[DBSK] - [FIC] [C] A Week Holiday... It's some kind of hot
complete
Disclaimer: clearly i don't own DBSK... not intended for profit, just for fun.
Rating: PG-13? (tough call... lol.)
Genre: comedy
People: all five boys
Pairings: OT5 with a little lean on Yun/Jae/Min in part 1
Warnings: none?
Beta: [info]miyun
Dedication: ranalore for the nuna_fanworks 2010 Holiday Fic Exchange.
Summary: The heat of the Arizona desert is driving the Dong Bang boys a little loopy on the set.
Author's Notes: Inspired by Rana's requests for "Route 66 and Grand Canyon photoshoot shenanigans" and "DBSK solve a murder mystery"... i hope it makes you smile? ^^;;;
It's Stylish...
It was a million degrees under the glaring Arizona sun. Yunho would have complained about it except that he didn’t know exactly how Fahrenheit worked and so he didn’t know if the 120°F on the weather report was actually considered ‘hot’. He didn’t want to sound like a whiner in front of their staff if it turned out that it was really only 25°C. But the day’s photoshoot was at a kitschy tourist attraction of a gas station on a highway in the middle of buttfuck-nowhere on the edge of a desert, and not only was there no air conditioning in the main building, but there was very little shade to be found anywhere. Even then, it was probably still a hundred thousand degrees in the shade.
Yunho was thankful that their costumes had sleeveless tops, but he’d have given a kidney for a pair of shorts instead of the black dress pants they’d put him in. Both kidneys if they let him have flipflops. His feet were baking in his leather shoes.
He closed his eyes and tried to visualize someplace cool, like the North Pole.
“Fuck, it’s hot,” breathed Jaejoong, standing in the “shade” of a withered tree and wilting prettily himself.
“Stupid mofo desert,” muttered Changmin at the exact same moment, as he tried to fit himself into the shadow cast by Jaejoong.
Junsu blinked, opened his mouth as if to say something, closed his mouth, blinked again, and then turned to Yoochun.
“I hear pets start to adopt their owners’ mannerisms after a while...” said Yoochun, tilting his head in Changmin’s direction.
Changmin took off his shoe and threw it at him.
He was going to throw his other shoe at Junsu, except Junsu had been quick to duck behind Yunho, and everyone knew better than to bean Yunho with a shoe. Their leader was a big softy, but he wasn’t above giving his members a beating if he thought they deserved it. Well, not Junsu. Yunho could never bring himself to punish cute, little Junsu. Thus anyone else who tried to punish Junsu met with stern disapproval from Yunho.
So Changmin changed targets at the last second and threw the second shoe at Yoochun too, getting him in the hip.
Junsu peeked out over Yunho’s shoulder, eyes wide.
“I was only going to ask what ‘mo-fo’ meant, honest!”
Yunho slapped his hands over Junsu’s ears before he could hear Changmin’s answer.
“I know how to swear already, hyung,” said Junsu plaintively.
He shook his head, but Yunho refused to let go, though he did kiss Junsu gently on the forehead as an apology. Junsu tilted his face up for a real kiss, but Yunho was busy scowling at Changmin for actually explaining the swear word in question.
“Hyung!” Junsu struggled harder to pull free. “Come on, I’m an adult!”
“Adult, whatever.” Yunho clutched Junsu closer. “No one *needs* to know what ‘mofo’ stands for. Why does that term even exist, and why in heaven’s name is there an abbreviated form of it? It’s GROSS.”
Yoochun started to laugh, and Jaejoong had to turn away to hide his grin.
Yunho finally let go of Junsu’s head to jab a finger in Yoochun’s face.
“And don’t you dare say something about my mother, or I swear to God we’re gonna go back to the Grand Canyon later, and I’ll personally throw ya in. I dun even care if it’s outta the way.”
“Dude, your accent’s showing!” Jaejoong crowed.
Yoochun doubled over laughing, and Jaejoong had to lean on Changmin to keep himself upright.
Junsu looked back and forth between his three hyung, a confused expression on his face. Then he heaved a big, melodramatic sigh and walked away to the coordi trailer, humming a tragic love song. Yunho started after him as he usually did when he could tell that Junsu was feeling left out of something and needed extra kisses to feel better. Unfortunately, he was forced to turn back to the others when he heard the unmistakable sounds of Jaejoong and Changmin hurtling their way towards an all out brawl.
Of the five of them, Changmin and Jaejoong were the least tolerant of the heat, becoming easily irritable and strangely violent as the temperature increased. And for reasons as yet unknown to Yunho (or any of the Powers-that-be really), the two of them had a tendency to take their moodiness out on each other. Yunho should have known that filming in a place like this, under the burning sun, was an invitation for Jaejoong and Changmin to try to kill each other.
Now that the joke was over, the fact that it was ‘a million degrees’ outside was taking its toll on Changmin’s patience.
“Get off me!” Changmin shrugged his shoulder, hard, trying to dislodge Jaejoong.
Jaejoong, as per usual, responded by throwing both arms around Changmin’s shoulders and trying to hump his hip.
“I’m serious, Jaejoong! Get the fuck off me or I’m going to fucking beat you!”
Jaejoong patted Changmin’s cheek in a patronizing manner and cooed: “You of all people know I like it rough when we fuck. You don’t need to make up excuses to spank me.”
Eight times out of ten in these situations, Changmin threw the first punch, but Yunho was always hard-pressed to say that the fight was ever Changmin’s fault. Jaejoong was just such a dick when he was overheated and uncomfortable. He had hoped that the two of them would behave today seeing as they were technically out in public, even if it was the middle of nowhere, but it was apparently just so hot out that the two of them lost all sense of decorum.
Thus, true to form, Changmin hit Jaejoong first, elbowing the older boy in the sternum.
It was a hard strike; Jaejoong actually stumbled backwards. His eyes opened wide with shock for a microsecond before narrowing to glare at their magnae.
Before Yunho could stop him, Jaejoong recovered and retaliated, punching Changmin square in the chest.
Recognizing the volatility of the situation, Yoochun stopped laughing and leapt to grab Jaejoong around the waist, hauling him bodily away from Changmin. Yunho seized the magnae by the back of the neck and steered him to the trucks that had brought them here. He asked a staff member to let one of the vehicles run for a bit so that Changmin could cool off with the air conditioning.
Even though he was only wearing a light tanktop and vest, Changmin was dripping sweat, and Yunho could see that he was taking sharp, shallow breaths that had nothing to do with the blow to the chest he’d just received.
“Just sit here and rest for a minute, okay?” Yunho brushed the hair off Changmin’s forehead and rubbed his scalp a little bit, heedless of the sweat and hair product. “You two always fight when you get too hot, but I think it’s worse here. The temperature must be higher than back home.”
Changmin made a small noise of discomfort and turned his head as if to bury his face in Yunho’s neck. He pulled back immediately when he was close enough to feel the heat radiating off of the older boy.
Yunho kissed his forehead and whispered soothing words against his clammy skin.
Then he closed the door to the truck and went to find Jaejoong.
By some stroke of luck the eldest member had found a swing suspended under a moderately sized tree, and he was swinging himself gently in the dappled shade, creating his own breeze.
Yunho was pleased that Jaejoong was cooling down by himself, but still angry that he’d goaded Changmin earlier. So he stood right in front of Jaejoong and stopped him by grabbing the chains of the swing. Jaejoong almost spilled into the dirt, but Yunho caught him just in time, sandwiching Jaejoong’s knees between his thighs.
Jaejoong leaned forward and rested his head against Yunho’s stomach. Both of them were grotesquely sweaty, but it didn’t seem like Jaejoong minded. They stayed like that for a minute, just breathing quietly together, in sync.
“Are you okay?” Yunho asked, finally.
“I think he bruised my chest,” said Jaejoong. “There’s a red mark…”
“Good. Maybe that means you’ll get to wear a real shirt for once.”
Jaejoong chuckled softly into Yunho’s vest.
