ILU2DEATH..! 1.7 // Rainbow Legacy 1.7

[bondchick_nett]

CAUTION: 59 piccits = 3.3MB download.
Strong language, Adult themes and Sex Scenes /Robbie McGregor

Need to catch up? Kohler-Wielle Archive

The Terror of Crumplebottom: Redux..!


What happened last update? HOLY HELL WHO KNOWS?! There was a wedding, there was Baby Godivas, there were a CONSTANT STRING OF PERVERTED OLD MEN, and then there was CRUMPLEBOTTOM™.

Lisa died thanks to the lack of available handymen and Lucy's predeliction for swimming pools. THUSLY paving the way for a future zombie bride..! SUCCESS!



So we open with Ochre putting the naked moves on TeenGoldie™ who is completely confused as to why Crumplebottom turned up to smack Sienna around who's never even been kissed, but completely ignores BUCK NAKED OCHRE.

The way of the Crumplebottom, it is deep, and mysterious.



Rhone forms an unhealthy attraction to this brown-haired dolly, always sleeping/looking in its general direction.

Rhone: Are you my mummy?

*heartbreak*



Things I have learned from the Sims, #538: When you jump up and down repeatedly in a puddle, it will cause the water to multiply on a molecular level thusly causing said puddle to grow above and beyond its original size.

Its not magic. Its SCIENCE™

Things I have learned from the Sims, #539: Ghosts carry thistle seeds.



Taking up Valencia's vacated mantle, Portokal began picking random female walk-bys up off the footpath and testing out their ball skills for potential future mummy-dom.

HAI SUNDAY KILLIAN! I'd decided that I'd approve Portokal's choice (with a name like that!? How could I not!?), but Craven was too tired from a Downtowning so I thought I'd let Ochre keep her company till Craven was awake. He was all "Oh hai Sunday *makes the moves,*" THANKS ACR >_>

BUT THEN SHE KEPT REJECTING HIM!

And I was outraged on his behalf, he's never had a rejection before, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM!!? HE'S AWESOME! So I may or may not have used WoohooEverywhere to force her to board the OchreTrain... And then Craven woke up and she was all 'OH HAI ILU *boink*' all on her own and I felt really bad about planning on zombie-fying her after they'd both had a ride...

SO SHE WAS SET FREE! AS FREE AS THE WIND BLOWS..! AS FREE AS THE DAMN THISTLES THAT LUCY WATERS EVERY NIGHT GROW(S)...!



Marylena? Is that even your tombstone? ARE YOU HAVING A LESBIONIC AFFAIR WITH A SISTER WIFE... BEYOND THE GRAVE!?

*narrows eyes*

I approve.



Oh lords, Craven. >_<;;; I'm forever feeling sorry for you honey. He always loses it when he's without-wife, and the constant flood of Lucy juices can't be helping.



Sienna is STILL looking for love, and the wishing well CLEARLY fails, so LETS TRY THE MATCHMAKER! :D So much hope and promise embodied in her little face...



CRUELLY DASHED UPON THE FOOTPATH. WTF! O_O Its Too-Shiny-Guy™ He kept appearing randomly in my old breeder experiment neighbourhood (which is now scary because I accidentally deleted everyone's skin tones and eyes... I'm too scared to load that 'hood now. Wont they all have eye pits like their eyes have been consumed by a four thousand year old Mummy!? I'M SORRY I DID THAT TO YOU, ASTRID! *cries forever*) and now he's HERE thinking he can mack on my 14 year old. Not gonna happen, dude. KEEP WALKING.



Extreme disappointment. ;_; Sienna's poor little face so filled with sadness at that five thousand simoleons down the drain. Multiple women died for that money, Matchmaker, and you deliver THIS?! WTF?! How do you sleep at night?

Sienna shuns TSG™ - BE ON YOUR BIKE, SIR! - and sends him on his way.



And so Sienna tries best of three. Wishing Wells/Warty Matchmakers can't go wrong EVERY time right?! Right!?



