Willow Sample (S7)
She...was gone. Just like that. The blink of an eye and she was gone. My Tara. My light. My rock. My...My everything. And just when things were like starting to look up too. Isn't that just typical? Get a little happy and bang! Gone. Bang. Oh god. Bang. That's what took her away for sure. A bang. Though, we didn't hear it until it was to late.
"Your shirt"
I was a totally bad Willow. Bad, bad Willow. No cookie for you! I killed. For her. If she knew, she'd never want to see me again. So wouldn't even want to know me. I know it, I just know it. It was wrong, I can totally see that now. But I was seeing red after she died. We didn't even get to say goodbye. Nothing. Nothing at all. Buffy would have been dead too if I hadn't brought her back. Again. Had I been wrong to do that too? I...I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.
I'm afraid. I'm so afraid and lost and...lonely.
Then Giles was there.
"Uh oh. Daddy's home."
Rage, I was feeling such a *rage*. He was being all with the trying to be reasonable. I didn't want to be reasonable. I wanted them to hurt as much as I was hurting. That's when it all went wrong. I hurt Giles, I hurt Dawn. I hurt Buffy. I killed...Warren. Flayed him alive. Flayed. God, how much lower could I sink? Pathetic much?
And in the end it was Xander who got through to me. With his stupid speech about yellow crayons. I don't know if that's what did the trick, but it paused me. Yellow crayons. I was so close to ending the world. Can still feel the power surging through me. Frightening to me. Frightening to others. Xander stopped me from doing such a horrible thing. Him and his yellow crayons. Who knew that I'd end up as the big bad one day?
Not me! That's for sure.
And there I was. In some English meadow near the covent Giles yanked me off too. To learn to handle my magic, he said. They're afraid of me here. Of my power, of what I have done. And I'm lost. So lost and lonely. Numb. Everything is numb but the pain in my heart. The hole left behind by Tara. Right next to the one left there by Oz. Tara's was bigger though. I doubt it'll ever heal over. Never.
And then it was time to go...home.
Sighing, I stared out the window as we drove back to Sunnydale. It been a long couple of months in England but I felt in control now. Felt like I had a grip on the magic. The hard thing to do now though was facing my friends. Giles said that they weren’t mad and they were happy that I was gonna come home again. I swallowed the tears that threatened to escape as the landscape swished by. I was so not going to cry again. All that got me was a sore throat and a headache. I'm not up for another headachy day. But what was I up for? Nothing. I just wanted to sit here till Giles and I would get home. Home. Didn’t really feel like home no more.