October 3rd; actionasideglanceOctober 4 2011, 02:33:08 UTC
[Sometime between working on the subway and dealing with others, Japan made it back to the apartment. Maybe Marco was with him, maybe he wasn't, but the country had been especially quiet today, aside from certain direct statements that were required on the job.
He was slipping, wasn't he? How much longer could he keep up this sort of act? Seifer could always do it. Seifer was always... ... That didn't even matter. He was Japan. The Empire of Greater Japan, so why was he struggling with such simple issues...
His thoughts aside, he was too stubborn to stop normal activities. He had to keep it up, right? As long as he could. And so he'd go straight for the kitchen to make dinner, though silently.]
October 3rd; actionfierybluebirdOctober 4 2011, 07:42:52 UTC
Hey Bushido.
[Ruffles his head. He can tell the man is worked up, but Marco's starting to fall at a loss on how to fix it, or at minimum, lessen the pressure. He recalls one of their (many) rooftop conversations about too many options being laid out in front of him. Like a myriad of too many paths with too many twists to ever take back or possibly foresee coming. How could anyone choose the right course in front of them? And staying still, waiting forever so as not to make a mistake, that too was its own problem. At that time on the rooftop he'd agreed to try to take one course and let Japan take another so that they could compare which was the best one. This time he's not sure what to do though. His first instinct is just to be blunt. Would that make it worse, upset Japan even more for being insensitive? But Japan said he liked it when others were blunt.]
The air in here is worse than a shook up bottle of Cola, eh? [Reading the atmosphere, Japan could appreciate that, right? Or was it too much? Marco didn't want to
( ... )
October 3rd; actionasideglanceOctober 4 2011, 07:57:56 UTC
[Being blunt with Japan was probably one of the safest options. Somehow, the subtle man had come to learn to rely on others to be blunt in place of him. Not to mention to say exactly what was on his mind so he wouldn't have to... But who was around who would do that anymore?
Marco's words hit Japan like an insult, even though they're far from it, and he tenses, stopping what he's doing to shoot Marco a look. Angry, or upset, but, not sturdy. And so really, a perfect way to address just what was wrong.]
What is meant by that?! [Angrily, but above all, desperately. Was it obvious something was wrong? So was his sturdiness slipping already? Wasn't he supposed to be staying strong? All of these questions were rising and he didn't want to face them. He didn't want to face any sort of failure or screw up from himself, of course. So... it was natural that he'd get so defensive.
And his defense was more of an offense to begin with.] I have been working all day, you realize! Even before the subway... [...]If Marco does not like the air, he
( ... )
October 3rd; action donefierybluebirdOctober 4 2011, 08:19:48 UTC
Oi oi...
[Leans on his head, not caring whether that just makes Japan stab him or not.]
Did I say it was bad? Cola is best when shaken. You don't have to talk to me, but you should always feel that you can, eh? Because it'll take a lot more than this to get rid of me. You can try to protect me, but don't try to protect me from yourself. I think I've already proven that I can handle whatever you throw my way.
October 3rd; actionasideglanceOctober 4 2011, 08:32:20 UTC
[If there was ever a time where Japan could stab Marco, it was this LOL. But he doesn't. He just twitches, thinking on those words.
Protect? It wasn't even... Okay well maybe. In that he didn't think he could get better from this mood and he didn't want to yell at Marco and yet here he still was... And he had wanted to be 'strong'. Whatever that was.]
Would talking help? [He sounds sort of bitter, as if he's tried in the past and it hasn't. BUT REALLY he's just been extremely vague and dropped topics and been a jerk. ...Still he's standing by this yes.]
October 3rd; actionfierybluebirdOctober 4 2011, 08:47:30 UTC
Beats me. I'm the one who never wants to talk, eh. And you always make me. At least tell me what's on your mind.
[Moves to sit down.] I've been acting like I don't notice, and you've been acting like you don't know I noticed -- [He assumes that Japan has noticed that, though it was getting a bit ridiculous.] and I can keep on doing that, but if that was working, the air wouldn't be so thick, eh?
[Puts on his glasses and peers up Japan trying to look smart and use his secret cute!weakness against him.] Don't you trust me like I trust you?
October 3rd; actionasideglanceOctober 4 2011, 08:58:28 UTC
[He turns back at that angrily. It wasn't in his ability right now, with this mindset, to guess that Marco would be saying these things on purpose. All he heard was another insult-- and at the same time... a question he wasn't sure of the answer to.]
O-of course I--! [Actually this reminds him of a lot of old things. Did he even know what trust was? Through the anger, he's struck with a sad look.]
"Trust" is not that easy! How... [He stops himself. GOD HE IS SO EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW and he's super mad at Marco for being able to stay so calm... But at the same time... it's good for him to. ...Trust. How was he supposed to know how to trust. He couldn't... get used to it so fast... What was he supposed to do...
October 3rd; actionfierybluebirdOctober 4 2011, 09:10:34 UTC
[Softens his voice to a much lower quiet.]
You think I don't know that? But you're my nakama, there isn't anything you have to hold back from me if you don't want to. [Damn he was waffling again. Should he not give Japan room to run? Japan knew not to give Marco that space, but Marco couldn't bring himself to be that forceful. Not yet at least.]
October 3rd; actionasideglanceOctober 4 2011, 09:14:53 UTC
[As the sad leaks in to be stronger than the angry, Japan turns his back on Marco and just places a hand on the counter nearby. Confusion, too... He didn't want to hold anything back. But he didn't know how not to.
He didn't even know how to say that... And so he stood there silently, staring at some spot on the ground in front of him and trying to think up words.]
