Remember When - Chapter two
This definitely wasn’t his best day. He didn’t get any sleep, tormenting himself with Kazuya’s face when the younger told him to leave. He knew he was hurt. And he knew that he was the one who hurt him. But what could he have done? Should he have refused to offer? Should he have said no to a concert in America when this was his dream since he could remember?!
No and Jin knew that Kazuya also knew that. Even if Kazuya would have never accepted such an offer, Jin was different from him. He had bigger dreams than KAT-TUN, he wanted to make it on his own. He was shy, but he also wanted to always be in the spotlight. He was selfish and he wanted all the attention for him, just for one time. Was he really to blame for this?
He didn’t know but he didn’t even bother anymore with the answers. The facts remained and Jin still had to face the other KAT-TUN members. He took a deep breath and opened the door to their dressing room, glancing through the room. They were all there and now they were all watching him.
“Good morning” Jin said with a low voice, nervously watching the others and waiting for their outburst.
Ueda was the first one to answer. “Good morning?” He asked, arching an eyebrow. “That’s all you have to say?”
“I’m sorry” he said, bowing in front of them. “I know I should have told you earlier, before you heard it from another person. And I’m sorry for accepting the offer without telling you” he continued, now facing the members.
“Good and now that you said you’re sorry, everything is fine, right? That changed everything, didn’t it?!” Koki almost yelled, even if he was trying to keep his calm.
“I know a simple sorry doesn’t change anything. But I can’t do anything more than this. I’m really sorry for leaving KAT-TUN a second time” he added, bowing again to show his remorse.
“So what? Can you promise us that this won’t happen again? This is the second time that we’re forced to hold concerts without you, Akanishi! This is the second time that we have to work double to cover for your absence!!” he finally shouted, anger written on his face. He couldn’t believe Akanishi had the nerve to appear in front of them like nothing happened. He trusted Jin and wanted to believe him when he said that he wasn’t going to leave KAT-TUN never again. But yet he did it again. And he did it for selfish reasons once more.
“What do you mean?” Jin asked confused. “What concerts are you talking about?”
“Are you stupid or what?” Koki answered, growing angrier. “I’m talking about the Asia Tour!”
“You won’t be a part of it, Jin” Nakamaru finally said, his voice calm but tired. He seemed disappointed too. He wasn’t expecting this kind of news, not now. He always knew that Jin wanted to perform abroad and he understood him. But he couldn’t say that he also understood his way of doing things.
“What?” was all Jin could say, shock written on his face. He didn’t hear anything about this. He didn’t know that his concerts in America would mean that he can’t be with KAT-TUN on their own worldwide tour. On his worldwide tour. Now he understood why the other members were so upset about his solo activities.
Hearing Jin’s question, Kazuya looked for the first time at his friend. He had listened to their talk but hadn’t joined, he didn’t feel like to do so. But the surprise in Jin’s voice made him look at him. Could it be that Jin didn’t know about this? It could, as Jin was one of the most air-headed persons he knew.
The moment his eyes locked with Jin’s, he was sure that he didn’t know. This thing almost made him laugh. He wanted to ironically ask ‘why so surprised’, but he would be too mean. And he wouldn’t be the one to harden the atmosphere in KAT-TUN. Whether he liked it or not, Jin was going to leave. He had his say - or at least, his share - last night; anything more and he’ll lose the little control he gained since hearing the ‘good’ news.
He shrugged and looked away for a second time. Everyone gets what they deserve, no?
But Jin wasn’t going to stay and argue with them anymore. He turned his back on them and exited the room, heading to Johnny’s office. He wanted an explanation.
*
He wasn’t sure now if this was supposed to be the best time in his life or the worse. He was excited when he first heard about his American tour, but now he had doubts. The fact that he didn’t know that he’ll have to leave KAT-TUN for a second time was affecting his decisions. He didn’t want to disappoint his band mates, he didn’t want to disappoint Kazuya. But he also didn’t want to refuse maybe the only chance to have a debut in America.
He sighed, finding himself in front of the door he was at last night too. After he stormed out of their dressing room, Jin had a long discussion with Johnny. When he came back, nobody was waiting for him. He wasn’t expecting them to do so, but he wanted another chance to explain them, to tell them that he really didn’t know about the consequences when he accepted that offer.
