Come Around (2/?)
Rating: NC-17 for language, sex, and some very mild violence
Word Count: 8657 in this chapter
Category: AU, after “The Bitch is Back”
Characters/Pairings: Veronica, Logan, Keith, Parker, Dick, Logan/Veronica, slight Veronica/Piz, Logan/OFC, slight Veronica/OMC, some merry Neptune residents
Spoilers: Up to 3.20 “The Bitch is Back.”
Disclaimer: The characters were created by Rob Thomas and remain the property of Thomas, the CW, and Warner Bros. Television. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Special Thanks: To the betas of this fic, afrocurl and solflower22, who are so very patient with me while I struggle with this monster (currently 100 pages and counting!). Any and all mistakes after their betas are my own.
Dedication: Once again, the main reason this is being posted now is all because of smiles1_9's charity. THANK HER.
Summary: Somehow, she didn’t think telling her dad that she was getting ready for The Great Escape, Part Two was the best way to start any conversation.
Carmen was using one of his couches as a trampoline and Logan would seriously have found it to be cute and strangely hot if he wasn’t so pissed off.
She showed up at one in the morning with a bag of champagne bottles from Chasm, as well as some of those excellent spinach rolls that might convince him to invest in the restaurant after all. He had played coy and even held up his laptop for her viewing pleasure, but, frankly, he couldn’t resist the cherries and silk ties she pulled out of the bag.
His eyes followed as she danced on the white couch, sipping on a bottle of champagne and loudly singing along to the Rihanna CD she had slipped into his stereo earlier. A smile perked on his lips as he saluted her sly seduction routine- food, drink, and a sheer boy shorts and tank combo. The red lips didn't hurt, either.
Logan had to give it to Carmen Ruiz- she was never desperate. She had kissed him hello just twenty minutes earlier, then refused to touch him since bouncing on the couch seemed a lot more appealing, he supposed. It was refreshing. Usually, girls jumped him the second they waltzed in, wearing nothing under their jackets. Yet, Carmen undressed in front of him, paying him no mind as she opened up that bottle of champagne.
Foreplay like this was awesome. He loved the chase.
Logan didn’t know who he was kidding- it wasn’t like their “thing” was remotely special anymore. She had slept over far too many times to count. He was her rebound guy, after all. Carmen’s taste in men hadn’t improved after that Tad shithead, so she looked for comfort in a familiar face.
Truth be told, he never thought he would ever fuck Carmen Ruiz. Yes, she had been a resident hottie at Neptune High, but, like Meg Manning before her, had been untouchable. They had hung out, even paired up for classes, but he never thought of her like that. Even after the whole Popsicle debacle, he had kept his distance.
Then, years passed and he ran into her at Chasm. She a waitress and he a patron. Their first time was an accident- a random go on the beach after too many beers and other alcoholic beverages. He wasn’t drunk, but she was inviting, so he gave in.
Surprisingly, he enjoyed her company, and even offered to beat up her shitty boyfriend. She had laughed, and it was enough for him.
Deep down, he appreciated the friendship that came with his thing with Carmen. It really wasn’t just sex, they were legitimately friends. He always looked out for her, and she had his back just the same. She never expected anything in return, and that alone made her different than ninety percent of the girls who tried to get into his bedroom.
Ultimately, Carmen Ruiz was cool. He liked how chill she was about everything, they never needed to have long conversations about their feelings. It was wonderful.
But Carmen wasn’t the reason why he was so angry.
“Enjoying yourself?” Logan called over the music, propping his feet up on the coffee table in front of his large couch.
She nodded, halting her dance for just a moment. “Dying yet?”
He smirked. “Take off your shirt and we’ll see.”
Carmen rolled her eyes, leaning over towards the cherry bowl, resting on the couch arm. She flung a cherry at him before continuing her dance.
Logan chuckled, catching the cherry before it could hit him, and tossed it into his mouth. “I’m expecting some serious fun soon,” he warned her.
“Patience is a virtue...” she sang quietly.
Of course, overanalyzing his relationship with Carmen was just a cover. Their thing was just that. Nothing more, nothing less.
But it kept him from thinking about Veronica Mars.
The revolving thoughts were what pissed him off. He didn’t need the drama that followed that girl around. He didn’t need the drama that inevitably smacked him in the face when he was around her. For years, he had done everything differently, had relationships that were the exact opposite of the one he had with her, just to avoid the pain and the heartache that came with being around Veronica Mars.
He just wanted to move on. And yet, after nearly ten years, she had found him without even trying.
She was still as beautiful as ever, if a bit worn. She had gained a bit of weight in all the right places, and her hair was still long and soft. She still smelled wonderfully. She still had a smile that made him want to have it just for himself. She still fit into his arms perfectly. Her eyes were still ice cold. She was still witty in an insecure way.
She was also kind of pathetic.
Logan didn’t want to waste time thinking about Veronica, not when he had survived for so long without her and her baggage. She had nearly destroyed him all those years ago- no. She hadn’t destroyed him. He had ruined himself. However, he had allowed himself to be affected by her in such a way...
He didn’t want to experience that, ever again. Not when he finally had his life in order, everything packaged and labeled and lined up neatly with care. Everything was perfect and without complications, just the way he liked it.
He was living the fucking American dream.
He didn’t want to fucking think about Veronica Mars anymore. He didn’t want to worry about her anymore, either. He just wanted to live his perfect, uncomplicated life, just the way he liked it.
“Are you thinking about Veronica?”
Logan blinked in annoyance at the sound of Carmen’s teasing tone, and he shot her a glare, jumping to his feet. “No.”
“I can tell, you know. You get all intense...” her eyes lit up with a certain naughty playfulness. “It’s kind of hot.”
He chuckled, not knowing what else to do as he started to pace around the coffee table. “You’re warped.”
“Mm...it’s okay, you know,” Carmen continued, her words breathless gasps as she jumped. “You were in love with her-”
“For those of us playing the home game, were happens to be the keyword,” he snapped. He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “She looked odd.”
Carmen popped a cherry in her mouth, frowning. “Depressed.”
“Yeah.” Logan glanced at her, stopping in his tracks. “What do you think?”
“About Veronica or in general?”
“Veronica.”
Carmen shrugged, returning to her game.
Logan nodded, inhaling deeply. “You’re a big help, princesa.”
She rolled her eyes, coming to a stop. She took a moment to regain her balance, giving him a tiny smirk. “Why don’t you come over here?” she asked in a low voice.
He smiled slowly, moving towards her. “You’re ready to play?”
“As long as you play nice...”
Logan eyed her, hooking his finger underneath the band of her underwear. “I always play nice.” There was a hard knock on the door, and he froze, glancing over his shoulder. His eyes narrowed. “What the hell.”
Another sharp knock echoed through the condo, and he let out an annoyed huff, walking to the door.
Carmen rolled her eyes, beginning to jump again. “Don’t take too long.”
“Uh huh,” Logan flung the front door open, blinking as he came face to face with Dick Casablancas. Dick, who currently looked like he had been sleeping in his car. “Dude. Are you drunk?”
“Dude. My lady kicked me out because of this stupid-” Dick ran a weary hand over his face, holding up his cell phone. “You need to call Parker. And tell her to stop fucking calling me. She’s getting me in trouble with the missus.”
Logan’s eyes narrowed. “Why is she calling you?”
“Because you won’t answer your fucking phone, that’s why.” He held up his hand before Logan could respond. “And before you start bitching, I tried to call you myself, but I got your voicemail. So, shut the fuck up.”
Logan sighed. “What’s the problem?”
“Are you avoiding her?”
“No...” he trailed off, shrugging. “I’ve been busy. I’ll call her in the morning,” he paused, a frown playing on his lips. “Veronica’s in town.”
“Veronica? Rich-dude-kryptonite Veronica?”
“Yes.”
“Huh.” Dick shook his head. “Listen, fucking call Parker now, she’s driving me nuts. She’s acting like your mom, and she’s acting like MY mom, and that’s not hot,” he gave Logan a knowing look. “And that sucks, ‘cause Parker’s too hot to be a grown man’s mommy, dude.”
Logan gave Dick a hard look before glancing over his shoulder at Carmen. “Don’t talk about her like that, man,” he mumbled.
Dick peered over Logan’s shoulder, giving Carmen a bright smile. “Hola, Carmen!” Carmen waved at Dick absently, and his smile grew as he glanced at her chest. “It’s kinda cold tonight, isn’t it?”
Logan smirked at Carmen’s scowl, before facing Dick. “Classy,” he said matter-of-factly, closing the door so only he was visible. “Are you done?”
Dick groaned. “I still can’t believe you’re banging Carmen Ruiz. Give some of the little guys a shot, man.”
“She chose me, my friend,” Logan said proudly. Dick was quiet for a moment, and for that moment, Logan was almost fearful as he stared into Dick’s eyes. He knew that look, that devious look. “What.”
“So...” Dick cringed playfully. “Mind if I take a crack at Ronnie? I haven’t seen her yet, but she’s probably still a hottie-”
“Stop before I make you regret it,” Logan said sharply. “Good night.”
“You’re just greedy, man.”
Logan grinned. “Get some sleep. I’ll call Parker in the morning, and then we’ll hang.”
Dick tilted his head, trying to keep eye contact with Logan even as the door started to close. “Don’t ditch me, dude!”
Logan nodded, shutting the door in Dick’s face. Another problem averted for the time being. Now he really needed a distraction. A pleasant one, at that. No more worries or obligations or reminders or forgotten memories or any other headaches.
That column could be written tomorrow. It could wait.
He turned to Carmen with a flourish, sauntering to the couch. “Done torturing me?”
Carmen stopped bouncing, giving Logan a wicked little smile as she took another sip from her champagne bottle. “Just how bad do you want it?”
“I’ll fold and say pretty damn bad,” he replied, gently taking the bottle out of her hand and setting it down.
Carmen smiled as Logan cupped the back of her neck, bringing her down. His lips ran over her skin, and she gently touched the side of his face, pulling back. “Listen, we can do this another time,” she said, her eyes with a hint of concern. “We can just talk, you know? We can talk about random crap, about Veronica-”
“Veronica?” Logan frowned, confused. “Veronica who?” he lunged forward, grabbing Carmen’s thighs and throwing her over his shoulder. A smile played on his lips as she squealed, and he started for the bedroom.
* * * * *
“Veronica! Breakfast!”
Veronica’s eyes opened slowly and she blinked, stifling the yawn threatening to escape. Her bleary eyes focused on her alarm clock, noting the time. 7:22am. It was definitely way too early for this crap, especially from Harmony. “Yeah,” she muttered to herself, covering her eyes with her hands.
Another restless night, another night of counting the cars that drove below her window. She had slept in her old bedroom for a week now, and each night brought fewer and fewer hours of sleep.
