Pigsy's Journey to Beauty: Episode Two
CAUTION: 62 pics for a 2.9MB download. A PIG CONTINUING TO HAVE SEX! Nudity Mild profanity that you'll hardly even notice, minor animal neglect and blatant violations of... Something IDEK I fell asleep before I finished the sentence originally.
Pigsy's Journey To The West Beauty: De-Uglification/ISBI/Matchmaker for One Challenge: Episode Two
So this i smy really pretty (IMO) nursery that I decorated in preperation for the coming of ONE child. So its pretty. BUT, in the face of unexpected infants in triplicate, ENTIRELY USELESS NOW >_<;;;;
Well, useless for this many kids anyway. So, they pretty much spent their entire infant lives in different configurations of... Well, this. ^_^;;;
Whitney: What do we do with them, anyway?
Well, not just sit there staring down at them for hours until your husband gets home, THATS for sure woman. >_<;;;
Finally Zhu got home, and called a Nanny to come help 'just for now' and after she helped with one child, Whitney seemed to get the hang of things and started picking up her kids and feeding them on her own volition. HURRAH!!
Uh, so Nanny DefinitelyNotMcPheeNorPoppins?
THIS IS NOT WHAT WE PAY YOU FOR..!
NEITHER IS THIS! O_O
Uh, Whitney? That's nice and we'd all be forgiven I'm SURE if this was a reaction to you looking after your children in the form of changing their smelly nappies or something along those lines as you appear to be suffering from some kind of post natal distancing. But no, you appear to be not in the mood for playing a piano that you went down into the basement yourself to play. CHILDHOOD TRAUMA. WHAT IS YOURS?!
Um, so Nanny? You're not being paid for THIS either.
*is glad to know though that Whitney's enthusiasm for everything hasn't been leeched with childbirth*
*sighs* And so you're less of a creepy perv now, but I'd like to go on record, of the apparent broken variety, that you're not being paid for THIS either. Also, are you dreaming of snogging Zhu (or maybe Whitney... OR BOTH!?) while you fall asleep on the floor while they have sex in that bed..?
I also note with some interest that Phoenix is STILL choosing sleep on the floor while the Bajie founders have sex. WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?!
Holy crap, Nanny. You DO know that you can in fact go home, right? You don't have to still be here. Cause all you're doing at this point is ignoring the infants' needs and racking up my passouts score... >_>;;
Right. Well, apparently she DOESN'T know that she can leave at any time...
CLEARLY the lot is bugged or something, IDEK. And considering the EXTREME LACK of space to cater for three growing children, I give you what at the time was most probably the 'ONE LAST HURRAH' in this house, before I planned to move them out.
But first, SOME UNHYGENIC BIRTHDAY TIMES!! :D :D
Right, well, either Morgan Kristina suffers from some kind of early-onset Peter Pan complex... Or she point blank refuses to age up under these unhealthy circumstances.
Zhu: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FREAKEN HOUSE!?!? WHY WONT MY CHILD GROW UP!??! THE NANNY IS PASSED OUT IN THE YARD! THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!! YOU HEAR ME?!?! THE. LAST. STRAW..! *raeeeeeeeg*
Whitney: Check me out! I'm dancin!
Morgan: YOU AINT NO HOLLA BACK GIRL, MOMMA!
Whitney: My super sexy dancing face. Let me show you it.
And since I'm always willing to give Maxis a chance. I decided to move them into one 'Helluva Hacienda' - albeit with some makeovers. ;) dragancaor told me she really loved this house after I'd finished renovating the kitchen area, and warned me to TAKE OUT THE ARCHES from the dining areas. Why? CAUSE THEY DON'T PROTECT YOU FROM THE ELEMENTS! Right, check, roger! Nobody's freezing in the dining room on MY watch thanks very much..!
Hokies!! Birthday times attempt. TAKE TWO!
Y HALO THAR MORGAN KRISTINA! You look pretty normal! O_O Does this mean the whole de-uglification section of this challenge (which is what I'm using to detirmine how long this challenge lasts) is gonna be over in like, four generations or something?!
