.
Zack shoved his hands deep into his pockets, features serious, but still wearing a slight smile. “I know Cloud,” he said, “I don't expect you to trust him. I don't even expect you to like him. And don't get me wrong, when I say I trust him I mean I trust him to handle things here and now and take care of all the paper shuffling. I also trust him to act like Sephiroth. I'm not trusting him blindly anymore. The thing is, if I start treating him like a pariah that's only going to push him out of reach. I'm wary, Cloud, I admit that and.... But I'm not going to let that stop me. Whatever may happen he isn't the Sephiroth you knew, and he might never be. He isn't your enemy.
“I don't expect you to get over what you've been through, possibly not ever.” Zack had stopped walking now. They were tucked out of sight in the gray brown, faintly green tinged shadows of the street. The golden orange glow of a street light pooled at the end of the barren causeway they were following. He reached out and placed a hand on Cloud's head, leaned down toward him and grinned. “All I want is for you to remember that he isn't the same man you fought, killed, and from what I'm getting, killed again-which, by the way, you're going to explain to me someday soon. Just like,” here he paused, and seemed to debate with himself for a moment, looking oddly uncomfortable, “I'm not the person you remember.”
Zack fumbled for a moment, brows furrowed with worry above the vibrant blue of his eyes. He pulled his hand back and ran it over his forehead before smoothing over the wild spikes of his hair. He turned away, gesturing expressively with his hands as he went, and said, “Anyway, if nothing else you can trust Sephiroth to stick to the patterns you've already set him to. Until something sets him off there's nothing to worry about. We just have to keep an eye on him.” There was something sardonic in Zack's voice there, as if he were thinking of something particular that Cloud had no notion of. “Besides, it's hard to be intimidated by a man who has a tiny black fuzzball laying claim to his boots.”
Cloud let out a strangled laugh comprised of mingled relief and disbelief. "How can you just…you make everything sound so easy, Zack." He shook his head, Zack's words reverberating in his mind. It was as if Zack had no demands of him, no expectations that Cloud sacrifice himself for the good of the world. The concept was almost too alien to Cloud. For so long, his existence had been tangled up in his sacrifices. To be told it was okay to be selfish was liberating, but didn't stop the welling of guilt at the thought. "I can see that…there's more to him than is apparent." He glanced down at the enraptured bird in his arms, smiling softly. "If I spend more time near him…. I can't guarantee it will get easier. There's…a reaction when I'm near him, that's hard to block out. Part of how he…. But I suppose I should get used to it, right?"
A frown stole the smile off Cloud's face, but it was a frown of thoughtfulness. "I don't know what to do now, though. Now that we have an excuse for me not to attend normal duties…. What will I be expected to do?" He reached his free hand up to tap at his helmet. "I can't continue wearing this, and you know people will begin to recognize me. But I don't want to hide out anywhere, either. There's...there's got to be something I can do now."
“I don't know what we're going to do,” Zack said. “I'm not the tactical genius Sephiroth is, and we can't exactly bring him in on this. Though I'm sure if we did tell him all of our problems with a certain scientist, he would be terminated immediately. He dislikes the man about as much as we do at this point.”
"I took out Hojo once," Cloud mumbled, ducking his chin behind his scarf, "but I'd be happy to do so again." It was a surprise that Sephiroth had such a high antagonism for the scientist, though perhaps it shouldn't have been.
Zack started walking again, hands eventually finding their way back into his pockets. The thud of his boots echoed in the silence around them. “And, you know Cloud...I realize you're worried about all this and want to get moving straight out, but have you ever considered just taking some time to get used to all of this? Letting yourself relax a bit, take it all in.... You know, like a grace period? You're free to do that now, and I'm sure opportunities will present themselves. Until then we can plan until we've got headaches through the mako, and it could all shatter in a few seconds. I'll take you to the SOLDIER floor eventually. I've got some friends there who are good about information. I'm sure if there's anything we can use they'll have heard it long before us.”
Cloud glanced up at Zack's face to be met by a reassuring smile. It had never occurred to him to just…let things happen. He always seemed to be racing two steps behind everything, and now that he was ahead of the proverbial game, Cloud couldn't remember what it was like to just…relax.