Her dad had finished with his job in Napa and had come home to a house full of awkwardness, with Harmony watching television and Veronica locked in her bedroom. This trend had continued for the rest of the week. Veronica didn’t bother denying to him that she and Harmony weren’t getting along, he would see right through her lies anyway. She was certain that anything that came out of her mouth would sound like she was attacking Harmony, and she decided that she didn’t want to get into an argument with her father so early into her indeterminate stay.
Harmony wasn’t that bad, in all honesty. Veronica knew Harmony was trying. She cooked, cleaned, and attempted conversation, but Veronica just wasn’t having any of it. She didn’t want to tell Harmony about what had been going on for the last seven years, and she definitely didn’t want to confide in someone who had just entered the picture. Deep down, she knew the only reason Harmony was being nice to her was because she held the privileged title of Keith’s Only Daughter. Still, Harmony attempted to bond, and Veronica continued to rebuff her.
If Veronica weren’t so miserable, she would’ve felt bad for Harmony.
Veronica also hadn’t given her father the details of how she spent her time during the last week. She wasn’t sure he would be pleased to know she was busy looking up jobs in Nevada and New Mexico and had already gotten an offer to be an investigator in Crescent Valley for less money than she ever made working for her father. Somehow, she didn’t think telling her dad that she was getting ready for The Great Escape, Part Two was the best way to start any conversation.
Honestly, his anger and/or shock would’ve been unwarranted- what exactly did he expect to happen? She was feeling- again- like an outcast, and he hadn’t exactly welcomed her back with open arms. She tried not to anticipate the argument before it happened. After all, she hadn’t left yet. She was depressed and lonely, but she was still there.
She had also been staring at Logan’s business card for embarrassingly long stretches of time, and fought the sporadic urges to give him a call. Despite the fact that she was still kicking herself over her faux pas a week ago, she was still shocked to find him on her mind when she wasn’t stressing over the rest of her situation. His name sat there, mocking her with its shiny writing and the rejuvenated man behind the name, and she almost went mad with confusion and curiosity. However, she didn’t call, not wanting to seem desperate. In turn, he didn’t call her even once, and she had to keep reminding herself that it was because she never gave him her phone number, and not because he just wasn’t interested in getting it.
Regardless, she refused to appear desperate.
Desperate for what, she wasn’t sure. A friend, someone to keep her company, someone to join her in her misery, whatever. She just knew she liked what she had seen in the restaurant, even though she was still skeptical of whether Logan’s behavior was permanent or just a phase.
In this new Neptune, she was kind of hoping it was just a phase- at least being disappointed by Logan would be a welcome familiarity.
Despite all of the thoughts running through her head, what really disturbed Veronica was the fact that her father had kept in close contact with Logan and didn’t feel the need to tell her. She had told him to look after Logan, and she hadn’t heard a thing since. Betrayal was the first emotion to come to mind- apparently, it wasn’t important to let her know that her ex had cleaned up, graduated, and got a job.
Everyone had just moved on and forgotten about her. It was far more upsetting than she would ever admit.
Seven Years Ago
“Look, you don’t have to come. I...I’m going whether you agree or not, because I need to get out of here before I jump off the Coronado Bridge, so if you don’t want to go, maybe we should just break up so you won’t be waiting for me because I’m not coming back. I’m just trying to be fair, okay? I know you have your own priorities, but for my own sanity, I need to go.”
Veronica inhaled deeply, her rehearsed speech now out and left floating in the tension of the room. She swallowed hard, her eyes settling on Piz, who continued to stare at his lap and definitely not at her. He was as silent as he was when she first started talking, and it was beginning to unnerve her.
A part of her was angry that the only safe haven on campus just happened to be in Piz and Wallace’s dorm, and she was even angrier when she realized that Wallace wasn’t even there to comfort her, since he was currently at one of his Invisible Children meetings.
She couldn’t go anywhere without getting stared at. Whispers and giggles followed her wherever she went, and it was like she never left Neptune High. She almost expected Madison and her ilk to show up in one of the bathrooms, writing her phone number on the wall beneath an untrue proclamation of how many guys she had given head to.
Frustratingly, Piz still wasn’t talking.
The awkwardness from the whole altercation in the cafeteria wasn’t really there when she gave Piz a hello kiss, and if he was annoyed or angry with her, he wasn’t showing it. Really, he had no reason to be pissed off- she didn’t do anything wrong. She had smiled at Logan- so what? Piz had nothing to be upset about.
She honestly didn’t know what Piz’s reaction was going to be. After all that had happened, she felt she owed Piz the courtesy of informing him of her plans. Beyond all the politeness and the rules of being a good girlfriend, she just didn’t want to leave town by herself. She couldn’t ask her father to leave, Wallace wouldn’t go, and she couldn’t even dream of asking Mac. Obviously, Parker and Logan were no-go’s, and Veronica realized that she didn’t really have other people to turn to.
She nodded to herself, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. “Piz.”
Piz blinked, finally lifting his gaze and focusing on her. “Y-Yeah?”
Veronica let out an impatient sigh, her arms falling at her sides. “Are you going to come with me or not?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.
Truth was, she was terrified. She was about to leave her home permanently for the first time ever, and she was now asking her boyfriend of a couple of weeks to more or less move in with her. From second base to sharing space on the bathroom sink. It had taken her months to leave a change of clothes at Logan’s place, and that was after about three break-ups and reunions, several near-death experiences, and countless “I love you’s” and sleep overs. She was more than terrified. She was scared to death.
“I’m trying to be fair to you, but if you don’t want to come with me, I understand- you have your own internship to do and I definitely don’t want to stop you but I don’t want you to think that I’m pushing you away because I’m definitely not-”
“Veronica.”
“Piz, I don’t want you to hate me, but I have to go, so I’ll understand if you want to break up and do your internship. No hard feelings-”
Piz laughed slightly, giving her a shrug. “Veronica, I’ll go.”
She blinked, surprised, and found herself staring at him rather dumbly. “What?”
“I’ll go with you.”
Veronica laughed nervously, shoving her hair behind her ears. “But what about your internship-”
He climbed to his feet, walking towards her. “Veronica, there will be other internships...Hearst kind of sucks, anyway, and I just don’t want to lose you or our thing together.”
Still stunned and unsure of what else to do, she gave him a relieved smile as he embraced her, her arms wrapping around his waist. “Are you sure you’re just not going because you think the big bad FBI will sweep me away?” she teased gently.
He didn’t respond, his fingers running through her hair, and her smile faded.
“I’m going because I think I’m falling in love with you,” Piz finally mumbled against her hair, holding her tighter.
Veronica nodded, her smile fading completely. Out of all the things she wanted and needed for him to say, that definitely wasn’t it. She felt her face grow hot, and she was certain Piz could see her panic as he cupped her face. She blinked, hoping the fear was gone when he gazed into her eyes, but she quickly shut them as he leaned down, kissing her softly.
He pulled back slightly, giving her a faint smile. “Are all the bugs gone?” he asked softly.
“Yeah,” she smiled anxiously. “Why?”
He shrugged. “Well...stupidity from outside parties shouldn’t stop the inevitable, right?”
Veronica gave him a suggestive leer, fighting back the nervous giggles threatening to escape her. “What exactly do you have in mind, Piznarski?”
Piz didn’t respond, his mouth pressing against hers firmly.
She kissed Piz back, already convincing herself that this was all normal, that new couples made these kinds of decisions all the time. He guided her to his bed and she let him, her fingers grasping onto his shirt tightly as she tried to forget that this was going to be their first time, not allowing to let the anxiety take over.
This was normal. Eventually, new couples had sex, and she was surprised to be more prepared for it than she thought she would be. She sighed when his lips pressed against her neck and she was actually going to enjoy this, she was sure of it. It all felt good and not weird and, really, nothing was more normal and carefree than having sex in your boyfriend’s dorm. It beat worrying about mobs and sex tapes and her father being in trouble with the authorities. She welcomed the distraction.
Her hands pulled at his t-shirt and she blocked out the dueling worries in her head, focusing on what was happening then and there- not on the state of her life and the fact that she was eventually going to have to tell her father of her plans.
Now
“Veronica! Breakfast!”
Veronica grit her teeth at the sound of Harmony’s husky yell, throwing her blanket off her body in a huff. “I’m COMING!” she shouted, sitting up swiftly.
“Veronica!”
She froze, knowing her father’s warning tone all too well. She forced a tight smile on her face, inhaling deeply. “Yes?”
“You need to come right now. Your food’s getting cold!”
Veronica fought the urge to roll her eyes, climbing to her feet. “Can’t I at least shower, first?” she muttered, running a hand through her unruly hair as she padded to the bathroom.
Clearly, her father and Harmony had used up all the hot water, and Veronica closed her eyes tightly through the ice cold stream, trying to will some heat onto her body as she scrubbed her skin. She dipped her head under the water, gasping as the cold water hit her scalp and slid down her body, and before long, she was shivering.
Fate was already shitting on her, she didn’t see why it had to allow her a warm shower all of a sudden.
She didn’t look at the mirror as she brushed her teeth and tied her wet hair into a ponytail. A part of her didn’t want to see how she knew she looked- dead, sickly, pale, miserable. No reminders necessary.
Veronica walked to the counter in the kitchen, winding her hair into a bun as she approached the counter. She gave both Harmony and Keith a small smile as she slid into her seat. “Good morning,” she said stiffly.
Keith didn’t look up from the sports pages, reaching for his glass of orange juice. “Morning.”
Veronica’s smile faded as she glanced down at her plate, a hearty helping of scrambled eggs and thick slices of ham. “I don’t eat ham,” she said automatically.
Keith looked at Harmony, who flushed red, before turning to Veronica, giving her a firm stare. “Then just eat the eggs.”
With a short nod, Veronica picked up her fork, digging into the eggs. “Ran into Logan at this restaurant. Chasm?” she said, trying to keep her voice light.
“Oh?”
Veronica nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me you guys had really kept in touch?” she laughed after Keith gave her a puzzled look. “When we talked on the phone?”
“Considering all our conversations were always under five minutes and usually were about the same thing, there wasn’t really any time-”
“You didn’t think that information was important enough to tell me?” she cut him off sharply.
“You didn’t think you quitting your job and breaking up with Piz was important enough to tell me?” Keith shot back, giving her a hard look.
Veronica’s jaw set, not wanting to get into an argument then and there with her father. True, their conversations had consisted of the awkward “how are you, fine, how’s life, fine” for seven years, but somehow, the whole thing with Logan seemed like news of a different level. She knew she should’ve made more of an effort to reconnect with her father over the years, but between the fear of what she would find out and the fact that her life was having more downs than ups, she had decided it was best for them both if they kept their conversations simple.
Now, she was regretting it.
“There wasn’t much to tell,” she said shortly. “We just broke up, I just quit my job.”
