The Daily Prophet - Sports Section EXTRA!
Date: Tuesday, 5 September, 2000
Time: Morning Edition
Characters Involved: The Daily Prophet
Rating: G
HARRY POTTER JOINS TUTSHILL TORNADOS AS SEEKER!
By “Pitch” Malbum
Yesterday afternoon at 14:00 exactly, Terrance “Taffy” Tocknell, owner of the Tutshill Tornados and current President of Q.U.A.C.K., (Quidditch United Association of the Concerned Keepers of Quidditch) the Association of all Owners of Professional Quidditch Teams in the British and Irish Professional League, announced that Harry James Potter, The Boy Who Lived, The Chosen One and Our Saviour had officially contracted with the Tutshill Tornados to play Seeker next season. The current Seeker, Mr. Twrch “BoBo” Baynham, finished this Season of play and had previously announced his retirement at the end of the Season. Loyal readers of The Prophet may recall that Mr. Baynham had suffered a freak off-season quill accident involving his inner ear which had impacted his balance. Mr. Tocknell was quick to thank Mr. Baynham for his twenty years of service to the team.
Mr. Tocknell was joined at the podium by Preston Gand, Spokeswizard for Q.U.A.C.K. Latecomers to the press conference, Mr. Rupert Blackthorn, Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports and Minister of Magic, Rudiger Shingleton made their way to the front of the crowd as soon as they arrived. Mr. Tocknell announced that none of the contract provisions between the Tornados and Mr. Potter would be made public. Mr. Gand confirmed that this was fully in keeping with Q.U.A.C.K. guidelines. Minister of Magic Rudiger Shingleton then assumed the podium and hardily approved the proceedings, giving his full support to Mr. Potter’s decision to participate in Professional Quidditch. “This is great news for wizards and witches everywhere. I’m sure we’re all agreed that having professional quidditch back in play in the wizarding community is a welcome return to normalcy and demonstrates the hard work and concerted efforts of many members of the Magical Games and Sports Department. The Ministry of Magic is at daily toil working for the good of our community.”
When this reporter asked “Taffy” if Mr. Potter would be attending this year’s Playoffs, “Taffy” gave “Pitch” this exclusive! “Mr. Potter is a huge fan of the Tornados. Of course, ‘Pitch’, we’re bloody bothered that the Tornados aren’t in the Playoffs. But Harry’s a good egg and he’ll have my own private skybox for his use at all Playoff games. I like my boys to see what the other blokes are up to before they head out onto the Pitch next season!” Mr. Gand confirmed that Mr. Tocknell will be using the Q.U.A.C.K. skybox reserved for their President for this year’s Playoff games! In a rare show of Q.U.A.C.K. unity, Mr. Potter has been granted the use of a skybox at EACH of the Playoff games! He can’t attend them all….or can he?
Neither Mr. Tocknell nor Mr. Gand would take questions about Mr. Potter’s recent lackluster performance on the Pitch at the Hogwarts Benefit Match as part of the Hogsmeade Carnival. Nor would they comment on whether negotiations are continuing with Mr. Potter’s “friend”, Mr. Draco Malfoy, winning Seeker of that charity match, and former Seeker for Slytherin House,
Quidditch fans, and witches who want to spot our community’s Most Eligible Bachelor are encouraged to notify this reporter if they spot Mr. Potter on the Pitch! Good luck ladies!
This reporter would remind all Quidditch fans that tickets for this year’s Playoff games are now on sale!
Next year’s Pre-season Quidditch will begin on March 1, 2001. Be sure to watch The Daily Prophet for all the news and information about ticket sales for the Tutshill Tornados and all the Professional Teams of the British and Irish League!