[DBSK] - [FIC][C] 4x DBSK Fly Like Rock Stars, & 1x They Experience It From the Other Side
complete
Disclaimer: clearly i don't own DBSK... not intended for profit, just for fun.
Rating: Gish?
Genre: fluff, crack
People: all 5 boys
Pairings: none really, i was thinking OTFamily
Warnings: none? oh, well there are OFCs in part 5, but they're a plot device. don't worry about it. ^_~
Beta: llamabitchyo
Notes: inspired by... the fact that i've been on a lot of planes lately. hahaha. and the story about how Glay was once late getting on a plane after a show in the US and when the attendant asked: "are you guys musicians?", teru replied: "oh, we're famous in japan". but later in his blog, he wrote: "maybe i shouldn't have said 'famous'. i didn't mean to be boastful."
^O^
1) Everyone loves you when you're famous.
Yunho was famous on all the Asian airlines. Wherever the boys flew, hostesses would fall all over themselves to bring him an extra blanket or an extra pillow, offer him extra dessert with his meal, or as many free cup noodles as he wanted in the middle of the night. They even made a universal pact to refrain from photographing the hideous faces he made while he was asleep… it was part of their union contract.
Jaejoong was the beloved of all customer service representatives everywhere, but particularly on airplanes. He was gracious and soft-spoken, always well-mannered. If he was having a bad day he would just curl up with his pillow and sleep. But of course, he was also generously plied with alcohol on each flight and he made for a very cheerful drunk… which probably helped his popularity more than anything else. The only other thing the flight attendants really had to do for him was to make sure they woke him up exactly forty-five minutes before landing so that he could pretty up.
If Jaejoong was the most beloved of all flight attendants, then Junsu was kind of the bane of their existence. He was very cute, very lovable, very polite… but if he was awake he was talking and if he was asleep he was rolling around in his seat and getting tangled in his blankets. He was kind of a nuisance really, and yet for some reason, no one ever stayed mad at him for more than a couple of seconds and he got his way all the damn time… even if he didn’t ask for it. For example, no one could ever explain why Junsu always went to sleep with his one allotted pillow but woke up with five all tucked in comfortably around him.
Yoochun and Changmin were the most respectful, most well-behaved, least high-maintenance, of the Dong Bang boys when in the air. This was because… they both burrowed into their respective blankets and slept from take-off straight through to landing. And that was why they always had extra cookies sprouting from their pockets and hats and bags when they de-planed.
Well, until Changmin figured it out. Then only Changmin de-planed with a plethora of cookies overflowing out of his pockets. This was because he started setting his alarm to wake up 20 minutes before landing so he could steal all of Yoochun’s extras.
2) The whole world waits for you.
“Are we running late? We’re running late. I know we’re running late. I knew we would. I should have called ahead to the airline. Dammit, you guys are seriously worse than children. It’s like herding mules.”
Junsu and Yoochun looked suitably chastised, although Junsu’s ‘sorry, I do feel bad about this’ face was quite cheerful and so Yoochun was poking his cheek gently while he was giving their manager his own contrite face (also cute and not particularly different from his usual expression).
“I was ready on time,” Yunho insisted in a whisper.
“You were supposed to get *that* one ready on time too!” Their manager jabbed a finger at Jaejoong who was sleeping with his head on Yunho’s shoulder and one hand gripping Changmin’s knee like their magnae was going to escape.
“What?” Yunho looked taken aback. “No, no… I didn’t sign up to get Jaejoong ready on time. Jaejoong gets ready on Jaejoong’s time. I thought you meant I had to get *Changmin* ready.”
“Changmin was late!”
Yunho shook his head furiously in denial. “Changmin was dressed and in the living room by 6:55am, just like you said he should be.”
Their manager blinked at him.
“Okay, so he fell back asleep, slid off the couch, and rolled under the coffee table. He did that all on his own. It is not my fault that we couldn’t find him for fifteen...”
Yunho thought about it for a second.
“--or twenty… ish… minutes.”
