Vacillation and Volition, Chapter Six
Title: Vacillation and Volition, Chapter Six: Conversations over Curses
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Lucas Malory (OC), Charlie Weasley, Katie Bell
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,262
Author's Note: To read this story from the beginning, please click here.
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“And why is that people -” Charlie dodged a hex, “- have this romantic notion of dragon keepers? Women in particular. It’s not exactly a very glamorous - Aguamenti!”
“Protego!” The jet of water broke against the invisible shield surrounding Lucas. “Are you trying to drown me now?” He shook his head.
“Shut up,” Charlie laughed.
They were circling each other on the lawn behind the house, wands at the ready. December was already halfway passed, and while no snow had fallen, the grounds were still white from layers and layers of frost. The young men were moving quickly in the cold, their breaths rising like white clouds around their faces. They had taken to duelling on a daily basis now, both for fun and practice. Charlie, while by no means a bad dueller, was more of a hands-on man, a wizard of the kind that might toss his wand aside in favour of his fists. Lucas was well-practiced in duelling, his mother and grandfather had seen to that, but it had always just been for sport. And while this might look like nothing more than entertainment to an unknowing onlooker, they were both silently aware of how soon their sharpened skills might come in handy.
“Well, I suppose that dragons are dangerous,” Lucas pondered as he pretended to raise his wand to attack. “And so the people who work with them must of course be extraordinarily tough and talented.”
“CONFRINGO!”
Lucas just barely managed to escape the Blasting Curse, but he was still smiling at Charlie. “What? Wrong answer?”
“I was being serious,” Charlie said, giving Lucas a moment to compose himself.
“Not entirely serious,” Lucas protested with certainty. Nowadays, he didn’t have to make an effort to be aware of even the slightest shift in his friend’s emotions. It was no longer a question of intrusions or stolen glimpses, and Lucas was not examining feelings in the same way. Charlie had opened his heart to him, and now he was only listening, part of his consciousness always devoted to the man opposite him on the grass. It was much the same with Maximilian, and it had been with his mother, but this was still different somehow. Lucas had never had to create a bond with his family; it had been there since before he could remember being aware of his ability. Now, for the first time, he had experienced the pleasure of forging such a bond.
So this is friendship, he thought, perhaps for the thousandth time.
“Stupefy!” Charlie yelled, his warm laughter victorious as Lucas fell out of is reveries and onto the frozen ground.
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“Move your feet, Charlie.”
“I am moving my feet!”
“Not nearly quick enough - Lucas could stun you anytime he wanted! And Lucas, try to make it more of a stabbing motion when you do.”
“Aye, aye, ma’am,” Lucas smiled, and followed her advice. Unfortunately, Charlie was doing the same, so he missed.
“Ha!” his friend exclaimed, and they continued to circle each other.
Katie was wrapped up in an old fur coat she had found somewhere, and seated in a comfortable-looking chair of her own conjuring. It was the third time she had come to watch them duel, and Lucas knew that her presence had a positive effect on their work. Being stunned to the ground was not so bad when there were no witnesses, but considerably more embarrassing with even one spectator. And even though he had not seen a lot of her yet, Lucas had already come to respect Katie Bell. She seemed to possess all those feelings and thoughts that, to him, signified a true, good Gryffindor.
“Nice!” she commented on one of his non-verbal attacks, even though it wasn’t successful.
“Incendio!”
A blast of fire shot from Charlie’s wand, very nearly scorching the hem of Lucas’ robe.
“Aim higher!” Katie commanded.
“Yes, professor,” Charlie said, his brow sweaty and his breath short as he continued to move. “Since when are you such an expert, anyway?”
“I’m only repeating what Harry taught us back in the DA.”
“The DA?” Lucas wondered.
“Dumbledore’s Army,” Katie clarified. “Harry set it up with Ron and Hermione back in my sixth year, to teach us Defence when Umbridge wouldn’t.”
“Ah, yes, I remember hearing about that,” Charlie smiled, still with an eye on Lucas. “So Harry was a good teacher, then?”