“Great. The one time I get to wear something under my vest and it’s a million fucking degrees out here.”
Yunho patted Jaejoong’s hair softly.
“Go apologize to Changmin later. The heat is really getting to him. I think he’s going to pass out.”
Jaejoong pulled back to look up at Yunho with concern and guilt shining in his large eyes.
“Did you tell him I’m sorry? I didn’t mean to push it with him, but something about this kind of weather, it just makes me lose my mind and I want to lash out at people. Did I hurt him?”
Yunho leaned down and kissed Jaejoong sweetly on the lips.
“He’s not physically hurt, but he’s really not feeling well. He almost wanted a cuddle from me.”
“Gasp!” said Jaejoong, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Poor baby. It does sound serious if Changmin wants cuddles in the middle of the day. Maybe I can find something to help him cool down.”
“Don’t say ‘sex’,” said Yunho, squeezing Jaejoong’s knees hard with his thighs. “In this heat you’ll both likely die from heatstroke.”
Jaejoong laughed and pushed Yunho back a bit so that he could hike up Yunho’s vest and lay a gentle kiss next to his bellybutton. He blew across the patch of skin his lips had just warmed and watched as Yunho shivered.
Then he hopped off the swing and kissed Yunho on the cheek.
“I’ll go find Changmin.” Jaejoong smirked over his shoulder at Yunho who was still standing there a little stunned. “Don’t worry. I promise I’ll keep it clean.”
+++
Changmin was out doing his solo shoot by the time Jaejoong managed to locate him. Someone had put a hat on him, and Jaejoong could see that he was starting to turn a little green with heat-induced nausea. Nevertheless, Changmin was outdoing himself with his performance. He looked so stylish, long, lean, and strong. Jaejoong couldn’t help but stop and stare for a minute.
He almost forgot about his promise to Yunho.
But when the photographer called for a quick break, Changmin immediately bent over, hands on his knees, looking like he was trying not to dry heave.
The image jolted Jaejoong out of his mesmerized state.
He jogged over and knelt next to Changmin, carefully, deliberately, not touching him. Despite his actions to the contrary, Jaejoong did know how much Changmin hated to be touched when he was hot, and this was definitely beyond any kind of heat that they’d ever experienced before.
“Changmin-ah, pretty Changmin, ask for a longer break if you need it.”
Changmin shook his head, but it was weak and Jaejoong could see that he was starting to lose focus.
“Okay, but don’t push yourself too hard. I’ll be right over there watching out for you,” Jaejoong said, pointing to a bench half hidden in the only shade cast by the main structure of the gas station.
Changmin nodded, watery eyes meeting Jaejoong’s soft gaze.
“Promise?”
“I promise. I’ll see if I can borrow some American money from one of the hyung and buy you a really cold drink from the store.”
Jaejoong stood up and chanced running the backs of his knuckles against Changmin’s cheek as he went. It was a testament to how sick Changmin felt that he not only turned into the caress but brushed his lips against Jaejoong’s fingertips before they were out of reach.
After asking around, Jaejoong managed to scrounge up $5 USD. Clutching the bills tightly in his hand, he trotted into the store, thanking the heavens that it wasn’t a fake set. There might not have been any air-conditioning inside, but their refrigerator cabinet was well-stocked with icy glass bottles of pop. Jaejoong happily purchased a Coke for Changmin and an Orange Crush for himself. Then he went back outside to wait for Changmin on the bench as promised.
When Changmin was done, he shot over to Jaejoong so fast that Jaejoong thought maybe he’d gotten over his heat exhaustion if he’d regained so much energy.
But the way he threw himself onto the bench and buried his face against Jaejoong’s bare shoulder made it instantly apparent that he was far from back to normal.
“Hyung,” he whined. “Make it better.”
Jaejoong pulled Changmin’s hat off and used it to fan the both of them.
“If that worked, I wouldn’t be over here…” Changmin’s voice was tired-sounding, but nevertheless kind of threatening.
Jaejoong smacked Changmin lightly with the hat.
“Come here, you big baby.” He patted his lap.
Changmin made a face and pulled away.
But Jaejoong could move fast when he wanted to, and Changmin was sort of at a physical disadvantage given the heat and the fatigue. So, with just a little bit of work, Jaejoong was able to manhandle Changmin’s lanky body down onto the bench, head pillowed on Jaejoong’s lap.
“Still hot,” mumbled Changmin, raising his knees to get his legs off the warm wood.
Jaejoong ‘hmm’-ed and ran his hand, damp with the cold condensation from the Orange Crush bottle, across Changmin’s forehead, along each cheek, and down his neck. Changmin sighed happily and lifted his chin, exposing his neck and chest for more of Jaejoong’s ministrations. Again and again, Jaejoong gathered the condensation from the bottle, and stroked it against Changmin’s overheated skin.
Once it seemed like he’d cooled down a little bit, Jaejoong took the bottle itself and ran it directly against Changmin’s skin, light and soothing, along the paths his hands had taken previously.
He hummed little snatches of songs...theirs, others’, oldies, imagined melodies.
Changmin fell asleep in a couple of minutes, breaths finally deepening into a more regular rhythm.
Jaejoong opened the Orange Crush and took a swig, closing his own eyes for a second to imagine himself on an ice field somewhere with a cold wind blowing and pure snow falling around him.
When he opened his eyes again, Yunho was standing in front of him, so Jaejoong reached up and pulled him down by the vest for a deep orange-flavoured kiss.
“I thought you were going to keep it clean,” Yunho said with a smile against Jaejoong’s lips.
“I said I’d keep it clean with Changmin,”
“He’s got his head in your crotch.”
Jaejoong made a face at Yunho.
“You’re a pervy old man, y’know that, right?”
Yunho stole the Coke still sitting at Jaejoong’s feet, and he opened it for himself.
“Yoochun bought a bag of ice,” he started in a conversational tone, “and I think he’s got Junsu cornered in that barn thing…”
Jaejoong’s gaze slid over to the barn, and then slid back to Yunho.
“Changmin just fell asleep,” said Jaejoong, all wide-eyed innocence. “And he’s not feeling well.”
Yunho set the still-cold bottle against the hollow of Jaejoong’s collarbone and held it there, watching goosebumps spread across Jaejoong’s pale skin.
“Really. You’re going to play that game?”
Jaejoong licked his lips and lowered his chin just a tad so that he could look up at Yunho through his thick lashes.
“Does it make you hot for me?”
Yunho laughed.
“C’mon. Let’s go ‘cool down’ with the boys. I’m pretty sure Changmin will kill us if he misses this.”
Changmin snuffled and burrowed closer to Jaejoong.
“No sex. Heatstroke will kill me,” he mumbled into Jaejoong’s crotch.
===
It's Camping...
They were trapped on the canyon floor after their ‘camping’ photoshoot. What had been a sweet, cool breeze early in the morning had turned into a brisk wind by late afternoon, and their local guides were concerned about getting their caravan of vehicles up the narrow, winding road back to the top.
The producers and photographers decided to retreat to one of the technical vans to review footage and get some work done. The stylists and make up artists went to take naps in the SUVs.
Yunho stretched a bit, looked around, and suddenly realized that the five members had actually been left standing there, alone, like they were just a couple of extra prop pieces that went with the lawn chairs.
Jaejoong blinked owlishly at him, still wearing the black eyeglass frames from his last round of photos.
“Oh my god,” said Changmin, tucking himself closer to Jaejoong. “We’re unsupervised. At the bottom of a canyon. With running water nearby.”
Everyone stared at Yunho.
Who stared back.
“We should… do something…” said Jaejoong, slowly. “It’d be a shame to waste the opportunity.”
Yoochun suggested that they quickly find a cave to crawl into and just get down and dirty with it. He’d always wanted to have outdoor sex, he announced wistfully.
Junsu pulled his shirt off and grinned happily at Yoochun, jerking his chin in the direction of a rock outcropping that looked big enough to keep all five of them out of sight of the vehicles housing their staff.
