SPN FIC - All I Have To Do Is Dream
Want another one? Have another one. I'm on a roll. (I also seem to be in a "Lisa and Ben" mood.)
"I've never had this dream before," he told Sam, but he might as well have saved his breath.
Characters: Dean
Genre: Gen
Spoilers: Most of Season 3
Rating: PG
Length: 463 words
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS DREAM
By Carol Davis
"I've never had this dream before," he told Sam, but he might as well have saved his breath. He could have tried qualifying it - saying, "I've never had this dream before, with you standing there in the middle of it." Or, "I've never had this dream before and felt so freakin' guilty about it." Except that that's not true either. Sam's been in the dream before. And he's felt guilty about it plenty of times.
Because it's stupid, is what it is.
And because he's not always asleep when he dreams about Lisa and Ben.
TV commercials send him off in that direction so often that he feels like some stupid old dog shuffling after the scent of food. When he's surfing channels, and Sam's not looking, he imagines himself running one of those Swiffer Wet Jet things across Lisa's kitchen floor. Their kitchen floor. It kinda looks like fun, he thinks.
Home Depot? He'd go nuts in Home Depot. Buying those fancy shelves to put together in the closet. Checking out the new-model lawn mowers. Picking up one of those laser level things so he can hang pictures. And paint, of course. He's never painted a room in his life, but it can't be that hard. Especially if you've got some of that blue tape.
Laundry soap might be a situation. There's too many damn kinds of that stuff. But he'd wow Lisa with his laundry skills. He's been doing laundry since he was six.
And, et cetera.
Sometimes, when he and Sam drive past a ball field where a game is going on, he wants to stop and watch. Wants to sit in the stands and imagine Ben's out there on the field, wowing the other kids, carrying the team to one awesome victory after another. He wants to imagine Lisa's sitting beside him, the envy of all the other moms because she's gorgeous and her son rocks the planet. And because she's sitting next to Dean. "Best night of my life" Dean.
Take your turn, ladies, he thinks. More than enough of me to go around.
Sam looks at him, sometimes, when he's letting his imagination wander like that. Quirks an eyebrow like he thinks that'll nudge Dean into 'fessing up what he's thinking. He figures Dean is contemplating Important Stuff, of course. Like the fact that he's only got a few months left. As if it was possible to contemplate that without going absolutely freaking insane.
So he thinks about Swiffers. And painting Ben's room with Ben at his side, both of them splattered and smeared and laughing.
He thinks about Lisa's kiss and the look in her eyes when she said he could stay.
He wishes he could stay.
With them.
With Sam.
With anybody.
But he can't.
~~~~~~~~~~~