"Hi, it's me. I was just calling to let you know that I'm getting married.... to myself.... Oh! and I'm registered at Manolo Blahnik"

I've decided that my relationship with Kyle is like my hair ( Read more... )

This is an unpolished and non-publish-ready essay I wrote expressing my own personal thoughts and opinions on a specific subject. If you actually take the time to read it all, well then, Enjoy.

The idea that it is a necessity for a woman to marry is a pretty standard archetype since history began to be recorded on paper. Lacking the rights that ( Read more... )

the guy with the balls, haha

This weekend, the day after Valentines Day my cousins, Jeremy and Julia held their monthly vaudville/burlesque/circus-type show, TORCH WITH A TWIST at Cliff Bells in Detroit. It was 21+, but, ya know, i got connections...


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I got 3 parking tickets this week... because the world hates me... then I lost my cell phone... so I had to go out and buy this new one:
( Read more... )

While commencing conversation about Shauna not being able to shit in houses other than her own, I said this:

"Shitting is like sex for me: I can do it anywhere, I do it about twice a day, and I love doing it."

I'm settling in at home with some half baked ben and jerry's, the latest issue of cosmo, and the sex and the city movie which I just bought ( Read more... )

me: "I would never make him admit that he likes Sex and the City... I wouldn't want to hurt his manhood."
Marissa: "Right, and that's you're favorite part of him!"
me: "It is! Look at you! You made a sex pun!"
Marissa: "Ha! I did! I made a sex pun!"

me and my incredible roommate have the funniest chats. I simply adore her.

I know they say you should never go to bed angry... but I think I'm going to have to make an exception tonight.