Yunho struggled to get Junsu back into his shirt.
“Shit, kid, how long have you been out in the sun?” He asked, wrestling with the suddenly very squirmy Junsu. “You know better than to indulge Yoochun when he gets like this.”
Changmin pointed out that Yunho had totally indulged Yoochun the previous day with the ice cubes, and the barn with the low beams and sawhorses at convenient heights.
“I blame that on the heatstroke.”
Jaejoong shared a look of amused exasperation with Changmin.
“So, orgy on the rocky banks of this creek thing, yes or no?” asked Yoochun, already unbuckling his pants.
Yunho gave up trying to get Junsu back into his shirt and instead opted to ball it up and throw it at Yoochun.
“No. You said it yourself. It’s rocky and we don’t have any blankets or anything. Someone’s going to get hurt.”
Jaejoong raised his hand.
“You’re saying ‘no’ to an outdoor, semi-public orgy because we don’t have any *blankets*?” he asked, arching a brow at Yunho.
“Hey!” Yunho stomped his foot like a child. “All of you stop saying that word out loud where people can hear you!”
Yoochun very carefully said the word again, drawing out the ‘r’ sound. Then he repeated it in two other languages.
Yunho just gave him his special “Leader is going to beat your ass really hard, and not in the sexy way either”-look.
“We could play soccer!” Junsu piped up, having been distracted from the orgy conversation by the piles of camping props strewn about the area.
He picked out a beachball and tried to kick it over to Changmin, but a gust of wind hurtled the ball sideways and out of sight behind the wardrobe trailer.
In fact, despite the shelter from the canyon walls, the wind was starting to stir up quite a bit of dust and sand, and suddenly the idea of running around outside seemed way less appealing than it had a couple of minutes previous.
“I think I got something in my eye,” whined Changmin, turning to Jaejoong.
Jaejoong patted Changmin gently on the head and kissed his elbow.
Junsu trotted over to actually help Changmin with his eye.
Yunho finally suggested that, seeing as they couldn’t come to a consensus as to what kind of trouble to get into just yet, they should hide in the camper that had been rented for the shoot before any more of them were blinded by the dust and debris in the air.
Piling into the recreational vehicle, the members were surprised to find that it was actually filled with *stuff*, as if it actually belonged to someone instead of just being rented from an agency.
Yoochun and Jaejoong made some quiet joke about the bed that took up one third of the back of the camper as they tumbled onto it together, grabbing pillows to cuddle. Junsu started opening cupboards at random, and Changmin poked around the dining area until he figured out how to expand both the table and the u-shaped bench wrapped around it so that at least four of them could sit comfortably. Junsu being the shortest one was going to have to sit on the kitchen counter though, as far as Yunho could tell.
“It looks like we got under cover just in time,” Yunho said, pointing out the window at the blizzard of sand outside. “And, Yoochun, stop pouting about the outdoor sex thing or I’m going to have to come back there to hit you.” He didn’t even have to look at his groupmate to know what Yoochun’s expression was.
Jaejoong laughed softly and squished Yoochun into the mattress to cheer him up.
After three rousing rounds of ‘human sandwich game’ (because they hadn’t played it in a while and they’d sort of forgotten how entertaining it could be), the five Dong Bang Shin Ki members were sprawled across the bed in a hopeless tangle, completely out of breath and very sweaty. The air inside the camper was stifling, but the wind was still going strong, so they couldn’t open a window, much less take their roughhousing outdoors.
The tension among the boys was thick.
Out of the corner of his eye, Yunho saw Jaejoong pinch Changmin…high up and on the inside of his thigh.
Quickly, Yunho leapt to his feet and bellowed, “Let’s play a game!”
Successfully distracted, Jaejoong hopped up to poke around the interior of the camper.
“What kind of game? Do they have a deck of cards here or something? They must. There’s so much crap,” he mumbled as he burrowed into a closet.
“I could show you a magic trick!” suggested Junsu from underneath Yoochun, who apparently had not gotten the memo that they were done playing ‘human sandwich’.
“Oh! There are board games!” Jaejoong started pulling out boxes and boxes of games from the bottom shelf of the closet.
Yoochun and Changmin sorted through the games and the only one they could find that allowed for five players was ‘Clue’. Unfortunately, none of them knew how to play the game except Yoochun who said he thought he might remember the rules if he concentrated really, really hard… and got a kiss from Junsu.
Junsu obliged readily.
And Yoochun forgot about the game until Yunho tried to brain him with the box.
The boys gathered in the kitchen area and dumped the contents of the game onto the table. Jaejoong grabbed the red playing piece, and Changmin the purple. Junsu lunged for the blue one and Yoochun just scooped up the yellow. When everyone else was done, Yunho picked up the green piece.
“Okay,” said Yoochun. “Now let’s look at the rules.”
Changmin unfolded a monster sized sheet of paper that was almost completely covered with a solid block of text… in really small font. They all stared at it for a minute. Then four of them turned to Yoochun.
“Uh.” He cleared his throat. “I, uh… You know, we don’t need the rules. I remember how to play,” he announced, authoritatively, kind of.
Changmin bent over the rule sheet and began to slowly decipher the instructions.
Meanwhile, Yoochun set up the board.
“It’s a murder mystery,” he said to the other three members, who were looking at him with crushing trust and admiration. “This is the house where the murder took place. And we’re supposed to guess who committed the murder, in which room, and with which weapon, based on the clues we get as we play.”
Yoochun snuck a glance at the rule sheet.
“Okay, so first we need to put three cards in the secret envelope.” He shuffled through the cards that they’d spilled across the table. “We need a person, a place, and a weapon.”
Yunho held up a card with a lady in red on it. Jaejoong picked up a card with something that looked like a dildo. Junsu pointed at a card with a bookshelf on it.
“Okay. Miss Scarlett… in the library… with the wrench.” Yoochun put the cards in the secret envelope.
Changmin smacked him.
“The cards in the secret envelope are supposed to be a secret, dumbass. The game is to guess which cards are in there.”
“Are you sure?”
Changmin gave him a look.
Yoochun dumped the three cards back out onto the table.
“Fine, everyone close your eyes and I’ll pick three cards to put in the envelope.”
“Wait, I don’t think-”
Yunho covered Changmin’s eyes with one hand and Changmin’s mouth with the other.
“Just let him play it however he wants,” he whispered in Changmin’s ear. “It’ll make him happy.”
Yunho could feel Changmin rolling his eyes.
“Nobody ever wants to make me happy,” he muttered.
So Yunho didn’t stop it when Jaejoong slid his hand up Changmin’s thigh again to stroke gently at the crease at his hip. He just closed his eyes and pretended that they were actually about to play an innocent children’s board game.
“Okay! Done. You guys can look now.” Yoochun beamed at them. “So then the players each roll the die and move around the board. When you get to one of the rooms, you can make accusations.”
“What if you guess wrong?” asked Jaejoong, head cocked to one side.
Yoochun brandished the cards in his hand.
“If you guess wrong, meaning you guess something that is in this deck here, and not in the envelope, then you get to keep that card.”
Jaejoong withdrew his hand from Changmin’s hip so that he could lean forward on his elbows and really concentrate on what Yoochun was saying.
“For example, say you guess, Miss Scarlett in the Library with the Gun. I’ll check my cards and if I have Miss Scarlett, the Library, or the Gun cards, I have to give them to you. Then you’ll know that those cards are not in the secret envelope because you’re holding them. But don’t show them to the others, because then they’ll know too, and the object of the game is to be the first to figure out what’s in the envelope.”
Jaejoong blinked, a worried expression on his face.
“Don’t worry, Jaejoong.” Yunho patted his hair. “We’re just playing for fun. None of us get it. We’ll make it up as we go along.”
Changmin rustled the rule sheet again and gave Yoochun a pointed look.
Yoochun snatched the sheet and stuffed it under his seat cushion.
