Tumblr things... (poss trig?)

[fierceawakening]

I am really, really, really uncomfortable with asexuality being considered "queer." I do understand that asexuals are a minority, and a misunderstood one. I even agree that they can face violence for their identities, such as corrective rape intended to "make" them sexual or to "make" them confess to "really" being sexual.

I do not believe that this

Comments

[lightningxsnow]

Fucking thank you for writing this. Said it way better than I ever could.

[fierceawakening]

Personally, see any prejudice asexual people face as (if there is anything truly analogous, which there isn't really) similar to prejudice kinksters face. It does exist, and it CAN suck rocks. But it's not systemic in the same way

[neonstilettos]

Agree 110%. Sorry, but a straight woman who doesn't want to have sex with her boyfriend does not face the same marginalization as a homosexual or bisexual or transgender person. It's almost like straight people just want some sort of "oppressed-sounding" label or something so they can feel special? Idk. Like "omg I'm not straight I'm ~ace~ how dare u assume". Yeah, hush.

[fierceawakening]

a straight woman who doesn't want to have sex with her boyfriend

Or even "a woman who has sex with her boyfriend because her boyfriend is sexual and she is not." That's just... when I read things like that I just wonder "why would I need that level of detail about your life?" (And also worry about the person -- while I don't think having sex for someone else's benefit is always bad, if this is a big thing in the relationship, I'm... really not sure that person is with the right person.)

[kawakiisakazuki]

Next thing we know singles will be queer too?
Because hey, Singlism!

[roykay]

I see queer and a variant on gender-queer, i.e defined as outside the gender binary. As such, asexual is sort of out of the classification, since there is am implicit sexuality being played outside the gender binary. I mean why define yourself as sexual at all, when you are resolutely not so?

There MAY be something to it for those who are Autosexual, i.e. who masturbate but do not really want to do much with other people's sexuality. They may even like and peruse porn from the safe sterile distance of the screen. So they may respond to "gender-queer" porn genre.

But for the purely asexual, queer just doesn't enter into it. It's sort of like an atheist calling themself pantheist.

[fierceawakening]

But for the purely asexual, queer just doesn't enter into it. It's sort of like an atheist calling themself pantheist.

That's how I feel about it too. I've had people tell me queer means "outside the norm" and -- I don't know. I'm sure some people use it that way. But I'm uncomfortable with that, when homophobia isn't JUST "outsidethenormophobia." I don't doubt that asexuals, kinky folks, poly people, and other people who are outside the norm are belittled, shamed, perhaps even oppressed (I'm torn on that because there are several things the word could mean). But I don't think it's the same stuff that people face for being queer where queer is limited to meaning people with same-gender attraction.

It's different. I wish people would let it be different.

[roykay]

I agree.

Now if (my pet peeve) we could only get people to stop using "slut" to mean "sub" or "slut for one" when they mean "nympho for one".