That’s why he braced himself and decided to make Kazuya another visit. He wasn’t sure if the younger one would listen to him, but he had to try. He didn’t want to part from him like this.
He knocked on the door and was surprised when Kazuya answered on his first try. He took a deep breath and looked at him.
“Can we talk?” he asked, insecurity pouring out of his voice.
“Sure, why not?” Kazuya replied, letting him inside the house. “Have a sit. I’ll bring us some drinks.”
Jin gulped but followed Kazuya and sat on the couch, looking more nervous than ever. He didn’t know what Kazuya’s relaxed attitude meant but he was sure it wasn’t something good. The last time he saw him like this they got into a huge fight and ended up not speaking for a long time.
Kazuya didn’t expect Jin to come so soon, but he had composed himself by now. He knew that he wouldn’t ask Jin to give up his dream nor that Jin would give it for KAT-TUN. They are different, they were from the start. Kazuya was the one bounded to the ground while Jin was the one to fly higher into the sky. They were like the sun and moon - never to be on the same sky. He knew and tried to accept this, but time wasn’t on his side. It made him accept it quicker, it made him realize what they truly were. So, with these thoughts, he was going to talk with Jin.
He poured to glasses, one with vodka - Jin’s favorite - and one with whisky - his favorite. He didn’t intend on getting themselves drunk, but he believed that they could take more easily with a glass of their favorite drink. Or, at least, this worked for him.
“Here.” He handed Jin’s glass when he returned into the room. He seated himself on the couch, crossing his legs under him. “So… what did you want to talk about?” he asked casually, sipping from his drink.
The strong taste of the whisky burnt his insides, but this helped him to keep his composure. The atmosphere felt amiable, but far from what they have shared. It was a pity, but Kazuya couldn’t find another way.
Jin fidgeted with his glass a little before he gulped it down in one go. He really needed something to calm himself down because Kazuya’s façade was giving him creeps. He was scared of this Kazuya because he never knew what to expect from him. Jin felt that he needed to be more careful than usual when Kazuya was like this but he had a bad habit to do a stupid thing and annoy the younger one even more exactly in this kind of moments.
This only made him feel more scared.
“I really didn’t know” he started, trying to find his words. “I thought I was going to be away for a couple of months top and I could be with you and KAT-TUN too. If I had known, I wouldn’t have accepted that easily. I would have wanted to discuss it with you guys before saying anything.”
He was just making excuses and he knew it. Even if they told him that he would have to leave KAT-TUN again, he still would have accepted it. Yes, it would have taken longer, but Jin wouldn’t have changed his decision. And he knew that Kazuya was aware of this.
“I’m really sorry, Kazuya” he asked for forgiveness, knowing that he won’t be receiving it that easily. But he was willing to try again and again until things between him and Kazuya would be the same.
But they never were even after he came back from LA the first time.
“Do you want another drink?” Kazuya asked, getting down of the sofa and snatching Jin’s empty glass. “Be back in a mo’.” He said, leaving a dumbfounded Jin behind.
What he was thinking? The idiot was digging his hole. His lame excuses weren’t doing any good and the way he kept on saying sorry pissed him off. All the time Jin talked, Kazuya only thought of how to make Jin swallow the glass in his hand. If only his mouth could’ve shut up! He kept on saying the biggest stupid things. Didn’t the baka realize that all he said was that he’d still leave whether KAT-TUN had concerts or not? How could someone be so dense?!
While Kazuya kept on scolding Jin in his mind, he also kept on pouring drinks in Jin’s glass and gulping them down. He had already drunk two or three glasses before Jin arrived at his apartment, but with the real thing inside his house those weren’t enough. So he refilled the glass over and over, drinking them one after another. That until Jin came searching for him.
“Kazu?” his voice echoed through the room, startling Kazuya.
The younger turned and faced Jin. He was still holding his glass, full again.
“Oh, you came!” he scoffed, taking the glass to his lips, but Jin prevented him to drink and took the glass from his hand and gobbled it down.
“Kazuya, what the hell are you doing?” he hissed, getting closer to the younger one.