“Did any of you spend part of your childhood in America? No? Then don’t tell me how to play American children’s games. Yunho-hyung, put your marker down somewhere on the board and then roll!”
With eyes wide, Yunho hurried to do as commanded.
He rolled a ‘5’ which got him nowhere near a room. So he looked to Yoochun for further directions.
“Jaejoongie’s turn,” he stated imperiously.
Jaejoong rolled.
And then Junsu.
And then Changmin.
They stared at Yoochun.
Who muttered quietly, “...But do I get to roll? I’m the Clue Keeper though.”
“I don’t think you get to play if you’re holding all the clues,” said Yunho quietly, meekly. “It wouldn’t be fair, because you know what’s inside the envelope.”
Yoochun nodded suddenly. “You’re right. Of course. Now I remember.”
“Whatever, you ‘remember’,” said Changmin under his breath.
Yunho grabbed Changmin’s face and tongue-kissed him to shut him up.
“Gee, Changminnie’s kind of prickly today…” said Junsu, edging away from the table a bit.
Yoochun shrugged. “It’s the heat. You know how he gets. Let Yunho handle him. Or Jaejoong jump him. Whatever comes first. They know how to fix it.”
But Jaejoong was staring intently at the game board.
On his next roll, Jaejoong managed to move his playing piece into the Study.
“Yay! Now you get to make guesses, hyung!” chirped Junsu.
Jaejoong bit his lip and looked worriedly at the pile of cards in Yoochun’s hand.
“I… guess, the red girl, with the gun, in the room that I’m in right now,” he said slowly.
Yoochun shuffled through the cards.
“Oo,” he cooed, “I have two of those, so we know that one of your guesses is in the secret envelope!”
He handed two cards, face down, to Jaejoong. But when Jaejoong leaned over to take them, Yoochun surprised him with a kiss. Long and deep.
Jaejoong beamed and held his cards close.
Changmin narrowed his eyes.
“I’m making it into an adult game,” said Yoochun with an airy tone, waving Changmin off before he could say anything. “One kiss from the Clue Keeper for every correct guess.”
Yunho just silently handed the die to Junsu. This was going to be a long and very awkward game, he thought to himself.
Junsu rolled a ‘6’ but got turned around on the board and ended up still nowhere. He shrugged and asked if he could get a kiss anyway. Yoochun said ‘sure’, but Changmin said ‘no’.
“If you’re going to invent stupid rules, at least learn to follow them!” he shouted.
“But Junsu asked for a kiss!” Yoochun bellowed back.
Yunho grabbed Junsu by the back of the neck and kissed him.
Then he handed Changmin the die and gestured for him to roll his turn.
Changmin made it into the Library and he guessed the yellow guy in the kitchen with the rope.
Yoochun handed him three cards.
Jaejoong looked enviously at the cards in Changmin’s hand and tried to peek surreptitiously at their faces.
“You don’t need to look at them, Jaejoong-ah,” said Yunho, ever patient. “If Changmin got three cards from Yoochunnie that means all three of his guesses were wrong, so you already know what those cards are. Yellow guy, kitchen, and rope.”
“Hyung!”
“It’s just a game, Changmin. Calm down.”
Jaejoong very seriously dropped a kiss on Changmin’s shoulder, and Changmin settled back into his seat, though he still looked disgruntled.
“Here, I’ll show you mine,” said Jaejoong helpfully.
“Hyung!” This time it was Junsu’s turn to protest. “Yoochunnie says you’re supposed to keep your cards secret.”
Yunho and Yoochun reached out in various directions to pat everyone in a soothing manner so as to restore order to the game as quickly as possible.
When Yunho landed in the Billiard room, he guessed: “red girl with the pipe in the library.”
Yoochun blinked.
“I’ve still got the pipe card…” He slid the card in question over to Yunho. “But I already gave the red girl to Jaejoongie…”
Changmin slumped face down onto the table.
“I think that means Jaejoongie’s supposed to give his card to Yunho-hyung, then.” Yoochun looked pensive. “Or was I not supposed to say anything? But then… how would we narrow down the choices…”
Jaejoong clutched his cards tightly.
“How about I trade you a kiss for your red girl card?” Yunho asked over Changmin’s still prone form.
Jaejoong perked right up.
“Okay!” he chirped, handing over the card right away.
Yunho had to stand up a bit to reach, but Jaejoong met him half way. It started soft, but then Jaejoong parted his lips just a fraction of a centimetre, just enough to tease, and Yunho immediately surged forward. His left hand tangled in the hair at the nape of Jaejoong’s neck and his right was splayed wide on Jaejoong’s chest, palming his heartbeat. Jaejoong was forced to balance himself against Changmin who was still lying between them on the table.
Yoochun cleared his throat.
Junsu shouted in indignation.
Changmin just sighed.
When they finally pulled apart, Junsu had taken it upon himself to roll two more turns for himself. He was only able to make one guess, though, and it was wrong on all counts so Yoochun slid his three cards over.
Jaejoong gazed enviously at Junsu’s three cards.
His tongue flicked out to wet his lips.
Junsu grinned.
And then he pursed his lips, just a little bit, the way Jaejoong had taught him years ago when Junsu was given his first ever ‘sexy’ image for a photoshoot.
+++
By the time the windstorm died down and their managers thought to actually look for them, the boys were down to just rolling the die and giving each other kisses. The game of Clue was completely forgotten. Luckily, their managers had long ago learned to write off the random Dong Bang kisses as a weird by-product of being forced to live together since puberty and they didn’t find it too odd to walk in on Yoochun making kissy faces at Changmin… who’d planted his foot firmly against Yoochun’s sternum to fend him off.
Yunho thought it was incredibly lucky, though, that the YooMin couple blocked their managers from seeing the full on make-out session going down between Jaejoong and the still-shirtless Junsu. No matter how many weird tableaus they’d walked in on, Yunho didn’t think their managers would ever be ready to see Jaejoong grinding up little Junsu against the kitchen counter like a teenager in heat.
“Ahem.”
The boys froze. Junsu slithered off the counter and squirmed his way over to Changmin… who stood up tall to hide the fact that Junsu was half naked and sporting a pretty perky erection which was quite visible through his thin shorts.
“The guides say it’s safe to move out now, so we’re packing it up…”
“Yes, hyung. We’ll just be a second.”
Yunho directed his members to clean up the mess they’d made like the good, polite little boys that they were.
One of the manager hyung discreetly threw Junsu’s wadded up shirt back into the camper so that he could get dressed before coming out.
“Now we’ll never know who the murderer is,” said Jaejoong forlornly as he tucked the game back into its spot in the closet.
“Serves you right for getting distracted with Junsu,” said Yoochun and Changmin at the same time.
Yunho just smiled and looped an arm around Junsu’s shoulders as they filed out of the camper, pulling him close to press a kiss against his temple.
"So you had the green guy, candlestick, and dining room cards, right?"
+++
Two days later on the plane back to Seoul, Yoochun was rudely awakened by Yunho poking insistently at his face.
“Yoochun, Yoochun-ah. I think I figured it out… It was the lady in white with the knife in the room with the desk that Jaejoongie was first in, right?”
Yoochun was still pretty much asleep, but gave Yunho a kiss anyway. It involved a lot of tongue, and they might have traumatized the granny sitting in the row behind them.
“I would have made a great criminal prosecutor!” Yunho boasted... for the next couple of hours... to anyone who would listen.
Actually, he wasn't at all even close to right, but Yoochun didn't have the heart to tell him that the kiss was a "shut up and let me sleep"-kiss, not a "congratulations on winning this game that i don't really know how to play so i made up some shitastic rules"-kiss. So Yoochun just turned the fan above his seat to 'high' and curled up under his standard issue Korean Air blankie to continue sleeping under the cool air conditioning of the plane.
