Permanent
Title: Permanent Pairings: Gen *cough*
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 901
Summary: Written for the challenge over at spn_cues which can be found here. Dean misses a lot about Sam as he gets older, but there's one thing that counts.
A/N: I don't know if the universe thinks it's being funny by having my first post to lj be a gen fic but even though it's short and is probably horrible (oh the joys of writing insecurities) I'm happy with it so there's always that. This also turned out way more angsty than I ever even intended, and shorter but what ya gonna do? *shurgs* Oh, and the title is taken from the song Permanent by David Cook (since I suck at picking titles as much as I do with summaries >.>)
They hadn’t done this in years and to be honest it was something he’d missed; missed watching Sam’s face light up, missed watching his lips twist into a smile as they spread out in a field side by side, staring up and watching the last of the fireworks burn out and sizzle. He missed Sam’s carefree laugh and his grin that could light up the world if he let it-- but what he really missed was looking over and seeing the chubby face that was his twelve year old brother because when he looked over now it hit him that Sam wasn’t twelve anymore. He was sixteen, skinny, and already at eye level with Dean, who really didn’t want to think about the fact that Sammy was still growing, was going to pass him up soon and have Dean be the one looking up.
Their shoulders were brushing together now that they were the same height, sharing body heat as the fireworks explode into an array of sparks and colors that light up the sky and cast the skeleton trees around them into haunting shadows. Sam is practically vibrating with excitement and this was something that Dean missed too. He hadn’t really seen anything from Sam that wasn’t anger or frustration these days and it had been wearing down on Dean.
It was stripping him down piece by piece every time his brother snapped and sneered at their Dad, every time he slammed a door or whined about their “fucked up life” and as much as Dean loved the kid he wanted to strangle him too, just shut up the litany of normal, normal, normal and I want, I want, I want that poured endlessly from his mouth for just one minute of peace. One minute of silence back when they were little and Sam used to look up at him with wide eyes that told Dean he was Sam’s whole world and then some.
That was sort of the reason why they were out here in the first place. Dad gone on a hunt down in Colorado, has been gone for two weeks now, leaving Dean with a There’s money in the coffee can. Be gone for two, three months tops. Watch out for Sammy. speech, something so ingrained and instinctive that it took Dean a while to realize he wasn’t going along for the ride, his dad already out the door and driving off before he realized he was being left behind with a pissed off Sam and too little money in a town small enough that everyone was curious about the two kids left alone in the crappy apartment. Sam had bitched and whined for days, picking and complaining about the food Dean set in front of him and raging about how Dad had left them alone near the holiday’s again, before Dean snapped and yelled at Sam, told him to Quit your freaking bitching or I swear to God, Sam before he grabbed his jacket and left.
He didn’t make it very far when the guilt set in deep and ugly in his belly even though he knew Sam was being a brat, and before he knew it he had a box of fireworks he was pretty sure were shipped straight from Mexico tucked under his arm and was jiggling the keys in the lock to the apartment. When he flung the door open Sam had looked up and paused, anger slowly slipping from his face as he looked up at Dean with eyes wide, staring at the box like he wasn’t sure if it would attack him or not.
“What, you never seen a box of fireworks before, dork?” Sam glared at him even when his lips were already curling into a smile that Dean didn’t get to see nearly enough of these days, and he’d drank it up like the starved man that he was.
It wasn’t hard to find a field out here in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere, not even one that wasn’t occupied since it seemed half the town was outside lighting them all up with lights and smoke and laughter. When Dean thought about how he’d have to scrimp a bit on food he caught sight of Sam kneeling on the ground, grin stretching to his ears as he lit five at once and scampered back a few steps before jogging back to Dean, and the booming sound of his laugh was enough to tell Dean that he’d gladly go hungry just to see his brother look him in the eye with that look that said You’re my whole world, you’re everything.
“Thank you, Dean.” Sam said, his voice low and soft as they watched the light expand and flicker. Dean glanced down, saw the smile on Sam’s face that hadn’t been there for so long, and when Sam looked up Dean smiled too. He wrapped an arm around broadening shoulders and rested his cheek in hair that smelt nice. It smelled like Sam and brother and friend and home. He’d murder Sam if he ever said anything about this later, but Dean breathed in deep and pulled Sam in closer-- let himself be happy just this once, just for a little while longer.