The fact that there were other SOLDIERs was another thing that came as a surprise to Cloud. By the time Sephiroth had risen again, they were already almost completely wiped out, only the people's memories of mako-glowing eyes and terror being their legacy. Cloud wasn't sure how much they could be trusted considering that fact, but if Zack thought it was a good idea to use them as resources, then it was probably safe enough.
"I…guess," he said, still unsure that waiting for any time at all was a good plan. "It's…. How long do we have? Nibelheim…it happens at the start of October...." The air currently had a winter chill, but it was possible that the Nibelheim mission was sooner rather than later. Cloud grit his teeth. If it was soon, perhaps the ripples he'd caused would change things so Zack and he wouldn't even be sent along. The thought that Sephiroth wouldn't still be deployed was laughable. Hojo had planned too well for it to fall apart, even when something unexpected came up.
Ahead of them a fence divided one set of this particular sector from another. A gated off entryway stood over the road, with both a foot entrance and one through which vehicles could be driven. Beyond the fence, long, dark, and identical buildings stood in neat, orderly rows, their entrances lit from above by solitary lamps. Closer to them a light glowed from the small, glass booth in which a figure was hunched. From this distance Cloud could hear the faint sound of a static filled radio station reporting something he couldn't make out.
As they came upon the booth, Zack raised his hand to rap on the glass. The guard behind it jerked, and nearly overbalanced from the chair he was settled in and proceeded to gawk at the SOLDIER on the other side. “Hey,” Zack said amiably. “Night shift, I feel for you man. I can't wait to get to bed.” The guard muttered something unintelligible in response. Zack didn't seem to care, and merely carried on, “Look we need to get in, my buddy here has to get his stuff. He's moving to new quarters.” Then, as if he'd only just remembered something. “Oh, yeah, and I need to find a guy named Connally. You think you can point me in the right direction?”
The startled guard fumbled among the mess of glossy magazines on his desk, before turning to the console built nearby. The clack of keys filled the half-darkness and a moment later he muttered, “He, er, appears to be in building 7-B, sir. Room 1-5.”
“Thanks, you're a real help,” Zack said cheerfully. The guard saluted sloppily and nearly fell over again before he managed to hit the button that opened the gate to let them in. Zack strode through and kept walking a ways, his head tilted up to take in the large, blocky numbers and letters painted on the front of the buildings. Once they were out of earshot he waved Cloud closer. “It was December 10th when we shipped out for Mideel, and it's been several days since then. So if things go down next year, and we've got about.... What? Ten, eleven months?”
Cloud gave a soft hum of agreement. There was still time, at least. He almost wasn't sure what he was going to do with that time. Throughout all the time spent battling Sephiroth, Jenova, or just to save the Planet, he and his friends had merely reacted to events. Never had they spent the time to really plan things out, at least not without their plans falling apart to outside forces.
Now he had months to fill up, waiting for the inevitable to happen. It was grating, since Cloud was worried that if he did nothing now, nothing would change then either. Thinking about it, about failing again, sent a chill down his spine. Physically, he'd be able to do it, stop Sephiroth before the madman could begin his schemes again, but mentally…. Cloud would break. Worse than he had from the mako, worse than after Zack's first death, there would be nothing left but a puppet, a body whose only purpose was to follow where the strings pulled. If he wasn’t able to make things right, to save the people he loved, when he had this much advantage...then he was worse than a failure. He wasn’t sure he could survive the guilt a second time.
Cloud blinked as he realized they were no longer walking, and were instead standing in front of a door. Cloud glanced over to find Zack waiting patiently with a bemused smile on his face. He hadn't realized he'd been so distracted. Cloud hoped, belatedly, that Zack hadn't been trying to talk to him. He was too used to being on his own with only his thoughts as company.
Zack would have to take the lead here. Cloud had no idea what sort of things he even owned in this time, so it was better if someone who was honestly ignorant of it asked Connally about it. The inside of the building was just as utilitarian as the outside, though it was slightly brighter; a more gray metallic shade than the gray-brown of the outside. The lights were low runner lights at the base of the walls, giving it an odd greenish glow in the gloom. Each door had block-like numbers on them, large and pale against the dark metal. It wasn't hard to find the fifth door on the first floor.