Jaejoong interrupted their conversation by slumping face-first into Yunho’s lap.
And their manager took a photo of it with his cell phone.
“His hair’s going to be a mess when he wakes up,” Changmin mumbled, not actually awake.
Their driver called ahead to the airport to beg them to fabricate some mechanical failure or whatever to delay the plane thirty minutes while their manager banged his head against the window of the van.
3) They all know your name.
“Would a Mr. Junsu Kim please come to the main check-in desk at Gate 23? Mr. Junsu Kim to Gate 23.”
Their manager stared at Junsu.
“Thank you, for keeping a low profile, Junsu,” he said.
“We’re in America,” he replied. “Who’s going to know it’s me?”
Junsu flashed a sunny smile and, after a beat, everyone in the VIP lounge smiled back at him. Well, everyone, that is, except for Changmin who was scowling because Junsu’s magic never worked on him.
“Did you leave your passport somewhere again, hyung?”
“Yes,” said Junsu, still smiling. “I just remembered that I left it in the men’s room.”
“Along with your boarding pass?”
“Oh.” Junsu looked contemplative for a minute. “Probably yes. How else would they know which Gate to call me to?”
Yunho stood up and held his hand out to Junsu.
“Come on. Bring your wallet so you have ID to reclaim your passport.”
“’kay.”
And the two left the lounge, hand in hand.
Girlish screams of, “Ohmygod, HoSu is real!”, were heard before the glass door closed behind them.
“Again, thank you for keeping a low profile,” their manager muttered to no one as he scurried after them with the wallets they’d both left behind with their groupmates.
“Hyung, get me a sandwich from Starbucks on your way back!” Changmin called out after their manager.
“And I want a latte! Grande and non-fat, but add whip!” yelled Yoochun.
“Hey… why’d he need to bring Yunho’s wallet too?” Jaejoong asked suddenly, all wide-eyed wonder.
The intercom system crackled to life again: “Would a Mr. Yunho Jung please report to the main check-in desk at Gate 23? Mr. Yunho Jung to Gate 23. Thank you.”
4) They all want a piece of you.
He didn’t mean to, he never meant to, but Jaejoong stumbled as he was returning to his seat from the washroom. He bumped into Junsu’s chair, jostling him awake, and then he ricocheted off across the aisle…
He missed the outstretched hand of their manager by mere centimeters…
Clutched at the curtain dividing Business Class from Economy…
And tumbled straight on through.
“Hyung!”
“Jaejoo-shit.”
Their manager had to bite his lip to keep from sobbing out loud as one of the most popular pop stars in all of Asia fell right onto two teenage girls who were seated in the first row of Economy.
And because life was just that awesome when one was the manager of DBSK, Junsu leaped up to save his hyung, managed to grab Jaejoong’s sleeve, and then proceeded to follow Jaejoong past the curtain and onto the laps of two other teenage girls… on top of Jaejoong.
Actually, Junsu hit a little old lady on his way down too.
There was a split second where their manager thought: “Ah, so this is where one would apply the term ‘FML’.”
But then he remembered that DBSK always seemed to operate on an entirely different, and sort of irrational, reality that transcended the bounds of all mortal logic. Or something like that.
So he smacked Yunho awake and threw him out into the fray to clean up the mess his groupmates had created. Because, really, there was nothing he could do to calm the escalating hysteria that Yunho couldn’t do better.
“Be glad you didn’t know enough Korean back then to volunteer to be ‘leader-sshi’,” he said when Yoochun cracked an eye open to see what the fuss was all about.
Both men sighed in mutual understanding. Then, simultaneously, they leaned back in their seats, closed their eyes, and turned up the music playing through their headsets.
Because, this actually happened at least once every other flight.
In fact, their manager was starting to think that Jaejoong did it on purpose. Except last time they flew back from Japan, it had been Changmin who’d accidentally tripped into Economy and their manager knew that Changmin was not the type to do attention whoring things like that.
Probably.
