The Kohler-Wielle Legacy 2.2: Graduation (kinda)... FINALLY, LORDS...!
CAUTION: Nett's fed up with University! xD Oh yeah and swearing, sex and stuff...
Need to catch up? Kohler-Wielle Archive
We open this uh... Sunny? Update with a shot of yet another dormie UNWELCOMINGLY SLEEPING IN VALENCIA'S BED. I may have had a modest amount of rage about this. Especially as I was pretty DAMN sure I'd included Dizzy's hack to stop dormies from forgetting that "OH HAY! I LIVE HERE!" but it never took. They'd just tell me that they had to be getting home, and then crawl into V or Risso's bed.
Hey guys, that's not your home. Just cause YOUR parents didn't guilt-spring for fifteen thousand count bed sheets... *narrows eyes*
No seriously, what did I JUST say?! You realise that's a married couples bed, right?! Their MARRIAGE bed?! Where they consummate their marriage? ALL. THE. TIME!?
God she must've snuck in while they were breaking to eat.. Sims don't have a wet spot?
DOES RISSO KNOW ABOUT THIS?! Although I guess considering his twincestual tendencies he'd find walking in on his sister and his wife incredibly hot... BAH!
LMAAAOOOOOO!! Okay I first saw this happen in The Dorks and I thought it might've come with a hack or something but I WAS WRONG! *dies so hard* So if you have no clue what to do with your life, you become a Philosopher?
Does that make Valencia a Sorcerer in the US?
Risso ended up as this as well because NORMALLY when I play the sims my simmies roll a want to declare a specific major. So I was just waiting for them to tell me what they wanted. Apparently they didn't want anything. Well, okay, Valencia wants Cube. And clearly Risso wanted (and got) Jemima who's a psych major... NOT HELPFUL CAREER PATHS THOUGH, GUISE.
SO! I decided if V was going to be the wife of a Senator (cause thats what Cube is now xD) then she was gonna need a cutie makeover. Also I have all these orange clothes and hairs and wanted to show them off. xD And thusly, MEET THIRD YEAR VALENCIA. She's sweet, like a fruit pie.
JUST TO BE WARNING YOU! I'm REALLY sick. Like lol the lurgy is attempting to kill me (like I have no voice, none, not at all, and if I try to talk I hack up a lung and my throat turns in on itself and tries to come out my mouth). I may or may not have been able to sleep till like 5am this morning and was fitfully thrashing all night... Then I may or may not have slept only until 7am when the birds decided to tell me it was an AWESOME DAY for over an hour straight whereupon the monkeys from the Zoo decided to join in until 10am (we live across the parklands from the zoo, I can see the enclosures from my house) and go, well, for a lack of a better term: Ape Shit. 10am I FINALLY managed to go back to sleep till nearly 2...
SO I MIGHT BE A LITTLE PUNCH DRUNK! AND ENTIRELY OFF OF MA GAME! THIS IS WHAT I'M UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF WHILE I'M TYPING THIS! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED..!
Sorry if its boring ^_^;;
OKAY DORMIE. WTH. HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD YET!? Also, wth why is your pee GREEN?!?! O_O;;; I'm not just making that shit up guys, look at the grass, look at her pee/bed. Its GREEN. RADIOACTIVITY IS KEEPING HER ALIVE!
Whats the matter Jemima? Risso not cutting it in the bedroom? Or do you just enjoy mixing it up a little with props?
Cube has come a calling and he brought a friend along. Who is this friend? Why look its V's little sister, Sienna. Sienna enjoys being an advertising billboard. Valencia is feeling threatened. WHY IS HE HANGING OUT WITH HER KID SISTER?! SHOULD SHE BE WORRIED?! SHALL HER POSITION BE USURPED?!
Freaked, V drops on one knee and proposed to Cube with a blinging ring in a box as big as her face. Her face, its the poster face for stress.
Cube is NOT IN THE MOOD for shotgun fear-induced engagements. Valencia is crestfallen and believes all her suspicions are confirmed. HE'S DUMPING HER FOR A YOUNGER, TANNER MODEL..!
Except where he's not. His eyes, they are only for V. His other parts also. Although, he's not the smartest little honeybee in the hive. Fall in love with Valencia?
Cube? You already ARE in love with her >_>;;
Cube: BUT I WANNA DO IT AGAIN!! :D
Me: But.. Game mechanics and... Does just more in love count? *hopeful*
Wow, you're all class, Ashley. I can totally see what Jemima sees in you. Mhmmm... Although, atleast this confirms that your pee is in fact normal coloured and not full of chlorophyll like BlueSweater the Spawn of PlantSims™...
Me: Risso you know you have a desk, right?
Risso: AAAH! But there's nothing like fresh lesbian urine in the morning!
Me: *backs away slowly and flees in search of Valencia*
Having fallen out of love with Cube because of his proposal rejection, it took about three snogs and a goose for her to fall BACK in love with him. Good to see their relationship is based on a concrete footing... ^_^;;
Risso's bed. Check. Risso in Risso's bed. Check. Brunette in bed with Risso. Check. Brunette who is also his wife, Jemima, NOT CHECK WHY ARE YOU HERE, DORMIE?!