Lucas, nearly forgetting about the duel, listened to Charlie and Katie talking about mutual friends. He could not deny that his curiosity was being tickled, hearing about Harry Potter; after all, how could it not be? Very little news had reached them here at Muriel’s farm, but it took only a stray copy of the Daily Prophet to tell that the whole wizarding world was still obsessed with learning about his whereabouts. Lucas did not normally bother himself with such things; the comings and goings of the outer world had been of very little significance to him both at Merridown and Hogwarts. But now, these people he heard about, they were no longer mere strangers. They were friends and family of people staying in the same house as him; they mattered to people who mattered to him. Undoubtedly, every witch and wizard out there had their own opinion of Harry Potter, but not even now did Lucas care about that. What interested him was to know what he was like, the young man whom Katie Bell had found worthy of her time and affection.
Blinking, he realised that Charlie’s attention had strayed further even than his own, and did not waste any time taking advantage of this.
“Petrificus Totalus!”
Thinking it would be sad to see Charlie with a sore back, Lucas caught him with a levitation spell before he hit the ground.
“Impressive,” Katie said with a wink.
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“What about women?” Charlie asked.
“Women?”
“Yes, you know, girlfriends and such. Did you ever have a proper one?”
“Not really,” Lucas shrugged, blocking off the would-be strangling vines that had sprouted from Charlie’s wand. “There were a couple of girls I spent some time with back at school, but… Well, I’m not sure how to put it…”
“Just spit it out,” Charlie urged, along with a badly aimed disarming spell.
“I won’t say that they didn’t live up to my expectations, but they definitely weren’t what I thought they would be.”
“Perhaps you picked the wrong girls,” Charlie smiled. “What Houses were they in?”
“Why? Does that make a difference? And besides, it was more them ‘picking’ me than the other way around.”
“Well, maybe it doesn’t make a difference, but I’ve found that most girls at least display some of the traits typical for their House.”
“That must be very helpful for you when trying to find a girlfriend in Romania,” Lucas teased.
“Shush, I’m trying to tell you something important here,” Charlie grinned. “Actually, I always fancied a girl from my own House. You know the typical Gryffindor - bold, funny, not exactly one to sit and mope in a corner.”
“If you say so,” Lucas nodded, and sent a Cutting Curse over Charlie’s head, simply to keep the game going.
“But even so, I always thought I’d marry a Hufflepuff. And you can wipe that disapproving look from your face, because there’s nothing wrong with Hufflepuffs. Imagine that - an ever loyal wife, someone who knows to appreciate the good things in life.”
“I think that a Ravenclaw would be perfectly able to do that too,” Lucas remarked, unaware that he was defending his House for the first time ever. “And, as a bonus, you would be with a girl you could actually have an intelligent conversation with.”
“Ha, imagine you with a Ravenclaw wife!” Charlie laughed. “I wonder who would bore the other to death first? No… Perhaps not a Hufflepuff either, but I could definitely see you with a Gryffindor girl. Or maybe a Slytherin, even… Someone who would keep you on your toes. Bring a little excitement into that dull, aristocratic world of yours.”
“If my world is dull, I think it’s less to do with girls and more to do with a sloppy duelling partner.”
“You think so, do you?” Charlie pretended to grumble, before charging at Lucas with all his might.
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“I wonder why they do it. Why they follow him.”
“You-Know-Who?”
“Yes.”
“Isn’t it obvious? They’re power-hungry beasts with pureblood-mania,” was Charlie’s plain answer.
“But why?” Lucas asked again, barely believing that he had someone he dared to voice this question to. “Why do they want power? Why is it so important to them?” He put extra emphasis on his questions with a Leg-Locker Curse.
“I don’t know,” Charlie admitted after unlocking his legs. “Perhaps that’s the point, that people like you and I aren’t supposed to understand. If we did, maybe we’d be like them.”
“So in order to understand evil, one must be evil?”