===
END
** warning: this is NOT how you play 'Clue', by the way. so close, and yet so far from the actual rules. kekekeke.
HAPPY NEW YEAR~~~ ♥
Disclaimer: clearly i don't own DBSK... not intended for profit, just for fun.
Rating: PG-13? (tough call... lol.)
Genre: comedy
People: all five boys
Pairings: OT5 with a little lean on Yun/Jae/Min in part 1
Warnings: none?
Beta: [info]miyun
Dedication: ranalore for the nuna_fanworks 2010 Holiday Fic Exchange.
Summary: The heat of the Arizona desert is driving the Dong Bang boys a little loopy on the set.
Author's Notes: Inspired by Rana's requests for "Route 66 and Grand Canyon photoshoot shenanigans" and "DBSK solve a murder mystery"... i hope it makes you smile? ^^;;;
It's Stylish...
It was a million degrees under the glaring Arizona sun. Yunho would have complained about it except that he didn’t know exactly how Fahrenheit worked and so he didn’t know if the 120°F on the weather report was actually considered ‘hot’. He didn’t want to sound like a whiner in front of their staff if it turned out that it was really only 25°C. But the day’s photoshoot was at a kitschy tourist attraction of a gas station on a highway in the middle of buttfuck-nowhere on the edge of a desert, and not only was there no air conditioning in the main building, but there was very little shade to be found anywhere. Even then, it was probably still a hundred thousand degrees in the shade.
Yunho was thankful that their costumes had sleeveless tops, but he’d have given a kidney for a pair of shorts instead of the black dress pants they’d put him in. Both kidneys if they let him have flipflops. His feet were baking in his leather shoes.
He closed his eyes and tried to visualize someplace cool, like the North Pole.
“Fuck, it’s hot,” breathed Jaejoong, standing in the “shade” of a withered tree and wilting prettily himself.
“Stupid mofo desert,” muttered Changmin at the exact same moment, as he tried to fit himself into the shadow cast by Jaejoong.
Junsu blinked, opened his mouth as if to say something, closed his mouth, blinked again, and then turned to Yoochun.
“I hear pets start to adopt their owners’ mannerisms after a while...” said Yoochun, tilting his head in Changmin’s direction.
Changmin took off his shoe and threw it at him.
He was going to throw his other shoe at Junsu, except Junsu had been quick to duck behind Yunho, and everyone knew better than to bean Yunho with a shoe. Their leader was a big softy, but he wasn’t above giving his members a beating if he thought they deserved it. Well, not Junsu. Yunho could never bring himself to punish cute, little Junsu. Thus anyone else who tried to punish Junsu met with stern disapproval from Yunho.
So Changmin changed targets at the last second and threw the second shoe at Yoochun too, getting him in the hip.
Junsu peeked out over Yunho’s shoulder, eyes wide.
“I was only going to ask what ‘mo-fo’ meant, honest!”
Yunho slapped his hands over Junsu’s ears before he could hear Changmin’s answer.
“I know how to swear already, hyung,” said Junsu plaintively.
He shook his head, but Yunho refused to let go, though he did kiss Junsu gently on the forehead as an apology. Junsu tilted his face up for a real kiss, but Yunho was busy scowling at Changmin for actually explaining the swear word in question.
“Hyung!” Junsu struggled harder to pull free. “Come on, I’m an adult!”
“Adult, whatever.” Yunho clutched Junsu closer. “No one *needs* to know what ‘mofo’ stands for. Why does that term even exist, and why in heaven’s name is there an abbreviated form of it? It’s GROSS.”
Yoochun started to laugh, and Jaejoong had to turn away to hide his grin.
Yunho finally let go of Junsu’s head to jab a finger in Yoochun’s face.
“And don’t you dare say something about my mother, or I swear to God we’re gonna go back to the Grand Canyon later, and I’ll personally throw ya in. I dun even care if it’s outta the way.”
“Dude, your accent’s showing!” Jaejoong crowed.
Yoochun doubled over laughing, and Jaejoong had to lean on Changmin to keep himself upright.
Junsu looked back and forth between his three hyung, a confused expression on his face. Then he heaved a big, melodramatic sigh and walked away to the coordi trailer, humming a tragic love song. Yunho started after him as he usually did when he could tell that Junsu was feeling left out of something and needed extra kisses to feel better. Unfortunately, he was forced to turn back to the others when he heard the unmistakable sounds of Jaejoong and Changmin hurtling their way towards an all out brawl.
Of the five of them, Changmin and Jaejoong were the least tolerant of the heat, becoming easily irritable and strangely violent as the temperature increased. And for reasons as yet unknown to Yunho (or any of the Powers-that-be really), the two of them had a tendency to take their moodiness out on each other. Yunho should have known that filming in a place like this, under the burning sun, was an invitation for Jaejoong and Changmin to try to kill each other.
Now that the joke was over, the fact that it was ‘a million degrees’ outside was taking its toll on Changmin’s patience.
“Get off me!” Changmin shrugged his shoulder, hard, trying to dislodge Jaejoong.
Jaejoong, as per usual, responded by throwing both arms around Changmin’s shoulders and trying to hump his hip.
“I’m serious, Jaejoong! Get the fuck off me or I’m going to fucking beat you!”
Jaejoong patted Changmin’s cheek in a patronizing manner and cooed: “You of all people know I like it rough when we fuck. You don’t need to make up excuses to spank me.”
Eight times out of ten in these situations, Changmin threw the first punch, but Yunho was always hard-pressed to say that the fight was ever Changmin’s fault. Jaejoong was just such a dick when he was overheated and uncomfortable. He had hoped that the two of them would behave today seeing as they were technically out in public, even if it was the middle of nowhere, but it was apparently just so hot out that the two of them lost all sense of decorum.
Thus, true to form, Changmin hit Jaejoong first, elbowing the older boy in the sternum.
It was a hard strike; Jaejoong actually stumbled backwards. His eyes opened wide with shock for a microsecond before narrowing to glare at their magnae.
Before Yunho could stop him, Jaejoong recovered and retaliated, punching Changmin square in the chest.
Recognizing the volatility of the situation, Yoochun stopped laughing and leapt to grab Jaejoong around the waist, hauling him bodily away from Changmin. Yunho seized the magnae by the back of the neck and steered him to the trucks that had brought them here. He asked a staff member to let one of the vehicles run for a bit so that Changmin could cool off with the air conditioning.
Even though he was only wearing a light tanktop and vest, Changmin was dripping sweat, and Yunho could see that he was taking sharp, shallow breaths that had nothing to do with the blow to the chest he’d just received.
“Just sit here and rest for a minute, okay?” Yunho brushed the hair off Changmin’s forehead and rubbed his scalp a little bit, heedless of the sweat and hair product. “You two always fight when you get too hot, but I think it’s worse here. The temperature must be higher than back home.”
Changmin made a small noise of discomfort and turned his head as if to bury his face in Yunho’s neck. He pulled back immediately when he was close enough to feel the heat radiating off of the older boy.
Yunho kissed his forehead and whispered soothing words against his clammy skin.
Then he closed the door to the truck and went to find Jaejoong.
By some stroke of luck the eldest member had found a swing suspended under a moderately sized tree, and he was swinging himself gently in the dappled shade, creating his own breeze.
Yunho was pleased that Jaejoong was cooling down by himself, but still angry that he’d goaded Changmin earlier. So he stood right in front of Jaejoong and stopped him by grabbing the chains of the swing. Jaejoong almost spilled into the dirt, but Yunho caught him just in time, sandwiching Jaejoong’s knees between his thighs.
Jaejoong leaned forward and rested his head against Yunho’s stomach. Both of them were grotesquely sweaty, but it didn’t seem like Jaejoong minded. They stayed like that for a minute, just breathing quietly together, in sync.
“Are you okay?” Yunho asked, finally.
“I think he bruised my chest,” said Jaejoong. “There’s a red mark…”
“Good. Maybe that means you’ll get to wear a real shirt for once.”
Jaejoong chuckled softly into Yunho’s vest.