Keith stared at her for a long moment, and she caught him trying to see through her lie. “Okay.”
She set down her fork, glancing from Keith to Harmony. She was just going to bite the bullet and ask exactly what she had been wondering for the last week. “Okay, honestly- do you guys even want me here?” she chuckled nervously, almost afraid of their answers and growing more panicked by their blank expressions. “I’ll find a place to stay if I’m barging in on your-”
“It’s not that,” Harmony interjected, looking slightly embarrassed when both Keith and Veronica looked at her. “It’s just...I don’t think we’re used to having permanent company after six years of being alone. It’s going to take some getting used to.”
Veronica glanced at Keith, looking for confirmation of Harmony’s words, and was relieved when he finally nodded, avoiding her gaze. “Are you guys sure? I can look somewhere else...”
“No,” Keith said quickly. “No. You’re staying here until you get on your feet.”
She frowned slightly, eyeing her father almost suspiciously and waiting for him to reveal his true feelings about the situation. Instead, he gave her a warm smile, and she couldn't stop the faint thrill that ran through her at the sight of it. Maybe he wasn’t as mad as her as she thought.
With a faint grin, she picked up her fork and started to eat. “What are you guys doing today?” she asked lightly.
“Working at the art gallery,” Harmony said, climbing to her feet. “In fact, I’m going to be late,” she gave Keith a quick kiss on the forehead before racing for the bathroom.
“I’m working at the office,” Keith said, continuing before Veronica could speak. “Why don’t you keep yourself busy? Go shop downtown, be normal.”
Veronica’s fork dropped with a clang, and she gave her father a slight glare.
* * * * *
Logan stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, a sigh escaping him. This definitely wasn’t the way to start out a day. He had bags under his eyes, his back was sore, his hair was a mess, and he looked tired as hell. Sure, he hadn’t gotten much sleep, but it was his own fault. A shower was going to have to fix all his problems.
He reached for the electric razor on the counter next to the sink, his eyes drifting down, then back up at his reflection. The last time he had shaved was about two weeks ago, and he couldn’t say he was dying to get rid of the stubble. With a press of his lips, he pulled his hand back, running it through his hair. Maybe he would shave it off another day.
A hot shower managed to soothe the tension in his back, and he noted as he dressed that he was about a good hour early for work. He glanced at his watch as he headed out the door, wondering if he could catch his favorite gamer before she reached the bus.
The forecast was warm and sunny, and he couldn’t say it suited his mood. He had been in a funk since running into Veronica just a week ago, a funk he hadn’t been able to shake off. Certainly, it wasn’t Veronica’s presence that was causing the mood swing, rather, he realized it was her mood that had drastically changed his.
Unfortunately, she was a dark grey rain cloud in his warm and sunny life, and he didn’t know how to rid her from his thoughts. Concerned. He was concerned, and maybe just a bit annoyed. He had a life, a regular routine, and Veronica had definitely thrown his everyday into a figurative twist. The voice in his head told him to just let it go, that she would be gone in a couple of days and everything would go back to normal.
Considering Keith hadn’t informed him otherwise, Logan took that as a sign that Veronica was, for the time being, there to stay. As much as he cared for Veronica, he couldn’t help but associate her with suffocating love, pain, and slamming doors. He didn’t need it in his life.
A small smile came upon Logan’s face as he drove, spotting the tall brunette walking down the sidewalk, a khaki bag flung over her shoulder. He slowed beside the girl, lowering his car window and giving her a grin. “Hey there, beautiful!” he called. “Wanna ride?”
Heather Button bit back a smile, glancing over her shoulder at Logan’s truck. “Good morning, old man!”
“Morning, college girl.”
She gave him a roll of her eyes. “Not yet- I’m still in orientation, remember?”
“But you made it,” he paused, cringing playfully as he pulled to a stop. “I suppose it’ll be creepy to offer you some candy?”
Heather laughed, jumping off the curb and swinging the car door open. “Shush, people will talk,” she gasped as he held up a tiny, makeshift bouquet of colorful Tootsie Roll lollipops. “Oh my God, you were serious about the candy!”
Logan jerked the candy out of her grasp. “Aced the French?”
She gave him a pleased smile as she climbed into the car. “Oui, j'ai fait, mon ami.” she snatched the candy out of his grasp before leaning over and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “You’re awesome!”
He smiled, jerking back slightly when her lips got too close to his, giving her a faintly anxious nod as he reached into the backseat, his eyes still on the road. “Look what else I got you-” He pulled out a grey t-shirt, tossing it on her lap. “It’s customary to get a shirt when you become a Hearst co-ed...now you’re official.”
Heather grinned, putting the shirt on over her tank top. “How’s it look?” she asked, striking a pose.
“You look like a girl gone wild,” Logan turned the corner, heading for Heart, and a small smile played on his face. “XBox after class?”
“Don’t you have to work, gramps?”
“Excuse you, I have what’s called a lunch break.”
* * * * *
Veronica slipped into Chasm, dodging the laughing teenagers walking out with their strawberry smoothies. The café, as usual, was packed with locals and college kids. The television propped against the wall was tuned to some coverage of Fashion Week, and from the speakers came the end of a We Are Scientists song, and the beginning of an Amy Winehouse one.
The sight of this New Neptune still shocked her. Everyone was happy and the town was full of young money-makers and hipsters. The latest mayor had definitely revitalized the town and turned it into the hippest place to live this side of San Diego. Even the River Styx was bought out and replaced with a sports bar.
Veronica surveyed the crowded restaurant, looking for the only familiar face. She found her near the bar, leaning on the counter as the bartender slid her a glass of water. Another younger waitress with glasses appeared behind the counter, and Veronica noted that she looked like a taller, slimmer Mac. The teenager told Carmen something, and Carmen pointed to the table across the room, and the young girl was off.
She hadn’t spoken to Carmen since that day in the restaurant, not wanting to rehash Carmen’s exchange with Logan or the fact that she hadn’t waited for Carmen’s shift to end before bolting. Most of all, she didn’t want to keep explaining why she was back home or how it happened or anything in that area.
At the moment, all she wanted was a fruit salad and a smoothie.
With a shake of her head, Veronica walked over to the bar, quickly gathering her nerve. Carmen didn’t seem to notice her, continuing to chat with the bartender, sipping her drink. “Carmen.”
Carmen turned, a happy little grin coming upon her face at the sight of Veronica. “Hey, girl! Good morning! What’s going on?”
Veronica smiled briefly, appreciating the genuine niceness coming from Carmen. It was a welcome break from the cautious tiptoeing in her own home. “Just wanted some breakfast.”
“Okay, what do you need?”
She shrugged. “Fruit salad and a banana smoothie?” she watched as Carmen nodded, quickly writing down her order and handing it to a passing waitress. “I’m sorry.”
Carmen’s brow furrowed. “For what?”
“For...” Veronica trailed off, sighing as she gripped the back of a chair. “For leaving without saying goodbye. It was rude and I was tired...”
“Oh, that’s fine. I figured as much-” she smiled as the bartender slipped a cherry into her water, and she grabbed his wrist. “Veronica, this is Chad- the hottest gay man you will ever meet.”
Veronica waved, forcing a grin on her face. The last thing she needed was a big introduction to the newest Neptune residents, but she chose to be polite. She couldn’t really afford to be a bitch in her current state. “Hi.”
“So you’re Miss Veronica, huh?” Chad said, looking her up and down. “You’re a bit of a legend around these parts. I heard about the popsicle and Carmen, here.”
Carmen nodded, looking briefly shamed. “Veronica had my back...”
“Well, then I think she deserves a free meal,” Chad winked at Veronica before walking across the bar and serving a waiting customer.
“I’m serious about that,” Carmen said, facing Veronica once more. “You had my back, and it...it was really a learning experience. I mean, I became more open and vocal now because of it,” she grinned. “Honestly, could you have seen me like this ten years ago?”
Veronica chuckled, remembering the whole thing between Carmen and Logan and no, she definitely couldn’t have seen Carmen like that ten years ago. She dug the pads of her fingers into the chair she was holding, clearing her throat. “Um, listen, Carmen. I just wanted to...” she trailed off, an anxious laugh escaping her as her mouth started to move before she could stop it. “Logan used to be my boyfriend and I know you guys have a thing...but I’m not saying that I’m upset or anything-”
Carmen laughed, blinking in shock. “Oh my God, Veronica- are you seriously annoyed that we’re messing around?” Veronica didn’t respond, and Carmen face lit up in an amused dismay. “Veronica! Are you serious?”
Veronica’s jaw clenched, and she forced a tight smile. She knew she should’ve stopped talking, tried to prevent herself from shoving her own foot deeper into her mouth, but of course, her mouth now had a life of its own and was not concerned with keeping what was left of Veronica’s self-respect intact. “He used to be-”
“But it was almost ten years ago! I honestly thought you would’ve been cool with it- you went out with Duncan and Logan, remember? And didn’t you leave town with that other guy, anyways?”
Veronica laughed, not knowing what else to do. “I-I don’t see what one has to do with the other...”
Carmen glanced around the restaurant as if someone would come to her defense, before fixing Veronica with a gaze that Veronica closely associated with a sort of confused pity. “I honestly had no idea you would’ve been so up-in-arms about this, Veronica. I mean, really, no one thought you were ever coming back. We all thought you were gone forever.” she gave Veronica a small, faintly embarrassed smile. “Besides...I’m not exactly dating him. It’s just a friendship. And sex-”
Carmen suddenly gasped, grabbing Veronica’s arm. “You don’t still have a thing for him, do you?”
“What?” Veronica let out a loud laugh, shaking her head. “No! No...I just-”
“You just thought you would mark your territory without peeing on his leg?” Carmen smirked at Veronica’s look of shock, squeezing Veronica’s arm comfortingly. “Veronica, I’m sorry if my thing with Logan freaked you out, but honestly, it’s been years. And we all thought you weren’t coming back. Ever.” she said gently. “I’m sorry if this is awkward, but...get over it.”
Veronica stared at Carmen for a long moment in shock, processing her words. Finally, she nodded, her lips pressing together tightly. “You’re right,” she said, trying to keep her voice even. “You’re absolutely right. I-I mean, exactly who am I to expect Logan to stay alone-”
“Trust me, he didn’t. There was this one girl-”
“Of course there was...” Veronica said with a high-pitched laugh. She felt sick, the last thing she needed or wanted to do was discuss all of Logan’s little skanks over at stage left. “That’s enough, Carmen.”
“Yeah,” Carmen said, her mouth puckering into a frown. “Don’t worry about it, though. Logan and I...we’re nothing serious.”
“Thank you, Carmen,” Veronica said, unable to keep the sharp tinge from her voice. She turned, pushing past patrons toward the door, ignoring Carmen’s shouts.
She didn’t want to eat, anyway.
