Babysitting (Barmy Prompts)
Prompt: Ron and Hermione are playing Frozen. Ron gets upset because he never gets to be Elsa. Hermione always makes him be Anna as she lords it up as Elsa. Harry is sulking in the corner because he wants to play The Lion King and nobody else does.
Rated PG-13 for swearing.
Thanks to otterandterrier for the help.
Hermione takes playing Frozen way too seriously.
“Well, it’s hardly my fault, you two always gang up on me! I never get my way.”
Hermione raised a perfectly arched eyebrow in utter disbelief.
“I hardly think so! Because, quite honestly, sometimes Ron seems more like your boyfriend than mine. You two are the ones who always take each others’ sides and gang up on me! Besides the children obviously prefer my idea.”
“Ugh, you know what, I give up! We’ll play Frozen! Again!” Harry yelled back.
“Thank you, Harry,” she replied, smiling sweetly at him. “Now, Ron, you can be Anna and I will be Elsa, Harry can be-“
“Wait, hold on! Why do you always get to be Elsa? I’d like to be Elsa once in a while too, you know. Back me up here, mate!” Ron turned to Harry.
But he threw up his hands. “Keep me out of this, I’d much rather be Simba than Olaf, but since when have you cared about that?”
“You’re both being childish,” said Hermione, folding her arms and giving them a superior look.
“Hermione, the whole idea of playing Frozen is childish,” retorted Ron.
“Well, the children want it-“
“Oh, the children want it!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Harry tuned them out, and put his head in his hands. He’d heard all of this a hundred times before, and it was always the same. Usually, it only lasted a few minutes before decide to put their differences aside in favour of badgering him into going along with one of their hare brained schemes. But it had been more than a few minutes now, and neither of them showed any signs of backing down. And today, surrounded by a whole pack of hyperactive children, it was especially nerve-wracking for him to simultaneously keep all the kids in check single-handedly. There was a reason why this was a three person job, after all.
He had just brought two year old Molly back to the reading table from Mrs. Weasley’s ribbon drawer, where she had managed to completely unravel several of them, when he spotted Dominique climbing up a chair to reach the plate of pumpkin pasties on the kitchen counter. He let out an audible sigh and decided to turn a blind eye for now.
Instead, he concentrated on removing Victoire from Teddy’s vicinity, who looked instantly relieved and cast a grateful look at Harry. But Victoire was having none of it.
“Uncle Harry, I want to sit next to Teddy! He has all the purple crayons!” she whined.
“Well, you should have thought of that before deciding to dump glue in his hair, Victoire. Why would he want you to sit next to you after that?” She turned up her nose at him and stabbed at her colouring sheet with an orange crayon.
Harry shook his head and went to retrieve Dominique from the kitchen counter when he heard a wail from the other room. Hoping one of the bickering pair will see to little James, he continued wiping Dominique’s face and took her back to the other children. James continued to cry, but neither Ron nor Hermione paid him any mind.
Exasperated, Harry decided to step in.
“Oi, do either of you mind giving me a hand here?”
“Harry, we’re only trying to come up with something to help! They will all sit quietly if we perform for them. My parents used to put on these little skits and it was fabulous. I could sit and listen to them sing forever. They’ll love it!”
“James is crying,” Ron added unnecessarily.
Giving them a sour look, Harry went to soothe baby James. He wished Ginny didn’t have to attend that meet today, but he hadn’t thought it would be such a horrid day. He’d babysat with Ron and Hermione before, and it was usually fun. But he’d been in a foul mood for weeks now because of the lack of sleep. And his best friends had been getting on his nerves all day. Not to mention the fact that he was quite sick of that blasted movie and the songs. They were everywhere, Ginny watched it every other day, and broke out in song at every opportunity. He was sure that if he heard let it go one more time, he might pull out his hair.
“Fine! Be bloody Elsa! Let’s just get on with-“ came Ron’s loud voice.
“Ron!” Hermione gasped. But it was too late.
“Bloody?” Kids had an odd ability to pick out exactly the wrong words, and Molly had a particular knack for it.
“Bloody, bloody, bloody,” she said.
“Shite,” Ron exclaimed.
“Ron!” Hermione cried again.
“Bloody shite! Bloody shite!” Molly repeated gleefully.
“Bloody shitte,” Victoire joined in.
