And now-- a song!!
So, I rewrote some Gilbert and Sullivan lyrics to the tune of Final Fantasy Tactics. The sordid result is posted below.
DELITA
I am the very model of a Holy Knight of Ivalice
I've got my oaths and vows and allegiances quite frivolous
My sword is sharp, my wits are keen, my grand ambitions various--
From those batt'ling Dukes to the crown and the Church nefarious.
I've mastered ev'ry job class, and perfected all the arts martial
Though towards bloodless usurpations, I'll admit I'm rather partial
But to ensure the future of our great and glorious nation
I'll slit a few throats gladly, and resort to assassination.
CHORUS
He'll slit a few throats gladly, etc.
DELITA
For when it comes oaths and my allegiances quite frivolous
I am the very model of a Holy Knight of Ivalice
This next do I swear upon murder'd Tietra's baseborn blood
Après moi, le déluge: to fight the current I'll become the flood:
Then they'll see the truth behind my allegiances quite frivolous
That I'm the very model of a Holy Knight of Ivalice.
For my wretched, warsick homeland I have a blameless vision
Of a peace long-lasting, equality, and freedom from division
The cries of the common and oppressed have too long gone ignored
I mean to crown their pleas with fire's blaze and point of sword
So I shall plot and plan and devise inductions dangerous
To triumph I must free myself from moral questions onerous:
My hard-fought dream can rise only from the ashes of betrayals
Have you seen how cool I look in the new FMV portrayals?
CHORUS
Have you seen how cool, etc?
DELITA
Whilst the Templars and the Cardinal invoke strange pow'rs abyssian
I will wrest from them the throne, making monologues O. Smithian.
For though my oaths and vows and chivalry's quite frivolous
They'll say there's never been a finer Holy Knight of Ivalice.
RAMZA
Can you not see, Delita, that your actions have a human cost?
If you become all that you've ever hated, then the battle's lost!
DELITA
I'm sorry Ramza, but don't blame me, blame yourself or Square:
If you were meant to be more popular, they'd give you spikey hair.
And so, my darling Ovelia, if you would just take this ring-
Good-bye Ramza, my friend, and as they say, 'Long live the king!'
For despite my oaths and vows and allegiances quite frivolous
I am the very model of a Holy Knight of Ivalice.
DELITA
I am the very model of a Holy Knight of Ivalice
I've got my oaths and vows and allegiances quite frivolous
My sword is sharp, my wits are keen, my grand ambitions various--
From those batt'ling Dukes to the crown and the Church nefarious.
I've mastered ev'ry job class, and perfected all the arts martial
Though towards bloodless usurpations, I'll admit I'm rather partial
But to ensure the future of our great and glorious nation
I'll slit a few throats gladly, and resort to assassination.
CHORUS
He'll slit a few throats gladly, etc.
DELITA
For when it comes oaths and my allegiances quite frivolous
I am the very model of a Holy Knight of Ivalice
This next do I swear upon murder'd Tietra's baseborn blood
Après moi, le déluge: to fight the current I'll become the flood:
Then they'll see the truth behind my allegiances quite frivolous
That I'm the very model of a Holy Knight of Ivalice.
For my wretched, warsick homeland I have a blameless vision
Of a peace long-lasting, equality, and freedom from division
The cries of the common and oppressed have too long gone ignored
I mean to crown their pleas with fire's blaze and point of sword
So I shall plot and plan and devise inductions dangerous
To triumph I must free myself from moral questions onerous:
My hard-fought dream can rise only from the ashes of betrayals
Have you seen how cool I look in the new FMV portrayals?
CHORUS
Have you seen how cool, etc?
DELITA
Whilst the Templars and the Cardinal invoke strange pow'rs abyssian
I will wrest from them the throne, making monologues O. Smithian.
For though my oaths and vows and chivalry's quite frivolous
They'll say there's never been a finer Holy Knight of Ivalice.
RAMZA
Can you not see, Delita, that your actions have a human cost?
If you become all that you've ever hated, then the battle's lost!
DELITA
I'm sorry Ramza, but don't blame me, blame yourself or Square:
If you were meant to be more popular, they'd give you spikey hair.
And so, my darling Ovelia, if you would just take this ring-
Good-bye Ramza, my friend, and as they say, 'Long live the king!'
For despite my oaths and vows and allegiances quite frivolous
I am the very model of a Holy Knight of Ivalice.