She couldn’t reach her car fast enough, and the aimless drive around helped her mood slightly. She didn’t know what came over her- why should she care about Logan and Carmen? None of that mattered, even if she was dying to know what Carmen saw in Logan that she was missing. Seven years had passed, and while she really had no desire to go through the epic pain and bloodshed of any sort of a relationship with Logan, she still wondered why all these girls were trying to jump on him. It couldn’t have just been the sex. Had he changed that much?
After several minutes of kicking herself over her run-in with Carmen, Veronica decided to elevate her mood by shopping at the discount clothing store. She could get a cheap outfit and voila, instant mood lifter.
It didn’t take long for her to realize that she was lost.
Pulling over out of the way of traffic, Veronica licked her lips, clutching the steering wheel firmly. She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply through her nose. She wasn’t about to have a panic attack because she couldn’t find the discount boutique. There was no way in hell she was going to have a breakdown because she was lost in the middle of Neptune. No way in hell.
“Everything’s okay. Everything’s fine. I’m okay. I’m going to be just fine. Everything’s cool...” she whispered to herself, her voice shaking. “No one hates me, I am loved. No one hates me...”
She inhaled deeply, blinking back the tears threatening to break through. “I am not a failure, this is just a setback in my path. I am loved, I am not a failure, everything’s okay,” she shut her eyes tightly, clutching the steering wheel painfully taut. “Everything’s just cool- I’m cool- everything’s fine-”
The sharp knock to her window startled her, and she jumped with a gasp. Her eyes flew open, and she glanced at the driver’s side window, spotting Logan peering in, a faintly concerned look in his eyes.
Perfect.
A strong annoyance filled her at the sight of him, and she hastily pressed the button on her door that lowered the window. “Are you following me?” she snapped.
Immediately, the concern was gone from Logan’s eyes, and he shot her a look. She continued to glare at him, and he looked at her oddly, before gesturing down the street to a sleek building. “That’s where I work,” he said simply. “Talk Magazine. I work on the tenth floor, where I have worked for the last three years. My boss’ name is Harrison Stewart and his daughter is the receptionist. Your dad got me the job. My coffee mug has lightning bolts.”
She blinked rapidly in embarrassment, noticing that he was in black dress pants and a white shirt with a loose, dark red tie. His hair was neatly done, and he clutched a metal coffee thermos in his left hand. He was indeed heading to work. “Sorry.”
He nodded, even though the annoyance wasn’t fully gone from his eyes. “What are you doing this fine morning?” he asked dryly.
“I got lost looking for the discount boutique,” she mumbled, wiping at her eyes.
Logan shook his head, a sigh escaping him. “Closed down about six years ago, replaced by a comic book store.”
She nodded, stifling the frustrated scream that was threatening to break free. “Of course, it was.”
He frowned. “Wait- how the hell did you get lost?”
Veronica let out an exasperated sigh, not in the mood to participate in Logan’s Q&A. “I left that restaurant you like and was driving like normal people do, was thinking and not paying attention, and I got lost.”
Logan glanced to his left, biting back a smile as he faced her once more. “Chasm is, like, four blocks away. You were driving around in circles,” he chuckled, his smile fading when he caught her glaring at him. “Yeah, no boutique.”
She scowled, hating him then for finding her misfortune so damn amusing. It was just like high school all over again. Something bad happened to her, and he found the humor in it. It was the second time in one week that he had made light of her very real problems, and yes, this was a minor blip of a problem, a stupid case of misdirection, yet she still felt slighted.
“There’s a dELiAs two blocks down-”
“I don’t want a dELiAs,” Veronica said sharply. “I want the boutique.”
He frowned, glancing down at his thermos. He seemed unfazed by her snipe as he lifted his head, eyes on her once more. “Want some pink lemonade?” he asked, lifting his thermos and wiggling it at her. “I made it.”
“You did not.”
“You’re right, I didn’t.”
She sniffed, glancing up at him. Their previous exchange, and her bad mood, was almost immediately forgotten as she gratefully sank into the absurdity of their conversation. “Who did?” She waited for his answer, already assuming, hoping it wasn’t Carmen.
He shrugged, looking faintly amused. “Mr. Kool-Aid?”
A laugh escaped Veronica then, and she nodded, pushing her hair behind her ears. “Your kitchen skills have gotten better since I last-”
“Listen, I have to get to work,” Logan said abruptly, straightening up. He nodded down the street. “The dELiAs is all you’re gonna find, V.”
She blinked, startled by the sudden shift in discussion. “O-Okay.”
“Okay,” he nodded once, waving his thermos at her. “See ya.” With that, he walked away from her car, waiting for a moment before jogging down the street.
Veronica watched him go, once again not turning back to look at her, and she felt that strong depression overwhelm her. She didn’t want to shop, she didn’t want to eat, she didn’t want to be normal.
Nothing about her life was normal and would never be normal again, and she didn’t want to even try to fit in. She had spent the last fifteen years trying to fit in, and she was just tired. Logan didn’t want anything to do with her, not even her father wanted to bother with her.
She didn’t want to feel awkward anymore. All she wanted to do was disappear.
Seven Years Ago
“Veronica, stop for a second.”
“I have to go.”
Keith watched as Veronica tugged her suitcase down the hall, Backup right behind her, and he could feel his chest tightening with a specific kind of dread. She had told him that she was leaving Neptune permanently just fifteen minutes ago, and it was safe to say he was extremely close to freaking out and tying her down before she did something she would regret. “Veronica.”
She gritted her teeth, yanking the suitcase to the door before opening it. “Dad, I...I can’t stay here. I have the internship and I’m just tired. I can’t.”
“Veronica-”
“Dad, I just need you to let me go.”
“You’re moving out on a whim, Veronica. You’re leaving with a boy you’ve been dating for a couple of weeks- can’t you see why I can’t agree to this?”
“I do see,” she said solemnly. “But I still have to go.”
He nodded, vowing to keep steady, not to panic. She was a big girl and she could do whatever she wanted, but he knew if he could just convince her to relax and think things through, then everything would be all right. Everything had to be. “Veronica. Just sit down and talk to me. If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine. Just sleep on it-”
Veronica chuckled dryly, shaking her head as she walked past her father towards her bedroom. “I can’t.”
Keith followed her, watching as she opened her desk drawer, pulling out a metal box. Her hands shook, and all he wanted to do was hold her, but he remained stuck to the spot, afraid to even touch her. “What if I wanted you to stay?” he asked quietly.
“Dad,” her voice trembled, and her lips pressed together as she pulled out a small envelope, papers and items falling to the table. He knew what that envelope was- identification papers. Legal documents. Social security card. She was really leaving. “Just...please. Let me go.”
“Veronica.”
Veronica walked over to her father, averting her gaze from his as she tilted up on her toes, leaving a gentle kiss on his cheek. “I love you.”
He embraced her, hating when she stiffened in his hold. “Just think carefully about this.”
She pulled away, shaking her head as she pushed her hair behind her ears. “I need you to look after Logan for me, okay?” she said quietly, her words rushed. “I really need you to.”
Keith didn’t bother hiding his surprise at her request, knowing full well that this wasn’t the kind of request Veronica made every day. “I-I don’t-”
“Please,” she sighed heavily, her shoulders slouching. “I have to go.”
“Veronica.”
“I love you, dad.”
“Veronica.”
“I’ll call you when I get there.”
“Please.”
Veronica’s gaze finally locked on his, and he could see the tears welling in her eyes and threatening to spill over. “I love you.”
Before he could respond, she had walked away, her head lowering as she reached the door. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, anything to make her stay, but he stayed silent as she picked up her suitcase, lugging it out on the porch.
Keith knew then that he had to say something. Now or never. He needed to, or she was just going to walk out. He didn’t even know if she was going to come back or if this departure was just an overreaction and she would return in time for dinner. “I love you, honey.”
She hesitated there, and hope filled him as he waited for her to turn, to announce she was reconsidering. Then, she bit her lip, shutting the door with a slam.
He stood there for a long moment that turned into five minutes, then ten, waiting for the front door to open and for Veronica to reappear. The sun hadn’t even set, and his daughter was gone for good. He had expected this much later, when she had a well-paying career and a well-adjusted life, when he was confident in letting her go.
Yet, now, he wasn’t ready. He definitely wasn’t ready.
Keith turned, walking further into Veronica’s room and glancing around. Her room was in an almost neat disarray, and although he wasn’t sure how that was possible, she had managed. He sank to the computer chair, his eyes landing on her green graduation cap, forgotten next to a picture of herself and Wallace.
His gaze shifted to the metal box left opened on the table, and he picked up the stack of photographs still in it.
Lianne. Lianne and Veronica at various ages. Himself, Lianne and Veronica. Lilly. Duncan. Wallace. A lot of scenery shots of the beach. Logan.
Keith’s eyes narrowed as he dropped the pictures, focusing on the one in his hand. Veronica and Logan on what looked like a bed, both in their pajamas and looking just woken, smiling for the camera that Veronica held over their faces. Not exactly the way he wanted to have the point drilled in that his daughter had sleepovers at her ex-boyfriend’s place.
A part of him felt a gnawing guilt at looking through Veronica’s personal, private items, things that she had obviously kept hidden from view. However, it was out in the open, now. If she had wanted it, she would’ve kept it.
He picked up a piece of paper, deep square creases from being folded and opened and folded again, a letter that had been read continuously. His eyes skimmed over the page, a typical, ordinary love letter from Logan to his daughter, and he quickly averted his gaze to the bottom of the page when the letter got too personal, too intimate for his eyes.
His gaze fell on the last sentence before the end of the letter, a scrawled, almost rushed You make me happy.
With a shake of his head, Keith gathered up all of these keepsakes that Veronica had kept and treasured for years, placing them back into the metal box and closing it. He slipped it into her drawer and shut it before standing and walking out of her bedroom.
When Veronica returned, that box would be there for her.
* * * * *
Piz glanced anxiously at Veronica as he drove, watching briefly as she stared absently out the window. She had been silent since she got into her- now their- car, allowing him to drive and pick the radio station the entire trip.
“Veronica?”
She blinked, slowly turning toward Piz and offering him a weak smile. “Yes.”
“We can turn back any time you want,” he said gently. “We don’t have to go.”
“Yes, we do,” she nodded to herself, turning back to stare out the window. “I’ll be fine, just keep driving.”
Piz didn’t respond, returning his attention to the road and focusing on the task ahead and not on the clearly troubled girl next to him. She was off in her own world, and he didn’t know how to help her, if she even wanted help. So, he chose to ignore it, telling himself that everything would be okay once they got out of Neptune.
Veronica sighed, a faint, sad smile on her lips. “I don’t know how-” she froze when Piz suddenly reached over, raising the volume of the radio. Her smile faded as she returned her gaze to the passing scenery. “Everything is going to be just fine,” she whispered.
