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awake
painpainpainpainpainpain
oh hai stress!
stresspainstresspainstresspainstresspain
3 am, tired, sleepy, unable to sleep. This is the sort of night that adds depression to the mix. Maybe if I lay down in the dark for a while longer I can fall asleep around 8. -
Symptoms and side effects
I had three really good days last week. I keep having the depressing thought of "what if that's all I get?" Those were the best days, symptom-wise, since all of this started. Now, everything is worse again ( Read more... ) -
Rambling ...
I have no idea how to start this, but it's going to be public. I've had a bad emotional day. Normally, she would make me feel better just hearing her voice. Tonight, I hung up on her. I didn't even manage to tell her I loved her. Neither of those have ever happened before ( Read more... ) -
Why can't I ever get *good* news?
The oncologist once again comes through with bad news ( Read more... ) -
Let's talk about health ...
I'm awake and have been for over an hour. I haven't had enough sleep, but I woke up in pain and haven't managed to get back to sleep after reducing the pain somewhat with Advil. My mind is racing and my anxieties are high, so even though I've talked this over constantly with people I care about, I'll try to write it down and see if it helps ( Read more... ) -
I should have ...
I should have gone to NWRE. I'm feeling so lonely lately that even a set of games that I wouldn't enjoy (Lost being the exception) with people I care about would have helped. Kim is sick and not really company-prepared and bringing her here would have the same issues. Voice just isn't doing it, though. I'm lonely, trapped and bored. -
Internet Hoaxes
I'm losing respect for people I know. Why is it so difficult to read a statement like "don't open email with xx subject" or "Facebook is going to charge us!!! FOR REALZ!!! Yes, it was a hoax last year, but this time we reallyreally means it!!!!" and look it up on Google and/or snopes? You don't even have to type! Just copy the stupidity into ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
How is it that I can have a job that is going well, coworkers and bosses that like me, a nice apartment with good roommates, and still feel like I am stupid and that the world is caving in on me? -
Daddy issues
My father tracked me down via email. I hold grudges, and literally starving while he avoided child support (and supported a second family) has kept this grudge for decades. I responded by noting that "r" and "u" are letters, not words. I am now considered to have turned out to be big asshole who should ... die. In all caps. I think he is finally ( Read more... )