"I don't judge"

[fimoc]

There's a lot that bothers me about the phrase "I don't judge" (or "try not to", etc.). What I need to understand is why people say it, what they mean by it, and why it's bad to be judgmental. I would argue that it is absurdly illogical to not judge, because without a judgment nothing ever happens for any reason backed by evidence. What I would

Comments

[queenofolupitoo]

I think the refusal to judge isn't about judging situations, but more about judging people. I think it likely has roots in Christian culture as in the phrase "Judge not, lest ye be judged

[butter_fly_]

I think that when people claim to not judge, they're referring almost exclusively to situations in which their gut instinct is to judge someone negatively but they have some (however substantiated or flimsy) reason for thinking that such a judgment would be hasty or inappropriate. They don't usually mean that they're withholding judgment about safety concerns or positive aspects of their acquaintance/friend/partner. When people make positive judgments they don't usually label it a "judgment" - they'll just say "He's so good at x

[butter_fly_]

The Bridezilla case sounds like a case of your friend taking the PC route and refusing to judge "because I don't know what her life is really like". The problem with this sort of political correctness is that it's easily overused or misplaced. In this case, your friend's refusal to judge was both overused and misplaced. That show (I've seen a few episodes) is made for entertainment, and part of that entertainment is the shock value of how poorly the brides treat everyone. It's a premise of the show that these women are selfish and entitled - and each bride demonstrates this clearly through her own actions. It's a show based on judgments! Also, I don't think there's ever an excuse for treating people the way those brides do. You could know everything there is to know about their lives and it still wouldn't absolve the brides of responsibility for their own behaviors