Well, read through all four parts this morning. Nicely done. Rather than a time-line narrative from the start, filling in the bits and pieces of their lives through conversation and thoughts as we rode along, a lot like OS, and having it be mostly Ennis' story, also a lot like OS. And, liked your use of the "bit his lip"; at first it seems only Ennis uses it when he struggles to tell Jack what's in his heart, but then Jack did when Ennis finally spoke those three magic words.
Truly a special Father's Day that Ennis will remember for the rest of his life. Wonder how things will go in July, when Ennis brings Jack along to see Junior's play.
One little editorial thing: in Junior's letter to them should "... time, but until I met him, I know why.." read instead something like "...time, but now that I've met him, I know why..."?
Glad to see you're still writing here. Hope you continue to do so.
Comments 5
Junior is one smart kid. Awesome.
Jackie
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Cheers, Clara
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Mandi
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Well, read through all four parts this morning. Nicely done. Rather than a time-line narrative from the start, filling in the bits and pieces of their lives through conversation and thoughts as we rode along, a lot like OS, and having it be mostly Ennis' story, also a lot like OS. And, liked your use of the "bit his lip"; at first it seems only Ennis uses it when he struggles to tell Jack what's in his heart, but then Jack did when Ennis finally spoke those three magic words.
Truly a special Father's Day that Ennis will remember for the rest of his life. Wonder how things will go in July, when Ennis brings Jack along to see Junior's play.
One little editorial thing: in Junior's letter to them should "... time, but until I met him, I know why.." read instead something like "...time, but now that I've met him, I know why..."?
Glad to see you're still writing here. Hope you continue to do so.
Thanks again.
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