Anyway, the girls usually fainted from shock before they could start screaming, and the adults in the mix were always easily charmed by one or a combination of: 1) Jaejoong’s (contrived) contrite pout, 2) Junsu’s (not contrived) bright smile, or 3) Yunho’s polite words and embarrassed chuckle. If all else failed, the boys had markers or pens somewhere on them and there was nothing a free-for-all autograph signing and photo op didn’t fix.
And if things got desperate enough, Jaejoong usually offered kisses… even though that always seemed to increase the bedlam.
But at least he kept trying.
And truthfully, the fainting and catatonic states resulting from the Jaejoong!kisses did help lessen the noise.
5) The "Nobody Knows Your Name and Everyone Makes You Wait for Them" remix edit.
The flight was delayed for thirty minutes because some stupid rock band or pop idol or what have you was running late and Captain Jung was beyond upset.
“People think they can just delay planes because they have money? No one else’s time is as important as theirs? What about the other five hundred people on this plane? We have nothing better to do than wait around for them?”
Changmin reached over to gently pat his co-captain on the shoulder.
“There, there, hyung. It’s not like we’ve never been delayed before. Just pretend it really is a mechanical error… refueling? De-icing? De-icing is always a fun one because that can take anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour if it’s cold enough.”
Yunho pointed out the cockpit window at the bright July sun.
“I said pretend.”
“They’re probably going to ask us to ‘hurry up’ when they get here too. Because obviously it’s our responsibility to fix it if they’re running late.” Yunho continued to mutter to himself as he re-did his pre-flight checks to kill some time.
Changmin tried to put on a happy face for his hyung but he wasn’t really feeling very optimistic about this either. Celebrities always harshed his flight buzz. He stuffed a twinkie in his mouth and tried to eat his frustration away.
“Shim Changmin!”
Changmin chewed as fast as he could.
But Jaejoong was already in the cockpit and it was too late.
“Are you eating what I think you’re eating? Spit it out!”
Jaejoong held out an air sickness bag and batted at the back of Changmin’s head until he obediently leaned over and spat out the remains of his snack.
Yunho bent low and studiously fiddled with the buttons on his control panel.
“These things are toxic, you know that right? You’ll ruin your pretty body with them.”
Changmin blinked.
“Here’s a little sandwich to tide you over.”
It was a 12” sub.
“I love you, hyung,” said Changmin with almost crushing sincerity and seriousness.
Jaejoong kissed Changmin on the top of his head, patted Yunho’s hair, and turned back towards Business Class where he was going to have the delightful job of placating the passengers under his care… the ones he could already hear complaining about the unexpected delay even though they weren’t officially late yet.
“By the way… you know who we’re waiting for, right?”
The two pilots looked up simultaneously.
“Cassiopeia. That girl group.”
And, as if on cue, Yoochun came bursting through the doorway, almost braining Jaejoong in the process.
“Hyung! Hyung, you have trade duties with me. I’m begging you. If you love me at all as your best friend, your brother from another mother, the only crew member on this plane who wears the exact same size clothes as you so we can switch uniforms really, really easily whenever we want because you’re also the head host… you will switch into economy for me, right? Please. I love you.”
Jaejoong, Yunho, and Changmin merely blinked at him in response.
Yoochun tugged on Jaejoong’s sleeve a little bit.
“Hyung? You’ll do me this favour, right? You have to! It’s freaking Cassiopeia! Cute little Eunjung!” Yoochun flailed his hands like he was squishing a beach ball. “Athletic, wholesome Mina, icy princess Yeonyi…” Yoochun’s eyelids fluttered shut as he clutched his hands tight to his chest. “Exotic rapper, Sara, and,” Yoochun’s eyes flew open and his gaze burned bright like the sun, “Sexy, sexy leader Sooyeon with legs that won’t quit and those perky little-”
Jaejoong shoved Yoochun back out into the corridor and closed the door to the cockpit.
“Sorry about that, Captain Jung. I don’t know what got into him. We never trade jobs. Nope. Never. Because that’s against regulations. And Changmin, you heard nothing about sexy whatever. You are young and pure and untouched. Got it?”
