Cullen The Herd 3.1
CAUTION: 60 pikkaturerszes = 3 megsorz. Death, rather mood-killing mourning, sexytimes (wait, ARE there sexy times? I forget O_O), language, random, toddlers, a predelicton for plantsimiansm - one might even call it PLANT-A-GEDDON, children getting high off of the outrageous flavour of their parent/guardian...! Does that constitute drug use? xD
OH AND BE EXTRA WARNED! This update is largely written whilst sitting about in Melbourne Airport still under the influence of those loopy-inducing drugs that turn me into a vampire. ARMAGAD I FEAR THE DAYLIGHT! *bes honorary Cullen*
Also, we're being weirded out by the fact that the lighting in the airport is pink. From a morale etc point of view we get why the lights are pink, but from a WTF IS GOING ON WITH OUR SCREENS?!? point of view? We're wtf-ing. xD
As you may recall, the last we met with the herd, Bathory, our faithful and beauteous founder, was unexpectedly done in by the nefarious light allowing glass of a kitchen window. WTH is that about?
Anyway, we pick up right where we left off. In the house of GRIEF. ;_;
Toddlers weeping bitter tears fueled by the power of their tiny yet acute toddler esp (they were within the sound-proof miracle-forcefield-floor-dividers at the time) is freaken heartbreaking, y/y?
OFF-TOPIC, SORRY TO BREAK THE DEPRESSING REVERIE AND ALL, but man Bishop is a full on a clone of his father, just, you know, tan with black hair and shit. xD
The Drop (brilliantcat) genes, they are strong with this one.
PS: Also, you notice how Knight keeps kind of... Spooning his brother from behind? He did that almost ALL the time while they were growing up. It was really cute and awww-worthy until I realised it was kind of weird and suspicious.
Especially in bear costumes.
But Carmilla soldier's on, never giving up. Nothing is going to keep her indomitable spirit down. Even though her grandmother ran around in the middle of the day and inevitably deserted her for a shore-side retirement home in Hades. She shall not cry, she will say goodbye. And through it all she vows a tiny toddler vow that when it comes to her family she will never go hungry again tell a lie nor hurt them.
*sighs* STOP WEEPING FOR YOUR MOTHER, MIRIAM! GAH! If you'd stopped crying when I told you she'd still be alive now >_>;;;;
Oh wow, that's not really helping, Nett. *changes tack*
ITS NOT YOUR FAULT YOUR MOTHER WAS COMPLETELY OFF HER TREE AND KEPT GETTING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY, EVEN THOUGH I HAD A HACK INSTALLED TO MAKE HER SLEEP THROUGH TILL DARK. That's like me deciding it'd be awesome to go swimming in vats of chicken soup every morning.
Deathwish, she could totes has it.
Since everyone was so distraught -- and let's be honest here: including MEEEEE -- I, and by I, I mean they, sprung for pretty new throne-like horse-drawn potties. Which also meant they got new trees cause these aren't the same price as a Maxis potty, BUT WHATEV! Also I got each child one each. They are grieving, FAR BE IT FROM ME TO CRUSH OR WILT THEIR PETALS!!
Carmilla: Hug me, Great Aunt Miriam. I'm sad.
Miriam: *hugs*
Floor of Bathroom: *inexplicably floods from grief, crappy plumbing, the melting of the polar icecaps causing the underground water table to swell, OR Bathory's ghost holding a grudge against sunlight*
Uh, Bathory? I don't think that works babe. You were like, old enough to know better, you kinda did it to yourself IN SPITE of the over-rides I had installed. Although, considering I never really saw her ghost, this could be global warming. RIGHT, EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE? TIME TO TAKE UP PIRACY! MOAR PIRATES, MEANS A DROP IN GLOBAL WARMING, MEANS THE BATHROOM FLOOR DRIES UP, AND NO ONE NEEDS TO PICK UP A MOP!
WIN WIN!