Word Count: 8657 in this chapter
Category: AU, after “The Bitch is Back”
Characters/Pairings: Veronica, Logan, Keith, Parker, Dick, Logan/Veronica, slight Veronica/Piz, Logan/OFC, slight Veronica/OMC, some merry Neptune residents
Spoilers: Up to 3.20 “The Bitch is Back.”
Disclaimer: The characters were created by Rob Thomas and remain the property of Thomas, the CW, and Warner Bros. Television. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Special Thanks: To the betas of this fic, afrocurl and solflower22, who are so very patient with me while I struggle with this monster (currently 100 pages and counting!). Any and all mistakes after their betas are my own.
Dedication: Once again, the main reason this is being posted now is all because of smiles1_9's charity. THANK HER.
Summary: Somehow, she didn’t think telling her dad that she was getting ready for The Great Escape, Part Two was the best way to start any conversation.
Carmen was using one of his couches as a trampoline and Logan would seriously have found it to be cute and strangely hot if he wasn’t so pissed off.
She showed up at one in the morning with a bag of champagne bottles from Chasm, as well as some of those excellent spinach rolls that might convince him to invest in the restaurant after all. He had played coy and even held up his laptop for her viewing pleasure, but, frankly, he couldn’t resist the cherries and silk ties she pulled out of the bag.
His eyes followed as she danced on the white couch, sipping on a bottle of champagne and loudly singing along to the Rihanna CD she had slipped into his stereo earlier. A smile perked on his lips as he saluted her sly seduction routine- food, drink, and a sheer boy shorts and tank combo. The red lips didn't hurt, either.
Logan had to give it to Carmen Ruiz- she was never desperate. She had kissed him hello just twenty minutes earlier, then refused to touch him since bouncing on the couch seemed a lot more appealing, he supposed. It was refreshing. Usually, girls jumped him the second they waltzed in, wearing nothing under their jackets. Yet, Carmen undressed in front of him, paying him no mind as she opened up that bottle of champagne.
Foreplay like this was awesome. He loved the chase.
Logan didn’t know who he was kidding- it wasn’t like their “thing” was remotely special anymore. She had slept over far too many times to count. He was her rebound guy, after all. Carmen’s taste in men hadn’t improved after that Tad shithead, so she looked for comfort in a familiar face.
Truth be told, he never thought he would ever fuck Carmen Ruiz. Yes, she had been a resident hottie at Neptune High, but, like Meg Manning before her, had been untouchable. They had hung out, even paired up for classes, but he never thought of her like that. Even after the whole Popsicle debacle, he had kept his distance.
Then, years passed and he ran into her at Chasm. She a waitress and he a patron. Their first time was an accident- a random go on the beach after too many beers and other alcoholic beverages. He wasn’t drunk, but she was inviting, so he gave in.
Surprisingly, he enjoyed her company, and even offered to beat up her shitty boyfriend. She had laughed, and it was enough for him.
Deep down, he appreciated the friendship that came with his thing with Carmen. It really wasn’t just sex, they were legitimately friends. He always looked out for her, and she had his back just the same. She never expected anything in return, and that alone made her different than ninety percent of the girls who tried to get into his bedroom.
Ultimately, Carmen Ruiz was cool. He liked how chill she was about everything, they never needed to have long conversations about their feelings. It was wonderful.
But Carmen wasn’t the reason why he was so angry.
“Enjoying yourself?” Logan called over the music, propping his feet up on the coffee table in front of his large couch.
She nodded, halting her dance for just a moment. “Dying yet?”
He smirked. “Take off your shirt and we’ll see.”
Carmen rolled her eyes, leaning over towards the cherry bowl, resting on the couch arm. She flung a cherry at him before continuing her dance.
Logan chuckled, catching the cherry before it could hit him, and tossed it into his mouth. “I’m expecting some serious fun soon,” he warned her.
“Patience is a virtue...” she sang quietly.
Of course, overanalyzing his relationship with Carmen was just a cover. Their thing was just that. Nothing more, nothing less.
But it kept him from thinking about Veronica Mars.
The revolving thoughts were what pissed him off. He didn’t need the drama that followed that girl around. He didn’t need the drama that inevitably smacked him in the face when he was around her. For years, he had done everything differently, had relationships that were the exact opposite of the one he had with her, just to avoid the pain and the heartache that came with being around Veronica Mars.
He just wanted to move on. And yet, after nearly ten years, she had found him without even trying.
She was still as beautiful as ever, if a bit worn. She had gained a bit of weight in all the right places, and her hair was still long and soft. She still smelled wonderfully. She still had a smile that made him want to have it just for himself. She still fit into his arms perfectly. Her eyes were still ice cold. She was still witty in an insecure way.
She was also kind of pathetic.
Logan didn’t want to waste time thinking about Veronica, not when he had survived for so long without her and her baggage. She had nearly destroyed him all those years ago- no. She hadn’t destroyed him. He had ruined himself. However, he had allowed himself to be affected by her in such a way...
He didn’t want to experience that, ever again. Not when he finally had his life in order, everything packaged and labeled and lined up neatly with care. Everything was perfect and without complications, just the way he liked it.
He was living the fucking American dream.
He didn’t want to fucking think about Veronica Mars anymore. He didn’t want to worry about her anymore, either. He just wanted to live his perfect, uncomplicated life, just the way he liked it.
“Are you thinking about Veronica?”
Logan blinked in annoyance at the sound of Carmen’s teasing tone, and he shot her a glare, jumping to his feet. “No.”
“I can tell, you know. You get all intense...” her eyes lit up with a certain naughty playfulness. “It’s kind of hot.”
He chuckled, not knowing what else to do as he started to pace around the coffee table. “You’re warped.”
“Mm...it’s okay, you know,” Carmen continued, her words breathless gasps as she jumped. “You were in love with her-”
“For those of us playing the home game, were happens to be the keyword,” he snapped. He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “She looked odd.”
Carmen popped a cherry in her mouth, frowning. “Depressed.”
“Yeah.” Logan glanced at her, stopping in his tracks. “What do you think?”
“About Veronica or in general?”
“Veronica.”
Carmen shrugged, returning to her game.
Logan nodded, inhaling deeply. “You’re a big help, princesa.”
She rolled her eyes, coming to a stop. She took a moment to regain her balance, giving him a tiny smirk. “Why don’t you come over here?” she asked in a low voice.
He smiled slowly, moving towards her. “You’re ready to play?”
“As long as you play nice...”
Logan eyed her, hooking his finger underneath the band of her underwear. “I always play nice.” There was a hard knock on the door, and he froze, glancing over his shoulder. His eyes narrowed. “What the hell.”
Another sharp knock echoed through the condo, and he let out an annoyed huff, walking to the door.
Carmen rolled her eyes, beginning to jump again. “Don’t take too long.”
“Uh huh,” Logan flung the front door open, blinking as he came face to face with Dick Casablancas. Dick, who currently looked like he had been sleeping in his car. “Dude. Are you drunk?”
“Dude. My lady kicked me out because of this stupid-” Dick ran a weary hand over his face, holding up his cell phone. “You need to call Parker. And tell her to stop fucking calling me. She’s getting me in trouble with the missus.”
Logan’s eyes narrowed. “Why is she calling you?”
“Because you won’t answer your fucking phone, that’s why.” He held up his hand before Logan could respond. “And before you start bitching, I tried to call you myself, but I got your voicemail. So, shut the fuck up.”
Logan sighed. “What’s the problem?”
“Are you avoiding her?”
“No...” he trailed off, shrugging. “I’ve been busy. I’ll call her in the morning,” he paused, a frown playing on his lips. “Veronica’s in town.”
“Veronica? Rich-dude-kryptonite Veronica?”
“Yes.”
“Huh.” Dick shook his head. “Listen, fucking call Parker now, she’s driving me nuts. She’s acting like your mom, and she’s acting like MY mom, and that’s not hot,” he gave Logan a knowing look. “And that sucks, ‘cause Parker’s too hot to be a grown man’s mommy, dude.”
Logan gave Dick a hard look before glancing over his shoulder at Carmen. “Don’t talk about her like that, man,” he mumbled.
Dick peered over Logan’s shoulder, giving Carmen a bright smile. “Hola, Carmen!” Carmen waved at Dick absently, and his smile grew as he glanced at her chest. “It’s kinda cold tonight, isn’t it?”
Logan smirked at Carmen’s scowl, before facing Dick. “Classy,” he said matter-of-factly, closing the door so only he was visible. “Are you done?”
Dick groaned. “I still can’t believe you’re banging Carmen Ruiz. Give some of the little guys a shot, man.”
“She chose me, my friend,” Logan said proudly. Dick was quiet for a moment, and for that moment, Logan was almost fearful as he stared into Dick’s eyes. He knew that look, that devious look. “What.”
“So...” Dick cringed playfully. “Mind if I take a crack at Ronnie? I haven’t seen her yet, but she’s probably still a hottie-”
“Stop before I make you regret it,” Logan said sharply. “Good night.”
“You’re just greedy, man.”
Logan grinned. “Get some sleep. I’ll call Parker in the morning, and then we’ll hang.”
Dick tilted his head, trying to keep eye contact with Logan even as the door started to close. “Don’t ditch me, dude!”
Logan nodded, shutting the door in Dick’s face. Another problem averted for the time being. Now he really needed a distraction. A pleasant one, at that. No more worries or obligations or reminders or forgotten memories or any other headaches.
That column could be written tomorrow. It could wait.
He turned to Carmen with a flourish, sauntering to the couch. “Done torturing me?”
Carmen stopped bouncing, giving Logan a wicked little smile as she took another sip from her champagne bottle. “Just how bad do you want it?”
“I’ll fold and say pretty damn bad,” he replied, gently taking the bottle out of her hand and setting it down.
Carmen smiled as Logan cupped the back of her neck, bringing her down. His lips ran over her skin, and she gently touched the side of his face, pulling back. “Listen, we can do this another time,” she said, her eyes with a hint of concern. “We can just talk, you know? We can talk about random crap, about Veronica-”
“Veronica?” Logan frowned, confused. “Veronica who?” he lunged forward, grabbing Carmen’s thighs and throwing her over his shoulder. A smile played on his lips as she squealed, and he started for the bedroom.
* * * * *
“Veronica! Breakfast!”
Veronica’s eyes opened slowly and she blinked, stifling the yawn threatening to escape. Her bleary eyes focused on her alarm clock, noting the time. 7:22am. It was definitely way too early for this crap, especially from Harmony. “Yeah,” she muttered to herself, covering her eyes with her hands.
Another restless night, another night of counting the cars that drove below her window. She had slept in her old bedroom for a week now, and each night brought fewer and fewer hours of sleep.
