I have opinions

[filenotch]

In fairestcat's journal, she brought up gay behavior in bandom. It pushed a button. Her post and my comment here.

fairestcat, I don't know if I repeated arguments already used, and I'm sorry if I harshed your buzz, or whatever the phrase is, but we're going to have to disagree on this one. (But the icon is meant to indicate I do have a sense of humor about it.)

Comments

[kudra2324]

you know, i have exactly zero involvement in bandom, and an instinctive response of saying "people should be allowed to behave however they would like to behave." (disclaimer: i have read very little of the discussion question.) i think i love your comment, though, for how artfully and inexorably it gets to its point. because if that really is the conclusion: you can kiss boys on stage, but you can still only marry girls - there is obviously something very insidious going on.

(btw, i know i never responded to a comment of yours a couple of weeks ago and i'm sorry. i will respond to it eventually.)

[filenotch]

I've read none of the discussion, and in large part agree that people should be allowed to do what they want. Doesn't mean I won't call a spade a shovel.

Insidious isn't the word I'd use, unless Black-face would be considered insidious. I mean, it could be argued that the long-term effect of performers such as Jolsen helped open the door for Black performers, but I wouldn't agree.

[kudra2324]

livejournal ate my comment.

trying this again:

i say insidious because i think "stage gay" is less obviously an act of dressing up (arguably, at least) and seems, therefore, like it doesn't represent the same distance between the performers in this circumstance and being gay as does someone like jolson and being black. so it seems less problematic at first glance.

[filenotch]

Well, as I said elsewhere, gay jokes are the only stereotype humor still allowed. A lisp and swish is always good for a laugh, even from people who would decry any watermelon references.

Maybe I'm just old and cynical. If you follow the link again, there's further interchange telling me that I'm just wrong and the stage gay is opening up the gender space with younger people, but I don't know. Too much history in the south, too many times watching people backpedal and contort themselves when they discover I'm not straight...

[rosewildeirish]

Just wondered if you'd seen this. Thought she made some good points in that post.

[filenotch]

Interesting. I guess I had a blind spot on the cock issue. Privilege works lots of ways. There are layers and layers here, and I've been jumped on once already in fairestcat's journal by someone who didn't see how these Gay-face boys are retaining heterosexual privilege.

[fairestcat]

You didn't harsh my buzz at all, I welcome disagreement and I know this is an issue with lots of grey in it.

I hate to see you go, but I understand needing to regroup to focus on things outside lj, I've been trying to do the same myself a bit lately.

[filenotch]

Thanks. I wish you well. The decision has been a long time coming, and had a lot to do with the mental energy I expended on that exchange, the fact that I had houseguests and was sneaking off the check my email. If I hid bottles around the house the same way, everyone would know what to label it.