“Great. The one time I get to wear something under my vest and it’s a million fucking degrees out here.”
Yunho patted Jaejoong’s hair softly.
“Go apologize to Changmin later. The heat is really getting to him. I think he’s going to pass out.”
Jaejoong pulled back to look up at Yunho with concern and guilt shining in his large eyes.
“Did you tell him I’m sorry? I didn’t mean to push it with him, but something about this kind of weather, it just makes me lose my mind and I want to lash out at people. Did I hurt him?”
Yunho leaned down and kissed Jaejoong sweetly on the lips.
“He’s not physically hurt, but he’s really not feeling well. He almost wanted a cuddle from me.”
“Gasp!” said Jaejoong, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Poor baby. It does sound serious if Changmin wants cuddles in the middle of the day. Maybe I can find something to help him cool down.”
“Don’t say ‘sex’,” said Yunho, squeezing Jaejoong’s knees hard with his thighs. “In this heat you’ll both likely die from heatstroke.”
Jaejoong laughed and pushed Yunho back a bit so that he could hike up Yunho’s vest and lay a gentle kiss next to his bellybutton. He blew across the patch of skin his lips had just warmed and watched as Yunho shivered.
Then he hopped off the swing and kissed Yunho on the cheek.
“I’ll go find Changmin.” Jaejoong smirked over his shoulder at Yunho who was still standing there a little stunned. “Don’t worry. I promise I’ll keep it clean.”
+++
Changmin was out doing his solo shoot by the time Jaejoong managed to locate him. Someone had put a hat on him, and Jaejoong could see that he was starting to turn a little green with heat-induced nausea. Nevertheless, Changmin was outdoing himself with his performance. He looked so stylish, long, lean, and strong. Jaejoong couldn’t help but stop and stare for a minute.
He almost forgot about his promise to Yunho.
But when the photographer called for a quick break, Changmin immediately bent over, hands on his knees, looking like he was trying not to dry heave.
The image jolted Jaejoong out of his mesmerized state.
He jogged over and knelt next to Changmin, carefully, deliberately, not touching him. Despite his actions to the contrary, Jaejoong did know how much Changmin hated to be touched when he was hot, and this was definitely beyond any kind of heat that they’d ever experienced before.
“Changmin-ah, pretty Changmin, ask for a longer break if you need it.”
Changmin shook his head, but it was weak and Jaejoong could see that he was starting to lose focus.
“Okay, but don’t push yourself too hard. I’ll be right over there watching out for you,” Jaejoong said, pointing to a bench half hidden in the only shade cast by the main structure of the gas station.
Changmin nodded, watery eyes meeting Jaejoong’s soft gaze.
“Promise?”
“I promise. I’ll see if I can borrow some American money from one of the hyung and buy you a really cold drink from the store.”
Jaejoong stood up and chanced running the backs of his knuckles against Changmin’s cheek as he went. It was a testament to how sick Changmin felt that he not only turned into the caress but brushed his lips against Jaejoong’s fingertips before they were out of reach.
After asking around, Jaejoong managed to scrounge up $5 USD. Clutching the bills tightly in his hand, he trotted into the store, thanking the heavens that it wasn’t a fake set. There might not have been any air-conditioning inside, but their refrigerator cabinet was well-stocked with icy glass bottles of pop. Jaejoong happily purchased a Coke for Changmin and an Orange Crush for himself. Then he went back outside to wait for Changmin on the bench as promised.
When Changmin was done, he shot over to Jaejoong so fast that Jaejoong thought maybe he’d gotten over his heat exhaustion if he’d regained so much energy.
But the way he threw himself onto the bench and buried his face against Jaejoong’s bare shoulder made it instantly apparent that he was far from back to normal.
“Hyung,” he whined. “Make it better.”
Jaejoong pulled Changmin’s hat off and used it to fan the both of them.
“If that worked, I wouldn’t be over here…” Changmin’s voice was tired-sounding, but nevertheless kind of threatening.
Jaejoong smacked Changmin lightly with the hat.
“Come here, you big baby.” He patted his lap.
Changmin made a face and pulled away.
But Jaejoong could move fast when he wanted to, and Changmin was sort of at a physical disadvantage given the heat and the fatigue. So, with just a little bit of work, Jaejoong was able to manhandle Changmin’s lanky body down onto the bench, head pillowed on Jaejoong’s lap.
“Still hot,” mumbled Changmin, raising his knees to get his legs off the warm wood.
Jaejoong ‘hmm’-ed and ran his hand, damp with the cold condensation from the Orange Crush bottle, across Changmin’s forehead, along each cheek, and down his neck. Changmin sighed happily and lifted his chin, exposing his neck and chest for more of Jaejoong’s ministrations. Again and again, Jaejoong gathered the condensation from the bottle, and stroked it against Changmin’s overheated skin.
Once it seemed like he’d cooled down a little bit, Jaejoong took the bottle itself and ran it directly against Changmin’s skin, light and soothing, along the paths his hands had taken previously.
He hummed little snatches of songs...theirs, others’, oldies, imagined melodies.
Changmin fell asleep in a couple of minutes, breaths finally deepening into a more regular rhythm.
Jaejoong opened the Orange Crush and took a swig, closing his own eyes for a second to imagine himself on an ice field somewhere with a cold wind blowing and pure snow falling around him.
When he opened his eyes again, Yunho was standing in front of him, so Jaejoong reached up and pulled him down by the vest for a deep orange-flavoured kiss.
“I thought you were going to keep it clean,” Yunho said with a smile against Jaejoong’s lips.
“I said I’d keep it clean with Changmin,”
“He’s got his head in your crotch.”
Jaejoong made a face at Yunho.
“You’re a pervy old man, y’know that, right?”
Yunho stole the Coke still sitting at Jaejoong’s feet, and he opened it for himself.
“Yoochun bought a bag of ice,” he started in a conversational tone, “and I think he’s got Junsu cornered in that barn thing…”
Jaejoong’s gaze slid over to the barn, and then slid back to Yunho.
“Changmin just fell asleep,” said Jaejoong, all wide-eyed innocence. “And he’s not feeling well.”
Yunho set the still-cold bottle against the hollow of Jaejoong’s collarbone and held it there, watching goosebumps spread across Jaejoong’s pale skin.
“Really. You’re going to play that game?”
Jaejoong licked his lips and lowered his chin just a tad so that he could look up at Yunho through his thick lashes.
“Does it make you hot for me?”
Yunho laughed.
“C’mon. Let’s go ‘cool down’ with the boys. I’m pretty sure Changmin will kill us if he misses this.”
Changmin snuffled and burrowed closer to Jaejoong.
“No sex. Heatstroke will kill me,” he mumbled into Jaejoong’s crotch.
===
It's Camping...
They were trapped on the canyon floor after their ‘camping’ photoshoot. What had been a sweet, cool breeze early in the morning had turned into a brisk wind by late afternoon, and their local guides were concerned about getting their caravan of vehicles up the narrow, winding road back to the top.
The producers and photographers decided to retreat to one of the technical vans to review footage and get some work done. The stylists and make up artists went to take naps in the SUVs.
Yunho stretched a bit, looked around, and suddenly realized that the five members had actually been left standing there, alone, like they were just a couple of extra prop pieces that went with the lawn chairs.
Jaejoong blinked owlishly at him, still wearing the black eyeglass frames from his last round of photos.
“Oh my god,” said Changmin, tucking himself closer to Jaejoong. “We’re unsupervised. At the bottom of a canyon. With running water nearby.”
Everyone stared at Yunho.
Who stared back.
“We should… do something…” said Jaejoong, slowly. “It’d be a shame to waste the opportunity.”
Yoochun suggested that they quickly find a cave to crawl into and just get down and dirty with it. He’d always wanted to have outdoor sex, he announced wistfully.
Junsu pulled his shirt off and grinned happily at Yoochun, jerking his chin in the direction of a rock outcropping that looked big enough to keep all five of them out of sight of the vehicles housing their staff.