“No, no! Don’t!” Ron looked horror-struck. “Great! Now both Percy and Bill will kill me.”
“And whose fault would that be,” Hermione replied, but softened at the pleading look on his face.
“Kids! How would you like to play Frozen?” she asked the room, in an attempt to distract them from the new words they'd discovered.
“Yes, yes!” the children chorused back at her.
“Bloody shite, I would!” Molly chimed in.
Ron groaned.
Harry rolled his eyes.
But Hermione was already wrapping a blue sheet around her shoulders. Wearing it like a cape, she commanded Ron to start singing.
“Uh…” he looked at all the eager little faces staring up at him. James had stopped crying, and Harry quickly put a silencing spell around him so he wouldn’t have to listen to Ron’s awful singing.
“Go on, Ron,” said Hermione, nodding in what she probably thought was encouragement.
“Um, right,” Ron nodded back.
“Do you want to build a snowmaaaan,” he sang, sounding horribly off-key.
“Silly Uncle Ron! There’s no snow outside,” giggled Victoire. But Ron ploughed on.
“Do you want to build a snowmaaaan? Come on, let’s go and plaaaaay. I never see you anymore, come out the room-“
“It’s door, Ron. Not room! Honestly, you mess it up everytime!” Hermione interjected. He glared at her but continued singing.
“We used to be best friends, but now we’re not,”
“Buddies! Here, let me do it, Ron. Nobody cares about Anna anyway.” She pushed Ron aside while he spluttered indignantly, and twirled her cape.
However, before she could start singing, Ron cut in and stood in front of her.
“Do you want to build a snowmaaan? It doesn’t have to be a snowmaaan,” he warbled.
“You’re making me be Anna, Hermione. So, I’m going to be the best bloody Anna there is!” he informed her in an undertone. Turning back, he belted out more discordant, jumbled up lyrics, piecing together fragments of different songs.
“Do you want to ride our brooms around the haaaaalls? I think some company is overdue, I’ve started talking to the waaaaalls.”
“Ron, you’re messing it all up!”
“I know you’re in theeeeere, people are asking where you’ve beeeeen,” he crooned, ignoring Hermione's corrections.
The children all watched open mouthed, enchanted by the train-wreck in front of them.
“We only have each other, just you and meeeee, do you wanna build a snowmaaaaan,” he sang earnestly. “Harry, mate, come on. Join me!”
Harry, although still upset about not having his way, couldn’t help but sing along with him. They pranced around the room, practically shoving Hermione into the couch.
“For the first time in foreveeeer, there’ll be music, there’ll be liiiiight, don’t know if I’m elated or gassy…”
The kids giggled.
“Isn’t it crazy!” Harry joined in.
“What?”
“How we finish each others-“
“Sandwiches!”
“That’s what I was gonna saaaay. I never met someone who thinks so much like meee,” they sang together with arms around each other’s shoulders and huge grins on their faces, swaying like drunken fools.
“Can I say something crazy?” Harry sang, kneeling on one knee in front of Ron. “Will you marry me?”
But this seemed to be Hermione's breaking point.
“Alright! It’s Elsa’s turn!” she declared and went to reclaim her stage, which was just the floor of the living room.
“Go sit down with your boyfriend, Ronald,” she said icily, and turned to her audience.
Giving her sullen looks, Harry and Ron went and took their seats beside the children. Hermione proceeded to sing melodiously. She was almost as good as the original singer, thought Harry.
“Snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen. A kingdom of isolatiooon-“
“And it looks like I’m queeeen,” Victoire joined in.
“Um, no honey, I’m singing,” Hermione told her.
“The wind is howling like this swirling storm insiiide, couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I triieeed.”
“Don’t let them in, don’t let them see,” this time she was joined by Teddy’s voice.
“Teddy-“ she tried to interrupt, but Molly was already singing the next verse.
“What?” Hermione looked quite bewildered. Clearly the children had all heard this song one too many times and knew it by heart, as they all joined in. Several different voices roared ‘let it go’ all at once. Hermione, giving up, sang along with the kids. She was soon joined by Ron and Harry as they all sang in unison at the top of their voices.
And when Molly Weasley walked in the kitchen door a few minutes later, heaving large bags from her shopping trip at Diagon Alley, she was greeted by a cacophony of sounds of all ranges and belonging to all ages.