Zack thumped his fist against the metal. They didn't have to wait long as there was a thump and some curses from beyond the door before it opened and the beleaguered features of the very man they were looking for appeared before them. Whatever Connally had been meaning to say froze on his tongue as he gaped at them. “Cloud? ...S-SOLDIER Fair!”
“Hey, take it easy,” Zack said glibly. “You weren't sleeping yet were you?”
“I'd just started to doze off, but it's alright. Is something the matter, sir?” Connally asked, looking like he would genuinely give up his much wanted sleep if he was needed again.
“Well, Cloud's got to move to new quarters so we came to collect his stuff. If you could just direct me toward it, I'll grab it since he has his hands full,” Zack said with a wave toward the chocobo chick in Cloud's arms, “and get out of your hair so you can sleep.”
Before Connally could say anything else, a gruff voice in the darkness said, “I'll help you, sir,” as a large form jumped down out of one of the bunks. Zack followed the beckoning shadow into the room, leaving Cloud and Connally by the door.
Connally turned to Cloud, wide eyed, and asked in hushed whisper, “D-did they promote you or something?”
Cloud considered the question silently, internally scrambling for what he should say. What would Zack do? …No, that was a dangerous line of thought. Still, Connally was looking at him with genuine worry, and Zack would be back in a minute, so it was up to Cloud what sort of rumors began at this point. The military was the worst gossip he knew of.
"I…am not being promoted, exactly," he said lowly, keeping his voice from carrying any farther than the other trooper. Zack might be able to hear, but there was no problem there. "It's just…my reaction to the mako. They want to make sure I can handle the changes." Hopefully that would be enough to assuage the general curiosity about Cloud's sudden absence. Connally nodded slowly, but still looked worried.
Zack came back out, a duffel bag over one shoulder. Cloud nodded awkwardly to Connally, preparing to follow Zack down the hall again.
"Um…" Connally blurted out, causing Cloud to stop and stare in surprise. "You…take care Cloud. If you need a break, or…yeah. Just…" The trooper shuffled his feet in embarrassment. "We've got your back, alright?"
"…Yeah," Cloud said, unsure where the display of camaraderie stemmed from. He couldn't imagine that loyalty among grunts was all that common, though maybe he was just too biased against ShinRa to realize that it was composed of real people. "Thanks," he added after another moment's pause. It somehow felt inadequate a word, but Cloud had nothing more to offer.
The walk back through the military compound was mostly silent, punctuated only by the muffled sounds of sleepless Midgar and the odd coo from Viri. Zack lead the way, detouring back toward the ShinRa building before heading back into the weave of city streets and around to the entrance to another compound. They passed through a more highly, secured entrance where a 3rd Class SOLDIER on guard duty eagerly greeted Zack-calling him 'Boss'-and let them through. The buildings here looked more like apartment buildings. There were three of them situated at the corners of a vaguely triangular square at the center of which was a monument of the same SOLDIER symbol that was stamped on the front of Zack's harness. They were made of the same dull brown-gray stonework as the rest of the buildings on the plate.
Zack headed straight across the square for the building sitting at the pinnacle of the triangle, and opened the pristine glass door. He ushered Cloud ahead of him, through another set of glass doors which required a key card to open, then lead him to the single elevator waiting beyond. “With all these security measures you'd think we couldn't take care of ourselves,” he muttered to Cloud as he jammed one of the buttons with his thumb. “I mean it's not like the entire building is half full of SOLDIERs or anything.” After he said it, Zack yawned widely and stretched. He nearly dropped the bag of Cloud's things when he waved cheekily at the security camera pointedly watching them from a corner.
Cloud agreed silently with Zack; for a building full of the most enhanced human beings on the Planet, the SOLDIER barracks were far too heavily guarded. He supposed that it was partially that ShinRa valued its lucrative projects more than the gil-a-dozen regular troopers, and also because they did not want the secrets associated with SOLDIER to be accessible to just anyone. SOLDIERs had access to sensitive documents, and not all of them stayed in ShinRa's main building.