Her dad had finished with his job in Napa and had come home to a house full of awkwardness, with Harmony watching television and Veronica locked in her bedroom. This trend had continued for the rest of the week. Veronica didn’t bother denying to him that she and Harmony weren’t getting along, he would see right through her lies anyway. She was certain that anything that came out of her mouth would sound like she was attacking Harmony, and she decided that she didn’t want to get into an argument with her father so early into her indeterminate stay.
Harmony wasn’t that bad, in all honesty. Veronica knew Harmony was trying. She cooked, cleaned, and attempted conversation, but Veronica just wasn’t having any of it. She didn’t want to tell Harmony about what had been going on for the last seven years, and she definitely didn’t want to confide in someone who had just entered the picture. Deep down, she knew the only reason Harmony was being nice to her was because she held the privileged title of Keith’s Only Daughter. Still, Harmony attempted to bond, and Veronica continued to rebuff her.
If Veronica weren’t so miserable, she would’ve felt bad for Harmony.
Veronica also hadn’t given her father the details of how she spent her time during the last week. She wasn’t sure he would be pleased to know she was busy looking up jobs in Nevada and New Mexico and had already gotten an offer to be an investigator in Crescent Valley for less money than she ever made working for her father. Somehow, she didn’t think telling her dad that she was getting ready for The Great Escape, Part Two was the best way to start any conversation.
Honestly, his anger and/or shock would’ve been unwarranted- what exactly did he expect to happen? She was feeling- again- like an outcast, and he hadn’t exactly welcomed her back with open arms. She tried not to anticipate the argument before it happened. After all, she hadn’t left yet. She was depressed and lonely, but she was still there.
She had also been staring at Logan’s business card for embarrassingly long stretches of time, and fought the sporadic urges to give him a call. Despite the fact that she was still kicking herself over her faux pas a week ago, she was still shocked to find him on her mind when she wasn’t stressing over the rest of her situation. His name sat there, mocking her with its shiny writing and the rejuvenated man behind the name, and she almost went mad with confusion and curiosity. However, she didn’t call, not wanting to seem desperate. In turn, he didn’t call her even once, and she had to keep reminding herself that it was because she never gave him her phone number, and not because he just wasn’t interested in getting it.
Regardless, she refused to appear desperate.
Desperate for what, she wasn’t sure. A friend, someone to keep her company, someone to join her in her misery, whatever. She just knew she liked what she had seen in the restaurant, even though she was still skeptical of whether Logan’s behavior was permanent or just a phase.
In this new Neptune, she was kind of hoping it was just a phase- at least being disappointed by Logan would be a welcome familiarity.
Despite all of the thoughts running through her head, what really disturbed Veronica was the fact that her father had kept in close contact with Logan and didn’t feel the need to tell her. She had told him to look after Logan, and she hadn’t heard a thing since. Betrayal was the first emotion to come to mind- apparently, it wasn’t important to let her know that her ex had cleaned up, graduated, and got a job.
Everyone had just moved on and forgotten about her. It was far more upsetting than she would ever admit.
Seven Years Ago
“Look, you don’t have to come. I...I’m going whether you agree or not, because I need to get out of here before I jump off the Coronado Bridge, so if you don’t want to go, maybe we should just break up so you won’t be waiting for me because I’m not coming back. I’m just trying to be fair, okay? I know you have your own priorities, but for my own sanity, I need to go.”
Veronica inhaled deeply, her rehearsed speech now out and left floating in the tension of the room. She swallowed hard, her eyes settling on Piz, who continued to stare at his lap and definitely not at her. He was as silent as he was when she first started talking, and it was beginning to unnerve her.
A part of her was angry that the only safe haven on campus just happened to be in Piz and Wallace’s dorm, and she was even angrier when she realized that Wallace wasn’t even there to comfort her, since he was currently at one of his Invisible Children meetings.
She couldn’t go anywhere without getting stared at. Whispers and giggles followed her wherever she went, and it was like she never left Neptune High. She almost expected Madison and her ilk to show up in one of the bathrooms, writing her phone number on the wall beneath an untrue proclamation of how many guys she had given head to.
Frustratingly, Piz still wasn’t talking.
The awkwardness from the whole altercation in the cafeteria wasn’t really there when she gave Piz a hello kiss, and if he was annoyed or angry with her, he wasn’t showing it. Really, he had no reason to be pissed off- she didn’t do anything wrong. She had smiled at Logan- so what? Piz had nothing to be upset about.
She honestly didn’t know what Piz’s reaction was going to be. After all that had happened, she felt she owed Piz the courtesy of informing him of her plans. Beyond all the politeness and the rules of being a good girlfriend, she just didn’t want to leave town by herself. She couldn’t ask her father to leave, Wallace wouldn’t go, and she couldn’t even dream of asking Mac. Obviously, Parker and Logan were no-go’s, and Veronica realized that she didn’t really have other people to turn to.
She nodded to herself, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. “Piz.”
Piz blinked, finally lifting his gaze and focusing on her. “Y-Yeah?”
Veronica let out an impatient sigh, her arms falling at her sides. “Are you going to come with me or not?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.
Truth was, she was terrified. She was about to leave her home permanently for the first time ever, and she was now asking her boyfriend of a couple of weeks to more or less move in with her. From second base to sharing space on the bathroom sink. It had taken her months to leave a change of clothes at Logan’s place, and that was after about three break-ups and reunions, several near-death experiences, and countless “I love you’s” and sleep overs. She was more than terrified. She was scared to death.
“I’m trying to be fair to you, but if you don’t want to come with me, I understand- you have your own internship to do and I definitely don’t want to stop you but I don’t want you to think that I’m pushing you away because I’m definitely not-”
“Veronica.”
“Piz, I don’t want you to hate me, but I have to go, so I’ll understand if you want to break up and do your internship. No hard feelings-”
Piz laughed slightly, giving her a shrug. “Veronica, I’ll go.”
She blinked, surprised, and found herself staring at him rather dumbly. “What?”
“I’ll go with you.”
Veronica laughed nervously, shoving her hair behind her ears. “But what about your internship-”
He climbed to his feet, walking towards her. “Veronica, there will be other internships...Hearst kind of sucks, anyway, and I just don’t want to lose you or our thing together.”
Still stunned and unsure of what else to do, she gave him a relieved smile as he embraced her, her arms wrapping around his waist. “Are you sure you’re just not going because you think the big bad FBI will sweep me away?” she teased gently.
He didn’t respond, his fingers running through her hair, and her smile faded.
“I’m going because I think I’m falling in love with you,” Piz finally mumbled against her hair, holding her tighter.
Veronica nodded, her smile fading completely. Out of all the things she wanted and needed for him to say, that definitely wasn’t it. She felt her face grow hot, and she was certain Piz could see her panic as he cupped her face. She blinked, hoping the fear was gone when he gazed into her eyes, but she quickly shut them as he leaned down, kissing her softly.
He pulled back slightly, giving her a faint smile. “Are all the bugs gone?” he asked softly.
“Yeah,” she smiled anxiously. “Why?”
He shrugged. “Well...stupidity from outside parties shouldn’t stop the inevitable, right?”
Veronica gave him a suggestive leer, fighting back the nervous giggles threatening to escape her. “What exactly do you have in mind, Piznarski?”
Piz didn’t respond, his mouth pressing against hers firmly.
She kissed Piz back, already convincing herself that this was all normal, that new couples made these kinds of decisions all the time. He guided her to his bed and she let him, her fingers grasping onto his shirt tightly as she tried to forget that this was going to be their first time, not allowing to let the anxiety take over.
This was normal. Eventually, new couples had sex, and she was surprised to be more prepared for it than she thought she would be. She sighed when his lips pressed against her neck and she was actually going to enjoy this, she was sure of it. It all felt good and not weird and, really, nothing was more normal and carefree than having sex in your boyfriend’s dorm. It beat worrying about mobs and sex tapes and her father being in trouble with the authorities. She welcomed the distraction.
Her hands pulled at his t-shirt and she blocked out the dueling worries in her head, focusing on what was happening then and there- not on the state of her life and the fact that she was eventually going to have to tell her father of her plans.
Now
“Veronica! Breakfast!”
Veronica grit her teeth at the sound of Harmony’s husky yell, throwing her blanket off her body in a huff. “I’m COMING!” she shouted, sitting up swiftly.
“Veronica!”
She froze, knowing her father’s warning tone all too well. She forced a tight smile on her face, inhaling deeply. “Yes?”
“You need to come right now. Your food’s getting cold!”
Veronica fought the urge to roll her eyes, climbing to her feet. “Can’t I at least shower, first?” she muttered, running a hand through her unruly hair as she padded to the bathroom.
Clearly, her father and Harmony had used up all the hot water, and Veronica closed her eyes tightly through the ice cold stream, trying to will some heat onto her body as she scrubbed her skin. She dipped her head under the water, gasping as the cold water hit her scalp and slid down her body, and before long, she was shivering.
Fate was already shitting on her, she didn’t see why it had to allow her a warm shower all of a sudden.
She didn’t look at the mirror as she brushed her teeth and tied her wet hair into a ponytail. A part of her didn’t want to see how she knew she looked- dead, sickly, pale, miserable. No reminders necessary.
Veronica walked to the counter in the kitchen, winding her hair into a bun as she approached the counter. She gave both Harmony and Keith a small smile as she slid into her seat. “Good morning,” she said stiffly.
Keith didn’t look up from the sports pages, reaching for his glass of orange juice. “Morning.”
Veronica’s smile faded as she glanced down at her plate, a hearty helping of scrambled eggs and thick slices of ham. “I don’t eat ham,” she said automatically.
Keith looked at Harmony, who flushed red, before turning to Veronica, giving her a firm stare. “Then just eat the eggs.”
With a short nod, Veronica picked up her fork, digging into the eggs. “Ran into Logan at this restaurant. Chasm?” she said, trying to keep her voice light.
“Oh?”
Veronica nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me you guys had really kept in touch?” she laughed after Keith gave her a puzzled look. “When we talked on the phone?”
“Considering all our conversations were always under five minutes and usually were about the same thing, there wasn’t really any time-”
“You didn’t think that information was important enough to tell me?” she cut him off sharply.
“You didn’t think you quitting your job and breaking up with Piz was important enough to tell me?” Keith shot back, giving her a hard look.
Veronica’s jaw set, not wanting to get into an argument then and there with her father. True, their conversations had consisted of the awkward “how are you, fine, how’s life, fine” for seven years, but somehow, the whole thing with Logan seemed like news of a different level. She knew she should’ve made more of an effort to reconnect with her father over the years, but between the fear of what she would find out and the fact that her life was having more downs than ups, she had decided it was best for them both if they kept their conversations simple.
Now, she was regretting it.
“There wasn’t much to tell,” she said shortly. “We just broke up, I just quit my job.”
