feelin goofy
feel free to skip this entry if you have a weak stomach or are opposed to things that are hopelessly mushy.
it's official. i am hopelessly, totally, completely in love.
ok yeah, i've been crazy about him and loved him for quite a while now. but today, something just sorta made sense out of the blue. he was here watching the blues game while i was in chapter, and i just couldn't wait to get back here. just knowing i was going to get to come home to him... was just the best feeling in the world. every sappy movie i watch, or song i hear, or anything. i see something awful on the news and i think about how lucky i am to have him. something is going wrong, no matter what it is, and even if he's not there i feel like he helps me through whatever it is, like i can handle anything. nothing good seems real until i know he's happy for me too. i keep getting distracted from whatever i'm doing because i keep thinking about things. "i should be sleeping 'stead of dreamin about you." like right now, i should be in bed or i should be working, and yet i feel the need to vent this all somehow. not a bad vent, just a release.
i hate syracuse and if i had the patience i'd be counting down the seconds until i can leave. but i'm terrified of what will happen. what do you do when you hit the point where you just automatically envision someone in your future? even when you know it might not be possible? and you have no idea whatsoever if they feel even remotely the same?
i wonder if i'm putting too much into this sometimes. but it just feels right. like i can put so much into it, but not lose myself in the process.
this scares me to death.
it's official. i am hopelessly, totally, completely in love.
ok yeah, i've been crazy about him and loved him for quite a while now. but today, something just sorta made sense out of the blue. he was here watching the blues game while i was in chapter, and i just couldn't wait to get back here. just knowing i was going to get to come home to him... was just the best feeling in the world. every sappy movie i watch, or song i hear, or anything. i see something awful on the news and i think about how lucky i am to have him. something is going wrong, no matter what it is, and even if he's not there i feel like he helps me through whatever it is, like i can handle anything. nothing good seems real until i know he's happy for me too. i keep getting distracted from whatever i'm doing because i keep thinking about things. "i should be sleeping 'stead of dreamin about you." like right now, i should be in bed or i should be working, and yet i feel the need to vent this all somehow. not a bad vent, just a release.
i hate syracuse and if i had the patience i'd be counting down the seconds until i can leave. but i'm terrified of what will happen. what do you do when you hit the point where you just automatically envision someone in your future? even when you know it might not be possible? and you have no idea whatsoever if they feel even remotely the same?
i wonder if i'm putting too much into this sometimes. but it just feels right. like i can put so much into it, but not lose myself in the process.
this scares me to death.