The elevator stopped, and Zack lead Cloud out into a hallway that was just about as drab as the one in the rank and file's barracks, though the doors were spaced further along it. The door Zack made his way to looked the same as the rest in the hall, though it didn't have a number on it like the doors in the trooper barracks. Instead it had a small name plate next to it which announced that 1st Class Zack Fair was in residence. There was space beneath Zack's name for another, which was currently empty.
With another swipe of his key card, Zack opened the door to reveal a spartan little room. There were obvious signs of Zack's personality; a television tucked into one corner, a rather comfortable looking couch with a blanket draped haphazardly across it which suggested Zack had a tendency to sleep out here rather than in his room. The low table between the two was covered in a scattering of magazines-a dated copy of Famous Gardens Monthly side by side with a dog eared Craftsman Monthly-loose papers, and a copy of LOVELESS, the cover still bright and glossy and obviously unread. On the far wall a rack for weapons was present, a standard issue SOLDIER long sword taking up one of the spaces. Three doors lead off the tiny room, all three in various states of standing open as if just waiting for the owner of the space to return and take up his daily routine.
The apartment came as a surprise to Cloud. He'd never really sat down and imagined where Zack had lived back in Midgar. Even if he had, he doubted he would have imagined the rather cramped, militaristic accommodations. There were touches of his friend's personality scattered everywhere, though, leaving what normally would have been a cold, plain room that much brighter and lived in.
"Make yourself at home," Zack said as he breezed in. He dropped the duffel bag on the sofa, and proceeded to drop the key card and the contents of his pockets, his cell phone and a few softly glowing materia, onto the surface of the table. Then he turned to face Cloud with a grin somewhere between challenging and teasing. “So, who gets the shower first?”
Zack's injunction for Cloud to 'make himself at home' made him squirm uncomfortably. Tifa had said that, about her 7th Heaven bar. She'd set aside a room just for him, assuring him that it was his home, that he was always welcome. Cloud had tried to make the room his own. Photos from his travels, souvenirs, mechanical junk for Fenrir or his sword used to litter the area, but eventually he hadn't been able to feel comfortable there. The guilt that ate at him made things far too tense, until it became too much. Eventually he'd stripped the room bare, and gone to live in Aerith's church. He'd been unable to find his redemption there, either.
Zack's flippant question was another matter, however. Cloud didn't think he'd ever felt quite so filthy in his life even after dropping into the sewers under Don Corneo's mansion. He glanced around the room again, and spotted an open door that lead to a tiled room, obviously the bathing area. Cloud turned his attention back to his friend, and gave a small smile.
"Flip you for it?" he offered, gesturing to a couple coins Zack had spilled from his pockets onto the table. Zack's grin only widened as he turned to collect one of the coins. Cloud took the opportunity to cross the room swiftly, closing the door to the bathroom just as he heard an outraged cry from Zack. Oh well.
He glanced down at the chick that was still snuggled happily in his arms. The Chocobo Lure was still glowing softly, and Cloud figured this was probably the best place to end the spell. Viri wouldn't be able to escape the room, and the little chick was also covered in grime from the journey over. Marsh mud caked the fluffy down, and it couldn't be comfortable.
With a lick of thought the materia went dark, and Viri shook his head in confusion. Cloud set the chick down, taking a moment to strip off his filthy uniform, anxious to get clean of the road and other unidentifiable grime. Sensing another's gaze on him, Cloud paused in the act of pulling a boot off to look down again at Viri. He found himself caught in the saddest gaze he'd yet experienced; everything about the chick was drooping and pathetic. The chocobo's eyes fixed pleadingly on his own.
"…You have to get clean first. You'll feel better," he mumbled, turning back to his task. He knew that the baby probably didn't understand much human speech, but chocobos were highly intelligent. Both Tifa and Cid had talked to the chocobos as if they understood, and Cloud hadn't seen any indication that they didn't.
A few moments study allowed Cloud to get the shower going, and the immediate relief of warm water made him sigh. Another glance at the bundle of misery still standing disconsolately by the door had him sighing for a different reason, and he padded back over to scoop the chick up. Viri squabbled at the sudden movement, but his irritation subsided as Cloud set him under the running water. The chirps took on a delighted quality, and soon the little bird was splashing happily at his feet.
Over the sound of the running water, Cloud heard the door open and Zack's voice floated to him, “Hey Cloud, I'm putting your bag in here. I figured you might like to have some clothes.” He ignored it all for now, and focused on getting blessedly clean.