Two days after Bathory's death, Miriam finally swept her mother up off of the floor. And thought about SQUIGGLY LINES OF IMPENDING DOOM. Oh. Shit. That ain't good. I thought I had the MATY hack that stopped that from happening installed too... AUUUUGH! *flailflail*
At this point I stopped playing the Cullens for AGES because I was terrified of hood implosion. And then dragancaor ordered me to SUMMON THE BATBOX! So I did, and a posebox + some other housekeeping objects for good measure. And lo! It was good.
My reward? Carmilla eating dog food in a particularly terrifying manner against a backdrop of dead trees. Glassy eyes staring straight ahead, unfocused on the job at hand, mitts held into shovels to force the dry food back into her gullet at optimal speed.
We've seen the enemy. They are true in their one purpose. And they look... Actually nothing like themselves, where the heck did Carmilla's lips go? I was sure she actually had a pair... O_O;;
The triplet's dad, Persimmon Drop, shows up to shower his beloved with gift. Cause I know I always keep a spa in my back pocket for situations when I should shower my love with... Gift. Persimmon? Its a touching thought especially in light of her mother's death and all but, uh... Love She don't live here anymore.
BIRTHDAY TIME!!!!!! :D :D Carmilla first, and she appears to be nicely growing into that nose bridge/brow bone/t-zone/monobrow-area quite nicely. Also, she's DELIGHTED!
GAH! Knight you're such a super cutie! :D *loves so hard*
BISHOP!!! EPIC FACES ARE FREAKEN EPIC! GAH! Stupid self and my stupid self-inflicted matriach challenge >_>;;
Also you notice how all three kids managed to transition into pajamas that reflected their surroundings? I APPROVE OF THIS.
Since crops had been flourishing well and not a huge amount of money had been spent in QUITE some time, I thought it was time for a bit of a house remodel. Beds for the kids, plantsims are hacks so no beds for Miriam BUT I added a bunch of desks for homework and plants to keep Miriam feeling more at home within a house.
Also, the floor dividers. They're forgiven gone. But not forgotten.
Also! I realised I hadn't painted an heir portrait for Miyu. OOOOOPS!!! And so I give you Miriam painting a totes ~*~*YOONEEEEK*~*~ heir portrait for generation two, after the fact. ISN'T IT BEAUTIFULS!??!
Time for an adorable heir makeover, that hairsprayed coiffure really wasn't doing it for me on Carmilla. I hate to say it and sound like every person ever when I was growing up, but she looks SO much better now that we can see her face! :D
THREE CHEERS FOR THE ARMAGADSSNOOOOW EMOTE! I'm gonna miss your super expressive face around here when you leave, Bishop. *huggles*
So! Snow! Which I've never ever really seen in real life except that one time at Jasper at Edmonton's top Ice-Hockey player's house on top of one of the highest mountain peaks in Jasper National Park. That joke makes more sense if you know who the hell he is (and what the hell his name is xD). And it was like, this patch of ice which we made into snowballs and attempted to shove down each other's cleavage.
ANYHOOOOO...! Time for me to live vicariously through generation three! BUILD A SNOW MAN, MY PRETTY!! BUILD BUILD..! Although, possibly, you could do it in more temperature aware attire, hon.
Oh wow, um.. I guess Carmilla didn't really inherit any niceness.... ^_^;; Everyone came out to watch her add the finishing touches to this man of snow, and as she grinned in approval and slammed in those pedo-bear smirking features. And with them went my hopes for a family sim heir. Anyone ELSE call romance? I mean COME ON, if that ain't a fat incubi (remember you guys, you can tell an incubus by his FROZEN PENIS) then I'll eat my hat. Except I'm not wearing a hat. Will GIANT CRAZED PLASTIC SQUID CLAW OCTOPUS TENTACLE THINGER HAIR CLIPS THE SIZE OF MY FACE IN DUPLICATE SUFFICE?!