“You’re welcome, Sammy.” And the lights dimmed until there was none but it was okay, because right now Dean had his brother, and that was all that mattered.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 901
Summary: Written for the challenge over at spn_cues which can be found here. Dean misses a lot about Sam as he gets older, but there's one thing that counts.
A/N: I don't know if the universe thinks it's being funny by having my first post to lj be a gen fic but even though it's short and is probably horrible (oh the joys of writing insecurities) I'm happy with it so there's always that. This also turned out way more angsty than I ever even intended, and shorter but what ya gonna do? *shurgs* Oh, and the title is taken from the song Permanent by David Cook (since I suck at picking titles as much as I do with summaries >.>)
They hadn’t done this in years and to be honest it was something he’d missed; missed watching Sam’s face light up, missed watching his lips twist into a smile as they spread out in a field side by side, staring up and watching the last of the fireworks burn out and sizzle. He missed Sam’s carefree laugh and his grin that could light up the world if he let it-- but what he really missed was looking over and seeing the chubby face that was his twelve year old brother because when he looked over now it hit him that Sam wasn’t twelve anymore. He was sixteen, skinny, and already at eye level with Dean, who really didn’t want to think about the fact that Sammy was still growing, was going to pass him up soon and have Dean be the one looking up.
Their shoulders were brushing together now that they were the same height, sharing body heat as the fireworks explode into an array of sparks and colors that light up the sky and cast the skeleton trees around them into haunting shadows. Sam is practically vibrating with excitement and this was something that Dean missed too. He hadn’t really seen anything from Sam that wasn’t anger or frustration these days and it had been wearing down on Dean.
It was stripping him down piece by piece every time his brother snapped and sneered at their Dad, every time he slammed a door or whined about their “fucked up life” and as much as Dean loved the kid he wanted to strangle him too, just shut up the litany of normal, normal, normal and I want, I want, I want that poured endlessly from his mouth for just one minute of peace. One minute of silence back when they were little and Sam used to look up at him with wide eyes that told Dean he was Sam’s whole world and then some.
That was sort of the reason why they were out here in the first place. Dad gone on a hunt down in Colorado, has been gone for two weeks now, leaving Dean with a There’s money in the coffee can. Be gone for two, three months tops. Watch out for Sammy. speech, something so ingrained and instinctive that it took Dean a while to realize he wasn’t going along for the ride, his dad already out the door and driving off before he realized he was being left behind with a pissed off Sam and too little money in a town small enough that everyone was curious about the two kids left alone in the crappy apartment. Sam had bitched and whined for days, picking and complaining about the food Dean set in front of him and raging about how Dad had left them alone near the holiday’s again, before Dean snapped and yelled at Sam, told him to Quit your freaking bitching or I swear to God, Sam before he grabbed his jacket and left.
He didn’t make it very far when the guilt set in deep and ugly in his belly even though he knew Sam was being a brat, and before he knew it he had a box of fireworks he was pretty sure were shipped straight from Mexico tucked under his arm and was jiggling the keys in the lock to the apartment. When he flung the door open Sam had looked up and paused, anger slowly slipping from his face as he looked up at Dean with eyes wide, staring at the box like he wasn’t sure if it would attack him or not.
“What, you never seen a box of fireworks before, dork?” Sam glared at him even when his lips were already curling into a smile that Dean didn’t get to see nearly enough of these days, and he’d drank it up like the starved man that he was.
It wasn’t hard to find a field out here in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere, not even one that wasn’t occupied since it seemed half the town was outside lighting them all up with lights and smoke and laughter. When Dean thought about how he’d have to scrimp a bit on food he caught sight of Sam kneeling on the ground, grin stretching to his ears as he lit five at once and scampered back a few steps before jogging back to Dean, and the booming sound of his laugh was enough to tell Dean that he’d gladly go hungry just to see his brother look him in the eye with that look that said You’re my whole world, you’re everything.
“Thank you, Dean.” Sam said, his voice low and soft as they watched the light expand and flicker. Dean glanced down, saw the smile on Sam’s face that hadn’t been there for so long, and when Sam looked up Dean smiled too. He wrapped an arm around broadening shoulders and rested his cheek in hair that smelt nice. It smelled like Sam and brother and friend and home. He’d murder Sam if he ever said anything about this later, but Dean breathed in deep and pulled Sam in closer-- let himself be happy just this once, just for a little while longer.
“You’re welcome, Sammy.” And the lights dimmed until there was none but it was okay, because right now Dean had his brother, and that was all that mattered.