“Beside being baka, you’re also blind?” Kazuya ironically replied, pushing Jin aside. He opened the fridge and took out a bottle of wine already opened and tried again to drink. Jin was faster than him this time too and took the bottle out of his hands and closed the fridge, after putting it back.
“Oh, I can see that you’re trying to get drunk to not have to deal with me” he said, now clearly annoyed.
“Wooo, you got yourself a little smarter!” Kazuya giggled, being mean.
Jin only rolled his eyes. He hated to see Kazuya like this because this was a Kazuya without control. Usually Kazuya would be more composed, would yell at Jin or would tell him to fuck off. He would definitely not giggle at him and say such things, which would have been funny if their situation had been different.
“I had to since I’m always with you” he answered, sighing helplessly. This won’t end well, he just knew it.
“Oh, really?” Kazuya replied looking a bit sober. “You wanted to talk, no?” he changed the subject, looking into Jin’s eyes. “You said you’re sorry. Ok, I understand that. Everyone is sorry.” He added with a shrug.
Kazuya took a deep breath and left the kitchen. He headed to his living room, to his private bar. If Jin thought he could stop him from drinking, then he was stupidly wrong. He opened the bar and took a bottle of gin. Coincidently enough the drink had the same name as the one who caused him to drink it. He took a great gulp of gin, feeling his insides recoiling. God, he loved that feeling! It felt worse than what he was feeling.
When Jin came into the room and saw Kazuya drinking again, he sighed and decided to give up. The younger one was stubborn and Jin knew he would keep it like this until he got what he wanted. He shrugged and thought that it’s better to join him in moments like these than to stop him from getting drunk. It was just the two of them, no paparazzi, no jimusho, no one to bother them. They could afford to get drunk for a night, even if he knew that now he won’t be able to talk with Kazuya.
Somehow, he had an idea that he couldn’t even before the glass of whisky shared with Jin.
So he walked over to the younger one and took out another bottle with vodka and opened it. He looked at Kazuya and with an ironic smile, he said: “Cheers.”
Kazuya returned his smile and repeated his salute. Now they were drinking friends. At least they were progressing somehow, even if Jin didn’t know if this was a good direction they were heading to.
A couple of hours later and a few emptied bottles, they were singing ‘Real face’ and laughing together. They had long passed the tipsy stage and now both of them were really drunk, barely standing. That’s mainly why they chose the floor, it was safer this way. Jin reached for a new bottle, but as soon as he got it Kazuya leaned over him to take it.
“Me first” Kazuya complained on a childish voice, trying to get the bottle from Jin.
Jin suddenly froze. Kazuya’s face was so close to his, he could feel his breath tickling his collarbone. He didn’t know why, but he was now feeling more nervous than he was the whole night. He was over conscious of Kazuya’s body touching his, their legs intertwined and Kazuya’s smell arousing him. He yelped when Kazuya closed his eyes, maybe because the younger one was tired, a image popping inside Jin’s head. So he did the first thing his mind thought of.
He leaned down and kissed Kazuya, touching his lips slowly, teasing them a little with his tongue. Kazuya moaned into the kiss, letting his arm fall on Jin’s shoulder. Jin felt encouraged by the younger’s answer so he deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slip into Kazuya’s mouth.
Something was happening to both of them. New feelings arose and they responded to the other’s touches with a passion they didn’t know it existed. They were getting closer with each minute that passed, both of them refusing to let the other go, afraid that when this kiss ends, everything will change between them and they won’t be able to turn back.
Jin’s hands were roaming on Kazuya’s back, wanting to feel more of the younger body, while Kazuya ravished his hair. Their tongues were in a continue battle, fighting for dominance, both winning and losing and after that starting all over again. Their kiss was addictive and they felt like they got drunker from this than from the alcohol.
When their lips finally parted, they looked into each other eyes, both panting and trying to regain their breath.
“Jin…” Kazuya whispered before closing his eyes and falling asleep in Jin’s arms.
“Huh?!” was all Jin could say at this point. He couldn’t believe Kazuya just felt asleep like that!!
And that night, with just a couple of drinks or more, everything began.
New feelings - or hidden ones - were born at last.