Carmilla: OM NOM NOMMMMMMMMMM! GREAT AUNT MIRIAM! Your flavour, tis OUTRAGEOUS! STAGGERING, INCREDIBLE, perhaps... *gasps* TABOO EVEN! A flavour so good, so irresistable, so ostentatious I dare not speak its name. *inhales scent of indescernable flowers*
Wth are they anyway? Roses? Camelias? Both? That pink one at the top looks suspiciously like a daisy. *eyenarrow* PICK A SCENT, MIRIAM! Let's not have any of this fusion business. BUZZ WORDS TO A MINIMUM KTHX! Next your scent will take on synergystic aspects of a regimental poultry paradigm or sommat.
GOOD VS EVIL, A SNOWFELLOW FIGHT TO THE DEATH..!
Bishop: When snowgeezer's die, do they become ghosts and haunt us by jumping out of closets and wearing bleached sheets instead of hats?
Knight: You'd think they'd know better, surely hats are a much more sensible mode of dress than a sheet? Great Aunt Miriam said normal blokes turn into ghosts though, and we're mostly made up of water and so are the snowdudes... Wait, does that mean like, clouds and the sea and rain will haunt us too?!?! WHAT ABOUT ALL THE SNOW WE CRUSHED UNDER FOOT!? THE SNOW WE'RE STANDING ON, RIGHT. NOW?! O_O
Bishop: It is okay, brother! We shall stick with each other through thick and thin, and always be together to protect each other against the carrot-nosed menace.
Knight: Always?
Bishop: Always. *hugs*
AND THEY ALWAYS WILL BE. MUHAHHAAA! *ominous*
Miriam: I WANT TO PREPARE A SIMPLE SALAD FOR MY FAMILY! THERE'S NO FREE COUNTERSPACE FOR ME TO ACHIEVE THIS TASK!!!
Oh yeah, Miriam. I can totes see where you're coming from. >_>;; Not even an inch of clearspace. None. Nada. Nothing. The counter clutter. IT OVERWHELMS ME!
Carmilla: Were you just being disparaging there? *epic face*
Me: And I will again if it makes you do THAT with your face. HOW COOL! *tries*
Bishop: HELL YES, ITS A SNOW DAY YOU GUYS!! A SNOW DAY!! A DAY OF SNOW, A SNOW FILLED DAY, A DAY TO CELEBRATE WEATHER IN ITS EXTREMES - SNOW STYLE!! *uncontrollable excitement*
Yeah, you say that now that your family can afford four walls, a roof, a floor and PLUSH FURNISHINGS. You'd've been singing a different tune if you knew the circumstances your mother had to endure at your age. /crotchety old man
And now we travel back in time one HUNDRED years, as we witness baykinz out for a peaceful stroll in the country. But hark! A Vagrant! What is this? Tis a most troublesome and worryous of precipitous precipitations. Snow, what poppycock is this? What foul cretinous weather to accost us whilst we are embarking upon such an invigorating and health-concious endevour. Bloody inconvenient, what?
I'd finally managed to get Miriam to cook a delicious fresh meal and call all the children to eat. She promptly sat down with them to chat while they were eating and to ask them about their day... And Knight wandered in all cheerily, picked up Miriam's plate from in front of her at the table...
...And placed it on the counter over there before settling down to eat his share. WHAT THE HELL, FOOD THIEF? Just cause she's a plant doesn't mean she mightn't like to sit down and enjoy the nutrient rich meal SHE prepared >_>;;
PS: OMG the last two screens CONFUSED THE CRAP out of me, it was like playing Where's Wally. I was like BUT THEY ARE THE SAME, WHAT IS GOING ON!? WHY WOULD I SAVE TWO IDENTICAL IMAGES AND CALL THEM DIFFERENT THINGS. Do you fear my ability to comprehend? I feel that you do.
Um, so Carmilla? You really should actually be putting thos left overs in the fridge, that's an awfully large proportion of prawn you're throwing out there... BUT YAY FOR AUTONOMOUS DISH CLEANING!!! The legacy of disposing of flatware, I feel, has reached an end forever! *beams*
ATTENTION! The rest of this update is written the next day, either safe in ma bed or tuckinginto fuits in the kitchen. :D HOOOORAY! I still can't vouch for its non-loopiness, however. But I've finished that course of loopyfying meds so maybe the rest of this will make some semblance of sense. PERHAPS! xD
So, not that there was much money floating around the house, but I'd decided to fulfill a few of Miriam's wants since she's my new favourite sim ever because her aspiration was quite low. xD She wanted a counter costing at least $32049832948 and a chair costing around the same. And thusly, voila!