“Every single time,” she whispered to herself softly, hoping against hope that they had managed not to teach the kids any more swear words.
Rated PG-13 for swearing.
Thanks to otterandterrier for the help.
Hermione takes playing Frozen way too seriously.
“Well, it’s hardly my fault, you two always gang up on me! I never get my way.”
Hermione raised a perfectly arched eyebrow in utter disbelief.
“I hardly think so! Because, quite honestly, sometimes Ron seems more like your boyfriend than mine. You two are the ones who always take each others’ sides and gang up on me! Besides the children obviously prefer my idea.”
“Ugh, you know what, I give up! We’ll play Frozen! Again!” Harry yelled back.
“Thank you, Harry,” she replied, smiling sweetly at him. “Now, Ron, you can be Anna and I will be Elsa, Harry can be-“
“Wait, hold on! Why do you always get to be Elsa? I’d like to be Elsa once in a while too, you know. Back me up here, mate!” Ron turned to Harry.
But he threw up his hands. “Keep me out of this, I’d much rather be Simba than Olaf, but since when have you cared about that?”
“You’re both being childish,” said Hermione, folding her arms and giving them a superior look.
“Hermione, the whole idea of playing Frozen is childish,” retorted Ron.
“Well, the children want it-“
“Oh, the children want it!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Harry tuned them out, and put his head in his hands. He’d heard all of this a hundred times before, and it was always the same. Usually, it only lasted a few minutes before decide to put their differences aside in favour of badgering him into going along with one of their hare brained schemes. But it had been more than a few minutes now, and neither of them showed any signs of backing down. And today, surrounded by a whole pack of hyperactive children, it was especially nerve-wracking for him to simultaneously keep all the kids in check single-handedly. There was a reason why this was a three person job, after all.
He had just brought two year old Molly back to the reading table from Mrs. Weasley’s ribbon drawer, where she had managed to completely unravel several of them, when he spotted Dominique climbing up a chair to reach the plate of pumpkin pasties on the kitchen counter. He let out an audible sigh and decided to turn a blind eye for now.
Instead, he concentrated on removing Victoire from Teddy’s vicinity, who looked instantly relieved and cast a grateful look at Harry. But Victoire was having none of it.
“Uncle Harry, I want to sit next to Teddy! He has all the purple crayons!” she whined.
“Well, you should have thought of that before deciding to dump glue in his hair, Victoire. Why would he want you to sit next to you after that?” She turned up her nose at him and stabbed at her colouring sheet with an orange crayon.
Harry shook his head and went to retrieve Dominique from the kitchen counter when he heard a wail from the other room. Hoping one of the bickering pair will see to little James, he continued wiping Dominique’s face and took her back to the other children. James continued to cry, but neither Ron nor Hermione paid him any mind.
Exasperated, Harry decided to step in.
“Oi, do either of you mind giving me a hand here?”
“Harry, we’re only trying to come up with something to help! They will all sit quietly if we perform for them. My parents used to put on these little skits and it was fabulous. I could sit and listen to them sing forever. They’ll love it!”
“James is crying,” Ron added unnecessarily.
Giving them a sour look, Harry went to soothe baby James. He wished Ginny didn’t have to attend that meet today, but he hadn’t thought it would be such a horrid day. He’d babysat with Ron and Hermione before, and it was usually fun. But he’d been in a foul mood for weeks now because of the lack of sleep. And his best friends had been getting on his nerves all day. Not to mention the fact that he was quite sick of that blasted movie and the songs. They were everywhere, Ginny watched it every other day, and broke out in song at every opportunity. He was sure that if he heard let it go one more time, he might pull out his hair.
“Fine! Be bloody Elsa! Let’s just get on with-“ came Ron’s loud voice.
“Ron!” Hermione gasped. But it was too late.
“Bloody?” Kids had an odd ability to pick out exactly the wrong words, and Molly had a particular knack for it.
“Bloody, bloody, bloody,” she said.
“Shite,” Ron exclaimed.
“Ron!” Hermione cried again.
“Bloody shite! Bloody shite!” Molly repeated gleefully.
“Bloody shitte,” Victoire joined in.
“No, no! Don’t!” Ron looked horror-struck. “Great! Now both Percy and Bill will kill me.”