A. Cop.

Well... That's a nice firm handshake you have there, Officer. SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW BETTER!?!? You know, because of the illegals? Stop rubbing your skin against under-age Sienna's. >_<;; Concrete evidence that the SimCity police force is RIDDLED with corruption. News at 11!

Where's John Shaft when you need him? Oh right. HERE hitting on a 14 year old.

I GIVE UP! /too old for this shit



What do you get the boy who has everything (including your cherry)? Why, a solid gold ancient relic of course!! Because all teenage nymphettes have many multiple thousand dollar godess statues to give away to their pubescent seductors.



Beautiful Marylena is beautiful... Been out for a swim, my beloved? Just thought you'd stand about looking conflicted in your swim wear like a Vogue model?

♥



With Sunday free from the clutches of the Kohler-Wielle curse, I sent Craven down town to find himself a new bride. And THIS is what happened.

Craven. Craven. Craven. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you as its clearly turned you to UnfortunateDowntownie who you SHUNNED I might add in your first ever trip downtown... Maybe he's just doing a community service? Divesting her of those high pants and three dollar t-shirt? Yeah. That's what this is. Sure.

*tenuous grasp*



Hey hey hey, simsforaranya! :DDDDD Looking gorgeous! Happy you're not in this legacy?
(YET *ominous* MUAHHAHAHAA!)



I can't look. Is he really giving her a massage in an empty night club? >_>;;

No seriously, I'm typing this with my eyes closed. I don't know, I can't see his eyes boreing into the back of her neck with a disturbing concentration and enthusiastic vision at all. I don't know that this is happening.

Whoa, the ears on Pooklet's skins are REALLY detailed. Um, I have my eyes closed still so I didn't actually make that observation... CARRYING ON..!



Okay okay you're sweeping her off of her feet, we get it. STOP MAKING ME SIT THROUGH ALL OF THIS! >_<;;; You're doing it on purpose. Aren't you. This is your revenge for letting all of your wives die. For not letting you fall in love with Lyna in the first place and letting you live out your days growing old together in wedded bliss with forty children and three hundred grandkids. For letting your teenage son tap Sunday first.

Just hurry it up and ask her to move in so I can send her on a shopping trip and kill her with one of the four scenarios I've got waiting at home. Please?



Craven? Are you seriously autonomously barbeque-ing meat at a meat market?



Things I learned from the Sims # 540: Salivating on a girl's hand for an hour will teach you how to clean more effectively via osmosis.



HAI TO YOU TOO xel_squirgle_ox , just taking an early spring walk in the burbs from your hectic simsperiment filled life downtown?



I've given up trying to encourage the kids not to spend all their time lazing on the shoreline in their pajamas. Its magical sands, that appears to not enjoy filling every crevasse and valley of simbodies. Not like cruel, calculating REAL world sand. Fucking sand. Each individual grain like some kind of particle ninja turned rogue, bent on butt piracy.

/totally a beach person ^_^;;



Right. WTH?! May? You've neer even met ANYONE in this house. EVER. People waved to your UterusMother when she stopped by and everything. So, can you explain why you've wandered all the way over here from Downtown to steal the Kohler-Wielle's newspaper?

I mean top effort reducing Cube's workload, in the great tradition of Checo and Himself... But like, even Pumpkin thinks you're freaken crazy. And he's a DOG.



Awwwwwwww!! I LOVE YOU SIENNA, EXEMPLORY FAMILY SIM! This is why Valencia wanders around constantly asking me to let her adopt isn't it? I robbed her of the properly looking after a younger sibling experience by packing her off to college. And then gave her coveted position to Sienna. USURPED BY A YOUNGER MODEL! And she's not even out of college yet. ^_^;;



Craven and Unfortunate out on a date, Crumplebottom calls SHENANIGANS..! I AM ON YOUR SIDE, TEAM CB!! SHE'S OUR MAN!!! IF SHE CAN'T DO IT, NO ONE CAN..!