Bishop: So. That's a chair, yeah?
Knight: Yup. That's a chair alright.
Carmilla started acting out around this point and refused to be touched by anyone. Even her loving Great-Aunt/Not-Mother. YOU BETTER GROW OUT OF THIS WHEN YOU'RE A TEEN, YOUNG LADY! The whole legacy and the future of the Cullens and their constant decending from themselves rests WITH YOU!
No pressure or anything. ^_^;;
I kept trying to get Miriam a job but the newspaper was constantly missing. After four days of being utterly perplexed I discovered the culprit:
Bishop. So damn neat he cleans the freshly delivered newspaper off of the footpath less than five minutes after it's been delivered.
Which isn't exactly the greatest of strategies...
See now THIS kind of thing is why Miriam is my favourite. Every night she autonomously tucked in her grand-niece and nephews, and thought about each of them as she did so. Who's an achingly awesome parent, then? *wiggles with glee*
Sup Lux Alexander (baykinz )? Enjoying another diabolical invisible newspaper heist I see. How's that working out for ya? Good?
Lux: *HAS NO EMOTION*
PS: Miriam might be COMPLETELY UNABLE to get a job due to her frighteningly anal retentive grand-nephew, but she's fostered QUITE the market garden in the backyard now, no? Must be all that vajayjay she's flashing them in that super plantsim mini ensemble she's got going on. THIS ISN'T THE 70s YOU KNOW, MIRIAM. >_>;;
Whatever puts food on the table I guess?
So, just a reminder: TANS ARE BAD FOR YOU, AND THE ONLY TAN YOU SHOULD EVER INDULGE IN IS A BOTTLED ONE. Even fluorescent tans are bad, SOME sunlight is essential, k you guise? Okay?
But as this is the sims and not real lifes: BISHOP! Get a tan for me bb?
The only tan I ever got before this was on Deacon, and I didn't even know he HAD one at the time. SO I GOTTA SEE ONE PROPER NOW. DO IT FOR YOUR COUNTRY!
RESULT!
Bishop: *bes a peace loving baby surfer*
Fish on Bishop's Swimsuit: *bes completely drunk*
Duckling innertube: *bes innapropriately the sexiest of all the innertubes*
So he may have been fabulous at fullfilling MY wants, but as a self-want-fulfiling sandcastle engineer? Bishop? You fail.
Hon? Attempting to create a structure NOT on what's tantamount to a flood plain while the flood is ebbing in is possibly the more pro of the available strats here...
ARMAGAD! The ultimate in horror movie villians has been cast right here! O_O;;;
THIS Summer, Jack Frost knows what you did last winter.. His eyebrows may have melted down onto his crotchal-region due to his maker's neglect, but they're STILL angry. So he's coming. FOR YOU!
So I was getting pretty bored with the Cullens again, Miriam's awesome aside, not a lot of interesting was happening. So I figured, wth, I'll try one of Dragancaor's extra challenges she threw into my challenge rules and stick a cow plant by the footpath for shits and giggles. World? Meet Bessie.
And apparently because I therefore jinxed myself and thusly "asked for it," Bessie? Meet Ava, the actually REALLY excellent and ex-gelid pretty nanny >_<;;;
I guess Bathory has some company now?
World? Meet the rather handsome replacement Nanny. I forget her name. Let's call her Greer Garson. Because it pleases me. And also cause after this shot I don't believe you'll EVER. SEE. HER. AGAIN.
Miriam wanted to go to a community lot, and never let it be said that I enjoy denying my sims their needs and desires. So she went downtown. And since I'd newly installed the hack that means the pollen cloud prank converts sims into plantsims... Uh... WELCOME TO PLANTAGEDDON..!!
PS: I SEE YOU THARRRR, WALKING OFF LOT INTO TRANSLUSCENCY, ALGREN DORK (katu_sims)!