Keith stared at her for a long moment, and she caught him trying to see through her lie. “Okay.”
She set down her fork, glancing from Keith to Harmony. She was just going to bite the bullet and ask exactly what she had been wondering for the last week. “Okay, honestly- do you guys even want me here?” she chuckled nervously, almost afraid of their answers and growing more panicked by their blank expressions. “I’ll find a place to stay if I’m barging in on your-”
“It’s not that,” Harmony interjected, looking slightly embarrassed when both Keith and Veronica looked at her. “It’s just...I don’t think we’re used to having permanent company after six years of being alone. It’s going to take some getting used to.”
Veronica glanced at Keith, looking for confirmation of Harmony’s words, and was relieved when he finally nodded, avoiding her gaze. “Are you guys sure? I can look somewhere else...”
“No,” Keith said quickly. “No. You’re staying here until you get on your feet.”
She frowned slightly, eyeing her father almost suspiciously and waiting for him to reveal his true feelings about the situation. Instead, he gave her a warm smile, and she couldn't stop the faint thrill that ran through her at the sight of it. Maybe he wasn’t as mad as her as she thought.
With a faint grin, she picked up her fork and started to eat. “What are you guys doing today?” she asked lightly.
“Working at the art gallery,” Harmony said, climbing to her feet. “In fact, I’m going to be late,” she gave Keith a quick kiss on the forehead before racing for the bathroom.
“I’m working at the office,” Keith said, continuing before Veronica could speak. “Why don’t you keep yourself busy? Go shop downtown, be normal.”
Veronica’s fork dropped with a clang, and she gave her father a slight glare.
* * * * *
Logan stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, a sigh escaping him. This definitely wasn’t the way to start out a day. He had bags under his eyes, his back was sore, his hair was a mess, and he looked tired as hell. Sure, he hadn’t gotten much sleep, but it was his own fault. A shower was going to have to fix all his problems.
He reached for the electric razor on the counter next to the sink, his eyes drifting down, then back up at his reflection. The last time he had shaved was about two weeks ago, and he couldn’t say he was dying to get rid of the stubble. With a press of his lips, he pulled his hand back, running it through his hair. Maybe he would shave it off another day.
A hot shower managed to soothe the tension in his back, and he noted as he dressed that he was about a good hour early for work. He glanced at his watch as he headed out the door, wondering if he could catch his favorite gamer before she reached the bus.
The forecast was warm and sunny, and he couldn’t say it suited his mood. He had been in a funk since running into Veronica just a week ago, a funk he hadn’t been able to shake off. Certainly, it wasn’t Veronica’s presence that was causing the mood swing, rather, he realized it was her mood that had drastically changed his.
Unfortunately, she was a dark grey rain cloud in his warm and sunny life, and he didn’t know how to rid her from his thoughts. Concerned. He was concerned, and maybe just a bit annoyed. He had a life, a regular routine, and Veronica had definitely thrown his everyday into a figurative twist. The voice in his head told him to just let it go, that she would be gone in a couple of days and everything would go back to normal.
Considering Keith hadn’t informed him otherwise, Logan took that as a sign that Veronica was, for the time being, there to stay. As much as he cared for Veronica, he couldn’t help but associate her with suffocating love, pain, and slamming doors. He didn’t need it in his life.
A small smile came upon Logan’s face as he drove, spotting the tall brunette walking down the sidewalk, a khaki bag flung over her shoulder. He slowed beside the girl, lowering his car window and giving her a grin. “Hey there, beautiful!” he called. “Wanna ride?”
Heather Button bit back a smile, glancing over her shoulder at Logan’s truck. “Good morning, old man!”
“Morning, college girl.”
She gave him a roll of her eyes. “Not yet- I’m still in orientation, remember?”
“But you made it,” he paused, cringing playfully as he pulled to a stop. “I suppose it’ll be creepy to offer you some candy?”
Heather laughed, jumping off the curb and swinging the car door open. “Shush, people will talk,” she gasped as he held up a tiny, makeshift bouquet of colorful Tootsie Roll lollipops. “Oh my God, you were serious about the candy!”
Logan jerked the candy out of her grasp. “Aced the French?”
She gave him a pleased smile as she climbed into the car. “Oui, j'ai fait, mon ami.” she snatched the candy out of his grasp before leaning over and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “You’re awesome!”
He smiled, jerking back slightly when her lips got too close to his, giving her a faintly anxious nod as he reached into the backseat, his eyes still on the road. “Look what else I got you-” He pulled out a grey t-shirt, tossing it on her lap. “It’s customary to get a shirt when you become a Hearst co-ed...now you’re official.”
Heather grinned, putting the shirt on over her tank top. “How’s it look?” she asked, striking a pose.
“You look like a girl gone wild,” Logan turned the corner, heading for Heart, and a small smile played on his face. “XBox after class?”
“Don’t you have to work, gramps?”
“Excuse you, I have what’s called a lunch break.”
* * * * *
Veronica slipped into Chasm, dodging the laughing teenagers walking out with their strawberry smoothies. The café, as usual, was packed with locals and college kids. The television propped against the wall was tuned to some coverage of Fashion Week, and from the speakers came the end of a We Are Scientists song, and the beginning of an Amy Winehouse one.
The sight of this New Neptune still shocked her. Everyone was happy and the town was full of young money-makers and hipsters. The latest mayor had definitely revitalized the town and turned it into the hippest place to live this side of San Diego. Even the River Styx was bought out and replaced with a sports bar.
Veronica surveyed the crowded restaurant, looking for the only familiar face. She found her near the bar, leaning on the counter as the bartender slid her a glass of water. Another younger waitress with glasses appeared behind the counter, and Veronica noted that she looked like a taller, slimmer Mac. The teenager told Carmen something, and Carmen pointed to the table across the room, and the young girl was off.
She hadn’t spoken to Carmen since that day in the restaurant, not wanting to rehash Carmen’s exchange with Logan or the fact that she hadn’t waited for Carmen’s shift to end before bolting. Most of all, she didn’t want to keep explaining why she was back home or how it happened or anything in that area.
At the moment, all she wanted was a fruit salad and a smoothie.
With a shake of her head, Veronica walked over to the bar, quickly gathering her nerve. Carmen didn’t seem to notice her, continuing to chat with the bartender, sipping her drink. “Carmen.”
Carmen turned, a happy little grin coming upon her face at the sight of Veronica. “Hey, girl! Good morning! What’s going on?”
Veronica smiled briefly, appreciating the genuine niceness coming from Carmen. It was a welcome break from the cautious tiptoeing in her own home. “Just wanted some breakfast.”
“Okay, what do you need?”
She shrugged. “Fruit salad and a banana smoothie?” she watched as Carmen nodded, quickly writing down her order and handing it to a passing waitress. “I’m sorry.”
Carmen’s brow furrowed. “For what?”
“For...” Veronica trailed off, sighing as she gripped the back of a chair. “For leaving without saying goodbye. It was rude and I was tired...”
“Oh, that’s fine. I figured as much-” she smiled as the bartender slipped a cherry into her water, and she grabbed his wrist. “Veronica, this is Chad- the hottest gay man you will ever meet.”
Veronica waved, forcing a grin on her face. The last thing she needed was a big introduction to the newest Neptune residents, but she chose to be polite. She couldn’t really afford to be a bitch in her current state. “Hi.”
“So you’re Miss Veronica, huh?” Chad said, looking her up and down. “You’re a bit of a legend around these parts. I heard about the popsicle and Carmen, here.”
Carmen nodded, looking briefly shamed. “Veronica had my back...”
“Well, then I think she deserves a free meal,” Chad winked at Veronica before walking across the bar and serving a waiting customer.
“I’m serious about that,” Carmen said, facing Veronica once more. “You had my back, and it...it was really a learning experience. I mean, I became more open and vocal now because of it,” she grinned. “Honestly, could you have seen me like this ten years ago?”
Veronica chuckled, remembering the whole thing between Carmen and Logan and no, she definitely couldn’t have seen Carmen like that ten years ago. She dug the pads of her fingers into the chair she was holding, clearing her throat. “Um, listen, Carmen. I just wanted to...” she trailed off, an anxious laugh escaping her as her mouth started to move before she could stop it. “Logan used to be my boyfriend and I know you guys have a thing...but I’m not saying that I’m upset or anything-”
Carmen laughed, blinking in shock. “Oh my God, Veronica- are you seriously annoyed that we’re messing around?” Veronica didn’t respond, and Carmen face lit up in an amused dismay. “Veronica! Are you serious?”
Veronica’s jaw clenched, and she forced a tight smile. She knew she should’ve stopped talking, tried to prevent herself from shoving her own foot deeper into her mouth, but of course, her mouth now had a life of its own and was not concerned with keeping what was left of Veronica’s self-respect intact. “He used to be-”
“But it was almost ten years ago! I honestly thought you would’ve been cool with it- you went out with Duncan and Logan, remember? And didn’t you leave town with that other guy, anyways?”
Veronica laughed, not knowing what else to do. “I-I don’t see what one has to do with the other...”
Carmen glanced around the restaurant as if someone would come to her defense, before fixing Veronica with a gaze that Veronica closely associated with a sort of confused pity. “I honestly had no idea you would’ve been so up-in-arms about this, Veronica. I mean, really, no one thought you were ever coming back. We all thought you were gone forever.” she gave Veronica a small, faintly embarrassed smile. “Besides...I’m not exactly dating him. It’s just a friendship. And sex-”
Carmen suddenly gasped, grabbing Veronica’s arm. “You don’t still have a thing for him, do you?”
“What?” Veronica let out a loud laugh, shaking her head. “No! No...I just-”
“You just thought you would mark your territory without peeing on his leg?” Carmen smirked at Veronica’s look of shock, squeezing Veronica’s arm comfortingly. “Veronica, I’m sorry if my thing with Logan freaked you out, but honestly, it’s been years. And we all thought you weren’t coming back. Ever.” she said gently. “I’m sorry if this is awkward, but...get over it.”
Veronica stared at Carmen for a long moment in shock, processing her words. Finally, she nodded, her lips pressing together tightly. “You’re right,” she said, trying to keep her voice even. “You’re absolutely right. I-I mean, exactly who am I to expect Logan to stay alone-”
“Trust me, he didn’t. There was this one girl-”
“Of course there was...” Veronica said with a high-pitched laugh. She felt sick, the last thing she needed or wanted to do was discuss all of Logan’s little skanks over at stage left. “That’s enough, Carmen.”
“Yeah,” Carmen said, her mouth puckering into a frown. “Don’t worry about it, though. Logan and I...we’re nothing serious.”
“Thank you, Carmen,” Veronica said, unable to keep the sharp tinge from her voice. She turned, pushing past patrons toward the door, ignoring Carmen’s shouts.
She didn’t want to eat, anyway.