*throws pom poms sensible hand bags and lets them fall where they may*



Craven's fingers are magical! He puts them on your shoulders and HEY PRESTO! LOVE! :D That his face is bathed in a strange blue light, and that his features have suddenly become pointy and almost... Wolflike as his fingers close around her neck... Not suspicious at ALL. She's in love now man, if you strangle her you could dump her body in the boot of the car (does that thing even have a boot?) take her corpse home, we can have a re-animation party and you crazy kids can get hitched post-zombification. Thoughts?



Craven thought I was mainlining crack and instead thought he'd tenderly kiss the newest in a long line of women objectifying him with their affection. And LOOKIE what he got for his trouble. See? You coulda offed her and saved yourself the aggravation. But NUuUUuUuuuuuuUu had to take the non-homocidal route and repeat offend whilst Crumplebottom was lurking in the bushes waiting to strike.

She MAY or may not have it in for Craven especially because as a joke after she appeared one day to beat on Sienna, I used InSim to make her fall in love with him. I kind have the feeling this is why she seems to always magically appear on their lot and whenever any of them head downtown. She's stalking the whole family because she just wants their love... ^_^;;



WHAT?! O_O ACR, Is this you!? I've never had a sim do this before, and you guessed it, its Ochre putting in a call to the ADULT BV Tourist the Wishing Well felt it prudent to hurl his way. Of course. Couldn't be anyone he'd already slept with or, you know, his age or anything... ^_^;;



Unfortunate™: If you think you're getting away, I will prove you wrong! :D
Craven: I'll take you all the way, *eyebrow waggle*
Unfortunate™: Boy, just come along *purring wink*
Me: HEY, Hey!! Its murder on the dance floor! O_O;;
Unfortunate™: But you better not kill the groove... D:<
Me: Dj, gonna burn this goddamn house right down..! *scratches out eyeballs*



Elfin bartender who doesn't give a crap about ID checks thinks sex in photobooths is AWESOME..! Methinks custodial duties don't fall to his lot. Brandi LeTourneau is disgusted by the fact someone got into Unfortunate's pants but then LET HER PUT THEM BACK ON. I hear you Brandi. Oh how I hear you.



It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in posession of good fortune MUST be in want of a wife. And this is the only justification I can find for THIS happening. I'm only letting this go on because we're offing her so I can fulfill my promise to brilliantcat for a Zombie bride. Just so we're clear. K? WTF brow ridge!? O_O Talk about 375 skill in Glass Cutting, she's got it going on on her forehead let alone her nips..! o_O;;



MUU (choose) IS DISPLEASED AND WHOLLY UNIMPRESSED!!! :D

MuuSim: JUST.. NO |:



In amongst wants to drag Unfortunate™ home, snog her to death and tie the knot, Craven's still TERRIFIED of falling out of a love that he does not have with Lyna, and is desperate to be her best friend. ADORABLE!!!



Hey Lisa! You're a refreshing change from Lucy! :D Although why are you the wrong colour? Don't electrocuted sims glow yelllow, not white as though you died of old age in permaplat?! WHO YOU SLEEPING WITH OVER THERE TO GET THOSE KINDS OF POST-MORTEM UPGRADES?!



Wow, the ghosts are out in force tonight... Someone drop a packet of 'Get Out of Jail, Free' cards in purgatory or are they all just happy to see a potential new addition to the phantom harem...?

Sienna: HOLY CRAP! ITS MY MUM!
Me: *pops ping pong balls in Sienna's mouth hoping to win an oversized novelty stuffed hippopotamus*



Ochre's booty call finally shows -- I'm assuming she hiked all the way from Three Lakes -- with her own backpack full of condoms. Not over eager or anything, Ochre'd been standing on the footpath waiting for her in the chilled night air ever since she agreed to take him up on his call of the wild.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTY! ASSEMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE..!!



Me: Here, *links image* Guest caption this? XD
ymp: Is that ghosts behind them?
ymp: A GHOST SHIP?!
Me: There is a sunken ship behind them, yes XD
ymp: That is AWESOME.
Me: LMAO!! I stuck it there for visual interest
ymp: I am interested.

