A List of Available Smiles - part four

Sep 20, 2012 15:34


A List of Available Smiles
Part Four



Nothing really changes after that. )

Leave a comment

Comments 22

holly115 September 21 2012, 14:44:31 UTC
I really want to leave a comment that reflects how I feel after reading this but I cannot find the words
Honestly, this was amazing
It was beautiful and amazing and by far the best fanfiction I have ever read
Honestly, I don't know how to emphasise how good I found this but it truly is amazing
(I'm using the word 'amazing' too much. I'll stop)
I can't say I've ever been in Dan's situation, not even close
Yet your writing enabled me to feel exactly what Dan was feeling
It was so beautifully poetic
And the actual relationship...
The way you chose to present it was just...
I am really struggling for words
So yes, I adored reading this and will be adding this to my memories
I have no doubt that I'll read it again <3

Reply

ficster28 September 21 2012, 15:18:13 UTC
Thank you. The best fanfiction you've read - that means a lot. :) I'm really glad I've managed to portray depression so you felt you could empathise - both I and my beta reader, favoriteword, have gone through it, so I never really had someone read it who hadn't. It's nice to know that it doesn't immediately collapse if you don't have first hand experience.

Reply


lacerationgvty September 22 2012, 07:08:33 UTC
I most certainly am not crying right now, okay, what would possibly give you that idea ( ... )

Reply

lacerationgvty September 22 2012, 07:18:56 UTC
Part 2: The Feels ( ... )

Reply

ficster28 September 22 2012, 12:53:24 UTC
The first day I properly realised I had depression was also the day I started to get out of it. I looked out the bus window one morning and thought "Wow, the grass looks green today ( ... )

Reply

lacerationgvty September 22 2012, 16:29:28 UTC
It's a strange thing to try and wrap my head around, only seeing things for what they are and not what they could be. Trying to imagine not seeing anything at all is a peculiar feeling ( ... )

Reply


spibsy September 22 2012, 09:50:56 UTC
i am... breathless. i'm trying to put into words how brilliant this portrayal was, but i don't think i can do the emotion i'm feeling justice? like, i can feel every ounce that you put into this and i'm near tears right now because of how well you described that feeling about how depression isn't sadness, really - it's nothingness, apathy, feeling empty and knowing you shouldn't but not really knowing what you should or how you should get back to where you were before.

this was amazing and i'm still so emotional about it. i really want to give this the long, descriptive, fantastic comment it deserves, but i'm just so in awe of how well you wrote this, all the delicate things in it that i can't really come up with how to properly tell you how brilliant you are.

Reply

ficster28 September 22 2012, 13:19:26 UTC
...if you were having problems writing that comment, well, I'm having problems responding to it. I really don't know what to say. You really summed up what I think depression is - I think I have a poem I wrote at the age of thirteen somewhere, and it literally includes the words 'feeling nothing, feeling empty'. So... yeah. Great minds think alike. And fools rarely differ. Let's go with the great minds.

*reads back* See, I told you I was having problems with this comment. I'll just leave it at thank you, and sorry I bugged you to read it!

Reply


sarcasticweathe September 26 2012, 20:53:17 UTC
Oh god that was ( ... )

Reply

Responding to all your comments here so as not to clog up your inbox! ficster28 September 27 2012, 11:26:18 UTC
Okay, first things first - you commented about where I split things up, e.g. that depression was first mentioned in the very last section of part one. I'd love to take credit for that, but it was kind of purely based on the fact that lj wouldn't let me put it in one big post! I didn't spend that much time on the chapter breaks. But still, that did work out rather fortuitously, didn't it ( ... )

Reply

Re: Responding to all your comments here so as not to clog up your inbox! sarcasticweathe October 2 2012, 20:07:03 UTC
Haha, well it was still very beautiful, so nicely done Livejournal :P ( ... )

Reply

Re: Responding to all your comments here so as not to clog up your inbox! ficster28 October 16 2012, 23:58:17 UTC
So a thing I apparently do is reread my stories whenever someone posts a link to them. Someone on tumblr just promo'd this story, and I ended up here, and I reread this comment and remembered that I was going to podfic this.

So yes, this is a thing which is going to happen, now that I've been reminded.. Just to let you know.

Reply


Scary part_time_irish October 21 2013, 12:36:46 UTC
It is scary, how much of my Feelings are reflected in Dan's. I also read your letter, and thank you for showing me that I am not alone. I might not ever get over my depression, but I hope I manage to find a way to confront it, as you have done here.
I, myself, do not know the pain of not being able to cry. I've always been able to cry and to laugh and smile. But when did I last feel pure happiness? I can't answer that question. I cannot recall that feeling. I don't know when my depression started.

Again, thank you for this great story.

Reply


Leave a comment

Up