Yunho struggled to get Junsu back into his shirt.
“Shit, kid, how long have you been out in the sun?” He asked, wrestling with the suddenly very squirmy Junsu. “You know better than to indulge Yoochun when he gets like this.”
Changmin pointed out that Yunho had totally indulged Yoochun the previous day with the ice cubes, and the barn with the low beams and sawhorses at convenient heights.
“I blame that on the heatstroke.”
Jaejoong shared a look of amused exasperation with Changmin.
“So, orgy on the rocky banks of this creek thing, yes or no?” asked Yoochun, already unbuckling his pants.
Yunho gave up trying to get Junsu back into his shirt and instead opted to ball it up and throw it at Yoochun.
“No. You said it yourself. It’s rocky and we don’t have any blankets or anything. Someone’s going to get hurt.”
Jaejoong raised his hand.
“You’re saying ‘no’ to an outdoor, semi-public orgy because we don’t have any *blankets*?” he asked, arching a brow at Yunho.
“Hey!” Yunho stomped his foot like a child. “All of you stop saying that word out loud where people can hear you!”
Yoochun very carefully said the word again, drawing out the ‘r’ sound. Then he repeated it in two other languages.
Yunho just gave him his special “Leader is going to beat your ass really hard, and not in the sexy way either”-look.
“We could play soccer!” Junsu piped up, having been distracted from the orgy conversation by the piles of camping props strewn about the area.
He picked out a beachball and tried to kick it over to Changmin, but a gust of wind hurtled the ball sideways and out of sight behind the wardrobe trailer.
In fact, despite the shelter from the canyon walls, the wind was starting to stir up quite a bit of dust and sand, and suddenly the idea of running around outside seemed way less appealing than it had a couple of minutes previous.
“I think I got something in my eye,” whined Changmin, turning to Jaejoong.
Jaejoong patted Changmin gently on the head and kissed his elbow.
Junsu trotted over to actually help Changmin with his eye.
Yunho finally suggested that, seeing as they couldn’t come to a consensus as to what kind of trouble to get into just yet, they should hide in the camper that had been rented for the shoot before any more of them were blinded by the dust and debris in the air.
Piling into the recreational vehicle, the members were surprised to find that it was actually filled with *stuff*, as if it actually belonged to someone instead of just being rented from an agency.
Yoochun and Jaejoong made some quiet joke about the bed that took up one third of the back of the camper as they tumbled onto it together, grabbing pillows to cuddle. Junsu started opening cupboards at random, and Changmin poked around the dining area until he figured out how to expand both the table and the u-shaped bench wrapped around it so that at least four of them could sit comfortably. Junsu being the shortest one was going to have to sit on the kitchen counter though, as far as Yunho could tell.
“It looks like we got under cover just in time,” Yunho said, pointing out the window at the blizzard of sand outside. “And, Yoochun, stop pouting about the outdoor sex thing or I’m going to have to come back there to hit you.” He didn’t even have to look at his groupmate to know what Yoochun’s expression was.
Jaejoong laughed softly and squished Yoochun into the mattress to cheer him up.
After three rousing rounds of ‘human sandwich game’ (because they hadn’t played it in a while and they’d sort of forgotten how entertaining it could be), the five Dong Bang Shin Ki members were sprawled across the bed in a hopeless tangle, completely out of breath and very sweaty. The air inside the camper was stifling, but the wind was still going strong, so they couldn’t open a window, much less take their roughhousing outdoors.
The tension among the boys was thick.
Out of the corner of his eye, Yunho saw Jaejoong pinch Changmin…high up and on the inside of his thigh.
Quickly, Yunho leapt to his feet and bellowed, “Let’s play a game!”
Successfully distracted, Jaejoong hopped up to poke around the interior of the camper.
“What kind of game? Do they have a deck of cards here or something? They must. There’s so much crap,” he mumbled as he burrowed into a closet.
“I could show you a magic trick!” suggested Junsu from underneath Yoochun, who apparently had not gotten the memo that they were done playing ‘human sandwich’.
“Oh! There are board games!” Jaejoong started pulling out boxes and boxes of games from the bottom shelf of the closet.
Yoochun and Changmin sorted through the games and the only one they could find that allowed for five players was ‘Clue’. Unfortunately, none of them knew how to play the game except Yoochun who said he thought he might remember the rules if he concentrated really, really hard… and got a kiss from Junsu.
Junsu obliged readily.
And Yoochun forgot about the game until Yunho tried to brain him with the box.
The boys gathered in the kitchen area and dumped the contents of the game onto the table. Jaejoong grabbed the red playing piece, and Changmin the purple. Junsu lunged for the blue one and Yoochun just scooped up the yellow. When everyone else was done, Yunho picked up the green piece.
“Okay,” said Yoochun. “Now let’s look at the rules.”
Changmin unfolded a monster sized sheet of paper that was almost completely covered with a solid block of text… in really small font. They all stared at it for a minute. Then four of them turned to Yoochun.
“Uh.” He cleared his throat. “I, uh… You know, we don’t need the rules. I remember how to play,” he announced, authoritatively, kind of.
Changmin bent over the rule sheet and began to slowly decipher the instructions.
Meanwhile, Yoochun set up the board.
“It’s a murder mystery,” he said to the other three members, who were looking at him with crushing trust and admiration. “This is the house where the murder took place. And we’re supposed to guess who committed the murder, in which room, and with which weapon, based on the clues we get as we play.”
Yoochun snuck a glance at the rule sheet.
“Okay, so first we need to put three cards in the secret envelope.” He shuffled through the cards that they’d spilled across the table. “We need a person, a place, and a weapon.”
Yunho held up a card with a lady in red on it. Jaejoong picked up a card with something that looked like a dildo. Junsu pointed at a card with a bookshelf on it.
“Okay. Miss Scarlett… in the library… with the wrench.” Yoochun put the cards in the secret envelope.
Changmin smacked him.
“The cards in the secret envelope are supposed to be a secret, dumbass. The game is to guess which cards are in there.”
“Are you sure?”
Changmin gave him a look.
Yoochun dumped the three cards back out onto the table.
“Fine, everyone close your eyes and I’ll pick three cards to put in the envelope.”
“Wait, I don’t think-”
Yunho covered Changmin’s eyes with one hand and Changmin’s mouth with the other.
“Just let him play it however he wants,” he whispered in Changmin’s ear. “It’ll make him happy.”
Yunho could feel Changmin rolling his eyes.
“Nobody ever wants to make me happy,” he muttered.
So Yunho didn’t stop it when Jaejoong slid his hand up Changmin’s thigh again to stroke gently at the crease at his hip. He just closed his eyes and pretended that they were actually about to play an innocent children’s board game.
“Okay! Done. You guys can look now.” Yoochun beamed at them. “So then the players each roll the die and move around the board. When you get to one of the rooms, you can make accusations.”
“What if you guess wrong?” asked Jaejoong, head cocked to one side.
Yoochun brandished the cards in his hand.
“If you guess wrong, meaning you guess something that is in this deck here, and not in the envelope, then you get to keep that card.”
Jaejoong withdrew his hand from Changmin’s hip so that he could lean forward on his elbows and really concentrate on what Yoochun was saying.
“For example, say you guess, Miss Scarlett in the Library with the Gun. I’ll check my cards and if I have Miss Scarlett, the Library, or the Gun cards, I have to give them to you. Then you’ll know that those cards are not in the secret envelope because you’re holding them. But don’t show them to the others, because then they’ll know too, and the object of the game is to be the first to figure out what’s in the envelope.”
Jaejoong blinked, a worried expression on his face.
“Don’t worry, Jaejoong.” Yunho patted his hair. “We’re just playing for fun. None of us get it. We’ll make it up as we go along.”
Changmin rustled the rule sheet again and gave Yoochun a pointed look.
Yoochun snatched the sheet and stuffed it under his seat cushion.