Yunho stared at Jaejoong for a second before turning back to finish his pre-flight check, and Changmin discreetly kicked his stash of trashy, but explicit, romance novels under his chair before giving Jaejoong a cheerful thumbs up.
When Jaejoong re-joined his fellow customer-facing staff outside the cockpit, he was not at all surprised to find Yoochun still in Business Class, but he was a bit alarmed to see that his best friend seemed to be trying to convince Eunjung of Cassiopeia that he was the official ‘seat tester’ and that she should sit on his lap while he ‘tested her seat’.
“Magnae is 16~” he sang under his breath as he casually sidled over to join the group of celebrities. “Illegal in most countries~”
“No law in the skies~” Yoochun sang back.
Jaejoong hit him, pretty hard, on the back of the head.
“Nothing to stop me from throwing you off the plane then?”
Yoochun smiled winningly and gently eased himself away from Eunjung.
Unfortunately, any clever retort he might have given was cut off by the arrival of a frazzled looking gentleman with an incredibly irritated expression marring his cute face. He was pushing Yeonyi in front of him and dragging Sara behind him by the strap of her Luis Vuitton bag.
“Junsu-oppa,” Yeonyi tried to twist around to address the man pushing her, “I wasn’t done getting ready! I’m only wearing two necklaces and you know my signature look is four!”
“Please.” Mina rolled her eyes. “We all know that what you really want to say is that you didn’t have time to put a second set of false eyelashes on your right eye so now you’re asymmetrical.”
Yeonyi let out an indignant shriek and would have thrown her little beaded clutch at her groupmate except for the fact that her manager had wisely plucked it out of her hand a mere second before.
“Both of you sit down right now; Magnae, take the middle. We’ve already caused everyone a lot of trouble.”
All five Cassiopeia members blushed and turned as one to bow in apology to their fellow patrons in the Business Class cabin, mumbling polite apologies in their softest and sweetest tones. Eunjung made sure to open her eyes really wide and blink very deliberately just like her image coach had taught her to maximize her cuteness and contriteness quotients. Sooyeon straightened from her bow in such a way as to show off her prime assets, and she winked saucily at an older gentleman in seat 3C… moves also taught to her by an image coach.
“You’re a bad influence on baby Eunjung,” said Sara, in English.
“I think it’s too late,” Yoochun whispered to Sara, also in English, as Eunjung pulled her sweater down… and down again to expose a little bit of her lacey bra.
Sara gave Yoochun a Look, but Yoochun just grinned at her until she gave in and smiled a tiny, shy, little smile back at him.
Unfortunately, their Significant Eye Contact Moment was broken by “Junsu-oppa” shoving Sara into row five and then throwing Sooyeon in after her.
“Sorry for the delay. Thanks for all your hard work. Please stop creeping on my charges.”
Yoochun arched an eyebrow.
“And probably don’t creep on me either. But if you’re, like, one hundred percent straight, then sorry I assumed, just stay away from the girls then.”
Yoochun licked his lips.
“Ah, I knew it,” said the manager in a resigned-sounding monotone. “I am never wrong.”
“Junsu-oppa!” Sara reached across Sooyeon to tug on his sleeve. “I saw him first!”
“No one’s fighting with you, Sara. I’m not gay,” he replied as he bent over to tuck his bags firmly under the seat in front of him.
But Yoochun saw the blush on Junsu’s cute little face just before he hid behind his carry-on luggage.
And so Yoochun turned to Jaejoong with shining eyes and his hands clasped together just below his chin, and he said in his most rapturous voice: “I’m going to have a threesome with exotic rapper, Sara, and the Cassiopeia manager…”
Sara threw her headphones at him, and Junsu accidentally-on-purpose hit Yoochun in the crotch with the buckle of his safety belt.
“They’ve already fallen for my charms,” said Yoochun, beaming.
Jaejoong took off the blazer that marked him as a Business Class host and shoved at Yoochun, hard.