Miriam: YOU'LL BE A PLANT SIM, RANDOM PERSON OFF THE STREET WHO I DON'T KNOW FROM ADAM, AND YOU'LL LOVE IT. BITCH.
Lux: Oh look at the time, I have to go... Away.
Miriam: THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'LL LOVE IT TOO, PSUEDO-NOT-FATHER (the as-yet-not-vampified- Bilbo Dork ( katu_sims) who I hadn't spotted downtown in an AGE). YOU AND YOUR PLANT BRETHREN WILL ENJOY IT AD INFINITUM!
Lux: Oh, hello there again. It appears this isn't Away. Where was Away again?
Random Townie + Charles Simkittensims (simkittensims's self sim in ManForm): We'll go where she's going.
But Miriam attempted to follow them all to another lot, where she came upon a clandestine meeting of vampires (lauriethemuppet's selfsim in ManForm, Hector, choose's selfsim, and lauriethemuppet's Edward Cullen). Who all got high off of her outrageous flavour, as is the vampire want.
Afterwards, she backed away slowly and returned home. Walking backwards the whole way in order to keep an eye on where she'd come from, and also to strengthen her thigh and glutial muscles. You know, as a perk.
And when she returned home she engaged in some self-indulgent lamentation about her not-long dead mother. WE ARE RIGHT WITH YOU MIRIAM! WHY, BATHORY?! WRRRRRRRY?!?!?
And then it was dark and the Ancient King of Sparta came to lick Miriam's cheeks whilst in wolf-form. HOLY SHIT do I ever need HIM in my dog legacy! COME ON! He's the father of Hermione, gotta get that kind of epic shag hair on ma canines, and stat!
Yeah okay so not the same Hermione, BUT IT COULD BE, MENELAUS AND HELEN WERE MUGGLES, YOU DON'T KNOW, THEY COULD'VE TIME TRAVELLED AND SHIT! Orestes, Ron Weasley. Same.
LOOK YOU GUYS! I'd forgotten all about the wonder that is child labour. And there's three of them all at the same time to sing a happy working song whilst flinging poo around the yard. What kid DOESN'T dream of that kind of thing?!
The market garden's produce completely sold, I give you a sneak peak of the new bathroom! :D One of two. This one is all blue and plant-filled (complete with sunlamp) with Miriam in mind, the other is pink and purple and sugar and spice, without a hint of snail nor puppy dog tail to be seen. And I'm serious about that last bit, there's only a shower in there so the dogs could care less about that bathroom. xD
Birthday times! Still-tanned Bishop as a rather awesome-faced teen. Still in thematical pyjamas. NICE, Bishop! :D
Sexy Sexy Knight is Sexy, even if his eyeballs fell out and were replaced by these other grey ones for the duration of his teenagerydom. His PJs decided to go monochromatic in support of this alien eye-loss.
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE BOUNCING ELDEST TWIN-SISTER WHO IS STILL A CHILD IN THE BACKGROUND. YOU SEE NOTHING. NOOOOOOTHING!!
And finally, thematically pyjama-ed once again, Carmilla :D Miriam is pleased, Bishop is kind of... Overly apprecitative of his sister's form, hunterlike cave-man style. O_o;;
I might... Nip that in the bud asap methinks...
Speaking of buds, CHECK IT OUT!! My first EVER mouthwatering-fruit-filled tree! Of course they're apples. Of COURSE.
Carmilla's teen make-over in the afore-mentioned pink bathroom of pinkness. I just LOVE how much of a mix of hispanic and asian her features look. Excellent lip to chin ratio you have there, ma petite! Unlike your dull alien-descendant mother. I look forward to seeing your progeny and all that they shall achieve, facial-structurally speaking. :D
And because here seemed like as good a place as any (and we're at 60 pix xD) I leave you with the list of Miriam's call-ables. PLANTAGGEDDON = ACHING SUCCESS!
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I'm sorry for EVERYTHING the Rick-Roll you guys!!!!! Except not really. ;) xD