Charlie took a moment to ponder on this, while sending some well-aimed Binding Spells towards his friend. Then he shook his head.
“Not necessarily, I don’t think. I can understand motivation, and I can understand doing everything in your power for a cause, or a person. What I don’t get are the things that motivate them.”
“So there are actually things you would do anything for?” Lucas asked after Charlie had removed the ropes.
“Every wizard has a price, Lucas.”
“Hm.”
“Are you saying that you haven’t? Isn’t there something in your life that you would sacrifice everything for?”
There was no accusation in Charlie’s words, only interest. Lucas stopped and lowered his wand; he stood still in the bleak afternoon sun. Sensing that the duel was over, Charlie relaxed too, and waited for an answer.
But none came; Lucas simply shook his head, light hair falling into his eyes.
“I find it interesting that someone who is so aware of other people’s feelings can seem so empty of emotions himself.”
Lucas stared at Charlie; not only surprised by his statement, but because this was the closest anyone had ever come to acknowledging the strange ability he possessed. That, however, was not the part that troubled him.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not saying that you are, because I know differently, but you do come across as really cold. Unfeeling. Detached.”
“Why thank you.”
“Weren’t you listening? I said I know that’s not the case, but how you appear. And I can’t figure out why.”
“Maybe because that is who I really am.” Even his voice sounded hollow, then.
But Charlie laughed at that; a warm, unreserved laughter. “That is not who you really are. Trust me.”
“Charlie…”
“Hm?”
“I can’t actually think of anything I would sacrifice everything for.”
“Nothing?”
“Nothing. At least, nothing I would die for. Nothing I would kill others for.”
He felt the words himself, how they stabbed at his friend’s heart. He had known they would, and yet he had spoken. Charlie’s pain mixed with Lucas’ own regret, making it difficult to breathe.
“I’m sorry - I didn’t mean to -” he began, avoiding Charlie’s eyes and the shock he was sure to find there.
But Charlie held up his hand, interrupted Lucas’ apology. They were still facing each other on the lawn, both shivering from the impending cold of another winter night. Lucas attempted to push his own feelings aside to better know what was happening behind Charlie’s calm face. But there was little turmoil to be found there; he seemed to be just as composed as he looked.
“His name was Higgs,” Charlie said, drawing a deep breath of cool air and releasing it in an almost-sigh.
“The Death Eater?”
“If he was even initiated. He was with the Death Eaters, but even younger than me.”
“It wasn’t… Not Terence Higgs?”
Charlie nodded. “You remember him, too? Quite the Quidditch talent… I don’t know how many times I played him, and still I didn’t recognise him until - well, I don’t think it would have made a difference.”
“How come you…” Lucas let his question fade, unasked.
“My sister.”
Suddenly he felt it - the hurt, the guilt, the numbness; all of the things dammed up, held back and repressed in Charlie. All of it, almost spilling over.
“My little sister, Lucas. He, Higgs, he - I couldn’t - I really didn’t mean to do it!”
A weaker man may have broken down completely, but when Charlie burst inside, the only evidence visible to Lucas were some stray tears in his eyes.
“Damnit,” Charlie breathed, and blinked a few times before looking straight at Lucas, as if asking him for the forgiveness he had failed to find so far.
“I know you didn’t,” Lucas offered with the sincerity of a man who knows he speaks the truth, and he felt how the storm within his friend subsided, if ever so slightly.
“You can’t know that,” Charlie protested, but feebly. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“No, why would I do such a thing? Me, detached Malory?”
For a few moments neither of them moved or spoke, but they watched each other closely. A sound was heard in the distance, and Charlie broke their connection by turning his head to locate its source. Without thinking, Lucas slashed his wand through the air as if they were still duelling, and hit Charlie squarely over the chest with a Cheering Charm. Gasping for air after the strike, Charlie grinned madly. Knowing that his amusement was not only induced by magic, Lucas returned the grin.
“You ugly, ugly cheat, Malory.”
“Always at your service, Weasley.”
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