“Don’t get yourself trapped in the toilet like last time.”
END
Disclaimer: clearly i don't own DBSK... not intended for profit, just for fun.
Rating: Gish?
Genre: fluff, crack
People: all 5 boys
Pairings: none really, i was thinking OTFamily
Warnings: none? oh, well there are OFCs in part 5, but they're a plot device. don't worry about it. ^_~
Beta: llamabitchyo
Notes: inspired by... the fact that i've been on a lot of planes lately. hahaha. and the story about how Glay was once late getting on a plane after a show in the US and when the attendant asked: "are you guys musicians?", teru replied: "oh, we're famous in japan". but later in his blog, he wrote: "maybe i shouldn't have said 'famous'. i didn't mean to be boastful."
^O^
1) Everyone loves you when you're famous.
Yunho was famous on all the Asian airlines. Wherever the boys flew, hostesses would fall all over themselves to bring him an extra blanket or an extra pillow, offer him extra dessert with his meal, or as many free cup noodles as he wanted in the middle of the night. They even made a universal pact to refrain from photographing the hideous faces he made while he was asleep… it was part of their union contract.
Jaejoong was the beloved of all customer service representatives everywhere, but particularly on airplanes. He was gracious and soft-spoken, always well-mannered. If he was having a bad day he would just curl up with his pillow and sleep. But of course, he was also generously plied with alcohol on each flight and he made for a very cheerful drunk… which probably helped his popularity more than anything else. The only other thing the flight attendants really had to do for him was to make sure they woke him up exactly forty-five minutes before landing so that he could pretty up.
If Jaejoong was the most beloved of all flight attendants, then Junsu was kind of the bane of their existence. He was very cute, very lovable, very polite… but if he was awake he was talking and if he was asleep he was rolling around in his seat and getting tangled in his blankets. He was kind of a nuisance really, and yet for some reason, no one ever stayed mad at him for more than a couple of seconds and he got his way all the damn time… even if he didn’t ask for it. For example, no one could ever explain why Junsu always went to sleep with his one allotted pillow but woke up with five all tucked in comfortably around him.
Yoochun and Changmin were the most respectful, most well-behaved, least high-maintenance, of the Dong Bang boys when in the air. This was because… they both burrowed into their respective blankets and slept from take-off straight through to landing. And that was why they always had extra cookies sprouting from their pockets and hats and bags when they de-planed.
Well, until Changmin figured it out. Then only Changmin de-planed with a plethora of cookies overflowing out of his pockets. This was because he started setting his alarm to wake up 20 minutes before landing so he could steal all of Yoochun’s extras.
2) The whole world waits for you.
“Are we running late? We’re running late. I know we’re running late. I knew we would. I should have called ahead to the airline. Dammit, you guys are seriously worse than children. It’s like herding mules.”
Junsu and Yoochun looked suitably chastised, although Junsu’s ‘sorry, I do feel bad about this’ face was quite cheerful and so Yoochun was poking his cheek gently while he was giving their manager his own contrite face (also cute and not particularly different from his usual expression).
“I was ready on time,” Yunho insisted in a whisper.
“You were supposed to get *that* one ready on time too!” Their manager jabbed a finger at Jaejoong who was sleeping with his head on Yunho’s shoulder and one hand gripping Changmin’s knee like their magnae was going to escape.
“What?” Yunho looked taken aback. “No, no… I didn’t sign up to get Jaejoong ready on time. Jaejoong gets ready on Jaejoong’s time. I thought you meant I had to get *Changmin* ready.”
“Changmin was late!”
Yunho shook his head furiously in denial. “Changmin was dressed and in the living room by 6:55am, just like you said he should be.”
Their manager blinked at him.
“Okay, so he fell back asleep, slid off the couch, and rolled under the coffee table. He did that all on his own. It is not my fault that we couldn’t find him for fifteen...”
Yunho thought about it for a second.
“--or twenty… ish… minutes.”
Jaejoong interrupted their conversation by slumping face-first into Yunho’s lap.