Using one hand to towel off his hair, Cloud stepped out of the shower, significantly cleaner and much more relaxed. He felt a splattering of water on his legs, and looked down to see Viri fluffed up as he shook out the water from himself. The little bird's black fluff settled down, but still stood out and made the chick look rounder than normal. Cloud grinned slightly at the sight, nudging the chick out of the way as he strode to the bag by the door.
He'd half expected Zack to withhold his clothes completely, but apparently his friend was more mature than to retaliate to Cloud's trick. Cloud let the towel drape over his shoulder as he rummaged through the duffel bag for something to wear. Eventually he pulled out some cotton pants and a t-shirt. Once dressed, he hefted the bag to his shoulder, checked to be sure his feet were clear of the hyperactive fluffball, then exited the bathroom.
Zack had sprawled out on the couch, Buster Sword across his lap and cleaning equipment in hand. Cloud hesitated, feeling suddenly extremely childish for his actions. His friend had covered for him, gave him a safe place to stay, and Cloud was being ungrateful for that.
"Sorry," he said, glancing down and away from the couch. "The…I'm finished, if you want to go in." He felt foolish for stating the obvious, but he didn't know how to handle Zack in such a normal situation. There was no one to fight, no one to hide from. For a moment he feared that Zack too would see Cloud for the failure he was, now that there was nothing else to hide behind. He shoved the feeling aside, but worry settled in his stomach like a lead ball.
Zack gave a last swipe of the cloth he was using to clean the enormous sword, a look of satisfaction on his face before he looked up at Cloud and beamed. “Don't worry about it. I would have done the same thing to you if I'd thought about it,” he teased.
He stood up and walked over to the wall where the longsword hung. Almost reverently, Zack settled Buster Sword onto the hooks obviously meant for it, then stepped back. For a moment he merely stood there, looking at the sword with an odd, wistful, half smile on his face and a shadow in his expression. His fingers lingered, just barely touching the blade while his gaze flickered over it, examining it. When Zack stepped away his expression immediately shifted to one of reflecting his usual boundless energy, though tinged by the dark smudges of exhaustion.
“You'd think that water would make your hair less crazy,” Zack noted, amusement underlying his tone thickly. Zack glanced down at the puffed up chick that leaned dourly against Cloud's legs. “Well, anyway, I got that room,” he gestured toward the open door, “ready for you while you were showering.” Zack disappeared into his own room for a moment. When he reappeared he made a bee-line for the bathroom. He paused just at the door, and looked back at Cloud with an easy, friendly smile. “I'll see you in the morning. Night, Cloud.”
Cloud lingered for another minute, staring blankly at the door Zack had disappeared behind. Then he shook his head slightly, shaking further sullen thoughts out of his mind, and padded over to the door Zack had indicated as where he'd be staying. The room was bare, and he wondered for a moment why no one else had been assigned here since the facility was obviously intended for two. The bed was built right into the wall, a couple of drawers for storage in the space underneath it. Another set of drawers lined the head board area, a storage locker above them, and a niche with a bare desk had been built across from the bed, a chair sitting tucked up against it.
The bag made a dull thump against the floor as Cloud set it down next to the bed. Possibly he should unpack it to the drawers intended for that purpose, but suddenly he was struck by the fatigue of the last few days. He ran a hand tiredly through his hair before giving up and flopping face down into the pillow on the bed. It was a hard, mass-produced fare, but Cloud had slept on much worse over the years.
An imperious wark from the floor made him stir, and he propped himself on an elbow to peer over the edge of the bed. Viri warked again at him, flapping his tiny wings in a demand for attention. Cloud gave the chick a small frown even as he reached over to scoop it onto the bed with him. He dropped onto his side again, watching Viri stumble on the yielding surface of the mattress.
"What am I supposed to do with you, anyway?" he asked the bird quietly. Viri ignored him, traipsing to Cloud's side before sitting down, tucking his legs under himself and snuggling against Cloud's ribs. Cloud ignored the ticklish feeling on his stomach, bringing a hand over to pet at the soft down, still damp from the shower, again. He never even felt himself fall asleep.
Part 2