She couldn’t reach her car fast enough, and the aimless drive around helped her mood slightly. She didn’t know what came over her- why should she care about Logan and Carmen? None of that mattered, even if she was dying to know what Carmen saw in Logan that she was missing. Seven years had passed, and while she really had no desire to go through the epic pain and bloodshed of any sort of a relationship with Logan, she still wondered why all these girls were trying to jump on him. It couldn’t have just been the sex. Had he changed that much?
After several minutes of kicking herself over her run-in with Carmen, Veronica decided to elevate her mood by shopping at the discount clothing store. She could get a cheap outfit and voila, instant mood lifter.
It didn’t take long for her to realize that she was lost.
Pulling over out of the way of traffic, Veronica licked her lips, clutching the steering wheel firmly. She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply through her nose. She wasn’t about to have a panic attack because she couldn’t find the discount boutique. There was no way in hell she was going to have a breakdown because she was lost in the middle of Neptune. No way in hell.
“Everything’s okay. Everything’s fine. I’m okay. I’m going to be just fine. Everything’s cool...” she whispered to herself, her voice shaking. “No one hates me, I am loved. No one hates me...”
She inhaled deeply, blinking back the tears threatening to break through. “I am not a failure, this is just a setback in my path. I am loved, I am not a failure, everything’s okay,” she shut her eyes tightly, clutching the steering wheel painfully taut. “Everything’s just cool- I’m cool- everything’s fine-”
The sharp knock to her window startled her, and she jumped with a gasp. Her eyes flew open, and she glanced at the driver’s side window, spotting Logan peering in, a faintly concerned look in his eyes.
Perfect.
A strong annoyance filled her at the sight of him, and she hastily pressed the button on her door that lowered the window. “Are you following me?” she snapped.
Immediately, the concern was gone from Logan’s eyes, and he shot her a look. She continued to glare at him, and he looked at her oddly, before gesturing down the street to a sleek building. “That’s where I work,” he said simply. “Talk Magazine. I work on the tenth floor, where I have worked for the last three years. My boss’ name is Harrison Stewart and his daughter is the receptionist. Your dad got me the job. My coffee mug has lightning bolts.”
She blinked rapidly in embarrassment, noticing that he was in black dress pants and a white shirt with a loose, dark red tie. His hair was neatly done, and he clutched a metal coffee thermos in his left hand. He was indeed heading to work. “Sorry.”
He nodded, even though the annoyance wasn’t fully gone from his eyes. “What are you doing this fine morning?” he asked dryly.
“I got lost looking for the discount boutique,” she mumbled, wiping at her eyes.
Logan shook his head, a sigh escaping him. “Closed down about six years ago, replaced by a comic book store.”
She nodded, stifling the frustrated scream that was threatening to break free. “Of course, it was.”
He frowned. “Wait- how the hell did you get lost?”
Veronica let out an exasperated sigh, not in the mood to participate in Logan’s Q&A. “I left that restaurant you like and was driving like normal people do, was thinking and not paying attention, and I got lost.”
Logan glanced to his left, biting back a smile as he faced her once more. “Chasm is, like, four blocks away. You were driving around in circles,” he chuckled, his smile fading when he caught her glaring at him. “Yeah, no boutique.”
She scowled, hating him then for finding her misfortune so damn amusing. It was just like high school all over again. Something bad happened to her, and he found the humor in it. It was the second time in one week that he had made light of her very real problems, and yes, this was a minor blip of a problem, a stupid case of misdirection, yet she still felt slighted.
“There’s a dELiAs two blocks down-”
“I don’t want a dELiAs,” Veronica said sharply. “I want the boutique.”
He frowned, glancing down at his thermos. He seemed unfazed by her snipe as he lifted his head, eyes on her once more. “Want some pink lemonade?” he asked, lifting his thermos and wiggling it at her. “I made it.”
“You did not.”
“You’re right, I didn’t.”
She sniffed, glancing up at him. Their previous exchange, and her bad mood, was almost immediately forgotten as she gratefully sank into the absurdity of their conversation. “Who did?” She waited for his answer, already assuming, hoping it wasn’t Carmen.
He shrugged, looking faintly amused. “Mr. Kool-Aid?”
A laugh escaped Veronica then, and she nodded, pushing her hair behind her ears. “Your kitchen skills have gotten better since I last-”
“Listen, I have to get to work,” Logan said abruptly, straightening up. He nodded down the street. “The dELiAs is all you’re gonna find, V.”
She blinked, startled by the sudden shift in discussion. “O-Okay.”
“Okay,” he nodded once, waving his thermos at her. “See ya.” With that, he walked away from her car, waiting for a moment before jogging down the street.
Veronica watched him go, once again not turning back to look at her, and she felt that strong depression overwhelm her. She didn’t want to shop, she didn’t want to eat, she didn’t want to be normal.
Nothing about her life was normal and would never be normal again, and she didn’t want to even try to fit in. She had spent the last fifteen years trying to fit in, and she was just tired. Logan didn’t want anything to do with her, not even her father wanted to bother with her.
She didn’t want to feel awkward anymore. All she wanted to do was disappear.
Seven Years Ago
“Veronica, stop for a second.”
“I have to go.”
Keith watched as Veronica tugged her suitcase down the hall, Backup right behind her, and he could feel his chest tightening with a specific kind of dread. She had told him that she was leaving Neptune permanently just fifteen minutes ago, and it was safe to say he was extremely close to freaking out and tying her down before she did something she would regret. “Veronica.”
She gritted her teeth, yanking the suitcase to the door before opening it. “Dad, I...I can’t stay here. I have the internship and I’m just tired. I can’t.”
“Veronica-”
“Dad, I just need you to let me go.”
“You’re moving out on a whim, Veronica. You’re leaving with a boy you’ve been dating for a couple of weeks- can’t you see why I can’t agree to this?”
“I do see,” she said solemnly. “But I still have to go.”
He nodded, vowing to keep steady, not to panic. She was a big girl and she could do whatever she wanted, but he knew if he could just convince her to relax and think things through, then everything would be all right. Everything had to be. “Veronica. Just sit down and talk to me. If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine. Just sleep on it-”
Veronica chuckled dryly, shaking her head as she walked past her father towards her bedroom. “I can’t.”
Keith followed her, watching as she opened her desk drawer, pulling out a metal box. Her hands shook, and all he wanted to do was hold her, but he remained stuck to the spot, afraid to even touch her. “What if I wanted you to stay?” he asked quietly.
“Dad,” her voice trembled, and her lips pressed together as she pulled out a small envelope, papers and items falling to the table. He knew what that envelope was- identification papers. Legal documents. Social security card. She was really leaving. “Just...please. Let me go.”
“Veronica.”
Veronica walked over to her father, averting her gaze from his as she tilted up on her toes, leaving a gentle kiss on his cheek. “I love you.”
He embraced her, hating when she stiffened in his hold. “Just think carefully about this.”
She pulled away, shaking her head as she pushed her hair behind her ears. “I need you to look after Logan for me, okay?” she said quietly, her words rushed. “I really need you to.”
Keith didn’t bother hiding his surprise at her request, knowing full well that this wasn’t the kind of request Veronica made every day. “I-I don’t-”
“Please,” she sighed heavily, her shoulders slouching. “I have to go.”
“Veronica.”
“I love you, dad.”
“Veronica.”
“I’ll call you when I get there.”
“Please.”
Veronica’s gaze finally locked on his, and he could see the tears welling in her eyes and threatening to spill over. “I love you.”
Before he could respond, she had walked away, her head lowering as she reached the door. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, anything to make her stay, but he stayed silent as she picked up her suitcase, lugging it out on the porch.
Keith knew then that he had to say something. Now or never. He needed to, or she was just going to walk out. He didn’t even know if she was going to come back or if this departure was just an overreaction and she would return in time for dinner. “I love you, honey.”
She hesitated there, and hope filled him as he waited for her to turn, to announce she was reconsidering. Then, she bit her lip, shutting the door with a slam.
He stood there for a long moment that turned into five minutes, then ten, waiting for the front door to open and for Veronica to reappear. The sun hadn’t even set, and his daughter was gone for good. He had expected this much later, when she had a well-paying career and a well-adjusted life, when he was confident in letting her go.
Yet, now, he wasn’t ready. He definitely wasn’t ready.
Keith turned, walking further into Veronica’s room and glancing around. Her room was in an almost neat disarray, and although he wasn’t sure how that was possible, she had managed. He sank to the computer chair, his eyes landing on her green graduation cap, forgotten next to a picture of herself and Wallace.
His gaze shifted to the metal box left opened on the table, and he picked up the stack of photographs still in it.
Lianne. Lianne and Veronica at various ages. Himself, Lianne and Veronica. Lilly. Duncan. Wallace. A lot of scenery shots of the beach. Logan.
Keith’s eyes narrowed as he dropped the pictures, focusing on the one in his hand. Veronica and Logan on what looked like a bed, both in their pajamas and looking just woken, smiling for the camera that Veronica held over their faces. Not exactly the way he wanted to have the point drilled in that his daughter had sleepovers at her ex-boyfriend’s place.
A part of him felt a gnawing guilt at looking through Veronica’s personal, private items, things that she had obviously kept hidden from view. However, it was out in the open, now. If she had wanted it, she would’ve kept it.
He picked up a piece of paper, deep square creases from being folded and opened and folded again, a letter that had been read continuously. His eyes skimmed over the page, a typical, ordinary love letter from Logan to his daughter, and he quickly averted his gaze to the bottom of the page when the letter got too personal, too intimate for his eyes.
His gaze fell on the last sentence before the end of the letter, a scrawled, almost rushed You make me happy.
With a shake of his head, Keith gathered up all of these keepsakes that Veronica had kept and treasured for years, placing them back into the metal box and closing it. He slipped it into her drawer and shut it before standing and walking out of her bedroom.
When Veronica returned, that box would be there for her.
* * * * *
Piz glanced anxiously at Veronica as he drove, watching briefly as she stared absently out the window. She had been silent since she got into her- now their- car, allowing him to drive and pick the radio station the entire trip.
“Veronica?”
She blinked, slowly turning toward Piz and offering him a weak smile. “Yes.”
“We can turn back any time you want,” he said gently. “We don’t have to go.”
“Yes, we do,” she nodded to herself, turning back to stare out the window. “I’ll be fine, just keep driving.”
Piz didn’t respond, returning his attention to the road and focusing on the task ahead and not on the clearly troubled girl next to him. She was off in her own world, and he didn’t know how to help her, if she even wanted help. So, he chose to ignore it, telling himself that everything would be okay once they got out of Neptune.
Veronica sighed, a faint, sad smile on her lips. “I don’t know how-” she froze when Piz suddenly reached over, raising the volume of the radio. Her smile faded as she returned her gaze to the passing scenery. “Everything is going to be just fine,” she whispered.