And their manager took a photo of it with his cell phone.
“His hair’s going to be a mess when he wakes up,” Changmin mumbled, not actually awake.
Their driver called ahead to the airport to beg them to fabricate some mechanical failure or whatever to delay the plane thirty minutes while their manager banged his head against the window of the van.
3) They all know your name.
“Would a Mr. Junsu Kim please come to the main check-in desk at Gate 23? Mr. Junsu Kim to Gate 23.”
Their manager stared at Junsu.
“Thank you, for keeping a low profile, Junsu,” he said.
“We’re in America,” he replied. “Who’s going to know it’s me?”
Junsu flashed a sunny smile and, after a beat, everyone in the VIP lounge smiled back at him. Well, everyone, that is, except for Changmin who was scowling because Junsu’s magic never worked on him.
“Did you leave your passport somewhere again, hyung?”
“Yes,” said Junsu, still smiling. “I just remembered that I left it in the men’s room.”
“Along with your boarding pass?”
“Oh.” Junsu looked contemplative for a minute. “Probably yes. How else would they know which Gate to call me to?”
Yunho stood up and held his hand out to Junsu.
“Come on. Bring your wallet so you have ID to reclaim your passport.”
“’kay.”
And the two left the lounge, hand in hand.
Girlish screams of, “Ohmygod, HoSu is real!”, were heard before the glass door closed behind them.
“Again, thank you for keeping a low profile,” their manager muttered to no one as he scurried after them with the wallets they’d both left behind with their groupmates.
“Hyung, get me a sandwich from Starbucks on your way back!” Changmin called out after their manager.
“And I want a latte! Grande and non-fat, but add whip!” yelled Yoochun.
“Hey… why’d he need to bring Yunho’s wallet too?” Jaejoong asked suddenly, all wide-eyed wonder.
The intercom system crackled to life again: “Would a Mr. Yunho Jung please report to the main check-in desk at Gate 23? Mr. Yunho Jung to Gate 23. Thank you.”
4) They all want a piece of you.
He didn’t mean to, he never meant to, but Jaejoong stumbled as he was returning to his seat from the washroom. He bumped into Junsu’s chair, jostling him awake, and then he ricocheted off across the aisle…
He missed the outstretched hand of their manager by mere centimeters…
Clutched at the curtain dividing Business Class from Economy…
And tumbled straight on through.
“Hyung!”
“Jaejoo-shit.”
Their manager had to bite his lip to keep from sobbing out loud as one of the most popular pop stars in all of Asia fell right onto two teenage girls who were seated in the first row of Economy.
And because life was just that awesome when one was the manager of DBSK, Junsu leaped up to save his hyung, managed to grab Jaejoong’s sleeve, and then proceeded to follow Jaejoong past the curtain and onto the laps of two other teenage girls… on top of Jaejoong.
Actually, Junsu hit a little old lady on his way down too.
There was a split second where their manager thought: “Ah, so this is where one would apply the term ‘FML’.”
But then he remembered that DBSK always seemed to operate on an entirely different, and sort of irrational, reality that transcended the bounds of all mortal logic. Or something like that.
So he smacked Yunho awake and threw him out into the fray to clean up the mess his groupmates had created. Because, really, there was nothing he could do to calm the escalating hysteria that Yunho couldn’t do better.
“Be glad you didn’t know enough Korean back then to volunteer to be ‘leader-sshi’,” he said when Yoochun cracked an eye open to see what the fuss was all about.
Both men sighed in mutual understanding. Then, simultaneously, they leaned back in their seats, closed their eyes, and turned up the music playing through their headsets.
Because, this actually happened at least once every other flight.
In fact, their manager was starting to think that Jaejoong did it on purpose. Except last time they flew back from Japan, it had been Changmin who’d accidentally tripped into Economy and their manager knew that Changmin was not the type to do attention whoring things like that.
Probably.