I love me some Yvonne. ♥



Ochre's randy knows NO bounds..! His step-mother attempts to terrify him into not sleeping with his pre-arranged booty call but all she manages to do is enable him to go for a open handed grope.

'Oh sorry babe, the ghost of the woman that raised me tried to scare me to death, or at least into shrinkage. *honk*'



THE HORROR! I've never seen an electrocuted sims ghost re-enact their death before. I lolled when Lisa died, but this whole suddenly dropping to the sand in re-lived sparkly agony is a little tough to take! ;_;

Although, I noticed upon future horrors, she only ever really did it when she was in close proximity to the pissed-off Hedwig kite. SUSPICIOUS!



Ochre indulges in loud, obnoxious statutory rape on the couch while his sister sets the mood by performing many and varied empassioned classical concertoes.

You know when I said I wasn't going to be having any freak incestual twin stuff in this legacy? I DON'T THINK THIS IS BETTER. DDDDDDDDD:



Lisa, her innapropriate senses tingling whilst she was taking a bit of a dip from beyond the grave, tastefully waits for Ochre to re-zip and then FIGHTS FOR MY CAUSE. I never thought I'd cheer for her but YOU GO GIRL!!

Ochre really is the target of highest proportion of hauntings. Nearly all of them being either post or pre-coital. I really like to believe its because they're almost all his mothers (bar the dogs XD) so they're trying to influence his decisions for whats best for him. Not because they're almost all women who are not related to him, spy on him endlessly and totally jealous they could never have him in their pants while they lived. That worry never even crosses my mind. ^_^



Its Rhones birthday! Sienna continues to be the mother of the house and the rest of the kids celebrate enthusiastically in their combined uniform of pajamas. Craven is no where to be seen, I think he might've actually been asleep so the kids aged up his last-born son by stealth.

I swear these kids never seem to get grubby, their hygiene is always whoa high even while building sandcastles, wrestling with dogs in the mud and recreating seminal action scenes (Tigerlily: WHO ARE YOU?! Portokal: I'm a BRITISH NANNY! AND I'M DANGEROUS!!) throughout the house.

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!? Don't they feel manky spending the entire day in their pajamas? Do kids not have a manky bar? I only woke up an hour ago, am still in bed and my manky bar is going off the chart.

PAINTER HURRY UP IN THERE, I NEEDS ME A SOAK IN A BUBBLY, ALARMINGLY PINK NON-SEXUAL AFTERNOON DELIGHT! Because baths are about getting clean, people. Not for extra curricular activity. *takes a stand*

Oh yeah, going way OT, its Rhone's moment... ^_^;;



Awww helloes Rhone! You got some serious Lisa on your face.



I downloaded this face paint specifically to put on one of the orange gen kids before I'd even started the legacy. But every time any of the kids gets old enough to use it, I freak out and have to go afk to cry in a corner.

The only reason I can carry on now is cause my cat has chosen this moment to crawl in front of my face and go to sleep across my boobs while breathing heavy, like a stalker. VISION OBSCURED BY SLOW MOVING FELINE PERVERT! *delight*



Awww, a touching family scene, of a pajama-clad clan spending quality time together -- outside in the rain? You may notice that it is DAYLIGHT and Lisa hasn't gone to bed. WHY IS THIS LOT SO BUGGED?!?! GEN TWO ARE STILL KIDS! >_<;;

Oh also, this raindrops? They are the support act, the aperitif if you will to THE MONSOON THAT WOULD NEVER END. Seriously, it went on for days, and since every sim day is around the equivalent to a year-ish, thats a HELL of a lot of rain.

You know what else it was a lot of? Lightning strikes. Every two minutes or so for those two/three days the screen would flash white while I was in the middle of trying to do something because of ALL. THE. FREAKEN. LIGHTNING. God, anyone would think the gods were displeased or something >_>;; Global Warming, it can has happening in ma sims game.



Case in point. *sigh* During this storm this happened to nearly every tree in the yard. And there's a LOT of freaken trees in their yard. O_O;;; Ochre's date with TeenGoldie was constantly getting interrupted, they'd go for third base and then Goldie would suddenly get up and start running while screaming: HOLY SHIT THERE'S FIRE AND ITS NOT JUST IN YOUR CROTCH!

Angie (the REAL name of Unfortunate™ XD) finally moved the hell in just before this all started, so she repeatedly dropped the "plan outfit..." I kept queuing up for her and would join TeenGoldie in the "Oh my god a tree's on fire but we're in the middle of a torrential downpour so there's nothing to freak out about" freak out.

DAMMIT WOMAN! I want to get you dressed and made-over so I can a) stop looking at that hideous ensemble, and b) have you play with scissors so I can check if the pair I have is the new or old ones like I promised dragancaor or c) have you go test the Room with the Moose Plates.



... On her way to freak out about yet ANOTHER tree being on fire, Angie however usurps all my PLANNED and prepared ways of dying and gets struck by lightning.

HOW DO YOU WOMEN MANAGE TO DO THIS ON YOUR OWN?!



Grim grumbles about his robes getting drenched yet AGAIN, goes through his paperwork and ushers Angie off to the great big Harrods in the sky.

I tried to get Craven to beg for her life but he wouldn't stop being a complete and utter mess. Cube couldn't give a shit, he'd never even met the woman and death's a pretty constant visitor in this home. The dogs didn't care either. Persia just followed Cube around with a happy face on, and Pumpkin just begged Tigerlilly for some belly rubbing good times. Desensitisation, they name be Kohler-Wielle.



Her tombstone in place in front of the fountain in the front yard, Craven took on a look of resigned melancholy. Ochre attempted to console his father at the death of his new fiance, but since he was in the middle of a date himself... Well, Ochre? Honey? Your lacklustre is showing.



The infamous tree Angie was on her way to freak out about, burning brightly. You and the lightning were in cahoots, weren't you, Tree?

*John Black Eyebrow Suspicion*

Oh wow, I just realised they killed that character off last year. THERE WILL COME A TIME WHEN NO ONE WILL KNOW WTH I'M TALKING ABOUT WITH THAT! That's super weird O_o;;; Man I don't even watch Days and I want John's eyebrows to be brought back from the grave. STEFANO? RESSURECT THE BROWS!



So I need an old priest and a young priest. And a removalists truck, STAT. O_O;;



Still in their pajamas (although DemonicPortokal has seen fit to change into something more presentable for his customers), Ochre and Sienna decide to be supportive sibilngs and purchase ice-cold lemonade whilst the storm rages on.

Did everyones smarts get washed away with the rain as well?



POP! ARMAGAD! MIDAS IS A BEAGLE!! Who knew!? :D He's all brownie orange with yellow eyes. WIN MULTIGENERATIONAL, MIDAS! :D I'd high five you but your paws seem to have vanished. He's also a master of phasing? Either that or the rug just became quicksand. Not really shocking from the amount of time it spends completely drenched in Lucy.



I know this is supposed to be adorable, but.. O_O;;; OPEN MAW OF DOOM.



Because he never had a picture perfect wedding, and because I promisedbrilliantcat, I give you... THE CALL OF THE ZOMBIE!

Really much more clinical than you've been lead to believe. None of this meteor from the sky bringing an infection that reanimates the dead with a unquenchable hunger for grey matter. No cameo from Rawdon Crawley in an secure underground facility being all bad ass, Milla Jovovich screwing and virus releasing. Not even a mess of misinformed Green Peace activists who for once were leaving the whales in peace and going in for some angry angry apes.

Nope, zombiism is just a crusty retro phone call away.



Well this is a little unfair..! I'm doing this on purpose, no need to be snippy.



Interesting clean neck burn thing going on there O_O;; ANYWAY:

BEHOLD! ZOMBIE ANGIE!! Well okay she's not much to look at right now. Hell she looks exactly like she would had she just been burned in the hot tub and lived...



And so perhaps this is why, in spite of his MASSIVE turn off of zombiism, Craven's all ZOMG TOUCH ME WITH YOUR UNDEAD FINGERS, BABY..!

----