Considering the point of this is to breed OUT the ugly, I guess depending on how her brothers turn out, she's our heir?
(At this point I hadn't discovered the Matchmaker For One challenge, cause like, it hadn't been invented by laridian yet xD - HANDY THAT I ALREADY FIT ALL THE REQUIREMENTS THOUGH, NE?! xD)
Morgan: Daddy? Where is my pig nose? *pouts* I WANT TO BE LIKE YOOOU! (And Chrstina Ricci, but mostly you, except where I'd love to be Chrstina Ricci).
WOO!!! GANDALF ROSENDO'S TURN!!
Gandalf!? WILL YOU HAS A PIGGY SNOUT!?!?!?!?
*waits with baited breath*
HELL YEAH PIGNOSED TODDLER!!!! REPRESENT!!
GODDAMN! Judge me ALL you like, but HOLY CRAP, pignosed toddlers = FREAKEN ADORABLE!!!!!
Phoenix: WTF I CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE THIS SHIT. MY BONES. THEY'RE OLD. BE NICE, I AM NOT A TREE, HIPPY DREADLOCKED CHILD. *hates*
And he was so enraged he took it out on a cushion. Which somehow managed to turn into broken crockery, weetbix board aka mdf, a handle, and some planks. Has anyone ever had something ruined by a pet that MADE SENSE before?
Finally its time for Xenocrates Antono to experience toddler time. While his father's mind was on OTHER things which he completely fabricated *innocent* PHOENIX MANAGES TO DIE OF OLD AGE! Poor Xenocrates, the forgotten youngest child.
HELL YES MORE SWINE NOSTRILS!!! :D :D
ZHU! GODDAMN! Way to perpetuate Xenocrates' neglect. HIS BIRTHDAY IS IMPORTANT TOO YOU KNOW! *flail*
NUUU PHOENIX YOU WERE WITH US FOR SUCH A SHORT TIIIIIME! ;_;
Gandalf: *feels a weird rustling on the back of his neck*
Phoenix: MY TAIL IS HUGE, YOU ARE NOW SCARED OF ME. RUN AWAY!
Morgan: *is getting the hell out of here*
Morgan? I don't think that was meant for you... Well, okay, maybe it was a little bit.
*sheds a tear at the loss of such a cutie cutie kitten* She left us with a sparkle you guys. A SPARKLE!! *weeps with joy and loss*
Side Note: Since this happened, I got me the hack that stops only elder pets spawning in pet stores. WHY this would even happen in the first place I do not even know.
...MAXIS!! >_>;;;
Gandalf: YAY DEATH!!
Pig-Nosed toddler playing a pink musical instrument spam. INITIATE!!!
EEEE!!!!
GODDAMN ITS SO CUTE!! Go on, admit it. YOUR HEART HAS MELTED, Y/Y?!?!
Zhu? That's not a cushion anymore....
RIP PHOENIX. We loved you well, so you may reside forever with the lollies and the naughties. I just hope nobody mistakes her for sugar and puts her in their tea O_O;;;
*wastes no time in adopting a new kitten*
World?! Meet Wylma.
Wylma: WTF IS THAT THING ON YOUR FACE?!?! *paws*
I think she's gonna fit in JUST FINE.
Xenocrates: YEAH DELICIOUS KITTEN BISCUITS! They flow through my hands like sand through and hourglass. Look at it flow through my fingers, Morgan!!
Morgan: WTF STOP HOGGING THE FREAKEN BISCUITS!
REJOICE!! They're clearly starting to settle in to business as usual. The first faceplant pass out of the house!
AND THE SECOND!!
Zhu: I was thinking about taking this "Introduction to Globe Making" course, I hear its incredibly comprehensive...
Me: I don't think she can hear you, dudie...
Gandalf, learning the fine art of multiple phasing. Teeth through jaw, hand through cot. IMPRESSIVE.