________________________
Hey there ^^ I hope you're enjoying our fanfic xD To those who commented for chapter one, thank you for reading and liking it <3
Hope you'll like this one too ^^
Comments are love :3
Hugs!
No and Jin knew that Kazuya also knew that. Even if Kazuya would have never accepted such an offer, Jin was different from him. He had bigger dreams than KAT-TUN, he wanted to make it on his own. He was shy, but he also wanted to always be in the spotlight. He was selfish and he wanted all the attention for him, just for one time. Was he really to blame for this?
He didn’t know but he didn’t even bother anymore with the answers. The facts remained and Jin still had to face the other KAT-TUN members. He took a deep breath and opened the door to their dressing room, glancing through the room. They were all there and now they were all watching him.
“Good morning” Jin said with a low voice, nervously watching the others and waiting for their outburst.
Ueda was the first one to answer. “Good morning?” He asked, arching an eyebrow. “That’s all you have to say?”
“I’m sorry” he said, bowing in front of them. “I know I should have told you earlier, before you heard it from another person. And I’m sorry for accepting the offer without telling you” he continued, now facing the members.
“Good and now that you said you’re sorry, everything is fine, right? That changed everything, didn’t it?!” Koki almost yelled, even if he was trying to keep his calm.
“I know a simple sorry doesn’t change anything. But I can’t do anything more than this. I’m really sorry for leaving KAT-TUN a second time” he added, bowing again to show his remorse.
“So what? Can you promise us that this won’t happen again? This is the second time that we’re forced to hold concerts without you, Akanishi! This is the second time that we have to work double to cover for your absence!!” he finally shouted, anger written on his face. He couldn’t believe Akanishi had the nerve to appear in front of them like nothing happened. He trusted Jin and wanted to believe him when he said that he wasn’t going to leave KAT-TUN never again. But yet he did it again. And he did it for selfish reasons once more.
“What do you mean?” Jin asked confused. “What concerts are you talking about?”
“Are you stupid or what?” Koki answered, growing angrier. “I’m talking about the Asia Tour!”
“You won’t be a part of it, Jin” Nakamaru finally said, his voice calm but tired. He seemed disappointed too. He wasn’t expecting this kind of news, not now. He always knew that Jin wanted to perform abroad and he understood him. But he couldn’t say that he also understood his way of doing things.
“What?” was all Jin could say, shock written on his face. He didn’t hear anything about this. He didn’t know that his concerts in America would mean that he can’t be with KAT-TUN on their own worldwide tour. On his worldwide tour. Now he understood why the other members were so upset about his solo activities.
Hearing Jin’s question, Kazuya looked for the first time at his friend. He had listened to their talk but hadn’t joined, he didn’t feel like to do so. But the surprise in Jin’s voice made him look at him. Could it be that Jin didn’t know about this? It could, as Jin was one of the most air-headed persons he knew.
The moment his eyes locked with Jin’s, he was sure that he didn’t know. This thing almost made him laugh. He wanted to ironically ask ‘why so surprised’, but he would be too mean. And he wouldn’t be the one to harden the atmosphere in KAT-TUN. Whether he liked it or not, Jin was going to leave. He had his say - or at least, his share - last night; anything more and he’ll lose the little control he gained since hearing the ‘good’ news.
He shrugged and looked away for a second time. Everyone gets what they deserve, no?
But Jin wasn’t going to stay and argue with them anymore. He turned his back on them and exited the room, heading to Johnny’s office. He wanted an explanation.
*
He wasn’t sure now if this was supposed to be the best time in his life or the worse. He was excited when he first heard about his American tour, but now he had doubts. The fact that he didn’t know that he’ll have to leave KAT-TUN for a second time was affecting his decisions. He didn’t want to disappoint his band mates, he didn’t want to disappoint Kazuya. But he also didn’t want to refuse maybe the only chance to have a debut in America.
He sighed, finding himself in front of the door he was at last night too. After he stormed out of their dressing room, Jin had a long discussion with Johnny. When he came back, nobody was waiting for him. He wasn’t expecting them to do so, but he wanted another chance to explain them, to tell them that he really didn’t know about the consequences when he accepted that offer.
That’s why he braced himself and decided to make Kazuya another visit. He wasn’t sure if the younger one would listen to him, but he had to try. He didn’t want to part from him like this.
He knocked on the door and was surprised when Kazuya answered on his first try. He took a deep breath and looked at him.
“Can we talk?” he asked, insecurity pouring out of his voice.
“Sure, why not?” Kazuya replied, letting him inside the house. “Have a sit. I’ll bring us some drinks.”
Jin gulped but followed Kazuya and sat on the couch, looking more nervous than ever. He didn’t know what Kazuya’s relaxed attitude meant but he was sure it wasn’t something good. The last time he saw him like this they got into a huge fight and ended up not speaking for a long time.
Kazuya didn’t expect Jin to come so soon, but he had composed himself by now. He knew that he wouldn’t ask Jin to give up his dream nor that Jin would give it for KAT-TUN. They are different, they were from the start. Kazuya was the one bounded to the ground while Jin was the one to fly higher into the sky. They were like the sun and moon - never to be on the same sky. He knew and tried to accept this, but time wasn’t on his side. It made him accept it quicker, it made him realize what they truly were. So, with these thoughts, he was going to talk with Jin.
He poured to glasses, one with vodka - Jin’s favorite - and one with whisky - his favorite. He didn’t intend on getting themselves drunk, but he believed that they could take more easily with a glass of their favorite drink. Or, at least, this worked for him.
“Here.” He handed Jin’s glass when he returned into the room. He seated himself on the couch, crossing his legs under him. “So… what did you want to talk about?” he asked casually, sipping from his drink.
The strong taste of the whisky burnt his insides, but this helped him to keep his composure. The atmosphere felt amiable, but far from what they have shared. It was a pity, but Kazuya couldn’t find another way.
Jin fidgeted with his glass a little before he gulped it down in one go. He really needed something to calm himself down because Kazuya’s façade was giving him creeps. He was scared of this Kazuya because he never knew what to expect from him. Jin felt that he needed to be more careful than usual when Kazuya was like this but he had a bad habit to do a stupid thing and annoy the younger one even more exactly in this kind of moments.
This only made him feel more scared.
“I really didn’t know” he started, trying to find his words. “I thought I was going to be away for a couple of months top and I could be with you and KAT-TUN too. If I had known, I wouldn’t have accepted that easily. I would have wanted to discuss it with you guys before saying anything.”
He was just making excuses and he knew it. Even if they told him that he would have to leave KAT-TUN again, he still would have accepted it. Yes, it would have taken longer, but Jin wouldn’t have changed his decision. And he knew that Kazuya was aware of this.
“I’m really sorry, Kazuya” he asked for forgiveness, knowing that he won’t be receiving it that easily. But he was willing to try again and again until things between him and Kazuya would be the same.
But they never were even after he came back from LA the first time.
“Do you want another drink?” Kazuya asked, getting down of the sofa and snatching Jin’s empty glass. “Be back in a mo’.” He said, leaving a dumbfounded Jin behind.
What he was thinking? The idiot was digging his hole. His lame excuses weren’t doing any good and the way he kept on saying sorry pissed him off. All the time Jin talked, Kazuya only thought of how to make Jin swallow the glass in his hand. If only his mouth could’ve shut up! He kept on saying the biggest stupid things. Didn’t the baka realize that all he said was that he’d still leave whether KAT-TUN had concerts or not? How could someone be so dense?!
While Kazuya kept on scolding Jin in his mind, he also kept on pouring drinks in Jin’s glass and gulping them down. He had already drunk two or three glasses before Jin arrived at his apartment, but with the real thing inside his house those weren’t enough. So he refilled the glass over and over, drinking them one after another. That until Jin came searching for him.
“Kazu?” his voice echoed through the room, startling Kazuya.
The younger turned and faced Jin. He was still holding his glass, full again.
“Oh, you came!” he scoffed, taking the glass to his lips, but Jin prevented him to drink and took the glass from his hand and gobbled it down.
“Kazuya, what the hell are you doing?” he hissed, getting closer to the younger one.
“Beside being baka, you’re also blind?” Kazuya ironically replied, pushing Jin aside. He opened the fridge and took out a bottle of wine already opened and tried again to drink. Jin was faster than him this time too and took the bottle out of his hands and closed the fridge, after putting it back.
“Oh, I can see that you’re trying to get drunk to not have to deal with me” he said, now clearly annoyed.
“Wooo, you got yourself a little smarter!” Kazuya giggled, being mean.
Jin only rolled his eyes. He hated to see Kazuya like this because this was a Kazuya without control. Usually Kazuya would be more composed, would yell at Jin or would tell him to fuck off. He would definitely not giggle at him and say such things, which would have been funny if their situation had been different.
“I had to since I’m always with you” he answered, sighing helplessly. This won’t end well, he just knew it.
“Oh, really?” Kazuya replied looking a bit sober. “You wanted to talk, no?” he changed the subject, looking into Jin’s eyes. “You said you’re sorry. Ok, I understand that. Everyone is sorry.” He added with a shrug.
Kazuya took a deep breath and left the kitchen. He headed to his living room, to his private bar. If Jin thought he could stop him from drinking, then he was stupidly wrong. He opened the bar and took a bottle of gin. Coincidently enough the drink had the same name as the one who caused him to drink it. He took a great gulp of gin, feeling his insides recoiling. God, he loved that feeling! It felt worse than what he was feeling.
When Jin came into the room and saw Kazuya drinking again, he sighed and decided to give up. The younger one was stubborn and Jin knew he would keep it like this until he got what he wanted. He shrugged and thought that it’s better to join him in moments like these than to stop him from getting drunk. It was just the two of them, no paparazzi, no jimusho, no one to bother them. They could afford to get drunk for a night, even if he knew that now he won’t be able to talk with Kazuya.
Somehow, he had an idea that he couldn’t even before the glass of whisky shared with Jin.
So he walked over to the younger one and took out another bottle with vodka and opened it. He looked at Kazuya and with an ironic smile, he said: “Cheers.”
Kazuya returned his smile and repeated his salute. Now they were drinking friends. At least they were progressing somehow, even if Jin didn’t know if this was a good direction they were heading to.
A couple of hours later and a few emptied bottles, they were singing ‘Real face’ and laughing together. They had long passed the tipsy stage and now both of them were really drunk, barely standing. That’s mainly why they chose the floor, it was safer this way. Jin reached for a new bottle, but as soon as he got it Kazuya leaned over him to take it.
“Me first” Kazuya complained on a childish voice, trying to get the bottle from Jin.
Jin suddenly froze. Kazuya’s face was so close to his, he could feel his breath tickling his collarbone. He didn’t know why, but he was now feeling more nervous than he was the whole night. He was over conscious of Kazuya’s body touching his, their legs intertwined and Kazuya’s smell arousing him. He yelped when Kazuya closed his eyes, maybe because the younger one was tired, a image popping inside Jin’s head. So he did the first thing his mind thought of.
He leaned down and kissed Kazuya, touching his lips slowly, teasing them a little with his tongue. Kazuya moaned into the kiss, letting his arm fall on Jin’s shoulder. Jin felt encouraged by the younger’s answer so he deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slip into Kazuya’s mouth.
Something was happening to both of them. New feelings arose and they responded to the other’s touches with a passion they didn’t know it existed. They were getting closer with each minute that passed, both of them refusing to let the other go, afraid that when this kiss ends, everything will change between them and they won’t be able to turn back.
Jin’s hands were roaming on Kazuya’s back, wanting to feel more of the younger body, while Kazuya ravished his hair. Their tongues were in a continue battle, fighting for dominance, both winning and losing and after that starting all over again. Their kiss was addictive and they felt like they got drunker from this than from the alcohol.
When their lips finally parted, they looked into each other eyes, both panting and trying to regain their breath.
“Jin…” Kazuya whispered before closing his eyes and falling asleep in Jin’s arms.
“Huh?!” was all Jin could say at this point. He couldn’t believe Kazuya just felt asleep like that!!
And that night, with just a couple of drinks or more, everything began.
New feelings - or hidden ones - were born at last.
________________________
Hey there ^^ I hope you're enjoying our fanfic xD To those who commented for chapter one, thank you for reading and liking it <3
Hope you'll like this one too ^^
Comments are love :3
Hugs!