SPN FIC - Men in Tights
Written for the Summer Fun Comment Fic Meme at spn_bigpretzel -- from mamapranayama's prompt, "Sam and Dean have to investigate a summer renaissance fair and are hired to play different roles, but Dean gets seriously pissed when Sam is chosen to play a knight and he gets stuck with a Jester's costume."
"Superman," Dean says, "didn't wear any frigging BELLS."
CHARACTERS: Sam and Dean
GENRE: Gen
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: None
LENGTH: 500 words
MEN IN TIGHTS
By Carol Davis
"Batman," Sam says firmly.
Dean scowls at him. The expression's almost funny, because it's a three-year-old's scowl, complete with thrust-out lower lip.
What's even funnier is the wheels that aren't turning in Dean's head.
"What?" he demands.
"Batman wore tights," Sam says.
Truth be told, Dean's got the better end of this deal. The trees provide quite a bit of shade, and there's a little bit of a breeze, but the day's still hot - headed close to 90, according to the forecast they heard on the car radio on the way here. It's not a day to be wearing wool and chain mail, the attire of a knight. The helmet's going to be a bitch and a half.
So, Dean's wearing tights. The upper half of his outfit is loose. Provides for a little bit of ventilation.
"Superman," Sam persists.
"Superman," Dean says, "didn't wear any frigging BELLS."
"Then don't wear the hat."
"They said I had to wear the hat."
"Dude."
"Was this your idea?"
"Yes, Dean," Sam sighs. "It was my idea to wear a suit of armor in ninety-degree heat. Has it occurred to you that I'm going to cook in this get-up?"
Dean's expression shifts a little.
"Green Hornet," Sam says.
"The Green Hornet wore a freaking trenchcoat."
"Green…something, then."
"Green Arrow, asshat."
"The whole superhero lineup," Sam ventures, because he's pretty sure. He spent a lot more time doing puzzles and working with maps as a kid than he did reading comic books, but he's pretty sure. Those dudes all wear tights. Every last one of 'em. DC and Marvel. Well, except for the Green Hornet. And the Hulk. "Besides," he adds, looking past Dean, out into the RenFair's growing crowd, only a few of whom are wearing street clothes, "you get to mingle with the population while I do this jousting nonsense."
Dean turns to look, in time to greet a blonde in full Medieval dress as she hurries past.
When he stops looking - when his attention returns to Sam - he's grinning.
"Boobies," he says cheerfully, like the three-year-old he will never stop being. "Place is freakin' full of 'em."
"So you're good with the tights, then?"
Dean glances down, and his face again clouds over. "What'm I supposed to do if -"
"Carry something."
"I - what?"
"Like middle school, man. Carry something. Or stand behind a tree."
Knights are beginning to stride past, headed for the jousting field. A couple of them beckon to Sam, full of good cheer and the will to win, and he smiles as he nods agreement. He's been through worse. With luck, he won't have to wear the chain mail all day.
"This was your idea," Dean grouses.
"Whatever, man," Sam shrugs. "Go jingle your bells at the fair maidens. I'll catch up with you after the joust."
As he walks away, he can hear a tentative jingling sound behind him.
"There's beer," he calls back over his shoulder, then hurries to catch up with the other knights.
* * * * *
"Superman," Dean says, "didn't wear any frigging BELLS."
CHARACTERS: Sam and Dean
GENRE: Gen
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: None
LENGTH: 500 words
MEN IN TIGHTS
By Carol Davis
"Batman," Sam says firmly.
Dean scowls at him. The expression's almost funny, because it's a three-year-old's scowl, complete with thrust-out lower lip.
What's even funnier is the wheels that aren't turning in Dean's head.
"What?" he demands.
"Batman wore tights," Sam says.
Truth be told, Dean's got the better end of this deal. The trees provide quite a bit of shade, and there's a little bit of a breeze, but the day's still hot - headed close to 90, according to the forecast they heard on the car radio on the way here. It's not a day to be wearing wool and chain mail, the attire of a knight. The helmet's going to be a bitch and a half.
So, Dean's wearing tights. The upper half of his outfit is loose. Provides for a little bit of ventilation.
"Superman," Sam persists.
"Superman," Dean says, "didn't wear any frigging BELLS."
"Then don't wear the hat."
"They said I had to wear the hat."
"Dude."
"Was this your idea?"
"Yes, Dean," Sam sighs. "It was my idea to wear a suit of armor in ninety-degree heat. Has it occurred to you that I'm going to cook in this get-up?"
Dean's expression shifts a little.
"Green Hornet," Sam says.
"The Green Hornet wore a freaking trenchcoat."
"Green…something, then."
"Green Arrow, asshat."
"The whole superhero lineup," Sam ventures, because he's pretty sure. He spent a lot more time doing puzzles and working with maps as a kid than he did reading comic books, but he's pretty sure. Those dudes all wear tights. Every last one of 'em. DC and Marvel. Well, except for the Green Hornet. And the Hulk. "Besides," he adds, looking past Dean, out into the RenFair's growing crowd, only a few of whom are wearing street clothes, "you get to mingle with the population while I do this jousting nonsense."
Dean turns to look, in time to greet a blonde in full Medieval dress as she hurries past.
When he stops looking - when his attention returns to Sam - he's grinning.
"Boobies," he says cheerfully, like the three-year-old he will never stop being. "Place is freakin' full of 'em."
"So you're good with the tights, then?"
Dean glances down, and his face again clouds over. "What'm I supposed to do if -"
"Carry something."
"I - what?"
"Like middle school, man. Carry something. Or stand behind a tree."
Knights are beginning to stride past, headed for the jousting field. A couple of them beckon to Sam, full of good cheer and the will to win, and he smiles as he nods agreement. He's been through worse. With luck, he won't have to wear the chain mail all day.
"This was your idea," Dean grouses.
"Whatever, man," Sam shrugs. "Go jingle your bells at the fair maidens. I'll catch up with you after the joust."
As he walks away, he can hear a tentative jingling sound behind him.
"There's beer," he calls back over his shoulder, then hurries to catch up with the other knights.
* * * * *