Also, I don't even think these two are friends. So how is it that the game is allowing them to share a bed!? O_O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
So by now BlueSweater the Spawn of PlantSims™ has peed herself and passed out so many times on the street that she thinks its funny. Look at her only slightly embarrassed and largely amused face. She's all *shakes of excess radioactive pee* and wanders on in to get a meal....
How about, oh, I dunno, HAVE A SHOWER?! GOD I wish the Influence > Clean included cleaning THEMSELVES...
Just cause I thought a) Cube's underwear is hilarious and b) HOT!
Money down. This is Cube's O face.
So about six consecutive rolls in the sack later... WOW these two got stamina, Valencia's crazy giddy and just a little punch drunk her self...
But so is Cube and so when she pulls out that shiny eclipse once more, he jams that thing on his finger and then lets it flashy thing imprint on his soul... Cube! You're a Kohler-Wielle now. No matter what you do, your fate! IT IS SEALED!
Valencia: As strong as an ox.
Valencia: *ridiculously pleased with the back of this couples photograph*
Lighthouse: *stands tall if not a little dim*
Shipwreck: *shakes a figureheads fist in the lighthouses' direction*
I never got that, I mean I know WHY they did it, but really, GIANT photobooth photos that are double sided? WHUT!? Dat shit gonna cost more than ten smackers rite dere.
Cube and Valencia celebrate their new engagement by playing a vicious round of pillow fighting on the un-safety-fenced doorm roof, while a rather abandoned Sienna sits on the sand and ponders the fleeting architecturally doomed life of her sandcastle..
...AND THEN ITS UNI TIMES FOR HER AND OCHRE!! WOOOO!!! I love how Sienna grew up, not a baboon in sight and she does all sorts of awesome things for the colour orange. She moved into four bedroom house on campus with her high-school boyfriend, Connor Dawn and...
With Ochre and Tessa. Hey, Tessa was their sister for at least four seconds rubbed together, rubbed being the operative word... ^^;; These two have a rather... Terrifying co-dependant style relationship. Both still have crushes on each other but are both YAY YAY when the other one scores. And then they celebrate. On each other.
OH SHIT GIRL I LOVE YOU ♥ ♥ DAAMMMMNNN Makes me sad that my next challenge means there's NO WAY I could do double heirs. I hope someone takes her and does something fantabulously /SEXCASUAL/ with her <33333333
So I heard the WOOCRUSH sound and freaked out and then realised that only Jemima was in the dorm of my playables. And THEN went wait so WTH?! O_O;; And spun around the whole dorm looking for where it had emenated from. And then I finally get to the roof. Awwwwwwwwww!! Keely's getting her freak on with crazy StalkerDormie <3
Awww I hope you two get married and have very many masculine babies :D
PLEASE STOP THIS! You're making my head hurt guiiiiiiise. These two spend more time sleeping together in JEMIMA'S bed than Risso does sleeping with Jemima.
When you guys graduate I'm moving you two VERY far away from each other. Different sub-hoods or something...
(Well, actually, as it turned out I got a new computer and this hood was so buggy they got moved to totally different realities. TAKE THAT, TWINCESTUAL OFFENDERS!)
PaedoCook™ starts yet another fire -- funny how he suddenly managed to start doing that only AFTER he'd already been working there for more than a year. Keely and her StalkerDormie™ bf came running out of Keely's room to scream and run about under the sprinkler because that's EXACTLY what you do when there's a fire in the building. EXCEPT, I feel SUSPICION should be cast on StalkerDormie™ entirely due to the fact that he wears sunglasses ALL THE TIME without previous explanation and now he's grinning like an idiot...
Fireface, anyone..? Would kinda explain Keely's TOTAL LACK OF CONSISTENCY..!
YEAH!!! The first time I've ever seen a Cleanbot in action before. *squeals* EXCITING!! Small things amuse me, k?? xD Poor Keely, lost a foot just so I could witness this... ;_; ITS OKAY THOUGH KEELY!!! Valencia has a gold badge in robotics, she can BUILD you a new better, faster, stronger foot and you could win the paralympics :D
So after two and a half years of lesbian casual sex action, NOW Ashley falls in love. NOW. Also, um, Does RISSO KNOW ABOUT THIS!?
Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not sure that he'd actually mind... ^_^;;
The family Kohler-Wielle. Not known for their subtlety. Awww Risso, you hurt his feelings.
So I built this little reading/study area as the FIRST THING I ever designed in this house and this is the first time any of them ever used it. In third year. Thanks guys..!
Risso: WTH? IDK WHAT WE'RE EVEN READING O_O;;
HOW do you get on the Dean's list every semester!?
Eeeeeeee!! Ball of Stink makes a cameo! And he sitteth in a director's chair... BALL OF STINK IS THE ARCHITECT?!?!?
Hey Ashley? They've been married for six months. You were there when they got together. I'm pretty sure you'd remember that colourful threesome on the roof... So seeing the delightful couple openly giving each other a hug in public makes you depressed and bust into tears? NOW?! Of ALL TIMES?!
*sighs*
Poor Ashley, I'm sorry punkfad girl, so heartbroken...
Uh... Or not! O_O;;
Sienna: HEY SIS! LOOKING NIIICE!
Valencia: DAMN GIRL! You're looking fiiiiiiiine..!
Keely: *stalks Kohler-Wielle girls creepily through retro art piece from bathroom*
Sienna + Valencia: BUT THAT DUDE STINKS!!!
Ah, just to put a finer point on it. Subtlety, thy name be not Kohler-Wielle.
Cube? I love you. But drugs? They are bad. Lay off them k? We don't need any scandals in the parliaments. And I'm pretty sure we can't say you didn't inhale... ^_^;;
So if a tree caught fire in the rain like this outside my home, and I caught it this early in the game I'm pretty sure I'd a) call the fire department, then b) make sure I was wearing proper protective gear (as much as I had on hand) then c) grab a hose to try and help the rain along with putting it out.. The most dangerous/stupid thing I'd do would be to, on top of all that, grab a dslr with a full on macro to take photos from a safe distance... ^_^;;
WHY DO SIMS INSIST ON PULLING THIS SHIT??
BlueSweater the Spawn of PlantSims™ is no longer sustained by the power of radioactivity! AND SHE SCREAMS OUT GOODBYE TO THE CRUEL WORLD IN WHICH SHE WAS SPAWNED, FULLY GROWN..!
And it appears as though everyone came running out just to bag her out ;_; Poor BlueSweater, no one loved her in life and everyone just wanted to bitch about how smelly she was. RACISM TOWARDS RADIACTIVE URINATORS!! OUTBIRK!
So, Risso? Jemima? Radioactive BlueSweater™ was not Jim Morrrison. Nor was she Oscar Wilde. You know how I can tell? Cause the grave is new, you're not in Paris, and its not coated with flowers and graffitti nor is it coated with kisses of adoring fans.
Unless you're pretending. Which is fun and all... But... You know, there's this thing called approrpriateness and... IS RISSO EVEN WEARING CLOTHES?!? O_O
BlueSweater's replacement showed up, amusingly enough also wearing blue. So I got Risso to give her an homage make-over in honour of his and Jemima's mildly necrophilic sexy times the late Radioactive BlueSweater the Spawn of PlantSims™
WHAT. THE. HELL. Jemima and Risso take public tantric one step WAY too far...
YES I AM GOING TO GO THERE. ARE YOU READY!? ARE YOU PREPARED?! CLICHES FEATURED IN SUCH JERRY BRUCKHEIMER GREATS LIKE FACE OFF ARE ABOUT TO BE UNLEASHED...!
Cube! He hates to see V leave, but MAN he LOVES to watch her go...
Awwwwww!! Its like the male version of Disney's Cinderella in the scrubbing the floors scene. Only drug induced and coupled with a never ending annoying musical score.
No, wait. Same.
Either Risso did something VERY VERY WRONG, and so he's in the doghouse or, DORMIES STOLE ALL THE BEDS AGAIN >_>;;; Maybe Jemima's a Disney fan and outbirked with the fire of her wood against my last slander, but unable to take it out on me she took it out on poor, unsuspecting spouse. I'm sorry Risso! I hope that log is comfortable, and historically people have spent literally MILLIONS THOUSANDS! HUNDREDS! tens on soothing ocean sounds to help them sleep and you get that for frees!
You hobo.
Couldn't have summed it up better myself, Risso! University, though it brings the lulz, SUCKS HARD AND I AM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN IN A LEGACY.
NYEVAH.
EHYVAH.
Everyone from now on can get their college degrees 'by correspondence' aka Christianluv's Conterfeit College Diploma. I love me some over exuberant congratulations in regards to fake degrees anyway. So lets all pretend that the last year of school was entirely uneventful, and everyone graduated with full honours. Miraculously.
Lyna sprung for Risso and Jemima to go on a whirlwind world trip as a belated wedding present where Risso knocked Jemima up; they had a threesome with a filipina cruise singer singer named Kahel; and they managed to cut a deal on selling cut-price blue sweaters to uni students so they never had to work again. All of which Risso thought was awesome. The three of them came back to SimCity and moved into a condo in Downtown where they threw a whirlwind of constant parties and spoiled brought up their mean, brat of a daughter, Gules.
V moved in with her Dad's new family - Cube included (since he already was living there xD) - where they all planned buying new homes in a new neighbourhood on the other side of SimCity. Cube used some of his extensive wealth to purchase a huge shorefront property and hired a world renouned architect, Orboreek & Sons, to design and build them their dream home on my new Macbook Pro, Midori, by the ocean.
FABULOUS! :D
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