Awwww, Morgan is SUCH a placid toddler. She's almost never angry, never bitches about being trapped in the cot and always just sits about playing with her feet and giggling to herself. Crazy, yes! Adorable, ALSO YES! :D
HELL. YES!!!! Primpfix.package?! I LOVE YOU!!! Whitney, you autonomous primper you you deserve it baby, constantly checking out your hotness. I love it!
I have no idea why, but this just makes me think of an incredibly weird musical. You can see the three of them singing about completely unrelated things in harmony all at the same time. Gigolo maid clearly loves his job and the SMELL of cleaning. Whitney's singing about how mighty fine she is, and Zhu's bitching that no one else will feed his children and his wife is clearly standing in the way of the refridgerator.
ITS A BLOCKBUSTING BROADWAY MUSICAL YOU GUYS!
You may notice that Gigolo!Maid believes that everything is clean in the house and he's going home. His definition of clean is perhaps, questionable, I'm sure you would concur? Yes, yes? >_>;;
Poor Wylma, she looks so hard done by being the object of SO much affection, whilst being surrouned by SO MUCH NOSE.
The curse of the ISBI. WITNESS IT IN ACTION.
Uh... Whitney? Are you self medicating darling?
OH SHIT! NO! She's got the flu. Where did you pick this up from?! O_O;;
HOTELCALIFORNIA NANNY IS BACK!! And this time she's come packing anti-plague devices. GO GO HOTELCALIFORNIA NANNY!
I missed the first one, I don't know why, but YAY for points and MOOONIES!! :D :D GO GO WHITNEY!! :D
Gandalf: *Biscuitplosion*
You know? HotelCalifornia Nanny really is quite pretty. Bet she pulled a whole lot as a younger broad.
POOR WORK PERFORMANCE!?!?! SHE SAVED THAT WEDDING WTF!! All I can say is. Uh.. Well. Crap.
Aww its okay honey, we still love you. *cuddlecuddle*
Morgan toddled out the front of the house to welcome her mother home - I LOVE it when toddlers do that! - but she fell asleep before she could get her welcome hug. And thusly became a MAGNET for every single busy body and do-gooder in the 'hood.
RandomlyApparentlyConcernedTownie: Wont someone think of the children?!
Me: WELL IT WOULD HELP IF YOU DIDN'T STAND IN HER! O_O;;;;;
No, seirously, OUCH!!! GAH!
WHY do they keep standing inside of her?!?!
HOLY JEEBUS THAT HAD TO HAVE KILLED HER TINY PRONE FORM O_o;;;
The passouts, they are beginning to overwhelm us. Does the rubbish bin also count as a pass out? Its kind of mimicking the same position as both Whitney and her eldest..?
WOOO BIRTHDAYS!!!!
How will her features translate to childhood, will the nose appear now!?
She's so happy!! And apart from a JAW and really widely spaced eyes, she's rather... Normal looking. WHAT THE HECK ZHU?!?! Is pig nose only prominent in the male line, the females are just carriers or something?
*can't even believe that Morgan also missed out on the elf ears*
HELLO EQUALLY ADORABLE IN CHILDHOOD AS TODDLERDOM PIG-NOSED GANDALF!! EEEEE!! I'm sorry I'm kind of smitten. xD *kind of wishes Gandalf was heir* LOOKIT THE ELFIE EARSES! *obsession*
AAAAAAAAAND..! Insta pass out. See? He's a shoe in for heirdom. *sigh* Oh well...
Oh yeah, the forgotten youngest.. ^_^;;; XenocratesSPLODE! Check out his chipmunk cheeks.. YEAH YEAH! Oh and check out the background there, Phoenix, haunting her urn amidst Xenocrate's birthday transition. STEALING HIS THUNDERS!
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Current Challenge Stats:
Torch-Holders: 1
Perma-Platinum Sims: 0
Shrink Visits: 0
Social Bunny Visits: 0
Social Worker Visits: 0
Pass Outs: 15 <-- NANNY INFLATED GAWDS..!
Self-Wetting: 1 (6)
Repo-Man Visits: 0
Fires: 0
Fights: 0
Deaths: 1
Abductions: 0
Overheating/Freezing: 0