[filk] Hookerverse, the Musical

[fiandyfic]

TITLE: The Ballad of Sam Tyler
AUTHOR: fiandyfic
FANDOM: Life on Mars
SUMMARY: Hookerverse, the Musical.
RATING: Red Cortina for brain-breakage
WORD COUNT: 245
EMAIL: fiandyfic@livejournal.com
AUTHOR’S NOTES: Part of the Hookerverse. Dedicated, with love resignation, to the meerkats.
DISCLAIMER: Life on Mars is copyright Kudos and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made.

The Ballad of Sam Tyler

to the tune of "The Wild Rover"

I was a policeman just only last fall,
Then I threw it away when I jumped off a wall.
I looked at some files, but Phyllis was bent,
Now Gene flogs my arse just to cover the rent.

And it's no nay, never, in Lost and Found!
No nay never no more,
Will I be a good copper,
No never no more.

I went to a nightclub I used to frequent,
And when I was finished, by God I was bent.
I sucked off old Charlie, then he sucked off me,
And then Mrs. Phelps caught me down on my knees.

And it's no nay, never, with Scott and Ben!
No nay never no more,
Will I be a cocksucker,
No never no more.

I'm known in the business as a really good lay,
According to Phyllis and also to Ray.
But if you would ask me why I seem so keen,
I never will tell you - I'm thinking of Gene.

And it's no nay, never, especially with Gene!
No nay never no more,
Will I be a sad fucker,
No never no more.

And now that my tale is nigh almost done,
I hope that you readers have had you some fun.
But will it end happy or will it end sad?
Consider who's writing - it's bound to end bad.

And it's no nay, never, twisted and sick!
No nay never no more,
Will I read Fi and Andy,
No never no more!


Velvet Underground the Musical

I made me a promise that made Ruth Tyler sad,
And she locked me downstairs for being so bad,
She chained me in cellar to keep as a toy,
Now I really can say that I am Mummy's boy.