“Did any of you spend part of your childhood in America? No? Then don’t tell me how to play American children’s games. Yunho-hyung, put your marker down somewhere on the board and then roll!”
With eyes wide, Yunho hurried to do as commanded.
He rolled a ‘5’ which got him nowhere near a room. So he looked to Yoochun for further directions.
“Jaejoongie’s turn,” he stated imperiously.
Jaejoong rolled.
And then Junsu.
And then Changmin.
They stared at Yoochun.
Who muttered quietly, “...But do I get to roll? I’m the Clue Keeper though.”
“I don’t think you get to play if you’re holding all the clues,” said Yunho quietly, meekly. “It wouldn’t be fair, because you know what’s inside the envelope.”
Yoochun nodded suddenly. “You’re right. Of course. Now I remember.”
“Whatever, you ‘remember’,” said Changmin under his breath.
Yunho grabbed Changmin’s face and tongue-kissed him to shut him up.
“Gee, Changminnie’s kind of prickly today…” said Junsu, edging away from the table a bit.
Yoochun shrugged. “It’s the heat. You know how he gets. Let Yunho handle him. Or Jaejoong jump him. Whatever comes first. They know how to fix it.”
But Jaejoong was staring intently at the game board.
On his next roll, Jaejoong managed to move his playing piece into the Study.
“Yay! Now you get to make guesses, hyung!” chirped Junsu.
Jaejoong bit his lip and looked worriedly at the pile of cards in Yoochun’s hand.
“I… guess, the red girl, with the gun, in the room that I’m in right now,” he said slowly.
Yoochun shuffled through the cards.
“Oo,” he cooed, “I have two of those, so we know that one of your guesses is in the secret envelope!”
He handed two cards, face down, to Jaejoong. But when Jaejoong leaned over to take them, Yoochun surprised him with a kiss. Long and deep.
Jaejoong beamed and held his cards close.
Changmin narrowed his eyes.
“I’m making it into an adult game,” said Yoochun with an airy tone, waving Changmin off before he could say anything. “One kiss from the Clue Keeper for every correct guess.”
Yunho just silently handed the die to Junsu. This was going to be a long and very awkward game, he thought to himself.
Junsu rolled a ‘6’ but got turned around on the board and ended up still nowhere. He shrugged and asked if he could get a kiss anyway. Yoochun said ‘sure’, but Changmin said ‘no’.
“If you’re going to invent stupid rules, at least learn to follow them!” he shouted.
“But Junsu asked for a kiss!” Yoochun bellowed back.
Yunho grabbed Junsu by the back of the neck and kissed him.
Then he handed Changmin the die and gestured for him to roll his turn.
Changmin made it into the Library and he guessed the yellow guy in the kitchen with the rope.
Yoochun handed him three cards.
Jaejoong looked enviously at the cards in Changmin’s hand and tried to peek surreptitiously at their faces.
“You don’t need to look at them, Jaejoong-ah,” said Yunho, ever patient. “If Changmin got three cards from Yoochunnie that means all three of his guesses were wrong, so you already know what those cards are. Yellow guy, kitchen, and rope.”
“Hyung!”
“It’s just a game, Changmin. Calm down.”
Jaejoong very seriously dropped a kiss on Changmin’s shoulder, and Changmin settled back into his seat, though he still looked disgruntled.
“Here, I’ll show you mine,” said Jaejoong helpfully.
“Hyung!” This time it was Junsu’s turn to protest. “Yoochunnie says you’re supposed to keep your cards secret.”
Yunho and Yoochun reached out in various directions to pat everyone in a soothing manner so as to restore order to the game as quickly as possible.
When Yunho landed in the Billiard room, he guessed: “red girl with the pipe in the library.”
Yoochun blinked.
“I’ve still got the pipe card…” He slid the card in question over to Yunho. “But I already gave the red girl to Jaejoongie…”
Changmin slumped face down onto the table.
“I think that means Jaejoongie’s supposed to give his card to Yunho-hyung, then.” Yoochun looked pensive. “Or was I not supposed to say anything? But then… how would we narrow down the choices…”
Jaejoong clutched his cards tightly.
“How about I trade you a kiss for your red girl card?” Yunho asked over Changmin’s still prone form.
Jaejoong perked right up.
“Okay!” he chirped, handing over the card right away.
Yunho had to stand up a bit to reach, but Jaejoong met him half way. It started soft, but then Jaejoong parted his lips just a fraction of a centimetre, just enough to tease, and Yunho immediately surged forward. His left hand tangled in the hair at the nape of Jaejoong’s neck and his right was splayed wide on Jaejoong’s chest, palming his heartbeat. Jaejoong was forced to balance himself against Changmin who was still lying between them on the table.
Yoochun cleared his throat.
Junsu shouted in indignation.
Changmin just sighed.
When they finally pulled apart, Junsu had taken it upon himself to roll two more turns for himself. He was only able to make one guess, though, and it was wrong on all counts so Yoochun slid his three cards over.
Jaejoong gazed enviously at Junsu’s three cards.
His tongue flicked out to wet his lips.
Junsu grinned.
And then he pursed his lips, just a little bit, the way Jaejoong had taught him years ago when Junsu was given his first ever ‘sexy’ image for a photoshoot.
+++
By the time the windstorm died down and their managers thought to actually look for them, the boys were down to just rolling the die and giving each other kisses. The game of Clue was completely forgotten. Luckily, their managers had long ago learned to write off the random Dong Bang kisses as a weird by-product of being forced to live together since puberty and they didn’t find it too odd to walk in on Yoochun making kissy faces at Changmin… who’d planted his foot firmly against Yoochun’s sternum to fend him off.
Yunho thought it was incredibly lucky, though, that the YooMin couple blocked their managers from seeing the full on make-out session going down between Jaejoong and the still-shirtless Junsu. No matter how many weird tableaus they’d walked in on, Yunho didn’t think their managers would ever be ready to see Jaejoong grinding up little Junsu against the kitchen counter like a teenager in heat.
“Ahem.”
The boys froze. Junsu slithered off the counter and squirmed his way over to Changmin… who stood up tall to hide the fact that Junsu was half naked and sporting a pretty perky erection which was quite visible through his thin shorts.
“The guides say it’s safe to move out now, so we’re packing it up…”
“Yes, hyung. We’ll just be a second.”
Yunho directed his members to clean up the mess they’d made like the good, polite little boys that they were.
One of the manager hyung discreetly threw Junsu’s wadded up shirt back into the camper so that he could get dressed before coming out.
“Now we’ll never know who the murderer is,” said Jaejoong forlornly as he tucked the game back into its spot in the closet.
“Serves you right for getting distracted with Junsu,” said Yoochun and Changmin at the same time.
Yunho just smiled and looped an arm around Junsu’s shoulders as they filed out of the camper, pulling him close to press a kiss against his temple.
"So you had the green guy, candlestick, and dining room cards, right?"
+++
Two days later on the plane back to Seoul, Yoochun was rudely awakened by Yunho poking insistently at his face.
“Yoochun, Yoochun-ah. I think I figured it out… It was the lady in white with the knife in the room with the desk that Jaejoongie was first in, right?”
Yoochun was still pretty much asleep, but gave Yunho a kiss anyway. It involved a lot of tongue, and they might have traumatized the granny sitting in the row behind them.
“I would have made a great criminal prosecutor!” Yunho boasted... for the next couple of hours... to anyone who would listen.
Actually, he wasn't at all even close to right, but Yoochun didn't have the heart to tell him that the kiss was a "shut up and let me sleep"-kiss, not a "congratulations on winning this game that i don't really know how to play so i made up some shitastic rules"-kiss. So Yoochun just turned the fan above his seat to 'high' and curled up under his standard issue Korean Air blankie to continue sleeping under the cool air conditioning of the plane.
===
END
** warning: this is NOT how you play 'Clue', by the way. so close, and yet so far from the actual rules. kekekeke.
HAPPY NEW YEAR~~~ ♥