October 3rd; actionfierybluebirdOctober 4 2011, 09:28:38 UTC
[Marco got back up and walked over to join Japan with an arm around his shoulders.]
Start with Shiki. She doesn't seem to give a fuck that you're her country. Or maybe even hates you for it? And you miss home, ne? Tell me about that.
Or you can punch me in the jaw. [A small grin and points to it. It's his way of trying to make amends for having to go so blunt. If he has crossed the line; not letting Japan hide away like an emotional hikikomori; if that's a mistake, then he can at least try to repair that as well.] Square on, eh? I can take it.
October 3rd; actionasideglanceOctober 4 2011, 09:39:24 UTC
...
I told Marco... not to allow me to seclude. ...What sort of way were you thinking? What sort of ways have you been avoiding? I have been feeling quite lonely, you realize...
October 3rd; actionasideglanceOctober 4 2011, 09:41:09 UTC
Please do not accept things like "it is fine" and "please do not worry" when that is not the case! M-making me be so blunt...! My old heart cannot handle this sort of thing!
He was slipping, wasn't he? How much longer could he keep up this sort of act? Seifer could always do it. Seifer was always... ... That didn't even matter. He was Japan. The Empire of Greater Japan, so why was he struggling with such simple issues...
His thoughts aside, he was too stubborn to stop normal activities. He had to keep it up, right? As long as he could. And so he'd go straight for the kitchen to make dinner, though silently.]
Reply
[Ruffles his head. He can tell the man is worked up, but Marco's starting to fall at a loss on how to fix it, or at minimum, lessen the pressure. He recalls one of their (many) rooftop conversations about too many options being laid out in front of him. Like a myriad of too many paths with too many twists to ever take back or possibly foresee coming. How could anyone choose the right course in front of them? And staying still, waiting forever so as not to make a mistake, that too was its own problem. At that time on the rooftop he'd agreed to try to take one course and let Japan take another so that they could compare which was the best one. This time he's not sure what to do though. His first instinct is just to be blunt. Would that make it worse, upset Japan even more for being insensitive? But Japan said he liked it when others were blunt.]
The air in here is worse than a shook up bottle of Cola, eh? [Reading the atmosphere, Japan could appreciate that, right? Or was it too much? Marco didn't want to ( ... )
Reply
Marco's words hit Japan like an insult, even though they're far from it, and he tenses, stopping what he's doing to shoot Marco a look. Angry, or upset, but, not sturdy. And so really, a perfect way to address just what was wrong.]
What is meant by that?! [Angrily, but above all, desperately. Was it obvious something was wrong? So was his sturdiness slipping already? Wasn't he supposed to be staying strong? All of these questions were rising and he didn't want to face them. He didn't want to face any sort of failure or screw up from himself, of course. So... it was natural that he'd get so defensive.
And his defense was more of an offense to begin with.] I have been working all day, you realize! Even before the subway... [...]If Marco does not like the air, he ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Reply
[Leans on his head, not caring whether that just makes Japan stab him or not.]
Did I say it was bad? Cola is best when shaken. You don't have to talk to me, but you should always feel that you can, eh? Because it'll take a lot more than this to get rid of me. You can try to protect me, but don't try to protect me from yourself. I think I've already proven that I can handle whatever you throw my way.
Reply
Protect? It wasn't even... Okay well maybe. In that he didn't think he could get better from this mood and he didn't want to yell at Marco and yet here he still was... And he had wanted to be 'strong'. Whatever that was.]
Would talking help? [He sounds sort of bitter, as if he's tried in the past and it hasn't. BUT REALLY he's just been extremely vague and dropped topics and been a jerk. ...Still he's standing by this yes.]
Reply
[Moves to sit down.] I've been acting like I don't notice, and you've been acting like you don't know I noticed -- [He assumes that Japan has noticed that, though it was getting a bit ridiculous.] and I can keep on doing that, but if that was working, the air wouldn't be so thick, eh?
[Puts on his glasses and peers up Japan trying to look smart and use his secret cute!weakness against him.] Don't you trust me like I trust you?
Reply
O-of course I--! [Actually this reminds him of a lot of old things. Did he even know what trust was? Through the anger, he's struck with a sad look.]
"Trust" is not that easy! How... [He stops himself. GOD HE IS SO EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW and he's super mad at Marco for being able to stay so calm... But at the same time... it's good for him to. ...Trust. How was he supposed to know how to trust. He couldn't... get used to it so fast... What was he supposed to do...
Yes he's just frozen here.]
Reply
You think I don't know that? But you're my nakama, there isn't anything you have to hold back from me if you don't want to. [Damn he was waffling again. Should he not give Japan room to run? Japan knew not to give Marco that space, but Marco couldn't bring himself to be that forceful. Not yet at least.]
Reply
He didn't even know how to say that... And so he stood there silently, staring at some spot on the ground in front of him and trying to think up words.]
Reply
Start with Shiki. She doesn't seem to give a fuck that you're her country. Or maybe even hates you for it? And you miss home, ne? Tell me about that.
Or you can punch me in the jaw. [A small grin and points to it. It's his way of trying to make amends for having to go so blunt. If he has crossed the line; not letting Japan hide away like an emotional hikikomori; if that's a mistake, then he can at least try to repair that as well.] Square on, eh? I can take it.
Reply
But that offer. There's a pause.]
Reply
HE DOES IT. Punches him right in the jaw and huffs and stares...]
Reply
I told Marco... not to allow me to seclude. ...What sort of way were you thinking? What sort of ways have you been avoiding? I have been feeling quite lonely, you realize...
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment