The Kohler-Wielle Legacy 2.7
CAUTION: The usual 60 images or so... Child overload, CUBE!! YAY!! And bird imitations that would enrage ornithalogical enthusiasts the world over...
Need to catch up? Kohler-Wielle Archive
YES HELLO FAIR READERS! We embark again upon another intrepid, exciting, insane trip into the lives of the Kohler-Wielle family. And what do we espy them doing? Why eating left overs, like the overcrowded tip conscious planet savers they are. HURRAH!
Oi, rhyme... I APOLOGISE FOR THAT! >_<;;
So in case you need some re-introduction since last time we saw the septuplets they were pretty much fresh out of age transition: This be firstborn (though last to transition), Syrah, tucking into some left over salmon soon to be followed by some left over pai. MmmMMmm pai..! Behind in the hat with the MASSIVE amount of red hair be Poppy, hard at work at her hard maths. I EMPATHISE POPPY! MATHS IS HARD MANG!! And she's too young to have a boyfriend around to do it for her. ALAS!
You know what I adore about this generation? The fact that when they sleep they SLEEP WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED! ALL OF THEM! NONE OF THEM SLEEP WITH THE SCARY SLITTED EYES OF POSESSED DOOM! Aaaaah delightful! :D
Although, Syrah appears to be dreaming of something particularly distasteful O_O;; Look at that Elvis lip going on there. What is it honey? Clowns? Sleeping in tents? Huge quantitites of four hundred dollar boutique french cheese rotting in quarrantine and then sent to land fill due to Australian pastuerisation laws?
*still shudders at the thought of all that wasted delicious*
APPARENTLY, hedge trimming is mighty fun, fun, fun, fun, fun for Cube. Better than dreaming you're really tall, like bigger than King Kong. Which I guess wouldn't actually be that fun, cause then you're kind of obligated to destroy Tokyo, fight huge moths who only want to be loved, and climb the empire state building clutching Anne Darrow until you get shot for it. If Cubes getting shot for anyone it'd be for Valencia, dammit!
(Or yes, for you, simkittensims , honey xD)
I watched him manicure these babies with expert presicion for .. entire MINUTES (^_^;;) while his fun went up. OooOokaaaay Cube... Although I guess it must be mighty cathartic to slice at things with huag surgically sharpened shears and it it be completely legal.
The tent is for some unknown reason irresistable to the kids... Whenever I can't find any of them its because they're sleeping in the tent instead of their perfectly excellent beds. I have no idea why cause like, tents = TERROR! Aren't you kids terrified of psychopaths coming to stab you through the flimsy flimsy fabric in the night?! WELL AREN'T YOU?!?!!?!?!? O_o;;;
I'm scared for you right now and I don't even have a psychopath hack. Which is good. Cause SCARY! Also, omg I hope one of those don't exist. I'd hate to be playing and then one night in a legacy while the family is asleep some burglar sneaks in and offs the entire family in the night. A) Death would be bitching his face off that no one is left behind to make him a cup of tea or offer him a nice digestive, he'd have to go make one himself and that's hardly hospitable now is it? And B) WHAT IF YOU HAD NO SPARES LEFT OFF LOT!?
Okay, like a creepy stalkerie stalker, I've been watching these two a lot while they sleep. I swear they grind against each other, unconciously, while sleeping. SWEAR IT.
I never know whether or not to make the AWWWW sound or the AUGH sound. O_O;;
Its a homework party with all of Valencia's favourites! Aww your little cute studious selves. I'm not sure exactly what Ginger's facial expression is saying here.. Is she trying to get assistance from Modena or going neeener I'm way smarter than you? Poor Poppy, she still looks like she's having trouble. Maybe its the fact that she's still wearing a completely generationally incorrect night dress, and its hindering her mental capacity.
...Or perhaps she's been inhaling the kitten pheremones a little too much... That's not exactly a face I'd want to be seeing on a child... She's all zomg come hither eyelids... Which is pretty impressive for a girl her age.. Um where was I? OH YEAH! ALERT THE MEDIA! THAT AMERICAN SENATOR DUDE THAT'S ALWAYS OUTBIRKING!? SOMEONE TELL KEVIN RUDD! I'll have that damn internet filtering thing blocking ma legacy from the virgin eyes of my fellow Australian's in no time..! *gasp*
*wonders why its even more salacious when she's wearing a super innocent high-necked button up night dress*
NUUUU SINASAPPEL!! *cry* I have no luck with birds, I swear. Thy just cark themselves for no reason at random *weeps* IT WAS NOT YOUR TIME! Maybe the stress of Carrots trying to mentally convert him to popcorn budgie finally did him in?
Poor Valencia, she experiences dead bird rage for the second time in her life... Syrah behind her, HIDDENS, already wishes the cage was refilled, though weeps for its current emptiness... Cube stands, solitarily with a good british stiff upper lip against the emotions. HE MUST STAND FIRM! Modena is wondering what the heck is up with that and if he wants to cry he should just let it out maaaaaaan.
So he takes his daughter's sage advice and does the best thing he knows to make it better... Molests his wife in front of his kids. HURRAH!
Cube: *noms V's chest*
Valencia: Sinasappel? What's that?
Syrah: *approves of parental sexy fun times but shuts her eyes against future mental scarrage* Do do doooo nothing to see here, the insides of my eyelids are red like my generation OoooOOoOh coincidence?!
Ginger: *IS VERY INTERESTED IN HER HOMEWORK*
Wow, okay, pretty obvious who's Daddy's little girl. Witness Modena, autonomously making beds when they have a perfectly excellent HeroinChic™ Maid to do this... And gaining fun out of the act. Whatever floats your boat, I guess honeyface... Oh wait, hang on, honey is kind of golden... Um... Tomatoface? Strawberryjamface? Arterialface? E129face? OOooOoOOh dumbing hyperactivity :D :D :D oh wait the dumbing part shouldn't be cause for celebration.. Um, D: D: D: ??
Modena: YEAH SPINNING REALLY FAST TILL I THROW UP ON THE CARPET!!
Spinningbunnythinger: WHAT AM I!? O_O
Apricot is the most coddled hamster womrat known to man sims... At this point I'm pretty sure she spends more time being held in the air and snuggled than running about in her little treadmill or snuffling her food tray.
YOU'LL SPOIL HER YOU GUISE!! AND SHE WILL ALWAYS WANT TO BE PICKED UP ALL THE TIME, AND THEN YOU'LL GET JACK SHIT OF HER WHEN YOU'RE TEENAGERS AND SHE'LL END UP HAVING TO CLIMB INTO YOUR SHIRT SLEEVES TO GET ANY KIND OF ATTENTION AND YOU'LL FORGET SHE'S THERE WHILE YOU'RE DOING SOME PARTICULARLY COMPLEX ALGEBRAIC EQUATION INVOLVING INTEGRATION AND YOU'LL BE ALL ENRAGED AND SLAM YOUR HAND DOWN ON THE DESK. And then she'll be dead. ;_;
DUDES, GAMING?! SUPER SERIOUS BUSINESS..! Ten bucks Cinnabar's playing Winterbells.. xD Any takers?
Although, with a facial expression like that he COULD be playing Grow Tower. I mean how does anyone know how each of those items work together anyway?!
Awww now this is the face of someone who's totally enjoying their game play. From the face Sangiovese is pulling he's probably excited to even see a desktop. OOoH LOOK A DESKTOP SHORTCUT!? *delight*
Either that or he's a twisted little baby and either indulging in Strip Twister Home Rules Goat Edition™ online (what the HELL!, baykinz ?! I love you xD) OR, he's playing RagnarokOnline. Totes levelling up his assassin at the Hode map. Oh yeah Sangiovese, you collect that sticky mucus..! You amass those fat chubby worms..!
Seriously, Koreans?! xD
OMG So I was playing across the street again with Lyna and Craven et al, when this generated townie walked by and I happened to mouse over his name... HIS NAME..?
JANUS KOHLER!
OMG! You think he's related? You think there's Wielle's wandering about too?
Whoa Sunshine (the Servo), surely Angie programmed you better than to discuss THAT touchie subject with her? She lives with her nullified marriage due to death husband and his current wife and their daughter, Sunshine?! AS THEIR DAYTIME BABYSITTER WHILE THEY SLEEP! Like come on, did you remove your empathy chip to store muffins?
Okay at this point I'm thinking Angie's zombified brain just fails at programming.... GUISE? Never challenge a servo to a game of anything, okay? They're like Rainman only faster and can do your laundry.
Something tells me that Peaches is not an evening person...
ITS TIME FOR SOME EPIC CINNABAR SMUSTLING SPAM!! PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE BORKED OMSPs..! JUST WATCH THE BOY SMUSTLE LIKE A GENIUS!
LORDS I love me some smustle faces. Pity about the BLACK DOOM EYES I had with these enayla eyes... BUT STILL, HE MANAGES TO STILL BE EPIC!
Man he makes me want to dance! He exudes some serious footworking confidence! Also, whoa, who knew tigerskin was so plush? *searches for his feet in the furrrrs*
Aww Syrah! Always combing for seashells with a contented grin on her face. I forgot that she did this all through her childhood and when I checked her inventory when I sent all the kids off to Uni she had about 12 starfish, 14 conch shells and a whole mess of other beach paraphernalia in her backpack.. O_O;; xD
Since when did mounted starfish you found digging around in the sand in your backyard sell for $450 a pop? If that was the case I'd just give up working and go do that every day. And I don't even LIKE the beach.
I agree, Sangiovese. Homework sucks! You spend all day at school and then you come home and you have to do MORE work!? If you had to bring work home from the office as an adult everyone would be all OMG OUTBIIIIRK THEY'RE WORKING YOU TOO HARD, but nuuuUUuUuUu home work is TOTES acceptible for kids.
Although, it does mean he makes UBER ADORABLE SEAL FACE xD
Syrah: Look, CLEARLY I am the most awesome and the eldest, so that means I should get to be the heir. You'll just have to deal with that fact and accept you're going to be a spare later in life. So you better not act prejudiced around me, okay?
Modena: Is that a cochineal in my yoghurt!?
And now for something SORELY missing so far this update: Cube commanding the attention of his progeny :D Awww they're still at that age where everything their Daddy says is like benediction from God. BLESSED ARE THOSE THAT EAT AT THE TABLE OF CUBE. FOR THEY SHALL GAIN MIGHTINESS, AND STUFF..!
And stuff is awesome. :D
Awww lawds and he's just SO STOKED to be able to spend quality time with his kids now. Gawds I love his girly haired, manly velcro face <3333
Also can I just put down on record? AARRRGGGYYYLE... *melt*
Um, Modena? What exactly are you getting out of spying on shrubbery? Also, where IS this shrubbery located exactly? In the sky? the heavens? Magical shrubbery on Mount Olympus? Is SimZeus™ gonna rain down on you in some kind of epic shower of luminescent rain on you for being a holy hibiscus voyeur and thusly impregnate you while you're still a minor? Cause he'll do that shit. Don't be underestimating the shenanigan level of the might SimZeus™...
So even though Syrah ceased nomming on this robot when she grew into childhood, the little beastie still went on strike and started attempting to electrocute the kids.
ENTER OUR HERO..! :D
I was terrified that he was going to be taken out by its little revengenceful cybernetic brains the WHOLE TIME, and sat about wringing my hands while he worked. How embarrasing, being killed by a child's toy of YOUR OWN MAKING.. Kind of like tripping over a brick really. Well, guess it depends on the brick...
OMG DUDES WHO IS PICKING ON THE CHICKEN?! I swear I see this thing lying on the ground, kicked over, multiple times a day. I tell people to pick it back up and restore its uprightedness and what happens? The next time I scan past the front yard...
PROSTRATE..! Poor little farmer chicken.
Me: HOLY LAWDS CINNABAR...! WHATS THE MATTER!?
Cinnabar: I... SPAN... SPINNED.. SPUN... THINGER... TOO HARRRDDDD....
Me: Are you sure that's it? It might be a tumour D:
Cinnabar: IT'S NOT A TUMOUR! DDDDDDD:
Whoa dudes, let this be a lesson to you, no spinning really really hard, okay?
Cinnabar: But that nice redheaded lady in that silly movie about witches that Mum watches all the time says spinning really hard is like being in love..!
Me: Um, the chick in that movie has to kill her lover with poison after he tried to murder her arse and then is possessed by his spirit and nearly dies because of it. You're gonna listen to her!??!
Cinnabar: SHE HAD RED HAIR!
CHARRRRMING.
Cinnabar: Carrots? Did you know in Ancient Greece, they used to construct whole rooms dedicated to throwing up all their delicious foods in order to go gorge themselves on more delicious foods. So really they were revering the vomits, and therefore my puke IS charming. *glee*
Carrots: *is pretending Cinnabar's head is a ball of yarn*
Valencia: One day, Ginger, you too could live this dream..! Popping seven children out of your tiny vaginal canal at once is AWESOME! HAVE FUN WITH THAT! :D :D
Me: DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:
Modena schools Sangiovese in the art of neutron flow polarity reversion. Its the only REAL way to scramble eggs to get them that perfect fluffy consistency. How would she know this?
Why she's wearin red converse! And we all know wearing red converse = time to save the universe! And since she's just standing around chewing the fat with her brother, I'm guessing she just finish saving us all from a fate worse than 70's leg flared robot conversion and is now having a bit of a debrief and craving some delicious protein.