Anyway, the girls usually fainted from shock before they could start screaming, and the adults in the mix were always easily charmed by one or a combination of: 1) Jaejoong’s (contrived) contrite pout, 2) Junsu’s (not contrived) bright smile, or 3) Yunho’s polite words and embarrassed chuckle. If all else failed, the boys had markers or pens somewhere on them and there was nothing a free-for-all autograph signing and photo op didn’t fix.
And if things got desperate enough, Jaejoong usually offered kisses… even though that always seemed to increase the bedlam.
But at least he kept trying.
And truthfully, the fainting and catatonic states resulting from the Jaejoong!kisses did help lessen the noise.
5) The "Nobody Knows Your Name and Everyone Makes You Wait for Them" remix edit.
The flight was delayed for thirty minutes because some stupid rock band or pop idol or what have you was running late and Captain Jung was beyond upset.
“People think they can just delay planes because they have money? No one else’s time is as important as theirs? What about the other five hundred people on this plane? We have nothing better to do than wait around for them?”
Changmin reached over to gently pat his co-captain on the shoulder.
“There, there, hyung. It’s not like we’ve never been delayed before. Just pretend it really is a mechanical error… refueling? De-icing? De-icing is always a fun one because that can take anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour if it’s cold enough.”
Yunho pointed out the cockpit window at the bright July sun.
“I said pretend.”
“They’re probably going to ask us to ‘hurry up’ when they get here too. Because obviously it’s our responsibility to fix it if they’re running late.” Yunho continued to mutter to himself as he re-did his pre-flight checks to kill some time.
Changmin tried to put on a happy face for his hyung but he wasn’t really feeling very optimistic about this either. Celebrities always harshed his flight buzz. He stuffed a twinkie in his mouth and tried to eat his frustration away.
“Shim Changmin!”
Changmin chewed as fast as he could.
But Jaejoong was already in the cockpit and it was too late.
“Are you eating what I think you’re eating? Spit it out!”
Jaejoong held out an air sickness bag and batted at the back of Changmin’s head until he obediently leaned over and spat out the remains of his snack.
Yunho bent low and studiously fiddled with the buttons on his control panel.
“These things are toxic, you know that right? You’ll ruin your pretty body with them.”
Changmin blinked.
“Here’s a little sandwich to tide you over.”
It was a 12” sub.
“I love you, hyung,” said Changmin with almost crushing sincerity and seriousness.
Jaejoong kissed Changmin on the top of his head, patted Yunho’s hair, and turned back towards Business Class where he was going to have the delightful job of placating the passengers under his care… the ones he could already hear complaining about the unexpected delay even though they weren’t officially late yet.
“By the way… you know who we’re waiting for, right?”
The two pilots looked up simultaneously.
“Cassiopeia. That girl group.”
And, as if on cue, Yoochun came bursting through the doorway, almost braining Jaejoong in the process.
“Hyung! Hyung, you have trade duties with me. I’m begging you. If you love me at all as your best friend, your brother from another mother, the only crew member on this plane who wears the exact same size clothes as you so we can switch uniforms really, really easily whenever we want because you’re also the head host… you will switch into economy for me, right? Please. I love you.”
Jaejoong, Yunho, and Changmin merely blinked at him in response.
Yoochun tugged on Jaejoong’s sleeve a little bit.
“Hyung? You’ll do me this favour, right? You have to! It’s freaking Cassiopeia! Cute little Eunjung!” Yoochun flailed his hands like he was squishing a beach ball. “Athletic, wholesome Mina, icy princess Yeonyi…” Yoochun’s eyelids fluttered shut as he clutched his hands tight to his chest. “Exotic rapper, Sara, and,” Yoochun’s eyes flew open and his gaze burned bright like the sun, “Sexy, sexy leader Sooyeon with legs that won’t quit and those perky little-”
Jaejoong shoved Yoochun back out into the corridor and closed the door to the cockpit.
“Sorry about that, Captain Jung. I don’t know what got into him. We never trade jobs. Nope. Never. Because that’s against regulations. And Changmin, you heard nothing about sexy whatever. You are young and pure and untouched. Got it?”