“And whose fault would that be,” Hermione replied, but softened at the pleading look on his face.
“Kids! How would you like to play Frozen?” she asked the room, in an attempt to distract them from the new words they'd discovered.
“Yes, yes!” the children chorused back at her.
“Bloody shite, I would!” Molly chimed in.
Ron groaned.
Harry rolled his eyes.
But Hermione was already wrapping a blue sheet around her shoulders. Wearing it like a cape, she commanded Ron to start singing.
“Uh…” he looked at all the eager little faces staring up at him. James had stopped crying, and Harry quickly put a silencing spell around him so he wouldn’t have to listen to Ron’s awful singing.
“Go on, Ron,” said Hermione, nodding in what she probably thought was encouragement.
“Um, right,” Ron nodded back.
“Do you want to build a snowmaaaan,” he sang, sounding horribly off-key.
“Silly Uncle Ron! There’s no snow outside,” giggled Victoire. But Ron ploughed on.
“Do you want to build a snowmaaaan? Come on, let’s go and plaaaaay. I never see you anymore, come out the room-“
“It’s door, Ron. Not room! Honestly, you mess it up everytime!” Hermione interjected. He glared at her but continued singing.
“We used to be best friends, but now we’re not,”
“Buddies! Here, let me do it, Ron. Nobody cares about Anna anyway.” She pushed Ron aside while he spluttered indignantly, and twirled her cape.
However, before she could start singing, Ron cut in and stood in front of her.
“Do you want to build a snowmaaan? It doesn’t have to be a snowmaaan,” he warbled.
“You’re making me be Anna, Hermione. So, I’m going to be the best bloody Anna there is!” he informed her in an undertone. Turning back, he belted out more discordant, jumbled up lyrics, piecing together fragments of different songs.
“Do you want to ride our brooms around the haaaaalls? I think some company is overdue, I’ve started talking to the waaaaalls.”
“Ron, you’re messing it all up!”
“I know you’re in theeeeere, people are asking where you’ve beeeeen,” he crooned, ignoring Hermione's corrections.
The children all watched open mouthed, enchanted by the train-wreck in front of them.
“We only have each other, just you and meeeee, do you wanna build a snowmaaaaan,” he sang earnestly. “Harry, mate, come on. Join me!”
Harry, although still upset about not having his way, couldn’t help but sing along with him. They pranced around the room, practically shoving Hermione into the couch.
“For the first time in foreveeeer, there’ll be music, there’ll be liiiiight, don’t know if I’m elated or gassy…”
The kids giggled.
“Isn’t it crazy!” Harry joined in.
“What?”
“How we finish each others-“
“Sandwiches!”
“That’s what I was gonna saaaay. I never met someone who thinks so much like meee,” they sang together with arms around each other’s shoulders and huge grins on their faces, swaying like drunken fools.
“Can I say something crazy?” Harry sang, kneeling on one knee in front of Ron. “Will you marry me?”
But this seemed to be Hermione's breaking point.
“Alright! It’s Elsa’s turn!” she declared and went to reclaim her stage, which was just the floor of the living room.
“Go sit down with your boyfriend, Ronald,” she said icily, and turned to her audience.
Giving her sullen looks, Harry and Ron went and took their seats beside the children. Hermione proceeded to sing melodiously. She was almost as good as the original singer, thought Harry.
“Snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen. A kingdom of isolatiooon-“
“And it looks like I’m queeeen,” Victoire joined in.
“Um, no honey, I’m singing,” Hermione told her.
“The wind is howling like this swirling storm insiiide, couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I triieeed.”
“Don’t let them in, don’t let them see,” this time she was joined by Teddy’s voice.
“Teddy-“ she tried to interrupt, but Molly was already singing the next verse.
“What?” Hermione looked quite bewildered. Clearly the children had all heard this song one too many times and knew it by heart, as they all joined in. Several different voices roared ‘let it go’ all at once. Hermione, giving up, sang along with the kids. She was soon joined by Ron and Harry as they all sang in unison at the top of their voices.
And when Molly Weasley walked in the kitchen door a few minutes later, heaving large bags from her shopping trip at Diagon Alley, she was greeted by a cacophony of sounds of all ranges and belonging to all ages.
“Every single time,” she whispered to herself softly, hoping against hope that they had managed not to teach the kids any more swear words.