Poppy: And THEN! Jonathon Livingston Seagull is all OMG NOOBS squabbling over foods is for chumps, don't you want to know the true and perfect way to take flight? And then he is all FLAPPITY FLAP FLAP ACTION!! And the other seagulls are all omg wtf chump, there's perfectly awesome chicken flavoured hot chips being thrown to us here... But then they explode cause of the alka seltzers that little boys put in breads as a karmic reaction to them eating food that tastes of their ornithological brethren...! *flaps and makes bird noises*
Poppy: And then JLGulzz as we like to call him, he totes flys off to Chinatown and meets these other birds that are full enlightened and shit and they're like OMG CHECK OUT THE AERODYNAMICS!! And that isn't a come on like checking out the phospheresence either. AND AND AND!! And so he gets to learn how to fly even BETTERS! So he's all OMG DUDES IMMA TEACH OTHER BIRDS TO NOT EAT SOILENT GREENS SO THEY CAN ALSO COME TO CHINA TOWN, and then he flys off to spread the word of Peking Duck to his peoples... :D :D :D
Modena: Um.. I think you missed the actual, existential point of that book entirely, honey... Maybe you should watch the movie instead...*unimpressed*
Modena then decides that's IT! And seeks refuge from her VERY pretty but obviously mentally deficient sister. Come on, hon? It can't be THAT bad at least she's... Um... Enthusiastic about it?
The rest of the kids engage in more outdoorsie pursuits... HI KERMES! Haven't seen you much this update ^_^;; Its not cause you're really boring or anything, honest.
These two ARE my OTP. This is love, REAL delicious love. *hugs them*
Every moment to themselves is spent clinging to each other... Kids are off occupied reading spiritual classics from the 70s? Time to slow dance in the kitchen while the delicious aroma of -- ironically -- roast turkey fills their nostrillic senses...
... While the Nanny provides mood music on the rather abused and untuned piano..
And thusly.. COMMENCE MAKEOUT...!!!
THIS IS UNPOSSIBLE! The Nanny, HELPING IN A POSITIVE MANNER!? MEIN GOT IM HIMMEL! Yes yes, I'm always shocked at this but come on, I don't even have a hack for this, she's doing this ON HER OWN!
I... I... Don't know what to make of this... Can I get a body language specialist in here?
No really. I'm not kidding around here. Who are you?! And! What have you done with the nanny? I'm beginning to think those default replacement purple cardigans have also default replaced her brains... O_O
Poppy: YOU GUYS! I followed Modena in here, and omg you're all so right, the tent is AWESOME!!! :D :D We spent all night in it talking about JLGulzz and whether or not he was secretly in love with Fletcher Lynd Seagull. I BET HE TOTES WAS!
Modena: *sulking somewhere else in the garden attempting to refocus her chi*
Sangiovese: OMG look, Poppy, I'm just like Fletcher! I'm like your padawan!
Poppy: Ewwww San, that's gross and incestual and shit. *shun*
OH GODS LOOK OUT, APRICOT?!?! YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO SINASAPPEL!!? DO YOU?!?!
*wonders what kind of dish Carrots is trying to convert Apricot into with his brains*
Probably still popcorn chicken... xD
OMG THIS SCREENSHOT MAKES ME WANT TO EAT DONUTS! BAAAH! moonlapse can we go to the bakery? OMG NO can we go to Donut King get the triple chocolate pack please?
GODS Nothing like chocolate donuts with chocolate icing and chocolate shavings on top. OMMMMM NOOMMM NOOMMMMMMM!! *starving*
Um, Cube? I SHOULD SAY SO!
EEHEHEHEEEEE!! I love the ooOooOh rain emote..! Makes me want to go stare at real people's faces when they discover its raining to see if they do it too. And then stick a pea in their tiny pursed-lipped mouths!! :D :D :D
Okay so I don't know what to make of this either... WHUT, VALENCIA?!?!
Also, OMG CUBE BUTT YOU GUISE! :D :D
See? I am ridiculously in love with this animation..! :D Kermes, you might be SO boring I can't stand it, but lawds you make some serenely adorable faces.
So, just in case you forgot since this update has been pretty darn child-centric even though its STILL Orange generations time: VALENCIA IS FREAKEN ADORABLY CUTE ARMAGADXXORRRRS..! :D <33333333 Don't you love her hard?
Cube: OI! Step off ma woman, wenches! MINE. K?
Me: *girlish squeal of manly displays of testosterone*
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