Yunho stared at Jaejoong for a second before turning back to finish his pre-flight check, and Changmin discreetly kicked his stash of trashy, but explicit, romance novels under his chair before giving Jaejoong a cheerful thumbs up.
When Jaejoong re-joined his fellow customer-facing staff outside the cockpit, he was not at all surprised to find Yoochun still in Business Class, but he was a bit alarmed to see that his best friend seemed to be trying to convince Eunjung of Cassiopeia that he was the official ‘seat tester’ and that she should sit on his lap while he ‘tested her seat’.
“Magnae is 16~” he sang under his breath as he casually sidled over to join the group of celebrities. “Illegal in most countries~”
“No law in the skies~” Yoochun sang back.
Jaejoong hit him, pretty hard, on the back of the head.
“Nothing to stop me from throwing you off the plane then?”
Yoochun smiled winningly and gently eased himself away from Eunjung.
Unfortunately, any clever retort he might have given was cut off by the arrival of a frazzled looking gentleman with an incredibly irritated expression marring his cute face. He was pushing Yeonyi in front of him and dragging Sara behind him by the strap of her Luis Vuitton bag.
“Junsu-oppa,” Yeonyi tried to twist around to address the man pushing her, “I wasn’t done getting ready! I’m only wearing two necklaces and you know my signature look is four!”
“Please.” Mina rolled her eyes. “We all know that what you really want to say is that you didn’t have time to put a second set of false eyelashes on your right eye so now you’re asymmetrical.”
Yeonyi let out an indignant shriek and would have thrown her little beaded clutch at her groupmate except for the fact that her manager had wisely plucked it out of her hand a mere second before.
“Both of you sit down right now; Magnae, take the middle. We’ve already caused everyone a lot of trouble.”
All five Cassiopeia members blushed and turned as one to bow in apology to their fellow patrons in the Business Class cabin, mumbling polite apologies in their softest and sweetest tones. Eunjung made sure to open her eyes really wide and blink very deliberately just like her image coach had taught her to maximize her cuteness and contriteness quotients. Sooyeon straightened from her bow in such a way as to show off her prime assets, and she winked saucily at an older gentleman in seat 3C… moves also taught to her by an image coach.
“You’re a bad influence on baby Eunjung,” said Sara, in English.
“I think it’s too late,” Yoochun whispered to Sara, also in English, as Eunjung pulled her sweater down… and down again to expose a little bit of her lacey bra.
Sara gave Yoochun a Look, but Yoochun just grinned at her until she gave in and smiled a tiny, shy, little smile back at him.
Unfortunately, their Significant Eye Contact Moment was broken by “Junsu-oppa” shoving Sara into row five and then throwing Sooyeon in after her.
“Sorry for the delay. Thanks for all your hard work. Please stop creeping on my charges.”
Yoochun arched an eyebrow.
“And probably don’t creep on me either. But if you’re, like, one hundred percent straight, then sorry I assumed, just stay away from the girls then.”
Yoochun licked his lips.
“Ah, I knew it,” said the manager in a resigned-sounding monotone. “I am never wrong.”
“Junsu-oppa!” Sara reached across Sooyeon to tug on his sleeve. “I saw him first!”
“No one’s fighting with you, Sara. I’m not gay,” he replied as he bent over to tuck his bags firmly under the seat in front of him.
But Yoochun saw the blush on Junsu’s cute little face just before he hid behind his carry-on luggage.
And so Yoochun turned to Jaejoong with shining eyes and his hands clasped together just below his chin, and he said in his most rapturous voice: “I’m going to have a threesome with exotic rapper, Sara, and the Cassiopeia manager…”
Sara threw her headphones at him, and Junsu accidentally-on-purpose hit Yoochun in the crotch with the buckle of his safety belt.
“They’ve already fallen for my charms,” said Yoochun, beaming.
Jaejoong took off the blazer that marked him as a Business Class host and shoved at Yoochun, hard.
“Don’t get yourself trapped in the toilet like last time.”
END